All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.Ultimate.Girls.TripS02E5

Good old -fashioned Alka -Seltzer. You
never let me down. You've been good to

for many, many years.

Is there anybody to close the door?
Because I really feel like they can hear

Hi, Marco.

How are you doing? Are we running a
little slow this morning?

Yes, I definitely am. Will you go
through the whole schedule today?

Because it changed a little bit, right?

Yeah.

Someone should stand at the door just to
make sure. Like last night, you know

that happened? They burst in. Move over.

Move over. How have you supported me for
years?

You could do it because you cried, and
you got the mascara to show it.

What are you talking about?

There's this underlying tension of a
little bit of history. It's not even a

deal. But last night, I didn't even
bring it up, and she brought it up. I've

supported you for years.

I've supported you for years with Bobby,
when Bobby died.

I sat at that funeral. I did everything.
Two weeks later, you're dating Gary. I

was supportive of that.

So I removed myself. I said, I'm going
to bed.

The reason we switched it around is
because we need the cold air for the hot

balloon to be able to function.

So let's get the girls out a little bit
early. Let's say 8 .45.

Okay. And then once that's done, we'll
have our breakfast at around 9 .45.

Okay, let the girls know, will you?
Absolutely.

Someone's got to be the voice of reason
because it is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs in

this house with her. I don't want to be
the bad guy anymore.

Grand rising, rich rising, wealthy
rising. It's a beautiful Monday morning.

y 'all feeling?

It's cold out there. It's cold.

So everybody should dress warm.

How many people can go up at a time? I'm
going to go find that all out right

now. Well, it's too cold out there for
me. I'll stay inside.

I'm hoping that the totter balloon lifts
everyone's parents literally and

figuratively.

Wow. Hi, Brandy.

Good morning. Oh, my goodness.

Do we have a suitcase explosion in here?

Phaedra, it's Marco. I have the steamer.

Can I come in?

What time are we supposed to leave?

9 .45.

Okay, you have to make your bed so we
don't get in trouble.

Look, it's here.

I thought we had to leave.

We do. Look what's here.

What?

I didn't realize the balloon was going
to be here. I thought we were going

somewhere. The balloon does not wait
for...

Anyone, even Bluestone Manor. Look at
this. Lift it up. Pretty.

I haven't been on one in years.

Yeah, I've never been on one either.

It's only going to tether up for like
500 feet and then come down, so don't

scared. I'm just not doing it. Oh,
you're not doing it? I am. No, I'm not.

Oh, you're not? No, I have like a really
bad fear of heights.

What if a bird flies onto it and it
explodes? And I saw on TMZ that one went

down that way. So, sorry, I'm afraid of
heights, and I don't need to risk my

life for no reason. I have kids.

The balloon is here? It's here.

What the?

Me. You don't need your bag.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Go get Vicky. She's on her way down.
She's getting dressed. Go get them.

one more missing. Oh, is Eva going to
make it or no? No, she's doing a radio

show. I didn't know she was going to
take off.

Oh, you made it. Good morning. I'm back.
Your shirt is safe today.

This one? Yeah.

Let me find out what time they want us
to actually go down.

Good morning, Taylor.

Hi, darling.

Can someone tell me about the elephant
in the room?

Can I get some more coffee before the
elephant in the room comes out?

I wonder if there's to go. She has no
recollection of the damage she did to

Oh, Lord Jesus. Not an apology, not
Jill, let's talk later. It's not the

time right now.

Up, up and away.

I'm not going to bring it up, but I
would appreciate it if somebody else

Dorinda.

confronts anything head on. She does not
avoid any fights.

She won't, I mean, she's a little Mike
Tyson.

I don't think she'll bite your ear off.

We'll talk about it. Okay, so let's do
it after we get off this. No, no, of

course. I don't want to get stuck in
that balloon screaming and yelling.

pretty picture.

Doesn't that look pretty?

He's doing the split. Look at him. What
is it? It's a frog.

Do I get warts if I touch him? No. Well,
maybe.

Oh, that was nice of you. You helped him
get across.

I helped him. Aw.

Aw, little foggy. Where is he? He's on
this side of the chair. Aw.

Look how cute. Oh, God!

There he is.

He just peed on you.

What?

You really are a country girl. You are
going to pull out before someone hurts

you. I better go wash my hands now.

I think the frog was in the room last
night and saw what she did to me. I'm

going to wash my hands because the frog
peed on my hand.

I think it was peeing for me.

Just saying. You missed it. How did she
miss it? She missed the whole thing in

the living room and to the thing.

Hi. You don't have to stop because of
me.

You don't have to talk. Right with me
here.

You know what? I want to talk to you. I
think we should do it after the air

balloon. No, no. We can talk now.

Do you remember last night?

100%. Okay. I remember you saying that
you wanted to be on the show. Poor Eva's

trying to do her job.

It's the Ricky Smiley Morning Show. You
know what's going down, and I have Eva's

Corner coming up.

Today's topic is co -parenting. And then
you said, can I come and just lay and

watch, which I think was a little
thirsty.

You think so? Yeah. And I think she
does, too.

Really? I'd like to hear her opinion.

I'd like to hear everyone's opinion. And
I think I said, leave the girl alone.

Like, she clearly is trying to give you
a message that she doesn't want you in

there. Just let her do her job. It just
looks a little thirsty, Jill.

I didn't feel like Jill was being
thirsty. I just felt like she was being

supportive of Eva.

Maybe Jill is a little thirsty.

But if you know Jill, that's just Jill.
I mean, it's a radio show, girls. Let's

just take a breath.

I was trying to support her as like an
audience. No, I didn't get the message,

but you didn't have to be so mean about
it. Why are you so mean about it? I

didn't think I would. You were. Okay.
Well, okay. Well, I don't have this

problem with anyone else. That's not
true. I really don't. That's my world.

