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1
00:00:03,969 --> 00:00:07,592
Well, I am officially friends
with the Dalai Lama.
2
00:00:07,593 --> 00:00:09,422
What? How are you friends
with the Dalai Lama?
3
00:00:09,423 --> 00:00:11,596
On Facebook.
They're Facebook friends.
4
00:00:11,597 --> 00:00:13,460
Still, why would he
be friends with you?
5
00:00:13,461 --> 00:00:15,083
Because I'm enlightened.
6
00:00:15,084 --> 00:00:17,050
Ooh. I gotta ask him
to join my mob.
7
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,741
I don't understand
what's going on.
8
00:00:18,742 --> 00:00:21,710
It seems like
everyone today
exists in two realities.
9
00:00:21,711 --> 00:00:23,160
The real world...
10
00:00:23,161 --> 00:00:25,748
He's talking about Mob Wars.
It's this game on Facebook.
11
00:00:25,749 --> 00:00:26,956
...and the virtual one.
12
00:00:26,957 --> 00:00:28,717
Yeah, see,
I don't get Facebook.
13
00:00:28,718 --> 00:00:30,132
Well, Kenny's obsessed.
14
00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:31,927
I'm not obsessed.
15
00:00:31,928 --> 00:00:33,618
I just need Bobby
to join my crew,
so me, him and the Lama
16
00:00:33,619 --> 00:00:34,757
can rob a liquor store.
17
00:00:34,758 --> 00:00:36,414
You gotta join.
18
00:00:36,415 --> 00:00:38,520
Being part of
a social network
is de rigueur these days.
19
00:00:40,178 --> 00:00:42,351
It means "obligatory."
20
00:00:42,352 --> 00:00:46,010
Merriam-Webster
Word of the Day Calendar.
What up?
21
00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:49,255
I'll admit it.
I was wrong.
He loves it.
22
00:00:49,256 --> 00:00:51,464
All I did was give
a starving man bread,
you know?
23
00:00:51,465 --> 00:00:52,741
Hey.
Hey, Andy.
24
00:00:52,742 --> 00:00:56,469
Hey, you haven't responded
to my mob request yet.
25
00:00:56,470 --> 00:00:59,886
With you guys,
plus the Lama,
plus Mexican Freddy,
26
00:00:59,887 --> 00:01:01,439
I can finally be the Don.
27
00:01:03,235 --> 00:01:04,994
What?
That's what it sounded
like to me.
28
00:01:04,995 --> 00:01:06,651
Andy, you're on Facebook?
29
00:01:06,652 --> 00:01:10,448
Meredith had me join it
for this family reunion thing.
30
00:01:10,449 --> 00:01:13,106
But honestly,
I never really check it.
Join my mob.
31
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,039
No.
Check your profile, Andy.
32
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,800
I sent you
a really funny video
of a cat sneezing.
33
00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:20,079
That video was so funny!
34
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,046
Wasn't it?
My friend Matt
sent it to me.
35
00:01:22,047 --> 00:01:24,290
He always has
the funniest videos.
36
00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:25,981
You know what?
I'm getting together
with him this weekend.
37
00:01:25,982 --> 00:01:27,569
I'll see if he has
anything new.
38
00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:30,296
P.J. having plans
means guys'
night out, huh?
39
00:01:32,299 --> 00:01:34,921
No women. No curfew.
We finally get to do
whatever we want.
40
00:01:34,922 --> 00:01:36,716
Poker?
Done.
41
00:01:36,717 --> 00:01:39,512
You know, Bobby,
you should really rethink
this whole Facebook thing.
42
00:01:39,513 --> 00:01:41,376
I don't know.
Would I have to
join Kenny's mob?
43
00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:43,171
You could
always ignore him.
That's what I do.
44
00:01:43,172 --> 00:01:44,758
Join my mob.
No.
45
00:01:44,759 --> 00:01:47,244
You know what, Bobby?
Some people use it
for stupid stuff,
46
00:01:47,245 --> 00:01:50,212
but it's actually a good way
to keep up with your family
and your friends.
47
00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:53,802
Yes, Andy, you could
post some pictures
of my niece and nephew.
48
00:01:53,803 --> 00:01:56,668
Or you could come over
and play with them.
49
00:01:58,256 --> 00:01:59,429
I will.
50
00:02:01,776 --> 00:02:03,570
They're always sticky.
51
00:02:03,571 --> 00:02:05,538
That's so de rigueur.
52
00:02:05,539 --> 00:02:07,091
No, it's not.
53
00:02:07,092 --> 00:02:09,335
You know,
I'm constantly updating
my Facebook status.
54
00:02:09,336 --> 00:02:11,923
If you were on,
you'd know
what's up with me.
55
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:13,166
Like, what does
it say now?
56
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,650
That I'm at Crowley's.
57
00:02:14,651 --> 00:02:17,136
See? You certainly
wouldn't want
to miss that scoop.
58
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,587
All right, a guy
from Mike's high school
posted a video of him
59
00:02:20,588 --> 00:02:24,039
as the Major General
in their production
of Pirates of Penzance.
