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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,560 My name is Mr. Candy. 2 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,600 My, what a nice looking group of students. 3 00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:26,020 Who can tell me what I'm holding in my hand? 4 00:00:26,740 --> 00:00:28,940 Uh, your nads? 5 00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:31,610 No, 6 00:00:32,850 --> 00:00:33,850 my right hand. 7 00:00:34,490 --> 00:00:35,670 Is it a candy bar? 8 00:00:36,030 --> 00:00:37,730 It's more than just a candy bar. 9 00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:39,490 It's the future of your school. 10 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:42,250 Now, who'd like a candy bar? 11 00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:46,410 Who would like a hundred candy bars? 12 00:00:48,070 --> 00:00:52,370 Because I've got them here with me today, and I plan on giving them all 13 00:00:52,730 --> 00:00:56,030 But there's a candy bar. I'm not giving them to you to eat. 14 00:00:57,150 --> 00:00:58,990 I'm giving them to you to sell. 15 00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:04,510 Selling candy is a fun way to help yourself and the school. 16 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:05,890 All right, losers. 17 00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:10,930 Remember, you are competing against other classes, and I'll be damned if my 18 00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:12,050 class is going to lose. 19 00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:14,810 Hey, yo, homie. How much you give me for this? 20 00:01:15,190 --> 00:01:16,190 This right here? 21 00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:20,250 This ain't worth nothing, man, but I will give you one on the radio. 22 00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:25,470 How come Coolio has to sell stuff to me? I thought he was like a big, rich rap 23 00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:26,470 star. Yeah. 24 00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:30,830 It's like all these rap dudes always get ripped off by the man. 25 00:01:31,130 --> 00:01:32,330 Really? That sucks. 26 00:01:32,790 --> 00:01:35,990 They gotta find the man, you know, like find out where he lives. You don't have 27 00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:37,770 to go beat the crap out of him. Yeah, really. 28 00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,330 Whoa, 29 00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:40,630 check it out. Yeah. 30 00:01:41,610 --> 00:01:42,850 Young Coolio. 31 00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:46,930 Coolio. I am Coolio. 32 00:01:49,850 --> 00:01:50,850 Coolio rule. 33 00:01:56,510 --> 00:01:59,270 This kind of reminds me of that Stanford and Son show. 34 00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:00,650 Oh, yeah, yeah. 35 00:02:01,010 --> 00:02:02,110 I remember that show. 36 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:03,910 That's just how fun it is. 37 00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:07,410 Come on. Come on. I'm going to have a heart attack. 38 00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:08,670 This is the big one. 39 00:02:08,930 --> 00:02:10,169 Weezy, I'm coming to see you. 40 00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:12,210 Yeah. 41 00:02:12,950 --> 00:02:14,150 He was cool. 42 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:17,810 I like that show because there was, like, lots of garbage everywhere. 43 00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:19,190 Yeah. 44 00:02:21,170 --> 00:02:25,490 That was a black dude. It's like... 45 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:29,150 I'd grow my hair into, like, a really big afro, like, three feet tall and 46 00:02:29,290 --> 00:02:32,310 and then I'd cut out a big hole in the middle, like, just to keep stuff, you 47 00:02:32,310 --> 00:02:33,009 know? Yeah. 48 00:02:33,010 --> 00:02:36,410 You know, I could put, like, some nachos in there, you know, my keys, you know, 49 00:02:36,410 --> 00:02:37,168 stuff like that. 50 00:02:37,170 --> 00:02:38,170 That would be cool. 51 00:02:39,470 --> 00:02:43,330 You ought to just, like, keep all that stuff in your butthole, Beavis. 52 00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:45,250 Oh, yeah. 53 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:55,130 Now, our candy bars are personalized with your school's name on the wrapper, 54 00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:56,990 they're a real bargain at only $2 each. 55 00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:59,650 Heck, they practically sell themselves. 56 00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:06,470 Now, what if I told you that the richest man in the world... Well, 57 00:03:11,630 --> 00:03:14,090 you two seem to be real know -it -alls. 58 00:03:14,590 --> 00:03:18,190 Why don't you tell us what you're going to say when a customer says no? 59 00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:26,020 I'd say... Well, 60 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:33,300 I wish you luck, but it seems we're out of time. 61 00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:40,380 Yeah? Uh, are schools making us sell candy? 62 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,200 Yeah. We're losers. 63 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,860 What in the hell kind of sales approach is that? 64 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,860 You boys couldn't sell a dollar for 50 cents. 