You're saying bullshit. It's on the
internet.

Oh, the internet.

The internet sends a unicorn showing up.
Stop with your bullshit.

Face of an angel, mouth of a serpent.
Here we go.

If you want to be treated like a child,
I can do it. Don't put... Food in my

bedroom. She wants to talk about last
night again. Well, I think we should

it. That is not what happened just now.
Let's talk about it after the balloon.

No, let's get it out now. No, but don't
say I want to talk about it again.

Because you're obviously very upset
about it. Was Eva mad?

Not at all. No. But you know what? She
wasn't trying to be very polite.

She was trying to say, no, I got to just
do it. I said, just leave her alone.

And you did? And I said, you know what?
You're right. I probably shouldn't have.

And then you started crying. No, no,
that wasn't me. It wasn't right away. It

wasn't right away she started crying.
She wasn't crying right away.

I don't think Dorinda knows how to
apologize.

Whoever told her to write a book and her
slogan, make it nice, they should have

said, make it not nice.

You think my delivery is bad? I think
you overreacted. Okay. So let's agree to

disagree. Perfect. Okay, a truce. So
that means we're going to have a safe

air balloon ride. Let's lighten it up.
Let's lighten it up. Let's lighten it up

and go in the air balloon. Let's get in
that f***ing air balloon and lighten it

up. I'm itching to change my wig, so if
we get another five minutes, I'm going

to come back out as a brumette in about
two seconds. A brumette?

Well, don't be surprised if one
afternoon I come out as Adrienne. Girl,

getting ready to hook you up. Okay, pick
one of your wigs. You're the long one.

Jill Zaranita.

Ooh, I love the name.

I only recently started wearing units
about six months ago when I got my first

movie role. That's the appropriate name,
a unit, not a wig. That's so yesterday.

So you could just put it on and be
someone totally new.

Oh, yay, my muse.

Like more of a brunette this morning.

Oh, my God, I love you.

If only I had the energy.

That was quick.

Give me two seconds, I'll be a new lady.

Mm -hmm.

Ooh.

Dorinda, they're ready for you. Oh, yay.
Absolutely.

It looks like it needs a little more
air, though. You're not going up, girl,

why do you worry about it? Because I
don't want my friends to die. Yay!

Look at this.

This is amazing.

Good morning.

Good morning. I am going to take three
of you up. All right, who's going first?

You guys go.

All right.

Straddle that balloon, girl.

Straddle it, girl.

Does that feel good? I'm really short
-legged.

There we go.

I love the slippers.

I love your slippers, too. Come on, Tam.

We're not biting this one. There's that
yoga. Oh, there we go.

Okay. You guys ready?

Oh, my God. Get your little butt in this
thing.

Oh, wow.

I got to take a picture. Bye -bye,
peasants.

It's beautiful.

They said, look at the view.

I like going up high, but I like to be
tied down. I just don't want to be

floating in the atmosphere, not knowing
where I'm going to land.

No. I'm okay right here.

Tied down. Yeah. How great is that for
Dorinda to be able to see her house?

Oh, wow.

To see my property in this visual, it
was the most overwhelming.

feeling to think, as a woman, I've been
able to hold on to this by myself.

Something I thought would be impossible
without Richard. It is unbelievable,

really. It's done it!

Being the thrill seeker that I am, I was
hoping that this hot air balloon was

just going to take me into a whole
different state, and we were going to

back around. But now I figured out we
were tethered to the Bluestone Manor. So

guess I changed my wig for nothing.

I couldn't do that if it wasn't
tethered. I feel like I was brave until

finally think it happened.

Do you guys like it? It was cool.

I guess that's a three.

There's a lot of heat in that thing.
Well, let's do two and two because they

only take three. She's not going up. I'm
not going up? No, I'm not. Come on.

This is my first time doing this. Yeah,
I'm just going to chill on the ground.

Oh, my God.

So cool.

Yay.

So what is it sometimes you see the hot
air balloon caught on fire or crashed or

it's just whatever, right?

God, Vicki, do you have to mention it?

It's scary, but it's not as scary as it
would be if I was like flying through

the sky like Peter Pan.

Peter Pan that flew through the sky.

My gosh, this is beautiful.

Are you getting a video, Jill?

It's just so lush and so green. I was a
little nervous that all the girls had

their cameras out. I don't know if
they're going to tip the basket over or

they're going to drop their phones.

I'm just like, and everybody just
remains still.

Feel free to stay as long as you want
and watch this. But right after this,

we're going to do breakfast.

We'll see you up in a second.

Let's just take this in.

This is insane.

We're back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. I don't
think she's over it.

I think you guys should probably talk.
She said that... We talked.

Oh, okay. Good.

Oh, it smells good in here.

Good morning, princesses. Hello.

Thank you, Dorinda. Are we having
pancakes?

We're having pancakes. I have not had
pancakes in forever.

Thank you for arranging that, Dorinda.
You're welcome. Hey, ladies. I can't

to hear about the balloon. How was it?

Incredible. Who pushed you off?

No, I'm going to tell you something
either of you would have loved it. This

the one event I am not upset about
missing.

I don't play with heights without an
airplane.

How'd it go? Good.

Had a good show this morning. I'm glad.

One thing I love about what did Brenda.

She accused me of being thirsty for
wanting to sit on your bed and listen to

your show.

Thirsty is a trigger word for Jill
because Jill's most likely been thirsty.

I think the worst we can accuse Jill of
being is overbearing.

knows Jill's thirsty. She knows that she
says it before you all say it.

Jill is the thirstiest person, human, I
know.

I didn't feel like you were thirsty. I
just knew that it couldn't happen.

No, no.

My intention. What did you think my
intention was?

Anything other than I wasn't trying to,
like, get a radio show.

It's radio.

You can't even see shit. You can't hear
anything. I'm wearing the headphones.

