Original subtitles

There is a sun scorching in the sky

White Label, Chivas, Long John

Spanish whiskey DYC sucks

the best is White Horse.

Crap! But how hot!

My name is Bill Golden pistols

My horse is Silver Away!

I cross all the West

killing people but.

I love girls

That I find on my way.

I hate gunmen

who live a long time outside the law.

And this is how you count the history from"East to West".

It's gas-free!

Crap!

And this is how you tells the story of

"East to West".

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

- Good morning, stranger. - Good morning.

Are you leaving the village?

Yes, we are going to Germany.

This village It is not safe.

I know it's dangerous ask in the West.

But why?

Two rival gangs eat city almost daily.

They get drunk and there are shootings in the saloon.

Oh. The lack of public security.

Be that as it may, we are leaving.

If I were you, I would turn around and leave.

Today Both groups will be at city and there will be problems.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye, friend.

Giddyup!

Calm down...

Come here!

Go inside!

They are here!

CLOSED DUE TO LACK PUBLIC SAFETY

Why everyone Are you leaving?

I know! They ran out of sodas!

Run, son!

Done! This week, the door can survive!

Will the sheriff do something?

No, Martha. But what can we do?

We have to do something!

And we are doing something!

Shut up!

No, dear father! They must know!

Tell them!

Very good!

Have you ever heard of Bill Golden pistols?

Of course.

He is not a terrible gunslinger?

Yes, he is the fastest of the North of Amazonas.

I wrote to him and asked him

bring order to this village.

It's not like doing justice to our own hands?

Yes, but no we have another option.

The Government in Washington He's not listening to us.

We asked several times for a Marshal,

but they ignored us.

- What did the gunman say? - He's coming.

But he will arrive incognito.

This will make our life easier.

And how much will this cost? This hired killer?

He will fix the price once he gets here.

We will have to pay in dollars or in kind.

To pay in cash?

Well, cattle, land...

Or something else...

Oh, I don't like that!

Our sheriff must enforce the law.

But whenever he senses difficulty

he finds an excuse.

Open the door, Margaret Rose. some one wants to come in.

All we know about Bill Golden Pistols

is, he smokes cigars small, long.

I have a box.

I will offer one to every stranger.

The one who takes it, will be him.

Hello, mayor.

I came here to resign.

and that is irrevocable!

Okay, sheriff.

Oh, no! I'm the ex-sheriff!

Do you understand?

And what's your reason this time?

Well, I wasn't sure if I

should discuss my big problem,

but my grandmother passed away and I I have to attend the funeral.

- Your grandmother must be very old. - That's why she died!

Let's get started then!

I, the city sheriff

elected by citizens for cause of my merits

because no other idiot wanted the job

I swear I resign due for family reasons.

And I, as mayor, swear that I accept your resignation.

Well I'm going to bed before

this bunch of animals appear.

Where's the way out, Adam?

How are you? Did you resign, sheriff?

No sheriff. "Former sheriff!"

This isn't right, Mr. Mayor!

What's the problem Now, Graves?

The tables!

I ordered three wagons of boards to make my coffins,

and nothing arrived!

How am I going to bury them? who will be killed today?

Don't be so cruel, Mr. Graves!

It's my job, ma'am. Nobody says anything when

your husband talks about your blacksmith shop.

Why are people so demanding, if something is

asked for , by the gravediggers?

Okay, Graves. Do the as much as you can. But everyone

who dies today must be buried.

And if you can't do this, we will take away your rights,

to exclusively carry out burials.

Very good. I have some leftovers.

If the dead count is are not very high, I can do it.

Here is Polonius!

The walking doctor introducing his famous elixir.

It's name is "The pleasure of the Prairies"!

Nothing...

Nothing. Not even a curious soul.

I'm not a racist...

but even the shitty Indians of know of it.

Just pay attention!

For cuts, nausea, gas and constipation

just use "The pleasure of the prairies"!

Nothing... nobody.

For sprained ankles! To make the floor shine!

Clean your clothes!

Clear your stomach! Clean glass and silver!

And whats more, It is colorless and does not stain!

Nothing!

Whoa!

Oh, that's good..

A customer!

You are lucky!

You are short, so I can make your coffin

with a few pieces of wood that I have left.

Paint it white. I I'm like a child.

Very good.

How many feet?

One... two. The right and the left.

I mean, your height...

With or without the hat?

You will get better with your hat.

7 feet, 2 inches

and three lengths of lice.

Good!

I suspect that this bastard

is from the tax department, and I I will receive a heavy fine.

water!

I will drink the whole trough!

- They're here! - What?

They must be men of peace.

The "Pleasure of the Prairies"!

The famous elixir!

Into the water!

You scoundrels!

This elixir...! Hey, what's going on?

Why are they so angry?

They don't even They didn’t even try it!

Drug!

Drug!

This city is shit!

Oh, damn!

They are crazy here!

- Whiskey for everyone! - Just a minute!

You must pay for these bottles.

Are you kidding with us, Stella?

I'm tired of everyone who drinks and don't pay...

Bad Milk!

This is the way it should be.

We are the bad ones and the bad ones never pay.

- From now on you do. - You keep dreaming.

Don't move!

OK dear.

If you were anyone else you would be dead now.

Okay...

There are 5 bottles...

Then $5.

Six, Bad Milk! Six!

- Six? - Five you're taking...

- And what you just broke! - But it was you who broke it!

But it was your fault!

Furthermore, money is not important to you.

They say you have a hidden treasure.

from all of your robberies!

So give me six dollars!

You are lucky, because you are half-naked,

it's worth the extra dollar.

Goodbye! Come on, boys!

In addition to ruining the walls

We now have a leaky roof.

There is nothing left, Mr Chapulin.

It's been like this since you and your friend Bad Milk

started to come here every 15 days.

Bad Milk is not my friend, sir.

Look at this anyway,

Mr Chapulin.

Just webs of spiders left.

This is bad for you, sir.

If we don't take nothing with us

then I lose face in in front of my boys.

And when that happens, I go crazy!

And when Chapulin is angry,

then I kill, You first!

I don't know what you take with you... could

OK, empty your pockets!

I like that! Now I I won't kill you, sir!

