Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

Here they are.

America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

- Good morning. - Hi.

Let's see now.

I smell bacon and eggs, dollar sized pancakes,

waffles with melted butter.

Am I close?

How about some orange juice and toast?

Oh, that's a fine thing.

Guy gets up early to go fishing.

His wife should send him off with a decent breakfast.

Last night you told me not to even bother getting up,

let alone fix breakfast.

Yeah, well, that was right after dinner.

I wasn't hungry then.

Well hi, fellas. Hi.

You guys are early, aren't you?

Yeah, we just thought we might get in on some breakfast.

You know, we got to thinking about how Mom usually

makes a little something special when you go fishing,

like pancakes or waffles or bacon and eggs.

Oh you did, did you?

Well, if you're not, of course,

we could always drive all the way back home and get some--

Some orange juice and toast?

Oh, is that all you're getting for breakfast, Pa?

- That's all. - OK.

How about some waffles?

Oh yeah, that sounds great.

With maple syrup and butter.

And bacon and sausage.

Yeah, and strawberry ice cream.

Well, never mind the strawberry ice cream.

It won't take me long.

Where are Chris and June this morning, still asleep?

They got up early and took off.

Yeah, about an hour ago.

You guys didn't have a fight, did you?

Well, we won't know until they get back

and we find out how much they bought.

Bought where?

Well, there's a big sale at the Emporium.

At the Emporium?

Yeah, they're having an early bird sale.

The store opens early and the people jam in there.

It's first come first serve.

Oh, that's not today, is it?

Yeah.

- Oh no. - No, no.

Wait a second. Where are you going?

Down to the Emporium.

You wouldn't want me to miss the sale, would you?

Are you asking me?

No.

What about our breakfast?

Well, there's the butter, the milk, the eggs, and the mix.

The recipe's on the back.

I'll see you later.

What happened?

We lost our cook.

That's what happened.

I'm the kind of hungry too.

Well, why don't you guys take over here?

What are you going to do?

Oh, I'll get the strawberry ice cream.

Instead of messing around here, why don't we just go

out and get some breakfast?

Yeah, that's a good idea.

I have to stop by the office anyway

and put some money in the safe.

I'll tell you what, Dave, why don't you pick out the place

and I'll drive the car?

And Pop--

Pop can pick up the check, yes.

How'd you guess?

Oh, well, you know, unlucky at breakfast, lucky at fishing.

- Morning. - Good morning.

Are you open for business?

Well, sure, come right in.

There isn't much ready yet, but we'll find something.

I think I'll start off with some orange juice.

- Me too, please. - Me too.

Well, I hope I can find some.

Oh.

Oh, glasses.

Let me help you.

We have some nice donuts over there.

Oh, thanks, I think I'll have one.

- Yeah, me too. - Yeah, me too.

Do you suppose we could have some coffee?

OK. I'll put on some water for it.

It's right down there.

I don't see it.

I'll get it.

Here we are.

Look, will you do me a favor?

Well, I can try.

I have to go across the street for a moment.

Would you take over for me?

The owner will be here any minute.

Oh.

Well, I guess I'll do the best I can.

Oh, thank you.

It's really quite important.

Well, looks like I'm in the restaurant business.

Oh, good.

I think I'll have a couple of eggs.

One over easy and one sunny side up.

Some Canadian bacon with hash brown potatoes,

a side of link sausage, and some whole wheat toast

buttered with orange marmalade.

Yes.

And you, sir?

Well, I'll have the same except make one of those eggs

scrambled and the other poached.

Crisp bacon, french fries instead of hash browns.

OK.

How would you like to settle for a couple more donuts instead?

Thanks a lot.

Thanks.

May I help you?

Well, I don't know.

I'll fix whatever you want if you're

willing to take a chance.

That's OK.

Maybe I'll just have a couple of donuts and take them with me.

OK.

There we are.

Oh, well, thank you.

How much do I owe you?

Oh, $0.10 apiece.

$0.20.

OK.

Out of five.

I hope I can work this.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

Bye.

Nice going, Pop.

Oh, thank you.

I'm glad she didn't ask for anything complicated.

You mean like a cup of coffee?

Or bacon and eggs.

I wonder how long we're going to have to wait here.

Who knows?

I think the water's getting hot,

if you guys want some coffee.

Well, it's not that I don't trust you, Pop,

but I think I'll wait till the regular man gets here.

Yeah, me too.

Well, it's liable to take quite a while.

Hey, why don't we just put the money in the cash register

and get out of here?

