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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:21,880 Class, I'm extremely happy to announce that today is Highland High's Career 2 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,900 Now, this is a wonderful opportunity for you guys. 3 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:30,320 This will give you a chance to interface with working professionals and learn 4 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:33,080 about their exciting and rewarding job field. 5 00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:34,380 Uh, 6 00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:37,420 is this, like, going to be on a test or something? 7 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:42,500 This is a life test, butthead. And please raise your hand if you have a 8 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:47,780 question. And as an incentive, everyone will be excused from one day of school 9 00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:50,420 in order to observe their vocation of choice. 10 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,320 Cool. Yeah. 11 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:57,000 Vacations kick ass. They kick ass. Yeah. Kick ass. Yeah. 12 00:00:58,860 --> 00:01:01,240 Check this out, buddy. 13 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,700 You could be saving money on long -distance calls to family and friends. 14 00:01:06,460 --> 00:01:10,460 Yeah. They keep talking about big savings, but I just don't see it. 15 00:01:15,020 --> 00:01:17,200 Oh, no. 16 00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:20,000 Oh, boy. 17 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,700 How did this ever happen? 18 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:22,920 Yeah, really. 19 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,940 This is like just a bunch of bungholes. 20 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,380 Yeah, because, whoa, that's that Brenda bitch from Beverly Hills, 21 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:34,020 902355781234567898265. 210. 22 00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:37,640 Leave us next time you're talking about that show. 23 00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:41,040 Just say Beverly Hills and forget about the numbers, okay? 24 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,360 Oh, okay. 25 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:49,200 But, like, why the hell is she hanging out with these wussies? 26 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:53,300 Yeah, I thought that, like, if you're a bitch, that you'd, like, be into, like, 27 00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:54,300 something more hardcore. 28 00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:59,880 I think sometimes if you're a bitch, it's like you listen to crap like this. 29 00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:03,900 Yeah, maybe it's like she doesn't even like it, but she just, like, plays this 30 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,420 stuff just to piss people off because she's a bitch. 31 00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:07,820 Yeah. 32 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:09,780 Bitches are cool. 33 00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:12,580 Bitches are cool. 34 00:02:18,990 --> 00:02:20,050 Hey, this guy looks familiar. 35 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,750 Well, that's that guy. Remember when we saw those naked movies that your uncle 36 00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:26,450 saw? That's the guy that was in them, right there. 37 00:02:27,450 --> 00:02:29,630 How do you know, Beavis? 38 00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:32,470 I recognize him. That's him. That's the guy that was in those naked movies, 39 00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:35,270 remember? And like, he had a schlong and he was like, you know, like doing 40 00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:39,990 the... You were looking at that guy's face when there was all that porn action 41 00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:40,990 going on? 42 00:02:41,110 --> 00:02:44,210 Well, you were probably looking at a wiener, dumbass. 43 00:02:45,890 --> 00:02:46,890 No, I wasn't. 44 00:02:47,170 --> 00:02:49,420 I was looking like... Around his wiener. 45 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,380 So, like, I guess he's, like, in a band or something? 46 00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:59,260 No. This band probably just, like, keeps him around because he can get chicks. 47 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,200 Yeah. 48 00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:04,200 How come that guy gets to be in naked movies? 49 00:03:04,420 --> 00:03:06,940 He's just, like, a big, fat, ugly slob. 50 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,520 Yeah. 51 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:14,060 Well, you're almost there, Beavis. All you need to do is just, like, get fat. 52 00:03:14,740 --> 00:03:17,360 Really? How do I get big and fat? 53 00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,020 Uh, I don't know. 54 00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:26,020 I'm getting sick and tired of dudes who sing like this. 55 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:30,580 Yeah, it's like, it's like, almost every damn video you see has, like, some guy 56 00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:31,800 singing like this. Yeah. 57 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,180 It's like he's trying to be alternative. 58 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that, yeah. And it sucks. 59 00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:48,300 Flea markets are... Cool. 60 00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:51,240 Say, boys, interested in the printed page? 61 00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:54,440 Uh, you got anything with naked chicks? 62 00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:55,698 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 63 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:56,740 With big hooters. 