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1
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Can you hear them?
2
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Oh, yes.
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Snap, crackle and pop.
4
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They sounds like tiny people.
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"Help me, I can't swim!"
6
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Guys, do you mind?
7
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What are they doing?
8
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Talking about the cereal.
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Red man! Red man! Red man! Red man!
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- Postman's coming. - How do you...?
11
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I'll go with you. *Friends together*
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*Fetch the post together...*
13
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Cornflakes were actually invented
14
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to stop people from touching themselves, apparently.
15
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Never did like cornflakes.
16
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Give me an egg atop a cutlet any day of the diary.
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Toaster.
18
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- Yes, I know, I wasn't scared. - *Let me read the post...*
19
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It's so exciting reading one's correspondences.
20
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I bet these are from all your admirers.
21
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- I promise I won't tell Michael! - Anything interesting?
22
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Red bill. Red bill. Normal bill.
23
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They're looking for a house to film a new drama in.
24
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I smell money!
25
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- You can eat them now. - What?
26
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They have stopped calling out. They are dead.
27
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Yeah, I mean, it really is an incredible place.
28
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The building itself is 15th-century.
29
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1469, to be precise.
30
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Very good. But the facade is actually mid-16th.
31
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But the facade is actually mid-16th.
32
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'Tis the finest house in the county.
33
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- Tell her it's the finest house in the county. - I don't want to...
34
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blow our own trumpet,
35
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but some people say that it is the finest house in the county.
36
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Shall we go inside?
37
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I'm telling you, this is a bad idea.
38
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Actors lounging about the house,
39
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learning lines, wearing make-up,
40
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prancing about the place in loincloths, topless, oiled up.
41
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Kissing each other probably.
42
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- Oh, gosh! - I don't think it's that kind of film, mate!
43
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This was the banqueting hall.
44
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Great space.
45
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Oh, I forgot to take out the bins.
46
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Anyway, what could I tell you about this room?
47
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Henry VIII actually dined here.
48
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Wow! Henry VIII actually dined here.
49
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Sorry, did I say "Wow"?
50
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I'm just still amazed by that.
51
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- No, it is wow. - Yeah.
52
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Yeah, you should've seen the banquet. He had swan.
53
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- He had swan. - And hog.
54
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- And dumplings. And figs. - And dumplings. And hog.
55
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And figs.
56
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- Absolutely stank out the privy. - And absolutely...loved the place.
57
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Absolutely loved it.
58
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As do we!
59
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Shall we move on?
60
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Er, give us a lift?
61
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Mate?
62
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- OK. - Thank you.
63
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What's the programme, then?
64
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It's a period drama.
65
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- What period? - Stuart!
66
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- Tudor! - Regency!
67
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- Regency. - Yes!
68
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Sorry! Got carried away!
69
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There you are!
70
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Are you a sight for sore...?
71
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Oh, you are kidding me?
72
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When I have control of the hands,
73
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I am going to punch you so hard.
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I think this place is perfect,
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if you'd be willing to have us here for a couple of months.
76
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How much would you be offering?
77
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- 3,000. - We'd have to sleep on it.
78
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- 3,000 a day is the most we can offer. - A day?!
79
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Morning! I've just slept on it and I say yes!
80
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- And it's a yes from me! - Great!
81
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Just to warn you, though, it is quite intrusive.
82
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- Lots of personnel. - Sounds fun.
83
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It can feel like you're not welcome in your own home.
84
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- Absolutely outrageous. - We're used to that.
85
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We've had building work going on.
86
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Is there anything structural we should know about?
87
00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:05,540
- Well, the floor in this room... - No, no, no!
88
00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:07,070
No, there's nothing structural.
89
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Everything's structurally sound as a pound!
90
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,410
We were looking at a property in the next village,
91
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but they're a big family
92
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and they had some issues about which rooms we could use.
93
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Well, we're easy. You can film wherever you like, when you like.
