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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,510 --> 00:00:18,270 Good Shabbat. 2 00:00:18,590 --> 00:00:22,710 Good Shabbat. Good Shabbat. Good Shabbat. Good Shabbat. Good Shabbat. 3 00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:23,770 Shabbat. Good Shabbat. Good Shabbat. Good Shabbat. 4 00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:31,830 Good Shabbat. 5 00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:39,250 Sorry. What am I doing with it? 6 00:00:40,410 --> 00:00:41,770 Oh, thank you, m 'lady. 7 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:48,470 This room is really strict about the seating range. You'll get used to it. 8 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:50,549 Time is up. 9 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:54,350 Oh, yeah. I like you being at Shabbat. It's my favorite time of the week. 10 00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:57,210 I don't think it's crazy you have dinner with your family every Friday. 11 00:00:57,610 --> 00:00:59,490 Some people would say this is a lot. 12 00:00:59,770 --> 00:01:03,090 Well, family is important to me. No, well, family is important to me, too. 13 00:01:03,370 --> 00:01:05,190 We all share a Costco card. 14 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,150 You win. 15 00:01:09,030 --> 00:01:10,990 No phones at the table. Oh, sorry. 16 00:01:11,390 --> 00:01:15,350 Sorry. Morgan was just texting my mom happy birthday on our group chat. Group 17 00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:17,170 chat? On your mother's birthday? A text? 18 00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:18,289 That's it? 19 00:01:18,290 --> 00:01:19,830 Well, it's Lynn's birthday. 20 00:01:20,090 --> 00:01:23,150 Mother waits a whole day for the phone to ring. Day's almost over. Six o 21 00:01:23,370 --> 00:01:24,630 Do you both hate your mother? 22 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:28,870 No. Oh, I would kill to just be left alone on my birthday. I didn't know. I 23 00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:29,870 didn't call her. 24 00:01:30,970 --> 00:01:34,230 Miscommunication. Her birthday is the 8th. Morgan thinks it's the 6th. We've 25 00:01:34,230 --> 00:01:36,690 told her a zillion times. It just doesn't stick. Okay. Huh. 26 00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:38,610 Her 8th is the 6th. Correct. 27 00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:41,790 And her birthday is today. The 8th. Thank God I didn't miss it. Okay. 28 00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:43,850 Okay. 29 00:01:44,050 --> 00:01:45,310 Uh, what's the plan? 30 00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:49,190 What are we doing? 31 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,210 Um, 32 00:01:50,290 --> 00:01:52,870 I will call her. 33 00:01:53,190 --> 00:01:54,550 Oh. Hmm. 34 00:01:55,050 --> 00:01:56,190 Badest story ever told. 35 00:01:56,410 --> 00:01:58,410 Can I have a pickle, please? You don't do anything together? 36 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,300 Nothing? Not even a cake or a candle? 37 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:02,620 I mean, a restaurant reservation. 38 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,320 Please, a balloon bouquet or an edible arrangement. 39 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,360 I mean, don't you have any family traditions? 40 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:10,300 Yes, we have family traditions. 41 00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:13,220 We just don't do them. 42 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,280 Well, 43 00:02:17,460 --> 00:02:21,760 when I was little, my mom used to get takeout for a birthday breakfast and 44 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:22,980 get donuts instead of a cake. 45 00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:25,340 Oh, I'm sorry. That sounds hard. 46 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:28,260 No, that sounds good. Donuts are great. Okay, so let's do that. 47 00:02:29,089 --> 00:02:33,610 Oh, I don't think my family's really that type. Come on. You're joining my 48 00:02:33,610 --> 00:02:34,630 family for our traditions. 49 00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:36,970 I want to be part of that stuff with your family, too. 50 00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:39,410 Please, listen. 51 00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:40,630 It'll be really fun. 52 00:02:40,830 --> 00:02:43,990 I'll plan the whole thing. Text at 6 o 'clock. It's okay, Dad. 53 00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:46,470 Today's not our mom's birthday. Still. 54 00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:48,870 We have 48 hours. Yay. 55 00:02:49,410 --> 00:02:50,410 Oh, yay. 56 00:02:52,430 --> 00:02:55,810 Wait, so why are you making Mom celebrate her birthday with us? Is she 57 00:02:56,070 --> 00:02:59,290 No, she's fine. I just think it would be nice to circle back to family 58 00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:01,150 traditions. It's important to Mom. 59 00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:04,290 Yeah, right. We both know Mom would rather do her little rituals with Goldie 60 00:03:04,290 --> 00:03:07,650 where they, like, eat chocolate and mushrooms and cry outside. Okay, fine. 61 00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:12,790 means a lot to Noah, okay? It was his idea, and family traditions are weirdly 62 00:03:12,790 --> 00:03:13,790 important to him. 63 00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:16,870 Okay, so you want to impress Noah by doing something we haven't done in 20 64 00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:20,710 years. Of course you don't get it. Okay, I am in a mature adult partnership. 65 00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:26,470 Noah and I are figuring out how to be a we, and it's like a silent negotiation. 66 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:27,910 Ew. 67 00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:29,770 Hi. Hey. 68 00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:33,970 I'm working on my toast for Lynn tomorrow. How long is yours going to be, 69 00:03:33,970 --> 00:03:35,190 because it's weird if mine's longer? 