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Good Shabbat.
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Good Shabbat. Good Shabbat. Good
Shabbat. Good Shabbat. Good Shabbat.
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Shabbat. Good Shabbat. Good Shabbat.
Good Shabbat.
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Good Shabbat.
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Sorry. What am I doing with it?
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Oh, thank you, m 'lady.
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This room is really strict about the
seating range. You'll get used to it.
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Time is up.
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Oh, yeah. I like you being at Shabbat.
It's my favorite time of the week.
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I don't think it's crazy you have dinner
with your family every Friday.
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Some people would say this is a lot.
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Well, family is important to me. No,
well, family is important to me, too.
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We all share a Costco card.
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You win.
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No phones at the table. Oh, sorry.
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Sorry. Morgan was just texting my mom
happy birthday on our group chat. Group
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chat? On your mother's birthday? A text?
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That's it?
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Well, it's Lynn's birthday.
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Mother waits a whole day for the phone
to ring. Day's almost over. Six o
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Do you both hate your mother?
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No. Oh, I would kill to just be left
alone on my birthday. I didn't know. I
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didn't call her.
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Miscommunication. Her birthday is the
8th. Morgan thinks it's the 6th. We've
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told her a zillion times. It just
doesn't stick. Okay. Huh.
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Her 8th is the 6th. Correct.
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And her birthday is today. The 8th.
Thank God I didn't miss it. Okay.
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Okay.
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Uh, what's the plan?
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What are we doing?
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Um,
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I will call her.
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Oh. Hmm.
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Badest story ever told.
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Can I have a pickle, please? You don't
do anything together?
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Nothing? Not even a cake or a candle?
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I mean, a restaurant reservation.
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Please, a balloon bouquet or an edible
arrangement.
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I mean, don't you have any family
traditions?
40
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Yes, we have family traditions.
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We just don't do them.
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Well,
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when I was little, my mom used to get
takeout for a birthday breakfast and
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get donuts instead of a cake.
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Oh, I'm sorry. That sounds hard.
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No, that sounds good. Donuts are great.
Okay, so let's do that.
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Oh, I don't think my family's really
that type. Come on. You're joining my
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family for our traditions.
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I want to be part of that stuff with
your family, too.
50
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Please, listen.
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It'll be really fun.
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I'll plan the whole thing. Text at 6 o
'clock. It's okay, Dad.
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Today's not our mom's birthday. Still.
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We have 48 hours. Yay.
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Oh, yay.
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Wait, so why are you making Mom
celebrate her birthday with us? Is she
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No, she's fine. I just think it would be
nice to circle back to family
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traditions. It's important to Mom.
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Yeah, right. We both know Mom would
rather do her little rituals with Goldie
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where they, like, eat chocolate and
mushrooms and cry outside. Okay, fine.
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means a lot to Noah, okay? It was his
idea, and family traditions are weirdly
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important to him.
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Okay, so you want to impress Noah by
doing something we haven't done in 20
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years. Of course you don't get it. Okay,
I am in a mature adult partnership.
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Noah and I are figuring out how to be a
we, and it's like a silent negotiation.
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Ew.
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Hi. Hey.
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I'm working on my toast for Lynn
tomorrow. How long is yours going to be,
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because it's weird if mine's longer?
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Um, no, we don't do toasts.
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Toasts are for people who have nice
things to say about each other.
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Got it. Okay. Hey, here.
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Can't just drink coffee all day.
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Babe.
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Tracking my water intake?
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God, that's so sweet.
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Morgan, did you hear that?
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Yeah. Don't you have, like, a job to go
to or something?
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Yeah, things are just a little bit slow
right now.
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People are interested in working with
Big Noah.
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Knocking on my door a little bit less.
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00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,420
Personally, I think he peaked at his
first sermon. Oh, my gosh. He actually
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the cover of Jewish Journal, which,
like, you don't know. You don't even
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how hard that is to get. Oh, God, Jesus.
