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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,859 --> 00:00:10,760 Steve, my career as a leading molecular biologist seems far away. 2 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:13,900 Yeah, but I'm not. 3 00:00:14,740 --> 00:00:16,059 Damn, you're smooth. 4 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,200 Whoa. 5 00:00:18,980 --> 00:00:20,640 We gotta get us one of those. 6 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,820 You mean like a testicular biologist? 7 00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:26,100 No, dill hole, a beard. 8 00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:30,100 We don't score because chicks don't think we're manly enough. 9 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,520 Oh, yeah. What if we had like a fake ID? 10 00:00:34,010 --> 00:00:36,550 No way, Beavis. A beard is better. 11 00:00:36,850 --> 00:00:38,710 It looks cool. 12 00:00:39,090 --> 00:00:40,950 You know, like ZZ Top. 13 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:42,870 Oh, yeah. Cool. 14 00:00:43,490 --> 00:00:44,770 So how do we get one? 15 00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:47,590 It's supposed to grow in, I guess. 16 00:00:50,970 --> 00:00:51,970 Uh -oh. 17 00:00:53,110 --> 00:00:58,030 Oh, damn it. 18 00:00:59,150 --> 00:01:00,150 Hey, buddy. 19 00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:01,690 Wasn't that ever cool? 20 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,400 I think this might have been cool when we were like five years old. 21 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,900 Oh, yeah. 22 00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:12,220 I think my mom used to like sing this song like as a lullaby when I was going 23 00:01:12,220 --> 00:01:13,220 sleep. 24 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:16,560 Really? 25 00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:17,740 Yeah. 26 00:01:20,820 --> 00:01:21,820 Whoa. 27 00:01:22,590 --> 00:01:24,510 These chicks look like real slut. 28 00:01:24,830 --> 00:01:27,510 Yeah, yeah. Like, I think these chicks are really slut. 29 00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:29,170 Yeah, hey. 30 00:01:29,470 --> 00:01:30,470 Slut. 31 00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:31,690 Slut. 32 00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:33,710 Slut. 33 00:01:35,350 --> 00:01:38,390 You know what else? Like, these chicks are all like sophomores. 34 00:01:38,910 --> 00:01:40,430 Yeah, that's cool. 35 00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:49,550 Hey, Beavis, I just got an idea. 36 00:01:50,530 --> 00:01:51,530 What? 37 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:57,060 They should have a show, you know, like Cop, only they should call it Flut, and 38 00:01:57,060 --> 00:02:00,080 they just, like, follow these Fluts around with a camera. 39 00:02:00,380 --> 00:02:03,800 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, they could have, like, Flut in Houston, and then, like, 40 00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:06,460 Fluts in Phoenix, you know, just like Cop. 41 00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:08,320 I have a really good idea about it. 42 00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:09,539 Yeah. 43 00:02:10,539 --> 00:02:13,620 This guy keeps going, I want a woman. 44 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,520 But it's like, I want a woman too, but I'm not out there singing some crappy 45 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:21,520 song about it. 46 00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:24,120 Yeah, but it's like, so we want the woman. So what? 47 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,480 So does everybody. 48 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,520 I do like the fluff. 49 00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:29,320 Yeah. That's cool. 50 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:35,960 Hey, butthead, how's my beard look? 51 00:02:36,420 --> 00:02:38,560 Uh, almost there, dude. 52 00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:44,820 How's it look now? 53 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000 Yeah. Uh. 54 00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:49,320 Maybe we're supposed to, like, put water on it. 55 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,580 How about now? 56 00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:56,860 Dammit, Beavis, it's not working. 57 00:02:57,620 --> 00:02:58,620 This sucks. 58 00:02:58,660 --> 00:03:00,380 We'll never score without beards. 59 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,140 Uh, well, there's something we could do. 60 00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:05,140 Yeah, spank our monkeys? 61 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,080 No, dumbass. 62 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:08,940 Just leave it to me. 63 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:11,720 Beards rule. 64 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:16,720 Damn, you're smooth. 65 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,180 Ow! That hurt! 66 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,920 Hold still, asswipe. 67 00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:23,460 Don't mess up my hair, bunghole. 68 00:03:26,420 --> 00:03:27,420 Don't worry, dude. 69 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,240 I'm making you look cool. 70 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:32,700 Whoa! 71 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,320 I'm, like, even more cool looking than normal. 72 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,760 Yeah. Okay, dude. 73 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,060 It's beard time. 74 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:46,000 Uh... Uh, words, uh, words, uh. 75 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,940 It's a view on wood. 76 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,860 Yeah. It's really cool. 77 00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:56,660 Uh, okay. 78 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,560 Now get the hair I cut off. 79 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:01,760 Oh, yeah. 80 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,480 Oh, yeah. 81 00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,840 Here we go. Right there. 82 00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:09,270 If I'm over there. 83 00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:11,930 Whoa. 84 00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:14,010 You look old. 85 00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:16,850 Cool. 86 00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:18,990 Get up, bath wipe. It's my turn. 87 00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:21,130 Okay. 88 00:04:21,430 --> 00:04:23,750 Like, uh, this one hurt a bit or something. 89 00:04:29,950 --> 00:04:35,390 Check it out, dude. 90 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,180 I'm so smooth, I got a beard on my hands. 91 00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:40,660 Yeah. 92 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,460 These chicks must not like dudes or something. 93 00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:49,460 Relax, Beavis. 94 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,300 It's like they say, when you're gonna walk the walk, you gotta, uh, talk too. 95 00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:57,820 What's that supposed to mean? 96 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,640 We gotta hit on the chicks, Ass Munch. 97 00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,400 Otherwise, they'll think we're, like, all looks. 