94
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Cos it's just the two of us.
95
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Yeah...
96
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Oh, here they come. The riff-raff.
97
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The lags. This will be chaos.
98
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- Morning. - Mind your backs!
99
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ADs on channel 2, please.
100
00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:54,590
Well, I'm keeping out of it.
101
00:04:54,590 --> 00:04:58,730
Yes, though I might just, erm...check.
102
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Yeah.
103
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That looks absolutely lovely, that, doesn't it?
104
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:10,370
You going to put an egg on it?
105
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He's put an egg on it!
106
00:05:14,310 --> 00:05:15,860
Can I have some veggie sausages, please?
107
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- No. No. - On a roll.
108
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Disgusting.
109
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You be beautiful wigs that I ever did s...
110
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Have you left your tongs on, Tina?
111
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Is this meant to be 1820s?
112
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Those are Rococo chairs and tables.
113
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You can tell by the legs. They're Rococo legs.
114
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Hi, I'm Adam, I'm the first assistant director.
115
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Nice to meet you, hi. Hi.
116
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Mike.
117
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Sorry... What do you mean, he's still in make-up?
118
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We're not meant to have more than 15 people on this floor,
119
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and some of these things weigh as much as people, so that's...
120
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It'll be fine. I'm sure that's an exaggeration.
121
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But the survey said...
122
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Yeah, the survey also said that we need to replace the drains,
123
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and we need this money to do that.
124
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There aren't that many people, anyway.
125
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As long as there isn't anything that's too heavy.
126
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Mind your backs!
127
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OK! You can store this in the other room, actually.
128
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It's easier for you then, isn't it?
129
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Just keep things a bit more uncluttered in here.
130
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- The room just along there. - Can we just...?
131
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Little horse go clippy-clippy-clop.
132
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Oh, I see.
133
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- No! - What a business!
134
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You done it now, man.
135
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I suppose we should call it a day... Hello to you, sir!
136
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The gee-gees, come on, then. Let's have a bit of this.
137
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Come on.
138
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Ok.
139
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That's an arrival on Toby. Just stepping out of the car.
140
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Oh, my God.
141
00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:56,610
- Who is that? - Toby Nightingale.
142
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- He is... - Hot, right?
143
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It's certainly a lot of layers.
144
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,770
No, Kitty, she means to say she's in love with him.
145
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A knife in my heart!
146
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Look at all his servants.
147
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He looks preposterous.
148
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Nine, ten...
149
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He counts as two.
150
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What are you...?
151
00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:22,900
- Oh, no. - Everything OK?
152
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,550
No. Yeah. Everything's fine.
153
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It's just Toby Nightingale, that's her free pass.
154
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Free pass? Oh, right!
155
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Don't let him hear that.
156
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Yeah, I won't. I definitely won't.
157
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Julian! I say, Julian!
158
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What do you want? I'm terribly busy.
159
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You wouldn't happen to know what a "Free pass" Means?
160
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Something Michael said.
161
00:07:46,470 --> 00:07:48,550
Oh, yes. Samantha Fox was mine.
162
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I do hope she's still modelling. Very talented lady.
163
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Alison's is this actor fellow.
164
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What does it mean?
165
00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:57,910
Well, it's a sort of clause in a marriage contract.
166
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A named exception to the rule of monogamy.
167
00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:04,060
Sometimes there's a whole list of people
168
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with whom one can enter into congress without consequences.
169
00:08:07,030 --> 00:08:10,240
- My God! - Margot had three of the Gladiators on her list.
170
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Wolf, Cobra and John Fashanu.
171
00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:17,740
You mean to say that this player, this minstrel,
172
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is allowed to bed fair Alison?
173
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He's her free pass.
174
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I'll start here,
175
00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:32,010
and I think I'm going to approach...
176
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,490
What are they feeding the metal cow?
177
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:40,670
Oh! No, that's not a cow, Mary, no. That's called a camera.