I thought you had, like, the day off or
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something. I didn't realize this would
turn into such an awkward conversation.
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Okay,
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can we just talk about how all of a
sudden you're a babe girl?
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You guys, do anything deep, okay? I've
never heard her call anyone babe before.
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Okay, can we talk about something else?
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Um, do you have anything to share,
Morgan?
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00:04:32,570 --> 00:04:34,550
Nope, I guess we'll have to pivot to
audience questions.
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A guy ghosted me after I waited three
months to have sex with him.
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What do I do?
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First of all, willpower.
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Um, mind if I throw mine two cents in?
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I thought you didn't want anything to do
with the podcast.
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Well, I don't want any stuff about me on
it. But, you know, I don't mind
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offering a little advice on one
question.
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It's what I do.
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Okay, I don't know. I think a male
perspective would be nice. Okay, great.
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First of all, on behalf of all men,
sorry, ghosting is never cool.
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00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:07,280
In the Talmud, Hillel offers us the
golden rule. That which is hateful to
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do not do to others. Now, we hear it all
the time. Treat others how you want to
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be treated.
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But...
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I think the reverse applies as well. How
you treat others is how you treat
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yourself. So, if he can't be honest with
you, he's not honest with himself.
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You don't want this guy.
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Okay, Rabbi. That was a really good
answer.
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Yeah, I was just going to say, like, she
might be bad in bed, but... Next
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question.
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Okay, on to the next.
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Can I go out with a guy my good friend
dated but was never official with? No.
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No.
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I'll take this one, Joanne.
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Hopefully it ended amicably between
them, but because it ended, yes, you
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every right to pursue a relationship.
I'm so sorry. I really, really disagree.
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You can't ever date the ex of a friend
under any circumstance, and I'm sure
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Hillel would agree. Well, what about the
rules of love?
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Being territorial over someone it didn't
work out with isn't cool, and they have
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to take a chance if they think this
might be their person.
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Okay, next question. Where's the last
crazy place you guys had sex?
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Um...
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We don't do that. What do you mean? You
don't have sex? We have.
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You know what I mean. Okay, fine. Lame.
Give me one juicy thing about your
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relationship. The freakiest thing you
guys have ever done. We don't do
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that the audience would find
interesting.
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Oh, wait. That's not true. Oh, okay.
Tell me more, Rabbi.
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Say more. Into the mic. Sorry. Into the
mic. I'm sorry. Sorry.
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Absolutely. Sorry about that. Let's get
back to it.
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So the thing about Morgan is that she
doesn't understand privacy.
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Based on the fact that all her passwords
are 1234 and I have a folder full of
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her nudes on my phone. What the fuck?
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God, now I have to change all my
passwords.
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Don't smile.
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It's not cute.
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Hey, how much time do you think until
Mary gets back?
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42 minutes, you sick fuck. We are not
going again.
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No, I was just thinking like we can, you
know.
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Have some dessert. Watch something funny
on TV. I love dessert. I love this
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idea. What do we have?
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You were... I was first.
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No, I was clearly first.
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Okay, we've got ice cream sandwiches.
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Ice cream sandwich.
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Thank you, babe.
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Hello. Oh, God. Mom.
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What? What are you doing here?
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I thought we grabbed your key back.
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Don't worry. I made a copy.
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Could you excuse us for a moment,
please?
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Oh, you...
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So great to see you, too.
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That's quite an outfit.
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Oh, it's my pleasure.
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Very original.
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Sweetheart.
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You're both half naked.
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I mean, it's like a spark has reignited
in this marriage.
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Yeah.
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00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:48,690
But it's not going to last.
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It's not? Why? What do you know? What I
know is that you need to make the most
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of this moment.
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Okay. I mean, I think I am.
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Have another baby.
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Oh, Mom.
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No.
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00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,370
Mary's perfect for one hit wonders.
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We're not going to have another baby.
