All language subtitles for How I Met Your Mother (2005) - S01E06 - The Slutty Pumpkin (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)_Subtítulos01.UND

TED:
You know how Aunt Robin's
a big fan of Halloween,

always dressing up
in crazy costumes?

Well, she wasn't always
that way.

Back in 2005, she thought
she was too cool for Halloween,

unlike Aunt Lily.

Guess what came
in the mail today?

Our costumes?
Do they rule?

They rule.

And yours is 100% wool,

so you won't
get hypothermia

like last year.

Tarzan nipples blue.

You know what I love
about Halloween?

It's the one night
of the year

chicks use to unleash
their inner ho-bag.

If a girl dresses
up as a witch,

she's a slutty witch.

If she's a cat,
she's a slutty cat.

If she's a nurse...

Wow, we get it.

...she's a slutty nurse.

Robin, what are you doing
for Halloween?

Oh, I don't know.

Probably hanging
out with Mike,

this guy I've
been seeing.

Mike? There's a Mike?

You have a boyfriend
and you haven't told us?

No, I mean, he's
not my boyfriend.

He's just this guy
I've been seeing

for a couple of weeks.

( sing-songy ):
Boyfriend!

So why haven't we met him?

We're not really ready
to go public yet.

( sing-songy ):
Married.

How about we go on a
Halloween double date?

I don't know.

We were kind of thinking
about staying at home

and dressing up
as naked people.

Come on, Robin, trot
out your new fella.

Let us judge and evaluate
him behind your back.

It'll be fun.

Hey, Ted, you'll never guess
what happened.

Your costumes came?

Our cost... Yes.

That is why
we're best friends.

Hey, Ted, what are you
doing for Halloween?

Well...

( groaning )
What?

Every Halloween, Ted waits

for the Slutty Pumpkin.

That's right.

What's the "Slutty Pumpkin"?

You mean, "Who is
the Slutty Pumpkin?"

It was four years ago...

I was at this Halloween party
up on the roof of our building.

I'm about to call it
an early night

when out of nowhere
appeared this girl

in the sexiest pumpkin costume.

Wait, how can a pumpkin
costume be sexy?

It was carved
in strategic places.

So, uh, we're at the bar,

and I see her mix Kahlua...

Kahlua and root beer.

A cocktail
she invented herself.

And she called it...

"The Tootsie Roll..."

ALL:
Because it tastes

like an alcoholic Tootsie Roll.
Hey!

Can I please tell the story?

So we had
this instant connection.

She gave me her number,
but then...

ALL:
Something went terribly wrong.

Guys!

Then something went
terribly wrong.

Happy Halloween.

Sonny, where's Cher?

Cher?
Right here, babe.

I just met
the perfect woman.

She's funny.
She's beautiful.

She loves Star Wars.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's her take on Ewoks?

Loves 'em.

Oh, good.

I don't know why people
are so cynical about Ewoks.

The rebellion would have failed
without the Ewoks.

And get this:
She's a marine biologist.

She spent a year in Antarctica
studying penguins.

Oh, penguins are cool.

Kind of like
black-and-white Ewoks.

I approve.

Hey, where's my,
uh, Kit-Kat?

I put it right here
on this table.
I don't know,

but we've plenty
of chocolate here.

No, no, you don't understand.

I need that Kit-Kat;
she wrote her number

on that wrapper. Where is it?

Uh-oh.

Hey, Dracula!

Come on, give me the...
Give me it!

Where's the Kit-Kat?

Where's the Kit-Kat?!

Never found her number,
never saw her again.

But every year,
they have

a Halloween party
up on the roof,

so that's where I'll be.

You know, Ted,
it's been four years.

She could be engaged
or married,

or, God forbid, fat.

I don't know.

I got a feeling.
This could be the year.

Halloween is a night
of wonder and magic.

( all groan )

All right, bring
the mockery.

Fine, I can take it.

But, come on, wouldn't it be
the coolest story ever

if the Slutty Pumpkin
turned out to be my future wife?

Oh, on the off-chance
that that could happen,

maybe we should stop calling her
the Slutty Pumpkin.

That's a really good point.

That's a good idea.

Ted, is your
world ready

to be rocked,
rocked, rocked?

Can't wait.

So...

what do you think?

So, what do you think?

( squawks )

Wow.

Marshall, are you wearing
eyeliner?

Oh, yeah.

Weirdly hot, right?

We are so going to win the
costume contest this year.

