Original subtitles

And we got it.

Hi.

Our story tonight is about a trunk, a locked trunk bought

at an auction, contents unknown.

You know, you don't know what's in it until you get it home.

It could be a--

or it could be--

well, you'll find out.

We hope you like the story.

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Rick.

Here they are, America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

is brought to you by Your Gas Company,

with pipeline companies, and gas appliance,

and equipment manufacturers who help you

and your family live modern for less with gas.

That's what we do at our house.

What's going on?

Ozzie's planning a trip to the New York World's Fair.

You know, one of the most eye-opening things about

the fair is the way it dramatizes what modern gas can

do.

Gas air conditions nearly 80% of the fair

and heats over 90% of it.

The General Motors Futurama, the Ford Pavilion Bell Telephone--

these are just a few of the spectacular pavilions heated

and cooled by gas.

We Nelsons chose gas heating and cooling for the same reasons.

Gas is more dependable and more economical.

All the fine restaurants at the fair use gas.

They like gas for its speed and control.

So do I. And it's so clean.

I can see us there now.

What a dinner we'll have at Festival 65,

the gas pavilion restaurant.

Hey, wake up.

Fine thing.

I was just about to taste that steak.

Well, relax.

We're having steak broiled on our own gas range tonight.

Oh, good.

Why don't you and your family live modern for less with gas?

Where do you want me to put this stuff, Harriet?

Oh, right here in the living room.

Just put it down anyplace there.

Ozzie can load it in the station wagon in the morning.

You got a lot more stuff up in the attic

if you want to get it later.

Oh, hey.

What the heck is all this?

Oh some things for the rummage sale.

It's just a lot of old clothes and stuff.

Hey, it's my fishing jacket.

You got three others just like it.

Well, yeah, but this is my lucky jacket.

Don't you remember?

I was wearing this when I caught all those trout up at Mud Lake?

I can believe it.

It looks like you fell in and came up

with them in your pocket.

Hey, Oz, aren't those your golf pants over there?

Harriet, now, these are my golf pants.

When was the last time you wore them?

Oh, well, maybe they'll come back in style.

Aren't you giving away an awful lot of good stuff there?

Yes, and if you want any of it back,

you can go down to the sale tomorrow and buy it back.

And that goes for you too.

I haven't donated anything.

Well, you will as soon as we get home.

I wouldn't mind donating a few old things

if it was for a worthy cause.

You don't think refinishing the dance

floor is a worthy cause?

No.

I second the motion.

The club does.

That's right.

We can't even give a dance on it the way it is now.

Oh, isn't that a shame?

It's a tragedy.

What are we going to do about these bums, Harriet?

Oh, who knows?

I'll tell you what.

Next time you have a dance at the woman's club,

don't invite us.

That'd teach us a lesson.

OK, you guys.

Let's change the subject.

Hey, listen to this, everybody.

This ought to interest you girls.

There's going to be a sale at the Emporium tomorrow.

Oh, really?

Yeah, on outboard motors.

You're kidding.

No, look at it.

Isn't it a beauty?

Hey, it really is.

Here we go again.

The outboard motor push.

That sale's been going on for a week.

Besides, I thought you guys decided you didn't need one.

No, no, no, you girls decided that.

We decided we'd go in on it together.

Yeah we can save a lot of money that way.

Oh, that's just ridiculous.

You'd probably use it about twice a year.

OK, OK.

Maybe we'd better change the subject again.

OK.

Well, let's see.

What have we got here?

"Men, don't be a wallflower.

Learn to do all the latest dance steps."

Uh, never mind.

Hey, here's something-- no, no.

I-- uh, no, I can't do that.

What is it?

Well, there's something I thought

might be of interest to you girls,

but I guess it wouldn't be.

Yes, it would. What is it?

Oh, he's just trying to make us curious.

I know, and he's succeeded.

What is it?

It's a trunk auction.

A what?

Yeah, a trunk auction.

See, the Van Storage companies have these auctions

on old unclaimed trunks.

No kidding. What's in them?

