All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S13E18.Ricky.Grows.A.Beard.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-WADU_track3_[eng]

"The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's
episode, here's Kris.

Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is brought to you
by Your Gas Company,

with pipeline companies and
gas appliance and equipment

manufacturers, who help
you and your family

live modern for less with gas.

That's what we
do at our house.

What's going on?

Ozzie's planning a trip to
the New York World's Fair.

You know, one of the most
eye-opening things about

the Fair is the way it
dramatizes what modern gas can

do.

Gas air conditions
nearly 80% of the Fair

and heats over 90% of it.

The General Motors Futurama, the
Ford Pavilion, Bell Telephone,

these are just a few of the
spectacular pavilions heated

and cooled by gas.

We Nelsons chose gas heating and
cooling for the same reasons.

Gas is more dependable
and more economical.

All the fine restaurants
at the Fair use gas.

They like gas for its
speed and control.

So do I. And it's so clean.

Yeah, I can see us there now.

What a dinner we'll
have at Festival 65,

the Gas Pavilion restaurant.

Hey, wake up.

Fine thing.

I was just about to
taste that steak.

Well, relax.

We're having steak broiled
on our own gas range tonight.

Oh, good.

Why don't you and your family
live modern for less with gas?

- Hello.
- Hello, Mom.

It's Kris.

Oh, hi, Kris.

Is Rick there yet?
No.

Is he coming over?
Yeah.

He wants to borrow
some garden tools.

But give him a razor and a
large tube of shaving cream,

will you?
What for?

Well, believe it or not, he
thinks he's growing a beard.

- A what?
- A beard.

At least that's
what he calls it.

How long has he
been growing it?

Since the day
before yesterday.

Well, then, I gather he's not
exactly tripping over it yet.

No.

It's just bristly and
scratchy and icky and awful.

I know, three
nights on a park bench.

Have you told him how
you feel about it?

I wouldn't dare.

He might get stubborn
and never shave it off.

I know just what you mean.

He gets that stubborn streak
from his father's side

of the family.

I don't want to
put you on the spot,

but if you could say
something nasty about it,

I'd sure appreciate it.

Oh, it'll be easy.

I'll talk to you later.

A suspicious-looking
character just

showed up at the back door.

I think he's looking
for a handout.

OK.

Bye-bye, dear.

I gather that was
my wife on the phone.

- That's right.
- How are you, Mom?

How about a little kiss?
Oh, no, thank you.

I think I'll pass this time.

I don't know what
everybody's so excited about.

I ran out of blades
over the weekend

and I decided not to shave.

That's all.

Well, your father has
plenty of blades upstairs.

No, that's OK.

Kris went out and bought a
whole bundle of them for me.

Good.

I take it you're going to use
one as soon as you get home.

No.

Now that I've got a
little start here,

I think I'll see how
I look with a beard.

Well, good luck.

I just came over to borrow
some tools, if you don't mind.

OK.

And help yourself to the hedge
clippers while you're at it.

Thanks.

I'll see you later.
Bye.

Harriet, I'm home.

Hi.

Wait till you see
your younger son.

Uh, my younger son?

OK, what's he done?

He's growing a beard.

Well, I saw him a
couple of days ago

and he didn't have one.

He still doesn't,
but he thinks he does.

He's out in the garage, if
you want to take a look at it.

I'm not so sure.

Well, actually it's
just a stubble right now.

Harriet, see what
you think of this.

Remember that beard I
wore at the Men's Club

Pageant a couple of years ago?
Yeah.

What about it?

Well, I'm sure it's
still up in the attic.

Why don't I go up and put it on.

And when Rick comes in to
surprise me, I'll surprise him.

Well, it might help
to discourage him.

I'll see if I can find it.

How does it look?

- Oh, that's beautiful.
- Thank you.

It will come off, won't it?

I hope so.

Wait till Rick sees this.

Rick!

Well, he drove away.

Why didn't you stop him?

Well, I didn't
realize he was going.

I thought he'd come back in
here before he went home.

I went to all this
trouble for nothing.

Well, that's the way it goes.

Hey, you know something.

I look pretty good.

Never mind that.

Get on upstairs and take it off.

Hey, why don't we
have soup for dinner?

I've always wanted to
know how that worked.

- No, you don't.
- Why not?

It might be funny.

And then, again,
it might not be.

Come on, get out of sight.

Harriet!

Oh, Janet, come on in.

Hi, Harriet.

Am I interrupting anything?
No.

No, not at all.