60
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:27,042
Free booze
for the first person
who provides a laptop.
61
00:02:27,043 --> 00:02:28,147
Oh. I'm on that.
62
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,493
Leave the coat, babe,
there's no time!
63
00:02:29,494 --> 00:02:31,288
This is why
I need an iPhone.
64
00:02:34,257 --> 00:02:35,741
How you doing?
65
00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:39,642
Why do you hurt me?
66
00:03:05,115 --> 00:03:09,981
♪ I am the very model
of a modern Major-General
67
00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,743
♪ I know the kings of England
and I quote
the fights historical
68
00:03:12,744 --> 00:03:14,986
You know,
you're pretty good.
Really?
69
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,610
Of course not.
You're horrible.
70
00:03:17,921 --> 00:03:19,198
How did you get the lead?
71
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,751
It was a small
all-boys school.
72
00:03:20,752 --> 00:03:22,511
There were only, like,
40 kids in the class.
73
00:03:22,512 --> 00:03:24,479
Even so...
74
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,826
I'm just glad
they didn't show the video
of my production of Annie.
75
00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:29,000
I looked awful
in that perm.
76
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,830
Hey, guys,
what's going on, man?
77
00:03:30,831 --> 00:03:33,108
I got this update
saying Kenny's witnessing
a train wreck.
78
00:03:33,109 --> 00:03:36,801
♪ ...binomial theorem
I am teeming
with a lot o' news
79
00:03:36,802 --> 00:03:39,010
♪ With many cheerful
facts about... ♪
80
00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,219
Oh, my God.
81
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,359
I know, right?
82
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,672
Brendo, how do you
have 700 friends?
83
00:03:45,673 --> 00:03:47,398
Dude, they're not
real friends.
84
00:03:47,399 --> 00:03:49,193
I mean,
they're potential customers.
I wouldn't even be on Facebook
85
00:03:49,194 --> 00:03:50,643
if it wasn't
for the club.
86
00:03:50,644 --> 00:03:53,922
And there are
so many women.
Hot women.
87
00:03:53,923 --> 00:03:56,960
One could even say
a myriad hot women.
88
00:03:58,065 --> 00:03:59,377
All right.
89
00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:08,971
I'll admit it,
this Facebook thing's
pretty great.
90
00:04:08,972 --> 00:04:11,388
Got me back in touch
with my entire
fifth-grade class.
91
00:04:11,389 --> 00:04:13,907
Yeah, it definitely
makes the world
a smaller place.
92
00:04:13,908 --> 00:04:15,254
I'm just not so sure
that's a good thing.
93
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:19,016
Well, it is for my class.
We're having a reunion.
94
00:04:19,017 --> 00:04:20,983
Who has a reunion
for fifth grade?
95
00:04:20,984 --> 00:04:25,229
Fifth grade was the best.
I had my first girlfriend,
Erin Radabaugh.
96
00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:27,542
She was popular,
from a good family.
97
00:04:27,543 --> 00:04:29,233
She's the one
that got away.
98
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:30,752
From fifth grade?
99
00:04:30,753 --> 00:04:33,168
She had an Atari
and a trampoline.
100
00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:38,346
Diana Kale had
an above-ground pool.
101
00:04:38,347 --> 00:04:39,450
It's hard
to let somebody go
102
00:04:39,451 --> 00:04:41,245
who has kick-ass stuff.
Yeah.
103
00:04:41,246 --> 00:04:43,420
Oh, God, I remember
when you broke up with Matt.
104
00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:44,593
Dude, I was so pissed.
105
00:04:44,594 --> 00:04:45,974
Yeah.
106
00:04:45,975 --> 00:04:47,562
He had
the first PlayStation.
107
00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,978
Wait, Matt the Facebook guy?
You dated him?
108
00:04:49,979 --> 00:04:51,393
Yeah. But in college.
109
00:04:51,394 --> 00:04:53,153
I thought you dated
Thorn in college.
110
00:04:53,154 --> 00:04:56,087
You are allowed to have
more than one boyfriend
in college.
111
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,675
It's not the '40s.
112
00:04:57,676 --> 00:04:59,781
Dude, don't even
be jealous, man.
Matt was freshman year.
113
00:04:59,782 --> 00:05:01,265
I mean, Thorn,
114
00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:03,336
he was the true love
of her life.
Yeah.
115
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,889
Remember when Thorn
came around last year
116
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:08,790
and she got all googly-eyed
and almost took him to Italy?
117
00:05:08,791 --> 00:05:10,723
Don't be jealous.
But you know what?
It's funny,
118
00:05:10,724 --> 00:05:13,484
because then she ended up
taking me to Italy,
119
00:05:13,485 --> 00:05:16,694
so I'm actually
not jealous.
Good.
120
00:05:16,695 --> 00:05:19,214
It's cool.
You guys can have
your virtual friends.
121
00:05:19,215 --> 00:05:22,493
I am quite fine
with my real ones.
122
00:05:22,494 --> 00:05:24,392
Yeah, Matt's not
Snuffleupagus.