Mary's amazing, but there is only one of
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her. And babies, babies are a blessing.
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And we need more.
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And I can't rely on Noah anymore.
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Who knows how long it will take him to
come to his senses.
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I could be dead by then.
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Oh, Mom.
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What? I don't want you to die.
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Don't worry.
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I will always be with you.
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I am going to need that key back.
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No.
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Hi, Dad.
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Hey, sweetheart.
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Don't get up or help with any of this
stuff. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know your
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arms were broken.
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Good. Hey, Henry.
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00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:50,290
Hey, Mel. Great to see you. How are you?
187
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I'm okay. I'm okay. Thank you for
asking. They actually hired a new head
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at my temple, and so it's been a big
change, and I'm kind of... Hey, do you
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to see a picture of the new guy I'm
dating?
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00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,140
Oh, look there.
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00:09:02,820 --> 00:09:03,820
Cute, right?
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00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:05,800
Oh, yeah, he's very cute.
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00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,180
That's one of his chihuahuas. He's got
three.
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00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:12,540
Three chihuahuas. Yeah. We had a fight
last night, and he still hasn't texted
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00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:17,100
me. No, Dad, we are focusing on Mom
today, right now, and for the whole rest
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00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:17,859
the day, okay?
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00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:18,719
All right.
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00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:19,399
I'm serious.
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00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,100
I'm serious, too. Morgan is bringing
Thai food. What's next?
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00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:25,580
Decorations. Decorations. Okay. Oh!
Happy birthday!
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00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000
Happy birthday!
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00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:28,220
Yay!
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00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:33,660
Joanne, when do you think this will wrap
up so I can tell Goldie?
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00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,980
I don't think asking when it will end is
really in the spirit of the event, Mom.
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00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,440
Well, you know, I firmly believe you
have to spend your birthday in the
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you want to manifest for the coming
year. I need peace today. I don't want
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fighting. I don't want any fighting.
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00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,600
No, there's no fighting. We're all here
to celebrate you, Mom. Look at all the
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stuff Noah brought.
210
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,500
And we got donuts.
211
00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:57,210
And he bought a tiara, also these
temporary tattoos that say Girl Power.
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00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:58,310
them on. It's very inspiring.
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00:09:58,630 --> 00:09:59,690
Girl Power. Girl Power.
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00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:02,690
Oh, my God. I always wanted a tramp
stamp.
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00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:05,170
Today's the day. Girl Power. Let's do
it.
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00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:06,750
Let's do it. Hi.
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00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:08,030
Hey.
218
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:09,430
This is Dr. Andy.
219
00:10:09,930 --> 00:10:11,250
Who? What? Hi.
220
00:10:11,470 --> 00:10:13,210
I am Morgan's boyfriend.
221
00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:14,590
Oh.
222
00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:19,450
But please just call me Andy. Drop the
doctor. I don't need that. Hey, Andy.
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00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:22,370
I love your pants. Thank you. I'm so
sorry. I'm confused.
224
00:10:22,590 --> 00:10:26,970
Are you an escort or... Are you doing a
prank? Oh, my gosh. Well, this is
225
00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:29,490
Joanne. Yeah. Has to be. That's a Joanne
response.
226
00:10:29,770 --> 00:10:30,770
Yeah, I know, right?
227
00:10:30,970 --> 00:10:34,210
You immediately just walled up. Anyway,
I love it. I'm just so honored to meet
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00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:36,090
all of you all. I can't wait to get to
know you.
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00:10:36,450 --> 00:10:38,850
I'm going to put this down right there,
I bet. Thank you, baby.
230
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:43,230
What?
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00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,220
He's my boyfriend. I just told you.
232
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:49,299
Not bad.
233
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,179
I like him.
234
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:50,979
Thank you.
235
00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:52,800
I think he's sexy. What's going on?
236
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:57,540
She is fucking nuts if she thinks she's
in charge of me having a whole ass baby.