That's the best idea yet.

Hey, what's going on in here?

Oh, good morning.

Are you the owner?

You're darn right I am.

Well, I'm just a customer.

The lady asked me to take charge of things until you came in.

What lady?

Well, the waitress.

Waitress?

I don't have any waitress.

Why, are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

Well, there was a lady here when we came in.

Yeah, and she took our orders.

Hey, there's 20 bucks missing here.

Well, don't look at me. I didn't take it.

Yeah, I bet it was that waitress.

I don't have any waitress.

How did you guys get in here anyway?

Well, the little old lady, whoever she was, let us in.

- That's right. - Well, there's $20 missing.

Well, I'm sorry, but we don't know anything about it.

In fact, when you came in I was putting money into your cash

register.

Three orange juices, $0.45.

Five donuts, $0.50.

Wait a minute, that's $0.60 on the donuts.

They're $0.12 each.

Oh.

Rick, do you have any change?

No I don't.

Dave?

I've only got these $20 bills.

Well, they belong to a client.

I'm just taking them down and put them in our safe.

I'm an attorney.

Stick around.

You may have another client.

My two sons.

Here's my card if it'll help.

Well, somebody made off with $20.

I want to know who it was.

Well, it's probably that sweet looking little old lady that

was in here.

Hey, you know what I bet happened?

I'll bet we surprised her, then she

tried to bluff her way through and she ducked out

the first chance she got.

Yeah, come to think of it, she didn't seem

to know where anything was.

That's right.

Well, I guess I'd better notify the police.

You fellas be willing to tell them what happened?

Well, yeah.

We're in kind of a hurry right now.

We're going fishing.

We'll be at that address in about five minutes.

Or you can reach me there any time during the week.

OK.

Well, I'm sorry about your $20.

Come on, boys.

Hey, wait a minute.

You still owe me $0.10.

Oh.

Never mind.

They were yesterday's donuts anyway.

This won't take too long, will it, Dave?

We'll never get to go fishing.

I'll just be a minute.

Do you need any sandpaper?

Thanks.

I think I can manage.

Do you think you should be watching this, Pop?

After all, you're under suspicion, you know.

Are you kidding?

I could knock over a safe like that with my eyes closed.

Morning.

Oh.

I'm Sergeant Nolan.

Yes, my name is Nelson.

These are my two sons.

Naturally, I was only kidding about being

able to open the safe.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, well, I guess you didn't hear me.

Well, it was nothing.

Are you the three men who were present when the money was

stolen from the restaurant?

Well, we were there, but we didn't actually

see any money being stolen.

But I understand you saw the suspect.

Well, well, yes.

There was a lady behind the counter when we came in

and she left subsequently and didn't return.

My son is an attorney.

It's his office.

Actually, we didn't see her take any money.

Can you describe her?

Oh, she was about 68 or 70 years old.

She was wearing a coat and no hat.

She had gray hair and she was about 5' 1'' or 2''.

This money belongs to a client of ours.

I was just putting it in the safe.

Go right ahead.

Thanks.

We don't usually get paid in cash.

Now, as I understand it, the owner wasn't present

when you arrived. Yes, that's right.

How did you get in?

Well, the door was open.

We just walked in.

We just figured they were open for business.

Why did you pick that particular lunchroom?

Well, it was close to the office

and we were coming down here.

You were coming down here to work?

Oh, no, no.

No, not in these clothes.

We're going fishing.

Here's my license, my fishing license.

That's OK.

That's not in my jurisdiction.

What's the matter?

This is silly.

I can't seem to open the safe.

He works here.

This is his office.

He works here too.

Both do.

This is ridiculous.

Let's take your time, Dave.

I knew he could do it.

It opens.

It's--

Well, I'd better get this down to the station.

If there are any further questions,

we'll get in touch with you.

OK.

We're happy to be of any help we can.

Thanks. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

- Think he believed us? - Well, why shouldn't he?

We were telling the truth.

Besides, he didn't say we were under suspicion.

Yeah, but he didn't say we weren't either.

What are you guys talking about?

Sound like we're guilty of something.

Pop's right.

If we're going fishing, let's go.

I don't know about you, but I don't feel much

like going now, especially after all this.

Well, it doesn't make any difference to me either way.

With the kind of luck we've been having this morning,

we probably wouldn't catch anything anyway.

Besides, it might not look too good for us to leave town.

At least let's get out of here.

Oh, just a second.

What's the matter?

OK, fellas, come and get it.

I don't know.

I think it's a dirty trick.