123
00:05:24,393 --> 00:05:26,635
She's actually
having dinner with him.
124
00:05:26,636 --> 00:05:29,845
Meredith would never
let me go out to dinner
with an ex-girlfriend.
125
00:05:29,846 --> 00:05:33,470
Yep. I gotta keep this
Erin Radabaugh thing
on the QT.
126
00:05:33,471 --> 00:05:38,544
Bobby, honestly,
you would love Matt.
I mean, he's hilarious.
127
00:05:38,545 --> 00:05:42,168
Oh! The video that
he posted about the kid
with the hiccups?
128
00:05:42,169 --> 00:05:43,618
So funny.
129
00:05:43,619 --> 00:05:45,344
You know what? It's fine.
I don't have to love the guy.
130
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,933
And by the way,
posting a funny video
does not make you funny.
131
00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:51,695
But he is funny.
Like, really funny.
132
00:05:51,696 --> 00:05:54,422
Yeah, and extremely handsome.
133
00:05:54,423 --> 00:05:56,286
Okay, but is he rich?
134
00:06:00,325 --> 00:06:03,189
Guys, come on.
Give me a little
something here.
135
00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:04,880
He bought me a car!
He didn't even know me!
136
00:06:13,303 --> 00:06:15,615
Kenny, I didn't need
a status update before
you went to the bathroom,
137
00:06:15,616 --> 00:06:18,100
and I certainly
don't need one
telling me how it went.
138
00:06:18,101 --> 00:06:19,861
My life is an open book.
139
00:06:19,862 --> 00:06:21,656
Close it.
140
00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:23,140
Four Mexican Samurai shots.
141
00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:24,279
Yeah.
142
00:06:25,971 --> 00:06:27,627
Have you ever tried
a Japanese Bullfighter?
143
00:06:27,628 --> 00:06:29,388
No. What's in that?
144
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,148
The exact same stuff.
I just like my name
for it better.
145
00:06:32,633 --> 00:06:34,116
I'll bring these
right over to you.
Thanks, Brendan.
146
00:06:34,117 --> 00:06:37,119
You got it, Veronica.
147
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,914
You ever try
a Japanese Bullfighter?
148
00:06:40,503 --> 00:06:42,504
Hey, Brendan,
do you know her?
149
00:06:42,505 --> 00:06:44,161
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
she comes in here
quite a bit.
150
00:06:44,162 --> 00:06:45,956
She's a scout
for some small
record company.
151
00:06:45,957 --> 00:06:47,820
Dibs!
152
00:06:47,821 --> 00:06:49,684
Dude, you can't call dibs.
Why not?
153
00:06:49,685 --> 00:06:51,651
Because she's
not a Twinkie.
154
00:06:51,652 --> 00:06:53,377
Well, then how do I know
if she's off-limits?
155
00:06:53,378 --> 00:06:55,310
You could ask.
156
00:06:55,311 --> 00:06:59,279
Okay.
Brendan, have you staked
your claim, sir?
157
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,074
You just have to
make this difficult,
don't you?
158
00:07:01,075 --> 00:07:03,007
Look, you know,
I've talked to her
a few times.
159
00:07:03,008 --> 00:07:04,077
I'm just starting
to know her.
160
00:07:04,078 --> 00:07:05,527
Starting to know her?
161
00:07:05,528 --> 00:07:07,149
Dude, she's
probably one of
your Facebook friends.
162
00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:08,875
Just check her profile.
163
00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:10,636
You'll know everything
you need to know about her.
164
00:07:10,637 --> 00:07:12,154
That's icky.
That's lazy...
165
00:07:12,155 --> 00:07:14,191
That's Mike.
166
00:07:14,192 --> 00:07:15,917
Look, I don't need
Facebook, all right?
I do my own legwork.
167
00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:18,816
Okay,
just so we're clear here,
168
00:07:18,817 --> 00:07:21,370
you're okay that we both
go after the same girl
at the same time
169
00:07:21,371 --> 00:07:23,442
and you're not gonna use
modern technology?
170
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:27,307
Oh, absolutely.
The epic struggle
of man versus machine.
171
00:07:27,308 --> 00:07:30,449
This should be a show
on the History Channel.
172
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:34,280
Dude, this is so over.
I'll know the name
of her first goldfish
173
00:07:34,281 --> 00:07:36,834
while you're still trying
to figure out her last name.
174
00:07:36,835 --> 00:07:38,733
It's Jones.
175
00:07:38,734 --> 00:07:41,184
Man, one. Machine, zero.
176
00:07:41,909 --> 00:07:42,910
Oh!
177
00:07:46,604 --> 00:07:49,329
Hello.
178
00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:52,263
So, I finally
joined Facebook.
179
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,852
I know.
I accepted you
as a friend.
180
00:07:54,853 --> 00:07:58,062
Yeah. Yeah, well,
it turns out I'm not alone.
181
00:07:58,063 --> 00:07:59,857
It turns out I have
a lot of company,
182
00:07:59,858 --> 00:08:06,554
like a lot
of your ex-boyfriends,
like Matt and Thorn and...