Chapulin doesn't kill! Because, If I kill everyone...

who could I steal next week?

Well, seeing so it's true.

But this is very little, Mr. First.

Come on, don't be shy!

Take off your beautiful clothes too!

Our clothes?

- Your clothes! - Okay, Okay!

You don't want to lose face!...

That's it!

Sons of bitches!

Take this!

Let's go!

Let's go quickly, my boys!

Let's get out of here!

Fortunately, I left the trough on time!

What a bunch of animals!

You almost cut my throat!

My hand was shaking with the shooting!

Sorry!

Well, okay.

Animals! They will destroy this city!

This is bad for tourism!

- Of course. - They broke my windows!

And you almost cut the doctor's jugular vein!

Look, Mayor, what have they done to us!

I see this, You're almost naked!

What a crisis! Just one dead!

These animals are Terrible shooters!

This is no joke, Mayor.

People take That's like fun!

But give me a lot of pain and respect!

Here I am...

Let's proceed.

You swear to respect and do comply with the law in this village

like a democrat sheriff appointed by decree?

Yes, I swear.

So here This is your badge!

But... what happened here?

Can't I leave you alone?

You all go to work!

Come on, start to move!

Let's do some cleaning.

Then we can meet in Stella's salon.

Archibald!

We have to talk, don't we?

Yes, but why not in the chapel?

Not in the chapel. Mrs. Trafford.

We can't swear inside the chapel.

Well you will go home now!

Madam...

Sons of bitches! They will end destroying the place.

Blackandecker! Blackandecker!

Where is my rifle?

Rifle left it there.

Thank you, Blackandecker.

What will it be?

A farmer.

No, I mean, What do you want to drink?

Are you an Indian?

No. I only seen a fantasy.

I thought you was a writer.

I mean, why cause of the penalty.

Nobody ever told me that.

- Whiskey! - Okay.

No, they are excrement of horses just stinky.

- Whiskey? - Yes.

Wait a minute.

You are Mojave, Cheyenne, Seminole, Comanche?

No.

My grandfather was from Albacete. I am Navajo.

Oh. I understand.

I wouldn't do it if I were you, stranger.

Why not, stranger?

It would have to serve me first.

I arrived first.

By the way...

what smell is that?

What brand of perfume What are you using?

Horse excrement savages of the caribbean!

That's obvious.

It seems like when the bullets they were whistling

you stuck your head in the wrong place.

I don't think this is funny, stranger.

But you must have been really very thirsty.

I saw you diving into the trough.

Two strangers!

Could one of them be Bill Golden Pistols?

Hah! This is very funny.

So I will buy you one.

Drink this!

I only drink what I pay for!

The fun is starting.

This time, you will drink what I tell you to drink!

It hurts my liver!

Well, well...

Drink! I'm starting to see red everywhere!

This is normal, all oxen are colorblind.

I don't talk to a dung eater!

You must be talking about your father!

No, yours!

From yours!

- You drink! - There's no whiskey!

Then lick the glass!

Your daddy can lick it!

Drink!

I don't understand...

This is strange...

This can only be resolved one way.

Yes, one way.

- They're going to draw their weapons! - They're going to kill each other!

Don't kill the little one!

I always burn my pants doing this performance!

He smokes one fine cigar.

The little one is like Clint Eastwood!

And the other one resembles to John Wayne.

One of them must be Bill Golden pistols.

We cannot allow them to kill each other!

Just a moment, gentlemen.

You didn't get a good reception, but it wasn't our fault.

- What's that smell? - Dung!

I saw him roll over on it while trying to escape the bullets.

I'm not stupid.

But they weren't shooting at you!

Yes, but being such bad shots they could have

hit him while trying to kill each other.

I just don't understand why you guys, didn't shoot back at them.

- I never carry weapons. - And neither do I.

Are you sure?

I have never, fired a gun.

I don't believe it. Give them some weapons!

Take mine, take mine.

Just a moment. I didn't do that!

Be careful, this you can shoot!

We need a target.

Have you ever noticed how heavy these weapons are?

I don't understand how they can shoot these things.

You don't understand! I can't....

hit a cart at 3 meters!

- I can't, it's two too. - Is there two meters?

No, I mean to 2 trailers!

You're worse than me!

So what are we doing here?

Well, I don't know.

Here!

See who gets it right first in the cups.

One moment, please!

My grandfather taught me this!

Hey, no!

One of them is the most famous gunslinger of the West!

- And the other one? - his assistant. Come...

To show that we trust them,

I will hold one of the glasses.

Dear Manitou, you are Indian,

like me that's why I love you and I give you my heart.

Okay, shoot!

One moment, I need my glasses!

What?

Tall and blind as a plaster coyote.

Hey, this has thousands of bullets.

- Just don't move. - Be careful.

Which way do I have to shoot?

Ready... fire!

Stop! That's enough!

Now I really I need a drink.

That was scary.

You did it very well. Very good.

Fucking gunmen!

Now I understand why they call you pale-faced people!

You are totally pale!

Really?

They did it on purpose to confuse us!

Well I need to locate my way to the bathroom.

This is an emergency!

Anything you want. Perfumes, oils, manicures...

The mayor told us take good care of both of you.

Hey, this is a nice gesture.

Do you always treat strangers like this?

No, but apparently you two are special.

- That's weird! - What?

You have rough hands.

This is not uncommon. I am a farmer.

I came to this city, because I....

I heard there's an old ranch for sale.

Yes, I am the owner. How do you know about it?

I heard that � Alamogordo.

You can see it tomorrow.

But you have money enough to buy it?

Not much, but if you accept some promissory notes...

We'll talk tomorrow. Come on, girls!

Let the big man finish your bath.

Later, Come eat downstairs.

Oh, and if you want something...

anything... Just call.

We want you be happy here.

What girl...

Huh? Who's there?

I'm going to scream for help!

Don't be afraid. I'm the mayor's daughter.

My name is Margaret Rose.

Oh! Margaret and Rose...

What a flowery name. But...

What are you doing on the roof?

I wanted talk to you.

But I'm ashamed. You're in the bathtub

with three women naughty and naked.

- Well, I... - No, don't leave!

Then you enter here. You may fall.

Don't worry.