70 00:03:36,070 --> 00:03:38,090 Um, no, we don't do toasts. 71 00:03:38,690 --> 00:03:40,730 Toasts are for people who have nice things to say about each other. 72 00:03:41,130 --> 00:03:42,610 Got it. Okay. Hey, here. 73 00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:44,610 Can't just drink coffee all day. 74 00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:46,830 Babe. 75 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,260 Tracking my water intake? 76 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,180 God, that's so sweet. 77 00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:51,720 Morgan, did you hear that? 78 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,220 Yeah. Don't you have, like, a job to go to or something? 79 00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:57,700 Yeah, things are just a little bit slow right now. 80 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,340 People are interested in working with Big Noah. 81 00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:02,660 Knocking on my door a little bit less. 82 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,420 Personally, I think he peaked at his first sermon. Oh, my gosh. He actually 83 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:10,120 the cover of Jewish Journal, which, like, you don't know. You don't even 84 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,360 how hard that is to get. Oh, God, Jesus. I thought you had, like, the day off or 85 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,240 something. I didn't realize this would turn into such an awkward conversation. 86 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,250 Okay, 87 00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:22,050 can we just talk about how all of a sudden you're a babe girl? 88 00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:26,730 You guys, do anything deep, okay? I've never heard her call anyone babe before. 89 00:04:26,810 --> 00:04:28,050 Okay, can we talk about something else? 90 00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:31,250 Um, do you have anything to share, Morgan? 91 00:04:32,570 --> 00:04:34,550 Nope, I guess we'll have to pivot to audience questions. 92 00:04:35,430 --> 00:04:39,390 A guy ghosted me after I waited three months to have sex with him. 93 00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:40,790 What do I do? 94 00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:42,010 First of all, willpower. 95 00:04:42,390 --> 00:04:44,310 Um, mind if I throw mine two cents in? 96 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,260 I thought you didn't want anything to do with the podcast. 97 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,740 Well, I don't want any stuff about me on it. But, you know, I don't mind 98 00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:52,740 offering a little advice on one question. 99 00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:54,580 It's what I do. 100 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,920 Okay, I don't know. I think a male perspective would be nice. Okay, great. 101 00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:02,480 First of all, on behalf of all men, sorry, ghosting is never cool. 102 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:07,280 In the Talmud, Hillel offers us the golden rule. That which is hateful to 103 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:11,100 do not do to others. Now, we hear it all the time. Treat others how you want to 104 00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:11,879 be treated. 105 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:12,880 But... 106 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,820 I think the reverse applies as well. How you treat others is how you treat 107 00:05:16,820 --> 00:05:21,480 yourself. So, if he can't be honest with you, he's not honest with himself. 108 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:22,720 You don't want this guy. 109 00:05:24,860 --> 00:05:27,500 Okay, Rabbi. That was a really good answer. 110 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,860 Yeah, I was just going to say, like, she might be bad in bed, but... Next 111 00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:31,860 question. 112 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,600 Okay, on to the next. 113 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:39,780 Can I go out with a guy my good friend dated but was never official with? No. 114 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,120 No. 115 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,800 I'll take this one, Joanne. 116 00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:46,900 Hopefully it ended amicably between them, but because it ended, yes, you 117 00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:50,380 every right to pursue a relationship. I'm so sorry. I really, really disagree. 118 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:55,160 You can't ever date the ex of a friend under any circumstance, and I'm sure 119 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,620 Hillel would agree. Well, what about the rules of love? 120 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:01,060 Being territorial over someone it didn't work out with isn't cool, and they have 121 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:03,200 to take a chance if they think this might be their person. 122 00:06:03,540 --> 00:06:06,740 Okay, next question. Where's the last crazy place you guys had sex? 123 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,280 Um... 124 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,180 We don't do that. What do you mean? You don't have sex? We have. 125 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:17,900 You know what I mean. Okay, fine. Lame. Give me one juicy thing about your 126 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:21,480 relationship. The freakiest thing you guys have ever done. We don't do 127 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,620 that the audience would find interesting. 128 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,280 Oh, wait. That's not true. Oh, okay. Tell me more, Rabbi. 