98 00:05:09,670 --> 00:05:10,670 Hey, baby. 99 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:14,610 Hey, 100 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:15,930 baby. 101 00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:18,550 Check out my hands. 102 00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:21,630 Yeah. Damn, we're smooth. 103 00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:27,350 Wanna, like, stroke my beard? 104 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:30,730 Yeah. 105 00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:31,970 Stroke it. 106 00:05:32,510 --> 00:05:35,170 We're gonna call the cops if y 'all don't leave us alone. 107 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:37,770 That's fucked. 108 00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:40,730 Yeah. Whoa. 109 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,850 Check out those chicks over there. 110 00:05:45,790 --> 00:05:47,950 Hey, baby. 111 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:50,750 Hey, baby. 112 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:51,950 Yeah. 113 00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:54,570 What's that crap all over you? 114 00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:57,870 It's like our beards. 115 00:05:58,630 --> 00:06:00,590 Yeah. Damn, we're smooth. 116 00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:04,730 Those aren't beards. You just glued some hair on your faces. 117 00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:09,830 Don't you know that beards went out in, like, the 80s? Uh, look. Do you chicks 118 00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:11,950 want to make out or do you just want to play games? 119 00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:18,270 Why don't you boys lose the beards, cut back on the wanking, and try us again 120 00:06:18,270 --> 00:06:19,270 in, like, ten years? 121 00:06:21,510 --> 00:06:22,510 Yes! 122 00:06:24,310 --> 00:06:25,550 Um, hey, buddy. 123 00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:27,610 How'd they know we've been whacking? 124 00:06:32,270 --> 00:06:33,830 Hey, that's too close. Back off. 125 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,800 Yeah. 126 00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:37,780 Hey, 127 00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:43,300 buddy. You think these guys are European? 128 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,880 You're a peon. I'm a peon. Everybody's a peon. 129 00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:50,460 It's like, we got enough crap over here in this country. 130 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,880 Why do we need to go to Europe to get more? 131 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,040 Yeah, yeah, really. That's a good point. 132 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,880 I mean, you know, I want to watch something that's like a piece of crap. 133 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:05,200 It's like, you know, I'll just watch it right here. You know what I'm saying? 134 00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:07,700 We're trying to act like you're smart, Viva. 135 00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:10,980 Dumbass. 136 00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:17,590 He bought it. 137 00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:19,370 Ace of Bates sucks. 138 00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:23,770 This isn't Ace of Bates, Viva. I know. 139 00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:25,870 I just felt like saying Ace of Bates sucks. 140 00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:30,110 I mean, these guys suck too, but you know, like, Ace of Bates, ooh, they 141 00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:32,149 Like, 142 00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:40,530 in 143 00:07:40,530 --> 00:07:42,350 this video, there's really like nothing going on. 144 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,940 They might as well just, like, play the song on the radio. 145 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,840 Yeah, then you could just, like, turn the radio off. 146 00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:51,040 Oh, yeah, hey, then it'd be even better. 147 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:56,280 If it was, like, just the chick and the music, you know, that part would be all 148 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,280 right. 149 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:00,320 Hurry up, dude. 150 00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:02,740 We've got to look good for those chicks in ten years. 151 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,020 Yeah, beards went out in the 80s. 152 00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:07,340 Yeah. 153 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:09,440 I know it's in here somewhere. 154 00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:13,470 Okay, like, uh, hold still and, like, don't move. 155 00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:16,270 Yeah. Here we go. 156 00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:22,310 You half -wife. 157 00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:25,330 Whoa. You look really cool now. 158 00:08:26,570 --> 00:08:27,570 Damn, you're smooth. 159 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:33,709 Yeah, yeah. 160 00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,870 Da -da. Da -da -da -da. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 161 00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:40,539 You see that chicks flying all over each other? Yeah. 162 00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,039 Fight, fight. 163 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,740 Whoa. Check this out, buddy. 164 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,160 It's like, it starts out pretty cool, and it's like, it starts rocking more 165 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,780 more. Watch, watch. Check it out. Here it comes. 166 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,280 Okay. Yeah, it's right here. It's right here. Here it comes. 167 00:08:56,100 --> 00:09:00,360 I get the point, Beaver. 168 00:09:01,980 --> 00:09:03,900 Will you shut up so I can hear it? Yeah. 169 00:09:16,159 --> 00:09:20,780 I think that's, like, one of those beds that, like, folds into a couch. Oh, 170 00:09:20,780 --> 00:09:21,780 yeah, yeah. 171 00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:25,420 How come he sold it? 172 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,780 Because he probably got, like, a big bed, so he didn't need it anymore. 173 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:29,539 Oh, yeah. 174 00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:32,360 Maybe he got tired of, like, people, like, just crashing in his house and 175 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,620 sleeping on it. So he sold it. 176 00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:36,930 And then it's like, you wrote a cool song about it. 177 00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:39,270 Oh, my fault, John. 178 00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:40,790 Yeah. 179 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,570 And then you had a bunch of fights happen in the video. 180 00:09:43,890 --> 00:09:46,370 Yeah. Yeah, come on. You want to do something about it? You think you're 181 00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:47,690 Come on, let's go. Come on, right now. 182 00:09:48,270 --> 00:09:51,190 I don't think there's anybody on TV that you could kick ass on. 183 00:09:51,770 --> 00:09:55,370 Except for, like, maybe Urkel. I don't know about it. 184 00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:56,770 Urkel's pretty big now. 185 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,670 He's like 6 '7 or something. 12077