People will see you.

Oh, you're right.

I wanted to thank you for coming here to help us.

Help, who?

Stop pretending.

I know you want to catch Bad Milk and Chapulin by surprise.

Bad Milk?

And Chapulin? He has a funny name.

Who are these two?

So why did you pretend that you don't know how to shoot.

oh yes, I did it on purpose.

Of course! That's why you didn't hit anyone!

So who did you confuse me with?

At first you fooled us. But now we know for sure.

You will bring back the law, order and justice.

Just a minute, Let's clear this up.

Don't leave the bathtub! This is so embarrassing!

Don't worry.

I always wear my pants in the bathtub.

So I can take advantage and I wash them too!

Oh! You scared me!

And now tell me...

Who do you think that I am,

other than an idiot who bathes with his clothes on?

You can stop pretending. You are a great gunslinger.

We know. And now, I'm leaving.

Don't leave! We can talk.

We could play cards

Ludo, bingo, anything you want.

I don't know... with just you in this room...

what are you going think of me?

What do you do you expect me to think?

That I'm crazy!

Are you crazy? No way!

You must be crazy to think of something like that!

And I'm dressed! What would you think

of me if I took off my dress?

Taking off your dress it would be the natural thing to do.

With this boiling water, the steam is hot and...

Well, if that's what do you think I should do...!

Why are you naked?

Well I am very innocent

and you should take off the rest of your clothes

I think you're still suffering from the heat.

Yes, I still am suffering from the heat.

Do you see?

If you were undress

in honor of my gunslinger.

Oh, slip of the tongue.

Look? You are Bill Golden pistols!

You are the man who killed Pat Garrett and Liberty Valance

and Billy the Kid!

Me killing a pair of tits?

I mean, I'm killing a child?

No way, I couldn't do that!

It's hot here.

I don't know how you can keep your clothes on.

True. So, you have

I'm sure you won't take this the wrong way?

I mean, taking off my clothes.

No, not in everything. In fact,

I think there are still some clothes .

Come on, it's good and take them off!

By my weapons, I I'm feeling the heat too!

I'm leaving the stockings,

because I would never take them off in front of a man.

Well done!

You need keep something on so

I can remove it with my teeth!

Hey, you're soaking wet...

Of course, I just left the bathtub!

The problem is that my pants are stuck!

Right away, do it with your pants!

Let's see how quickly you can draw your weapon!

Wait, wait... I think it got stuck!

Look, Blackandecker. That's a man!

He is a real gunslinger!

How do you know this?

By the way he looks at you!

He's hard, fast,

I don't know anything about that.

But your vision is worse than a myopic crocodile.

Good evening.

Look, everyones showing their buttocks!

Was the water hot?

Yes, thank you. And look, the smell is gone!

I smell like a baby.

- I smell perfume. - Your girls gave it to me.

We were told to be at your service, sir...

Polenius Horace Plato.

- Pollonium? - Yes!

Don't touch me!

What a name!

My father got it this by reading books

certain subjects referred to as "classics".

Go away!

Do you want a drink?

Ehmmm...

See you... I only drink my magic elixir.

What is it made of?

I mix some leaves of crushed coca

with some stalks boiled.

It's very encouraging.

I think I'll call her of Coca Cola or...

maybe I'll try a name different, like Mirinda.

So... Polonius.

Yup.

Could be your name Bill Golden pistols?

I? What a ridiculous name. No way.

Stop pretending... gunslinger!

We know you are this famous bounty hunter.

I? A gunslinger? Please don't make me laugh!

- Who told you that? - The Mayor.

That's why we are giving you whatever you want.

Anything...

and free of charge.

Just a moment.

So, since you think that I am... the one...

OK then.

I wanted to stay unnoticed, but...

my fame precedes me.

It's just the bottle.

Look. Here comes the other one.

Let's go.

Good evening. All good?

Yes, all good.

Oh, you mean...? Yes, everything ok.

I am happy.

My girls Were they good for you?

Your girls?

Oh yes. But the naive one is the best.

This guy had lots of fun.

Do you want a drink?

Do you have skimmed milk? I don't want to gain weight.

Hello, stranger.

Hello, Dolly.

More greetings.

How does a woman like you become a farm owner?

An 80 year old friend left it to me.

He wanted to abuse of my innocence,

but two of my girls killed him.

Shit!

Blackandecker will take you there tomorrow

if you are interested.

This thing?

I think it's the top.

Yes, the other one seems very fragile.

Where the shooter's hand does not reach, his weapon will.

I think a scorpion is more dangerous than a coyote.

Let's not philosophize.

Of course one of them It must be the gunman.

Let's interrogate both.

But who is the gunman, It's whoever remains anonymous.

Let's interrogate both,

but we must do it discreetly.

- Good evening, strangers. - Good evening, Mr. Mayor.

Good evening, gentlemen.

And thank you very much for your kindness.

Oh, and also for the naive one. Well, you don't know about that.

That's the way we deal with strangers around here.

- Tourism brings wealth. - And security.

Okay, don't overdo it.

Who would like to play a game of poker?

I played eleven hours,

when I was a child and I lost, so no.

- If the bets are small... - It's not very big.

Just to kill time.

Sorry.

That's it...

When I hear the word "kill"

my hand wants to shoot.

Did I say "shoot"?

Say one more word and I will shoot!

Relax! Relax...

Stella, bring us some drinks.

Yes, please do that. Okay, everyone relax...

Tomorrow you go to the ranch with this newbie.

He must have a good impression.

He will. It will look like a palace.

How, Stella!

Which game will you choose?

Five high No joker.

How are we going to play?

So, let's not play with beans

How do we play "mus"?

No. And there is a betting limit.

Don't clean the farmer. He must buy my ranch.

Sit down, gentlemen.

Let's see who deals.

Our! It's very skillful.

I deal.

So this game It's with cards.

I open with $2.

I'll borrow one and we will pay it back later.

Me too.

Waht a great hand!

Look! They are all consecutive!

You should see mine!

- How many cards? -3.

Two.

I will pass.

Peterson! We all have to play!

Okay, in that case...

Give me four.

I'll give you 4!

I? I am ok.

Two more dollars.

Huh?

