All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S13E13.The.Exotic.Housemother.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-WADU_track3_[eng]

"The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Rick.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is brought to you
by your gas company,

with pipeline companies and
gas appliance and equipment

manufacturers who help
you and your family

live modern for less with gas.

That's what we
do at our house.

OK.
Come on, you guys.

The meeting's come to order.

Hey, break that up, will you?

Hey, we're right in
the middle of a hand!

Well, you got nothing.

You've got nothing.
Hey, wait a second!

Bruce, you win.
You got a full house.

That's great except we
happen to be playing bridge.

Well, you can
straighten it out later.

Come on.

Turn off the television
set, will you?

And what's so important that
we have to have a meeting?

Well, we've got a
dance Saturday night.

We've got to make plans for it.

We didn't make any
plans for the last dance.

Probably why he ended
up on the same night

as a junior prom.

OK.

Meeting come to order.
We don't want to waste any time.

So let's hear from the chairman
of the dance committee.

Charlie?
Where's Charlie?

Oh, he's not here.
He's got a date tonight.

Well, that's it.

Meeting's adjourned.

Sit down, you fellas.
Come on, you guys.

I promised my wife
I'd be right home.

All right.

Meeting come to order.

Rick, you want to tell
'em about the letter?

Yeah, we have a notice
here from Dean Hopkins.

It's the usual letter
telling all the fraternities

to get on the ball,
clean up our houses,

and live up to our
social responsibilities.

Well, it's the same letter
we ignore every month.

Well, not exactly, he's
got a little added twist here

at the end.

He makes a suggestion that
it might be a good idea

if the fraternities went back
to the old system of having

housemothers.

It's just a suggestion.

OK.

Is there any more new business?

Wow!

Come on, will you, guys?

Will you start paying
attention and turn off

the television set?

Hey, who's that?

I don't know we couldn't
turn up the sound because

of the meeting.
OK.

Meeting's adjourned.
Turn it up.

Well, you better
get going, Rick.

Kris is waiting.
Thanks for reminding me.

Well, I know you have
to get back to the club,

but I want to thank you
very much for talking

to us, Miss La Tassel
It's been a real pleasure.

Thank you.
It's been lots of fun.

I hope you'll come down
and see me at the club.

Try and keep me away.

Well, folks, If
you've just tuned in,

we've been talking to
Miss Bubbles La Tassel

a lovely exotic dancer
currently appearing

at the Zimbo Zambo Club.

And we'll be back in just 60
seconds, after this message.

Well, you guys were
looking for a house mother.

What about her?
Yeah!

All those in favor.

Aye!

Now, wait a minute.

Nobody's made a motion yet.

Wally's right.

I make a motion we
appoint Wally to send

a telegram inviting
Miss Bubbles La

Tassel to be our house mother.

All those in favor.

Aye!

You sure you want to
stay for dinner now?

Of course I will.

- I didn't mean you.
- No, no, thanks, Mom.

Kris is probably wondering
where I am right now, anyway.

OK.
When's the dance?

- This Saturday night.
- Oh.

Well, I'll get a couple
of mothers together,

and we'll make sure you have
plenty of cake and cookies.

OK.
Thanks.

Why don't you wait till
that housemother shows up.

Maybe she'll make them for you.

What house housemother?

Oh, it was just a gag.

We saw this girl on
television last night,

and the guys suggested she
might make an ideal housemother.

She was a rather
attractive girl.

Oh.

Uh, Rick, that wasn't exactly
the way you described her

to me.

Please, I'm
talking to my mother.

What about this girl?

Oh, that's all.

The guys were just kidding.

She's an exotic dancer.

A what?

She dances down at the Zimbo
Zambo Club at Eighth and Main.

How do you know?

Yeah, how do you know, Pop?

- Well, you told me.
- OK.

If you say so.

I better get going.

Rick, come back here!

I haven't even had dinner yet.

Hey, who's got my pants?

What difference does it make?