Oh, I hate to keep
imposing on you.

But is it OK if I borrow
your typewriter again?

I have to do some work for
the Women's Club tonight.

Oh, sure.
I'll get it.

I know right where it is.

Oh, well, you don't want to
cart that big thing all the way

home.

Why don't-- why don't
I do the work for you?

Oh, that's OK.

It's no trouble at all, really.

Yes--

Janet, you've met my husband?

How do you do?

Oh, yes, of course.

You kind of surprised me.

Oh, well, I was just hanging
up some coats in there.

Dear, Janet wants to
borrow the typewriter.

Would you carry it out
to the car for her?

Oh-- oh, of course.

Thank you.

Is your car right out front?

Oh, yes, it is.

I guess maybe I should
explain about the beard.

Yeah, I wish you would.

I think it looks wonderful.

It looks sort of
...

Wow, thank you.

Actually, it's not a real beard.

It's a phony.

It comes off.

Just sort of a joke.

Oh, that's a shame.

I think I'm a
little disappointed.

I must say, I'm not.

Oh, no, no.

Not so fast.

You see, she kind of likes it.

It might look better
than you think.

Well, whatever you say, dear.

Thanks for the
typewriter, Harriet.

Oh, you're welcome, Janet.

I might not come back.

Here you are.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, yeah, that works fine.

When are you going to
take that silly thing off?

- You mean you don't like it?
- Well, it's not that.

It makes me nervous.

I keep expecting my husband
to walk in the door.

Well, that friend
of yours Janet

seemed to think it
looked pretty good.

Oh, go on.

She was just trying to
get somebody to carry out

the typewriter for her.

Now, don't be too sure.

Oh, did I tell you, when
I went out to the car,

that somebody drove by
and took my picture?

Yes, you did, several times.

It was probably some sightseer.

And you certainly are.

Hi, everyone.

- How about some coffee?
- Yeah, sounds good.

Oh, thanks.

Come on in and sit down.

Oh, hi, boys.

Oh, good evening, sir.

- Good evening.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Mom.

I didn't know you had company.

- That's your father.
- You're kidding.

Gee, I always thought that
other guy was your father.

Hey, he is that other guy.

- Pretty neat, huh?
- Yeah.

What's the idea?

Is it Back to Nature
Week or something?

No.

It all started out to
be a little gag on Rick.

Rick?
What's he got to do with it?

Oh, evidently you
haven't seen him.

No, he didn't come
in the office today.

Oh.

Well, he started to grow
a beard over the weekend.

Oh, yeah.

A couple of guys at
school mentioned that.

What's he doing that for?

That's what I want to know.

Well, why does
anybody grow a beard?

It's probably psychological.

Without realizing
it, a guy wants

to attract a little
attention, and this

is a good way of doing it.

So we've noticed,
dear-- or whoever you are.

OK, I can take a hint.

I'll take this off in a minute.

Well, anyway,
we just stopped by

to see if you wanted to go
bowling with us tonight.

Hey, yeah.
That sounds like a good idea.

Is it OK with you Harriet?

Oh, sure, go ahead.

Gee, you sure are a
good sport Mrs. Nelson.

It took me a half an hour
to get away from Ginger,

and we're not even married.

Yeah, I sure wish Rick
had seen this on me.

It would have been
kind of funny.

Didn't he see it?

No.

By the time I had it
pasted on, he was gone.

You don't suppose
he's going to show up

at the office with
a beard, do you?

Probably.

Unless Kris can talk him
into shaving it off tonight.

Well, she wasn't having
much luck the last time

I talked to her.

That's all we need,
a beatnik law clerk.

Hey, why don't you
pull the same gag

your dad tried to pull?
What do you mean?

Well, you could take that
over to the office tomorrow.

And when Rick comes in with
a little stubble on his chin,

you'd be sitting there
with this crazy beard on.

Yeah, that would be
pretty funny at that.

That's just what
I was trying to do.

Hey, wait a second.
Here's an idea.

Why don't I borrow it first?

I always see him at the
malt shop in the morning.

Hey, I like that.

If he sees enough
of you guys wearing

that silly looking thing, he's
liable to get the message.

Oh, now, wait a second.

I don't think this
looks so silly.

Then it's OK if we
borrow it tomorrow, Pop?

Well, yes, unless your
mother wants to wear it

to the Women's Club luncheon.

Oh, thank you, dear.

I think I'll save it
till New Year's Eve.

- Anything else, stranger?
- No, thanks, Jack.

Just the check.
Let's see.

