Original subtitles

No.

She did not say that. What? You told Morgan you thought her relationship was

moving fast and she said, when you know, you know?

Yeah, is that a weird thing to say?

Yes!

I hate it when people say, when you know, you know.

I think it's disgusting.

Look, I'm not in love with how the relationship started, but, I mean, I can

open to people knowing when they know, right?

No, sorry, you can't. But we know we know about us. Yeah, but we don't go

saying it, right?

It's like saying, um, I know something that you couldn't possibly know. I have

something you couldn't possibly understand.

But between you and I, I do feel that way about us.

Of course, but we know better than to say it out loud.

Okay, exactly, except to each other. That's right.

I can't believe I have to go wedding dress shopping with her today. I mean,

could there be anything more insane?

Um, however you feel about this is how I feel.

Correct.

Thank you.

You're not going to eat anything before you go? Oh, no. First day of a new job,

I couldn't eat a thing.

Very, very, very excited about Ahava. I feel like a progressive temple could be

exactly what I need. Maybe the way you know you know about us is the way you

know you know about Ahava. I'm hoping. I'm really hoping, because this might be

the perfect solution for me.

And by me, I mean us.

I mean, I don't love being the second non -Jewish rabbi's wife at that temple,

but... I'll accept it.

Let's just hope she's not blonde.

I don't even think it's what Morgan wants.

I think it's what Dr. Andy wants.

How do you know?

She's my sister.

I can feel what she feels before she feels it.

Yeah, but what's your evidence?

Feelings are evidence.

Don't worry. I have a plan. Boy. I am going to make her realize she doesn't

what she knows. Can I be the voice of reason here? No.

Hey.

Have a great first rabbi at the new temple day.

Have a great ruining wedding dress shopping day. I will.

We like to keep things loose at Ahava. We don't like rules.

Religion should be expansive, not restrictive.

Exactly. I mean, our congregation is religious, don't get me wrong. We just

of have a more modern approach.

Like, I don't drive on Shabbat, but if my mom's in the hospital, I'm not

to Pasadena to prove a point, you know what I mean? I think rigidity doesn't

bring you closer to God.

You know what brings you closer to God? Having an open heart.

Exactly. We want to open it up to as many people as possible. You know what I

mean? We want more Jews, not less. We're trying to put asses in seats. And you

don't do that by telling people that they can't marry the hot blonde they met

Coachella. Yeah. Let me tell you a story about a little Jewish fellow named

Steven Spielberg. Here we go. I love this one.

Anyway. Yeah.

Love him. When Steven Spielberg shows up to his film sets, he has no plan. He

has no shot list.

He hasn't gone over it with the actors. He just likes to get there and see what

unfolds. That's what we're like. We're like Spielberg. No plan.

No plan.

He's actually a congregant here. He's building a new wing over there. Yeah,

building a whole new thing. Yeah, the Spielberg wing. It's going to be right

there. Oh, my gosh. I know. It's pretty cool. By the way, you don't have to wear

the kippah if you don't want to. We keep it very casual when it comes to kippahs

here. Who's that bad boy?

Okay.

Yeah. Look at me.

I'm fancy free over here.

I'm raw dog in the world.

Look at that.

So much lighter in the face. Yeah, you grew two inches it looks like. Feels

good, huh?

I don't know.

You seem happier.

I'll try it. Maybe I'll try it tomorrow.

You're going to have crazy dreams tonight, by the way. Hope that's been

Hope you have a journal.

Clips.

Clips are a pain.

Oh, my gosh. You know, Temple Ahava is one of my top contenders for conversion

classes. I woke up this morning feeling extra Jewish.

How nice for you.

Thank you. Okay.

What do we think?

Um... Okay, a long pause.

Usually that's not good.

I don't know. It has a pajama feel.

But it's nice. Okay.

Did you guys see the panty lines? They were really, really obvious.

I'm 100 % fine saying something to Morgan. I just think it would be better

coming from the two of you, you know?

About the dress?