You won't be dressed
in time anyway.

Are you kidding?

You don't think I'm going
to miss this, do you?

Has anybody seen my pants?

Hey, Rick!

Here put this on.
What for?

Well, you don't want to
look like a slob, do you?

What do you mean?
What's going on around here?

Wally sent her
the wire!

For he's a jolly good fellow.
Never mind that!

She'll be here any minute!

Who'll be here?

Our new housemother!

- Bubbles La Tassel?
- Yeah!

Isn't that the wildest
thing you ever heard of?

He sent her the wire,
and she accepted!

Well, you guys must be crazy!

You can't have her
for a housemother.

What'll the dean say?

Well, nothing,
unless he finds out.

I'm getting out of here.

What do you mean just a gag?

She's coming over
here, isn't she?

Well, yeah, when
she got our wire

she thought it would be
a cute idea to accept.

You know, just as
a publicity stunt.

Yeah.
And she's coming over here.

Right now, and she's bringing
a photographer with her

to take some pictures.

It's all perfectly innocent.

I still don't
want any part of it.

- Oh, come on, Rick.
- She's here!

She just drove up!

Hey, fellas, she's here.
Come on, you guys.

Where are my pants?

Hey, somebody better get
him...

- Oh, thanks.
- Not on me, on her.

Oh, yeah!

Boy I hope there's some
place to pin it on her.

Oh, Miss La Tassel,
my name is Rick Nelson.

On behalf of our
fraternity, I'd like

to extend you a hearty welcome.

Thank you.

Hi, fellas!

Hi!

Say, this looks like a
real swinging group here.

Oh, we manage to
keep things moving!

Say, you're a
cute little rascal.

Oh, thank you.

Uh, same to you.

What's your name?

Plowy Wumstead.

Wally Plumstead.
Hi, Wally.

Hi.

Everybody look
this way, please.

Big smile.

Thank you.

Oh, this is my photographer,
fellas, Eddie Benson.

- Hi, Eddie!
- Hi, fellas.

Hey, look, you guys,
why don't you form a line,

and you can all introduce
yourself to Miss La Tassel.

How do you do, Miss La Tassel?

My name is Bruce.

Please, boys, let's
not be so formal.

Just call me Mom.

My name's Phil.

- Hi, Phil
- Hi.

My name's Carl.
Hi, Carl.

Oh.

All right.

Honey, hold up the coat.

Move your hands so
I can see your face.

All right, everybody, big smile.

This is going to make a
nice, domestic picture.

Good.

Thank you.

How does that look, huh?

Beautiful.

Not only that, it's great
to have a housemother around

to do these things.

Boy, you're not kidding.

Thanks, Mom.

- It's a pleasure, honey.
- All right.

Let's try some out in
the hall, shall we?

OK.

Fine.

Now look this way.

And there we go.

OK.

Now smile!

Fine!

All right.
Here's the action on this one.

The housemother has just
baked this delicious cake.

Rick, you're ready to
cut it, and you guys

have your plates ready.
All right?

Where's the cake.

Oh, yeah, right here.

Here we go.

Big smile.

Great.

All right.

In this tender scene,
the little housemother

is taking care of
this poor, sick boy.

All right?

OK.

You ready?

Here we go.

Hold it.

Great.

105?

It was worth it.

I must admit it's been
an interesting afternoon.

It sure has.

Yeah, I kind of
hate to see her go.

Wait till I get
home and Kris says,

what happened at school today?
What are you going to say?

Nothing.
I'm going to change the subject.

Thanks for everything, boys.

Oh, that's OK.

Yeah, I think we got
some real good pictures.

It's been a pleasure.

We'll look forward
to seeing them.

You sure have a nice
bunch of boys here.

Well, thanks, we
really enjoyed it.

- Well, so long.
- Bye,

Bye, Eddie.

See you tomorrow, Eddie.

Oh, and Eddie, would you mind
bringing my bag in for me?

I left it out in the car.