129 00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:28,820 Say more. Into the mic. Sorry. Into the mic. I'm sorry. Sorry. 130 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,240 Absolutely. Sorry about that. Let's get back to it. 131 00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:35,040 So the thing about Morgan is that she doesn't understand privacy. 132 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:39,520 Based on the fact that all her passwords are 1234 and I have a folder full of 133 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,040 her nudes on my phone. What the fuck? 134 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:42,940 God, now I have to change all my passwords. 135 00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:44,380 Don't smile. 136 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,560 It's not cute. 137 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,580 Hey, how much time do you think until Mary gets back? 138 00:06:53,220 --> 00:06:56,520 42 minutes, you sick fuck. We are not going again. 139 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,440 No, I was just thinking like we can, you know. 140 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:04,480 Have some dessert. Watch something funny on TV. I love dessert. I love this 141 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,480 idea. What do we have? 142 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,900 You were... I was first. 143 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,680 No, I was clearly first. 144 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,960 Okay, we've got ice cream sandwiches. 145 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,240 Ice cream sandwich. 146 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:14,900 Thank you, babe. 147 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,060 Hello. Oh, God. Mom. 148 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,040 What? What are you doing here? 149 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,980 I thought we grabbed your key back. 150 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,800 Don't worry. I made a copy. 151 00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:27,160 Could you excuse us for a moment, please? 152 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:28,520 Oh, you... 153 00:07:28,590 --> 00:07:30,350 So great to see you, too. 154 00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:31,630 That's quite an outfit. 155 00:07:31,730 --> 00:07:32,730 Oh, it's my pleasure. 156 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:34,790 Very original. 157 00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:37,010 Sweetheart. 158 00:07:39,330 --> 00:07:40,630 You're both half naked. 159 00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:44,570 I mean, it's like a spark has reignited in this marriage. 160 00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:46,030 Yeah. 161 00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:48,690 But it's not going to last. 162 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:53,730 It's not? Why? What do you know? What I know is that you need to make the most 163 00:07:53,730 --> 00:07:54,730 of this moment. 164 00:07:55,790 --> 00:07:57,090 Okay. I mean, I think I am. 165 00:07:58,250 --> 00:07:59,390 Have another baby. 166 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,170 Oh, Mom. 167 00:08:01,810 --> 00:08:02,810 No. 168 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,370 Mary's perfect for one hit wonders. 169 00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:09,270 We're not going to have another baby. Mary's amazing, but there is only one of 170 00:08:09,270 --> 00:08:12,130 her. And babies, babies are a blessing. 171 00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:13,850 And we need more. 172 00:08:14,190 --> 00:08:16,070 And I can't rely on Noah anymore. 173 00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:18,830 Who knows how long it will take him to come to his senses. 174 00:08:19,270 --> 00:08:20,710 I could be dead by then. 175 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,250 Oh, Mom. 176 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:24,850 What? I don't want you to die. 177 00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,070 Don't worry. 178 00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:29,930 I will always be with you. 179 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,570 I am going to need that key back. 180 00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:34,010 No. 181 00:08:41,049 --> 00:08:41,989 Hi, Dad. 182 00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:42,990 Hey, sweetheart. 183 00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:46,450 Don't get up or help with any of this stuff. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know your 184 00:08:46,450 --> 00:08:47,369 arms were broken. 185 00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:48,530 Good. Hey, Henry. 186 00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:50,290 Hey, Mel. Great to see you. How are you? 187 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:55,400 I'm okay. I'm okay. Thank you for asking. They actually hired a new head 188 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:59,240 at my temple, and so it's been a big change, and I'm kind of... Hey, do you 189 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,740 to see a picture of the new guy I'm dating? 190 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,140 Oh, look there. 191 00:09:02,820 --> 00:09:03,820 Cute, right? 192 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:05,800 Oh, yeah, he's very cute. 193 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,180 That's one of his chihuahuas. He's got three. 194 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:12,540 Three chihuahuas. Yeah. We had a fight last night, and he still hasn't texted 195 00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:17,100 me. No, Dad, we are focusing on Mom today, right now, and for the whole rest 196 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:17,859 the day, okay? 197 00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:18,719 All right. 198 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:19,399 I'm serious. 