Let me open the safe.

I'll see that.

I will ask someone and we will

resolve later. OK?

I raise to 5.

I'll see.

Me too.

At this rate I don't have any money for the ranch.

The flush! Look, all of them in one line...

Well, you beat me.

- Beat me. - And me too.

You're in luck.

Yes, he won now, but next time is it my turn?

- You can count on that. - If you have good cards.

That's what I meant.

I'm playing cards very lucky.

I also hope you have lucky with women.

This seems to be the case, from today.

$5.

"I will"

Me too.

I'm winning.

How many?

I'm ok.

This is fun.

Three.

One.

Two for me.

Two.

$2.

$5 more!

$5.

What do you have?

All the same color!

He beats me!

And me too.

I knew!

That's a bad start.

- And now...! - Just a moment, colonist!

All cards they are red.

But they are not of the same suit. Look!

Oh well. We accept letters of the same color in this game.

- Did you see it? - Wait a moment!

I hope the rule apply to all of us!

This is serious, gentlemen!

Of course she applies to everyone.

Okay then. That's good.

Whose turn is it now?

I will buy two farms!

How many cards?

Two for me.

Three for me.

You speak, colonist.

This is the last hand, right?

Yes.

So I open with $25.

- $25? - That's your right.

Hey, I already lost $150.

And I lost $130!

Okay. I call your bet.

Me too.

Me too.

There's my $25!

What do you have?

Royal flush!

Pair of Aces!

Three aces!

Three aces?

Yes, look!

There are six aces as a whole?

Yes. Here we play with six aces!

In fact, with 10. I have aces poker.

No, with 14.

I also have four aces.

You guys play a stranger kind of poker around here!

Yes. It is a regional variation.

So what Let's do it then?

We both have 4 aces each.

So you share the money like good friends!

So you divided, Pollonium.

This pile is for me.

This stack is for you.

This big pile is for me.

- This is for you. - This village is very friendly.

I think I will be very happy here.

Kind people, money...

Beautiful women, naive...

Well... I mean...

It's a pleasant environment.

You deserve this.

But we need someone, any of you

become the peacemaker.

I don't know, maybe someone...

with tiring glasses help you.

And now, good night.

I need to wake up early to see this ranch.

If you like it,

so just pay me and you can you keep it.

Let's see. Let's see.

Well. In trust...

You are very kind.

But you have no idea how to play poker!

What do we we have to listen!

Bunch of idiots!

Hey, let's buy drinks for everyone!

Indian! You come here!

I think they realized that We want to buy their services.

Only one is true Bill Golden pistols.

Who is the other, could it be that is taking advantage of us.

Everything went well.

But Mr. First almost ruined it.

We had to give them good cards, but you went overboard!

Well, since I I'm a banker

if I can four aces i

we transpose them by 100,000!

I want a pair of jeans.

These are the best. They are indestructible.

Let's see.

Okay, I'll buy them.

They are the best pants jeans I've ever owned.

How much do I owe?

It's $2.

They are resilient.

And very cool too.

Just slow down!

There is still a long way to go?

When on the prairie the coyote howls

on the third moon, pale faces will see.

Cut the bullshit!

- Two hours. - Then speak clearly, dammit!

I prefer my car than riding a horse.

And I have one big boil...

Where?

Where do you think?

And why did you come why didn't you stay in the town?

Why did you ask me to come?.

We're getting close.

Excuse me, but

when I see the way that you ride

I don't think you be a gunslinger.

The boil affects my horse riding

but you don't look like Buffalo Bill.

- Do you see the brush? - Yes! Is it just behind there?

- No! Do you see the stones? - Yes! Is it behind the rocks?

No. � 1 hour and 45 minutes behind the rocks.

Damn Indian!

We should have taken a shortcut!

And this is the ranch?

- This is the ranch. - Holy...!

The soil does not looks very good.

It's good.

You will see.

Furthermore, Manitou, the God of the Prairies protects.

Manitou or not, if you plant one

tomato here you there will be a lizard!

At least it has a wide parking.

What is he singing?

He is behaving like an Indian.

I'm summoning the great Manitou to show us your power!

Will do it to � Euro vision.

It's incredible that in today's times who already invented the concordance

and with boiled cabbage already invented

can still be found superstitious people.

Of course. Who will believe in this nonsense?

You dig here.

I'll do it.

I planted one potato a month ago

as a test.

But nothing will grow in a month!

You dig, by Manitou!

OK, let's get this out of the way!

It's not possible. Cold, cold cold.

- What does he say? - He says "cold, cold".

move a bit to the right.

Hot, hot, hot!

He says "hot, hot"!

- It's burning! - Here!

There's something here!

I will help you!

Here it is!

Huh?

Great Manitou good for pale guys

In a month, a potato turned into 2.5 kg.

Strange potatoes! They come in a bag!

Yes, strange! This looks like a supermarket!

Look! Even fries!

They're from Manitou's father!

The great boss Matutano.

Hey, Indian. I don't know if your skin is red

but you definitely have a cheek!

Me, servant of great Manitou...

And also from Miss. Stella.

I dig to bury potatoes with sack

to deceive you. I am smart.

She is smart, this Stella!

Yes, she wants to sell me a piece of desert,

as if it were agricultural land.

What is this?

Blackandecker!

What!

Come back to the city!

Chapulin kidnapped the mayor's daughter!

We will go when I finish singing!

No, Mayor.

This time, my Grandfather didn't die.

My parents are getting married and I want to watch the wedding.

Take this coward though!

Come here, sheriff!

I, sheriff... I want to say

'Former sheriff' of this city

I'm handing over my Irrevocable resignation!

- As usual, I accept. - Okay, goodbye!

Oh, this damn thing colon again!

We have to do something.

We can organize a posse, Yankee style!

She's right! I go!

She is my daughter!

Who's coming with me?

I can't leave the bank.

Someone must take care from the cobwebs!

I would like to go

but I still I need to shave!

I should go get some boards to make coffins!

I can't go. I am the doctor and

I have to take care from the sheriff's colitis!

Don't worry!

Here come the saviors of my daughter!

Relax, we're here!

Don't go without us!

You two seem so bold!

What happened?

Chapulin's gang kidnapped my daughter!

