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1
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,308
Narrator: Coming up, what's got
Sal cruising for cougars?
2
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,643
Would you be willing to shave
all the hair off your body
3
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:12,845
and meet on Tuesdays?
No.
4
00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:13,979
[ Laughter ]
5
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:17,149
Narrator: What's got Joe saying,
"H2-Oh, no"?
6
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,317
You're a filthy,
filthy man.
7
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,285
[ Laughter ]
8
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:23,088
And which losing joker
will nearly combust
9
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:25,958
in tonight's secret,
spontaneous punishment?
10
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,026
[ Tires screech ]
11
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,862
Sal:
Prepare for something amazing.
12
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:30,929
Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?
13
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,631
[ Laughter ]
14
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,266
Murr:
I want my mommy!
15
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:36,068
[ Laughter ]
16
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,804
Sal:
I will never forgive you!
17
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:40,839
Joe: Larry!
18
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,875
[ Laughter ]
19
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,312
We are
at the Palisades Mall
20
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:50,182
playing everybody's favorite
"Wheel of Doom" knockoff...
21
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,451
All: "Wheel of Faces"!
22
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:54,253
We'll have to pick
a random task
23
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,622
out of this officially licensed
red nylon bag
24
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:59,858
and then use the officially
licensed "I.J." bow and arrow
25
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:03,062
to shoot at the spinning wheel,
also officially licensed.
26
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,263
Whosever face it lands on
27
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,998
must complete
that ridiculous task.
28
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,267
If you can't complete
the ridiculous task, you lose.
29
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,171
-Fellas...
-Here we go.
30
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:13,338
...it's back.
31
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:15,541
Let's see what
the trademarked bag has for you.
32
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,210
"Walk around barefoot
and ask mall-goers,
33
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:20,179
'Can I talk to you a little
about your family?'"
34
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,547
[ Laughter ]
35
00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:22,714
I'm not getting barefoot.
36
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,316
Well, you might not have to.
Just take a shot.
37
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,518
I want you to know,
I'm trying my best.
38
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,987
And as usual,
it's not good enough.
39
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,223
Here you go.
40
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,758
-Oh!
-Oh!
41
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,660
[ Indistinct shouting ]
42
00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,662
That's what you get
for opening your mouth!
43
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:37,763
It's your fourth shot.
44
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,364
Play 'em all.
45
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,633
[Bleep]
46
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:42,868
[Bleep]
47
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,136
Oh!
48
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,438
[ Chuckling ] Why did we let him
hit -- do it first?
49
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:49,975
[ Laughter ]
50
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:52,377
That's weird already.
51
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,113
Barefoot man in a mall,
talking about your family.
52
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,547
You don't answer
those questions, right?
53
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,750
[ Laughter ]
54
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:02,054
Can I talk to you
about your family real quick?
55
00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:03,789
[ Laughs ]
56
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,157
Can I talk to you
about your family?
57
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:07,693
[ Laughter ]
58
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:10,095
Can I talk to you a little bit
about your family?
59
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,898
I mean,
I'm just a guy in a mall.
60
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,766
I'm just wondering,
like, how --
61
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,236
how close would you say
you are with your parents?
62
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,371
Yeah.
Uh...
63
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,340
Pretty close?
Not so close?
64
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,242
All right.
65
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,410
[ Laughter ]
66
00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,351
Sal: He's still looking.
67
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:35,254
Try and figure it out.
You'll never figure it out.
68
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,930
[ Laughter ]
69
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,365
He's looking
at his feet.
70
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,670
[ Laughter ]
71
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,405
All right.
72
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:56,441
-[ Laughs ]
-"You weirdo."
73
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,744
[ Ding! ]
74
00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:01,380
-All right.
-Here we go, Q.
75
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,814
Ho-ho!
76
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:06,018
-Oh-ho-ho!
-Oh, it's a good one.
77
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,953
"Get a thank you for a massage
without talking."
78
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:10,022
-Oh!
-Oh, that's tough.
79
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,290
That's insane.
That's trouble.
80
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,693
[ Laughter ]
81
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,496
[Bleep].
You've got to be kidding me!
82
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,667
♪
83
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,803
-[ Laughs ]
-This is tough.
84
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,471
There he goes.
85
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,577
[ Laughter ]
86
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,812
No.
