All language subtitles for 1 1 Nobody Wants This S02E09

Look at that.

Bed folds right into the wall.

So bleak.

We don't know anyone with a great place
who's about to die, do we?

I just can't believe that Fabrizio was
so sensitive.

I've said way worse things about people
who did not evict me. I read that one.

That one looks nice, actually.

You want me to live in the valley?

That is what you want from me?

Don't get discouraged. You're going to
find something. And you might love it

more than your place now. You never
know. Well, this one's cute. I love

style. Oh, it has a breakfast nook and a
bay window.

I might learn to knit.

Yeah? Mm -hmm. What are you going to do
with three bedrooms?

I don't know. Just thinking ahead.

Yeah, I mean, obviously, you know, in a
perfect world, we'd just move in

together, but...

It's all about timing.

Don't worry, though. You're going to
find a place you love so much you're

going to want to leave.

Yeah, that's fine.

I mean, she obviously wants to move in
together, but I let her know without

hurting her feelings, I don't think it's
such a good idea right now.

She seemed to understand, you know? She
said it was fine.

She said it was fine?

God, you're adorable.

Truly, what a pure soul.

What? I don't get it.

No.

When Esther says that she's fine, I
understand that to mean that she is not

fine, and it is my job to figure out
what's wrong. And that applies to every

other woman without exception.

Honestly, Esther's been saying that
she's fine a lot lately, and it's

terrifying. Maybe she is fine.

Last night, she pretended to take a
phone call while I was trying to connect

with her. The home screen was lit up. I
didn't have the heart to tell her.

I don't love that.

Nope.

Well, I wouldn't worry. You guys are
solid.

And I know Joanne and I are, too, but
I've got to tell you, I really thought

she'd be Jewish by now.

I can't rush it, you know? I don't want
to put pressure on her.

You know, I always think, like, if I
could choose to be Jewish, would I

to be Jewish?

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I love being Jewish, but
is it the best religion? I don't know. I

never got to shop around.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, your boy went up high.

Don't even try it.

Peace offering?

It's from Courage. Do you have any idea
how long that line is?

Fine. Oh,

wow, you have a ring and everything,
huh? Yeah, I was his grandma, so I

give notes.

Fine. Come on.

Close the door behind you. Yeah, I know
how to close the door, Morgan.

Oh, actually, I'd honestly prefer if you
stand for this because I want it to

feel formal.

Of course.

I'm sorry.

Okay, so for what exactly? I'm just
curious.

For being a monster at your dress
shopping.

Wedding dress shopping.

Right.

Wedding dress shopping.

Yeah. But Andy always says that you
can't start an apology with a but or

not an apology at all.

dart the apology with the butt. It was
at the end. Well, whatever.

You know what I mean. Yeah, fine. Okay,
you're right.

I'm sorry, period.

You needed a friend, and I wasn't there,
and I'm gonna do better.

So why now?

I mean, you had, like, days to
apologize. I just came to the

need my sister.

Okay, so there's a no problem.

No? Yeah. No. Come on. That's not...
That's actually not it. Okay, what is

I was evicted.

Fabrizio, like, heard all of that stuff
I admitted to on the podcast.

Honestly, I'm just flattered he's a
listener.

Fuck. Okay, listen.

I'm sorry.

I told Fabrizio that we gave him a shout
-out. What? I know.

Morgan!

This is your fault. It's the truth. I'm
sorry. Okay, well, guess what? We are

even. Woo!

Okay, all the anxiety just left my body.
Okay, fine. We're even. Right? Great.

Even Stevens.

You're forgiven. Good. So are you.

Hold on. Why don't you just move in with
Noah?

That's a great question.

Oh, there's a Noah problem.

Yep.

I feel ready, but apparently I'm alone
in that.

But you know what?

Moving in with someone before you think
things through can lead to seeing a

couple's therapist named Lois. So, you
know, things could be worse. What?

You guys are in therapy?

Listen, if I'm going to open up to you
about this, I need you to swear to me

that you're not going to hold it against
me, okay? You can't say, like, I told

you so or anything, all right? I said
it, and I swear, okay?

Okay.

So... We ran into his ex -girlfriend,
Helena.

And she was prettier than you?

No, not at all. Oh.

Okay, honestly, I've been being really
honest in the spirit of honesty and an

honest conversation. Yes, she's much
prettier than me. But anyway, she is

his ex -patient.

You're having a brain aneurysm right now
trying not to judge this, aren't you?

Mm -mm.

I support you going to therapy and
addressing your concerns.

Thank you.

Okay, and don't hold it against him
either, all right? Because I'm going to

handle this. Great.

I am. I know you will, and I won't hold
it against him. I was actually going to

invite you guys to, like, this happy
hour beer garden thing that we're all

to, me, Noah, Sasha, and Esther, because
I do want to get to know Dr. Andy

better.

That's a start.

And honestly, it sounds kind of fun. I
can, like, drop little hints about,

how fun it is to live with someone, you
know? Really subtly. Don't even bother.

I think you're right.

We shouldn't rush it, and I'd rather
move in with him when he feels excited

about it, not because I'm homeless.