178
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Yes. They're just cleaning the lens.
179
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Is that its mouth?
180
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:49,120
No, no, no. That's its, erm, eye.
181
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OK, cheques are happy.
182
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What does that mean?
183
00:08:53,870 --> 00:08:55,330
I thought you weren't interested?
184
00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:58,330
What? No, no, no, I just wanted to, erm, you know?
185
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Can we clear the frame now?
186
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,710
First positions. Call for quiet.
187
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,740
- Quiet on set, please! - That's extraordinary.
188
00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:05,590
Camera set?
189
00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:08,570
Getting a good look, are we?
190
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Quiet!
191
00:09:10,910 --> 00:09:13,540
Alison! A word, if you please.
192
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,060
Is it true that...?
193
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:20,200
..Everyone.
194
00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:25,120
Thank you.
195
00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:29,260
- And action! - Oh, that's very good.
196
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:30,590
They've left for London.
197
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,340
It's a pity that such a sweet girl
198
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,150
should have such low connections.
199
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,320
She's a fancy flapjack.
200
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,430
Perhaps you are too harsh on your sex, Miss Jane.
201
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:44,640
In truth, you have not had experience of all of society.
202
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,330
I am beginning to believe that this severity
203
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is born from other distractions.
204
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:57,180
Do you find yourself distracted, Miss Jane?
205
00:09:57,610 --> 00:09:58,550
My lord.
206
00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,250
Kiss him!
207
00:10:05,540 --> 00:10:06,690
What is it? Damn you!
208
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,710
- Yes, what is it? Damn you! - A letter for you, Lord Byron, sir.
209
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,240
- Byron? - Cut!
210
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:15,310
- Cut what? Oh, not my lace! - Byron? Did he say Byron?
211
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,790
Isn't he going to read the letter?
212
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:18,890
I'm sure Adam knows what he's doing.
213
00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:21,270
- That's one out, three in. - Four.
214
00:10:21,530 --> 00:10:22,830
God, they're everywhere!
215
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,270
This is about Byron?
216
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:26,720
Well, yeah, I mean, the clue is in the title, mate.
217
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,300
What effrontery is this?
218
00:10:30,650 --> 00:10:33,250
I cannot and will not bear it!
219
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,350
Can we take that key light up a little?
220
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,070
You do light.
221
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:50,430
- He's smaller in real life, isn't he? - Taller, if anything.
222
00:10:50,610 --> 00:10:52,580
I wish I could see his calves.
223
00:10:52,890 --> 00:10:55,070
I bet he's got lovely calves.
224
00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:57,620
- Well, I thought that was rather good. - No good for me.
225
00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:59,390
It sounds like there's a radio on somewhere.
226
00:10:59,390 --> 00:11:01,050
- Can we find out where the...? - I'm on it.
227
00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:03,700
I can also hear a wood pigeon.
228
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,240
Yeah, good luck with that one, mate.
229
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,450
- What's up after this one? - We're in the bedroom for the sex scene.
230
00:11:09,580 --> 00:11:11,170
Oh, my!
231
00:11:15,430 --> 00:11:17,270
Sorry, Julian, they can hear it on set.
232
00:11:17,270 --> 00:11:19,080
No, actually, this is important. I need to...
233
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,950
Don't do that! I've got a bet on.
234
00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:22,800
- You've got a bet on? - That's what I said.
235
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,280
- You can't bet, you're dead. - All right, don't rub it in.
236
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,310
It's a sportsman's bet with myself.
237
00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:29,790
Hold on a minute.
238
00:11:30,130 --> 00:11:31,960
You could put a bet on for me.
239
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,090
You haven't got any money, you're...
240
00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:35,300
Dead! I know, you just said that, I get it!
241
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:36,800
But you could keep my winnings,
242
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maybe buy yourself a pretty little dress.
243
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:41,940
Perhaps some make-up. Make yourself look nice.