Somehow I thought I'd gotten out of this today.

That's too bad, Ma.

You just should have stayed at the sale a little longer.

I still don't think it's fair.

When Ma Barker's boys came home, at least

they split the take with her.

You can laugh if you want, but it could

have been pretty dangerous.

If that beady eyed little old lady

had known we were suspicious of her,

she might have pulled out a gun and blasted us.

Well, don't think it wasn't dangerous down at that sale

with all those women pulling and tugging.

I just can't believe that a nice little old lady like that

could have anything to do with robbing a lunch counter.

Well, somebody stole $20.

And if it wasn't the little old lady,

then it must have been us, because there

was nobody else in there.

Well, what about the sexy blonde?

What sexy blonde?

Oh.

That was just kind of a figure of speech.

Well, she couldn't have done it.

She came in after we did.

What sexy blonde?

Just a girl who happened to come in the restaurant.

I thought you said she was a little gray haired old lady.

No, there were two of them.

There was the gray haired old lady and there was this blonde.

Well, I think you're making the whole thing up.

We're kidding about this, but we may have

to try and locate this blonde.

After all, she's our only witness.

I'd kind of like to see her again myself.

So would I.

I don't think the police will be too concerned about it.

After all, it was only $20.

Well, who knows?

It may turn out to be more than that.

She might have knocked over a whole string of lunch counters.

Well, they sure don't have much to go on

as far as the description is concerned.

I mean, let's face it, we're the only ones they've seen.

Do you think you could pick her out of a lineup?

Yeah, I think so.

I think I probably got a better look at her

than you guys did.

Look, why don't we each draw a picture of her

and then we can put them together and make a composite?

You've been watching too many crime shows.

I think it's a great idea.

After you've done the dishes.

You have the eraser over there, Pop?

Put in all the details now.

Too bad Mickey Mouse didn't hold up the place.

I used to draw him pretty good.

Boy, she looks anything like this,

she ought to be caught and locked up in a cage.

The eyes look a little different on yours.

Yeah, I think they should be a little closer together.

How are you doing over there, Pop?

Oh, not too bad.

Let me see.

Well, this doesn't look like a little old lady to me.

Little old lady?

Were you guys drawing pictures of the little old lady?

Yeah.

I was drawing a picture of the blonde.

I think we finally got it.

At least it's a combination of our ideas.

Well, if it doesn't look like a little old lady,

I don't want to see it.

No, it does.

You know something?

I think I've seen her before.

Yeah, probably on television.

One of those old gangster movies.

No, no, really.

I think I have seen her.

Yeah, it was at the sale this morning.

You mean at the Emporium?

I'm sure of it.

The Emporium is only about a block away from the lunch

counter.

Maybe she ducked in there to get lost in the crowd.

I was standing right next to her

and she was asking the sales girl about a sweater.

Did she pay for it with a $20 bill?

No, she was saying they had the same sweater for $3

less at the Brookside Knit Shop.

You mean she didn't buy anything at the Emporium?

Not while I was there.

Well, maybe she went out to Brookside.

Well, it's possible.

You know, she bought something like that in a small store,

they might have her name on the receipt.

That's right.

Wait a second.

Before we get all excited about this, we have no way of--

and even-- I'll go look up the number.

Yes, that's right.

She was about 5 feet 2 with gray hair

and she was wearing glasses.

Oh, good.

She was in there and bought the sweater.

Get her name and address.

Do you happen to have her name and address on the sale slip?

Oh, yes of course, I understand, but it's awfully important.

Yes, I see.

Says they don't give out the names and addresses

of their customers.

Let me talk to her, Ma.

Hello.

My name is David Nelson.

I'm with the law firm of Dobson, Kelly, and Nelson.

Well, I'm representing three clients who

are involved in this situation, and if you

could see your way clear to give us this information,

it might avoid a lot of complications for all of us.

Yes, of course.

She's looking it up.

My brother, the lawyer.

What do we do now? Call the police?

Well, why don't we drive out to the address

first and make sure it's the right woman.

Yeah, knocking over a lunch counter is bad enough.

I don't want to get picked up for false arrest.

Just a second.

I'll get a pencil.

Here.

OK.

This is the address.

How do we do this?

Well, the idea is to get a look at her

without her recognizing us.

How do we do that?

I wondered what you were doing up in the attic.

What do we do now?

Go up there and ring the doorbell and run?

Hey, that's not a bad idea.

Yeah, especially the part about running.

Yeah, go ahead.

If I'm not back in 10 minutes, come and get me.

