Original subtitles

White stitching…

Cream stitching…

White stitching…

Cream stitching…

White stitching…

Cream stitching…

Now I have to start all over.

Absolutely not.

Die.

Molly.

What?

God? Is that you?

Am I dead?

This is a very good outfit to be a ghost in.

I think you and I need to talk.

- What? - It's John.

John?

Where are you? Are you in my house?

Of course not.

I hacked into your speaker.

I own the company that makes them.

John, that is not okay.

That speaker is a sacred object Beyoncé comes out of.

Wait, wait…

- It's me again. - Fuck!

- You're in the cappuccino machine now? - I know. I know.

I bought this company too.

It's kinda crazy how resourceful I am.

Just give me 30 seconds.

You're tickling me.

- Coochie coochie coo! - Gross.

Coffee machine. Voice command.

Kill yourself.

I'm in the oven now.

Goddamn it.

Okay, I've been thinking about starting a new foundation.

I'd love you to come over to my new place

so I can pick your brain about it.

Oh, right.

Like you're really into philanthropy.

You know what, John? I'd rather use this oven to cook something myself

than spend one more second talking to you.

You cheated on me, and you completely humiliated me. But I have moved on, okay?

I have a boyfriend now.

So bring him with you.

This is me extending my oven door to you, hoping you'll take it.

The offer stands, whenever you're ready. Ow!

Cousin Molly, we have a huge problem.

There's a ghost in the toilet, and he wants to talk to you.

But you might want to give it a couple of minutes.

Yes.

Hey, Sis, thank you so much for getting me this receptionist job.

I am so excited.

It is a trial run for now, so we'll see how it goes.

- You're supposed to answer that. - It starts right now?

- Okay, let's do it. - Okay.

"Whales" Foundation.

- Wells. - Wells Foundation.

Child, I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine.

Sweetie, your energy is so toxic right now. I gotta go.

Who was that guy?

I don't know. That is your job.

Okay. Look who's back.

Destiny.

Gemini season. TGIF.

It's Tuesday.

We know that. TGIF. "That Guy is Fun."

Howard, I gave my sister a temp job here,

so can you set her up with email and an ID, please?

You are gonna love working here.

- Okay. - Let me set you up.

Actually, how many computers do you manage here?

I'd say between the server and the cloud, about six, seven billion.

Damn.

Vital to the operation. We love that.

Howard, it keeps saying my password is too dirty.

Okay, I have never seen that before.

I'ma spell "ass" with the number three.

Okay, guys, MollyNation is killing it.

Let's keep that energy up with no distractions.

Oh, my God. I'm having flashbacks to jacking it to Dawson.

Why are you doing this?

John hacked into my house!

He's probably listening right now!

Just so you know,

everything we're saying is being recorded,

so we should probably write everything down.

John is such a piece of shit!

Why won't he leave me alone?

- Fuck! - Honey, be careful of the vocal cords.

We have karaoke with the Clooneys coming up.

Well, what did he want, Molly?

Oh, he said he wants to "pick my brain" about charity.

But that guy is always up to something.

Little weasel.

Well…

Good luck getting through me and Paula Cole, dickhead!

Will it be yes or will it be?

- I don't want to wait… - So…

Dawson? I always figured you for more of a Pacey guy.

Oh, no. In these scenarios, I was Academy Award winner Michelle Williams.

I don't want to wait for our lives…

Hey. All this John hacking stuff has really got me worried.

We have a ton of powerful billionaire enemies.

Can you send out a memo about cybersecurity?

Memo to self.

Write memo.

Thanks.

And keep an eye out on my sister.

She's going to suggest a low country crab boil for lunch.

Do not agree.

Hello, Wells Foundation.

Yeah, I could help you, but you could also learn to help yourself.

Fix me, crystal.

Crystal, fix me.

How's it going over there? The anger draining out at all?

I don't think so.

I'm beginning to think my crystologist, Dr. Robert Vibes,

is somewhat of a con artist.

I am kind of worried about you.

You are? Why?

Because I got rid of all the toilets?

We can use the pool.

Look. You have every right to be angry with John,

but I'm gonna say something crazy.

I think we should take him up on his offer.

- Bitch face says what? - Just hear me out.

After my divorce, I had a lot of anger towards my ex.

I mean, it was eating me up inside.

So how did you do it? How did you get better?

Well, my ex and I agreed to meet for coffee once a month.

And it really sucked…

and then it didn't.