You had a hamburger,
with mustard, relish,

and is that ketchup?

Yeah, ketchup.

I have trouble with my wife.

I can imagine.

Is she still talking to you?

Oh, yeah, she's still talking
and talking and talking.

I know what you mean.

Oh, pardon me, sir.

Did you advertise
for a cello player?

A cello player?

It's me, Wally.

Oh, of course.

I should have recognized
the waistline.

Hey, what's all this with
the beards around here?

Oh, this is just a phony.

It's for a gag I'm
going to play on, Rick.

Is he here?

Yeah, he's right over
there in the second booth.

Oh, good.

- Has Ginger seen it?
- No, not yet.

Then you'd better hide.

She just came in the door.

Oh, that's great.
She'll get a big kick out of it.

Watch this.

I hope you know
what you're doing.

Oh, hi, honey bunch.

You ever kiss a
man with whiskers?

What are you, a
wiseguy or something?

- Come on, honest.
- Wally?

See?
It's me.

Well, what were you doing
with that crazy beard?

It was just a gag.

Well, if you ask me, I
don't think it was very funny.

Well, I was going
to play it on Rick.

Hi, Wally.
Hi, Ginger.

Hi, Rick.

Are you going
over to the library?

Oh, not right now.

- OK, I'll see you later.
- So long, Rick.

Uh, Rick?

Yeah.

Oh, never mind.

I'll see you later.

Now, look what you made me do.

What are you talking about?

Rick didn't see me
with a beard on just

because you had to
come along and butt in.

Me?

Yeah, you're always
showing up at the wrong time.

Oh, I am, am I?

Oh, now, honey,
sweetheart, baby doll.

Don't you, baby
doll me, you masher.

Two chocolate malts, please.

See, I just ordered you a
chocolate malt and it's on me.

Now, honey, watch
your blood pressure.

Oh!

Ow!

Hi.

- Oh, hi, Dave.
- Rick get in yet?

No, not yet.
But Wally came by.

He left something for you.

Oh, good.

Here.

It's all yours.

Did Wally tell you about this?

I mean, about the gag I'm
going to pull on Rick.

Yeah, he said something
about Rick growing a beard.

I can hardly wait to see it.

Me, either.

Of course, I think we can
do without it around here.

Yeah, I'm afraid
I agree with you.

Do you want me to
help you put that on?

No, that's OK.
I can handle it.

Be sure and signal
me when he comes in.

OK.
You'll come out here, won't you?

I don't want to
miss out on the fun.

OK.

And you better wipe that
smile off your face.

This is supposed to
be a dignified office.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Rick.

Anything new?

No, not that I can think of.

Yeah.

Dave, you better
for your appointment.

Appointment?
Oh, yeah.

Thanks.

Anything interesting
happen over the weekend?

No, nothing special.

I like the way
you've done your hair.

Oh, thank you.

Notice anything
different about me?

All right, I saw it.

What do you think?

I think maybe you better hide
before Mr. Crawford gets here.

Mr. Crawford, who is he?

A new client,
and very important.

And it's just possible
he might not approve

of law clerks wearing beards.

What time does
he due over here?

- In about an hour.
- Well, I'll be gone by then.

Tell Dave I'll be right back.
Wait a minute.

Where are you going?

Just downstairs to
get a cup of coffee.

- Rick!
- I'll be right back.

Good afternoon.

My name is Crawford.

I have an appointment
with Mr. Nelson.

Oh.

Oh, yes, Mr. Crawford.

I realize I'm a
little early, but I

wonder if he could see me now.

Well, I'm sure
that'll be fine.

Won't you be seated
for a moment, please.

Yeah.

Ta-dah.

I'm sorry.

This is Mr.
Crawford, Mr. Nelson.

Oh.
How do you do, Mr. Crawford?

How do you do?

Please, excuse the entrance.

It was just kind of a little
office joke on my brother.

Your brother?

Well, he just stepped
out for a moment.

Oh.
Won't you come into my office?

Thank you.

May I compliment
you on your beard?

It's very nice.

Yours looks very nice, too.

Well, thank you.

I noticed quite a
few professional men

are wearing beards these days.

Like I always say, you
show me a man with a beard,

and I'll show you a man with
character and individuality.

You think I ought to tell him?

Are you kidding?

I'll have to wear this
thing every time I see him.

Who knows, you
may get to like it.

Oh, by the way, when Ricky
gets back, tell him he's fired.

Harriet!

What is it?

My picture's in the paper.

It is!