183
00:08:06,555 --> 00:08:09,488
Why are you
in a Word Twist game
with Hank?
184
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,628
Okay, wait.
What are you talking about?
185
00:08:11,629 --> 00:08:13,630
You were snooping
through my friends?
186
00:08:13,631 --> 00:08:16,218
That's not snooping.
That's what
you're supposed to do.
187
00:08:16,219 --> 00:08:19,014
And you're friends
with all of your exes.
188
00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:22,431
You collect them
like Hummel figurines.
189
00:08:22,432 --> 00:08:24,744
So?
So, that's weird.
190
00:08:24,745 --> 00:08:26,574
That's why I said
"Hummel figurines."
191
00:08:26,575 --> 00:08:28,161
Well, I mean, we're
just Facebook friends.
192
00:08:28,162 --> 00:08:29,508
Oh, really?
Really?
193
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,511
'Cause you're about to
go out with hilarious Matt,
194
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:37,170
who, according to his update,
is "contemplating
his second cookie."
195
00:08:37,171 --> 00:08:39,759
Facebook is great
at bringing people together.
196
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,865
Babe, he's just a friend.
197
00:08:41,866 --> 00:08:46,386
Yeah, who's constantly
sending you virtual
beignets and green chili.
198
00:08:46,387 --> 00:08:50,252
I mean,
why do you even need
to go out to dinner? Hmm?
199
00:08:50,253 --> 00:08:52,532
It can also
push people apart.
200
00:08:55,189 --> 00:08:57,984
So,
Bobby doesn't want you
going out to dinner with Matt?
201
00:08:57,985 --> 00:09:00,159
Well, I mean, he's
not thrilled about it,
202
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,333
or that I'm friends
with any of my ex-boyfriends.
203
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,266
This is all
Facebook's fault.
204
00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,337
Everybody knows too much
about each other.
205
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:09,375
I mean,
I really don't need to know
about Andy's upcoming dinner
206
00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:12,240
with the gang
from St. Aloysius.
207
00:09:12,241 --> 00:09:14,035
I mean, Matt is
just a friend, you know?
208
00:09:14,036 --> 00:09:15,761
It is an innocent dinner.
209
00:09:15,762 --> 00:09:18,902
I know, but is it really
worth fighting over?
210
00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:21,007
Well, I mean,
not really.
211
00:09:21,008 --> 00:09:23,492
But on the other hand,
you haven't done
anything wrong.
212
00:09:23,493 --> 00:09:25,184
So what if he's
an ex-boyfriend?
213
00:09:25,185 --> 00:09:27,117
You're right.
214
00:09:27,118 --> 00:09:29,188
I mean, you're friends
with your ex-boyfriends, right?
215
00:09:29,189 --> 00:09:32,985
Only the ones that don't have
girlfriends that made them
stop being friends with me.
216
00:09:32,986 --> 00:09:35,125
See, that's not right.
217
00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:36,541
I take it as a compliment.
218
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:46,688
Yeah, yeah,
I used to DJ for 107.3.
219
00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:47,896
The heavy metal station?
220
00:09:47,897 --> 00:09:49,760
Yeah, I had the 5:00 drive.
221
00:09:49,761 --> 00:09:51,624
Huh. I've never
gotten into heavy metal.
222
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,419
Really? Oh.
223
00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:56,318
How about getting high
and playing D&D?
224
00:09:56,319 --> 00:09:58,113
No? Okay.
225
00:09:58,114 --> 00:10:00,184
Hey, guys.
Hey!
226
00:10:00,185 --> 00:10:02,601
We're all here
at the same time.
What a synchronism.
227
00:10:03,982 --> 00:10:05,362
You remember Mike.
228
00:10:05,363 --> 00:10:06,950
Yeah, my new
Facebook friend.
229
00:10:06,951 --> 00:10:08,296
Yeah, it's great
to see you again.
230
00:10:10,092 --> 00:10:11,748
Are you from Idaho?
231
00:10:11,749 --> 00:10:13,543
Yeah, how did you...
Did you...
232
00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:15,579
Oh!
233
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,995
I totally forgot
I was wearing this today.
234
00:10:17,996 --> 00:10:19,721
Really?
235
00:10:19,722 --> 00:10:21,102
I'm from Idaho.
236
00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:24,346
That's crazy.
This is like kismet.
237
00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:28,005
Yeah, two spuds meeting
up in the big city.
What are the odds?
238
00:10:28,006 --> 00:10:30,629
None.
Mike, remind me again,
239
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,804
where in Idaho
are you from?
240
00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:36,807
Boise?
Pocatello!
241
00:10:36,808 --> 00:10:38,740
That's crazy!
We're like neighbors!
242
00:10:38,741 --> 00:10:40,673
Well, I mean,
it's a four-hour drive.
243
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:44,160
Sure, yeah.
Yeah, it's all relative
to Chicago, though.
244
00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:48,647
You know what?
I'm gonna buy you a drink.
245
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,339
Um... The lady will
have another cocktail.
246
00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:54,860
And I'm gonna have...
247
00:10:54,861 --> 00:10:55,896
Hmm...