John is always gonna be in your life, Molly.

You know? I mean, you run in the same circles.

His face is always on the news.

I mean, do you really wanna live like this?

But, Arthur, if we go to his house, he wins.

Look, it's not about winning or losing.

It's not even about John.

It's about you.

I just wish I could get a bigger crystal.

Why can't you?

Because they're never going to let Dr. Robert Vibes back in the country.

Is this the Howard meeting?

I got an invite to "Hack to the Future, colon, you in danger, girl.

Parenthesis, a journey into cybersecurity."

Yeah, we have no idea what's going on.

I'll tell you what's going on. I'm intrigued as hell

and I'm ready to rock.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Identity theft.

Data larceny.

Wireless espionage.

Who are you gonna call?

Howard Wilson.

Welcome to my cybersecurity presentation.

Before we get started, how about a little stand-up comedy to break the ice?

Oh, no.

So, let's see here.

I was at the store the other day, you heard about those?

And they had the deodorant all locked up.

And I'm like, "I didn't know we were that antiperspirant."

Howard, can I talk to you outside, please?

Yeah.

What was that?

I'm trying to hook a fish, man. Destiny.

Okay. Well, if you really like someone, then just ask them out.

Or you can do what I do, make eye contact with them in a sauna.

Oh, no. I can't do that.

I mean, look at her. She's so far out of my league.

I gotta impress her. I gotta dazzle.

So could you please help me out?

Fine.

You are so lucky that it turns me on to trick people.

Okay. I'm gonna knock on the door.

You got this.

- I can do this, right? - Yes.

Molly, there's our girl.

- What's up? - Sweet Ed Hardy.

I mean, hello.

Is this the guy? This must be the guy. What's up, "Artschool"?

- How you doing, man? - Hey. Good.

Listen, any guy that's taking care of my Molly is a brother to me.

Oh, thank you. And thanks for having us.

Delt City over here.

You kitesurf?

I like kitesurfing. It's good for the V.

Come on in, guys.

John, you… you seem different.

Yeah? Well, I kinda totally reinvented myself.

I got new threads. I'm working out.

I am eating totally clean.

All due, and all thanks to Luciana.

Who is Luciana?

Buona sera.

Sorry for my late.

I was, how you say?

- In the kitchen. - That's right.

I make the rigatoni, and the spaghet.

Isn't she amazing? She totally changed my life.

Hey, Luciana, save some for me, you know?

Hey.

He always want it.

You know, like a little boy who want to suckle after the school.

Om, nom, nom.

- Yeah. - "After the school"?

Yeah. Why don't you make yourselves at home?

I'm gonna go whip us up some skinny Negronis,

- and charge my shirt, okay? - Ciao.

- Ciao. - Can I have a piggyback ride?

- Yeah. - I knew it.

God.

John is not interested in fixing things.

He just wants to rub his new girlfriend and her hard boobies in my face.

Okay. Remember, this is not about John.

This is about you letting go of your anger.

You can do this. I'm here with you.

Hell yeah, you are.

You know what? John's not the only one with a little candy in his pocket.

Okay, Molly. Let's calm down, be adults.

Oh, I'm an adult.

I am a grown woman

who can vote.

I can buy beer.

I can even rent a car, motherfucker.

You wanna fuck around and find out, huh, John?

Let me tell you something,

you don't worry your pretty little head about nothing.

Okay.

You just sit back and relax.

Let mama drive.

Oh, shit.

Howard, what exactly does this have to do with cybersecurity?

Identity theft can happen anywhere.

And I believe earlier you said you wanted to be paired up with Ainsley.

Oh, my gosh. You did?

Well, you actually really remind me of all my ex-boyfriends, and my dad.

Yeah, that tracks.

Well, Destiny, would you look at that?

Looks like you and I are paired up.

Guys, I love work. Work is so fun.

No. We are not doing that.

I am not touching you under any circumstances.

Oh, my gosh.

You sound exactly like my dad talking to my mom,

except he worked out more than you.

Howard, what… what happens next?

Do our phones get hacked?

We haven't even ordered yet.

Oh, good evening, Becky.

No, no, no. We aren't celebrating anything,

but I will start with a bottle of your finest sparkling.

My treat.

Big spender.

No.

- Oh, I like where this is going. - And where's this going?

- I don't know. - I don't either.

I never do.

- Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. - What the fuck?

