Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's episode, here's Chris.

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

is brought to you by Your Gas Company,

with pipeline companies and gas appliance and equipment

manufacturers.

For dependable comfort and modern convenience,

gas makes the big difference.

Cost less too.

- Hey, Jack. - Hi, Rick.

Hi, have you seen Wally?

I'm supposed to meet him here.

Hey just walked in.

Oh, thanks.

Hi, I got your message. What do you want?

Is Chris with you?

Oh, you didn't tell me to bring her.

I know that. But she's not here, is she?

- I haven't seen her. - Have you searched the booths?

She's not here. Now what's the big mystery?

Don't get excited.

I'm only trying to protect you, you know.

After all, if you're going to have

a rendezvous with an old girlfriend,

you can't be too careful.

Old girlfriend?

What are you talking about?

- Do you remember Sue Bailey? - Yeah.

I used to go out with her in high school.

Well, I ran into her the other day

and she said she wanted to see you about something.

She wants to see me?

Here she is.

Hi, Sue. Hi.

Hi, Rick. Hi, Sue.

How are you? Just fine, thanks.

How are you? I'm fine.

Come on, sit down. Thanks.

Are you sure this is all right?

Relax, will you?

Well, I see Wally hasn't changed.

Well, what's the big mystery?

Well, actually it's no big deal.

I just happened to run across this old painting

you did and I thought you'd might like to have it back.

Hey, what's this?

Well, that's not very flattering.

Don't you remember painting that for me?

That's right. I did paint this, didn't I?

Hey, actually that's not too bad.

It's our private picnic grounds,

or at least that's what we called it.

Yeah we kind of discovered it one day

when we were taking a hike.

That sounds very romantic.

Oh, sorry.

Well, anyway, I've always loved the painting.

But I thought maybe I'd better bring it back,

especially since Charlie gets a little jealous.

Charlie?

Charlie Watson.

I don't think you know him.

We're getting married in June.

Oh, I hope you'll be very happy.

- Hey, that's great. - Thank you.

Anyway, I just didn't know what to do with the painting.

I certainly didn't want to throw it away.

I'm glad you didn't.

Of course I know you're married.

Well, I didn't know whether you'd want it around either.

Well, there's nothing to worry about.

Chris isn't exactly the jealous type.

Oh good, I'm glad I brought it by then.

Yeah, so am I. Can I buy you a malt or something?

Oh, no, thanks.

I've really got to be going.

Sure it's been nice talking to you again, Rick.

Yeah, same here.

Thanks for bringing the painting.

Oh sure. Bye, bye.

Bye, Wally. Bye, Sue.

I think it's a beautiful painting, Rick.

- Thanks. - Yeah.

I like paintings like this where you can see what's going on.

I'm just beginning to wonder what I'm going to do with it.

Who'd you say you painted it for?

Sue Bailey.

But that was a long time ago.

Well, yeah, but I can see where it might

present kind of a problem.

Yeah, that's what Wally was saying.

But Chris just isn't the jealous type.

We've always been perfectly honest with each other.

Well, it isn't a question of being honest.

It's just that women have a strange way

of looking at things like this.

Now what do you mean by that?

Well, for instance, suppose we had

been married for just a short while

and I brought home a painting that I'd done for,

oh say, Cynthia Hornsby, for instance.

Cynthia Hornsby.

Yeah.

You've heard me mention her.

Well, yeah.

I was just wondering why you thought of her.

Oh, no special reason.

It was just a girl I went out with a couple of times.

A couple of times.

I thought you said you only went out with her once.

Well, you see what I mean?

I'm in trouble with your mother and I can't even paint.

You got something there.

Maybe he has at that.

Sure, if you take this home and hang it on the wall,

every time Chris walks by it, she'll

look up and think of you and Cynthia.

- Sue. - Oh, Sue.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You're right.

I think I'll just leave it here.

You know, I'm not so sure I want it in the house now.

I was just kidding.

I'm just trying to explain what I meant to Rick.

I don't know what made me think of Cynthia Hornsby.