Why are we all in arms? I don't even get
it. No, but I think we should talk

about this later.

Y 'all should just go talk.

Like, how you got...

This small request turned into a full
-on cry and purge. I don't understand

what's happening.

You stayed up late for how early you had
to get up. That was what was freaking

me out. I'm like, go to bed. I know, I
know. I was trying to get to bed. It was

just, it was such civil unrest.

I just don't like the fighting at night.
I think that because the drinking,

like, Psychovich came out at night, like
two or three nights in a row. But she

came out yesterday morning, too.

As I'm saying, I don't think it's
drinking. Who is Psychovich?

Well, she got really mean.

She got really mean to Jill.

It's not that she had right or no right
to get upset. It's the delivery of it.

Do you think housewives has affected y
'all's real relationship?

Because, you know, housewives are the
way of life. I don't think it affected

relationship. I think that Dorinda has
become a monster from being famous. I'm

little afraid of Dorinda because she's
not predictable.

You don't know what you're going to get
when you open the door.

I think a lot of it has to do with
drinking.

And I don't know what time of day she
starts.

She can't let anyone else be bigger,
better, or anything.

And she said to me last night, you've
never done anything for me to support

First of all, that's not true. When she
was let go from the show, I texted her,

I hope you're okay.

If you need anything, I know how it
feels.

And when she said last night about her
boyfriend, John, she thought the fame

went to his head.

No, I think John loved me, but I think
John loved the fame. But I think he

the fame. I think fame is very enticing.
I'm laughing in my heart because I'm

like, the fame didn't go to his head.
The fame went to your head.

Knock,

knock. Come in.

Come in, come in. Lady of the house.

If you shut the door. Yes.

I just want to get, I feel like you've
become the voice of reason in this

I don't like having conversations in
people's house without them there. I

listen, it's a lot. There's a lot of
people here.

Yeah. And I'm trying really hard to make
it, you know, nice and perfect. And

maybe I shouldn't give a shit.

Maybe that's the problem. What she needs
to come in here and say is what she's

mad about and that she hasn't gotten
over or that she resents or any of those

things and have that conversation. Clear
that up.

I'm sorry I didn't let you film with me
five years ago. Every year she's trying

to insert herself to try to be back on
the show, I think. To tell you the

I didn't even realize it until the whole
season was over and someone said, yeah,

Jill's mad at you. I guess you did a
thing with her four months ago and you

didn't film with her. To tell you the
truth, to tell you the truth, when I'm

it for filming, I don't even think about
anything other than what I'm doing that

night. Maybe she forgets that.

It's a little kindergarten -y to me. She
knows I'm a good friend. I may not be

the best friend to her, but this went
more wrong for her than me in my eyes.

I don't know what has happened, but
there is something that has broken in

friendship. Something is afoot, for
sure.

There's something in there. She's
bubbling. She's gassy. She needs to let

out.

Tamara, if I wore this already, should I
change because it's the same day?

I wouldn't worry about it.

I think it's just a quick lunch. I think
that it's a really good idea for all of

us to get out of Menopause Manor, go
downtown, have some drinks, some good

and just have fun. Because this is
almost like a haunted manor at this

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. We need a medic.

Eva, like, literally is bleeding all
over. She just hurt her finger.

Is that you, Tasia?

It's Eva who's bleeding.

Why did I break it now? This is like...

That's why we're short today. Okay.

I don't know if you know this, but I'm a
medical doctor as well. What can I do?

Wife, mother, lover, friend.

There we go, mama.

There we go. Wrap me up.

And now nail healer.

Thank you, Dr.

Dorinda. Okay, let's go.

All right, all right. Let's go.

Oh, hello.

How are you? This is adorable.

Well, here's some beautiful cocktails
that we're featuring today.

Okay. And don't sleep on those cocktails
on draft, too. Oh, wow.

Oh, their cocktails are delicious here.

Today we're day drinking because, let's
face it, we're all a bit, you know,

tentative around each other. I'm going
to get a vodka. All right. We have to

have a couple throwbacks to kind of calm
the nerves.

After last night's drunken escapades.

I'm crossing my fingers that this will
be a good choice for us today. And

there's also this one with the tequila.
If you like tequila, that's delicious.

Which one's that? The Battle of... It's
the region in Mexico where the tequila

is produced.

Which one's not really sweet?

None of the cocktails are particularly
sweet.

Balance is the name of the game, so we
like to have that honey and that citrus

and the spice.

Yes, I like that.

Balance is the name of the game. Yeah,
it is. I'm not a really good drinker.

Something me and Brandy have in common.

Come on, lady.

The party has died.

Everyone's dead?

Dead.

We're getting broke.

Oh, sorry. I thought I had my nipple
covers on.

Tamara is so fun.

Looks like she saved my fun soul.

Well, thank you.

Ladies, we have a nice table for you.
Yeah, we're going to go out. We'll be

right out with some beautiful snacks.

Oh, wow.

In the little alley here. Isn't that
pretty?

Oh, wow. Look at this.

This is beautiful. Thank you so much.

It's nice to get out the house, even
though we're in an alleyway. We are

some fresh air, and hopefully this
change of scenery will change some

hearts. So I thought after this, we'll
all finally enjoy the pool.

Right after we eat. I won't get my
finger wet. Yeah, we'll go lay at the

You need to wait 30 minutes.

Okay, that's great.

You guys, I have a question for the
table.

What's going on, Brandon? I'm going to
ask Phaedra first.

It's a fun little question. I don't like
these fun questions.

Okay, when was the last time that you
were in love?

Oh. Oh.

Brandon, that's a very benign question
for you. I'm proud of you.

How did you meet him?

Oh, I can't tell you that.

Not on the camera.

I am a Scorpio, honey. So I am very
private.