- I thought that was a mosquito. - Hey, why don't you tell us

the whole Arthur-Molly saga?

Yay.

How'd you two become one?

- Well, we met at work. - Yeah.

Classic office romance.

Delicious.

- Yeah. I… - Yeah.

- I saw Arthur at his… - No.

How you say, desk?

Desk.

- Yeah. It was crazy. - Not much of an olive guy.

It was like two magnets.

Are you okay?

What are you doing? Are you choking?

- Bro? - Heimlich?

- Molly. - All right.

God, what a sexy lunch.

Always is with Luchi.

- Lu… No. - Oh, yeah. I like it. Do you like it?

I'm so embarrassed when you call me by my pet name.

Okay. My name for him is "Big Boy."

- Yeah. - Molly, I think you know why.

- Right? - Yeah?

That's funny. I'm… Sometimes I call Molly "Mols."

And I call him "Horse Cock."

This wine is so good.

All these tannins and shit, and apricot.

Thank you so much for bringing us here, Howard.

- Anytime. - Nicholas and I

actually have an announcement.

No, we don't. We do not have one of those.

You silly Billy.

We talked about this in the car.

It's been three months. We can tell them.

- We're having triplets! - Oh, my God.

- Ariel, Belle, and Stitch! - Oh, wow!

I'll be the god mama.

- I'll be the god mama. - Oh, beautiful!

Oh, my God. Look, she's emotional.

- What is going on here? - Oh, thank God.

Hey, Fi-fi. Welcome to the cybersecurity meeting.

Can I get you a glass of Sancerre?

What?

Howard, I asked you to send one memo.

And now what? You're on a date with my sister?

Are you two vibing?

Girl, no. We're improving. I have a boyfriend.

Improving? I hate improv.

Have a plan. Show some respect to your audience!

I hear that.

Did you at least send the memo?

I was going to after we went ice-skating.

But I'll do it now.

Hey…

- My water just broke. - I'm leaving you for your father,

and you're going straight to boarding school.

Should we eat, and then leave forever?

Yeah.

Oh, la musica.

Dio mio.

I used to dance to this song in my village.

Dance.

Oh, God. No.

Big Boy.

That's my cue.

Bring your penne to my coo-coo.

Let's go, Horse Cock.

- What? - Let's go!

We should switch partners, no?

- No. I don't need to dance with John. - Yeah.

No, no. Not with John. With me, Molly.

We lesbian, no?

Yes. Girls gone crazy.

- Oh, Big Boy. You dance with horsey now. - Yeah?

Okay.

Okay. I mean…

Actually, maybe not.

Yeah, no, I was… Yeah, I was thinking no.

Molly, you wanna talk a little bit of foundation business?

What?

Yeah.

I don't know.

John, is that really why I'm here? Do you even care about that?

Of course I do. What are you, kidding?

Just for a second. Come on.

Please, Molly?

- Okay, fine. - Okay, come on.

I'll be right back.

Ciao.

So, when did you first 69?

Okay, John. It's been a long day.

- Just get on with it. - Yeah, yeah. Okay.

- What do you think of Luciana? - I knew it.

That's what this is. That's why I'm here.

- What? - Okay, great.

So let me see. Your new girlfriend, she's hot as hell.

- And I didn't hate dancing with her. - All right.

- You win. Congratulations. - But, I mean… All right.

But this is good, right? I mean, my new look?

It's all Luciana's idea.

Can you tell that I've had my nostrils dilated?

What? I don't…

Well, I had to walk around for three months

with these little balloons shoved up in there.

I mean, I think it was a good idea. 'Cause I do look good, right?

- I look good. - Are you asking me?

I don't know. Do you think you look good?

Am I happy?

What?

Do you think I'm happy?

John, how… how can I know that?

Because you are the only person who actually knows me.

Luciana, she's just filling a void.

Which is great, you know? But she's also kind of scary.

- What do you mean? - Well, she has a temper.

She spells "Beverley Hills" the same as Robert Durst.

I mean, one night, I saw her catch a moth in our hotel room, and she ate it.

John, your moth-eating girlfriend is not my problem.

And I'm sorry,

but these jeans make you look like you've just been eliminated from Ink Master.

- I'm leaving. - Wait. Wait.

Just…

- Get me a meatball. - What?

She only lets me eat grapes.

Please? Meatball me.

I'll pay you ten million dollars.

- Meatball you? - Please.

Okay. Well, don't let her see you with the meatball.

Hey.