199 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,100 I'm serious, too. Morgan is bringing Thai food. What's next? 200 00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:25,580 Decorations. Decorations. Okay. Oh! Happy birthday! 201 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000 Happy birthday! 202 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:28,220 Yay! 203 00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:33,660 Joanne, when do you think this will wrap up so I can tell Goldie? 204 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,980 I don't think asking when it will end is really in the spirit of the event, Mom. 205 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,440 Well, you know, I firmly believe you have to spend your birthday in the 206 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,360 you want to manifest for the coming year. I need peace today. I don't want 207 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:46,900 fighting. I don't want any fighting. 208 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,600 No, there's no fighting. We're all here to celebrate you, Mom. Look at all the 209 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,499 stuff Noah brought. 210 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,500 And we got donuts. 211 00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:57,210 And he bought a tiara, also these temporary tattoos that say Girl Power. 212 00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:58,310 them on. It's very inspiring. 213 00:09:58,630 --> 00:09:59,690 Girl Power. Girl Power. 214 00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:02,690 Oh, my God. I always wanted a tramp stamp. 215 00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:05,170 Today's the day. Girl Power. Let's do it. 216 00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:06,750 Let's do it. Hi. 217 00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:08,030 Hey. 218 00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:09,430 This is Dr. Andy. 219 00:10:09,930 --> 00:10:11,250 Who? What? Hi. 220 00:10:11,470 --> 00:10:13,210 I am Morgan's boyfriend. 221 00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:14,590 Oh. 222 00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:19,450 But please just call me Andy. Drop the doctor. I don't need that. Hey, Andy. 223 00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:22,370 I love your pants. Thank you. I'm so sorry. I'm confused. 224 00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:26,970 Are you an escort or... Are you doing a prank? Oh, my gosh. Well, this is 225 00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:29,490 Joanne. Yeah. Has to be. That's a Joanne response. 226 00:10:29,770 --> 00:10:30,770 Yeah, I know, right? 227 00:10:30,970 --> 00:10:34,210 You immediately just walled up. Anyway, I love it. I'm just so honored to meet 228 00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:36,090 all of you all. I can't wait to get to know you. 229 00:10:36,450 --> 00:10:38,850 I'm going to put this down right there, I bet. Thank you, baby. 230 00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:43,230 What? 231 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,220 He's my boyfriend. I just told you. 232 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:49,299 Not bad. 233 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,179 I like him. 234 00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:50,979 Thank you. 235 00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:52,800 I think he's sexy. What's going on? 236 00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:57,540 She is fucking nuts if she thinks she's in charge of me having a whole ass baby. 237 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,420 This Handmaid's Tale? 238 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:03,220 I never saw it past season one, but I don't think it gets any better for the 239 00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:04,220 gal. 240 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,700 I don't know. I think I hate the idea. 241 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,120 When she first brought it up, I was like, absolutely not. Right? 242 00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:13,400 Now that you seem to be like, oh, it's never going to happen, I don't really 243 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,400 know which way I'm leaning. 244 00:11:16,450 --> 00:11:20,910 No, I mean, I just loved it when Mary was little and she'd have a little 245 00:11:20,910 --> 00:11:24,870 tantrum and then she'd tire herself out and she'd fall asleep in my chest. I 246 00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:29,090 loved that. Josh, we are five years away from being empty nesters. 247 00:11:29,490 --> 00:11:31,510 We are so close. Think about the stuff we could do. 248 00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:36,970 You could finally get your ear pierced. We could take dance class. We could try 249 00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:37,970 new drugs. 250 00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:40,630 We could live in, like, a cool neighborhood instead of, like, Wright 251 00:11:40,630 --> 00:11:41,630 District neighborhood. 252 00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:43,950 We could stay in bed. 253 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,860 All of Sunday, never get out of the bed. This is the stuff we never got to do 254 00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:48,900 before we had Miri. 255 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,780 All right, rock and roll. I'll do all this stuff with you. 256 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:53,980 Really? Uh -huh. 257 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:55,460 Sash. 258 00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:58,000 Except for the dancing. I'm too tall to dance. 259 00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:02,660 Hey, who's that Tony guy Dad keeps talking about? I mean, I didn't even 260 00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:06,140 and Pat broke up. Okay, I am not fucking talking about Pat. What is happening? 261 00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:08,420 How do I not know that you have a boyfriend? 