No, about how crazy this is.

Dr. Andy is not a real person.

I feel like Morgan's going to end up the subject of some murder podcast

everyone's obsessed with. Oh, please. You're being very dramatic.

I don't think you're being dramatic enough. I don't get it, Mom.

You'll call me for an hour to talk about your friend's daughter's house that

fell out of the escrow, but this?

Nothing? Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes for me, small things feel big, and big

things feel small.

Okay, but Dad, you can see that this is crazy, right? The whole world's crazy.

You know what? I'm done judging people.

Well, I'm not. And quite frankly, I'm judging the two of you for not judging

them.

Yeah, the article's really interesting. It was talking about how to modernize

the temple experience while maintaining traditions.

Totally. I read that exact same article. Did you?

Really enjoyed it. I read it twice, actually, and I couldn't agree more with

honestly. You've got to make sure there's substance.

Got to be substance.

Bingo. You're forgetting I actually sent you that article.

No, I think I sent you the article. It was really important to me. I'm from

college, wrote it, so really proud of her.

It was a great article.

But, yeah, you want to challenge people spiritually, of course, but you want to

keep it fun. Oh, it has to be fun. Yeah. Very fun. I mean.

I think a challenge is fun. We believe fun should be fun here at Ahava.

I think it's hard out there.

It's fun in here.

You know what I mean?

Love that. That's what God would want.

I'm sorry we didn't tell you that we bring our own lunches here. I know. I

actually thinking we should have like a document or something with all that

information. I'm going to share a note with you later. Open it this time. You

always forget to open the notes that I share. I'll never open them. I don't

why. That is fine.

You know, tomorrow I will know to bring my own lunch.

God, you know what I'm realizing? I'm supposed to teach the after -school

program. What if you jumped in there?

The kids are so great. We'd love for you to get to know them if you're

interested. I love that. I love the spontaneity and all that. I'm not... I

feel like I'm prepared.

But okay. All right. Yeah, sure. I'll give it a go.

Hey. Can you go whip something up real quick? Maybe I'll tie it to last week's

Torah portion.

Oh, I like it. Woo -hoo.

Come on.

Do it.

Great.

It has a horsey feeling.

What? Yeah.

I see the horsey thing. I'm sorry. Wait. Like, do you guys mean, like,

equestrian? Or... I don't... Don't ask me. She went rogue.

I mean... What?

What? What?

I thought it was fun. Here we go.

Are you fucking kidding me? Like, fun in a hostile way?

I thought it was funny.

Well, it wasn't.

I want to say something to her, but I can't figure out how.

This is like a complicated surgery, you know? And if I make one wrong move, then

one of us dies.

You know, this makes me think about my wedding day. I was so sure what I was

doing was the exact right thing for me. How little I knew.

All roads lead back to you, huh?

But you're right, Mom. I mean, someone should be sure they're making the right

decision on their wedding day.

There's no reason to rush into anything.

So this portion of the Torah is focusing on the two weeks before the exodus out

of Egypt.

Winter's over.

Springtime has begun.

Nisan is the month of renewal. It's time for a new beginning. I want to talk

about a new beginning I had last week. I just got out of a relationship.

Okay, I hate to interrupt you. What?

I want to hear all about the new relationship in a bit. It's just that I

quite finished.

Oh, wow, sorry.

Usually we just do the talking here.

Really? Yeah.

So it's a...

Class, but I don't teach pretty much. Maybe you could teach a little at the

Okay. Yeah, why don't you guys talk, and if there's time, I'll talk at the end.

Well, um, she's this great girl, but she just didn't think I had enough riz to

grow a mustache.

I really want a mustache.

She just, she really wouldn't let me.

Oh, Morgan,

that's the one.

I can't decide.

No, no, it's perfect.

God, it's really true. You know, when you know, you know.

Maybe, but sometimes don't you think you know, and then you wake up one morning

and you realize, wow, I really didn't know?

Joanne, will you just say it, okay?

What? Come on. You don't think I should be marrying Andy. Just say it.