I could have mentioned Betty Cooper, or Patti King,

or Sally Wilson.

OK, Rick.

You can leave the picture on one condition-- you

take your father home with you.

Chris, I'm home.

Hi, yourself.

I'm not home.

I'm returning a pressure cooker to your Mom's.

Love, me.

Mom's?

Oh no.

Hello?

- Pop, is Chris there? - No.

Why? Is she supposed to be?

Well, she left a note saying she was on her way over.

Get the picture out of sight, will you?

Oh well, don't worry about it.

I think Mom hid it someplace.

Oh, Chris just drove up.

Oh, I'll talk to you later.

OK.

Harriet.

Harriet.

Yeah.

Where's the painting? Chris just drove up.

Oh, it's all right. I put it in the hall closet.

Well, she's about to put her coat in there.

I better take it upstairs.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Hi, Chris. Hi, Mom.

- Come on in. - Thank you.

I just stopped by to return this.

Oh, you didn't have to do that.

Well, I thought I might as well since I wanted

to borrow something else. Oh.

What can I do for you?

Well, I wanted to match a screen thread

and I remembered you had some.

Yeah, I think I do upstairs in my sewing basket.

Oh good. I'll get it.

Oh, I'll get it.

Oh, that's OK.

I think it's in the bedroom, Chris.

Where is it?

Um, in the closet.

Oh.

There's a man in there.

It's not a man, it's me.

Oh, it's nothing.

What do you mean, it's nothing?

It's a painting you did, isn't it?

No, no, I didn't do it.

Gee, this is really good.

It says Rick on it.

He did it?

Well, quite a while ago.

It's really great.

How come he never showed it to me?

Well, uh--

Gee, Bob, how come you let her have it?

Well, we couldn't help it.

She insisted on taking it.

And it seemed a little ridiculous to try and stop her.

Oh boy.

Well, it's not as bad as all that.

Just play it by ear.

It'll work out fine.

I hope so.

Thanks, Bob.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

I ought to be mad at you.

Well, how come?

For not telling me.

For not telling you what?

About the painting.

What about the painting?

It's beautiful.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, where'd you get the frame? I bought it.

Don't you think it looks great?

Oh, yeah.

But how come you had it framed?

So we could hang it on the wall.

We'll put it right here.

I'll take this down.

And it'll look beautiful.

Well, get the hammer and the nails.

OK.

I don't think it looks very good in here.

Oh, of course it does.

The colors are perfect.

And it's a very restful painting.

What about dinner?

I'm getting kind of hungry.

Hey, wait a second.

I know this tree and the swing.

Well, sure.

The first time we went out together, don't you remember?

It was a Saturday afternoon and we took a drive

and parked the car.

And then walked along by that little brook.

Well, I don't see any brook.

Well, you can't see it.

It's right there behind the trees.

It is the place.

The place we found when we were out hiking.

Oh, yeah.

I guess it is.

I think that's beautiful.

You went up there and painted this just for me.

No, I didn't. Really.

Darn you, Rick.

Sometimes you make me so mad.

You do something nice and romantic like this

and then you won't admit it.

Look, I hate to change the subject,

but really, I'm awfully hungry.

Wait a second.

This says 1958-- seven years ago.

We didn't even meet each other until five years ago.

That's what I was trying to explain.

You big phony, making me believe

you painted this just for me. I didn't say that.

You did. Well, you didn't deny it.

Well, you didn't give me a chance.

Look, I admit I painted this before I even met you.

But after all, it's a painting of a very special place.

A place that means a great deal to us.

Our place.

I think I want about five minutes to decide.

Decide what?

Whether to kiss you or kick you in the shins.

While you're thinking it over, how about getting dinner

started?

I'm sorry.

Oh, that's OK.

You really didn't think I was going to kick you

in the shins, did you?

No, of course not.

It's perfect.

Every time we have dinner here, it'll

be just like having a picnic.

It's very romantic, don't you think?

Oh, yeah sure.

- Rick, Chris, anybody home? - Uh-huh.

Wally, we're in here. We're having dinner.