248
00:10:59,969 --> 00:11:01,453
Do you make...
249
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,696
Boise?
250
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,629
Trust me.
Shot in the dark.
251
00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:07,527
Fifty-fifty chance
he said Portland.
252
00:11:07,528 --> 00:11:08,874
I'm still not worried.
253
00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:11,531
Terminator,
Battlestar Galactica,
Terminator 2,
254
00:11:11,532 --> 00:11:13,741
history teaches us
man always wins out
in the end.
255
00:11:13,742 --> 00:11:15,363
You know that's
not history, right?
256
00:11:15,364 --> 00:11:16,813
The only history
that matters.
257
00:11:16,814 --> 00:11:18,746
Hey.
Hey! Bobby.
258
00:11:18,747 --> 00:11:20,575
We're still doing
guys' night, right?
259
00:11:20,576 --> 00:11:22,750
Yeah, we are,
'cause P.J.'s still going
to dinner with Matt.
260
00:11:22,751 --> 00:11:26,236
Oh! Handsome Matt.
You still jealous?
261
00:11:26,237 --> 00:11:27,341
I never was.
262
00:11:28,618 --> 00:11:30,861
All right, you guys.
Can I ask you a question?
263
00:11:30,862 --> 00:11:32,898
Are you still friends
with your ex-girlfriends?
264
00:11:32,899 --> 00:11:36,246
Um... No.
Not really.
265
00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:40,077
Okay, fine, but just
because the romance
part doesn't work out,
266
00:11:40,078 --> 00:11:42,355
don't you still
like them as people?
267
00:11:42,356 --> 00:11:44,633
Um... No.
Not really.
268
00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:46,877
Maybe it's a girl thing.
What does that mean?
269
00:11:46,878 --> 00:11:48,534
I don't know.
It just seems like
a lot more women
270
00:11:48,535 --> 00:11:51,054
stay friends
with their exes
than guys do.
271
00:11:51,055 --> 00:11:52,711
But doesn't the number
have to be the same?
272
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,058
Unless there's one
very sensitive guy out there
273
00:11:55,059 --> 00:11:57,681
who's broken up
and stayed friends
with thousands of women.
274
00:11:57,682 --> 00:11:59,269
That dude's had
a lot of lunches.
275
00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:00,788
Oh. He's done
some cat-sitting.
276
00:12:00,789 --> 00:12:03,514
That dude has sat through
a lot of strangers' weddings.
277
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,585
Oh! This guy
makes me sad.
278
00:12:05,586 --> 00:12:09,072
Yeah, exactly, so why
would you want me to be
friends with all my exes?
279
00:12:09,073 --> 00:12:12,075
It's not that,
it's just...
280
00:12:12,076 --> 00:12:14,767
If you cut
all of these other women
out of your life,
281
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,631
who's to say
you're not gonna do
the same to me?
282
00:12:16,632 --> 00:12:18,219
But you're not
breaking up.
283
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:20,462
No, but if we did,
Bobby wouldn't still
be friends with me.
284
00:12:20,463 --> 00:12:24,535
Yes, he would. Right?
I don't know.
285
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:27,435
Dude,
I can't believe
you just said that.
286
00:12:27,436 --> 00:12:30,024
Man, it's like,
"Would you move on
if I ever died?"
287
00:12:30,025 --> 00:12:32,026
The answer's always no.
288
00:12:32,027 --> 00:12:34,822
Yo! You're taking forever
with those drinks there, slick.
289
00:12:34,823 --> 00:12:36,478
I gotta go anyway.
You sure?
290
00:12:36,479 --> 00:12:39,136
Yeah. I'm sure
I'll see you soon,
though.
291
00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:41,035
Later, Brendan.
Yeah.
292
00:12:41,036 --> 00:12:45,591
Oh, by the way,
that color looks
great on you, Mike.
293
00:12:45,592 --> 00:12:47,835
Oh! Well, purple's
my favorite color.
294
00:12:47,836 --> 00:12:48,939
Me, too!
295
00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:50,078
That's crazy!
296
00:12:53,634 --> 00:12:55,359
Score one for the machine.
297
00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:02,988
I'm flying.
298
00:13:02,989 --> 00:13:06,405
Riddle me this, machine.
Portland. Maine or Oregon?
299
00:13:06,406 --> 00:13:08,234
It's a trick question.
Neither.
300
00:13:15,691 --> 00:13:18,382
Man, I can't believe
Mike's gonna win.
301
00:13:18,383 --> 00:13:19,832
You gotta give it
to him, though.
302
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:22,041
He really has been
doing his research.
303
00:13:22,042 --> 00:13:25,665
I just felt like I needed
to learn more about this
underappreciated culture.
304
00:13:25,666 --> 00:13:28,358
That's when I decided to go
on my first spirit walk.
305
00:13:28,359 --> 00:13:29,980
What's up, guys?
Hey.
306
00:13:29,981 --> 00:13:32,741
Your friend Mike
knows so much
about my culture.
307
00:13:32,742 --> 00:13:34,260
Did you know
I was half Blackfoot?