87
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,649
[ Laughter ]
88
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,151
Oh!
89
00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:42,888
And the first attempt goes
exactly how we thought it would.
90
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,457
How about this little kid
in pink?
91
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:48,660
Any challenge
that starts with,
92
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:51,830
"How about this little kid
in pink?" the answer is "no."
93
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,465
Don't do it.
Are you kidding me?
94
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,600
He might say thank you.
95
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:58,070
Oh, good,
do it in a bra shop.
96
00:03:58,072 --> 00:04:00,005
[ Laughter ]
97
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,140
Here's a home run idea --
"Don't talk.
98
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,876
Touch a young child
in a bra shop."
99
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,979
Uh-oh. Oh.
100
00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:09,081
Oh, no.
101
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,416
♪
102
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,389
[ Laughing ]
Oh, this is so weird.
103
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,262
What do you -- What do you say,
you little [bleep]?
104
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,631
[ Laughter ]
105
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:26,999
You can't talk, though.
106
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,700
How was that kid raised?
You don't say thank you?
107
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,902
A grown man comes up to you in
a mall and gives you a massage,
108
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,170
you don't say thank you?
109
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:33,505
[ Laughter ]
110
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,274
Uh...
111
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:38,277
Oh, here he goes.
Here he goes.
112
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,145
-3:00.
-Ah, all right.
113
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,081
[ Laughter ]
114
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,383
He got it!
115
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:47,686
Holy [bleep]
116
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,955
[ Ding! ]
117
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,657
-Here it is, fellas.
-All right, Joey.
118
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,492
Boom! This is it, right here.
What's happening?
119
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,727
"Recruit people
for your cult."
120
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,596
-[ Laughs ]
-Aw.
121
00:04:57,598 --> 00:05:00,132
We are
off the deep end today.
122
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:02,034
Please, don't be me!
123
00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:03,835
[ Laughter ]
124
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,640
I knew I wasn't getting out
of this [bleep] day
125
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,808
without doing anything.
126
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,344
I got an itchy top
of the foot.
127
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:13,679
That's, like, the worst thing
in the world --
128
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:14,813
the itchy top
of the foot.
129
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,947
Yeah, that's weird.
130
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,749
You know that?
It's a bad spot.
131
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,017
Also, worst place in the world
to have an itch --
132
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,152
on the count of 3.
133
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:21,687
-To have an itch?
-Yeah. 1, 2, 3.
134
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,021
-Inside your [bleep]
-Inside your [bleep]
135
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,390
-Hey!
-Right?
136
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,625
[ Laughter ]
137
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,760
-Here we go.
-You have to recruit someone.
138
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,562
It's not just talk to people
about your cult,
139
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:31,596
it's recruit somebody.
140
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,098
I'm recruiting people
for a cult.
141
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,433
-Do you want in, or...
-No.
142
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,500
Come on.
143
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,803
[ Laughter ]
144
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,971
You guys
ever drink blood?
145
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,740
[ Laughs ]
146
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,309
'Cause have I got the club
for you.
147
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:46,244
[ Laughter ]
148
00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:47,646
Excuse me.
149
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,314
Would you be willing to shave
all the hair off your body
150
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:50,682
and meet on Tuesdays?
No.
151
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,784
[ Laughter ]
152
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,152
You might want to work on
your opening line.
153
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,554
I'm just trying to help you out
as a friend.
154
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,457
It's a cult. I'm trying to hit
the bottom line.
155
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,359
All right.
Well, maybe don't go in so hot.
156
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,561
I mean, soft-serve it
a little bit, buddy.
157
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,196
Hey,
can I ask you a question?
158
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,431
Are you sometimes looking
for a way out?
159
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,533
Yeah, like, a way out.
160
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,835
Like, just looking
for something different.
161
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,002
Oh, not of the mall.
162
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,971
She's talking about
the exit.
163
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,106
Oh?
164
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:15,574
Like, out of --
just, like, out of --
165
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:18,210
escaping, like,
our mundane lives and stuff?
166
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,511
'Cause
I have some materials
167
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:20,946
that, uh, that if you'd like
to read them,
168
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,013
I can give them to you.
169
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,385
Well, I-I-I meet --
I meet with a group.
170
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,153
It's, like,
a support group.
