Original subtitles

Good old -fashioned Alka -Seltzer. You never let me down. You've been good to

for many, many years.

Is there anybody to close the door? Because I really feel like they can hear

Hi, Marco.

How are you doing? Are we running a little slow this morning?

Yes, I definitely am. Will you go through the whole schedule today?

Because it changed a little bit, right?

Yeah.

Someone should stand at the door just to make sure. Like last night, you know

that happened? They burst in. Move over.

Move over. How have you supported me for years?

You could do it because you cried, and you got the mascara to show it.

What are you talking about?

There's this underlying tension of a little bit of history. It's not even a

deal. But last night, I didn't even bring it up, and she brought it up. I've

supported you for years.

I've supported you for years with Bobby, when Bobby died.

I sat at that funeral. I did everything. Two weeks later, you're dating Gary. I

was supportive of that.

So I removed myself. I said, I'm going to bed.

The reason we switched it around is because we need the cold air for the hot

balloon to be able to function.

So let's get the girls out a little bit early. Let's say 8 .45.

Okay. And then once that's done, we'll have our breakfast at around 9 .45.

Okay, let the girls know, will you? Absolutely.

Someone's got to be the voice of reason because it is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs in

this house with her. I don't want to be the bad guy anymore.

Grand rising, rich rising, wealthy rising. It's a beautiful Monday morning.

y 'all feeling?

It's cold out there. It's cold.

So everybody should dress warm.

How many people can go up at a time? I'm going to go find that all out right

now. Well, it's too cold out there for me. I'll stay inside.

I'm hoping that the totter balloon lifts everyone's parents literally and

figuratively.

Wow. Hi, Brandy.

Good morning. Oh, my goodness.

Do we have a suitcase explosion in here?

Phaedra, it's Marco. I have the steamer.

Can I come in?

What time are we supposed to leave?

9 .45.

Okay, you have to make your bed so we don't get in trouble.

Look, it's here.

I thought we had to leave.

We do. Look what's here.

What?

I didn't realize the balloon was going to be here. I thought we were going

somewhere. The balloon does not wait for...

Anyone, even Bluestone Manor. Look at this. Lift it up. Pretty.

I haven't been on one in years.

Yeah, I've never been on one either.

It's only going to tether up for like 500 feet and then come down, so don't

scared. I'm just not doing it. Oh, you're not doing it? I am. No, I'm not.

Oh, you're not? No, I have like a really bad fear of heights.

What if a bird flies onto it and it explodes? And I saw on TMZ that one went

down that way. So, sorry, I'm afraid of heights, and I don't need to risk my

life for no reason. I have kids.

The balloon is here? It's here.

What the?

Me. You don't need your bag.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Go get Vicky. She's on her way down. She's getting dressed. Go get them.

one more missing. Oh, is Eva going to make it or no? No, she's doing a radio

show. I didn't know she was going to take off.

Oh, you made it. Good morning. I'm back. Your shirt is safe today.

This one? Yeah.

Let me find out what time they want us to actually go down.

Good morning, Taylor.

Hi, darling.

Can someone tell me about the elephant in the room?

Can I get some more coffee before the elephant in the room comes out?

I wonder if there's to go. She has no recollection of the damage she did to

Oh, Lord Jesus. Not an apology, not Jill, let's talk later. It's not the

time right now.

Up, up and away.

I'm not going to bring it up, but I would appreciate it if somebody else

Dorinda.

confronts anything head on. She does not avoid any fights.

She won't, I mean, she's a little Mike Tyson.

I don't think she'll bite your ear off.

We'll talk about it. Okay, so let's do it after we get off this. No, no, of

course. I don't want to get stuck in that balloon screaming and yelling.

pretty picture.

Doesn't that look pretty?

He's doing the split. Look at him. What is it? It's a frog.

Do I get warts if I touch him? No. Well, maybe.

Oh, that was nice of you. You helped him get across.

I helped him. Aw.

Aw, little foggy. Where is he? He's on this side of the chair. Aw.

Look how cute. Oh, God!

There he is.

He just peed on you.

What?

You really are a country girl. You are going to pull out before someone hurts

you. I better go wash my hands now.

I think the frog was in the room last night and saw what she did to me. I'm

going to wash my hands because the frog peed on my hand.

I think it was peeing for me.

Just saying. You missed it. How did she miss it? She missed the whole thing in

the living room and to the thing.

Hi. You don't have to stop because of me.

You don't have to talk. Right with me here.

You know what? I want to talk to you. I think we should do it after the air

balloon. No, no. We can talk now.

Do you remember last night?

100%. Okay. I remember you saying that you wanted to be on the show. Poor Eva's

trying to do her job.

It's the Ricky Smiley Morning Show. You know what's going down, and I have Eva's

Corner coming up.

Today's topic is co -parenting. And then you said, can I come and just lay and

watch, which I think was a little thirsty.

You think so? Yeah. And I think she does, too.

Really? I'd like to hear her opinion.

I'd like to hear everyone's opinion. And I think I said, leave the girl alone.

Like, she clearly is trying to give you a message that she doesn't want you in

there. Just let her do her job. It just looks a little thirsty, Jill.

I didn't feel like Jill was being thirsty. I just felt like she was being

supportive of Eva.

Maybe Jill is a little thirsty.

But if you know Jill, that's just Jill. I mean, it's a radio show, girls. Let's

just take a breath.

I was trying to support her as like an audience. No, I didn't get the message,

but you didn't have to be so mean about it. Why are you so mean about it? I

didn't think I would. You were. Okay. Well, okay. Well, I don't have this

problem with anyone else. That's not true. I really don't. That's my world.