OK.

Oh.

Oh, and I wonder
if one of you boys

would mind showing
me to my room.

- Your room?
- Room?

Room?

Unless you fellas want
me to stay in the dorm.

Ooh!
No.

We have a room for you.
Don't we, fellas?

We do?
Oh, we do.

Yeah, that's right,
the cook's room.

It's very nice.
Yeah, of course.

It's down at the
other end of the hall

and up those creaky old stairs.

Yeah, and it is a
little drafty up there.

And the mattress
is kind of lumpy.

But it's very nice.

It sounds interesting.

I hope I'm not putting
you out too much,

but I figure if I'm going to
claim to be the housemother,

I ought to spend at
least one night here.

Don't you think?

- Oh, sure.
- No, that's right.

Besides, we have
another picture layout

planned for tomorrow.

That is if it's OK.

Oh, sure.

Well, I'll go out and
get your bag for you.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, and I'll
show you your room.

Thank you.

Oh, and thanks a lot for
asking me to stay for the dance

tomorrow night.

Did she say the dance?

Yeah, I guess she did.

All right.

Which one of you guys is crazy
enough to ask her to the dance?

I was.

I was.

I was.

OK, so was I. But
don't look so worried.

She can't make it, anyway.

And don't look so noble.

You probably would have asked
her too, but you're married.

When I get to
thinking about the past and all

of the good things that
were too good to last,

I cry in my heart for each
little part of yesterday's

love.

Yesterday's love.

A few tender moments
when heaven was mine.

The vows that you whispered
with each kiss was divine.

How empty they seem.

They're lost in a dream
with yesterday's love.

Yesterday's love.

Somewhere I lost you along
the way, lost without knowing

the price that I'd pay.

I can't help but
wonder how things

would have been if I could
start over and try it again.

But love has its problems
and bridges to burn.

You have to cross over,
and you never return.

For dreams have their
day and then fade away

with yesterday's love.

Yesterday's love.

Gee, that was great, Rick.

Oh, thanks.

Look, if you ever
need a job, I'll

be glad to talk to them down
at the Zimbo Zambo Club.

Thanks.
I may take you up on that.

Well, I hate to break
up the party, fellas.

But I think I
better hit the sack.

I got a big day tomorrow.

Gee, I didn't realize
it was getting so late.

It's really been
a wonderful evening.

Good night, boys.

Goodnight, Mom!

Hey, wait a minute!

Aren't you going to
kiss us good night?

Oh, darling boys, I forgot.

Hey, she's quite
a gal, isn't she?

Yeah, I sure hope the dean
doesn't find out about this.

Oh, well, who's going to
be crazy enough to tell him?

Well, what about
all the publicity

pictures that were taken today?

Well, maybe they
won't get in the paper.

Besides, I thought
you said the dean wanted

us to have a housemother.

Well, I think he had a
little different type in mine.

Well, yeah!

But even if the dean
does see the pictures,

he'll realize it was
just a publicity stunt.

He'll probably get a
big kick out of it.

Yeah, until he finds out
she stayed at the fraternity

all night.

Then we'll all get
kicked out of school.

Oh, come on.

Will you guys stop
worrying about it?

The dean is a reasonable,
intelligent man, right?

Right.

And if he does
find out about it,

he'll probably
understand the situation

and accept it for
exactly what it is.

Right.

Now, all we have
to do is figure out

a way to keep him from
finding out about it.

OK.

Then let's get organized.

Phil, you go over
to the dean's house

and let us know if he even
thinks about leaving it.

- Right.
- No, no, Phil.

- Right.
- Oh, shut up.

You get a pair of binoculars
and go up on the roof

and let us know if anyone
comes up the walk, OK?

OK?

You told me to shut up.

We got to set up a schedule
for guard duty for all

the doors.

Hey, what's the
matter with you guys?

You're trying to get us
kicked off the campus?

What do you mean?

Come on outside
and take a look.