They want a ransom!

But I'm afraid that this rascal wants something more!

This is easy to resolve. Isn't that right, Mr. Gunslinger?

Am I a gunslinger? No, you are the gunslinger!

I? No way!

But I'm going anyway.

Let's see. How many in the detachment?

You two!

The Blackandecker Indian will be your guide.

How brave!

Wait a minute. It doesn't smell good!

- Is no one else coming? - No, sir.

Everyone claims having a right to vote

but when we we face the danger

everyone hides

and I'm the first.

Let's see. We three.

Well, both of us and Mr. Rogelia

what can we do against these bandits?

You can start planting potatoes, if you want!

Polonius is a great man and goes to rescue that girl!

She is not even even a relative of mine!

You go, Polonius!

If you want to share with me the salon and the hotel

and stop being a salesman Coca-Cola vendor

you must bring back Margaret Rose is safe.

And you will too!

Otherwise, I will tell everyone

the type of visitor who had it last night!

don't be like that...

Hey, I was thinking in going anyway!

We don't even We have weapons!

- Get some weapons! - Here are mine!

Ladies and gentlemen

let's bring this girl back safe and sound

or we'll die trying!

We are going to die.

You will die.

This goes for all of you!

He reminds me of Paquirri, the bullfighter!

Stop shooting, man!

Why do we leave the horses so far away?

We are tracking for an hour!

The Navajo says that he is following.

He is smelling something strange?

No, he is smelling a woman.

Well, I mean women.

Well, the most beautiful to me.

But I thought we were tracking a single.

I don't know.

He is the guide, so let's follow him.

Why do we stop now?

He must be looking for a better trail.

Good! My feet hurt!

Nothing important.

They're just buffaloes.

You camp at two kilometers from here.

I stay here tonight to continue investigating.

Allow me, it has been a long time since...

It's not important! It's not worth it!

It's been a long time since I saw a buffalo.

This damn Indian!

The Indian is right. It's just buffaloes.

Furthermore, there are some buffaloes.

Well, more than one.

And with a good pair of...!

With horns.

Polonius, you're going to camp at 12 kilometers away from here.

I'll stay with the Indian in case he gets lost.

Hey, these buffaloes have a funny moo.

Let me see, they just moo

in this way, when they are in heat.

Let's see.

Yes, they are buffaloes!

You don't play very nice.

I don't want bother you, as you're

so taken by Miss. Stella.

You just wanted to share with the girls this filthy Navajo.

So what Shall we do it now?

We have to think a lot about it.

This decision cannot be taken lightly.

The first to arrive, It's the first to be served!

Calm down, ladies!

We came to save everyone from drowning!

I'll take what It's not racist!

Don't worry, we are honest people.

Damn! The 7th Cavalry has arrived!

Don't shoot!

If you move I will shoot.

And can you imagine where am I going to point!

And all of you, put on some clothes!

We won't tempt them!

I'm sorry, Sergeant.

We can talk more democratically?

You only have let them leave!

Otherwise, I'm going to have to shoot...

Yes! We can guess where!

You see, we...

we thought that the girls were drowning.

Yes, drowning!

With soap and washers?

My father drowned in a bidet.

Okay, get lost!

Do you know about Chapulin?

That Mexican animal?

I think he is in the village

nearby, just a few kilometers from here.

We are looking for him.

He kidnapped his daughter Mayor of Towermill.

- We're going to rescue her. - Who, you?

Do you think Is this funny?

She is laughing at the Indian.

Poor girl.

We are all going

to work in the salon Stella's in Towermills.

Do you know Stella?

Yes, we are very good friends.

Very good friends, in fact.

It's getting late.

She must have a watch hanging from that tree.

You can sleep with us.

We will have dinner and tomorrow you can

go after Chapulin that pig.

OK?

This will be a great night!

- It was a great dinner. - A little more coffee?

No thanks, I won't sleep.

So you are dancers or...?

Poor girls, so naive!

Yes, too we are dancers.

Aahhh, let's say They are women of the night.

Yes, women of life...

Something like this.

You must be tired.

Two girls go to sleep under the cart.

And three more in interior of the truck.

I'm more used to sleeping "under".

Fortunately I I don't stink anymore.

I prefer be on top.

I mean, inside the wagon.

No!

You will all sleep near the fire.

Well, we thought that the girls

could be with fear of animals...

They know that I am watching from my tent.

Go to sleep! Tomorrow will be a long day.

Goodnight.

Are they leaving?

My girls they are decent.

And when they aren't, they charge.

And if they charge, I get 1/3.

We are so broken like a thief

before the day of payment.

In that case, see you tomorrow.

Come here.

Let's bet to see?

Okay, let's see who is the lucky one.

OK. face up, crown down.

Face. Up.

OK.

Stay vigilant while we do our duty.

Pale faces always thinking about the same thing.

Just like an Indian!

He's so handsome!

Indian! Where are your friends?

They went to watch the evening news.

I mean, the girls.

Well, you three.

And I get 1/3.

So... come inside.

Oh! Indian is lucky.

Of course, I am getting the worst part.

You speak after receive your commission!

Between!

There's a lot of dust falling in my head!

Indians! Indians!

No, not Indian!

This is how the true west was.

But they never they said in the movies!

If I go to Manitou,

I will die with my moccasins on!

Good girls.

Yes, and hot!

They're like schoolgirls when compared to your boss.

My dark circles are reaching my navel.

Now we have to go for Palo Gordo to rescue

Margaret Rose from those bandits.

I don't see you qualified to accomplish.

Well...

I saw Richard Widmark doing this often.

And he made it big!

But Richard very Richard!

Goodbye!

Goodbye!

Let's go!

Good morning. Good morning!

You speak Spanish very well.

That's what people who don't Spanish speakers always say.

That's why I say it like this, I don't speak Spanish.

These are people's words who like to speak Spanish.

And I know many more words.

These Mexican hats They are a real pain!

And now...

we have to do something.

Margaret Rose must be trapped nearby.

Let's split up and look for her.

Are you here? I can hear you,

but I can't see it.

Let's go.

Fortunately, we we are in the square

and not in a telephone booth.

Miss, this is not good!

My men told me that He is refusing to eat.