237
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,420
This Handmaid's Tale?
238
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:03,220
I never saw it past season one, but I
don't think it gets any better for the
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00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:04,220
gal.
240
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,700
I don't know. I think I hate the idea.
241
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,120
When she first brought it up, I was
like, absolutely not. Right?
242
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:13,400
Now that you seem to be like, oh, it's
never going to happen, I don't really
243
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,400
know which way I'm leaning.
244
00:11:16,450 --> 00:11:20,910
No, I mean, I just loved it when Mary
was little and she'd have a little
245
00:11:20,910 --> 00:11:24,870
tantrum and then she'd tire herself out
and she'd fall asleep in my chest. I
246
00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:29,090
loved that. Josh, we are five years away
from being empty nesters.
247
00:11:29,490 --> 00:11:31,510
We are so close. Think about the stuff
we could do.
248
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:36,970
You could finally get your ear pierced.
We could take dance class. We could try
249
00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:37,970
new drugs.
250
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:40,630
We could live in, like, a cool
neighborhood instead of, like, Wright
251
00:11:40,630 --> 00:11:41,630
District neighborhood.
252
00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:43,950
We could stay in bed.
253
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,860
All of Sunday, never get out of the bed.
This is the stuff we never got to do
254
00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:48,900
before we had Miri.
255
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,780
All right, rock and roll. I'll do all
this stuff with you.
256
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:53,980
Really? Uh -huh.
257
00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:55,460
Sash.
258
00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:58,000
Except for the dancing. I'm too tall to
dance.
259
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:02,660
Hey, who's that Tony guy Dad keeps
talking about? I mean, I didn't even
260
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:06,140
and Pat broke up. Okay, I am not fucking
talking about Pat. What is happening?
261
00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:08,420
How do I not know that you have a
boyfriend?
262
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,459
Who is he?
263
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:12,170
I mean... Where did he come from? How
long has this been going on?
264
00:12:12,410 --> 00:12:15,370
Well, I've known him for a little while,
but this all is very new.
265
00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:20,270
Okay, I saw you less than 24 hours ago,
so... And since then, you've sent me
266
00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:23,110
like a thousand text messages asking
whether or not you have a mustache.
267
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:26,570
Okay, I was trying to be private while I
figured out how I felt, okay? I do
268
00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:29,270
understand privacy, Joanne. You call me
about everything.
269
00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:32,780
You call me before a date, after a date,
half the time you call me when you're
270
00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:37,160
on the date. So don't act like it's
normal that you bring some random guy
271
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:41,160
who I've never even heard of to mom's
birthday and say he's your boyfriend.
272
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,700
He's not random, all right?
273
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,880
You're not the only one who gets to have
a mature adult partnership.
274
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:49,160
A mature adult partnership. Yeah. We're
on the same planet.
275
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,139
You know what?
276
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:53,860
I'm gonna go help my boyfriend, Andy,
set the table.
277
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:58,540
Oh, man, I'm telling you, it is... Just
really hard dating at my age.
278
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,660
I wish I came out earlier.
279
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:04,860
This all wouldn't just feel so new to
me. Trust me. Whenever you get out
280
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:05,839
it's always confusing.
281
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,500
We all feel like we're messing up all
the time. You know?
282
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,460
I think you're doing a great job.
283
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,760
Really? I do. I absolutely do. I also
think you need to give Tony a text.
284
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:16,360
I should text him?
285
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:17,740
Yeah, you should text him.
286
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,460
Become worthy of the relationship you
want.
287
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:23,960
You're really good at this.
288
00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:26,390
Traditionally, the tops text first.
289
00:13:27,810 --> 00:13:30,090
I'm kidding. I'm not going to tell you
what position I am.
290
00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:32,850
I'm going to text you. Thank you. My
pleasure. Thank you.
291
00:13:36,770 --> 00:13:37,749
Hey. Hey.