Andy says the word is unhoused.

So when I heard about Helena, I didn't
have an issue with it because... Helena?

Oh, my God. We barely got out of that
one alive, right?

Oh, my... Sorry.

Go on.

Okay. Anyway, um... When I met her and,
you know, found out that, like, patient

dating is, like, his thing, I was, like,
obviously very upset, you know? Oh, my

God, of course.

Of course.

I mean, it does not look good.

Thank you.

Yeah, but life is unexpected, you know?

It served him at the time, and we had to
go through that in order to get to

here. Oh, yeah.

We sure did.

Wow.

Okay. Um, anyway, it also made me
realize that, like, I just don't know

about him.

Now, to be fair, Morgan... Yes?

You have not asked me a single question
about me in two years. What? Are you

fucking... You were my...

therapist, okay? I was paying you to
listen. I'm not supposed to ask you

questions. This is what I was talking
about over drinks.

Exactly what you said. This is what I
was saying. Yeah, it's worse than I

thought. Morgan, I think you should get
to know each other.

And he may turn out to be the love of
your life, right?

You don't want to mess all that up for
some woman named Helena.

Morgan, just give me another chance.

Please.

Get to know me.

Oh, fuck.

That's moving.

Okay, this one or this one?

This one's got like a Benny Blanco thing
going on. This one's more like cool

Japanese guy.

I don't know.

God, they're both so good.

Oh, I don't know, Josh.

I don't care.

What are you talking about? You love
picking out my clothes.

Not today.

Just do you.

Okay.

What's going on? And do not tell me that
you're fine.

Sash, I'm just tired of, like, picking
your outfits every single day and

you our bank account information and
showing you how to literally use the

dishwasher like I'm not your mother.

Okay.

Wow.

Just do, um, Sash, just do the Japanese
guy. That's what I was going to do.

Okay.

I like the Japanese guy.

Joanne, you find a place to live yet?

Not yet, but it's all good. I'm sure
something will come up soon.

I'm going to help you sort through
listings tomorrow.

Great.

Have you ever considered Orange County?

It feels like there's such cute places
over there. How dare you? Poop, poop,

poop.

Did you just poo -poo -poo? I feel like
she just poo -poo -pooed. Yeah, isn't

that what you say to, like, ward off the
evil spirits? Well, you did good.

Yeah. Orange County, no. I refuse to be
one of those people who enjoys the

beach. I just can't imagine that for
myself. Yeah, I can't imagine living by

myself. Oh, I can. Put something down,
and then later when you're looking for

it, it's still there. Sounds amazing.

What does that supposed to mean? Hi,
everyone.

Well, you're welcome. This hang will no
longer be boring because we brought a

game. Oh. Oh, hell yeah.

Answer these questions for deep
conversation, okay? To address conflict,

secrets, or spark play.

Ooh! High stakes, high rewards, guys.
Wait, your couples therapist gave you a

game? Um, she invented it, sold the
movie rights. I'm an associate producer

Really? This is very fun. We're
absolutely doing it. I'm sick and tired

having, like, the same boring
conversations with you guys. Oh, there

missed you.

Stop getting along. It's off -putting.
Okay, so, Joanne, I am picking you a

first. Great. Wait, don't look at it.
I'm allowed.

A time I pretended I wasn't crying
was... These are intense.

Oh,

probably that car commercial where the
dad, like, drives away and drops the kid

at college. No, no.

Joanne, no jokes.

You have to be real. The one where the
dad's, like, looking in the rearview

mirror, he sees his son, like, fading
into the... Sure. That's sad.

Joanne, something real.

Okay, um... Oh, I know what it is.

When Mom and Dad told us they were
getting a divorce.

Do you remember?

Yeah. I mean, I was an adult, and I was
happy for them. I was just really sad

that it took that long, and I was
embarrassed, so I hid from Morgan in the

bathroom while I cried.

You did?

I didn't know that.

I hate it when you cry.

Aw, I never get to see you guys be sweet
to each other.

I mean, to be fair, I hate it when she
cries because she's a really ugly crier.

No. She really is.

It's bad.

You guys, the game is working!

Weirdest thing I do alone?

Uh, I mean, I vote for every American
Idol contestant that I love on all of my

devices.

I've been 90 % right.

Can't unhear that.

Who's the best?

Oh,

I stole a song from Victoria's Secret.

When I got arrested in Thailand. That
was so scary. It was wild.

Oh, young Maggie Smith, 100%. This is
easy. When someone says, I read that,

they listen to the audiobook.

I know that I do that, but at least I
know it's annoying.

Do you?

Yes.

The voters have gone short.

I jump off, I hit the sand, but the
backpack is so heavy that I just

fall backwards anyway. It gets wet from
the beginning. I kind of just jumped in.

It's like a car. Exactly.

That's amazing.

Esther, I think it's your turn.

Oh, goodness gracious.

Okay, my deepest fantasy is... Okay, my
deepest

fantasy... Oh, I know.

To be Diane Keaton in Baby Boom.

Pre -baby.

Oh, she's just like a tiger lady, living
on the 10th floor, eating steak every

night at 11 p .m. No kids, no husband.