You're saying bullshit. It's on the internet.

Oh, the internet.

The internet sends a unicorn showing up. Stop with your bullshit.

Face of an angel, mouth of a serpent. Here we go.

If you want to be treated like a child, I can do it. Don't put... Food in my

bedroom. She wants to talk about last night again. Well, I think we should

it. That is not what happened just now. Let's talk about it after the balloon.

No, let's get it out now. No, but don't say I want to talk about it again.

Because you're obviously very upset about it. Was Eva mad?

Not at all. No. But you know what? She wasn't trying to be very polite.

She was trying to say, no, I got to just do it. I said, just leave her alone.

And you did? And I said, you know what? You're right. I probably shouldn't have.

And then you started crying. No, no, that wasn't me. It wasn't right away. It

wasn't right away she started crying. She wasn't crying right away.

I don't think Dorinda knows how to apologize.

Whoever told her to write a book and her slogan, make it nice, they should have

said, make it not nice.

You think my delivery is bad? I think you overreacted. Okay. So let's agree to

disagree. Perfect. Okay, a truce. So that means we're going to have a safe

air balloon ride. Let's lighten it up. Let's lighten it up. Let's lighten it up

and go in the air balloon. Let's get in that f***ing air balloon and lighten it

up. I'm itching to change my wig, so if we get another five minutes, I'm going

to come back out as a brumette in about two seconds. A brumette?

Well, don't be surprised if one afternoon I come out as Adrienne. Girl,

getting ready to hook you up. Okay, pick one of your wigs. You're the long one.

Jill Zaranita.

Ooh, I love the name.

I only recently started wearing units about six months ago when I got my first

movie role. That's the appropriate name, a unit, not a wig. That's so yesterday.

So you could just put it on and be someone totally new.

Oh, yay, my muse.

Like more of a brunette this morning.

Oh, my God, I love you.

If only I had the energy.

That was quick.

Give me two seconds, I'll be a new lady.

Mm -hmm.

Ooh.

Dorinda, they're ready for you. Oh, yay. Absolutely.

It looks like it needs a little more air, though. You're not going up, girl,

why do you worry about it? Because I don't want my friends to die. Yay!

Look at this.

This is amazing.

Good morning.

Good morning. I am going to take three of you up. All right, who's going first?

You guys go.

All right.

Straddle that balloon, girl.

Straddle it, girl.

Does that feel good? I'm really short -legged.

There we go.

I love the slippers.

I love your slippers, too. Come on, Tam.

We're not biting this one. There's that yoga. Oh, there we go.

Okay. You guys ready?

Oh, my God. Get your little butt in this thing.

Oh, wow.

I got to take a picture. Bye -bye, peasants.

It's beautiful.

They said, look at the view.

I like going up high, but I like to be tied down. I just don't want to be

floating in the atmosphere, not knowing where I'm going to land.

No. I'm okay right here.

Tied down. Yeah. How great is that for Dorinda to be able to see her house?

Oh, wow.

To see my property in this visual, it was the most overwhelming.

feeling to think, as a woman, I've been able to hold on to this by myself.

Something I thought would be impossible without Richard. It is unbelievable,

really. It's done it!

Being the thrill seeker that I am, I was hoping that this hot air balloon was

just going to take me into a whole different state, and we were going to

back around. But now I figured out we were tethered to the Bluestone Manor. So

guess I changed my wig for nothing.

I couldn't do that if it wasn't tethered. I feel like I was brave until

finally think it happened.

Do you guys like it? It was cool.

I guess that's a three.

There's a lot of heat in that thing. Well, let's do two and two because they

only take three. She's not going up. I'm not going up? No, I'm not. Come on.

This is my first time doing this. Yeah, I'm just going to chill on the ground.

Oh, my God.

So cool.

Yay.

So what is it sometimes you see the hot air balloon caught on fire or crashed or

it's just whatever, right?

God, Vicki, do you have to mention it?

It's scary, but it's not as scary as it would be if I was like flying through

the sky like Peter Pan.

Peter Pan that flew through the sky.

My gosh, this is beautiful.

Are you getting a video, Jill?

It's just so lush and so green. I was a little nervous that all the girls had

their cameras out. I don't know if they're going to tip the basket over or

they're going to drop their phones.

I'm just like, and everybody just remains still.

Feel free to stay as long as you want and watch this. But right after this,

we're going to do breakfast.

We'll see you up in a second.

Let's just take this in.

This is insane.

We're back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. I don't think she's over it.

I think you guys should probably talk. She said that... We talked.

Oh, okay. Good.

Oh, it smells good in here.

Good morning, princesses. Hello.

Thank you, Dorinda. Are we having pancakes?

We're having pancakes. I have not had pancakes in forever.

Thank you for arranging that, Dorinda. You're welcome. Hey, ladies. I can't

to hear about the balloon. How was it?

Incredible. Who pushed you off?

No, I'm going to tell you something either of you would have loved it. This

the one event I am not upset about missing.

I don't play with heights without an airplane.

How'd it go? Good.

Had a good show this morning. I'm glad.

One thing I love about what did Brenda.

She accused me of being thirsty for wanting to sit on your bed and listen to

your show.

Thirsty is a trigger word for Jill because Jill's most likely been thirsty.

I think the worst we can accuse Jill of being is overbearing.

knows Jill's thirsty. She knows that she says it before you all say it.

Jill is the thirstiest person, human, I know.

I didn't feel like you were thirsty. I just knew that it couldn't happen.

No, no.

My intention. What did you think my intention was?

Anything other than I wasn't trying to, like, get a radio show.

It's radio.

You can't even see shit. You can't hear anything. I'm wearing the headphones.