Doggone it.

She just opened the curtain a little and peeked out.

Did you get a look at her?

No, she ducked back too fast.

Hey, look, she wouldn't recognize you.

Why don't you ring the doorbell and maybe

you can get her to come out on the porch?

Suppose I can.

Then what?

Well, you can tackle her, then put her under arrest.

Thanks a lot.

I've got a better idea.

I think I'll go wait in the car.

Maybe somebody ought to sneak around the back

and catch her if she tries to get out the back way.

- Fellas. - Shh.

Don't attract any attention.

I wonder if she's still got the money with her.

- Fellas. - Harriet.

Oh.

You're just in time.

- Yes, evidently. - Yeah.

What's going on here?

Well, we have reason to believe

that the little old lady lives here.

You know, the one who stole the money from the lunch counter.

What lunch counter?

The one downtown.

Must've been on the all points bulletin or whatever

you call it.

No, this is the first I've heard of it.

Oh, well see, we were suspects.

That is not-- my boys and I were in the lunch wagon

when it happened.

See, my name is Nelson.

This is my wife.

And these-- fellas, take off those silly looking mustaches.

Oh.

Part of our disguise.

Well, may I ask why you're hiding here in the bushes?

No, no, we're not hiding.

See, we went up and rang the bell and then hid in the bush--

I guess we are hiding.

Kind of like Halloween, huh?

Well, no, no.

Well look, if you have something

you think the police ought to know,

why don't you drop by the station?

In fact, I'd be glad to give you a lift.

Oh, well, I don't think that'll be necessary.

No, no.

We're not in a position to make a formal complaint.

Here, we drew this composite picture.

Hey Pop.

Hey, it's the same one, the same little old lady.

Are you sure?

Yeah, you can see for yourself.

The other one's here someplace.

Look, folks, I don't know what the gag is,

but why don't you just go on home

and forget all about this, huh?

Well, OK.

I just want to tell the owner where she lives and he

can take it from there.

You don't have to come in with me if you don't want to.

Oh, you just don't want me to see that blonde.

Will you forget about the blonde?

I hardly even noticed her.

Holy smokes.

What's the matter?

That's the little old lady.

She's sitting there at the counter.

Hey, how about that.

Well, how about that for nerve.

She wasn't satisfied with the $20 she got this morning.

She's back here for more.

Look, I'll tell the owner and you

stand right next to the little old lady and if she

starts to leave, talk to her.

Get her involved in the conversation, OK?

- OK. - Come on.

Psst.

Oh, hi there.

Don't look now, but she's here.

Who's here?

The woman who stole the $20.

She's at the end of the counter.

The lady with the brown coat?

No, no, no, no.

That's my wife.

The shifty eyed little old lady down there.

She's the crook.

The shifty eyed little old lady down there is my mother.

That's right.

My mother.

Oh, hello.

Hi.

Well, Harriet, this is his mother.

Yes, I heard.

I'm terribly sorry.

Harold, this is that nice young man

I've been telling you about.

Oh, of course.

You see, Mom came in early this morning

to hide a birthday cake in the refrigerator.

Oh.

It's his birthday and I wanted to surprise him.

But when you and your boys came in looking so hungry,

I felt real bad, because I didn't have time

to fix breakfast for you.

And I didn't want to miss the sale at the Emporium.

Well, I'm glad that's straightened out.

Well, and the next time you take some money out of the till,

leave an IOU, will you?

I didn't take any money out of the till.

How about that?

He still thinks I'm the crook.

No, no, I didn't mean that.

You mean the money is still missing?

Yeah. I can't figure it out.

It's possible I could have made a mistake,

but I don't think so.

Oh, hi there.

Do you remember me?

Oh, yes.

I think so.

I was in here this morning.

You were kind enough to wait on me.

Oh.

Yes, of course.

Well, it was the darndest thing.

When you gave me my change, I guess

you weren't paying much attention

to what you were doing.

What do you mean?

Well, if you remember, I gave you a $5 bill.

And when you gave me my change, one of the ones

you gave me was a 20.

You're kidding.

That explains the mystery.

How about that?

Thank you for your honesty, miss.

Here.

Here's your one.

Oh, thank you.

Can I treat you to a steak sandwich or anything?

It's on the house.

Oh no, thank you very much.

I really have to get on home.

- Well, thanks again. - Bye.

Bye.

I wonder how I could have made a mistake like that.

I can't figure it out.

I'll explain it to you on the way home.

Bye.

That's kind of a cute twist to finish there, didn't you think?

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