292
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,030
Having fun? You know, Henry and I were
bonding.
293
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:43,090
I think I said something that maybe
landed with him. Great. Well, if you
294
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,170
letting him talk about himself, he'll
become his favorite person.
295
00:13:45,770 --> 00:13:49,670
Hey, can you go get to know Morgan's
boyfriend?
296
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,149
You know.
297
00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:54,350
And do not come back with just, he's
from Ohio, I need details.
298
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:58,729
Girl power.
299
00:13:58,730 --> 00:13:59,910
Girl power, thank you.
300
00:14:01,030 --> 00:14:03,970
Oh, hey, Mom, will you help me find the
fun plates in the sauna?
301
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:05,950
I love the fun plates, okay?
302
00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:07,750
We're pulling them out? Yeah.
303
00:14:08,910 --> 00:14:10,790
I think they're by the snowman.
304
00:14:11,410 --> 00:14:12,470
Let me look.
305
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:13,829
Uh -huh.
306
00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:16,170
I can't believe we're pulling them out
this year.
307
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:20,440
No, what? Stop looking for the fun
place. Mom, I don't care about the fun
308
00:14:20,540 --> 00:14:23,720
okay? I don't know. Stop, stop. You told
me you wanted the fun place.
309
00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:27,480
Did you know about Dr. Andy? He's so
annoying.
310
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,520
Like, is he even really a real doctor?
311
00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:31,520
He's giving more life coach vibes.
312
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,020
Well, she might have mentioned it. I'm
not sure.
313
00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:38,500
You know, I can never keep up with your
sister. One day she's converting. The
314
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:41,400
next day she's not converting. Mom, that
was me.
315
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:46,020
Both my girls are wild cards. And you
know, I'm not worried about Morgan's
316
00:14:46,460 --> 00:14:47,660
I have strong intuition.
317
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,040
I like him.
318
00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:52,780
You're wrong. Something's off. It feels
weird. Otherwise, why would she have
319
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:56,120
kept this from me for even a second? We
tell each other everything. It's like,
320
00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:59,840
what if he's got her in some Ponzi
scheme or a pyramid scheme?
321
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,920
Remember when she lost all her money to
that guy who said he was going to
322
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:06,900
reinvent the hot dog for millennials and
she kept saying, it's a hot dog for us.
323
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:11,300
Maybe he's just married. No, Morgan's
told me about plenty of married men.
324
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,680
can't be it. Are you guys talking about
me and Tony?
325
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:15,500
No, honey.
326
00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:19,020
And here's some delicious rice.
327
00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:22,300
Oh, baby, can you pour me some water so
I don't get dehydrated?
328
00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:24,260
Of course, princess.
329
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:30,820
Of course, come here.
330
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,200
I'm here.
331
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,020
Beautiful. So cute.
332
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:40,520
So how'd you two meet? What's your
story? Give me every little detail.
333
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:41,800
Okay. Well.
334
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,020
You go. Okay. We met in therapy.
335
00:15:45,420 --> 00:15:47,100
Group therapy.
336
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,960
Well, no, not group therapy.
337
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,140
But that's cool. Keep guessing.
338
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,920
The waiting room.
339
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,160
Nope.
340
00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,840
Getting warmer, though. Yeah. All right.
Let me think here.
341
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:02,680
The parking lot.
342
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:07,540
No, no, wait. The elevator from the
parking lot. You met in the elevator.
343
00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:08,540
Morgan's therapist.
344
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,640
Oh.
345
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,640
I wasn't warm at all.
346
00:16:17,940 --> 00:16:19,440
I mean, he's not my therapist anymore.
347
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:20,599
No, of course.
348
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,600
Yeah,
349
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,880
we had our close -out session last week.
Of course.
350
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,460
Really intense. He cried.
351
00:16:25,740 --> 00:16:27,000
No, I didn't cry. I wept.
352
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,200
You did.