Uh, that's not true.

And it's Dr.

Andy. Oh, my God. See, there it is. What? No, that was a joke.

Okay. But you do call him that, and it's kind of odd. You know, from the very

beginning, you've never said anything nice about him. Yes, I did.

Mm -mm.

Didn't I tell you that I thought he was polite?

No, no, actually, you didn't.

I can't drink enough. Okay, well, I think he's very polite. Okay, well,

what you say about people you don't like. So why don't you just stop being

a fucking liar, Joanne? You know what, Morgan? Okay, okay.

Wedding dress shopping can be very emotional.

Let's just chill out, all right?

Too bad we didn't get a family picture before this. At the end of the night

after we got engaged, you came up to me, and do you remember what you said?

Yeah, I said congratulations.

No. I definitely said congratulations, Morgan. No, actually what you said was

congratulations.

I did not say it like that. Yeah, you did. No, I didn't. So you're telling me

that you are 100 % happy for me.

Morgan, who's 100 % happy for anything?

I'm being serious.

But since you brought it up, you know, it is a little bit strange how quick

all going. Like, what is the rush? You know, you don't know anything about this

person. Yes, I have known him for years. No, he knows you.

You spent those years not knowing anything about him.

Tramp, look at you, okay? You're in a wedding dress.

It is so clear that you are jealous of me. It couldn't be more clear. It's like

you were screaming, I am jealous! Okay, no, this was a joke Morgan You can't

come to a wedding dress shop and not try one on you can if you're not an

attention whore He's right Joanne You

You can't move quickly in your relationship because of your issues.

true. And it's killing you. That's not true. Okay, I'm worried about you. I'm

worried it's what Dr.

Andy wants, not what you want. No, it is what I want. No, oh, have you ever

pushed back on him? Have you? Because you're a challenger. I've never seen you

challenge him. No, maybe that's who I was and not who I am. But can you just

admit that you're jealous? You're late.

But I love how on fire you guys are. It's going to be a great episode. I

want to do the stupid podcast anyway.

I was literally about to say that first.

Lord, give me strength.

Lock in, ladies.

Read your notes or something.

Okay.

I don't know. What does this mean? It just says Fabrizio. Oh, Fabrizio, my

landlord.

He's been super annoying lately, and so I thought we could talk about him.

because landlord issues are so relatable. I mean, I love Fabrizio. He

I know.

Remember when I threw up in the pool, and he had to drain it, and it cost like

$3 ,000, and he never knew it was me?

And he asked if I knew who it was again the other day, and I was like, I don't

know, but that's disgusting, and whoever it was really needs to pay for it.

You're a terrible tenant.

These notes, honestly, are boring.

Okay. Well, Morgan, what would you like to talk about then?

We could talk about my wedding. Oh.

Yep. I mean, I still need to pick a maid of honor. Picking a maid of honor is

one of the most important decisions you'll make in your life.

It's really not. Okay, well, whatever.

Since you don't support my decisions, you're definitely not going to be my

of honor. Are you joking?

No.

We should be able to hate each other and still be each other's maids of honor,

Morgan. Oh, sorry. I'm asking Ashley.

I'm going to be a fucking maid of honor?

Ashley. Yeah. Well, Ashley's a work friend, not a real friend. No, Ashley's

work friend who has become a real friend. And a better friend than you,

ask. Well, if Ashley becomes your maid of honor, then she's going back to being

a work friend for me. One that I don't trust and don't really like.

Excuse me.

Fine.

Whatever. Make Ashley your maid of honor. I will. I don't want the job

The only responsibility is, like, splitting the bill at the bachelorette

No, thank you. No, thank you. Will you please just talk about something else?

Well, I mean...

We can't say anything interesting about Noah because you're not allowed, so

that's off the table.

Guys are obsessed with privacy.

Everybody knows that. It's totally normal. I mean, I can say whatever I

about Andy. I mean, Andy hates his mother and was in a hit -and -run once.