262 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,459 Who is he? 263 00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:12,170 I mean... Where did he come from? How long has this been going on? 264 00:12:12,410 --> 00:12:15,370 Well, I've known him for a little while, but this all is very new. 265 00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:20,270 Okay, I saw you less than 24 hours ago, so... And since then, you've sent me 266 00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:23,110 like a thousand text messages asking whether or not you have a mustache. 267 00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:26,570 Okay, I was trying to be private while I figured out how I felt, okay? I do 268 00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:29,270 understand privacy, Joanne. You call me about everything. 269 00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:32,780 You call me before a date, after a date, half the time you call me when you're 270 00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:37,160 on the date. So don't act like it's normal that you bring some random guy 271 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:41,160 who I've never even heard of to mom's birthday and say he's your boyfriend. 272 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,700 He's not random, all right? 273 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,880 You're not the only one who gets to have a mature adult partnership. 274 00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:49,160 A mature adult partnership. Yeah. We're on the same planet. 275 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,139 You know what? 276 00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:53,860 I'm gonna go help my boyfriend, Andy, set the table. 277 00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:58,540 Oh, man, I'm telling you, it is... Just really hard dating at my age. 278 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,660 I wish I came out earlier. 279 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:04,860 This all wouldn't just feel so new to me. Trust me. Whenever you get out 280 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:05,839 it's always confusing. 281 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,500 We all feel like we're messing up all the time. You know? 282 00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,460 I think you're doing a great job. 283 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,760 Really? I do. I absolutely do. I also think you need to give Tony a text. 284 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:16,360 I should text him? 285 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:17,740 Yeah, you should text him. 286 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,460 Become worthy of the relationship you want. 287 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:23,960 You're really good at this. 288 00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:26,390 Traditionally, the tops text first. 289 00:13:27,810 --> 00:13:30,090 I'm kidding. I'm not going to tell you what position I am. 290 00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:32,850 I'm going to text you. Thank you. My pleasure. Thank you. 291 00:13:36,770 --> 00:13:37,749 Hey. Hey. 292 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,030 Having fun? You know, Henry and I were bonding. 293 00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:43,090 I think I said something that maybe landed with him. Great. Well, if you 294 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,170 letting him talk about himself, he'll become his favorite person. 295 00:13:45,770 --> 00:13:49,670 Hey, can you go get to know Morgan's boyfriend? 296 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,149 You know. 297 00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:54,350 And do not come back with just, he's from Ohio, I need details. 298 00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:58,729 Girl power. 299 00:13:58,730 --> 00:13:59,910 Girl power, thank you. 300 00:14:01,030 --> 00:14:03,970 Oh, hey, Mom, will you help me find the fun plates in the sauna? 301 00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:05,950 I love the fun plates, okay? 302 00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:07,750 We're pulling them out? Yeah. 303 00:14:08,910 --> 00:14:10,790 I think they're by the snowman. 304 00:14:11,410 --> 00:14:12,470 Let me look. 305 00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:13,829 Uh -huh. 306 00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:16,170 I can't believe we're pulling them out this year. 307 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:20,440 No, what? Stop looking for the fun place. Mom, I don't care about the fun 308 00:14:20,540 --> 00:14:23,720 okay? I don't know. Stop, stop. You told me you wanted the fun place. 309 00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:27,480 Did you know about Dr. Andy? He's so annoying. 310 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,520 Like, is he even really a real doctor? 311 00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:31,520 He's giving more life coach vibes. 312 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,020 Well, she might have mentioned it. I'm not sure. 313 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:38,500 You know, I can never keep up with your sister. One day she's converting. The 314 00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:41,400 next day she's not converting. Mom, that was me. 315 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:46,020 Both my girls are wild cards. And you know, I'm not worried about Morgan's 316 00:14:46,460 --> 00:14:47,660 I have strong intuition. 317 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,040 I like him. 318 00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:52,780 You're wrong. Something's off. It feels weird. Otherwise, why would she have 319 00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:56,120 kept this from me for even a second? We tell each other everything. It's like, 320 00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:59,840 what if he's got her in some Ponzi scheme or a pyramid scheme? 