Why are we all in arms? I don't even get it. No, but I think we should talk

about this later.

Y 'all should just go talk.

Like, how you got...

This small request turned into a full -on cry and purge. I don't understand

what's happening.

You stayed up late for how early you had to get up. That was what was freaking

me out. I'm like, go to bed. I know, I know. I was trying to get to bed. It was

just, it was such civil unrest.

I just don't like the fighting at night. I think that because the drinking,

like, Psychovich came out at night, like two or three nights in a row. But she

came out yesterday morning, too.

As I'm saying, I don't think it's drinking. Who is Psychovich?

Well, she got really mean.

She got really mean to Jill.

It's not that she had right or no right to get upset. It's the delivery of it.

Do you think housewives has affected y 'all's real relationship?

Because, you know, housewives are the way of life. I don't think it affected

relationship. I think that Dorinda has become a monster from being famous. I'm

little afraid of Dorinda because she's not predictable.

You don't know what you're going to get when you open the door.

I think a lot of it has to do with drinking.

And I don't know what time of day she starts.

She can't let anyone else be bigger, better, or anything.

And she said to me last night, you've never done anything for me to support

First of all, that's not true. When she was let go from the show, I texted her,

I hope you're okay.

If you need anything, I know how it feels.

And when she said last night about her boyfriend, John, she thought the fame

went to his head.

No, I think John loved me, but I think John loved the fame. But I think he

the fame. I think fame is very enticing. I'm laughing in my heart because I'm

like, the fame didn't go to his head. The fame went to your head.

Knock,

knock. Come in.

Come in, come in. Lady of the house.

If you shut the door. Yes.

I just want to get, I feel like you've become the voice of reason in this

I don't like having conversations in people's house without them there. I

listen, it's a lot. There's a lot of people here.

Yeah. And I'm trying really hard to make it, you know, nice and perfect. And

maybe I shouldn't give a shit.

Maybe that's the problem. What she needs to come in here and say is what she's

mad about and that she hasn't gotten over or that she resents or any of those

things and have that conversation. Clear that up.

I'm sorry I didn't let you film with me five years ago. Every year she's trying

to insert herself to try to be back on the show, I think. To tell you the

I didn't even realize it until the whole season was over and someone said, yeah,

Jill's mad at you. I guess you did a thing with her four months ago and you

didn't film with her. To tell you the truth, to tell you the truth, when I'm

it for filming, I don't even think about anything other than what I'm doing that

night. Maybe she forgets that.

It's a little kindergarten -y to me. She knows I'm a good friend. I may not be

the best friend to her, but this went more wrong for her than me in my eyes.

I don't know what has happened, but there is something that has broken in

friendship. Something is afoot, for sure.

There's something in there. She's bubbling. She's gassy. She needs to let

out.

Tamara, if I wore this already, should I change because it's the same day?

I wouldn't worry about it.

I think it's just a quick lunch. I think that it's a really good idea for all of

us to get out of Menopause Manor, go downtown, have some drinks, some good

and just have fun. Because this is almost like a haunted manor at this

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. We need a medic.

Eva, like, literally is bleeding all over. She just hurt her finger.

Is that you, Tasia?

It's Eva who's bleeding.

Why did I break it now? This is like...

That's why we're short today. Okay.

I don't know if you know this, but I'm a medical doctor as well. What can I do?

Wife, mother, lover, friend.

There we go, mama.

There we go. Wrap me up.

And now nail healer.

Thank you, Dr.

Dorinda. Okay, let's go.

All right, all right. Let's go.

Oh, hello.

How are you? This is adorable.

Well, here's some beautiful cocktails that we're featuring today.

Okay. And don't sleep on those cocktails on draft, too. Oh, wow.

Oh, their cocktails are delicious here.

Today we're day drinking because, let's face it, we're all a bit, you know,

tentative around each other. I'm going to get a vodka. All right. We have to

have a couple throwbacks to kind of calm the nerves.

After last night's drunken escapades.

I'm crossing my fingers that this will be a good choice for us today. And

there's also this one with the tequila. If you like tequila, that's delicious.

Which one's that? The Battle of... It's the region in Mexico where the tequila

is produced.

Which one's not really sweet?

None of the cocktails are particularly sweet.

Balance is the name of the game, so we like to have that honey and that citrus

and the spice.

Yes, I like that.

Balance is the name of the game. Yeah, it is. I'm not a really good drinker.

Something me and Brandy have in common.

Come on, lady.

The party has died.

Everyone's dead?

Dead.

We're getting broke.

Oh, sorry. I thought I had my nipple covers on.

Tamara is so fun.

Looks like she saved my fun soul.

Well, thank you.

Ladies, we have a nice table for you. Yeah, we're going to go out. We'll be

right out with some beautiful snacks.

Oh, wow.

In the little alley here. Isn't that pretty?

Oh, wow. Look at this.

This is beautiful. Thank you so much.

It's nice to get out the house, even though we're in an alleyway. We are

some fresh air, and hopefully this change of scenery will change some

hearts. So I thought after this, we'll all finally enjoy the pool.

Right after we eat. I won't get my finger wet. Yeah, we'll go lay at the

You need to wait 30 minutes.

Okay, that's great.

You guys, I have a question for the table.

What's going on, Brandon? I'm going to ask Phaedra first.

It's a fun little question. I don't like these fun questions.

Okay, when was the last time that you were in love?

Oh. Oh.

Brandon, that's a very benign question for you. I'm proud of you.

How did you meet him?

Oh, I can't tell you that.

Not on the camera.

I am a Scorpio, honey. So I am very private.