65 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:53,720 Uh, they're two dollars, sir. Yeah, don't try to rip them off. Butt wipe. 66 00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:57,340 Hmm. 67 00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,920 Well, I've only got two dollars. 68 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,198 Buy one from me. 69 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,940 No way, buy one from me. Cut it out. Get out of the way. I'll, like, sell mine 70 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,000 for half price, sir. 71 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:07,760 Yeah, yeah, me too. 72 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,000 Half price? 73 00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:10,420 Well, now you're talking. 74 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,320 Here, why don't I take one from each of you? 75 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:17,980 You boys better start charging full price. I'm sure your school can't afford 76 00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:18,980 lose money. 77 00:04:23,950 --> 00:04:25,130 Selling stuff sucks. 78 00:04:25,970 --> 00:04:26,970 Yeah. 79 00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:28,990 Hey, Beavis. 80 00:04:29,150 --> 00:04:31,010 I'll buy one of your candy bars for a dollar. 81 00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:32,290 No way. 82 00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:33,490 They're two dollars. 83 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,690 Uh, 84 00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:37,790 then can you, like, loan me a dollar? 85 00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:41,150 No way, because then you'll have, like, two dollars and I, like, won't have any. 86 00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:44,110 Come on, Beavis. I'll buy one from you. 87 00:04:44,390 --> 00:04:47,090 That way you'll sell a candy bar plus you'll have two dollars. 88 00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:50,190 Um, okay. 89 00:04:50,570 --> 00:04:51,570 Cool. 90 00:04:58,990 --> 00:04:59,990 Let me have some. Come on. 91 00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:01,370 No way. 92 00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:04,170 I'll sell you one for two dollars. 93 00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,050 Okay. 94 00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:10,830 This town sucks. 95 00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:13,070 We're never going to sell any candy. 96 00:05:13,850 --> 00:05:14,789 Hey, buddy. 97 00:05:14,790 --> 00:05:16,950 You're going to try one of these. I got peanuts. It's really good. 98 00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:19,130 Oh, yeah? 99 00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:21,430 Cool. 100 00:05:25,270 --> 00:05:27,870 Hey, Beavis. Want to buy a candy bar from me? 101 00:05:28,170 --> 00:05:29,270 Um, okay. 102 00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:33,850 Wanna buy one from me? 103 00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:35,530 Uh, okay. 104 00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:42,310 Selling candy's pretty cool. 105 00:05:43,950 --> 00:05:44,950 Yeah. 106 00:05:56,910 --> 00:05:57,990 This is horrible. 107 00:05:58,290 --> 00:05:59,290 Yeah, really. 108 00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:06,130 Bunch of rich kids, sissy boys, prancing around on a boat. Yeah. 109 00:06:11,850 --> 00:06:12,850 Whoa, 110 00:06:14,030 --> 00:06:15,070 check it out. Don Henley. 111 00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:16,750 I didn't know he was a wolf. 112 00:06:17,730 --> 00:06:18,730 You didn't? 113 00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:23,030 Where have you been, Viva? He's a total wolf. 114 00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:24,530 Really? 115 00:06:24,850 --> 00:06:25,850 Yeah. 116 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:30,840 Anytime you see a dude on TV and he's, like, trying to save some forest or 117 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:34,060 something, it means he's a total wussy. Really? 118 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,580 Yeah. Let me see. 119 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,660 Sting, yeah, he's a wuss. 120 00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:39,799 Let's see. 121 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,560 Well, Ted Danson, yeah, he's a wussy. Yeah. 122 00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:47,080 And don't forget Jackson Brown. 123 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:54,340 Look at that. He's, like, fiddling around with a dead guy's boots. 124 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,880 Whoa. That's scary, Butthead. What if after I die, like, some guy comes around 125 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,240 and fiddles around with my wiener? 126 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,300 Well, what, Beavis? You'd be dead. It doesn't matter. 127 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,400 Yeah, I guess so. 128 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,040 I guess if I was out in the ocean with a dead chick, I'd probably kiss her. 129 00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:14,120 I'd kiss a dead chick right here. 130 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,400 Yeah, so would I, yeah. 131 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:21,760 But that's kind of messed up, Butthead. I know. I was just kidding, Beavis. 132 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,240 You were probably serious. 