321 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,920 Remember when she lost all her money to that guy who said he was going to 322 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:06,900 reinvent the hot dog for millennials and she kept saying, it's a hot dog for us. 323 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:11,300 Maybe he's just married. No, Morgan's told me about plenty of married men. 324 00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,680 can't be it. Are you guys talking about me and Tony? 325 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:15,500 No, honey. 326 00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:19,020 And here's some delicious rice. 327 00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:22,300 Oh, baby, can you pour me some water so I don't get dehydrated? 328 00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:24,260 Of course, princess. 329 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:30,820 Of course, come here. 330 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,200 I'm here. 331 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,020 Beautiful. So cute. 332 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:40,520 So how'd you two meet? What's your story? Give me every little detail. 333 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:41,800 Okay. Well. 334 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,020 You go. Okay. We met in therapy. 335 00:15:45,420 --> 00:15:47,100 Group therapy. 336 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,960 Well, no, not group therapy. 337 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,140 But that's cool. Keep guessing. 338 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,920 The waiting room. 339 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,160 Nope. 340 00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,840 Getting warmer, though. Yeah. All right. Let me think here. 341 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:02,680 The parking lot. 342 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:07,540 No, no, wait. The elevator from the parking lot. You met in the elevator. 343 00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:08,540 Morgan's therapist. 344 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,640 Oh. 345 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,640 I wasn't warm at all. 346 00:16:17,940 --> 00:16:19,440 I mean, he's not my therapist anymore. 347 00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:20,599 No, of course. 348 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,600 Yeah, 349 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,880 we had our close -out session last week. Of course. 350 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,460 Really intense. He cried. 351 00:16:25,740 --> 00:16:27,000 No, I didn't cry. I wept. 352 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,200 You did. 353 00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:31,300 And you made... You did. 354 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,840 Like a Hallmark movie where two people pretend to be a couple for a big family 355 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,800 gathering. I love that movie. 356 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,620 Melissa Joan Hart. People say I look like her. 357 00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:41,820 What? 358 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:43,900 I can see. Hello. 359 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,380 Oh, hi. Hey, guys. 360 00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:49,020 Was just chatting with Morgan and Dr. 361 00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:53,720 Andy. I knew it. He's not a real doctor. I couldn't imagine letting that guy 362 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,100 operate on me. He's probably a chiropractor. He's a therapist. 363 00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:59,000 What? Yep. Yep. Yep. Dr. 364 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,620 Andy is Morgan's therapist. 365 00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:04,440 I kissed my therapist once, but he said it was a trust exercise. 366 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:08,920 Your responses are alarming. I have to say, this is a very concerning 367 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:13,260 Thank you. Someone finally normal, thank you. Are couples therapists? 368 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,579 Yeah. Oh, my God. 369 00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,200 Where is everybody? 370 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,760 Did anyone notice a brainwash -y energy? 371 00:17:19,980 --> 00:17:21,240 I'd love to be brainwashed. 372 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:25,450 What the hell? Are you guys just... Sitting out here talking shit about me? 373 00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:27,569 your therapist. How do you expect us to react? 374 00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:28,790 I mean... Here we go again. 375 00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:32,190 Oh, right. And you pick such perfect relationships too, Joanne, right? Look 376 00:17:32,190 --> 00:17:35,430 Noah. You're a fucking loser, jobless, almost homeless, ripped your boyfriend. 377 00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:36,790 You know what? Fuck you, bitch. 378 00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:42,530 Oh, Tony texted me back. Thank you, Noah. 379 00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:46,189 You know what? 380 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,810 Do not compare my relationship to your mental breakdown. 381 00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:50,830 Right, yeah, because you're doing so great. 382 00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:54,370 Pretending to care about some tradition that none of us want to be at because 383 00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:55,750 you need to prove something to your boyfriend. 