Being in the public eye makes it extremely hard to date because you don't

who's being real and who's in it for possibly fame, fortune, and big booty.

So Brandy, are you open for a relationship if I found someone cute for

Yeah. Absolutely. I believe in soulmates. I don't know if I believe in

soulmates. I mean, I don't think you're f***ing like rabbits when you're 85.

I just want someone to push my wheelchair.

All my girlfriends from high school are still married to the same man. And

nobody gets divorced where I'm from.

But that's very OC. No, Chicago.

Oh, she got it. Oh, see, it's three husbands later. They're like, no.

Second husband sucks. Third husband was great. Fourth husband's best.

Yeah. First husband was try.

And then they all end up with somebody about 30 years older than them. Why

you date outside of that then? Why? I haven't had the opportunity.

They just dumped me like a week ago.

Stop saying that. I don't like saying that. It doesn't sound good.

He moved on. You would have been his fourth wife.

I know. His fourth wife. I was twice, and I dated two very serious

relationships. So in defense of him, I could have gotten married, you know, and

it just ended, you know. But I feel like you still love Brooks.

Oh, God, no.

I mean, Brooks has a pretty, there's a lot of chemistry there. She loved that

sexual chemistry.

Shannon was saying you guys got a good workout in last night for Brooks'

birthday.

What did we do last night?

She went from chitty -chitty, bang -banging all day long to 13 months, no

Oh, that's a man.

Retire him.

She would talk about his penis all the time.

Don't say that. She's a lady.

It was the chemistry. It was the chemistry more than anything.

I actually think Vicky's like a deal.

A freak.

Brooks, he's a bad guy, but he was giving her the D, 100%. Did he look

No, he was not attractive.

He was a good -looking guy. Did you hear what she said? No. Let's be done. Done.

And let's raise a hand right here in the Berkshire. Cheers! This is the first

time that I can say everyone is on one accord, and we're actually having a

conversation that's meaningful and not full of drama.

All right, why don't we go back to Bluestone Manor? Let's go to the pool.

Okay. Okay. Let's go to the pool, chit -chat. Okay, put the torches out.

Are you going to go to the pool?

Let's call my mother.

Hi.

Hi.

It's been an interesting week.

Nice, nice. And Gloria, big smile.

Not happy. Come up, Lisa.

Maybe hug your mom. I'm not happy.

Dorinda kind of picked a fight with me over nothing and wouldn't let it go.

Look at this little setup. I like literally went into a panic attack.

It was terrible.

Is she a problem?

Apologize? Are you kidding me? Absolutely not.

I really hope to God I never run into her.

All right. Well, thank you, Mama.

She will have an extraordinarily bad day.

My friend Taylor just came over to spend time with me. I'll call me tomorrow.

All right. I want to know what's going on. I love you, Mama. Bye. I love you.

Hey. Hello, lady.

Well, looky, looky. Look at your fabulousness.

Better work it. Just in case someone can't swim, there's a lifeguard on duty.

I have a special delivery here.

Oh. Oh, who's that for?

Let's guess.

It's not me. My husband doesn't send for her.

Oh, you're kidding me. Did Dorinda send these?

No, I bet Gary did.

Gary most likely sent them.

My boyfriend. We've been together for like almost three years, something like

that. Dear Jill, don't let the others get you down and make you feel blue.

that whatever happens, your family and friends are here waiting for you. I love

you, Gary. Bye.

Oh, hi, Brandi. What can I get you to drink? Look what Gary sent. I have a

Where? Look what Gary sent.

Oh, you finally got your apple back.

Oh, even better. He gave me my apple back. Gary knows where his BJs are

buttered. Like, if you want a BJ, you talk about New York Housewives.

BJ, bing.

Is it okay if I take this to your room?

Oh, please. Thank you. Oh, my God. They're gorgeous.

They're gorgeous.

She was so sweet. In a good way. Oh, my God. Do you want to, like, be back on

that show? Do you want to do, like, more? The short answer is I want to be a

friend on the show.

Why? If you're a friend, you're not usually the drama story.

You're the support.

You know, the show is all in. I love this. I would love to do a week, a two

-week thing with a group of girls.

And be real. Certain girls, maybe from my show, if they were here, I would not

have come. Because I just don't want to.

It's not worth it. But you didn't feel like you had that thing with Dorinda?

Exactly. You see what I'm trying to feel? I felt like I came here with a

slate. And actually, today I had a nice day with her. There was no problem.

I feel like you guys are glossing over it, and something's going to happen.

Somebody's going to turn up, and we're going to have some cocktails, and it's

going to revert back, because you guys actually haven't sat and talked it out.

Exactly.

A hundred percent.

Jill doesn't like confrontation.

She thinks if she makes up with Dorinda, because Dorinda's on pause, that

somehow it will bring them both back to the show together.

What the hell's going on, girls?

Hey, sexy.

You came out here pre -game. I was, because I knew you guys had a head

was upstairs on my computer.

It's 4 .40. I got to get in the shower, and then I got to get my hair done. You

need to be ready at 6 .30. Can someone tell me when it's 6 o 'clock and get me

out the pool? By the way, what's everyone wearing tonight? What kind of

this? Do we know?

I have no idea. It is actually the place where Drenda used to wait tables when

she was young. Oh, it's the Red Lion Inn. Really? The Red Lion Inn. Oh, my

I love you.

Thank you, and we will talk later. Enjoy.

Take my seat. Be in a little bit, darling.

And I know when I leave, you're going to talk about me. We are, for sure.

Oh, my God. It's so beautiful out.

There she is.

There she is.

Oh,

my God. Is this the most beautiful night out? You almost wore that same

thing. If you were down here, that would have been weird.