353
00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:31,300
And you made... You did.
354
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,840
Like a Hallmark movie where two people
pretend to be a couple for a big family
355
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,800
gathering. I love that movie.
356
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,620
Melissa Joan Hart. People say I look
like her.
357
00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:41,820
What?
358
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:43,900
I can see. Hello.
359
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,380
Oh, hi. Hey, guys.
360
00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:49,020
Was just chatting with Morgan and Dr.
361
00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:53,720
Andy. I knew it. He's not a real doctor.
I couldn't imagine letting that guy
362
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,100
operate on me. He's probably a
chiropractor. He's a therapist.
363
00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:59,000
What? Yep. Yep. Yep. Dr.
364
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,620
Andy is Morgan's therapist.
365
00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:04,440
I kissed my therapist once, but he said
it was a trust exercise.
366
00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:08,920
Your responses are alarming. I have to
say, this is a very concerning
367
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:13,260
Thank you. Someone finally normal, thank
you. Are couples therapists?
368
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,579
Yeah. Oh, my God.
369
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,200
Where is everybody?
370
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,760
Did anyone notice a brainwash -y energy?
371
00:17:19,980 --> 00:17:21,240
I'd love to be brainwashed.
372
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:25,450
What the hell? Are you guys just...
Sitting out here talking shit about me?
373
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:27,569
your therapist. How do you expect us to
react?
374
00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:28,790
I mean... Here we go again.
375
00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:32,190
Oh, right. And you pick such perfect
relationships too, Joanne, right? Look
376
00:17:32,190 --> 00:17:35,430
Noah. You're a fucking loser, jobless,
almost homeless, ripped your boyfriend.
377
00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:36,790
You know what? Fuck you, bitch.
378
00:17:40,190 --> 00:17:42,530
Oh, Tony texted me back. Thank you,
Noah.
379
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:46,189
You know what?
380
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,810
Do not compare my relationship to your
mental breakdown.
381
00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:50,830
Right, yeah, because you're doing so
great.
382
00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:54,370
Pretending to care about some tradition
that none of us want to be at because
383
00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:55,750
you need to prove something to your
boyfriend.
384
00:17:56,050 --> 00:18:00,350
No, I don't. And I did tell you my
therapist was in love with me many
385
00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:03,390
I supposed to believe everything you
say? According to you, you could have
386
00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:07,290
Meghan Markle. I said I saw Prince Harry
at a bar and there was a vibe, okay?
387
00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:08,350
And there was a vibe.
388
00:18:08,410 --> 00:18:11,110
You know, why do you think I waited to
tell you I fell for Andy, okay? Because
389
00:18:11,110 --> 00:18:13,330
knew that you would be judgmental about
how we met.
390
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,480
Not that you've even noticed what's
going on with me because you're too
391
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,820
up in your own relationship. You know
what?
392
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,120
You'll suck.
393
00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:22,020
Come on, we're going.
394
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:26,280
And by the way, this is the first man
I've brought home since my divorce, and
395
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,040
none of you have even tried to get to
know him. Well, I did.
396
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:33,600
Bullshit. I guess we're still adjusting
to the very jarring fact that you two
397
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,520
are breaking the law by dating.
398
00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:40,860
Andy knows all of my trauma and all of
my baggage, and he accepts me for it.
399
00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:43,540
by the way, you guys are where I got all
my trauma and baggage, so...
400
00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:47,240
Oh, this isn't the energy I want for the
rest of my youth. Okay, I'm so done
401
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,800
with all of you. You know, none of you
support me. Not one.
402
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:56,620
I know our relationship started out in
an unorthodox way.
403
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,900
It's not perfect, but we're really
happy.
404
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,580
Okay. You can lay with me.
405
00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:21,320
With your mom in her bed?
406
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,980
She's pretty locked into her movie.
407
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,600
Okay.
408
00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:28,160
But no funny business.
409
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,940
So why is that?