171
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,021
Uh, or cult or whatever.
And, um...
172
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,923
[ Laughter ]
173
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,126
We get together on Wednesdays
and Sunday evenings.
174
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:36,027
We watch, like, movies
and we have, like,
175
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:37,629
fun social events
and stuff like that.
176
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,798
You may or may not have to
bear a child with Ramstein.
177
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,433
[ Laughter ]
178
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,802
-Ramstein.
-"Bear children with Ramstein."
179
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,237
There's finger foods.
180
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,738
And we have sing-alongs
and stuff.
181
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,640
It's a lot like a party
or a cult or whatever.
182
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,041
[ Laughter ]
183
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,042
It's like a compound,
184
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,411
so if people want to
crash there, we can.
185
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:54,045
You don't -- You don't have to
marry the leader.
186
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:57,315
You could if you want.
You don't have to.
187
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,284
There's fondue.
[ Laughter ]
188
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,553
All right.
It's a straight-up cult.
189
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:04,256
[ Laughter ]
190
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:07,392
You didn't recruit her.
You just talked to her, so...
191
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,361
I'm not gonna recruit anyone
right now.
192
00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:11,129
[ Buzzer ]
193
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,964
Here we go, here we go.
194
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,734
"Have someone check your breasts
and ass for lumps."
195
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,170
[ Laughter ]
196
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,238
Well, they're gonna find them
if it's one of us three.
197
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,840
[ Laughter ]
198
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,442
Don't be me!
199
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,676
Who is it?!
200
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,278
-It's still spinning.
-It's yellow!
201
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,613
Yes!
[ Laughter ]
202
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,216
-Right in my face.
-Oh, man!
203
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,318
-Thank you!
-I-I haven't gone.
204
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,686
-Whew!
-Well, let's do it.
205
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,254
Get them -- Get them titties
checked, baby.
206
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:39,257
-I got an issue, boys.
-Yeah.
207
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,992
I think there's an issue
with my lumps.
208
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,428
Oh.
Your lovely Gatto lumps?
209
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,529
Player, real quick,
210
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,198
you look like you know
the way around a titty.
211
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,933
Will you check me
for lumps?
212
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,901
Check me for a lump real quick?
I feel something.
213
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,570
I need a second opinion.
You help me out?
214
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:54,206
Come here.
Bro, come here.
215
00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:55,340
Come here.
216
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,108
Come here!
217
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,243
[ Laughter ]
218
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,879
Hey, bud, how are you?
Let me ask you something.
219
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,714
You feel that for me?
I feel, like, a lump.
220
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,517
Yeah, go ahead,
give a feel.
221
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,520
Good?
222
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:10,121
No. Is it all right?
223
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,190
'Cause I've been feeling lumps
everywhere. You feel that one?
224
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,025
Will you give that
a squeeze?
225
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,260
Come on, come on, Joe.
Get him.
226
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:17,462
I'm just checking for --
checking a lump here.
227
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:19,164
Go ahead. You're up.
228
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,066
Just do it.
Go ahead, man.
229
00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:23,435
Go ahead.
230
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:24,769
It's right there.
Go ahead.
231
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,805
I think I have a lump.
Help me out, man.
232
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:27,906
It's Bro Code.
233
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,741
It's Bro -- He's got him
with the Bro Code.
234
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:33,578
I might have a lump.
I might have a lump.
No, no.
235
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:37,282
Just figure out the lu--
Just figure out the --
236
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:38,683
Just figure out
the lump.
237
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,485
I'm just seeing
if there's a lump.
238
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,153
[ Laughter ]
239
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,190
♪
240
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,192
I might have a lump.
I might have a lump.
241
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,728
-Just figure out the lu--
-Joe, you're so close.
242
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,897
Just figure out the lump.
243
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,032
I'm just seeing
if there's a lump.
Come on, man.
244
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,834
I think I have a lump.
Will you help me out, man?
245
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:56,835
It's Bro Code.
246
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,703
[ Laughter ]
247
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,505
-See if there's a lump.
-But I can't.
248
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:02,107
Go. Go ahead, you got it.
There you go.
249
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:03,508
-Thanks, man.
-Success!
250
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,610
He did it!
He did it!
251
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,945
[ Applause ]
252
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,713
That is a win, Joe!