Everybody knows Dr. Andy doesn't care about things like boundaries or privacy.

Well, I guess we don't have anything to talk about anymore. I guess we don't.

Okay, eyes up here. I'll wait for everyone.

Welcome to the Four Corners game.

Things are about to get very real. Very real. As you can see, we're surrounded

by four signs.

Strongly agree, agree, strongly disagree, and disagree.

I'm going to say a statement. You guys go to the sign that best describes your

opinions, all right? What's the point of this?

Well, Menachem, the point is that we are going to explore our relationship to

Judaism in our day -to -day lives and just explore how we live our lives in

general, right?

First statement, it is okay to skip Shabbat if it's the opening night of a

starring your favorite Fantastic Four character.

The thing is Jewish, by the way, for the record.

Julia Garner, a silver surfer. She's amazing.

She's amazing.

You don't like the Fantastic Four?

No, I'm neutral on the Fantastic Four.

You seem more negative than neutral.

I'm neutral.

Opening weekends are very important to the congregants of this temple. We've

a lot of industry people.

Shabbat.

We each worship differently.

Next question. It is never okay to re -gift a bar, but let's begin from your

puppy, even if it sucks.

Well, my old man finally saw my face on the telly. Made a little joke about the

size of his belly.

It's your puppy.

She won't know.

Didn't bother asking what she's fussing about. Oh, how they stay together.

I don't think I'll ever know. No Mel Gibson.

But only if I let it. I want to fall in love and not scare them away.

Okay, I get a really fun one here.

Kylie is the best Kardashian.

Uh -oh.

Vampede.

I get in trouble.

Timothee is Jewish, for the record. That's right.

There you go, Noah.

Put the hurt on this one, huh?

Oh, yeah.

What do you like most about her?

I like her dancing.

Doesn't really dance that much. Not known for dancing, but bet she's good.

Well, that was a spicy one.

Before we got to the 20 minutes of silence, what time works for you guys

Thursday? Um, I think maybe we should take a break.

Yeah, I think we need to pause the pod. No, no, I mean we should take a break

from each other.

Shouldn't I be consulted in this? No.

Thoughts and prayers.

Listen. I don't feel comfortable with you if you are not comfortable with me

Dr. Andy.

Yeah, actually, that makes sense.

And, you know, I might not always be clear about what I want versus what he

wants, but, Joanne, honestly, neither are you, okay?

I mean, don't you want to be able to talk about Noah more on the podcast?

Maybe, but... Yeah, and you can't tell him that. And what you really can't tell

him is that you wish conversion wasn't such an issue for you guys because that

would make your life a lot easier.

Like mine is. Okay, Morgan, but there is a very real reason why I am saying you

are going too quick with Dr. Andy. Okay.

Why?

Because I never said anything the first time you jumped into a marriage.

And I really regret that.

Sorry I had to say that.

Yeah.

Well, now you said it.

And thank you.

But this time it's different.

Yes.

They pack their lunch every day. Nobody told me to pack my own lunch.

Wait, nobody told you to pack a lunch?

God, that's borderline abusive.

I know. I know. I almost fainted.

Man, it's not just that Neil and Cammy are annoying.

I like this temple on paper. I do.

Hey, Noah, I gotta tell you, I'm already pretty attached to you working at

Temple Ahava. Like, I changed your email on my phone, so is there any way you

can make this work?

I don't know.

I got a bad feeling like I made a mistake.

Okay, well, bro, it's only your first day.

Yeah.

When you know, you know.

I just wish I didn't feel like if this place isn't the right fit for us, then

place is.

Oh, she's back. Okay, I gotta go. Hey, I'm going through some stuff, too, so

hand me back some... Hello?

Hey. Hey.

How was your day?

It was good.

How was yours?

Good.

Mama said, run before your soul gets sad.

That thing ain't worth it.

I better use my hands.

If you think I'd split up late at night, wipe this bitch up from my eyes.

Must be out your goddamn mind.

You got another bang coming You got another

bang coming