244
00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:45,200
I really believe you have it in you, Alison.
245
00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:47,800
Just need a bit of help, that's all.
246
00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:49,320
You're welcome.
247
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,960
Just keep the radio off, please!
248
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,180
Will do! Mystery Queen 10-1!
249
00:11:57,860 --> 00:12:00,450
- Sorted. - Thank you. OK!
250
00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:02,180
- I can hear the radio again. - One sec!
251
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:06,980
I told you to turn it off.
252
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:10,590
No, actually, no, you didn't. You said... Er...hold on a moment!
253
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This is my house too. I have a right to the amenities.
254
00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:15,800
- This is an infringement of my... - Write to your MP!
255
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:18,390
She got me there.
256
00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:20,930
Sorry about that. It won't happen again now.
257
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:24,980
Ok.
258
00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:27,330
Let's not get behind. First positions, please!
259
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,950
- That's it, Adam, call them to order! - Sound speed.
260
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,600
Here we go, stand by! Settle.
261
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:34,270
- And action! - Action.
262
00:12:34,270 --> 00:12:36,030
They've left for London.
263
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,210
It's a pity that such a sweet girl
264
00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:40,890
should have such low connections.
265
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,090
- She said that before. - Yes, that's because...
266
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:44,690
Please, Pat. We're turning.
267
00:12:44,690 --> 00:12:47,670
Perhaps you are too harsh on your sex, Miss Jane.
268
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:51,860
In truth you have not had experience of all of society.
269
00:12:55,660 --> 00:12:58,590
I am beginning to believe that this severity
270
00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:00,520
is born of other distractions.
271
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,810
Do you find yourself distracted, Miss Jane?
272
00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:09,090
Robin!
273
00:13:09,630 --> 00:13:10,930
For God's sake!
274
00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:17,960
Sorry. It was just a really good take, wasn't it?
275
00:13:18,270 --> 00:13:18,950
Harry!
276
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,770
Sorry, I don't know why that happened. I'll sort it.
277
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:25,700
OK, let's cut and reset as quickly as possible, please.
278
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:27,810
No, we don't have time. We'll just use the beginning of that one.
279
00:13:27,810 --> 00:13:30,890
- Let's move on before we lose the day. - OK, moving on!
280
00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:32,230
Set up for the next shot, please.
281
00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:34,100
Moving on, please, everyone. Moving on.
282
00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:35,970
Can I take a look at playback, please?
283
00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:39,690
'Tis witchcraft.
284
00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:42,130
Their souls be captured in the window.
285
00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:46,570
Oh, no, no, no. It's all being recorded on to a video cassette.
286
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,280
But how are they cleft in twain?
287
00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:51,980
They be there and there.
288
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:52,720
What?
289
00:13:56,090 --> 00:13:57,350
Oh, God.
290
00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:03,890
Sorry, if I distracted you there.
291
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,890
Oh, I didn't notice. I was completely in the scene.
292
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:07,620
Great.
293
00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:09,770
We haven't met, have we?
294
00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:13,020
- I'm Toby. - I-I-I'm Alison.
295
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:16,940
Can I just say how good I thought you were in The Shoe Shiner?
296
00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:17,860
Fire away.
297
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:20,250
Oh, er, yeah.
298
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,490
I just thought you were so good.
299
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,500
- It's actually one of my favourite films. - I'm Mike.
300
00:14:25,570 --> 00:14:28,290
I completely believed that you were blind.
301
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,290
Thanks. I spent a week at a hotel for the blind.
302
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,610
Wore a blindfold, really got to know the condition.
303
00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:35,500
One of the most rewarding times of my life.
304
00:14:36,450 --> 00:14:39,940
I tell you what, food never tasted so good.
305
00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,380
Now I always eat with my eyes closed.
306
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,140
Mind your backs, please!
307
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,860
- Excuse me, Toby. - No problem.
308
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:50,770
Nice to meet you, Abigail.