253
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,515
Lumpity-lump-lump.
254
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,350
[ Ding! ]
255
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,352
Narrator:
Sal couldn't get any followers,
256
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,888
so he's leading the way
to the loser board.
257
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,257
Today we're working
at The Bean coffee shop,
258
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,493
playing a game called
"Did I Deserve That?"
259
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:22,661
While manning
the counter,
260
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,496
the other guys will send
an angry "customer"
261
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:25,730
to throw a cup of water
in our face.
262
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,499
And what did we do wrong?
We don't know.
263
00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:28,600
But we're gonna find out,
264
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:29,868
and we're gonna have to
defend it.
265
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,536
If you can't get
the onlookers to agree
266
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,138
that you didn't deserve it,
you lose.
267
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,440
-We deserve it.
-We always deserve it.
268
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,242
We generally deserve it.
269
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:40,145
♪
270
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,913
To go?
No.
271
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,348
You're gonna have it here?
Okay.
272
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,349
He's gonna have it here.
273
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:45,750
All right,
send in the actor.
274
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,354
-Here you go, Sal.
-Here you go.
275
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,958
[Bleep]
276
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:53,992
[ Laughter ]
277
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,527
-Oh!
-Direct hit.
278
00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:57,495
Look at the water
on his beard.
279
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:59,864
[ Laughter ]
280
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:03,969
[ Laughter ]
281
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,537
I --
What happened was I...
282
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:09,174
I lit incense in the carpool,
and it went badly.
283
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:11,977
I lit incense dur--
284
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,545
[ Laughter ]
285
00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:17,749
I lit incense during a carpool,
and it went poorly.
286
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:20,085
Not everyone likes patchouli.
I do.
287
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,453
[ Laughter ]
288
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,955
It was
too early in the morning.
289
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,558
He's still got water
on his glasses.
290
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,462
I mean,
I'm the one driving.
291
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,430
[ Laughter ]
292
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,366
He doesn't even
give me gas money.
293
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,667
[ Laughter ]
294
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,002
Yeah?
295
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:43,842
Aw, he's serving you up!
He feels bad for him.
296
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,076
I-I didn't deserve it?
297
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,380
-Oh!
-I think he deserved it.
298
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:49,414
Yeah.
299
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,983
Not everyone
likes patchouli.
300
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,219
[ Ding! ]
301
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,154
So, is this
your first time here, or...
302
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,989
No, I come in here.
I work next door.
303
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,190
There you go.
304
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,392
All right, Q, let's go.
Here we go.
305
00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,160
-So, you're our neighbor?
-Yeah.
306
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,461
I like that.
That's excellent, because --
307
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,130
You're getting off lucky!
308
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:08,400
[ Laughter ]
309
00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:11,636
Geez Louise! That had
some real force behind it.
310
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,905
"I wouldn't stop doing slapstick
at Pop-pop's eulogy."
311
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:17,409
I wouldn't stop doing slapstick
at his Pop-pop's eulogy.
312
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:19,744
[ Laughter ]
313
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,413
So I guess he's still pissed
about it.
314
00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:23,782
But, like,
everybody's grandfather dies.
315
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,650
"What happened was,
my chair was uneven."
316
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:27,952
What happened was,
my chair was uneven.
317
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:29,554
The first time,
I fell off the chair.
318
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,656
I'll admit, it was by accident,
but it got a laugh.
319
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:32,757
[ Laughter ]
320
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:33,825
I got a seltzer thing,
321
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,393
and I hosed them all down
with seltzer.
322
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,962
[ Laughter ]
323
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,497
You know what
really pissed him off
324
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,466
was when I put, like,
a red nose on his Pop-Pop.
325
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,735
[ Laughter ]
326
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,503
You can't lighten up a funeral
these days?
327
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,641
Right?
Either way, did I deserve that?
328
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:52,343
-Oh!
-Oh!
329
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,345
Everyone is letting us
off the hook.
330
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,581
Your coffee's on me, buddy.
Your coffee's on me.
331
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,249
[ Ding! ]
332
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,619
Mm-hmm.
333
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:03,888
Can we get a lock
on that dessert case?
334
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,490
[ Laughter ]
335
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,125
Here we are, here we are.
336
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,793
So, just
a small black coffee?