Grab a plate. Oh, not for dinner.

Why not? We have plenty.

Oh, I didn't realize I'd be dropping in around dinnertime.

Hey, you got it up and in a beautiful new frame.

- Here, have some food, Wally. - Oh, thanks.

It's a very special painting, you know.

Oh, I know all about that.

Boy, I must admit I certainly admire you two.

Go ahead. Help yourself.

No, I mean it. I really admire you.

Everything out in the open.

Boy, if I show Ginger a painting I'd done for an old girlfriend,

she'd probably start throwing these meatballs at me.

Uh oh.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I hate to eat and run,

but I think I better just run.

Good night.

I'll see you tomorrow, Rick.

Now remember, we're just over here

to ask them if they want to go to a movie tonight.

Well, why don't we call them up and ask them?

Because we're both dying to find out what

happened with the painting.

Here's what happened with the painting.

You think we ought to rescue it?

Let's not get our fingerprints on it.

I make a motion we just don't get involved.

Let's go to the movies by ourselves.

I second the motion.

We better make it fast.

Somebody's coming.

Look, will you leave that outside, please?

I painted it and I ought to be able to throw it away

if I want to. I don't care.

I said I liked it and I bought a nice frame for it.

And it's going to stay right here on the wall,

even if you did tell me a big lie about it.

I didn't tell you a big lie about it.

Let's just say you left out a few minor details.

I left them out because they were unimportant.

You left them out because you were

afraid I wasn't grown up enough to accept

the fact you might have gone out with another girl

once or twice.

Look, I don't want any painting

of mine hanging on the wall if it's going to upset you

every time you see it.

Oh, it doesn't upset me.

It doesn't upset me at all.

Let's just leave it there.

OK.

If that's what you want.

Isn't that what you want?

I just want you to be happy.

- I'm happy. - Good.

Then we'll just leave it there.

Do we have a magnifying glass?

What for?

I want to see whose initials are carved on the tree.

Come on, it's just a painting.

OK.

Chris, I'm home.

Hi.

Hi.

What's this?

- It's a footstool. - Oh, I know that.

But where did it come from?

It's been up in my room at my folks' house.

Well, I've never seen it before.

Well, that's because I always hid it whenever you came over.

Well, why?

Did you make it yourself or something?

Oh no, I didn't make it.

It was given to me.

"To my Valentine, with love from Randy."

Who is he?

A boy I used to go out with.

He made that for me at school.

- Oh. - Yeah.

I've always kind of liked it.

And since we were being so adult about the painting,

I thought you wouldn't mind having that around.

Oh, it's OK with me.

Unless you have any objections, of course.

Oh no.

It's very unusual.

You sure it won't bother you now?

No.

Why should it bother me?

This Randy, was he the guy with the red sports car?

Yeah. I think you met him once.

Was he a little short, fat guy with red hair and freckles?

No.

He was tall, kind of slim, and he

had blond hair and blue eyes.

Look, if you don't think it goes with the rest

of the furniture--

No, I think it looks fine.

Of course, I don't know too much about those things.

Well, I better go in and get dinner started.

You want me to help you with anything?

Oh no, that's OK. You just relax.

She shows up with this crazy-looking footstool.

Footstool? What for?

Oh, she claims some old boyfriend made it for her.

It's supposed to make me jealous.

- Well, did it? - Well, it's hard to tell.

It's such a silly looking thing.

I'll tell you this much, it sure looks

ridiculous in our living room.

Well, why don't you throw it out?

That's just what she wants me to do.

That'd give her an excuse to throw out the painting.

Well, that's what you want, isn't it?

Well yeah, but I want her to throw it out

because it makes her jealous, not because I threw out

the footstool she brought in to make me jealous.

Boy, marriage is sure complicated.

She's trying to be such a martyr about all this.

It's too bad you can't hire a burglar

to break into your house and solve the whole problem.

Hey, wait a minute.

That might not be such a bad idea.

A burglar breaks in and steals the footstool.

Are you kidding?

In the first place, where are you going to find a burglar?