Being in the public eye makes it
extremely hard to date because you don't

who's being real and who's in it for
possibly fame, fortune, and big booty.

So Brandy, are you open for a
relationship if I found someone cute for

Yeah. Absolutely. I believe in
soulmates. I don't know if I believe in

soulmates. I mean, I don't think you're
f***ing like rabbits when you're 85.

I just want someone to push my
wheelchair.

All my girlfriends from high school are
still married to the same man. And

nobody gets divorced where I'm from.

But that's very OC. No, Chicago.

Oh, she got it. Oh, see, it's three
husbands later. They're like, no.

Second husband sucks. Third husband was
great. Fourth husband's best.

Yeah. First husband was try.

And then they all end up with somebody
about 30 years older than them. Why

you date outside of that then? Why? I
haven't had the opportunity.

They just dumped me like a week ago.

Stop saying that. I don't like saying
that. It doesn't sound good.

He moved on. You would have been his
fourth wife.

I know. His fourth wife. I was twice,
and I dated two very serious

relationships. So in defense of him, I
could have gotten married, you know, and

it just ended, you know. But I feel like
you still love Brooks.

Oh, God, no.

I mean, Brooks has a pretty, there's a
lot of chemistry there. She loved that

sexual chemistry.

Shannon was saying you guys got a good
workout in last night for Brooks'

birthday.

What did we do last night?

She went from chitty -chitty, bang
-banging all day long to 13 months, no

Oh, that's a man.

Retire him.

She would talk about his penis all the
time.

Don't say that. She's a lady.

It was the chemistry. It was the
chemistry more than anything.

I actually think Vicky's like a deal.

A freak.

Brooks, he's a bad guy, but he was
giving her the D, 100%. Did he look

No, he was not attractive.

He was a good -looking guy. Did you hear
what she said? No. Let's be done. Done.

And let's raise a hand right here in the
Berkshire. Cheers! This is the first

time that I can say everyone is on one
accord, and we're actually having a

conversation that's meaningful and not
full of drama.

All right, why don't we go back to
Bluestone Manor? Let's go to the pool.

Okay. Okay. Let's go to the pool, chit
-chat. Okay, put the torches out.

Are you going to go to the pool?

Let's call my mother.

Hi.

Hi.

It's been an interesting week.

Nice, nice. And Gloria, big smile.

Not happy. Come up, Lisa.

Maybe hug your mom. I'm not happy.

Dorinda kind of picked a fight with me
over nothing and wouldn't let it go.

Look at this little setup. I like
literally went into a panic attack.

It was terrible.

Is she a problem?

Apologize? Are you kidding me?
Absolutely not.

I really hope to God I never run into
her.

All right. Well, thank you, Mama.

She will have an extraordinarily bad
day.

My friend Taylor just came over to spend
time with me. I'll call me tomorrow.

All right. I want to know what's going
on. I love you, Mama. Bye. I love you.

Hey. Hello, lady.

Well, looky, looky. Look at your
fabulousness.

Better work it. Just in case someone
can't swim, there's a lifeguard on duty.

I have a special delivery here.

Oh. Oh, who's that for?

Let's guess.

It's not me. My husband doesn't send for
her.

Oh, you're kidding me. Did Dorinda send
these?

No, I bet Gary did.

Gary most likely sent them.

My boyfriend. We've been together for
like almost three years, something like

that. Dear Jill, don't let the others
get you down and make you feel blue.

that whatever happens, your family and
friends are here waiting for you. I love

you, Gary. Bye.

Oh, hi, Brandi. What can I get you to
drink? Look what Gary sent. I have a

Where? Look what Gary sent.

Oh, you finally got your apple back.

Oh, even better. He gave me my apple
back. Gary knows where his BJs are

buttered. Like, if you want a BJ, you
talk about New York Housewives.

BJ, bing.

Is it okay if I take this to your room?

Oh, please. Thank you. Oh, my God.
They're gorgeous.

They're gorgeous.

She was so sweet. In a good way. Oh, my
God. Do you want to, like, be back on

that show? Do you want to do, like,
more? The short answer is I want to be a

friend on the show.

Why? If you're a friend, you're not
usually the drama story.

You're the support.

You know, the show is all in. I love
this. I would love to do a week, a two

-week thing with a group of girls.

And be real. Certain girls, maybe from
my show, if they were here, I would not

have come. Because I just don't want to.

It's not worth it. But you didn't feel
like you had that thing with Dorinda?

Exactly. You see what I'm trying to
feel? I felt like I came here with a

slate. And actually, today I had a nice
day with her. There was no problem.

I feel like you guys are glossing over
it, and something's going to happen.

Somebody's going to turn up, and we're
going to have some cocktails, and it's

going to revert back, because you guys
actually haven't sat and talked it out.

Exactly.

A hundred percent.

Jill doesn't like confrontation.

She thinks if she makes up with Dorinda,
because Dorinda's on pause, that

somehow it will bring them both back to
the show together.

What the hell's going on, girls?

Hey, sexy.

You came out here pre -game. I was,
because I knew you guys had a head

was upstairs on my computer.

It's 4 .40. I got to get in the shower,
and then I got to get my hair done. You

need to be ready at 6 .30. Can someone
tell me when it's 6 o 'clock and get me

out the pool? By the way, what's
everyone wearing tonight? What kind of

this? Do we know?

I have no idea. It is actually the place
where Drenda used to wait tables when

she was young. Oh, it's the Red Lion
Inn. Really? The Red Lion Inn. Oh, my

I love you.

Thank you, and we will talk later.
Enjoy.

Take my seat. Be in a little bit,
darling.

And I know when I leave, you're going to
talk about me. We are, for sure.

Oh, my God. It's so beautiful out.

There she is.

There she is.

Oh,

my God. Is this the most beautiful night
out? You almost wore that same

thing. If you were down here, that would
have been weird.