337
00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:12,163
-Oh, snap!
-[ Laughs ]
338
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,932
I hope that starts
to clean you up,
339
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,667
'cause you're a filthy,
filthy man.
340
00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:16,735
Recycle that.
341
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,636
[ Laughter ]
342
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,810
I knew he'd have a beef.
343
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:27,378
"I mean,
I broke into his house
344
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,614
and redecorated
his child's bedroom."
345
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,583
[ Laughter ]
346
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:40,792
Here we are, here we are.
347
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,193
Uh, so, just
a small black coffee?
348
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,563
I hope that starts
to clean you up,
349
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,565
'cause you're a filthy,
filthy man.
350
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:48,666
Recycle that.
351
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:51,770
[ Laughter ]
352
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,138
"I broke into his house
353
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,106
and redecorated
his child's bedroom."
354
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,375
[ Laughter ]
355
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,880
I broke into his house and
redecorated his kid's room...
356
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,616
to help him out because
they're having a tough time.
357
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,551
He's my neighbor
up the street.
358
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:09,320
So I broke into the house,
threw up some crown molding.
359
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,322
I painted, like,
a nice little animal mural.
360
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,124
"I mean, the kid woke up,
he was screaming."
361
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,259
The kid
woke up screaming,
362
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,060
because I didn't know
he had a fear of zebras,
363
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,129
but also
I was kind of just...
364
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,999
[ Laughter ]
365
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,967
It was 2:00 a.m.,
and I had power tools,
366
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,936
and I thought
he would sleep through it.
367
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,440
Do you -- Do you think
I deserved that, though?
368
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,576
You don't think
anybody deserves that?
369
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,511
-Oh!
-How does he not deserve it?!
370
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:34,746
[ Laughter ]
371
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:36,614
[ Ding! ]
372
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,183
Your coffee. There you go.
You're all set.
373
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:41,653
-Thanks a lot.
-Here we go.
374
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,121
How often do you come here to --
Whoa!
375
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:46,591
You will never
get away with this!
376
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,860
[ Laughter ]
377
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:53,097
-The whole place!
-[ Laughs ]
378
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:55,099
[ Sighs ] That guy.
379
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:56,768
[ Laughing ] "That guy."
380
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:59,070
"I ate a chocolate bar
from his wife's hands."
381
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:02,807
I ate a chocolate bar
from his wife's hands.
382
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,009
[ Laughter ]
383
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,445
Last week, they came in.
His wife was here.
384
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:10,615
She had chocolate in her hands,
so I ate it.
385
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,350
I didn't know that,
in his culture,
386
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,452
that's the same as asking
for her hand in marriage.
387
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,187
[ Laughter ]
388
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,323
He thought
I was interested in his wife.
389
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,358
-I see chocolate...
-I see chocolate...
390
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,459
...I eat chocolate.
391
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:22,861
...I eat it.
392
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,596
That's how I was raised.
393
00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:27,098
[ Laughter ]
394
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,333
Do you think
I deserved that?
395
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:30,468
Honestly?
Probably not, right?
396
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,536
-Aw!
-Aw!
397
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,638
I didn't deserve that.
398
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,173
[ Laughter and applause ]
399
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,175
[ Ding! ]
400
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,611
Narrator: None of the jokers
deserved any of that,
401
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:42,614
so it's still just Sal
on the loser board.
402
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:45,016
Today we're in the park,
playing real-life heroes.
403
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:47,452
That's right,
a child just like this one
404
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:50,121
will attempt to shoot a complete
stranger with his water gun.
405
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,389
And right before he does,
406
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,391
we have to jump in front of him
and take the bullet.
407
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,361
And right after we save the day,
the other guys are gonna tell us
408
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:58,463
to say a really awful line
to the stranger,
409
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,698
that turns us from a hero
into a zero.
410
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,369
If you can't get out
that reputation-ruining line,
411
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:05,737
you lose.
412
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,377
Okay, Sal, you got to save
this woman's life.
413
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:13,745
-He's going in.
-There you go.
414
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,016
-Aw! Seriously?
-Oh!
415
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,918
-The kid dropped the gun.
-Did the kid just fall?
416
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,119
The kid just dropped the gun.
417
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,353
-You all right?
-Yeah.
418
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,655
Are your hands okay?