It was this or that.

All right.

Mama's getting her.

Miranda, that ain't no bad booty for a white lady. I heated the pool for these

bitches. I have not heated that damn pool in 20 years.

I'm basking in it because it's dollars going on in there.

Dollars.

I am not excited to get into a hot pool. I think it's disgusting.

A pool must be cold.

You got to jump into a pool like you jump into life, a little bit scared.

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

ability to dispel the stereotype.

Black people swim.

White people with weaves don't.

Look at you, sexy mama.

You feeling it for tonight?

I'm not yet, but I will.

You and these shoes, I can't.

These get my money. My big hooker behind me. Let me see how these look.

All right.

Anybody that comes to the Berkshires has to stay at Redline Inn. And I had the

great opportunity of working there on and off from the age of 14 until I was

like 24.

fancy. It's like being at your grandmother's house, right?

The Red Line Inn is almost a home away from home for me. I spent a huge amount

of my early adulthood there.

You got the cutest little tiny purses.

I got all the purses. There's this Cartier bag coming down the stairs.

sense. Hello, everybody. Good morning, afternoon, or evening.

I'm starting to have the days blending.

Absolutely fabulous.

Oh, you're beautiful. To give you guys a little bit of...

I like that.

Hi. Black, black, black, and black. We all got kind of the same look on. With

pink. And pink.

And we didn't even talk.

How do you like it? It's like when girls get their periods together, isn't it?

That ship itself.

And Brandi forgot her pants again. Got 11 entrants.

Oh, my God.

I can't.

Here's the famous red line in.

There's the ladies.

Very old.

Us or the household.

Isn't it cute?

Darling. Good evening, ladies. Welcome to Red Lion Inn.

Nice to see you. Oh, we're going to sit? I've got a nice place right here. I

love it. Drinks while we're waiting for your dinner.

Are we eating inside or outside?

We're eating inside. We're preparing a table while we're serving some drinks.

Hello. Hello, ladies.

I'm going to tell you something. Fall is coming.

Fall is coming.

Can you feel it?

We have some cocktail lists for you.

Why, thank you. Well, I know what I'm going to have.

Thank you. So I don't need a cocktail list.

I'm going to do a glass of red wine.

I'm good.

I'm going to have a dirty martini straight up while shaking.

What's a New England traditional dinner?

Everybody, I'll do my thing tonight. Give it to me. Welcome, everyone. Hi,

are you? My name is Dorinda, and I will be your server tonight. Where are you

from? Los Angeles. Los Angeles. Oh, my God. We're so excited to have you in the

Berkshires here today. We have a New England clam chowder tonight for our

special fantastic made with a heavy cream. Okay. So I don't know if you're

lactose intolerant or something.

I am.

Thank you for coming. We're so happy to have you here.

Thank you. Thank you.

I am so not surprised that Dorinda was a worker like I was. I worked at 14. I

think that all of us probably have because there's a reason why we are.

I got fired from almost every job I had as a teenager.

I was not a server, because, yeah, I definitely can't take orders.

Is the blue cheese dressing still homemade?

There is no blue cheese dressing.

What? What?

Dorenda, you have to redo your entire intro.

I love you, Dorenda. I'm sorry, your facts aren't facts anymore, because that

was a long time ago. Like, a long time ago.

Dirty goose, well shaken.

Thank you.

Oh, Vicki, I have a question.

Just thinking about it, remember the rumors when I watched the show, it was

you had a threesome with someone or something?

Brandy's delivery is not always appropriate.

It is no Uber Eats, honey.

Oh, no, I didn't have a threesome.

It was my sister and Lori Waring. We shared a room in New Orleans.

Wow, that's tough. Right, with a sister.

She had a pull -out couch, my sister and I, and Lori went off.

Off the rails trying to think that I was... With your sister?

It was so bizarre.

Go around spreading rumors. I have never been with multiple girls in my life!

She was so thirsty.

I'm like, wait a minute, because this is not the Vicky I met.

Hey, to each their own.

Vicky tries to put off the theory that she's a prude, but she's not a prude.

she ever talks about is sex.

all the time. I would not be into a threesome.

Too much competition.

I'm a lot by myself.

It only takes two to tango. We need no extra ingredients.

Definitely not into threesome. I can barely do threesome. Please.

Our table's ready. Yay!

Let's go.

This meeting is adjourned. We're moving to the dining room. People come from far

and near to see it.

I'm like a tour guide, aren't I? You are.

I just love that you used to work here. What?

The building was built in 1773.

1773. Wow.

This is so cool.

It's very old.

Everything's old.

Like, everything's old.

It feels like death.

Where do you have to go to whoop it up around here at?

That's all I want to know.

We're on the map.

Who do you...

It's still wiggling. What am I supposed to do?

It's gorgeous.

I love it. Don't take it offensively. I was just saying, how do you set the

meter this way?

Which way are we setting the meter, Vicki?

Where are we now on the dial?

I just want to whoop it up. Where do you have to go to whoop it up around here?

Let me turn it up!

Turn it up! If I have to lead the fun bus, like, literally, I'm the driver.

Get in.

Let's go have fun. I thought they were all fun.

Where's the fun?

I might need a little help because I don't know exactly what everyone was

drinking. A dirty martini. I have two of those.

Well, I've got a really good question. I was thinking about it a bit today

because we're all here. We're all obviously reality stars, ex -reality

whatever. What is the thing that disappointed you the most so you came

like, what?

I mean, did you guys have that? Because I had that. What was yours?

For me to be put on pause, I was like, what?