64 00:03:57,260 --> 00:04:03,300 Uh, no. We do mostly educational and technical manuals. Who's gonna buy that 65 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:04,920 crap? Yeah, really. 66 00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:09,500 Beavis, Butthead, you're supposed to be exploring career opportunities. 67 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,660 These jobs are stupid. 68 00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:15,020 Yeah. Everyone, like, works in a booth. 69 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,260 These people don't work in booths. They're here to answer questions and 70 00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,260 plan your future. 71 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,400 Your life after graduation? 72 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,780 Well, if you guys don't pick a career, Van Driesen won't let you skip a day of 73 00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:31,780 school next week. 74 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,200 Uh, skip school? 75 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,200 Uh, 76 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,020 we, like, need a career or something. 77 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,100 Help us get out of school. 78 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,560 You fellas think you've got what it takes for security work? 79 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,580 Do we get to kick some ass? 80 00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:54,580 Yeah. Do we get taters and tear gas? 81 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,240 Hell no. 82 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:57,900 I work at the mall. 83 00:04:58,260 --> 00:04:59,260 Video surveillance. 84 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,840 Basically, they pay me to watch TV all day. 85 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:03,280 Whoa. 86 00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:05,020 Cool. Yeah, yeah. 87 00:05:05,220 --> 00:05:06,680 Hey, buddy. We can do that. 88 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:08,920 Yeah. 89 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,660 This is gonna be cool. 90 00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:17,770 Okay, fellas, very simple. All you have to do is watch these screens. 91 00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:20,890 Cool. Hey, where's the remote? 92 00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,190 Hey, millow out! 93 00:05:23,210 --> 00:05:26,870 If you spot any unusual activity, you come and get me immediately. 94 00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:28,950 I gotta go secure the food court. 95 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:30,670 Uh, okay, dude. 96 00:05:31,350 --> 00:05:33,250 Yeah, okay, we got it under control. 97 00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:38,810 These shows suck. 98 00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:41,830 Yeah, change it to something cool. 99 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:43,610 I'm trying. 100 00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:46,900 There's nothing good on. 101 00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:48,420 These channels all suck. 102 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:49,840 Yeah. 103 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,260 Really. Let's go out and bust somebody or something. 104 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:54,720 Yeah. 105 00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:56,100 Let's secure them all. 106 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:01,759 Hey, buddy. 107 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,180 People respect the badge. 108 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:04,680 Yeah. 109 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:08,220 Because it, like, gives us permission to kick their ass and stuff. 110 00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:13,290 Chicks like a man in a uniform. 111 00:06:13,510 --> 00:06:14,510 Yeah. 112 00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:17,010 Check this out. 113 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:20,470 Excuse me, ma 'am. 114 00:06:21,490 --> 00:06:23,910 Yes? I'm like security. 115 00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:28,250 I'm like, I'm gonna have to ask you to, you know, assume the position. 116 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:33,970 Assume. If you lay a hand on me, I'll sue your ass. 117 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,350 Whoa. 118 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:39,720 Hey, butt -head, let's look for some crimes or something. 119 00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:41,540 Yeah. 120 00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:46,820 Uh, excuse me, sir, did you pay for that? 121 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,040 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 122 00:06:48,180 --> 00:06:50,560 If you just cooperate, it'll make it a lot easier on both of us, okay? 123 00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:53,420 Uh, 124 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,280 excuse me, ma 'am. 125 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:56,560 Who, me? 126 00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:58,620 Could you step over here for a minute, please? 127 00:06:59,100 --> 00:06:59,839 Yeah, yeah. 128 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,080 Yeah, we'd just like to talk to you for a minute, please. Could you step over 129 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,080 here? 130 00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:04,880 This is gonna be cool. 131 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,320 Whoa, check it out, butthead. It's an outie. That's not an outie, Beavis. 132 00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,180 There's two of them. See at the nipples. 