308
00:13:34,261 --> 00:13:35,779
Really?
Yeah.
309
00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:37,746
Well, you guys
probably just haven't
gotten there yet.
310
00:13:37,747 --> 00:13:39,887
Oh, hey, Veronica,
did you know
that Sherman Alexie
311
00:13:39,888 --> 00:13:42,268
is gonna be reading
at the public library soon?
312
00:13:42,269 --> 00:13:44,581
Oh, my God,
he's my favorite author.
313
00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:46,307
Get out of town!
Me, too.
314
00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:48,447
No, seriously!
What's your favorite book?
315
00:13:48,448 --> 00:13:50,587
Oh! So many to choose from.
316
00:13:50,588 --> 00:13:56,075
I would probably say
The Lone Ranger and
Tonto Fistfight in Heaven.
317
00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:58,388
Oh, my God,
don't you love it?
318
00:13:58,389 --> 00:13:59,527
Love!
319
00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:01,529
Why can't he work
this hard at the store?
320
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:04,014
Thanks, Mike.
I totally would've
missed the reading.
321
00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:06,051
Brendan, do you want
to go with me?
322
00:14:06,052 --> 00:14:07,638
Me?
Him?
323
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,917
Yeah, you said
you and your mom trade
books back and forth.
324
00:14:09,918 --> 00:14:11,021
Him?
325
00:14:11,022 --> 00:14:12,367
I thought it was sweet.
326
00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:13,886
Or we could
do something else.
327
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,406
No, no, no.
That sounds like fun.
328
00:14:16,407 --> 00:14:18,339
Great. We'll talk.
Okay.
329
00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:19,997
Bye, Mike.
Okay.
330
00:14:22,447 --> 00:14:24,379
Him?
331
00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:25,554
Me!
332
00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:34,355
Mr. and Mrs. America
and all the ships at sea.
333
00:14:34,356 --> 00:14:37,566
That's Morse Code for,
"You didn't get the girl."
334
00:14:47,369 --> 00:14:48,610
A toast. To the winner.
335
00:14:48,611 --> 00:14:49,716
Yeah.
336
00:14:51,097 --> 00:14:53,339
But I'm a machine.
337
00:14:53,340 --> 00:14:56,066
I know, buddy. I know.
338
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:57,861
Look, man,
I talked to her
for a while,
339
00:14:57,862 --> 00:14:59,967
and Veronica and I
actually have
a lot in common.
340
00:14:59,968 --> 00:15:01,382
But we're
both from Idaho.
341
00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:03,349
No, you're not.
342
00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,386
Hey, how about I get
the next round, huh?
343
00:15:05,387 --> 00:15:07,595
Thanks.
344
00:15:07,596 --> 00:15:12,358
Don't worry about it, pal.
I'm sure there's somebody
out there for you.
345
00:15:13,671 --> 00:15:15,949
Hey, I got a status...
346
00:15:17,261 --> 00:15:18,364
Make sure
you wash your hands.
347
00:15:18,365 --> 00:15:19,849
Okay.
348
00:15:22,128 --> 00:15:23,266
Is this seat taken?
349
00:15:23,267 --> 00:15:24,750
No, help yourself.
350
00:15:24,751 --> 00:15:26,786
I'm Laura.
Hi, I'm Mike.
351
00:15:26,787 --> 00:15:28,202
Hi.
352
00:15:28,203 --> 00:15:30,273
Hey, 2 Out Rally.
That's where I work.
353
00:15:30,274 --> 00:15:33,414
No way. Really?
Really.
354
00:15:33,415 --> 00:15:35,934
What a synchronism.
355
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,970
Hey, I know what that means.
356
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,040
Wow!
357
00:15:40,111 --> 00:15:41,560
Grab a seat.
Thanks.
358
00:15:41,561 --> 00:15:42,802
Do you want
something to drink?
359
00:15:42,803 --> 00:15:44,252
Scotch on the rocks.
360
00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:45,322
I think I'm in love.
361
00:15:45,323 --> 00:15:46,566
Me, too.
362
00:15:53,297 --> 00:15:55,056
Ooh!
363
00:15:55,057 --> 00:15:58,233
Matt just had
"the best paella ever!"
364
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,925
How you doing, buddy?
I'm just fine.
365
00:16:01,926 --> 00:16:03,237
Paella?
366
00:16:03,238 --> 00:16:05,101
Must be at that
Spanish restaurant
367
00:16:05,102 --> 00:16:07,862
right next to that
hot tub place.
368
00:16:07,863 --> 00:16:09,864
You can rent those
by the hour, right?
369
00:16:09,865 --> 00:16:13,350
Nothing like making love
on a bellyful of rice.
370
00:16:13,351 --> 00:16:15,249
I feel like that's
actually Spain's motto,
isn't it?
371
00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:17,251
It is, actually.
372
00:16:17,252 --> 00:16:19,287
This is the life, right?
Just a bunch of guys
playing poker.
373
00:16:19,288 --> 00:16:22,497
Yeah. This is what it's
gonna be like right after
P.J. dumps Bobby for Matt.