419
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:25,223
I'm cool.
And I just had fun.
420
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:26,824
Okay, good.
We'll do it again.
421
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:27,892
Don't worry about it.
422
00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:29,294
So, that makes the cut,
right?
423
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,595
[ Laughter ]
424
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,363
-Hurry, hurry.
-He's coming.
425
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,232
-Go, go!
-Hurry, hurry.
426
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,334
She's gonna leave.
It's not gonna work.
427
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,835
No. No, no.
No, no.
428
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:38,870
Stick 'em up.
429
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:41,239
-Sal.
-Sal.
430
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,607
It was perfect.
She was standing.
431
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,708
What are you doing?
432
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,543
That's the woman.
433
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:46,978
[ Laughter ]
434
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,781
Yeah, she was leaving,
so...abort.
435
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,182
She knew --
Come here, sit.
436
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,317
Seriously?
437
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,519
It was great.
She went like this.
438
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:55,820
I got confused.
439
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,488
No, no, you did well,
440
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,590
but the point is,
I want her to be sitting here.
441
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,526
And when she got up to leave,
it wouldn't --
442
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,860
She was
already walking away.
443
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,495
It wouldn't have done it
the right way.
444
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,097
So we're gonna pick
a different person, okay?
445
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,499
I mean, we can make an audible
of this whole thing,
446
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,335
just to make this
a punishment for Sal
447
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:11,903
and make the kids
keep [bleep] up the whole day.
448
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:14,605
-Oh, my -- Oh, my God.
-[ Laughs ]
449
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:15,907
-Yeah.
-Can we do that?
450
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,241
This kid's gold.
451
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:18,443
If he keeps messing up,
it's gonna drive Sal crazy,
452
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,078
so let's just make it
a punishment for Sal.
453
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,746
I don't know.
Is that against the rules?
454
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,614
What rules?
We make the rules.
455
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,249
-We are the rules.
-Aha!
456
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,418
We make everything go wrong
for the rest of Sal's turn?
457
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,987
Okay.
We have tonight's loser.
458
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:30,054
Narrator: Okay, then.
459
00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:31,923
With the only thumbs-down
on the board,
460
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,891
that makes Sal
tonight's big loser.
461
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,161
All right, Sal,
462
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,330
the lady enjoying the day,
with no sleeves on.
463
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,100
So, now we're gonna have the kid
shoot the wrong person entirely?
464
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,468
-Yeah.
-Great.
465
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:46,204
-We're ready.
-Okay, the kid's ready.
466
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:49,474
Here, look, look,
look, look, look.
467
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,676
-Stick 'em up.
-What? All right you...
468
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,977
Oh, my God.
469
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,579
[ Laughter ]
470
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,581
What the hell?
471
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,649
It's the wrong
[bleep] lady.
472
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,818
Guys, you got to be
[bleep] kidding me.
473
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,420
He's getting angrier faster
than I thought he would.
474
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,055
Oh, I know, this is much faster
than I thought.
475
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,957
Come on, guys.
476
00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:09,427
-We'll get this right.
-Here we go.
477
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,362
All right,
so, what did you guys do now?
478
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,931
He's gonna go shoot him.
The water gun's gonna be empty.
479
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,633
And he's gonna go, "Oh,
it's empty," and then run off.
480
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:16,734
I got it.
481
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,703
-Here we go.
-Here we go, here we go.
482
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,405
-He's coming, he's coming.
-Here we go, Sal.
483
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:23,307
Aw, it's empty.
484
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,309
[ Laughs ]
485
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,878
Should -- Should we pull
this kid out?
486
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,946
He's -- He's really bad.
487
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:31,983
Sal's coming over.
488
00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:33,751
Sal's coming over.
489
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,787
♪
490
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,792
All right,
so, what did you guys do now?
491
00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:42,460
He's gonna go shoot him.
The water gun's gonna be empty.
492
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:43,995
And he's gonna go, "Oh,
it's empty," and then run off.
493
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:45,163
I got it.
494
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,203
Aw, it's empty.
495
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,704
[ Laughs ]
496
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:56,240
Sal's coming over.
497
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,675
Sal's coming over.
498
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,744
The kid's
not getting his job done.
499
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,914
We have four kids.
Use a different [bleep] kid.
500
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,016
-Can anyone guess?