But, you know, you listen. What did they tell you? I said to Andy at the time,

if it's not going to change the outcome, I don't want to hear why. Because I'm

not interested. Because I know my work. And I know my dedication. I think you

guys see my dedication here. Like, I'm in it.

I'm exhausted.

I can't take a nap for an hour. I'd love to take a nap.

I mean, really? Everybody who watches Roni knows that Dorinda is notoriously

taking a nap or she's going to be cranky for the night. I am not a napper. I'm

tired. Whether it's the time change, whether it's a recovery of COVID. And by

the way, Dorinda, who else took a nap the other day? You did.

Okay, I need to go take a sleep.

Yep. I should probably go check, but I want to take a nap.

It's a different kind of nap. My nap is for refueling. Her nap is for avoiding.

I'll sleep when you guys leave on Saturday.

We're leaving on Saturday? I thought we were leaving on Thursday.

Vicki, do you want to be here? I think eight days is a long time.

Well, then why'd you sign up for it?

Vicki, do you want to be here?

I think eight days is a long time.

Well, then why'd you sign up for it?

Because I did.

But if that's it, you can't say eight days is a long time. If it's too much

you, why'd you sign up for it? Someone's got to support me here. Listen, to say,

like, the countdown or this many days, like... I'm excited to see my grandsons

on Saturday. I'm super excited about that. Friday night, actually. But we're

the moment.

No, no, no, I'm good. I'm not typically used to eight days with a bunch of

women. Since you've been here, Vicki, you just seem a little bit, like,

depressed. I'm doing my best.

I'm not in a happy place. And stop being the victim.

Not be a victim. You're a victim.

No, I'm not a victim. It's always not. This is not you.

I'm a putt.

The first thing you say when you come to my house is, I'm in a bad place.

We don't want to hear it. Then the next day, another thing.

Then the next day, it's urgent care. You went to urgent care to get a steroid

shot. You didn't have a gunshot wound, okay?

Honestly,

after the steroid shot, it has been good.

Who has steroids?

You took your nap. Now tonight you need to have fun. I've never slept before in

the middle of the day. Yeah. I just hit the wall. It couldn't function. I just

feel like you're a little bit, like, slow to warm up. Yeah.

We need to be present. We need to know you. Don't talk to me that way. Okay.

She's right.

The way Dorinda describes her frustration is a little bit more

considering she's hosting all of us ladies in her home.

And so to see someone not wanting or giving it an effort, it gets a little

frustrating. No, no go home complaints. We just want you to turn it up.

In defense of Vicky, is she whooping it up? No, but she is.

Woo wooing a little bit. Just a little woo woo. Not a woo, but a little woo woo

woo woo.

I think there's progression here.

I want to hear about what happened between you and Jill.

We were all told she works in the morning. You knew she did. She told you

several times. I was told, leave her alone. She's doing a job. Kind of

her. And you kept on it. And on it. So I did say. Kept on it and on it? After a

beautiful night.

Down to the woman I brought from Queens to strip for us.

Like down to everything.

The most beautiful night.

However. This is about something bigger. So that's why. What's it about? When

you came with Lou to film with me.

I was told by my producer, you have to do this thing with Ramona. I'm working,

Jill. You remember working, right? Eight years ago. You remember working, right?

Don't try to put me in my place.

The producers had to finish with Ramona.

I think that you were drinking a lot that night as you fought with Ramona. Do

you think it's nice when you have a good girlfriend? I just got here. And when

they don't like something, they say right away, are you drunk?

Wow. I miss you girls.

You know what the strange thing is? There was no tequila. I didn't drink at

I saw you with my own eyes. What are you talking about? I didn't drink at all

that night. Watch the episode.

Yeah, you... Okay, here we go. Episode.

Taste some alligator.

That does not taste like chicken. Not the chicken that I buy. No.

I'm going to get another one. Those are not organic chickens.

And let me tell you something.

I was on a show that you're no longer on.

And I have a job to do. And maybe there's a reason you're not on it

I'm on pause.

Really? I don't think so. Okay.

Who cares? I don't care. I came here because you invited me.

If you say the word thirsty, have a drink. Why don't you have a drink with

word thirsty?

Don't call me thirsty, honey. Okay.

I haven't been with Dorinda a lot in the last couple of years. My only

experience, honestly, is watching her on television. And she just self

-destructs when she drinks.

I don't know why she does it. But, of course, I don't know why people drink

because I don't drink.

I have a question.

You know what? You ruined the whole night for all of us. Yeah, you did

it was beautiful.

We should have turned it up and had fun.

We had a great time.

No, hold on. You were hysterical over what?

What were you hysterical over? That was histrionic. Oh, my God. I don't have to

defend myself. That was crazy. And for you to try to make me feel bad about

feeling bad instead of being a host, you want to be known as the host of the

most recent time. I'm a host.

Jealous.

Jealous. Jealous.

Okay, I have to say something.

All right, so you came into Phaedra's room and dropped a bomb about Bobby's

funeral. And left Bobby's funeral?

I said I was there the day after, and you were talking about Gary. Is that not

true?

Whether it's true or not, I don't think it was a nice thing to say. No, but you

were. You said, he's a friend of mine, and I know it's difficult.

Live by your truth, Jill. But you guys both said some shit.

I didn't talk to you on the day of your funeral. We were filming.

Because you made us film that day. Poppy loved you. I know, I know, I know, I

know. I'm alone now. I don't want to do that. We're all alone. I don't want to

do that. What am I going to do?

I didn't know there was anybody there. Cameras were there, honey. Didn't know

that. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do that. You called them.

You have to get rid of them.

Please just own it. Our camera's there if Jill didn't authorize it. What is the

truth? I've never known there to be a camera at a funeral. I kind of want to

know a little bit more.

that I kind of don't want to know a little bit more.