Do you realize that if you lose weight, Will you be worth less?

- I want to be free. - Free? Hah!

That's nonsense, girl!

You could live here like a queen,

if you were more nice with Chapulin. I!

Leave me alone!

And now you will see!

You are so beautiful!

No! Where is my savior?

Holy!

These guys with Spanish blood are

always doing the same thing.

She's Margaret Rose!

Oh, my Chapulin!

She is devouring him!

Hey, lady. You are a student or work?

- Hey, Polonius! - What?

Come! She's there!

Chapulin is raping her!

Well, let's wait until it ends.

It wouldn't be polite interrupt him.

Let's go!

Take a walk! She's hot...

- Where is the Indian? - Right there.

No...

I'm Indian... from here.

Me from Bombay.

I will also be Indian.

But... if you are not Navajo,

nor Comanche

and not Seminole

so how Are you an Indian?

And if you are not from India, So why are you Indian?

I don't know.

Life is full of surprises.

They are calling you.

Sheba will protect you.

May Manitou understand you.

I've never seen bigger diapers in my life.

She is in a room at Rosita's hotel.

But Chapulin's gang It's there too!

You won't be afraid now famous gunslinger?

- Me, a gunman? - Yes!

Cut that one!

I was about to get it and you...

How! You Did you find the girl?

Yes! She's in bed with Chapulin.

This girl is a real man-eater!

No! It's strength.

So, poor Chapulin.

No. She is the only one that is being forced.

Didn't he understand?

Since he Dress like a Mexican

that he forgot who is an Indian.

If we continue

wasting time he will have finished when we arrive.

We won't have a fight in the west. I know.

Are you sure she's here?

Yes definitely. In a room there.

They are awesome. They will beat us.

Let's speak Spanish to be friendly.

How to say in Spanish "Nice to meet you"?

I think it's...

"All of you are one bunch of cuckolds!”

Very good.

You are all one bunch of cuckolds!

They don't look like they like us.

It's a pain when they don't understand our language.

Tell them they are very friendly.

And how do you say that?

Wait, let me think.

Yes! Tell them...

"And also...

you are one bunch of pussies! "

And you are too a bunch of pussies!

Why do you call my men "sissy"?

There's this one, Chapulin.

There is something good about me Could you tell him?

This never fails.

Hey you are the greatest sissy of all!

He will be grateful for that.

And you are the greatest sissy of all!

I?

Am I a sissy?

I!

Yes, of course.

What a punch!

This started badly.

Why did he hit me?

I tell him something good and...

because it was something good, wasn't it?

Indian, let's go out.

These gentlemen have some topics to discuss.

And I better review the dictionary.

I may have used wrong words.

Grab them! I want them alive!

- Good afternoon and goodbye. - Goodbye.

Calm! What do they what are you going to do with him?

Wait! I Navajo!

Damn!

I can't see. Where is he?

He doesn't know that I I'm a red belt.

Villain! You are a villain!

What did you say?

You pulled all my wisdom teeth at once!

Just a minute!

Let's solve this!

Look at the two glasses!

And now, pay attention!

They are wilder than the foreigners!

Your balanced!

Why don't we talk,

sitting on these stools...

Here they are two flags!

My dear!

Stay away from her!

And you were running away with him?

The Navajo Indian invented the low blow.

Mother of God!

Beat these guys It's hard work!

Coming down...!

My cheeks hurt!

Are you sure that I told them nice things?

Yes.

But they are always angry about

because of your Spanish ancestry.

And now, let's rescue Margaret Rose!

Your language is out.

If you find something soft and

red on the floor, don't step on it.

That would be my liver.

From now on I can only eat baby food.

You made things easier for me, Chapulin.

I'll take her and ask for ransom, then she will be mine.

Also, the guy in black?

Half of west will have it!

Save me, Joe!

That girl is mine, Bad Milk!

She was yours. Now she is mine.

Pay attention!

We will shoot anyone one that tries to follow us!

Come on, boys!

Joe!

Come!

Help me, Joe! Please!

We left through the back door. The horse is there.

Get up! You are heavy!

My cheeks hurt!

I don't feel more mine.

You still have them.

Of course I have.

This will not be the end.

I will kill them all!

All of you! On your horses!

It's refreshing!

Amazing how many times they beat us.

The Black! Are they far away?

About 20 minutes!

This I know.

I'm asking how far away.

I'll find out.

I thought the Indian scouts they put their ears to the ground.

No.

The grass can get in in my ear.

- Shhh! Still! - What it was?

Seven men follow us.

One of them is Chapulin.

Four brown horses.

A black one.

And two brown ones.

Do you know what horse hair,

listening to the your gallops?

Go pull your leg from someone else!

I don't hear horses.

I see them...

If I don't kneel

the bushes block my vision.

How!

Let's go. We must hide from them.

Let's go to my tribe and hide there.

My bubble it just exploded!

Wait for me!

Here you get more out of it than not army, how!

You put these clothes.

Chapulin and his gang are about to arrive.

These clothes are they clean?

Don't be picky! This That's all I found!

Oh...

He is your father.

This is your tent.

When they are dress, go out.

Everything fixed!

My tribe will protect us.

My grandfather, the Navajo chief, offers help.

He will not betray us.

I talk a lot for an Indian.

That must have lice.

But they are big reserve lice.

Navajo Grand Chief Seven Springs.

Leave your horse rest and come

smoking a pipe peace with us.

I bring gifts for you,

great Navajo chief.

- Did you bring fire water? - Of course, man!

I brought one bottle of tequila.

Good, but I prefer liquor of dried fennel.

Organize peace ceremony!

Ready for start the ceremony.

I'm ready.

Romina Power wall with this wig.

And with so many feathers I could work for Parker pens!

Good fantasy.

The feathers are the best.

You sit in the circle.

Me too?

No. Not you.

Women don't smoke peace pipe.

So I am a woman?

Yes. Unable to find men's suit in your size.

It's funny.

You are his daughter.

You respect him and obeys.

And what is my name?

Invent something. Let's go!

My name will be Left-wing sorcerer.

Our Big Friend Hat brings us

gifts and a message.

Let's listen.

Chapulin friend of the Navajo Indians!