Well, you don't know until you open them.

They're usually filled with a lot of old junk.

Oh, I don't know about that.

I read about this woman that bought an old trunk,

and it was filled with money.

Yeah, with Robert E. Lee's picture on it.

Oh, that's very funny.

Thank you, dear.

I thought it was too.

When is it going to be, this trunk auction?

Tomorrow morning.

Don't tell me you're going to go down there.

No, not necessarily.

I'm just curious.

Hey, it says this woman bought a trunk for $10,

and there was a set of antique silver in it.

You're kidding.

Well, at least we got them off the dance floor.

Yes, but not for long.

Hey, wait a second.

This may be an idea for your Women's Club rummage sale.

You mean, put the stuff in trunks?

Well, not necessarily trunks.

But I'll bet if you put the stuff in boxes

and seal them up, the women would pay twice as much

just to see what was in them.

Hey, Oz, that's a beautiful idea.

If there's one sure way to trap a woman,

it's with her own curiosity.

What else?

Give me the paper.

Time to change the subject again.

Oz?

Oh, hi, Joe. Come on in.

- Is Clara here? - No.

She and Harriet piled all that stuff in the station wagon

and went down to the Women's Club.

Gee, so early?

Yeah, they left about a half an hour ago.

I wonder what the big rush was all about.

I don't know.

Did you get any breakfast this morning?

Yeah, orange juice, toast, coffee, bacon and eggs.

Are you sure?

I fixed it myself.

I thought so.

You know, I bet they went down to that trunk auction.

Why do you say that?

Well, in the first place, the rummage sale

is until this afternoon.

And after we left here last night,

all Clara could talk about was old trunks.

Come to think of it, Harriet was pretty

interested in the idea too.

The only thing, though--

I don't think they'd go down there unless they told us

about it, do you?

Well, they probably thought if we knew about it,

we'd give them a bad time.

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, come to think of it, they did

give us a couple of dirty looks last night

when you talked about women's curiosity.

Well, if they're silly enough to fall

for something like that, they deserve whatever they get.

Oh, that's for sure.

Maybe they'll get their pictures in the paper.

Two local Housewives pay $20 for an old trunk

full of moths and silverfish.

Hey why don't we get down there and surprise them?

Don't you think that would be a dirty trick?

- Yeah. - OK, come on let's go.

Going once, going twice, sold the young lady

in the second row.

Pay the cashier please, item number 11.

May we have item number 12, please?

See them any place?

Maybe we beat them down here.

And here is our next item, ladies and gentlemen--

item number 12, an unclaimed trunk.

You probably dropped that stuff off at the rummage sale

so they'd have enough room in the station wagon for all

the junk they want to buy here.

However, I want to be completely honest with you.

I have absolutely no idea what's inside.

It could be a bunch of old rags, or it

could be a priceless collection of antique jewelry.

He's got a good line.

- What am I bid? - I bid $1.

I have a dollar. I have a dollar.

Do I hear two?

$2, $2. I have $2.

Do I hear 3?

Do I hear 3?

I have $2. $2 is bid.

Do I hear 3? Interesting.

Can you believe this?

People are actually bidding on a battered old trunk.

I have $4.

$4 is bid.

Anybody go 5?

Anybody go 5?

I have $4.

$5, I have $5.

Anybody go 6? I have $5.

$5 is bid.

He probably raised his finger.

Do I hear 6? $6--

I have a bid of $6. Anybody go 7?

- I didn't hear that bid either. - $7.

I have $7. Anybody go 8?

Do I hear 8? Me?

The man who went like that.

$8. The gentleman bids 8.

- You did it again. - No, no.

I just raised my hand.

- Anybody go 9? - $9.

$9.

I have $9 for the trunk.

I have $9. Do I hear 10?

Do I hear 10? $10.

$10. $10 is the bid.

Do I hear 11?

They got up to $10.

Anybody go 11? $11.

Does he know something we don't know?

I was just wondering the same thing myself.

Do I hear 12? Do I hear 12?

Oh, they're beautiful.