Yeah, practically half a page.

- You sure that's you?
- Well, sure.

Remember I told you somebody
took my picture when

I was putting the
typewriter in Janet's car?

What is it, an
ad or something?

Well, sort of.

See, the Emporium has
this roving photographer,

and he goes around
taking pictures.

And if they use your
picture in the paper,

you get a gift
certificate for $50.

Well, that's wonderful.

Congratulations.

Gee.

Uh-oh.

What's the matter?

I've got to get down there
and claim it by closing time

tonight.

Oh, well, you've
still got time.

In fact, I'll go with you.

They have some beautiful
new lamps down there,

and a tablecloth and
some towels we could use.

Oh, no you don't.

This is my gift certificate.

You go get your own beard
and get your picture taken.

Well, it was worth a try.

Gee, I hope they'll
recognize me without the beard.

Oh, I'm sure they will.

At least I think they will.

That's your nose and
those are your eyes.

You can't see the
nose very well--

shadows there, and the
mustache kind of covers it.

Come to think of it, you
can't see your eyes very well,

either.

Well, I was squinting
on account of the sun.

Believe me, it's me.

I saw the man take my picture.

Oh, I believe you.

I just think it might be a
little easier to convince them

if you wore the
beard down there.

Wore a phony beard
down to the Emporium?

Well, that's ridiculous.

For a $50 gift certificate.

I'll phone David.

Hello.

Dave, it's me.

Oh, hi, Pop.

Look, Dave, I need to
borrow the beard back again.

Oh, what do you need it for?

Well, I won some crazy
contest down at the Emporium.

It's kind of a long
beard-- a long--

Kind of a long story.

But I need the beard
to wear down there.

Oh, gee, I don't have it.

Well, where is it?

Well, I loaned
it back to Wally.

He's wearing it to a
masquerade party tonight.

Oh, no.

Gee, I'm sorry.

It's over at Ginger's
sorority at the Kappa house.

He's probably there by now if
you want to try and reach him.

Oh, no, that's OK, Dave.

Yeah, well, thanks
just the same.

What's the matter?

Well, Wally is wearing
the beard tonight

to some masquerade party.

Oh, that's a shame.

There goes my
gift certificate.

Oh, I wouldn't
give up that easily.

Do you know where the party is?

Oh, yeah, it's at Ginger's
sorority, the Kappa house.

Well, why don't you go over
and borrow it for half an hour?

Oh, I couldn't do that.

Well, OK.

I sure hate to see
you lose a new fishing

reel or a new tackle box or a
new bowling ball or a golf bag.

I'll get right over there.

Or a new lamp or a
tablecloth or some towels.

Good evening, sir.

May I help you?

Yeah, my name is
Nelson, Ozzie Nelson.

Oh, yes, Mr. Nelson.

Well, the chaperones
are in the den.

Oh--

No, I'm not one
of the chaperones.

I want to talk to
one of your guests.

Oh, well, it may
be a little difficult

to find anyone right now.

We're all wearing our masks.

Oh, so I see.

Well, this is Wally Plumstead.

Oh, I know Wally.

Well, he's a little
on the chubby side.

He shouldn't be too
difficult to find.

I know.

I just saw Humpty
Dumpty go by here.

- Well, was he wearing a beard?
- Oh, no.

I don't think so.

Well, Wally is
wearing a beard.

Well, that narrows
it down a little bit.

Why don't you just go
on in and look around?

OK.
Thank you very much.

Wally?
I beg your pardon.

- Are you Wally Plumstead?
- Oh, no, sir.

I'm General Grant.

Oh, I'm sorry, General.

Oh, Wally, I'm
sorry, but I need the beard.

It's a wonderful costume.

The bald head is terrific.

I beg your pardon.

Good evening, Professor.

Professor, I'd like
you to meet Mr. Nelson.

Oh.
Oh, how do you do, Professor?

Mr. Nelson.

Nice to know you.

I was just looking for somebody.

Pardon me, please.

Mr. Nelson.

Oh, Wally, gee, I've been
looking all over for you.

Call me Abe Lincoln.

I don't want anybody
to find out who I am.

Oh.

Look, Mr. Lincoln,
or Abe, if I may,

I wonder if I could borrow your
beard for about a half an hour.

- My beard?
- Yes, could you lend it to me?

Well, gee, I can't do that.

Everybody I'll
find out who I am.

It's really awfully important.

It's worth $50 to me.

$50.

Well, why didn't you say so?
Could you give it to me in cash?