133 00:07:25,710 --> 00:07:26,710 Well, no. 134 00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:28,050 Not really. 135 00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:33,990 Excellent job, class. 136 00:07:35,230 --> 00:07:37,350 Hey, butthead, remember that dollar I borrowed to you? 137 00:07:37,850 --> 00:07:39,430 Uh, oh, yeah. 138 00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:41,430 I remember it. 139 00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:43,310 Yeah, me too. 140 00:07:44,570 --> 00:07:47,270 Um, oh, yeah, I, like, need it back. 141 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:53,110 Well, boys, let's see. The big sellers. 142 00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,450 How'd you do? 143 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,260 We sold every one of them, dude. 144 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,040 Yeah, they practically sold themselves. 145 00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:04,340 Well, maybe there's hope for you yet. Don't touch me, asswipe! 146 00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,780 So, where's the money? Right here, dude. 147 00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:09,600 There you go. 148 00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:11,919 That's it? 149 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,540 There'd better be a hell of a lot more money than that, boys. 150 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,540 Nope, that's all of it, dude. 151 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:17,960 Two dollars. 152 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:19,800 Yeah, you can count it if you want. 153 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,800 I don't believe you. 154 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,780 I want you to give me everything you've got in your pocket. 155 00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:28,860 Hey, Beavis, he wants what's in your pocket. 156 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,039 You're a pocket fisherman. 157 00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:36,840 Oh, no, you're not going to pull that again. It took me six months to get 158 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,960 another job. Now give me the rest of the money, you little twerp. He's trying to 159 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,380 touch my wiener. Let go, pervert. 160 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:47,220 Kick him in the nads, Beavis. You too, you little tarter. What the hell are you 161 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:49,060 doing? This is my class. 162 00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:53,470 Wait your turn, jarhead. 163 00:08:54,230 --> 00:08:59,470 You just made a fatal mistake, Mr. Candy Ass. 164 00:08:59,690 --> 00:09:02,430 I hope you know something about hand -to -hand combat. 165 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:05,230 Oh, you're going down, soldier boy. 166 00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:11,970 Whoa. 167 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:21,820 This kind of rocks. 168 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,540 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like long hair and drum. 169 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000 Yeah. 170 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,640 You can't lose with that. 171 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,320 There should be more bands like this. 172 00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:40,840 There's about a million bands like this, Viva. I know, I know. There needs to be 173 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:41,840 more. 174 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,760 There should be one of these speed metal bands like everywhere. 175 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,240 Like in the mall and, you know, like... 176 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,140 I guess that would be pretty cool. 177 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,940 They should have, like, something in your house where you can just, like, 178 00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:05,020 it on and see a band like this and, like, turn it up really loud. 179 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,600 That's a good idea, Beaver. 180 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,680 You'd think they would have come up with something like that by now. Yeah, yeah. 181 00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:13,960 I should, like, go to shop class and, like, work on it. 182 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,280 Whoa, check out all that money. 183 00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:18,560 Yeah, yeah, money, money, money. 184 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:23,000 I wonder if all that money is, like, the band's money or if they just had to, 185 00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:24,660 like, go rent it to make this video. 186 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:29,740 We should, like, rent some money and then just go, like, spend it on stuff. 187 00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:34,680 Yeah. You're full of good ideas today, Viva. 188 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,120 Yeah. 189 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,320 You see? 190 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,800 You should listen to me once in a while, dumbass. 191 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,140 Viva, I got a good idea. 192 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:44,860 Shut up. 13393