It was this or that.

All right.

Mama's getting her.

Miranda, that ain't no bad booty for a
white lady. I heated the pool for these

bitches. I have not heated that damn
pool in 20 years.

I'm basking in it because it's dollars
going on in there.

Dollars.

I am not excited to get into a hot pool.
I think it's disgusting.

A pool must be cold.

You got to jump into a pool like you
jump into life, a little bit scared.

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

ability to dispel the stereotype.

Black people swim.

White people with weaves don't.

Look at you, sexy mama.

You feeling it for tonight?

I'm not yet, but I will.

You and these shoes, I can't.

These get my money. My big hooker behind
me. Let me see how these look.

All right.

Anybody that comes to the Berkshires has
to stay at Redline Inn. And I had the

great opportunity of working there on
and off from the age of 14 until I was

like 24.

fancy. It's like being at your
grandmother's house, right?

The Red Line Inn is almost a home away
from home for me. I spent a huge amount

of my early adulthood there.

You got the cutest little tiny purses.

I got all the purses. There's this
Cartier bag coming down the stairs.

sense. Hello, everybody. Good morning,
afternoon, or evening.

I'm starting to have the days blending.

Absolutely fabulous.

Oh, you're beautiful. To give you guys a
little bit of...

I like that.

Hi. Black, black, black, and black. We
all got kind of the same look on. With

pink. And pink.

And we didn't even talk.

How do you like it? It's like when girls
get their periods together, isn't it?

That ship itself.

And Brandi forgot her pants again. Got
11 entrants.

Oh, my God.

I can't.

Here's the famous red line in.

There's the ladies.

Very old.

Us or the household.

Isn't it cute?

Darling. Good evening, ladies. Welcome
to Red Lion Inn.

Nice to see you. Oh, we're going to sit?
I've got a nice place right here. I

love it. Drinks while we're waiting for
your dinner.

Are we eating inside or outside?

We're eating inside. We're preparing a
table while we're serving some drinks.

Hello. Hello, ladies.

I'm going to tell you something. Fall is
coming.

Fall is coming.

Can you feel it?

We have some cocktail lists for you.

Why, thank you. Well, I know what I'm
going to have.

Thank you. So I don't need a cocktail
list.

I'm going to do a glass of red wine.

I'm good.

I'm going to have a dirty martini
straight up while shaking.

What's a New England traditional dinner?

Everybody, I'll do my thing tonight.
Give it to me. Welcome, everyone. Hi,

are you? My name is Dorinda, and I will
be your server tonight. Where are you

from? Los Angeles. Los Angeles. Oh, my
God. We're so excited to have you in the

Berkshires here today. We have a New
England clam chowder tonight for our

special fantastic made with a heavy
cream. Okay. So I don't know if you're

lactose intolerant or something.

I am.

Thank you for coming. We're so happy to
have you here.

Thank you. Thank you.

I am so not surprised that Dorinda was a
worker like I was. I worked at 14. I

think that all of us probably have
because there's a reason why we are.

I got fired from almost every job I had
as a teenager.

I was not a server, because, yeah, I
definitely can't take orders.

Is the blue cheese dressing still
homemade?

There is no blue cheese dressing.

What? What?

Dorenda, you have to redo your entire
intro.

I love you, Dorenda. I'm sorry, your
facts aren't facts anymore, because that

was a long time ago. Like, a long time
ago.

Dirty goose, well shaken.

Thank you.

Oh, Vicki, I have a question.

Just thinking about it, remember the
rumors when I watched the show, it was

you had a threesome with someone or
something?

Brandy's delivery is not always
appropriate.

It is no Uber Eats, honey.

Oh, no, I didn't have a threesome.

It was my sister and Lori Waring. We
shared a room in New Orleans.

Wow, that's tough. Right, with a sister.

She had a pull -out couch, my sister and
I, and Lori went off.

Off the rails trying to think that I
was... With your sister?

It was so bizarre.

Go around spreading rumors. I have never
been with multiple girls in my life!

She was so thirsty.

I'm like, wait a minute, because this is
not the Vicky I met.

Hey, to each their own.

Vicky tries to put off the theory that
she's a prude, but she's not a prude.

she ever talks about is sex.

all the time. I would not be into a
threesome.

Too much competition.

I'm a lot by myself.

It only takes two to tango. We need no
extra ingredients.

Definitely not into threesome. I can
barely do threesome. Please.

Our table's ready. Yay!

Let's go.

This meeting is adjourned. We're moving
to the dining room. People come from far

and near to see it.

I'm like a tour guide, aren't I? You
are.

I just love that you used to work here.
What?

The building was built in 1773.

1773. Wow.

This is so cool.

It's very old.

Everything's old.

Like, everything's old.

It feels like death.

Where do you have to go to whoop it up
around here at?

That's all I want to know.

We're on the map.

Who do you...

It's still wiggling. What am I supposed
to do?

It's gorgeous.

I love it. Don't take it offensively. I
was just saying, how do you set the

meter this way?

Which way are we setting the meter,
Vicki?

Where are we now on the dial?

I just want to whoop it up. Where do you
have to go to whoop it up around here?

Let me turn it up!

Turn it up! If I have to lead the fun
bus, like, literally, I'm the driver.

Get in.

Let's go have fun. I thought they were
all fun.

Where's the fun?

I might need a little help because I
don't know exactly what everyone was

drinking. A dirty martini. I have two of
those.

Well, I've got a really good question. I
was thinking about it a bit today

because we're all here. We're all
obviously reality stars, ex -reality

whatever. What is the thing that
disappointed you the most so you came

like, what?

I mean, did you guys have that? Because
I had that. What was yours?

For me to be put on pause, I was like,
what?

But, you know, you listen. What did they
tell you? I said to Andy at the time,

if it's not going to change the outcome,
I don't want to hear why. Because I'm

not interested. Because I know my work.
And I know my dedication. I think you

guys see my dedication here. Like, I'm
in it.