410
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,220
Do you think I'm judgmental?
411
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:45,440
I mean, I think you're very passionate,
and I think...
412
00:19:46,970 --> 00:19:49,910
Sometimes you jump to extremes and
commit really hard.
413
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:52,770
I never do that.
414
00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:59,190
Give me one example when I did that. I
mean, you call our sex life
415
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:00,190
on your podcast.
416
00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:02,290
Oh, wow, you really had that loaded and
ready to go?
417
00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:09,030
Okay. You told me not to say anything
personal about us, so that was me
418
00:20:09,030 --> 00:20:11,430
it. I know. I know you're just trying to
respect my request.
419
00:20:11,870 --> 00:20:13,780
Well... Off the record, obviously.
420
00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:18,280
I know we do some pretty interesting
stuff. Oh, obviously. Just, you know,
421
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,280
everyone else know.
422
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:21,800
Can I give you some advice?
423
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:27,020
Are you my rabbi now? No, just your
boyfriend.
424
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,620
I think you should support Morgan.
425
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,320
I can't.
426
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:39,680
I can't support her with an unethical
therapist. I'm not saying to support the
427
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,480
relationship. I just think you should
support her.
428
00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:42,619
You know?
429
00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:45,120
I mean, it makes a lot of sense why she
was scared to tell you.
430
00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:46,960
She really cares what you think.
431
00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:49,840
Even though I know she swears she
doesn't.
432
00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:52,840
I guess that's true.
433
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:54,900
Damn.
434
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,280
You are really good at helping people.
435
00:20:58,900 --> 00:20:59,900
Thank you.
436
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,000
I miss it.
437
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,340
I miss being needed by my community.
438
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,160
Sounds like you need a rabbi, rabbi.
439
00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:24,860
I'm sorry you don't get to do the job
you always dreamed of. No.
440
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:26,880
I still will.
441
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:32,460
I'm sorry I pushed you all to celebrate
my way.
442
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,660
I think I've just been channeling my
energies into the wrong places.
443
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,820
I did have fun with your family, though.
444
00:21:41,860 --> 00:21:46,780
And I'll deny it, but... I really loved
being the one to tell you all he's your
445
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:47,780
therapist.
446
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:49,760
No, rock love.
447
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:51,400
You're a gossip.
448
00:21:51,940 --> 00:21:54,700
That's against Jewish rules. You told me
that when we met.
449
00:21:57,020 --> 00:21:59,680
Babe, you remember my first Judaism
lesson.
450
00:22:02,980 --> 00:22:07,000
I really love you.
451
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:08,880
I love you.
452
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,260
What a special moment for the three of
us to share.
453
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,240
That's the energy I want to manifest.
454
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:24,220
Me too, Lynn.
455
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:31,520
Hi.
456
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,820
Oh, great. Thanks for ordering me one.
457
00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:47,300
Andy suggested we talk, so I'll go
first.
458
00:22:50,300 --> 00:22:54,500
Why does this bother you so much?
Because he's your therapist. Okay,
459
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:58,640
knows every single thing about me, and
he still loves me. I want my, you know,
460
00:22:58,660 --> 00:23:01,300
fairy tale, too.
461
00:23:03,820 --> 00:23:04,820
Okay.
462
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,320
Okay.
463
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,380
Okay. I get it. I will try and do my
best to give him a chance.
464
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:12,600
Thank you.
465
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:16,200
Today I'll be discussing Parshat
Beshalach.
466
00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:19,260
Now, after the Jews' departure from
Egypt...
467
00:23:20,170 --> 00:23:24,270
They had their freedom, but they had no
food. They had no shelter.
468
00:23:24,530 --> 00:23:28,870
They wandered through the wilderness
without knowing what would happen next.
469
00:23:30,630 --> 00:23:31,810
Rabbi Rockliff?
470
00:23:32,530 --> 00:23:33,970
At my house?