You okay?

I don't know.

Well, this will make you feel better.

I made you a plate of food. With extra parm. Just the way you like it.

Fuck.

I'll be right back.

Oh, thank you.

Okay.

Wow.

- Oh, my God. - Yeah.

Listen, John.

I came back here because I have someone in my life who makes me want to be kinder.

Is it Dr. Robert Vibes?

Because he's innocent, you know?

You want my advice, Big Boy?

Well, here it is.

You need to break up with Luciana.

- I do? - Yes.

I mean, you're… you're clearly not happy.

But that's not the hard part. The hard part

is working on yourself.

You need to figure out who you are

and what's important, other than being rich.

It's… It's tough.

But I'm telling you, it's worth it.

You're right.

God, you're right.

Is that what you've been doing, by the way?

'Cause you seem so good.

- Do I? - Yeah.

I'm getting there.

Thanks for coming here, Molly.

I'm gonna start making some changes.

I wish you the best.

But you need to burn those jeans.

And you might want to lose the red light.

It makes you look like you're about to get killed by John Wick.

Hey, Howard.

Before you go, I never got to set up my password.

- Can you help me, please? - Sure.

What do you want it to be?

I don't wanna say it out loud. I don't wanna get hacked.

It needs a special character.

Oh, it won't let me do emojis.

You're gonna need, like, an exclamation… Wait, wait, wait…

Are you serious?

You wanna go on a date? I thought you had a boyfriend?

Please, I dumped his ass.

You're way cooler than him. We're talking comedy, romance, roleplay.

- Now, that's how you impress the lady. - I knew being kind and funny would work.

That's how Ellen got Portia.

I didn't know that. Now, what are you doing tonight?

Oh, just my regular.

Just eating a little Thai food, playing some video games,

and mastur… a new skill.

I love learning new things.

Let's go get some shots, and take a ceramics class.

Okay, girl.

We could share the wheel like the movie Ghost.

Yes, definitely. But I'm gonna be Swayze.

Oh, that's fine. I'll be Demi.

I'm a beautiful crier.

Okay, Howard. You in danger, boy.

Tell me another joke.

Oh, I got to look some up on the Internet.

There you are.

Who wants Italian dessert?

I have a big tin of these shitty dry cookies.

Thank you. But it's getting late. We should get going.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, how dry are they?

Maybe we can take a few to go, or…

Actually, I have something I need to say to Luciana.

No, no. John, you don't need to do this while we're here.

I have to say it now, or I'll lose my nerve.

Big Boy?

Use your word. You make me scared.

- Luchi. - Yeah?

I've been thinking a lot about the future,

and the kind of life I want to have.

I know this must be feeling like it's coming out of nowhere.

Yeah.

Look…

Baby, will you marry me?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Sì, sì. How you say, yes.

Yeah. That's how you say it.

I wanna feel and look like this forever.

I love my jeans.

I do too.

Oh, my God.

Together for to the end.

You will die inside of me.

- Oh, my God. - That was bananas.

- Bananas. - From top to bottom.

I should not have told you to come here. I am so sorry.

No, you know what? I'm glad you did.

I re… Really, I feel better.

- You do? - Yes.

Because I feel shaken to my core.

No. You were right about my anger towards him.

Because after all of that, I just… I feel so sorry for him.

- Yeah? - Because he's so lost.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm not.

I have someone that looks out for me.

I love you.

I love you.

I'm sorry. This was a really weird place

- to say it for the first time. - No, I don't mind at all.

Scusi. Scusi.

- You forgot the cookie. - Thank you.

I know what you did, bitch.

Oh, my God. What happened to your accent?

No, shit. I'm not from "It'ly."

It'ly?

- What's It'ly? - It'ly.

Like Rome. I'm from Delaware.

Slower lower.

You think a fucking billionaire is gonna bang a gal who talks like this?

- Is your name even Luciana? - You wish.

It's Ashlee Kate.

And I know you told John to break up with me.

I busted my crack to get out of Dover,

and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you "roon" it.

Roon?

Roon.

I think she meant ruin.

Hunter Biden is a close personal friend of mine.

And we will fuck you up.

I've seen his laptop. There's some fucking crazy shit on there.

All right. Driver, let's go.

- I'm scared here. - Yeah.

You stay out of my way,

or I will make it my life's mission to blow up youse guyses world.

Molly Wells, you've made an enemy for life.

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Ciao. Buona Sera.