-No.
501
00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:07,285
Just now, not only
did he say it was empty,
502
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,487
but he ran around to me
and just shot me.
503
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,490
-All right, problem solved.
-Simple solution.
504
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,092
♪
505
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:20,798
Send the kid right now.
Sal's not ready, right?
506
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,303
Stick 'em up!
507
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,205
[ Laughter ]
508
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:30,975
Okay, this is a joke.
This is totally a joke.
509
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,643
You guys
are playing a joke on me.
510
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,412
♪
511
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,347
Change the bit.
512
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:38,015
I'm done with the bit.
I'm done with it.
513
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:39,884
I feel like I'm in
the [bleep] Twilight Zone.
514
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,320
I've never seen a breakdown like
this, five years of the show.
515
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,956
He ran up and shot her.
Everything was wrong.
516
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,290
She's soaked.
517
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,493
Why -- Why was the kid
released so quick?
518
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,261
Why did he say "go"?
519
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,896
I told the kid to --
520
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:54,165
Are you guys -- Are you guys
playing a joke on me?
521
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,067
Are you guys
playing a joke on me?
522
00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:57,668
No.
523
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,770
Guys, this is [bleep] insane,
guys.
524
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,105
This is [bleep] insane.
525
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:04,208
He just went, "Stick 'em up,"
shot the lady,
526
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,244
soaked her,
then ran away.
527
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,845
No, that wasn't
the kid's fault.
528
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,280
They sent him
way too early.
529
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,415
Pete said "go," and Chase
thought he was talking to Chase.
530
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,151
-No, I said not --
-I'm not blaming the kids.
531
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:15,153
But the kids know,
from the second we got here
532
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,121
that it was supposed to --
I'm supposed to block it.
533
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:20,024
Yeah.
So, what the [bleep]
is going on here now?
534
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:21,259
Can we just go?
535
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,394
All right, come on,
reset, reset, reset.
536
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:24,762
Reset. Reset.
537
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,465
-We're doing a good job acting.
-We were pretty good.
538
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,235
Okay, ready to go.
Here we go.
539
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,638
♪
540
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,240
-Oh, guys, hello?
-Yeah?
541
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:38,943
Um, tell him not to yell
"Stick em' up" loud.
542
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,845
Don't yell "Stick 'em up" loud.
You got that?
543
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,014
'Cause it is
very quiet over here.
544
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,315
-Got it.
-Now we know.
545
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,817
Here we go.
Yeah, bud.
546
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:49,620
Here he comes, Sal.
Ready?
547
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,522
Stick 'em up!!
548
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,658
No. Wait, wait, wait.
549
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,092
What the [bleep]?
550
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:58,196
Oh, my God.
551
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,198
This is exactly
where we want it.
552
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,466
I'm not doing this bull[bleep].
Someone else go.
553
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:04,335
This is [bleep] ridiculous.
554
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:06,470
Why are you --
Turn it off, turn it off.
555
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:07,872
Turn it off.
556
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,241
-Guys. Guys.
-He got the right person.
557
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,710
He screamed like
it was [bleep] -- like crazy.
558
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,545
He got the right person,
though.
559
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,813
You were supposed to jump
in front of him.
560
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:17,415
[ Water guns squirting ]
561
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,717
Get off [bleep]
562
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,986
We're -- We're here at the park
for Sal's punishment today.
563
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,421
He had the idea
564
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:26,724
that he was gonna be working
with child actors.
565
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,060
And of course,
nothing's gonna go right.
566
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,394
[ Laughter ]
567
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,898
What Sal doesn't know is that
we told the kids to mess up,
568
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:37,201
and had our whole crew in on it
to punish our boy Sal.
569
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:40,972
[ Laughter ]
570
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,309
Guys, enough with the pranks.
571
00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:47,411
How long have we known
this was happening?
572
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,879
I thought of it right now,
in the beginning.
573
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,047
-No, you didn't.
-I swear to God.
574
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,449
When we came here today?
575
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,251
-It was not a punishment.
-It was not a punishment.
576
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,819
Oh, God.
[ Laughter ]
577
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,787
Oh, I love
watching your blood boil.
578
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,556
Oh, you [bleep]
579
00:20:58,558 --> 00:20:59,890
[ Laughter ]
44354
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