Oh, my gosh!

Hey, somebody
go up and tell her

to get away from the window!

Are you kidding?

I'm getting out of here.
Somebody turn off the lights.

Where's the main switch?
I don't know!

- Well, somebody do something!
- Look, she's bending her knees!

That's cheating.

Oh, shut up.

Wally?

Where is he?

Where's the dean?

Where's he at?

Hey, you've been taking
sleeping pills or something?

Are you kidding?
I didn't get to bed last night.

None of us did.

We were too worried about
the dean finding out

about you know who.

You haven't told anybody
about it, have you?

- Of course not.
- Hi, Rick.

Hi, Jack.

Say, what are the chances
of joining that swinging

fraternity of yours?

Jack!

I thought you said
you didn't tell anybody.

Well, you know Jack.
He won't say anything.

Well, I hope you
haven't told anybody else.

A pretty
girl is like a melody.

Come on, Mother.

Let's go back to the fraternity.

Oh, great.

You told them too, huh?

Well, you know you
can trust the Betas.

Look, in a situation like
this, you can't trust anybody.

Well, good
afternoon, gentlemen.

Oh, Dean Hopkins!

- May I sit down?
- Uh.

- Yes, uh, of course.
- Please do!

Thank you.

There's been a little rumor
going around the campus,

and I just thought
I'd check up on it.

A rumor?

Yes, about your fraternity.

Oh, well, what's that, sir?

Well, when I sent out my
recommendations the other day,

I frankly didn't expect
such immediate cooperation.

But I understand you boys
have engaged a housemother.

Oh.

Well, not exactly.

She's just
staying in our house

on sort of a temporary basis.

- I see.
- Yeah.

Well, as you know, this is my
first year at the university.

And I greatly appreciate
the spirit in which

you've accepted my suggestions.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Say, Rick, I hate to
rush you, but don't you

have to get back to the house?

Oh, that's right.
Thanks for reminding me.

Well, it's nice to have
talked to you, Dean Hopkins.

Well, if you don't mind, I
think I'll walk along with you.

I'd kind of like
to meet the lady.

Lady?

Yes, your new housemother.

Why don't I rush on back
to the fraternity house,

and you and the dean
can walk over slowly.

Look, if you want to
get over there real fast,

why don't you take that
shortcut, you know,

around and back of the campus?

I'll do that!

Dean Hopkins.

No you don't.

Sneaking out on me again, huh?
Cut it out, will you, Jack?

This is an emergency.
Let's see.

Two hamburgers, two coffees--
Will you let me go.

Rick'll pay the check.

Rick, you're going
to pay for him?

Oh, yeah.

It's OK.

Say, why don't you have a
cup of coffee or something?

Oh, no, thanks.

Besides, I know
you're in a hurry.

It's OK.

I like to walk fast.

Come on, Rick.
Let's step up the pace a little.

It's a good exercise, you know.

Yes, sir.

Rick, you're
going the wrong way.

It's much quicker this way.

Oh, yeah, I guess it is.

Dean, do you want
an ice cream bar?

No, thank you.

Do you mind if I have one?

No, not at all.

What flavors do you have?

I have chocolate, vanilla,
strawberry, banana, coconut,

cherry, butterscotch,
peach, coffee, pistachio,

and black walnut.

Do you have any popsicles?

Popsicles, I got orange,
raspberry, lemon, lime,

pineapple, grape, and root beer.

I think I'll have
an ice cream bar.

What flavor do you want?

What were they again?

I have chocolate, vanilla,
strawberry, banana, coconut,

cherry, butterscotch,
peach, coffee, pistachio,

and black walnut.

You sure you don't
want one, Dean?

No, you go right ahead.

Well, let's see.

I have chocolate, vanilla,
strawberry, banana, coconut,

cherry, butterscotch,
peach, coffee, pistachio,

and black walnut.

And black walnut.

Hi, fellas.

Oh, hi.

Do I look OK?

Yeah!