The cameras are there. You talked to Bethany about it. I didn't know she was

Mike, and that's the truth.

Bethany called me and said, Jill wants me to film.

Oh, my God, you're making shit up as you go along. I mean, really.

Why don't you call her right now and ask her? I would never do that. Then call a

producer. Call Andy Cohen.

What I thought was really bizarre, you told the production crew you wanted to

film it. Actually, we were invited.

By Jill. We wanted to cover the funeral.

I don't want to be filmed at Bobby's funeral. I find it morbid. We have

that say that you, from your assistant.

I'd love to see them and he's not my assistant.

That Jill would like to invite Bravo into the funeral. But do you have them

me? From my email address?

No, they're from your old assistant.

Don't you think it's odd that I wasn't CC'd on it?

Never in a million years would I invite Bravo into the funeral.

Never. Outside, sure.

Inside, never.

If you don't believe me, you don't believe me. I don't know what to tell

you know what, you guys? You guys, you both lost your husbands.

No, it has nothing to do with my father. No, no, no. It does.

This is about the show.

Dorinda, I don't want to fight with you. We know each other too long. I don't

want to fight with you either. And I disrespected you in your house. It

I'm a guest in your house.

No, it happened a couple times. I'm a guest in your house. No, no, no. And I

know better. And I am sorry.

I hate fighting with someone who's drank too much. So I'll apologize.

I'll get naked.

I'll spin around like a top. I will do anything to end this so I can have a

time. You guys ready for a threesome? For sure.

Oh, Jesus.

It's just not going to happen.

Brandy, I want to clear one thing up. Okay. Oh, shit.

Something happened in season two of Beverly Hills. Oh, my God. Wait, that

like nine years ago? Yeah, it was your very first year.

Do you regret the fact that you outed that Adrienne used the surrogate when

wasn't prepared to tell her children that? Let's go live 24 -7. I didn't say

anything to you guys so that you'd start an argument. I just, like, you should

know that these are the kind of things you're saying because...

And who knows what else she'd say. That, to me, is unforgivable.

That was not Brandy's place, as it so often is not Brandy's place to say

about other people that have nothing to do with her. Did you feel as though that

was your job to tell the whole?

No, I'm not finished. To tell the whole world that a mother, that a mother. Get

it together.

No, I'm not finished. Watch your fingers.

No, I'm not finished. Watch your fingers.

I'm sorry, Taylor. What Brandy did with Adrian is none of your business.

It's something that I'm not going to let go of because she hurt a family, and it

had nothing to do with her. You chose to out a mother about the way she chose to

give birth to her children when she hadn't had a chance to tell her own

children? Did you know you were out of nurse?

Yes, she knew. Everyone in Beverly Hills knew. I did not. The world didn't know.

The world did not know, and I've been in mommy. Don't raise your voice. Please

don't raise your voice. It's okay.

Taylor's drinking too much.

Taylor can't hold her liquor.

And bringing up this Adrienne again.

She weaponized secrets of people in Beverly Hills that weren't even told to

One of my friends, her children were birthed by a surrogate, and I never knew

it. And they found out about it on the show.

This one found out about it, and she viewed it. She'll find stuff out about

other people and weaponize it, and she doesn't give a shit who's hurt in the

interim. I think whatever happened in their past TV shows and their past life

with these women, it's in the past.

I could go back and forth with Tamara all day long about crap she did to me

crap I did to her. For what?

And you decided it was right for you to tell the world how she gave birth to

her? I think if you're going to be on a reality show, and I think you know this

better than anyone, you're sharing a lot of shit. Her and I are very close now,

so this is not anything mean.

Adrian and I are cool. We text. We see each other. Like, we've been fine for so

long.

Taylor, who, honestly, at this point?

I forgot she was there, and I feel like she's just coming after me to have a TV

moment. My frustration with Brandi is years of pent -up anger.

This is going to be said one way or another.

Now, throw a martini on it, it's going to happen more quickly, but she's going

to hear how I feel about this.

In season one, when all the classy ladies were there, we all agreed to...

no, no, I'm not finished.

I'm not finished.

You came on through the f***ing pot. Everybody knows that. You're just a

cinnamon stick in an actually successful pot of water.

What the f*** is a cinnamon stick in a... What? What is an unsuccessful pot

water? Let's just start there. Is it not alkaline? Is it fat? What happened was

you jumped in the water on top of a building which the successful six of us

trying to protect each other.

Oh, if I jump across this table, it will not be cute. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh,

if I jump across this table, it will not be cute. No, no, no, no, no, no. I got

a heavy boot on. You sit down. Taylor, Taylor, Taylor.

No, I'm not finished. I have a lot of unresolved issues with Brandi. I'm not

just going to let her try to sweet talk me one time and put it all behind me.

There's a lot more that needs to be said.

Ask everybody else how many critics choice the words they've won. I'm sorry

what? Reality television, we're the only one that ever won one.

What did you just say?

This is just silly and petty.

Oh my God, you're just like Jill and Dorinda.

Jill and Dorinda?

You back that shit up right now. You guys are obsessed with how popular

is. You are. You go on every fucking show that you can possibly be on.

You show up whenever you can as a one -night stand, so don't do that to me.

Don't do that, Tornado. You guys are like, I'm more popular than you are.

My point is that you made fun of the fact that the original Beverly Hills

housewives weren't good. That was not me.

Successful. Were you successful?

Wow.

Brandi just went way too low. Now she's just throwing.

That is the most disgusting thing to say.

She's weaponizing death.

Anyone throwing a rock at Brandi should expect five bullets to come back.