Look, why don't I treat you to that malt,

and maybe another one just like it.

Oh no, you don't.

I'm paying for my own malt, or at least I'm charging it.

Come on, what kind of a friend are you anyway?

Are you kidding? I'm no burglar.

A guy could get arrested for that.

You wouldn't be a burglar.

You'd just be a good friend doing a favor.

You mean like Robin Hood?

Right.

No I'm a little too Friar Tuck-ish to be crawling

in through windows.

You won't have to crawl into any windows.

I could leave the back door unlocked.

Then about midnight, you could just walk in quietly,

grab the loot, and slam the door on the way out.

Slam the door? Are you kidding?

If I'm going to be a burglar, I'm going to be a good one.

I need you to slam the door.

That way Chris and I can wake up, come rushing out,

but we're too late.

Well, you make it sound awful easy.

Believe me, it will be.

Well, OK.

But I want this understood, I'm doing this as a favor

to a friend, and not because you're paying my check.

I may be a burglar but I don't accept bribes.

- OK. - Oh no.

You can still pay my check, but only as a friend.

- You sure now? - Oh, I insist.

- What's that? - What's the matter?

- There's somebody out there. - Relax, will you?

You must be dreaming. Go back to sleep.

I tell you.

I heard somebody.

There is somebody out there, I tell you.

It's a burglar.

Might as well go see what it is.

No, no. Don't go out there.

Just make a noise and frighten them away.

We hear you out there and we've got a gun.

You're not leaving me in here alone.

Yeah, it was a burglar, all right.

He stole the footstool.

No, he didn't.

Oh, great.

Sh.

There's somebody in the closet.

Well, I didn't hear anything.

We hear you in the closet there.

Don't shoot, don't shoot.

Hey, folks. Good evening.

You're supposed to take the footstool, not

the painting. I couldn't find it.

What are you doing here in the middle of the night?

Well, I might as well admit it.

From the moment I saw this painting,

I said to myself, Wally Plumstead,

you just got to have this beautiful landscape.

So here I stand before you, a common thief,

a victim of my lust for artistic treasures,

for things of beauty.

Why didn't you tell us?

We would have given it to you, gladly.

- Oh, you really mean that? - Well, sure.

Yeah. Take it with you tonight.

Oh. Thank you.

Oh. There's just one thing though.

If you should happen to get tired of it

a couple of years from now, or in a couple of weeks,

or even say tomorrow, would you mind taking it over

to my mother's house?

I think she'd like to keep it up in the attic in an old trunk

or something. Is that OK?

Oh, sure.

Or behind some old screens or in an old barrel.

Whatever you say.

Oh, and while we're on the subject.

I couldn't help but notice that you were admiring

that beautiful footstool.

Would you like to have that too?

Oh, may I?

But of course.

Oh, well, thank you.

No, no, no.

Oh, say, this is a little beauty.

By the way, if you'd ever get tired of it,

would you mind giving it to my Aunt Sally?

My uncle gave it to her for Valentine's Day.

It was sort of a gag, but I promised

I'd give it back to her.

OK.

Oh well, I better be going.

Thanks for everything. That's OK.

Thank you. Don't bother to see me out.

You just go on back to bed.

I'll lock up and turn out the lights.

OK. Good night.

Thanks again.

Good night.

Why didn't you tell me you were upset about the footstool?

Well, you made believe the painting didn't bother you.

I figured I could be just as stubborn as you.

Does the footstool really belong to your Aunt Sally?

Of course.

Well, what about Randy, the guy with the red sports car?

I made him up.

I was just kidding you.

And you never went out with a tall, blond-haired guy?

I never went out with anybody until I met you.

And you were the first boy I ever kissed.

You don't smoke and you don't drink.

You don't have any faults at all, do you?

Except one.

I don't always tell the truth.

It's an old joke. You know that, don't you?

Yeah.

But don't you think it was clever the way I worked it

into the conversation?

Wasn't this a good show?

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by Your Gas Company.

For dependable comfort and modern convenience,

gas makes the big difference, costs less too.

Ask us Nelsons.