133 00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:19,440 Those aren't nipples, butthead. Look how low they are. 134 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,900 No way, Beavis. That's just because she doesn't have any legs or a butt. 135 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,480 Oh, yeah, yeah. Besides, nipples can be low. 136 00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:27,760 Just look at your mom. 137 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:29,840 I guess they are nipples. 138 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,180 Whoa, check out that black dude. 139 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:34,800 Yeah. 140 00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:36,780 He's going to save the day. 141 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,040 Oh, yeah, yeah. 142 00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:44,320 Check it out. He's shaking his head. 143 00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:46,060 Wake up. Wake up, Ponzi. 144 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,800 Yeah. 145 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,340 That dude's like Fang. 146 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,040 Damn it. Quit messing with my head and go get my leg. 147 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:55,880 Yeah. 148 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:04,650 Check it out, buddy. 149 00:08:04,790 --> 00:08:05,810 A flot. 150 00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:07,670 Yeah. 151 00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,550 Your mother's a flot. 152 00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:12,670 I'm not a mother. 153 00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:13,870 That's a bee. 154 00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:15,850 Well, that dude's got a pet bee. 155 00:08:17,650 --> 00:08:18,650 That's pretty cool, yeah. 156 00:08:19,470 --> 00:08:22,490 I had a bee that I teached it to go sting people. 157 00:08:24,210 --> 00:08:26,330 Take him, boy. Take him. Take him in the bus. Go. 158 00:08:27,570 --> 00:08:28,570 Yeah. 159 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,460 Okay, good night, little dude. See you tomorrow. 160 00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:40,900 Oh, what the hell are those punks doing? 161 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,380 Uh, did you pay for that, ma 'am? 162 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,860 Yeah. Can I see your receipt, please? 163 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,740 Yeah, can I see your slip? 164 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:50,500 Excuse me? 165 00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:53,640 Uh, can we, like, frisk you? 166 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,320 Yeah, yeah, me too. I don't think so. 167 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,320 What are you doing away from your post? 168 00:08:59,860 --> 00:09:01,100 Let me handle this. 169 00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:04,010 Did you, uh, purchase that, ma 'am? 170 00:09:04,350 --> 00:09:05,410 Yes, I did. 171 00:09:05,810 --> 00:09:08,390 I apologize, ma 'am. I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position. 172 00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:10,450 It looks like a full cavity search. 173 00:09:12,410 --> 00:09:15,770 White trash, rent -a -cop, piece of... 174 00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:23,490 You're 175 00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:24,490 pretty cool. 176 00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:35,810 Is this one of those sneaker ads where, like, those basketball players sit 177 00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:36,810 around in a barbershop? 178 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,250 Uh, yeah. 179 00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:40,770 Only it's, like, a bunch of white guys. 180 00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:43,170 And white music. 181 00:09:44,370 --> 00:09:46,690 Yeah. It's butt -white music. 182 00:09:48,990 --> 00:09:50,250 Hey, where'd that cat come from? 183 00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:53,130 Uh, I think it came out of the nose. 184 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,510 Oh, man. 185 00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:56,150 Is that supposed to be funny? 186 00:09:56,810 --> 00:09:58,850 Uh, it's supposed to be. 187 00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:02,400 It would have been funny if it came out of his butt. 188 00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:07,300 Why is that? I mean, how come, like, if it comes out of his nose, it's not that 189 00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:09,660 funny, but, like, if it comes out of his butt, it's funny? 190 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:10,919 Why is that? 191 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,700 Well, it's because, like, your butt has a crack in it. 192 00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:15,980 Oh, yeah. 193 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:27,220 What a wuss. 194 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,740 I hate it when you go to the barber, and it's like, he starts cutting your hair, 195 00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:35,860 and then he goes, so, how's school? 196 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,260 Yeah. 197 00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:39,460 I usually say, it sucks. 198 00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:43,340 Now shut up and cut my hair before I stick that comb up your butt. 199 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,600 You know, butthead, maybe that's why you get all those fucky haircuts, you know? 200 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,100 Maybe you should try being a little nicer. 201 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,960 I'm going to shove a comb up your butt. 202 00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,500 My hair looks cool. 14147