I'm exhausted.

I can't take a nap for an hour. I'd love
to take a nap.

I mean, really? Everybody who watches
Roni knows that Dorinda is notoriously

taking a nap or she's going to be cranky
for the night. I am not a napper. I'm

tired. Whether it's the time change,
whether it's a recovery of COVID. And by

the way, Dorinda, who else took a nap
the other day? You did.

Okay, I need to go take a sleep.

Yep. I should probably go check, but I
want to take a nap.

It's a different kind of nap. My nap is
for refueling. Her nap is for avoiding.

I'll sleep when you guys leave on
Saturday.

We're leaving on Saturday? I thought we
were leaving on Thursday.

Vicki, do you want to be here? I think
eight days is a long time.

Well, then why'd you sign up for it?

Vicki, do you want to be here?

I think eight days is a long time.

Well, then why'd you sign up for it?

Because I did.

But if that's it, you can't say eight
days is a long time. If it's too much

you, why'd you sign up for it? Someone's
got to support me here. Listen, to say,

like, the countdown or this many days,
like... I'm excited to see my grandsons

on Saturday. I'm super excited about
that. Friday night, actually. But we're

the moment.

No, no, no, I'm good. I'm not typically
used to eight days with a bunch of

women. Since you've been here, Vicki,
you just seem a little bit, like,

depressed. I'm doing my best.

I'm not in a happy place. And stop being
the victim.

Not be a victim. You're a victim.

No, I'm not a victim. It's always not.
This is not you.

I'm a putt.

The first thing you say when you come to
my house is, I'm in a bad place.

We don't want to hear it. Then the next
day, another thing.

Then the next day, it's urgent care. You
went to urgent care to get a steroid

shot. You didn't have a gunshot wound,
okay?

Honestly,

after the steroid shot, it has been
good.

Who has steroids?

You took your nap. Now tonight you need
to have fun. I've never slept before in

the middle of the day. Yeah. I just hit
the wall. It couldn't function. I just

feel like you're a little bit, like,
slow to warm up. Yeah.

We need to be present. We need to know
you. Don't talk to me that way. Okay.

She's right.

The way Dorinda describes her
frustration is a little bit more

considering she's hosting all of us
ladies in her home.

And so to see someone not wanting or
giving it an effort, it gets a little

frustrating. No, no go home complaints.
We just want you to turn it up.

In defense of Vicky, is she whooping it
up? No, but she is.

Woo wooing a little bit. Just a little
woo woo. Not a woo, but a little woo woo

woo woo.

I think there's progression here.

I want to hear about what happened
between you and Jill.

We were all told she works in the
morning. You knew she did. She told you

several times. I was told, leave her
alone. She's doing a job. Kind of

her. And you kept on it. And on it. So I
did say. Kept on it and on it? After a

beautiful night.

Down to the woman I brought from Queens
to strip for us.

Like down to everything.

The most beautiful night.

However. This is about something bigger.
So that's why. What's it about? When

you came with Lou to film with me.

I was told by my producer, you have to
do this thing with Ramona. I'm working,

Jill. You remember working, right? Eight
years ago. You remember working, right?

Don't try to put me in my place.

The producers had to finish with Ramona.

I think that you were drinking a lot
that night as you fought with Ramona. Do

you think it's nice when you have a good
girlfriend? I just got here. And when

they don't like something, they say
right away, are you drunk?

Wow. I miss you girls.

You know what the strange thing is?
There was no tequila. I didn't drink at

I saw you with my own eyes. What are you
talking about? I didn't drink at all

that night. Watch the episode.

Yeah, you... Okay, here we go. Episode.

Taste some alligator.

That does not taste like chicken. Not
the chicken that I buy. No.

I'm going to get another one. Those are
not organic chickens.

And let me tell you something.

I was on a show that you're no longer
on.

And I have a job to do. And maybe
there's a reason you're not on it

I'm on pause.

Really? I don't think so. Okay.

Who cares? I don't care. I came here
because you invited me.

If you say the word thirsty, have a
drink. Why don't you have a drink with

word thirsty?

Don't call me thirsty, honey. Okay.

I haven't been with Dorinda a lot in the
last couple of years. My only

experience, honestly, is watching her on
television. And she just self

-destructs when she drinks.

I don't know why she does it. But, of
course, I don't know why people drink

because I don't drink.

I have a question.

You know what? You ruined the whole
night for all of us. Yeah, you did

it was beautiful.

We should have turned it up and had fun.

We had a great time.

No, hold on. You were hysterical over
what?

What were you hysterical over? That was
histrionic. Oh, my God. I don't have to

defend myself. That was crazy. And for
you to try to make me feel bad about

feeling bad instead of being a host, you
want to be known as the host of the

most recent time. I'm a host.

Jealous.

Jealous. Jealous.

Okay, I have to say something.

All right, so you came into Phaedra's
room and dropped a bomb about Bobby's

funeral. And left Bobby's funeral?

I said I was there the day after, and
you were talking about Gary. Is that not

true?

Whether it's true or not, I don't think
it was a nice thing to say. No, but you

were. You said, he's a friend of mine,
and I know it's difficult.

Live by your truth, Jill. But you guys
both said some shit.

I didn't talk to you on the day of your
funeral. We were filming.

Because you made us film that day. Poppy
loved you. I know, I know, I know, I

know. I'm alone now. I don't want to do
that. We're all alone. I don't want to

do that. What am I going to do?

I didn't know there was anybody there.
Cameras were there, honey. Didn't know

that. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't
do that. You called them.

You have to get rid of them.

Please just own it. Our camera's there
if Jill didn't authorize it. What is the

truth? I've never known there to be a
camera at a funeral. I kind of want to

know a little bit more.

that I kind of don't want to know a
little bit more.