Very nice!

I thought it'd be
a cute idea to have

a few pictures of
your housemother doing

some gardening.

Yeah, it sure would!

Well, maybe out back.

That's a great idea,
out in the backyard.

The photographer will
be here any minute.

Wait a second, Dean.

I think I have
something in my shoe.

Wasn't that Plumstead?

Oh, hi!

Oh!

I thought you were
the photographer.

Uh.

My goodness, what
happened to you?

Don't move.

Stay right there.

Dean Hopkins!

What happened
to you, Plumstead?

Well, sir, I'm
glad you asked me that.

It's kind of a long story.

Why don't we sit
down here and let

me tell you all about
it from the beginning.

Are you putting
me on, Plumstead?

Oh, no, sir.

Well, then, if
you don't mind, I'd

like to meet your
housemother and right now!

I'm not so sure she's home.

Well, let's go in
and find out, shall we?

- Hi, fellas.
- Oh, hi, Mom.

Mom?

Oh, hi, Mom!

We all call her Mom.

Dean Hopkins, this
is Mom, Mrs. Nelson.

Oh, how do you do?

do you do, Mrs. Nelson?

I made you boys some cookies
for your dance tomorrow night.

Oh, how about that?

Boy, you sure are
a great mom, Mom.

We all call her Mom.

I must say you're
getting right

into the spirit of
this, Mrs. Nelson.

I think it's wonderful what
you're doing for the boys.

Well, it's nothing really.

I'm glad to do what I can.

Nelson, are you two related?

Well, yes, sir.
She's my mother.

Oh, well, I think
that's just great!

Why didn't you tell
me that before?

Well, I guess I should have.

Oh, why don't you
boys invite the dean

in for some cookies and
coffee or milk or something.

Oh, thank you.

That's very nice.

Oh, I'm afraid I'll have
to take a rain check.

I have a council meeting
in about 20 minutes.

Thanks just the same.

Oh, that's too bad, Dean.

I've had a candy bar
and a root beer popsicle.

Well, it's been a real
pleasure meeting you,

Mrs. Nelson.

I hope I'll see you again soon.

And keep up the good work.

- Thank you.
- Bye, boys.

Bye, Dean.

Bye, Dean.

Wonder what he would have
said if I had baked a cake.

Oh, he's the
enthusiastic type.

Pardon me.

Aren't you Dean Hopkins?
Yes, I am.

I thought I recognized you.
I'm from "The Evening Journal."

I'm supposed to get a couple
of pictures of the housemother

at the fraternity here.

Oh, yes, a very charming lady.

I just met her.

Do you suppose I could get
a couple of pictures of you

and the housemother together,
you know, welcoming her aboard?

Well, I'd be delighted!

It won't take too long, will it?

Just a couple of minutes.

Hi, Greg!

Oh, hi, Mrs. Nelson!

My gosh, Wally, what
happened to you?

Never mind.

Just help Mrs. Nelson take
these cookies into the kitchen.

Well, sure.
Right this way, Mrs. Nelson.

- Thank you.
- I'll be right with you, Mom.

Oh, boy, that was close.

- Too close for comfort.
- Hi, Rick!

Oh, hi.

I thought maybe this
might look more appropriate.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that must be
the photographer.

Here, honey, let me get it.

Hey, there's a guy outside
with some camera stuff.

- We know that.
- Yeah, but the dean's with him.

- The dean?
- He's right.

It is the dean.
Well, what's the matter?

I've always wanted
to meet a dean.

Well, M, but there's
a rule about girls

being in the fraternity.

But I'm the housemother.

Well, yeah, but it
might take a little

explaining to the dean.

Yeah, he's kind of a
stickler for rules, you know,

the narrow-minded type.

Yeah, he might think
you're a little too

young to be a housemother.

I wouldn't want to get
you into any trouble.

Oh, good.

Then hide in the closet here.

All set?

Yeah, all set.

- Dean Hopkins!
- Well, good afternoon, Dean.