Anybody go 12? $12.

Anybody go 12? $12.

$12. I have a bid of $12.

Anybody go 13? What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

Do I have a bid of $13? 13.

14.

- 14. - For god sake's.

I've got as much right to that trunk as you have.

It was my idea to come down here in the first place.

15.

15. Do I hear 16?

It's ridiculous bidding against each other.

Why don't we just split it? Do I hear 16?

- OK, it's a deal. - Do I hear 16?

16. No, no, I just bid.

$17 is the bid.

I haven't a bid for 17. No.

Do I hear 18?

$17 is the bid.

Can't even raise your hand around here.

17, going once, going twice.

Sold to the gentleman for $17.

Pay the cashier, please.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, we

have here item number--

Item number 12.

$1.

$1 by the lady.

Make it 2.

$2 is bid.

Would you mind covering my half?

I'll settle with you later.

You're bidding against me and you

don't have any money with you?

Well, I was going to borrow it from you.

$17, please.

out of 20.

Third and last call.

Sold to the gentleman here for $11.

That's 3 and 18, 19 20.

Would you like that open, sir?

Yes, if you don't mind.

All right, I'll get a key.

Be with you in a sec.

- How much is it worth? - $2.

$2. Thank you.

That's a good start.

Well, it's all ours.

Sure is big enough.

I got $4 bid, $4 bid.

5, make it 5.

I just bought this.

We're in on it together.

Sorry, I don't have a key for this one,

but I can open it with a crowbar.

Uh, look, why don't we take it home just as it is

and open it there? What's the matter?

Don't you think there's anything in it?

Well, there's bound to be something in it.

But I think it'd be more exciting that way.

Well, it's up to you.

It's your trunk.

Yeah, I think we'll take it with us and open it later.

Thank you.

The next lot, item number 16.

What do you give for it? $2.

$2.

Got a good bidder here.

$2 bid.

And we got it.

Well, there sure must be something in it.

Well, you're not kidding.

Well, come on.

Aren't you going to open it up?

Hey, wait a minute.

Maybe one of these old keys would fit.

A crowbar would be a lot faster.

How are we going to explain this to Harriet and Clara?

Are you kidding?

If there's anything good in it, we show it to them and gloat.

Yeah, but suppose there isn't.

Well, then I tell Clara I tried to talk you out of it,

but you blew $17 for a worthless old trunk.

Don't forget, 8.50 of this is yours.

OK, so I owe you 8.50.

Come on, open it up.

Hey, the moment of truth.

There's nothing but a lot of old clothes.

Yeah, well, maybe there's some stuff at the bottom.

This old lace tablecloth.

"Aloha, Mom."

Hey, how about these?

I don't think they're the right size.

Besides, there's no escape hatch in the back.

More clothes.

You know, I'm beginning to think

that woman with the silver candlesticks

must have been a shill.

Here's a picture.

The end of the trail.

Yeah I just how he feels.

Ozzie, are you out there?

- Oh, hi, girls. - Hi.

Hi.

Well, what are you guys up to?

What are you talking about?

Hey, do you see what I see?

I certainly do.

You don't suppose they went the auction and bought this trunk,

do you? Oh, don't be silly, Clara.

A couple of curious women, maybe, but certainly not

our level-headed husbands.

OK, OK, so we bought a trunk.

What makes you so sure there isn't

something valuable in here?

Well, let's have a look and see.

It's locked.

Well, let's get a crowbar and open it.

No, no--

Talk about curiosity.

Just listen to them.

Well, we just want to see what's in there.

I am surprised at you.

Haven't you any romance in your soul?

You know you can't open a treasure

chest in broad daylight in a dirty garage.

Dirty garage?

Well, you know what I mean.

You have to open it at the stroke of midnight,

with champagne and candlelight.

He might have a point there.

Well, obviously they don't want to open it in front of us.

Well, we can't wait around till midnight.

We've got other things to do.

Well, we'll see you later.

So long, suckers.

Yeah, but you'll be sorry when you see what's in this.