Right? She can do whatever she wants,
whenever she wants. Oh, my fucking God.

Seems like a new one. You don't let us
eat past 7 p .m. Okay, that's why it's a

fantasy. It's not real.

Okay, well, it kind of sounds like you
want it to be real.

I think you're up next. Yeah, I think
it's me.

It's my turn, my turn, my turn. Excuse
me.

What was a difficult decision you made
recently? Oh, this one's very obvious.

Yeah, sure.

My decision to leave Temple High. It was
a tough one, but I stand by it.

I mean, but that was like a while ago,
wasn't it? Yeah, I think that was a

decision to leave Temple High, but I
think the card says recently.

Sure, well, I can't think of anything
else. Really?

Yeah. Nothing from like, I don't know,
longing or deciding if you want to live

together?

I don't think this is the place to talk
about that.

Everyone else is answering, like, really
honestly.

Sometimes if you want to. Okay, the
game.

Tell you what, I'll just answer another
card. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You

can't do that. I don't even think that's
legal, bro.

Why would you not just answer the
question honestly?

Because it wasn't a difficult decision,
Joanne.

It wasn't? I'm sorry. I will explain
later, okay?

No, that's fine.

No, it is legal.

Yeah, you can't do that. Okay.

It's my turn.

What is something you need to let go of
or release?

Oh, this one is actually pretty easy.

It is the anger that I have towards my
twin brother.

I'm sorry.

You have a twin?

Yeah, Brannigan.

Sorry, Morgan, you did not know that
this man right here has a twin brother.

No. Nope. He didn't tell me. No. Well,
you didn't ask.

I'm sorry. I didn't have to ask if you
had a twin.

Right? Why would I ask them if they have
a twin? I mean, normally that's the

kind of thing that just comes up in
conversation.

Well, now you know.

Because of this beautiful game, right?
Who's next?

Nobody. Anyone wants to play the game.
Oh, wait. What do you mean? Everybody

else got three turns. I'm going to take
my third turn.

Great. All right.

What's your newest passion?

It's kind of easy.

Obviously, it's not new, but I've been
really enjoying my jujitsu classes

lately.

Sorry, what?

Jiu -jitsu.

Jiu -jitsu?

I thought you quit.

No, I didn't quit. I just stopped
telling you because you weren't

But I'm actually a purple belt.

Yeah, it's kind of a big deal in some
circles. In which circles?

I've never heard you mention this.

Are you joking? I invite you guys to all
my tournaments.

I thought that was Sam.

Okay, and now we know you have
tournaments that we're going to go to.

Yeah, I...

I started doing jujitsu because I was so
depressed at work and I was looking for

somewhere to put all the aggression I
had. Esther, I hired a job counselor.

Okay. Sorry.

It's okay. It's not okay.

You're shouting at him. It's okay. He
listens to me. Oh, my God. I got to

everybody else's problems. You know,
it's like, oh, Joanne wants to move in,

I don't want her to, and now she's
upset.

You said that? He's obviously doing a...
Bad job paraphrasing. And you, you make

us play this stupid game because you
literally don't know anything about the

that you were going to marry. Oh, no.

And it scares you. And here's the thing.
You're probably fine because I guess

you can marry the love of your life and
she still hates your fucking guts. So

anyway, happy for you guys. I do not
hate your fucking guts. Oh, really?

you just described it. I do not hate
your fucking guts.

I haven't seen Sasha that heated Star
Wars prequels.

Been for a long night with Esther.

I don't think Sasha's the one you need
to be worried about right now.

Why don't we talk about what's happening
with us?

Of course. Yes, you're right.

Okay, listen.

Joe.

I'm so sorry. I should not have said
that it was an easy decision.

I'm just a little confused, Noel.

You seem to have one foot on the gas and
one foot on the brake. And honestly,

it's reminding me of my previous
relationship. Am I not reading the signs

properly?

Because I assumed that it was a
difficult decision because I thought you

a future with me. You know I want that.

Then...

What's the problem? I mean, I know it's
fast, but that's life, Noah.

I mean, I got evicted. I need a place to
live. I'm in a happy, secure

relationship. Why wouldn't we move in
together?

You know why? Because we haven't
answered the question of conversion yet.

Okay? And I am scared. I am scared that
if we move in together now, then that'll

be it.

And we will never deal with the question
of conversion because we won't have to.

And I will be unhappy.

And maybe even resentful. I don't know.
I don't know.

I mean, I feel like I'm inching towards
conversion, but I can't guarantee it.

And what if it takes me till I'm like
100?

Are we going to be 100 and not living
together?

If you can't move in with me as I am
now, I don't see how we do move forward.

Joanne, part of being in a relationship
is dealing with these issues, and we

will.

I feel like we've been saying that a lot
lately.

And what if we can't figure it out?

You know?

And what if we're just too afraid to say
that out loud?

Don't say it.

Don't you think we deserve to be in
relationships where we can both be

who we are?

While still moving forward.

Randy.

Too hard letting go When you decide to
say

goodbye How am I supposed to live
without you?

I don't

not show it.