374
00:16:22,498 --> 00:16:24,223
I can't wait.
375
00:16:24,224 --> 00:16:25,604
Hello, boys.
376
00:16:25,605 --> 00:16:27,157
Hey!
377
00:16:27,158 --> 00:16:29,711
Great, you're still playing.
Deal me in.
378
00:16:29,712 --> 00:16:33,094
Can't. We're practicing
for life without P.J.,
and you're P.J.
379
00:16:33,095 --> 00:16:34,302
What are you
talking about?
380
00:16:34,303 --> 00:16:36,408
We're taking sides.
We're not taking sides.
381
00:16:36,409 --> 00:16:37,961
If they break up,
we might have to.
382
00:16:37,962 --> 00:16:39,583
If you're not gonna
stay friends with her...
383
00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:40,653
I choose P.J.
384
00:16:40,654 --> 00:16:42,138
What? Come on.
385
00:16:42,139 --> 00:16:45,106
Wait, why are we doing this?
And what if I don't want Mike?
386
00:16:45,107 --> 00:16:47,695
It's guys' night stuff.
You in or you out?
387
00:16:47,696 --> 00:16:48,799
All right, I'm in.
388
00:16:50,147 --> 00:16:52,631
Wow, so we're really gonna
divvy you guys up, huh?
389
00:16:52,632 --> 00:16:54,598
Okay, fine.
I'll take Andy.
390
00:16:54,599 --> 00:16:58,775
No, he's my...
Okay. I take Kenny.
391
00:16:58,776 --> 00:17:01,157
Okay, then I get Brendo.
Last pick?
392
00:17:01,158 --> 00:17:05,126
No, wait. Okay.
I'm gonna trade Kenny
and Mike for Brendo.
393
00:17:05,127 --> 00:17:06,369
I don't want to
give Brendo up.
394
00:17:06,370 --> 00:17:09,510
But why? He lives with me.
He has a room here.
395
00:17:09,511 --> 00:17:12,099
Does anyone else feel like
it's 1987 and the judge
is making you choose
396
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:14,618
between Mommy's house
or Daddy's new condo?
397
00:17:14,619 --> 00:17:15,930
Beats finding out
that Mike and I
398
00:17:15,931 --> 00:17:17,449
equal one Brendan.
Yeah.
399
00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:19,347
You know what?
This has actually
become ridiculous now.
400
00:17:19,348 --> 00:17:20,797
It would never
come to this.
401
00:17:20,798 --> 00:17:22,730
It will if you don't
stay friends with her.
402
00:17:22,731 --> 00:17:27,769
No, because, guess who just
became Facebook friends
with four ex-girlfriends?
403
00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:31,497
Oh! That's great!
That makes me really happy.
404
00:17:31,498 --> 00:17:32,774
You guys are weird.
405
00:17:32,775 --> 00:17:34,638
And it was actually
really fun catching up
with them.
406
00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:36,985
You were right.
I don't know.
407
00:17:36,986 --> 00:17:39,367
There's just something
really nice about, you know,
reconnecting with the past.
408
00:17:39,368 --> 00:17:42,681
Stay away from
elementary school reunions.
409
00:17:42,682 --> 00:17:44,510
Seeing the old gang
didn't go so well, huh?
410
00:17:44,511 --> 00:17:46,236
I found out
I've been living a lie.
411
00:17:46,237 --> 00:17:47,893
Really? Yeah.
412
00:17:47,894 --> 00:17:51,552
Turns out Chris Morgan
was the king of recess,
413
00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:53,140
Josh Breger
was the smart one,
414
00:17:53,141 --> 00:17:57,005
and everyone thought
Erin Radabaugh was
their first girlfriend.
415
00:17:57,006 --> 00:18:00,664
This whole Facebook thing
has just been more trouble
than it's worth.
416
00:18:00,665 --> 00:18:02,597
Dude, it's like
I said before.
417
00:18:02,598 --> 00:18:04,323
I'm not so sure
that making the world
a smaller place
418
00:18:04,324 --> 00:18:05,945
is such a good thing.
It's true.
419
00:18:05,946 --> 00:18:09,190
You know, I have
successfully narrowed
my world to just this,
420
00:18:09,191 --> 00:18:11,192
and I'd like to
keep it that way.
421
00:18:11,193 --> 00:18:14,092
Well, I'm over Facebook, too.
I didn't hook up
with one chick over it.
422
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,921
You met Laura.
423
00:18:15,922 --> 00:18:18,510
Yeah, but not because of that.
She was just hanging out
at Brendan's club.
424
00:18:18,511 --> 00:18:21,547
Hey, did you know she's also
a giant fan of Ted Nugent?
425
00:18:21,548 --> 00:18:22,893
It's crazy, right?
426
00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:24,655
You know that wasn't
just serendipitous?
427
00:18:26,035 --> 00:18:28,727
What?
You'll get there, buddy.
428
00:18:28,728 --> 00:18:31,005
All right, Bobby.
Pretend P.J.'s not here.