First prize: $50 gift
certificate at the bar.

And how much did you pay
for your costumes?

$100.

Each.

Well, I think
you guys look great.

What are you going as?
Oh, like I even need to ask.

Hey, I want the Slutty Pumpkin
to recognize me,

and she knows me as...
a hanging chad.

What? She thought
it was hilarious.

Yeah, four years ago,

but nobody remembers
what the hell a hanging chad is.

What a sad commentary

on our national
attention span--

that we could forget
such a turbulent time

in our political history.

Sad commentary.

( squawks )

All right,

Polly got to pee.

Again?

Where you going?

It's an elaborate costume.

( power chords playing
pop intro )

* Highway to the danger zone

* Gonna take you
right into the danger zone *

( music stops )

No, no, not again,
not this year.

You're going as my wingman.

Flight suit up.

No thanks.

I'm sticking with
the hanging chad.

Oh, you're dangerous,
Maverick.

Your ego's writing checks
your body can't cash.

Okay.

Here's the plan,
and I crap you not.

I'm getting us

into the Victoria's Secret
Halloween Party.

Trust me, by the end
of the night,

your chad will not
be hanging.

We can get rejected
by supermodels

any night of the year.

Tonight I'm going
up to the roof,

I'm going to
have a few beers,

I'm going to wait for
the Slutty Pumpkin.

It's just what I do.

Hmm. Victoria's Secret models

prancing around in bras
and panties...

or Yale preppies reuniting
their stupid a capella group.

What's that, left hand?
"Right hand sucks"?

Word.

Heading up to the roof.

Well, boys, looks like
it's just the three of us.

What's that? "Self five"?

Nice. We out.

Hey, Chad,
how's it hanging?

Hey, word play, funny.

Whoo, nice outfit.

I'm a parrot.

You sure are.

Where's Mike?

He's meeting me here.

I ran late covering
the Halloween parade

in the Village.

There are, like,
a zillion gay pirates this year.

Seriously,
does my eyeliner look okay?

Yes, it's weirdly hot.

So, where's your costume?

( knocking )
Uh, you know,
Mike and I joked

about doing
something together,

but we decided
not to dress up.

Oh, geez.

Hi.

Uh, everyone,

this is Michael.

That is not his real hair.

Um, where's your
costume, Gretel?

You thought I was...

Oh, I was just kidding.

I've got to stop
making jokes in e-mails.

It's so hard to convey tone.

I think we got them beat.

I can't believe you
talked me into this.

I didn't.
You followed me up here.

This party sucks.

There's seven
chicks here.

There's six
chicks here.

Relax. The night is young.

It's going to get better.

Ladies and gentlemen,

as on pitch as they were
at Spring Fling '95,

it's my pleasure to welcome back
the Shaggarats.

CROWD ( cheering ):
Whoo!

Whoo!

* My Bonnie lies
over the ocean *

* My Bonnie lies
over the sea *

* My Bonnie lies
over the ocean *

* Oh, bring back
my Bonnie to me *

( all giggling )

( mimicking pirate ):
What be a pirate's

favorite kind
of sweater?

Arr-gyle.

MARSHALL:
And what be

a pirate's favorite
fast food restaurant?

Arr-by's.

'Twould think it
would be Arby's.

( regular voice ):
But, actually, it's
Long John Silver's.

( all chuckling )

Actually, I kind of
need this hand to eat.

Oh..

( chuckles )

Oh, yeah.

( both growl like pirates )

Oh, thank you.

I'm starrr...ving!

Thank you.

It's so nice
to meet you, Mike.

You guys are
really cute together.

Yeah, we've been spending
a lot of time together.

We're even getting to that point
where we finish each other's...

This cheeseburger
is so...

Good. See?

( chuckles )

I think you won
the dish-off tonight, baby.

This steak totally
bitch-slapped my pork chops.

MARSHALL:
That may be true,

but your rice pilaf kicked
my spinach in the crotch

so hard it threw up
a little bit.

( laughs )

MARSHALL:
Mmm... mmm.

Mmm.

Robin, you have
to try this chicken.

Oh, that's good.
I'm okay. Thanks.

It's really tasty.

I'm just really feeling
this cheeseburger.

MIKE:
Come on.

Just try a little bite.

Dude, I'm kind of
in the zone here.

Oh, for God's sakes.

Really tasty.

( sustaining notes
in harmony )

( cheering and applause )

Hey.

Hey.

So what does a fella
have to do

to get lei'd around here?