I have a little
trouble cashing checks.

Oh--

Not for you.
For me.

Oh, gee.
I don't know.

Oh, here's a mustache
I'm not using.

Oh, well, thanks, but
I need the whole beard.

Can't you talk him
into it, Ginger?

- I beg your pardon.
- That's not Ginger.

Oh--

Oh!

So there you are, fatso.

I had a hunch that was you.

Why, young lady, there
must be some mistake.

There's been a mistake
all right, and you made it.

Yow!

Talking to somebody else, huh?

Now, sweetie pie, I
can explain everything.

I can explain everything!

You couldn't come with
me because you were home

in bed with a cold.

I said that, Honest Abe?

Pardon me.

May I have the beard, please?

Help yourself.

If you wait a couple of minutes,
you can have the scalp too.

The beard will be fine.

Thank you.

Now, baby doll,
sweetie pie, honey!

Yes, sir.

What can I do for you?

Well, I believe I'm your
lucky winner for today.

Oh, yes, by golly,
I guess you are.

There's no mistaking
that beard of yours.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

If you'll just fill in
your name and address,

I'll get you your certificate.

Hey, Pop.

Dave!

Boy, I'm glad I found you.

I need that beard right away.

What for?

Well, I have to be out at
the airport in 15 minutes.

I have to deliver these
papers to a client.

What's the beard
got to do with it?

Well, this client, Mr.
Crawford, has a beard

and he thinks I have one too.

He saw me with the
beard when I was trying

to pull that gag on Ricky.

Well, gee, I only need this
for a couple of more minutes.

Oh, come on, Pop, please.

I'll just make it if
I leave right now.

Thanks a lot.

See you later.

Excuse me.

Did you see a gentleman standing
here, a man with a beard?

Well, that wasn't a gentleman.

That was me.
You?

Yes.

But the man I was speaking to
a few moments ago had a beard.

Well, yeah.

You see, while you were gone,
I gave the beard to my son.

You gave the
beard to your son?

Yeah, that's right.

See, it wasn't a real beard.

It was a phony one.

And my son was wearing
it this afternoon

when this client came
into his law office.

And the client
himself has a beard.

Oh, I see.

It's a little confusing.

I guess I might as well
begin at the beginning.

See, we were trying to play
this little gag on my other son,

the one who really
does have a beard.

In fact, that's when the
picture was taken, see,

when I was carrying the
typewriter out to Mrs.--

what's her name's-- car.

And when I saw the
picture in the paper,

I had to rush over
to the sorority house

and get the beard back from
this friend of my son's, who was

impersonating Abraham Lincoln.

Yes, I see.

Well, I'm glad you got out
to the airport on time, Dave.

Yeah, the plane was about
five minutes late taking off

or I never would have made it.

I don't know
what you're complaining about.

This is Ginger and
this is the other girl.

And I don't even
remember her name.

I was lucky to get out
of the Emporium alive.

If your mother hadn't come
down there to identify me,

I'd still be there.

Oh, it was a pleasure.

You should see the
beautiful lamp I got.

Oh, yeah.

Well, not to mention that.

All this just
because I thought

it might be fun to
grow a little beard.

Oh, which reminds me.

I suggest we take a family vote.

All those in favor of Rick
shaving off his beard?

OK, I surrender.

My wife doesn't like it.

My mother doesn't like it.

My father doesn't like it.

My brother doesn't like it.

And my best friend
doesn't like it.

And besides, I was going
to shave it off anyway.

It's beginning to itch.

Before you change your mind,
may I suggest you go upstairs

and shave it off right now?

I might want to kiss
you on the way home.

I think I'll take
you up on that.

It's the best offer I've
had in several days.

You know, it does seem
kind of a shame, though.

It's really starting
to look good.

I'll bet you if I gave
it one more week--

Oh, no you don't.

You're darn right he doesn't.

There--

I used to be able
to do this by myself.

Let me off at the barbershop.

Donna,
is there anyone finer

in the state of Carolina?

If there is and you know
her, show her to me.

Donna, with her Dixie eyes
blazing, how I'd love to

sit and gaze in to
the eyes of Donna Lee.

Every night, why do
I shake with fright?

Because my Donna might
change her mind about me.

Donna, if she wandered to China,
I would hop an ocean liner just

to be with Donna Lee.

Donna, if she wandered to China,
I would hop an ocean liner just

to be with Donna Lee.

Donna Lee.

Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you
by your Gas Company.

Which helps you live
modern for less with gas.

That's what we Nelsons do.