Chapulin brings water fire to heat

throats of warriors!

In return I ask for help to capture bandits I'm chasing!

There are no strangers this night in my tribe.

I swear by Manitou!

Now let's smoke peace pipe.

Later, you spend the night here.

This beast is looking at me.

He is Taurus, a sleeping fierce warrior.

Why does he look to me like this?

You're in luck. I think he liked you.

I also have to suck that shit?

Everyone does.

If Chapulin doesn't were here

I didn't suck this shit!

If the Mexicans weren't here

I didn't dress like a young lady.

See how the Indians Do you smoke together?

Soft leaves?

No.

dry buffalo feces

mixed with goat hair.

Low in nicotine.

You can smoke without sucking?

Of course.

You could have told me earlier. I've already licked everyone's saliva.

The guy with the horns scared me!

He liked you.

He wants to buy it and then marry you.

But you won't Sell me, will you?

Well, everything depends on the price.

You respond to her daughter's husband.

I?

- But in Navajo? - Yes, completely in Navajo.

I will surprise these guys.

I, Wizard of the Left, tell you...

You were sold, sweetheart.

No way! I refuse!

In my tribe the women have no rights,

So shut up!

Go, Flower of the Prairies.

Hey, wait a minute.

How could I marry an Indian?

It will probably be a civil marriage.

I want to be the groom's best man.

This is going to be shit!

You also have to put a cloth there

white to taste who is a virgin.

Hey friends, Let's have a drink.

The Indians are going to celebrate the ceremony.

Let's go to sleep.

Tomorrow we have to keep up with these idiots.

And also Bad Milk.

Let's go!

Pollonium, This guy is very strong.

And if he wants to make me a mother, he will succeed!

You wouldn't be the first. You can even have fun.

Father! I will strangle you!

Don't kill me, daughter!

Just a moment.

You and the Indian go out and take some stakes.

I will push you, and when you feel your

head on the canvas you hit him hard!

Poor Taurus. He is so in love with you.

What do you mean in love with me?

The Bull wants his cow.

I mean, your fiancée.

And I'm not ready...

I hand it to him.

sleeping bull, Here is my girl.

- She's a little fat... - Oh, come on daddy...!

but she is the girl most beautiful of the tribe.

I'm not losing a daughter. I'm getting a Taurus!

Tell grandma to go to bed. We have work to do.

Go away, grandma!

Don't go so fast. You will be disappointed.

Place your hand in place!

You will catch something Don't wait!

If you see a bulge, reach.

What if it's Joe?

Hit it anyway, Just to be safe.

There goes Romina Power.

You are so impatient!

Come here, darling. Put your head here.

Careful, it's me!

Don't put your hand there. She's going to bring trouble!

Uh, that hurts!

Sorry...

Put me down, baby. That's it.

Come with me. Come...

Get out there!

Ready!

It's a miracle that I'm keeping

so much my head and my virginity.

Take off your hat, my king.

That's it. And now let's dance.

Now!

Does this work?

Repeat!

Oh, Manitou, Manitou...

And now?

Let's do this again, Just in case.

You almost broke my skull.

There is no time.

Sleepy Bull will wake up soon!

- Are you still a virgin? - Just by chance.

But you guys hit me!

Okay Prairie Flower. Where are we going?

Let's go to the Stella's ranch.

We can work there in a plan of attack!

We can't go back to city, without the girl.

That damn wig!

It's the men by Bad Milk!

What are they doing at Stella's ranch?

Bad Milk wants to buy Stella's ranch.

- Why? - Indian doesn't know.

If Bad Milk is there

will also be Margaret Rose.

We'll find out.

Once again?

I will become the most beautiful woman raped all over the west!

I don't care anymore!

Do with me what you want, you are a bad man!

Get up!

Huh? This time is it standing up?

At least You are innovative.

- What position? - Stay away!

Here is my treasure!

This is from several years of robberies and looting.

Who could find you in an abandoned ranch?

Why do you show me?

Maybe you and I could go to Switzerland.

We can put this in a bank Switzerland and live like royalty.

I don't know. Things strange are

happening with me lately.

And if later you don't like me?

Are you in favor of relationships? sexual relations before marriage?

Well, I need to be sure. I'm not going to walk a tightrope.

And if I'm not being often raped

I don't receive any motivation.

Well, if that's why, let's go...

No! No! No!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh, Bad Milk..!

Oh yes! This way!

- Again? - We have to save her!

No. I think we should save the bad guy.

Look. Bad Milk's treasure.

That's why he wanted buy Stella's ranch.

Let's go.

No, I want to see how it ends.

They can see us.

I want to copy the this man's style!

- I like! I like! - You are an immoral pig! Let's go!

This way, quickly.

We have to do something.

We must enter, rescue the girl,

take the money and return to the city.

Yes, and so can we take a balloon ride!

You stay here. I have an idea.

You great gunslinger. Why do you let him go alone?

Am I a gunslinger? I just pretended to be

one for impress Stella.

But I get dizzy if I see a bullet.

If none of you are Bill Golden Pistols

Indian is in trouble.

Let me help you I also have an idea.

Stop! What do you want?

I bring the news telephone directories.

Who's there?

A guy with news phone lists!

- Is he armed? - I have a can opener.

No!

- Let him in! - OK, go.

I bring the new telephone directories...

- Is the boss here? - He's busy now.

Don't worry, I'll wait inside.

Hello.

Which way?

It's right.

This is very clean when considering

that we are in the desert.

Could the holder sign this for me, please?

He can't be bothered. He's very busy.

Busy... yes, for sure.

What's all the noise?

This guy is asking for you.

- Is he armed? - No, Steve already searched him.

What do you want? We are busy.

I brought the news telephone directories.

OK, give him the old ones.

- Which are the old ones? - Damn! There is no telephone here!

This volume of yellow pages He still carries a gun!

Everyone put hands up!

We are in a trap.

If anyone speaks, I I'm going to kill the boss.

Drop your weapons!

It was a trap. Drop your weapons!

Listen to this dwarf.

Don't call me that name or you will regret it!

Margaret Rose!

Come on, you've been saved!

This has no end. Up, down, in, out...

And now you. Tie each other.