309
00:14:50,940 --> 00:14:52,170
It's... It's Alison.
310
00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:55,250
That looks really heavy. Shall we just come clean?
311
00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:57,170
What, and tell them that they're working on a death trap?
312
00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:58,980
Look, if you go outside, that's one less.
313
00:15:02,140 --> 00:15:02,940
Both of us.
314
00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:04,620
Fine.
315
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:17,650
Curses!
316
00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:19,290
A pox on all of them...
317
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:20,530
..apart from Alison.
318
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:23,100
Finally!
319
00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:27,860
Come to coax me back, have you?
320
00:15:28,090 --> 00:15:29,050
It's no use!
321
00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:32,340
Nothing will persuade me to... Oh, it's you.
322
00:15:32,660 --> 00:15:35,050
Go and get Alis... Oh, he can't hear me.
323
00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:38,170
Harry, can you hurry with that light, please?
324
00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:42,130
So the metal cow remembers what it sees...
325
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:43,530
Through its one eye?
326
00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:46,330
Yeah. And it sends the memories through the cables...
327
00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:47,890
- Worms. - Worms, if you like.
328
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:49,610
..to the little window.
329
00:15:49,620 --> 00:15:53,620
Where the tiny peoples dance the memories.
330
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:55,460
Yeah, if you like.
331
00:15:57,780 --> 00:15:59,100
Come to dadda.
332
00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:00,740
There we go, that's all good.
333
00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:08,370
Seems to be all right now.
334
00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:11,460
Thanks, Harry, just one more, from the top.
335
00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:14,770
I thought they were moving on? When are they moving on?
336
00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:17,690
- Oh, they do lots of different camera angles. - How many?
337
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:18,770
Quiet on set, please!
338
00:16:18,780 --> 00:16:19,980
Quiet on set, please.
339
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,220
- Turning over. - Sound speed.
340
00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:23,700
- And action! - Action.
341
00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:27,290
They've left for London. It's a pity...
342
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:28,610
Stand aside, Thorne!
343
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,730
- You really want to know what vexed me? - No!
344
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:31,890
Fine, I'll tell you.
345
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:35,410
Lord Byron was my greatest foe.
346
00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:38,970
If I had flesh and this were Byron himself,
347
00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:41,410
I would damn well run him through!
348
00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:43,860
He stole my verse,
349
00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:45,500
my destiny,
350
00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:49,810
and now he is to steal the woman of my dreams!
351
00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:51,570
You say every woman is the woman of your dreams.
352
00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:54,700
I have a lot of dreams! And most of them are about women...
353
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:58,530
..apart from the one where I have the body of a crab.
354
00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:01,500
What is it? Damn you!
355
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:04,220
Begging your pardon. A letter for you, Lord Byron, sir.
356
00:17:04,450 --> 00:17:08,940
I will not tolerate this sordid pantomime in my house
357
00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:11,900
glorifying this charlatan!
358
00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:13,770
This cad!
359
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:16,420
This wazzock!
360
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:17,970
What's a wazzock?
361
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,330
Pat says it!
362
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:23,220
I'm going to drown myself in the lake.
363
00:17:24,490 --> 00:17:25,740
I mean it!
364
00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:28,260
- Cut! - Cut there!
365
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:30,050
Right, we're going to take a couple of minutes,
366
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:31,850
just to turn things around for the reverse.
367
00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:33,330
Actors, you can relax yourselves off.
368
00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:35,090
Right, that's two minutes, people,
369
00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:36,610
and then we're going to turn it round.
370
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,980
Thank you very much. God, this is good.
371
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,130
- Oh, hey, Abigail. - Oh, it's Alis...
372
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,050
I wonder if I could ask you a favour.
373
00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:49,980
I've got this scene later, I need to run the lines.
374
00:17:50,010 --> 00:17:51,010
I didn't want to ask her,
375
00:17:51,010 --> 00:17:52,610
because I find it can stifle spontaneity,
376
00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:54,020
and I want to keep it fresh and beautiful.