Yeah.

Right. 'Cause I'm
wearing a lei.

It isn't funny
if you explain the joke.

Let's bail.

No, Barney, come on.
I'm having fun.

Plus, it's really great to
see all these guys again.

Name one person you know
at this party.

Well, there's Ninja,

Back of Horse.

Hey, where's
Front of Horse?

That guy's a riot.
Where is he?

Okay, I'm leaving.

But just know that this
Victoria's Secret party

is on a yacht.

And what will be sticking
to that yacht?

The "Barnacle."

Really?

That's your
nickname now?

Yeah, the Barnacle.
The Barnacle?

That's it.

Barnacle out.

Have fun, Barnacle.

So... do you like Mike?

Do you like Mike?

Of course I do. Why?

It just doesn't
seem like it.

You won't share your food.
You won't wear a costume.

Oh, Lily, you know me.

I'm just not into
all that coupley stuff.

Okay, I know that stuff
looks dumb from the outside,

but it's kind of the
greatest thing in the world

when you're a part of it.

If you just gave it

a chance, you might like it.

Are you trying to get me
to join a cult?

Robin, Mike likes you.

If you don't start
meeting him halfway,

you're gonna lose him.

What?

Look, it's Halloween.

Just put on the girlfriend
costume for a night.

Okay, well, what am I
supposed to do,

buy him a giant teddy bear
or something?

How about you start
by sharing dessert?

I can share dessert.

Good.

He better want
the brownie sundae,

but yeah, yeah,
I can totally share.

Barney?

What, you're back?

That's right.

In a totally
new costume.

Every Halloween
I bring a spare costume,

in case I strike out with
the hottest girl at the party.

That way I have a second chance
to make a first impression.

What's with the face?

It's half you're pathetic,
half I have to pee.

So go to the bathroom.
No, there's a huge line.

I don't want to miss
the "Slutty Pumpkin."

So pee off the roof.

Ooh, Ted,
pee off the roof.

Whoa, I wouldn't do
that if I were you.

There's people
walking down there.

Come on, Ted,
who you gonna listen to?

Me or Mr. Goody-Goody
over there?

Yeah, whatever. You
guys got some weed?

A little
to the left, Marshall.

ROBIN:
Lily, squat down.

This is gonna be a slaughter.

None of these other costumes
even come close to ourrr...s!

Take the damn
picture. ( squawks )

Got it.

I still think we should have won
as Sonny and Cher.

Maybe if I'd worn
the red dress. Huh.

If I could
turn back time.

( gasps )

Oh, wow, this sundae
looks so good.

I could eat
the whole thing.

But, um, I would
much rather share

this small one-scoop sundae
with you, Mike.

Apple tart? Excellent
choice, Lily-pad.

Thanks, Marshmallow.

Well, let's dig in, Mi... Mi...
Microwave Oven.

Let me guess.

Every guy's used the lei'd line
on you tonight, huh?

You wouldn't believe.

I apologize for my gender.

Let me make it up to you.
Make you a drink?

Oh.

You certainly are
a charming devil.

I'm also a "horny" devil.

Yeah.

( chuckles )

No.

Oh, go to hell.

You know,

if you guys
like tiramisu,

we found this little
Italian place...

No, you found it.
I came with you.

Go on.

I'm just saying,
we love tiramisu.

I cannot get
enough of it.

We're crazy for the stuff.

I'm crazy, and
you're crazy...

...for tiramisu.

MIKE:
Right.

We love tiramisu.

Mm-hmm.

Am I wrong saying that?
No, no, no.

I mean, it just sounds
a little bit weird.

Doesn't it?

We love tiramisu?

Isn't really a group activity.

Loving tiramisu?

Right?

So this Italian place,
how is their cannoli?

ROBIN:
Oh!

Easy there, hungry.

Mmm.

Yeah, looks like we're
both hungry.

( chuckles )

Hey, is that Gary Oldman?

Wait... where?

I don't see...

Brain freeze.

Okay, Victoria's Secret party,
right now.

Nope.
Come on.

I can't stand watching
my delusional friend

waste another
precious Halloween.

Ted, the "Slutty Pumpkin"
is not coming.

She might.

( groans )

Come on, Barney, this
is not about the odds.

It's about believing.

This girl, she...

she represents
something to me.

I don't know.

Hope.

Wow.

I did not understand
a word you just said.

Lingerie models on a boat!

See ya.

No. See ya.

( laughs devilishly )

Ow!