The cameras are there. You talked to
Bethany about it. I didn't know she was

Mike, and that's the truth.

Bethany called me and said, Jill wants
me to film.

Oh, my God, you're making shit up as you
go along. I mean, really.

Why don't you call her right now and ask
her? I would never do that. Then call a

producer. Call Andy Cohen.

What I thought was really bizarre, you
told the production crew you wanted to

film it. Actually, we were invited.

By Jill. We wanted to cover the funeral.

I don't want to be filmed at Bobby's
funeral. I find it morbid. We have

that say that you, from your assistant.

I'd love to see them and he's not my
assistant.

That Jill would like to invite Bravo
into the funeral. But do you have them

me? From my email address?

No, they're from your old assistant.

Don't you think it's odd that I wasn't
CC'd on it?

Never in a million years would I invite
Bravo into the funeral.

Never. Outside, sure.

Inside, never.

If you don't believe me, you don't
believe me. I don't know what to tell

you know what, you guys? You guys, you
both lost your husbands.

No, it has nothing to do with my father.
No, no, no. It does.

This is about the show.

Dorinda, I don't want to fight with you.
We know each other too long. I don't

want to fight with you either. And I
disrespected you in your house. It

I'm a guest in your house.

No, it happened a couple times. I'm a
guest in your house. No, no, no. And I

know better. And I am sorry.

I hate fighting with someone who's drank
too much. So I'll apologize.

I'll get naked.

I'll spin around like a top. I will do
anything to end this so I can have a

time. You guys ready for a threesome?
For sure.

Oh, Jesus.

It's just not going to happen.

Brandy, I want to clear one thing up.
Okay. Oh, shit.

Something happened in season two of
Beverly Hills. Oh, my God. Wait, that

like nine years ago? Yeah, it was your
very first year.

Do you regret the fact that you outed
that Adrienne used the surrogate when

wasn't prepared to tell her children
that? Let's go live 24 -7. I didn't say

anything to you guys so that you'd start
an argument. I just, like, you should

know that these are the kind of things
you're saying because...

And who knows what else she'd say. That,
to me, is unforgivable.

That was not Brandy's place, as it so
often is not Brandy's place to say

about other people that have nothing to
do with her. Did you feel as though that

was your job to tell the whole?

No, I'm not finished. To tell the whole
world that a mother, that a mother. Get

it together.

No, I'm not finished. Watch your
fingers.

No, I'm not finished. Watch your
fingers.

I'm sorry, Taylor. What Brandy did with
Adrian is none of your business.

It's something that I'm not going to let
go of because she hurt a family, and it

had nothing to do with her. You chose to
out a mother about the way she chose to

give birth to her children when she
hadn't had a chance to tell her own

children? Did you know you were out of
nurse?

Yes, she knew. Everyone in Beverly Hills
knew. I did not. The world didn't know.

The world did not know, and I've been in
mommy. Don't raise your voice. Please

don't raise your voice. It's okay.

Taylor's drinking too much.

Taylor can't hold her liquor.

And bringing up this Adrienne again.

She weaponized secrets of people in
Beverly Hills that weren't even told to

One of my friends, her children were
birthed by a surrogate, and I never knew

it. And they found out about it on the
show.

This one found out about it, and she
viewed it. She'll find stuff out about

other people and weaponize it, and she
doesn't give a shit who's hurt in the

interim. I think whatever happened in
their past TV shows and their past life

with these women, it's in the past.

I could go back and forth with Tamara
all day long about crap she did to me

crap I did to her. For what?

And you decided it was right for you to
tell the world how she gave birth to

her? I think if you're going to be on a
reality show, and I think you know this

better than anyone, you're sharing a lot
of shit. Her and I are very close now,

so this is not anything mean.

Adrian and I are cool. We text. We see
each other. Like, we've been fine for so

long.

Taylor, who, honestly, at this point?

I forgot she was there, and I feel like
she's just coming after me to have a TV

moment. My frustration with Brandi is
years of pent -up anger.

This is going to be said one way or
another.

Now, throw a martini on it, it's going
to happen more quickly, but she's going

to hear how I feel about this.

In season one, when all the classy
ladies were there, we all agreed to...

no, no, I'm not finished.

I'm not finished.

You came on through the f***ing pot.
Everybody knows that. You're just a

cinnamon stick in an actually successful
pot of water.

What the f*** is a cinnamon stick in
a... What? What is an unsuccessful pot

water? Let's just start there. Is it not
alkaline? Is it fat? What happened was

you jumped in the water on top of a
building which the successful six of us

trying to protect each other.

Oh, if I jump across this table, it will
not be cute. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh,

if I jump across this table, it will not
be cute. No, no, no, no, no, no. I got

a heavy boot on. You sit down. Taylor,
Taylor, Taylor.

No, I'm not finished. I have a lot of
unresolved issues with Brandi. I'm not

just going to let her try to sweet talk
me one time and put it all behind me.

There's a lot more that needs to be
said.

Ask everybody else how many critics
choice the words they've won. I'm sorry

what? Reality television, we're the only
one that ever won one.

What did you just say?

This is just silly and petty.

Oh my God, you're just like Jill and
Dorinda.

Jill and Dorinda?

You back that shit up right now. You
guys are obsessed with how popular

is. You are. You go on every fucking
show that you can possibly be on.

You show up whenever you can as a one
-night stand, so don't do that to me.

Don't do that, Tornado. You guys are
like, I'm more popular than you are.

My point is that you made fun of the
fact that the original Beverly Hills

housewives weren't good. That was not
me.

Successful. Were you successful?

Wow.

Brandi just went way too low. Now she's
just throwing.

That is the most disgusting thing to
say.

She's weaponizing death.

Anyone throwing a rock at Brandi should
expect five bullets to come back.