377
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:56,380
- I'm Lord Byron, obviously. - Yep.
378
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,090
I've thought of nothing but you all day.
379
00:17:59,140 --> 00:17:59,980
Have you?
380
00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:03,090
No, that's the scene, that's the first line.
381
00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:05,570
Of course!
382
00:18:06,180 --> 00:18:08,570
Why would you...? That's... OK!
383
00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:10,500
I've thought of nothing but you all day. Hm.
384
00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:12,980
Do not deny your feelings.
385
00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:15,940
- I do not. - Alison? - Oh, my heart.
386
00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:18,660
First, I will kiss your lips.
387
00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:21,570
Then I will undress you.
388
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,020
And then...
389
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,020
And then...
390
00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:02,530
Squares!
391
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:17,290
Bingo!
392
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:19,450
Can we have some music on, please, Cathy?
393
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:22,940
My bus, my rules! I've got 20 quid on this!
394
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,240
Ah, yes.
395
00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:29,330
You are on a sinful path.
396
00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:31,730
I can't talk about this now. It's not what you think it is.
397
00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:34,490
Oh, I know all about this so-called free pass.
398
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:37,460
Your husband may be satisfied but, I tell you, I am not.
399
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:39,610
The marriage vows are sacred,
400
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:43,170
and I will not have you sullying the good name of this family
401
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:45,090
with your wanton debauchery!
402
00:20:00,580 --> 00:20:01,490
How's it going?
403
00:20:01,770 --> 00:20:04,810
- What are you wearing? - Oh, I thought I'd go for a run.
404
00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:07,050
- Now? You don't run. - Hey, going for a run?
405
00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:09,450
Yeah, I like to keep in shape.
406
00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:10,850
What are we talking? 5K?
407
00:20:11,450 --> 00:20:12,770
10...at least.
408
00:20:12,770 --> 00:20:15,210
Cool. I'm actually in training for my next project.
409
00:20:15,210 --> 00:20:16,370
I'm playing a mountain climber,
410
00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:17,970
so I'm mainly focusing on upper-body strength.
411
00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:20,940
Yeah? Me...me too!
412
00:20:21,660 --> 00:20:22,460
One...
413
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:28,500
- Why is that...? - Are you actually going up a real-life mountain?
414
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,610
- Of course. - Mike couldn't do that.
415
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,210
- He's scared of heights. - I wouldn't say scared.
416
00:20:32,210 --> 00:20:35,140
Oh, I love them, if anything. Don't faze me at all.
417
00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:39,140
OK, back on in five, everyone!
418
00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:42,530
OK, well, I'd better get going.
419
00:20:43,010 --> 00:20:44,530
- Keep an eye on the floor, yeah? - Hm.
420
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:46,380
Enjoy your 10K.
421
00:20:48,210 --> 00:20:50,660
Oh, my God. How much does that thing weigh?
422
00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:53,250
Watch yourself, coming through.
423
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,850
Where have all these people come from? There's twice as many.
424
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,130
In your face!
425
00:21:04,140 --> 00:21:06,330
Robin! What the bally hell do you think you're playing at?
426
00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:09,900
- Bigger boy made me do it. - No! It's nonsense, and you know it!
427
00:21:10,210 --> 00:21:13,180
Yeah, I just think it's a shame we're not just pushing in
428
00:21:13,210 --> 00:21:15,770
for that moment there, just to capture the emotion.
429
00:21:15,770 --> 00:21:17,290
Well, I'm sure they know what they're doing, Mary.
430
00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:19,530
Will, can you just push in a little? Just get the emotion.
431
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,740
- Yeah, sure. - Well done, Mary!
432
00:21:22,730 --> 00:21:24,330
This is taking for ever.
433
00:21:39,820 --> 00:21:41,140
That's probably about 10K.