384 00:17:56,050 --> 00:18:00,350 No, I don't. And I did tell you my therapist was in love with me many 385 00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:03,390 I supposed to believe everything you say? According to you, you could have 386 00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:07,290 Meghan Markle. I said I saw Prince Harry at a bar and there was a vibe, okay? 387 00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:08,350 And there was a vibe. 388 00:18:08,410 --> 00:18:11,110 You know, why do you think I waited to tell you I fell for Andy, okay? Because 389 00:18:11,110 --> 00:18:13,330 knew that you would be judgmental about how we met. 390 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,480 Not that you've even noticed what's going on with me because you're too 391 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,820 up in your own relationship. You know what? 392 00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,120 You'll suck. 393 00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:22,020 Come on, we're going. 394 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:26,280 And by the way, this is the first man I've brought home since my divorce, and 395 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,040 none of you have even tried to get to know him. Well, I did. 396 00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:33,600 Bullshit. I guess we're still adjusting to the very jarring fact that you two 397 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,520 are breaking the law by dating. 398 00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:40,860 Andy knows all of my trauma and all of my baggage, and he accepts me for it. 399 00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:43,540 by the way, you guys are where I got all my trauma and baggage, so... 400 00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:47,240 Oh, this isn't the energy I want for the rest of my youth. Okay, I'm so done 401 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,800 with all of you. You know, none of you support me. Not one. 402 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:56,620 I know our relationship started out in an unorthodox way. 403 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,900 It's not perfect, but we're really happy. 404 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,580 Okay. You can lay with me. 405 00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:21,320 With your mom in her bed? 406 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,980 She's pretty locked into her movie. 407 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,600 Okay. 408 00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:28,160 But no funny business. 409 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,940 So why is that? 410 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,220 Do you think I'm judgmental? 411 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:45,440 I mean, I think you're very passionate, and I think... 412 00:19:46,970 --> 00:19:49,910 Sometimes you jump to extremes and commit really hard. 413 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:52,770 I never do that. 414 00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:59,190 Give me one example when I did that. I mean, you call our sex life 415 00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:00,190 on your podcast. 416 00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:02,290 Oh, wow, you really had that loaded and ready to go? 417 00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:09,030 Okay. You told me not to say anything personal about us, so that was me 418 00:20:09,030 --> 00:20:11,430 it. I know. I know you're just trying to respect my request. 419 00:20:11,870 --> 00:20:13,780 Well... Off the record, obviously. 420 00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:18,280 I know we do some pretty interesting stuff. Oh, obviously. Just, you know, 421 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,280 everyone else know. 422 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:21,800 Can I give you some advice? 423 00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:27,020 Are you my rabbi now? No, just your boyfriend. 424 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,620 I think you should support Morgan. 425 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,320 I can't. 426 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:39,680 I can't support her with an unethical therapist. I'm not saying to support the 427 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,480 relationship. I just think you should support her. 428 00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:42,619 You know? 429 00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:45,120 I mean, it makes a lot of sense why she was scared to tell you. 430 00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:46,960 She really cares what you think. 431 00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:49,840 Even though I know she swears she doesn't. 432 00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:52,840 I guess that's true. 433 00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:54,900 Damn. 434 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,280 You are really good at helping people. 435 00:20:58,900 --> 00:20:59,900 Thank you. 436 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,000 I miss it. 437 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,340 I miss being needed by my community. 438 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,160 Sounds like you need a rabbi, rabbi. 439 00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:24,860 I'm sorry you don't get to do the job you always dreamed of. No. 440 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:26,880 I still will. 441 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:32,460 I'm sorry I pushed you all to celebrate my way. 442 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,660 I think I've just been channeling my energies into the wrong places. 443 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,820 I did have fun with your family, though. 444 00:21:41,860 --> 00:21:46,780 And I'll deny it, but... I really loved being the one to tell you all he's your 445 00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:47,780 therapist. 446 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:49,760 No, rock love. 447 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:51,400 You're a gossip. 448 00:21:51,940 --> 00:21:54,700 That's against Jewish rules. You told me that when we met. 449 00:21:57,020 --> 00:21:59,680 Babe, you remember my first Judaism lesson. 