Want to drink
the melty part?

You know what?

It's getting late.

I think I'm gonna

take off.

Hey.

I thought we were gonna
follow those breadcrumbs

back to my place, Hansel.

Robin, I don't get the sense
you like being with me.

I like being with you.

Not as much as you
like being alone.

You like...

eating your own food,
sleeping in your own bed,

doing your own crosswords.

Who uses ink?

Sorry.

Okay, I'm a bit
set in my ways.

That doesn't mean
that this won't work.

Actually, it kind of does.

Wait. Are we breaking up?

No,aren't
breaking up.

I'm breaking
up with you.

TED:
And then just as I was
about to lose hope...

She spent a year in Antarctica
studying penguins.

Kahlua, root beer...

Could this penguin be

the "Slutty Pumpkin?"

Uh, excuse me.

This is going to sound crazy,

but I met someone
up on this roof four years ago,

and they mixed that cocktail,
and-and they loved penguins.

By any chance, was that you?

It's you.

Everyone thought
I was crazy, but I came...

You are such a loser.

Come on, I came
back for you, Ted.

I penguin-suited up

to show you the
error of your ways.

And to score
Hula Girl's number.

Check and check.

Unbelievable.

Yes, it is.

Oh. Wait a minute.

You're that lame army guy.

What? No, No,
that's some other guy,

and he was a kick-ass
fighter pilot.

I cannot believe I
gave you my number.

Yeah, well, you did. Thanks.

Yeah. Well, give it back.

Well, uh, I don't think so.

I earned it fair and square.

I'm calling you.

But I'm never gonna
go out with you.

But how will you know it's me?

I'm a master of disguise.

Yeah.

( sighs )

Nice.

Come on, Ted.

Victoria's Secret party,
now, let's go.

I'm staying.

( sighs ):
Fine! Fine...

What are you doing?

I'm flippering you off.

Oh, sweetie,
I'm so sorry.

Seriously,

it's not a big deal.

He wanted to be a we,
and I wanted to be an I.

Dudes are such chicks.

Hmm.

You guys, I'm fine.

MAN:
Ladies and

gentlemen, the results are in.

And the winners
of this year's

costume contest are...

Lily Aldren
as a parrot,

and Marshall Erikson
as a gay pirate!

Oh, yeah!

Wait, what did he say?

Oh, who cares, Marshall?
We won!

Wait. Gay pirate--
where are you getting that from?

Dude, you're
wearing eyeliner.

Okay.

I just want everybody here
to know I'm not a gay pirate.

I have sex
with my parrot all the time.

That came out wrong.

Oh, yeah, doesn't matter.

We won!

I love you,
Marshmallow.

I love you, too, Lily Pad.

You guys, let me
get a picture.

( camera shutter clicking )

* I want to know
what it's like *

* On the inside of love...

I had a feeling
I'd find you here.

Oh, hey.

If you're here
for the Shaggarats,

you just missed
the fourth encore.

I never played any team sports.

Are we playing "I never"?

'Cause there's nothing left
but peach schnapps.

I played tennis in high school.

You know why?

Because it was just me
out there.

I couldn't even stand
playing doubles.

I just got dumped.

Oh, man, that sucks.

Yeah. It's okay.

I wasn't that into him.

Story of my life.

Everyone else is off

falling in love
and acting stupid and goofy

and sweet and insane,
but not me.

Why don't I

want that more?

I want to want that.

Am I wired wrong or something?

No.

Look, you didn't want to be
with me,

so, clearly,
you have abysmal taste in men.

( laughs )

But you're wired just fine.

Well, what if I'm just a...

a cold person?

Tonight Mike was willing to look

like a complete idiot for me,
but I couldn't be Gretel.

Why can't I be Gretel?

Because you just haven't met
the right Hansel yet.

Hey, one day, you're
gonna meet a guy

who's gonna make you want to
look like a complete idiot.

Really?

Yeah. He's out there somewhere.

Just like the Slutty Pumpkin...
pumpkin, pumpkin...

How do you do this, Ted?

How do you

sit out here all night
on the roof in the cold,

and still have faith
your pumpkin's gonna show up?

Well, I'm pretty drunk.

( laughs )

Look, I know that odds are

the love of my life isn't gonna
magically walk through that door

in a pumpkin costume
at 2:43 in the morning, but...

this seems as nice a spot
as any to just,

you know, sit and wait.

( soft groan )

* I want to know what it's like
on the inside of love... *