What's the matter with you? Are you crazy?

You know what they're going to find in there.

Yeah, an outboard motor.

- A what? - Sure.

Don't you see?

This is our golden opportunity.

We go out and buy the outboard motor we wanted,

stick it in the trunk, and claim it was in there all the time.

- That'll never work. - I know that.

But while they're hooting and hollering,

we've got our outboard motor.

Hello?

Oh, hi.

OK, we'll be over in about 15 minutes.

Bye bye.

That was Barbara.

She has some things she wants us to pick up.

Things for what?

The rummage sale.

Oh, of course.

All I can think about are those two guys sitting out there

on that trunk. I know what you mean.

I sure would love to know what's in it, wouldn't you?

Boy, would I. But let's not admit it to them.

They're just trying to build up our curiosity.

I know it.

Let's not give them the satisfaction.

OK.

Oh, hi, girls.

Still here?

We thought you'd be down at the Women's Club by now.

All right, what's in that trunk?

Nothing doing.

We're not going to open it till midnight, and that's final.

- Well, what's the big mystery. - No mystery.

It's just like Joe says.

It'd be more interesting to wait a while.

Come on. Let's go.

Where are you going?

Oh, we just have a few errands to do.

Well, you are coming down to the rummage sale, aren't you?

- Oh, sure. - We wouldn't miss it.

We'll see you later.

How about those guys?

You can say that again.

Have they gone?

No, not yet.

They're just getting in the car.

Do you think we ought to go out there and see

what's in that trunk?

No.

Oh, Harriet.

Don't be so noble, and honorable, and full

of character.

I'm not being anything.

I'm just waiting for the car to pull out of the driveway.

How are we going to get it open?

Oh, we usually have a crowbar around here someplace.

Well, then they'll know we've broken into it.

Hey, wait a minute.

What are those keys doing on the floor?

I don't know. You want to try them?

Yeah, I sure do.

It's nothing.

It's just a big bunch of nothing.

"Aloha, Mom," isn't that sweet?

Can you imagine how they felt when they opened this?

Do you think they really did open it?

Well, sure.

Why else would the keys be right on the floor?

Well, then what's all that stuff about midnight

and champagne?

Oh, that's just a big stall.

They're trying to put off the embarrassment as long

as possible.

Boy, did they get stuck.

Well, it serves them right.

And they say women are curious.

Hey, you know, maybe Oz is right.

About what?

About this being a good idea for our rummage sale.

Maybe we ought to put some of our stuff in boxes

and auction it off.

Harriet you're a genius.

Well, I don't know about that.

But at least we know the idea works.

We sure do.

We better get on over to the club.

Oh here.

Don't forget this.

Oh, thank you.

"Aloha, Mom."

What are we going to do with the keys?

We're going to leave them right where we found them.

Harriet?

Harriet?

Boy, it sure is a beauty.

It sure is.

Easy does it.

You think it'll fit?

Oh, sure.

We'll get this junk out of there.

What do we do with this stuff?

Well, why don't we hide it over there for now?

Hang on to that pillow though.

Clara's mother has a birthday coming up next month.

Can't you just see the expressions

on the girls' faces when they open the trunk and find that

motor in there?

Yeah, it's going to be pretty funny.

It is going to be funny, don't you think?

Well, of course, it is.

Don't you think so?

Oh, yeah, I guess so.

Well, come on.

Let's get a hamburger, OK?

That's a good idea.

- Hey, Clara, I've got an idea. - About what?

Well, you know the trunk the guys got stuck with.

Why don't we bring it down here and auction it

off just as it is?

Oh, are you sure they won't mind?

Are you kidding?

They'll be delighted.

Well, shall we leave the same stuff in it?

Well, sure. Why not?

I don't know.

I'd like to keep that pillow.

Joe's mother's got a birthday coming up.

Joe?

Joe?

Yeah?

Where were we?

At Rainbow Lake, trying out our new motor.

Oh.

Well, how's it work?

Perfect.

Got to be careful with it though.