You guys don't play how I play.

I need a second. Y 'all are like, what
the fuck?

I can't even be around that. It's so
disgusting.

And I get it. Like, some people's
tactics in life are, you hit me, I'm

hit you harder. But you can't respond in
that way. It doesn't matter how mad you

are. Take it back.

No. Take it back.

You just said that?

Yes, I did. Why'd you say it? Because
you said it to me.

That's what you're going to go to?

But that's a little low. Because guess
what? Death ain't playing. No, that's

low. She's coming after me. It doesn't
matter. You're going to. About your own

actions. I'm not coming after you after
what you. You said that you were so

successful. No, shut the fuck up, okay?

Listen for a minute, Brandy. For once,
you listen to your own words. Shut the

fuck up. That's how it makes people
feel. You listen to me. Okay, I'm going

walk away because I'm about to get...
Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm trying to help

you. I'm trying to help you. This is not
helping.

Well, if you would listen, maybe it
would help you. No, it's not helping.

When you stop attacking people, it
matters.

Stop it.

Listen, Brandy is a low blow girl. Just
don't go there with her. Why are you

bringing up old... If it was something
that just happened, I get it. But this

stuff is so old.

You got to let it go. I'm sorry. You're
coming at me with fingers in the face.

I'm going to say what I'm going to say.

I know, and I love that about you.

Randy's actually showing a little
restraint because she is leaving the

rather than beating up on Taylor like
I'm sure she wants to.

Literally, she said, I was talking about
them, and I've never done that. Because

I'm friends with Kyle. I'm friends with
Kim. I'm friends with Rinna. I'm not

like, are you joking?

I've never said a bad word about the
girls.

At all. And it's not a fight to have.
It's ten years ago. I'm sorry I went

but she said we were successful.

I know. She was trying to make I'm
better than you. I'm better than you.

didn't like that. Has she ever
apologized? She said she's friends with

Did she ever apologize?

I mean, is that a beef between them two
or you two?

I don't know, but it speaks volumes to
me about her character.

It wasn't right of what I did. That's
what she asked you. Would you take it

if you could?

No.

You don't regret it? Nope. Yes, it was
over the top, but I'm sick of being the

bad guy for people that have no problem
with me, really.

Why is it so important to Taylor? That's
what I'm trying to figure out. I don't

have the capability to be so angry with
someone that I would go after their

child.

Well, there's no excuse for going after
somebody's child.

No. But she said they're friends now. I
find that hard to believe. I mean, it

has been a long time, but Brandy has not
matured much.

Can I have a sip?

You don't need any wine.

Listen. You're literally not even
drinking wine.

I don't do dark negative shit.

I just have to tune it out because we
are some wealthy women sitting around

arguing about...

Somebody told somebody a secret about
somebody.

I mean, this is foolishness.

This is, hands down, the craziest
dinner.

And the hardest chairs, because these
little wood chairs are awful.

All this cushion I have in my butt can't
even make this chair soft.

Let's eat some pie, honey. Yes. I like
dessert. Let's eat some pie.

Any more hands on my face, though? I
don't know what I'm going to do. Yeah,

like, keep your hands in your pants.

Exactly. Well, bring it up again. Yeah,
10 years later.

Well, I mean, it's in college.

Because I think it speaks anthologies
about who she is. No, it doesn't. Who

was. 15 years ago. People change.

She did that like 10 years ago. People
change. I'm not the same person. She's

not apologizing for it.

Well, she said she's friends with
Adrian, so maybe she did apologize to

it doesn't affect you.

Don't ever say that about her husband.

You should never go there. You should be
gracious, kind, and blissful. Don't

ever do that, Brandi. I love you so
much.

That's really mean. It's so dark.

How about if your son died?

Whoa! We don't go there.

Dorinda, what the hell?

Come on. Come on. You're a mom.

How about if that happens?

We don't talk about kids and death.
Nope, nope, nope. You don't talk about

somebody's child and death, and you
don't even put that out there. Well,

no excuse for going after somebody's
child.

No. It's just off -limits.

Bad karma. Don't say that. Don't say
that. Don't say that. We were saying,

kids and death.

What are you doing, Dorinda? This isn't
your fight.

And how f***ing dare you?

What she said was wrong. I completely
agree. And I think she owed you an

apology. Can you talk about my children?

No, I would never.

You just did.

You bring it up. Let it go.

My husband died.

Death is terrible.

You can't compare children. Let her walk
away. I'm sorry about that.

I'm going to meet you ladies in the
front of the restaurant. Are you f***ing

kidding me?

Give me vodka now.

You got it.

You know what's going on here doing this
drinking. I know that.

It isn't okay.

And that's what happens when people
drink.

That's what happens when people let the
alcohol drink.

Thank you for not going after her.

Because two wrongs don't make a right.

Oh, my God, we just can't do that. Two
wrongs don't make a right.

You just go try to beat her up. That
lady could be your mama. You can't do

No, she's only five years older than me.
For real?

Listen, you make a mockery of people
dying?

Bitch, get out of my face right now. No,
no, no. I'm saying it right now because

you referenced my fucking child.

I literally will not fuck with you. You
don't want this.

I really feel sorry for Dorinda because
I think that she's out of control on all

levels. You just gotta chill.

with the wrong bitch.

I was about to fuck that bitch up.

What is that?

This is some crazy shit at Dorinda's old
work job. She's not getting a job back

here again, that's for sure. She'll
never get hired.

Hey guys, can we go home? The four of
us, we got a car.

Okay, let's go back and whoop it. Come
on.

It's not whoop it, it's whoop it up.

Whoop it up.

Absolutely.

God, can we just have one good night?

This is less like the Berkshires and
more like the

Get home and go to bed.

We're not going to bed. We're going to
whoop it up.

Oh, we're going to whoop it up. Oh,
we're going to whoop it.