Bad Milk, take off your clothes!

He just got dressed.

Cover up, you slut!

Go to the room and bring the treasure chest.

OK. OK. What a busy life.

Start stripping down.

Don't be shy, until the Indian saw you naked.

Good morning, brothers.

He doesn't mean "how", but

yes "keep away all bad thoughts from your mind."

OK. So, the What do you want?

We came to get the Bad Milk brother

he will marry one Margaret Rose.

Bad Milk getting married?

Yes, brother. And Father Coscolio will perform the ceremony.

- I am Father Coscolio. - I don't believe it.

OK, then look there.

Hey, let them pass!

So let's go!

Climb up quickly!

Indian, you grab the chest!

Come on now, they can break free!

And don't joke about how the clothes fit me!

Nobody said anything!

- But they are big. - Shut up!

Let's go!

This is fast!

The clutch engaged too early!

May the Holy Virgin and Manitou be with you.

Goodbye, boys! See you later!

It's amazing how marriage humiliates men.

The boss looked smaller.

We're back!

We have already rescued the mayor's daughter!

Daddy!

My daughter!

Daddy, I'm saved!

Margaret Rose!

Thanks to these heroes,

they saved your life and your honor!

We saved your life, but your honor...

And we brought from everything comes back

these bandits stole over the years.

Let's go to the saloon and celebrate!

I'll pay for the drinks!

Attention, attention!

Chapulin's gang Bad Milk are teaming up!

They are in agreement for the first time!

They say they will reduce this city in ashes!

Every man by yourself!

Mayor! Mayor!

I'm resigning again!

I must attend in the vote for

the autonomy of this territory!

OK, then go and vote!

And the treasure?

I'll put it in the safe for replace the cobwebs!

Let's go for one hiding!

One moment! Don't run away!

It's time that all of you gather together and defend

its properties and their lives!

This united people, will never be defeated!

I've heard that elsewhere...

They are many, and they are great shooters!

We are a piece cake for them.

Archibald, let's go hide at home!

That's the wrong approach!

They will take advantage of you if you are afraid!

But we are scared!

You have to let fear behind!

Get some weapons!

Let's take them into a trap!

We can't do justice with your own hands!

And what do we do when the law Aren't you helping us?

Which one of you is famous Bill Golden pistols?

Not me, I hate firearms.

None of them is a gunslinger. I understand a lot about this! Wow!

We are doomed!

Look over there!

Bill, we want to have your children!

Bill Pistolas de Oro!

It had to be him! My love!

He is the man of laundry white!

Your pistols Are they gold?

They are probably a fraud!

He likes to show off!

I AM BILL

And now...!

It's terrible!

I know why no one never killed him

he is so low that bullets pass over.

And now, you will help me to get rid of the bad guys?

Now that you are here, There is no need to help.

We can't leave him alone facing danger!

Of course they can!

Remember Gary Cooper in High Noon!

He was more taller than me!

Let's help you.

He is the man who killed Liberty Valance!

That was James Stewart. I just kicked his ass!

Well you can get the reward!

We will watch the house shooting!

That's not fair! We must help this man!

I've seen this before in Johnny Guitar.

I didn't see that video.

Don't worry!

We're all going to help!

Let's get ready, girls!

I would like to help,

but I hurt my hand with the reins.

I will help! I will help!

OK, let's prepare a plan of attack!

The last time I used That's it, they died...

with your boots. Oh, well...

Come on, chickens!

Get out, cowards!

Where are the men? There are only sissies here!

As usual, everyone hides.

Come on guys, have whatever they want.

It's all ours!

Come here, Stella!

Out of here!

I have nothing against you, Stella.

But I should kill her for try to sell the ranch.

He's mine!

But you knew I wanted it! I told you one day in bed!

Men say a lot of nonsense, in bed!

Don't argue, we take the village!

Let's have some drinks, on the house!

Isn't it, Stella?

If you drink, you pay!

OK, beautiful, let's pay!

Open!

Here!

Get your clothes and your weapons!

Why the clothes?

Because a man of underwear is nothing!

Oh, it's done in wood.

Manitou, that It's shit!

Look, look!

I saw her first!

Hello beautiful!

Quickly! Take off their clothes!

Wait! I'm unarmed! My arm is hurt!

And now?

I can deal with this is the only hand!

Still!

I am an invalid! Can I help you?

Give me what have hidden!

OK, here goes!

That's all that I had hidden it.

Sorry, you You're out of luck!

Where are these two bandits?

I am here!

Come after me, you cowards!

Who is calling us?

What would become of me!

And who are you?

A donkey!

I am the only one that will kick

you are Bad Milk this idiot here!

You will have to kill us first!

Well, if you insist...

You wear a lot of white. Do you know who you remind me of?

An ice cream man!

Many idiots told me before you die!

Ice cream...

My hands they are itching...

Give me a chance.

Draw your weapons!

Just Bill Golden Pistols can do this!

That's what they call me, strange.

Please my Friend, don't kill us!

We have nothing against you!

But these people They are my friends.

And I can't make it ugly!

Now get out of town!

If you come back,

I will pierce your hearts with my golden bullets!

This is my reward for 100 years of honesty.

We love you, Bill!

He is a hero!

Thanks, Bill! you won your reward!

Thank you, but I can't take it.

With that money go to Washington

and ask the President to send someone to take care

of your safety from East to West.

And you?

As usual, I'm going from here to there...

Always bringing justice.

Like Robin Hood.

Like Don Quixote. Like the Smurfs...

I don't know these bounty hunters

but I will travel like Bill Golden pistols!

My faithful horse Silver. I knew it was nearby!

Bill, what about me?

Well, after your Last activity of the day,

you can try to find a gullible somewhere.

And I'm sorry for him, whoever he is!

It's time to go.

Goodbye, my friends!

I went too far!

He fell!

He's going to a excursion in France!

Goodbye, friends!

There is a sun scorching in the sky

Long John White Label, Chivas,

Spanish whiskey DYC sucks

the best is White Horse.

My name is Bill Golden pistols.

My horse is Silver Away!

I cross the west

killing bad people.

I love girls

that I find on my way.

I hate gunmen

who live a long time outside the law.

And this is how you count the story from "East to West.