434
00:21:49,530 --> 00:21:52,140
Little short cut...
435
00:21:57,010 --> 00:21:59,330
- Why is that? - First positions.
436
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:01,530
Thanks for your patience, everyone.
437
00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:02,810
This is the last set-up.
438
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:05,700
Toby. Toby.
439
00:22:08,580 --> 00:22:09,890
Lord Byron?
440
00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:11,620
- Yes? - First positions.
441
00:22:14,580 --> 00:22:16,410
- Turning. - Sound speed!
442
00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:17,660
- And action. - Action.
443
00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:19,290
They've left for London.
444
00:22:27,450 --> 00:22:30,740
In truth, you have not had experience of all of society.
445
00:22:32,380 --> 00:22:35,130
I am beginning to believe that this severity
446
00:22:35,140 --> 00:22:37,020
is born from other distractions.
447
00:22:48,530 --> 00:22:53,020
Do you find yourself distracted, Miss Jane?
448
00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:02,940
My lord.
449
00:23:04,970 --> 00:23:07,020
- And cut! - That's scene complete.
450
00:23:12,860 --> 00:23:14,180
That should hold it.
451
00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:17,370
Jolly good. Excellent work, everybody, thank you.
452
00:23:17,380 --> 00:23:19,850
Thank you so much for your hard work today, everyone.
453
00:23:19,860 --> 00:23:22,700
It does not go unnoticed. Lovely working with you, thank you.
454
00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:25,850
- Thank God. - I thought they were never going to finish.
455
00:23:25,860 --> 00:23:27,610
Moving on to the bedroom.
456
00:23:27,620 --> 00:23:30,970
Closed set, just essential crew, please, cos there'll be nudity.
457
00:23:30,970 --> 00:23:32,900
Oh, I hope he has a hairy chest.
458
00:23:33,210 --> 00:23:33,940
Good lord.
459
00:23:34,940 --> 00:23:39,220
OK, it's a closed set. There will be intercourse, apparently.
460
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:41,740
Next up, it's the main event of the day,
461
00:23:41,770 --> 00:23:44,260
this is the big one, the King Henry Stakes.
462
00:23:44,490 --> 00:23:45,970
As the riders line up,
463
00:23:45,970 --> 00:23:47,570
- the atmosphere here is - Here we go!
464
00:23:47,580 --> 00:23:50,450
- absolutely electric. - Fingers-fingers!
465
00:23:50,450 --> 00:23:52,210
There you are, Harry, straight through, yep.
466
00:23:52,210 --> 00:23:55,130
First door on the right, thank you. Er, no. No, thank you.
467
00:23:55,140 --> 00:23:56,730
You heard Adam. It's a closed set.
468
00:23:56,730 --> 00:23:59,330
Essential crew only. Especially not you, Robin!
469
00:23:59,340 --> 00:24:02,370
- I'll be good. - There's no harm in it. They can't see us, mate.
470
00:24:02,380 --> 00:24:04,690
Yeah, we're ghosts, you warty old crunk.
471
00:24:04,700 --> 00:24:06,930
That is beside the point. Rules are rules,
472
00:24:06,940 --> 00:24:09,050
and young Adam deserves our every respect.
473
00:24:09,060 --> 00:24:11,980
OK, if everyone's happy. Let's clear the room.
474
00:24:15,180 --> 00:24:15,850
Good Lord.
475
00:24:16,700 --> 00:24:18,010
Why he do rain dance?
476
00:24:18,010 --> 00:24:20,700
The Devil plays with his strings!
477
00:24:20,940 --> 00:24:24,570
Oh, no, no, no, no. He's getting himself in the zone.
478
00:24:32,210 --> 00:24:33,090
Fixed it!
479
00:24:34,010 --> 00:24:35,330
Oh, great!
480
00:24:35,940 --> 00:24:37,770
Before or after the 10K?
481
00:24:38,580 --> 00:24:39,900
Where's your free pass?