What can we do for you?

Boys, this is a
photographer from The Journal.

And he'd like to
take some pictures

of your new housemother.

- Housemother?
- Yes.

Oh, here she comes.
Well, hello!

Hello again, Mrs. Nelson.

This gentleman would like to
take a few pictures of you.

- Of me?
- Yes, ma'am, if you don't mind.

Oh, she'd be glad to.

Oh, why don't you go
out to the kitchen

and take a couple of
pictures with the cookies

you baked for us.

Wonderful idea!

Oh, it's right this way.

Are you sure he
wants a picture of me?

Of course.

You don't realize how
much we appreciate

what you're doing for the boys.

Oh, well, if you say so.

Get her out of the
closet, will you?

OK.
You stand guard.

All right.

Gee, we're awful
sorry about this.

Oh, I think it's exciting.

Would you believe it.

I've never been
in a raid before.

Oh!

What do I do now?

Well, you can't stand
around here, that's for sure.

Why don't you go around
to the side of the house

and wait there.

We'll call you when
the coast is clear.

OK.

No, no, not
through the kitchen!

Boys.

Oh, yes, sir.

Shh!

Do you fellas want
to get in the picture?

- Oh, sure.
- Yes.

Come on, Wally.

No, you fellas go on ahead.

I'm not dressed for it.

Wally, where's Bubbles?

Don't worry.

We're safe.

She's outside.

Hey, what's this?

Well, it looks like a piece
of Bubble's skirt or sweater

or something.

Looks like all of it to me.

Let me in.

Just a second, honey.

Here, put this on.

Isn't this a coincidence?

I used to be billed
as a sweater girl.

Well, from now
on, you're going

to be billed as Raggedy Ann.

Why don't you get
back in the closet.

How long shall I stay here?

Well, you know the old
saying, don't call us.

We'll call you.

Groovy.

Oh, wait, whose sweater is this?

It's yours.

It sounds to me
like you really

got the boys off the spot.

Well, actually, I
didn't have much choice.

I didn't know what was going
on until it was all over.

Did you ever get to
meet the exotic dancer?

Bubbles?

Yeah, and I can understand
why they were worried.

Boy, she's really something.

Why didn't they ask
me to make the cookies?

I'm glad you didn't.

The dean never
would have believed

you were the housemother.

Hi, Mom, Pop.

Hi, fellas.

Mom, you got to come over to
the dance with us right away.

- Yeah, we need your help.
- What are you talking about?

What happened?

Well, the dean showed
up with his wife,

and he wants her to
meet our housemother.

Oh, well, look,
fellas, I can't

meet the dean and his wife and
pretend I'm your housemother.

Yeah, but you won't
have to pretend.

Go ahead, Wally.
OK.

I, Wally Plumstead, Chairman of
the Ways and Means Committee,

hereby appoint you, Mrs.
Harriet Nelson, housemother.

So be it.

Here's your $0.50.

What's this for?

That's why you're
going to quit tomorrow

because we can't pay enough.

OK.

I'll be right with you.

Is it OK with you?

I won't be long.
Oh, sure.

If I'm not here
when you get back,

I'll be at the Zimbo Zambo Club.

You'd better not be.

- Goodnight, fellas.
- Goodnight, Mr. Nelson.

Goodnight, Pop.

Harriet?

Harriet?

I admit she won a
Charleston contest once,

but this is ridiculous.

Have you seen this?

Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you
by your gas company.

Which helps you live
modern for less with gas.

That's what we Nelsons do.

When you decorate your
holiday gifts and mail

with Christmas
Seals, it's your way

of sending a message
of hope to thousands

of your fellow Americans,
the victims of tuberculosis

and respiratory disease.

Tuberculosis and
respiratory disease

are stubborn and
dangerous enemies.

So when you use lots of
Christmas Seals, when

you answer your Christmas
Seal letter quickly

and with an open heart, it's
your way of showing you care.