450 00:22:02,980 --> 00:22:07,000 I really love you. 451 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:08,880 I love you. 452 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,260 What a special moment for the three of us to share. 453 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,240 That's the energy I want to manifest. 454 00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:24,220 Me too, Lynn. 455 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:31,520 Hi. 456 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,820 Oh, great. Thanks for ordering me one. 457 00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:47,300 Andy suggested we talk, so I'll go first. 458 00:22:50,300 --> 00:22:54,500 Why does this bother you so much? Because he's your therapist. Okay, 459 00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:58,640 knows every single thing about me, and he still loves me. I want my, you know, 460 00:22:58,660 --> 00:23:01,300 fairy tale, too. 461 00:23:03,820 --> 00:23:04,820 Okay. 462 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,320 Okay. 463 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,380 Okay. I get it. I will try and do my best to give him a chance. 464 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:12,600 Thank you. 465 00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:16,200 Today I'll be discussing Parshat Beshalach. 466 00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:19,260 Now, after the Jews' departure from Egypt... 467 00:23:20,170 --> 00:23:24,270 They had their freedom, but they had no food. They had no shelter. 468 00:23:24,530 --> 00:23:28,870 They wandered through the wilderness without knowing what would happen next. 469 00:23:30,630 --> 00:23:31,810 Rabbi Rockliff? 470 00:23:32,530 --> 00:23:33,970 At my house? 471 00:23:34,270 --> 00:23:36,450 Hey, what's all this? Have a seat. 472 00:23:37,730 --> 00:23:41,830 Yeah, I was just in the pool. I was practicing for my stupa lesson. 473 00:23:42,450 --> 00:23:44,310 The wife and I are getting certified. 474 00:23:44,850 --> 00:23:47,690 Wow. Yeah. Okay, so you're enjoying it. 475 00:23:48,030 --> 00:23:53,150 Retirement? Yeah, and you know, the part of your life you didn't plan for. 476 00:23:53,430 --> 00:23:56,430 I'd say I'm asking for a friend, but I think we both know that's not true. 477 00:23:57,090 --> 00:23:58,710 And that's the point of faith, right? 478 00:23:59,150 --> 00:24:01,350 It doesn't exist in the plans we make. 479 00:24:02,170 --> 00:24:03,470 It exists in the unknown. 480 00:24:05,310 --> 00:24:07,990 Otherwise, tough decisions would be easy. There'd be no risk. 481 00:24:10,010 --> 00:24:11,590 All right, now that's a cute baby. 482 00:24:12,010 --> 00:24:15,550 Now, the moment after you take a leap of faith. 483 00:24:16,850 --> 00:24:18,110 That's the scariest time. 484 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,260 You know what? Fuck it. Let's do it. What? 485 00:24:21,660 --> 00:24:22,740 Let's have another baby. 486 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,700 Do you love that cute? 487 00:24:28,340 --> 00:24:29,520 Because you can't go back. 488 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:31,980 You don't know if it'll work out. 489 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:35,620 I've been freaking the fuck out about not working. 490 00:24:35,900 --> 00:24:37,160 Avoided it for years. 491 00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:43,400 Turns out, I feel my most free when I'm in the water. 492 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,760 Never could have planned for that. 493 00:24:46,260 --> 00:24:47,380 But if you don't risk. 494 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:49,560 you might not experience life. 495 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:58,060 You might never learn if that person is right for you or if you love to 496 00:24:58,060 --> 00:24:59,060 swim. 497 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,200 Here's what I do know. 498 00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:08,680 Over these last few days, I've been reminded that there are people who need 499 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:09,860 what I have to give. 500 00:25:10,380 --> 00:25:15,920 This new guy is a great rabbi because we know what we're getting. 501 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,620 You are a great rabbi because you think outside the box. So trust yourself. 502 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:22,280 Figure it out. 503 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,800 Now, this congregation has begun its next chapter. 504 00:25:26,580 --> 00:25:28,060 And it's not what I had planned. 505 00:25:29,620 --> 00:25:31,980 So now I need to find my next chapter too. 506 00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:37,460 It's been an honor. It's been a privilege getting to know you. 507 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:40,180 I love you all. 508 00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:43,220 And I plan to see you many more times throughout the years. 509 00:25:44,940 --> 00:25:46,960 It's time for me to wander through the wilderness. 510 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,360 Oh, my God. 511 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,500 This will be my final sermon at Temple High. 512 00:25:55,720 --> 00:26:01,980 My dirty secret in an old coat pocket My dirty laundry underneath 513 00:26:01,980 --> 00:26:08,860 your bed I had a dream I had you in my kitchen And 514 00:26:08,860 --> 00:26:12,820 now you're in my head You're living in my head 515 00:26:24,740 --> 00:26:28,480 I wasn't wild, but I could have been. 516 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:33,140 I like the way you answer all my questions. 517 00:26:33,620 --> 00:26:35,480 Can I see you again? 518 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,520 Can I see you again? 519 00:26:38,660 --> 00:26:40,320 If I want to. 520 00:26:42,740 --> 00:26:46,500 If I have you on my mind. 521 00:26:47,060 --> 00:26:48,600 If I'm patient. 522 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,500 If it's complicated, then it's complicated 40116

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