482
00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:41,140
You...
483
00:24:41,620 --> 00:24:43,090
You're not are you actually jealous?
484
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:44,700
No.
485
00:24:46,210 --> 00:24:47,740
But, I mean, he is handsome.
486
00:24:52,820 --> 00:24:55,140
And...action.
487
00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:57,500
No, thank you!
488
00:25:00,580 --> 00:25:02,530
I've thought of nothing but you all day.
489
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:06,210
Yes!
490
00:25:06,210 --> 00:25:08,930
- What are you all doing here? - We're not allowed in.
491
00:25:08,940 --> 00:25:11,220
- They're making love. - What?!
492
00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:14,570
No, no, no, Fanny, no! No, Fanny!
493
00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:17,610
Bradley's Misdemeanour challenged by the outsider Mystery Queen.
494
00:25:17,620 --> 00:25:20,090
- Come on, Bradley! - Come on, Mystery Queen!
495
00:25:21,340 --> 00:25:22,050
Alison!
496
00:25:22,060 --> 00:25:24,660
First, I will kiss you...
497
00:25:28,100 --> 00:25:29,050
- Mystery Queen on the - Come on!
498
00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:31,860
Help! I can't pull myself up.
499
00:25:31,940 --> 00:25:33,380
Come on!
500
00:25:34,380 --> 00:25:35,250
Stop kicking!
501
00:25:35,250 --> 00:25:36,570
Come on!
502
00:25:39,820 --> 00:25:41,250
Oh, come on!
503
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:43,900
- Robin! - What? It wasn't me!
504
00:25:43,970 --> 00:25:45,420
- Have you got me? Have you got me? - It's OK.
505
00:25:46,210 --> 00:25:47,410
Let yourself down. Slowly.
506
00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:48,090
Have you got...?
507
00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:52,090
Oh, god. Oh, god.
508
00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:54,500
You're fine now, you're all right now.
509
00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:57,530
All right.
510
00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:04,420
- Someone get a medic in here. Toby, are you OK? - No, I'm not.
511
00:26:04,450 --> 00:26:06,220
I could've died, and then where would you be?
512
00:26:07,180 --> 00:26:08,260
Where did you get that from?
513
00:26:10,940 --> 00:26:11,900
I think you know.
514
00:26:18,860 --> 00:26:20,260
That's a terrible shame.
515
00:26:20,380 --> 00:26:23,420
- I thought you didn't want them here? - Not for me, for you.
516
00:26:23,490 --> 00:26:24,460
The money and so on.
517
00:26:24,860 --> 00:26:26,810
I shan't miss him...them!
518
00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:30,250
'Tis back to boredom, I suppose.
519
00:26:30,250 --> 00:26:33,260
Oh, never bored with chess board.
520
00:26:33,450 --> 00:26:37,170
Well, I think it quite the best to be free from distractions.
521
00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:40,450
- You do know that free pass thing's a joke? - Wasn't in my marriage.
522
00:26:40,450 --> 00:26:42,850
Goodbye, ￡96,000.
523
00:26:42,860 --> 00:26:43,770
Yeah...
524
00:26:44,140 --> 00:26:46,220
Well, at least we won 100 quid.
525
00:26:46,700 --> 00:26:49,370
Mystery Queen. Got a tip from a ghost.
526
00:26:49,380 --> 00:26:52,730
- That's how we can make money! - No, they're...they're ghosts, Mike.
527
00:26:52,730 --> 00:26:54,290
I think you're thinking of time-travellers.
528
00:26:57,420 --> 00:26:58,490
- Yeah, but... - No.
529
00:26:58,490 --> 00:27:00,290
Well, Thomas will be glad they've gone.
530
00:27:00,300 --> 00:27:02,810
Yeah, perhaps someone should tell him.
531
00:27:06,380 --> 00:27:07,860
Come on, Pat. Chop chop!
38861
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