471
00:23:34,270 --> 00:23:36,450
Hey, what's all this? Have a seat.
472
00:23:37,730 --> 00:23:41,830
Yeah, I was just in the pool. I was
practicing for my stupa lesson.
473
00:23:42,450 --> 00:23:44,310
The wife and I are getting certified.
474
00:23:44,850 --> 00:23:47,690
Wow. Yeah. Okay, so you're enjoying it.
475
00:23:48,030 --> 00:23:53,150
Retirement? Yeah, and you know, the part
of your life you didn't plan for.
476
00:23:53,430 --> 00:23:56,430
I'd say I'm asking for a friend, but I
think we both know that's not true.
477
00:23:57,090 --> 00:23:58,710
And that's the point of faith, right?
478
00:23:59,150 --> 00:24:01,350
It doesn't exist in the plans we make.
479
00:24:02,170 --> 00:24:03,470
It exists in the unknown.
480
00:24:05,310 --> 00:24:07,990
Otherwise, tough decisions would be
easy. There'd be no risk.
481
00:24:10,010 --> 00:24:11,590
All right, now that's a cute baby.
482
00:24:12,010 --> 00:24:15,550
Now, the moment after you take a leap of
faith.
483
00:24:16,850 --> 00:24:18,110
That's the scariest time.
484
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,260
You know what? Fuck it. Let's do it.
What?
485
00:24:21,660 --> 00:24:22,740
Let's have another baby.
486
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,700
Do you love that cute?
487
00:24:28,340 --> 00:24:29,520
Because you can't go back.
488
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:31,980
You don't know if it'll work out.
489
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:35,620
I've been freaking the fuck out about
not working.
490
00:24:35,900 --> 00:24:37,160
Avoided it for years.
491
00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:43,400
Turns out, I feel my most free when I'm
in the water.
492
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,760
Never could have planned for that.
493
00:24:46,260 --> 00:24:47,380
But if you don't risk.
494
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:49,560
you might not experience life.
495
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:58,060
You might never learn if that person is
right for you or if you love to
496
00:24:58,060 --> 00:24:59,060
swim.
497
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,200
Here's what I do know.
498
00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:08,680
Over these last few days, I've been
reminded that there are people who need
499
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:09,860
what I have to give.
500
00:25:10,380 --> 00:25:15,920
This new guy is a great rabbi because we
know what we're getting.
501
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,620
You are a great rabbi because you think
outside the box. So trust yourself.
502
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:22,280
Figure it out.
503
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,800
Now, this congregation has begun its
next chapter.
504
00:25:26,580 --> 00:25:28,060
And it's not what I had planned.
505
00:25:29,620 --> 00:25:31,980
So now I need to find my next chapter
too.
506
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:37,460
It's been an honor. It's been a
privilege getting to know you.
507
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:40,180
I love you all.
508
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:43,220
And I plan to see you many more times
throughout the years.
509
00:25:44,940 --> 00:25:46,960
It's time for me to wander through the
wilderness.
510
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,360
Oh, my God.
511
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,500
This will be my final sermon at Temple
High.
512
00:25:55,720 --> 00:26:01,980
My dirty secret in an old coat pocket My
dirty laundry underneath
513
00:26:01,980 --> 00:26:08,860
your bed I had a dream I had you in my
kitchen And
514
00:26:08,860 --> 00:26:12,820
now you're in my head You're living in
my head
515
00:26:24,740 --> 00:26:28,480
I wasn't wild, but I could have been.
516
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:33,140
I like the way you answer all my
questions.
517
00:26:33,620 --> 00:26:35,480
Can I see you again?
518
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,520
Can I see you again?
519
00:26:38,660 --> 00:26:40,320
If I want to.
520
00:26:42,740 --> 00:26:46,500
If I have you on my mind.
521
00:26:47,060 --> 00:26:48,600
If I'm patient.
522
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,500
If it's complicated, then it's
complicated
40116
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