I revved up the engine and pulled

one of the pilings right out of the dock.

With a 6 horsepower?

Well, I'm a pretty big dreamer.

Hey, look who's here. Hi.

Hi.

Hi, boys. Sit down.

The hamburgers and the malts are on Mr. Randolph.

- Oh, thanks. - Hey, wait a minute.

How do you figure that?

Well, you've got a charge account here.

I got to figure out some way of getting

my eight and a half bucks back.

I was just kidding, boys.

Have anything you want up to $0.50.

You guys look like you just got to work out.

Boy, we sure did.

I'm glad it wasn't a piano.

What are you talking about?

Oh, I thought you knew about it.

Mom phoned and asked us to pick up

an old trunk from the garage.

From our garage?

Yeah.

Yeah, a big old-fashioned trunk.

With an outboard motor in it?

Gee, I don't know what was in it.

All I know is we hauled it down there

and they're going to auction it off.

Sorry, fellas.

This is an emergency.

Get the check, will you, boys?

Pardon me.

Can you see it?

Yeah, there it is up there on the stage.

Come on. Hurry up.

Gentlemen, have you bought your tickets yet?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we needed tickets.

How much are they? They're $3.

There are just two of us.

Oh, you can have as many as you want.

They're raffle tickets.

Oh, I thought they were admission tickets.

Oh, no. The admission is free.

Oh, good. Come on, Oz.

No, just a second.

Two, please.

Oh, only two?

Oh, uh, $2 worth.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's OK.

You keep them.

Thank you.

Please, ladies, I'm so sorry.

Pardon us, please. $7.

$8.

You know, I still haven't seen anything I'd want to buy.

Oh, well, they save all the good stuff till last.

Hey, look who's here.

Oh, hi.

What's that trunk doing up there?

It has been auctioned off yet, has it?

- No, not yet. - Well, that's our trunk.

What was the idea of bringing it down here?

Well, we thought we were doing a favor.

Well, if you must know, when you guys left,

we took a look inside, and there's nothing in there

but a lot of old junk.

Well, yeah, but that was--

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have

your attention please?

What am I bid for this lovely old brown trunk, contents

unknown? $2.

I hear $2. Do I hear 3?

- $3. - $3.

$4.

$4.

I have $4. $5.

Clara.

I have $5.

I'm just trying to keep the bidding going.

Why should you have all the fun?

5.50.

5.50.

Do I hear 6?

$6.

That's the spirit. $6.

- You're getting brave. - $6.

Harriet, there's an outboard motor in there.

Do I hear 7?

No kidding. $10.

$10.

$11.

$11, $11.

Do I hear 12?

Well, here we are, girls.

Well, I was afraid we weren't going

to get it there for a minute.

I hope the motor wasn't damaged.

What is all this talk about an outboard motor?

We might as well show it to them.

The joke is spoiled now anyway.

I suppose so.

Do you have the key?

It's unlocked.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I unlocked it.

Hey, where's the motor?

What's all this junk?

Well, we had to fill it up with something

when we took the motor out.

You took the motor out?

Well, where is it?

Oh, relax.

It's backstage.

And you let us buy this trunk all over again?

Well, it's one way of getting you to make a contribution

to the Women's Club.

Besides, it's for a worthy cause.

Good old PT Barnum said there's one born every minute.

Yeah, and he was talking about married men.

Look what we found backstage.

What am I bid for this lovely brand-new outboard motor?

Outboard motor?

Hold everything.

Hold it.

I've got $2.

Hold everything.

It's a mistake. $5.

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by Your Gas Company.

Which helps you live modern for less with gas.

That's what we Nelsons do.

The day of a child's first step

is always a memorable occasion.

Most children accomplish it by the time their one or two.

But for the child with cerebral palsy,

it may be five, or six, or even seven years

before that first step is achieved.

The child with cerebral palsy often

depends on the 13 services provided by the United Cerebral

Palsy Association for special training from infancy

to adulthood.

Keep faith with them by making a generous contribution.

Mail your check now to Palsy, care of your local postmaster.