You guys don't play how I play.

I need a second. Y 'all are like, what the fuck?

I can't even be around that. It's so disgusting.

And I get it. Like, some people's tactics in life are, you hit me, I'm

hit you harder. But you can't respond in that way. It doesn't matter how mad you

are. Take it back.

No. Take it back.

You just said that?

Yes, I did. Why'd you say it? Because you said it to me.

That's what you're going to go to?

But that's a little low. Because guess what? Death ain't playing. No, that's

low. She's coming after me. It doesn't matter. You're going to. About your own

actions. I'm not coming after you after what you. You said that you were so

successful. No, shut the fuck up, okay?

Listen for a minute, Brandy. For once, you listen to your own words. Shut the

fuck up. That's how it makes people feel. You listen to me. Okay, I'm going

walk away because I'm about to get... Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm trying to help

you. I'm trying to help you. This is not helping.

Well, if you would listen, maybe it would help you. No, it's not helping.

When you stop attacking people, it matters.

Stop it.

Listen, Brandy is a low blow girl. Just don't go there with her. Why are you

bringing up old... If it was something that just happened, I get it. But this

stuff is so old.

You got to let it go. I'm sorry. You're coming at me with fingers in the face.

I'm going to say what I'm going to say.

I know, and I love that about you.

Randy's actually showing a little restraint because she is leaving the

rather than beating up on Taylor like I'm sure she wants to.

Literally, she said, I was talking about them, and I've never done that. Because

I'm friends with Kyle. I'm friends with Kim. I'm friends with Rinna. I'm not

like, are you joking?

I've never said a bad word about the girls.

At all. And it's not a fight to have. It's ten years ago. I'm sorry I went

but she said we were successful.

I know. She was trying to make I'm better than you. I'm better than you.

didn't like that. Has she ever apologized? She said she's friends with

Did she ever apologize?

I mean, is that a beef between them two or you two?

I don't know, but it speaks volumes to me about her character.

It wasn't right of what I did. That's what she asked you. Would you take it

if you could?

No.

You don't regret it? Nope. Yes, it was over the top, but I'm sick of being the

bad guy for people that have no problem with me, really.

Why is it so important to Taylor? That's what I'm trying to figure out. I don't

have the capability to be so angry with someone that I would go after their

child.

Well, there's no excuse for going after somebody's child.

No. But she said they're friends now. I find that hard to believe. I mean, it

has been a long time, but Brandy has not matured much.

Can I have a sip?

You don't need any wine.

Listen. You're literally not even drinking wine.

I don't do dark negative shit.

I just have to tune it out because we are some wealthy women sitting around

arguing about...

Somebody told somebody a secret about somebody.

I mean, this is foolishness.

This is, hands down, the craziest dinner.

And the hardest chairs, because these little wood chairs are awful.

All this cushion I have in my butt can't even make this chair soft.

Let's eat some pie, honey. Yes. I like dessert. Let's eat some pie.

Any more hands on my face, though? I don't know what I'm going to do. Yeah,

like, keep your hands in your pants.

Exactly. Well, bring it up again. Yeah, 10 years later.

Well, I mean, it's in college.

Because I think it speaks anthologies about who she is. No, it doesn't. Who

was. 15 years ago. People change.

She did that like 10 years ago. People change. I'm not the same person. She's

not apologizing for it.

Well, she said she's friends with Adrian, so maybe she did apologize to

it doesn't affect you.

Don't ever say that about her husband.

You should never go there. You should be gracious, kind, and blissful. Don't

ever do that, Brandi. I love you so much.

That's really mean. It's so dark.

How about if your son died?

Whoa! We don't go there.

Dorinda, what the hell?

Come on. Come on. You're a mom.

How about if that happens?

We don't talk about kids and death. Nope, nope, nope. You don't talk about

somebody's child and death, and you don't even put that out there. Well,

no excuse for going after somebody's child.

No. It's just off -limits.

Bad karma. Don't say that. Don't say that. Don't say that. We were saying,

kids and death.

What are you doing, Dorinda? This isn't your fight.

And how f***ing dare you?

What she said was wrong. I completely agree. And I think she owed you an

apology. Can you talk about my children?

No, I would never.

You just did.

You bring it up. Let it go.

My husband died.

Death is terrible.

You can't compare children. Let her walk away. I'm sorry about that.

I'm going to meet you ladies in the front of the restaurant. Are you f***ing

kidding me?

Give me vodka now.

You got it.

You know what's going on here doing this drinking. I know that.

It isn't okay.

And that's what happens when people drink.

That's what happens when people let the alcohol drink.

Thank you for not going after her.

Because two wrongs don't make a right.

Oh, my God, we just can't do that. Two wrongs don't make a right.

You just go try to beat her up. That lady could be your mama. You can't do

No, she's only five years older than me. For real?

Listen, you make a mockery of people dying?

Bitch, get out of my face right now. No, no, no. I'm saying it right now because

you referenced my fucking child.

I literally will not fuck with you. You don't want this.

I really feel sorry for Dorinda because I think that she's out of control on all

levels. You just gotta chill.

with the wrong bitch.

I was about to fuck that bitch up.

What is that?

This is some crazy shit at Dorinda's old work job. She's not getting a job back

here again, that's for sure. She'll never get hired.

Hey guys, can we go home? The four of us, we got a car.

Okay, let's go back and whoop it. Come on.

It's not whoop it, it's whoop it up.

Whoop it up.

Absolutely.

God, can we just have one good night?

This is less like the Berkshires and more like the

Get home and go to bed.

We're not going to bed. We're going to whoop it up.

Oh, we're going to whoop it up. Oh, we're going to whoop it.