429
00:18:31,006 --> 00:18:33,973
Are you really happy to have
all these ex-girlfriends
back in your life?
430
00:18:33,974 --> 00:18:36,114
I think so.
I'm actually having coffee
431
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,495
with my high-school
girlfriend Suzanne.
432
00:18:38,496 --> 00:18:40,221
Suzanne, huh?
433
00:18:40,222 --> 00:18:41,395
Yeah. Yeah,
she's in town
for the weekend.
434
00:18:41,396 --> 00:18:43,328
She actually works
at the White House now.
435
00:18:43,329 --> 00:18:45,088
The one down the street?
The one in Washington.
436
00:18:45,089 --> 00:18:47,090
Better.
437
00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:49,886
Anyway, she speaks,
like, four languages now.
It's crazy.
438
00:18:49,887 --> 00:18:51,991
Wow. Well...
439
00:18:51,992 --> 00:18:54,856
So, that's really cool.
You made an old friend
a new friend.
440
00:18:54,857 --> 00:18:56,824
You know who also made
an old friend a new friend?
441
00:18:56,825 --> 00:19:00,448
Erin Radabaugh.
She left the reunion
with Jerry Pasquale.
442
00:19:00,449 --> 00:19:03,727
I had to drive
her husband home.
Nice guy.
443
00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:08,594
Holy mother.
This is Suzanne? Dude.
444
00:19:08,595 --> 00:19:11,425
Oh.
How do you say "hot"
in four languages?
445
00:19:11,426 --> 00:19:12,771
That's Suzanne?
446
00:19:12,772 --> 00:19:15,360
Is she the Deputy
Secretary of Yowza?
447
00:19:15,361 --> 00:19:17,465
Why would you ever
break up with her?
448
00:19:17,466 --> 00:19:18,708
How you doing, buddy?
449
00:19:18,709 --> 00:19:20,883
I'm fine.
450
00:19:21,919 --> 00:19:23,368
So, is she married now?
451
00:19:23,369 --> 00:19:26,371
No, I think
she's still single.
452
00:19:26,372 --> 00:19:28,959
So, I just call
the White House
and ask for Suzanne?
453
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,375
Yeah.
Hmm.
454
00:19:30,376 --> 00:19:32,100
Bobby, again,
pretend P.J.'s not here.
455
00:19:32,101 --> 00:19:33,654
No, no. Very much here.
456
00:19:33,655 --> 00:19:36,450
Yeah, guys, come on.
Let's show some sensitivity.
457
00:19:36,451 --> 00:19:38,521
Bobby still has dibs
on Suzanne.
458
00:19:38,522 --> 00:19:40,385
She'd be a fool not to
want you. You're looking
good these days,
459
00:19:40,386 --> 00:19:42,525
and I'm saying that
as a man and a friend.
460
00:19:42,526 --> 00:19:43,905
And a weirdo.
461
00:19:43,906 --> 00:19:45,769
I wonder what language
she makes love in.
462
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:48,393
All right, all right.
I know what you guys
are doing.
463
00:19:48,394 --> 00:19:49,946
Does not bother me.
464
00:19:49,947 --> 00:19:52,707
Will it bother you
when Bobby voulez-vous
coucher avec Suzanne?
465
00:19:52,708 --> 00:19:55,469
You know what you said?
No, but you know
what I meant.
466
00:19:55,470 --> 00:19:57,678
Oh. All of a sudden,
my distant virtual friends
467
00:19:57,679 --> 00:19:59,542
are looking better
than my real ones.
468
00:19:59,543 --> 00:20:02,234
Yeah, and you can always
de-friend those guys.
469
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,511
You're stuck with us.
470
00:20:03,512 --> 00:20:05,548
Am I, though?
471
00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:08,275
I'm thinking about breaking up
with Bobby just to see how
this whole thing shakes out.
472
00:20:08,276 --> 00:20:11,416
Speaking of virtual friends,
the Dalai Lama dumped me.
473
00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:15,282
Did he find out you're not
the same Kenny Moritorri
he went to high school with?
474
00:20:15,283 --> 00:20:18,146
It's all right.
He'll be in my mob
in my next life.
475
00:20:18,147 --> 00:20:21,011
Kenny, you do realize
you weren't really friends
with the Dalai Lama.
476
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:24,256
And Mike's not really friends
with Scottie Pippen.
477
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,603
He wouldn't know me
if I sat next to him
in a bar,
478
00:20:26,604 --> 00:20:30,020
but I do know
he had Brussels sprouts
with dinner last night.
479
00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,230
All right, guys.
What do you say
we actually play some poker?
480
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,749
Deal them up.
Do it.
481
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:40,134
Oh. Hey! Matt is single.
Let's hook up
Suzanne and Matt.
482
00:20:40,135 --> 00:20:44,070
Ooh. I don't think
Matt is attractive enough
for Suzanne.
483
00:20:45,105 --> 00:20:46,520
Yowza.
484
00:20:48,316 --> 00:20:50,834
It can be a lot of fun
having virtual friends,
485
00:20:50,835 --> 00:20:53,181
but nothing beats
the real thing.
37774
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