All language subtitles for My.Boys.S03E03.The.Boyfriend.Hat.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

I'm so lucky.

The guys are
always there for me

to share
the big life moments.

You guys? Guess what.

Oh, hold on
one second, P.J.

Mike was just about
to tell us about the time
his uncle boxed a kangaroo.

Unless there's
something more pressing.

Okay, okay. It's 1967,
Melbourne. Uh...

G'day, mate!

Did you get it?
I got it.

What'd you get?

Um...

I'll tell you guys later.
Let Mike finish his story.

No, no. It's okay.
I mean, you've
already interrupted us,

so go ahead and tell us all
what it is that you
got that's so important.

Okay. I got a promotion,
you guys.

I'm going to have
my own column.

Hey, that's awesome.

Wow! Congratulations!

I didn't know you
were up for a column.

Well, I didn't want to
make a big deal about it,

you know,
in case I didn't get it.

But you did get it,
so, yay!

You guys,
I can't believe this.

This is, like,
my dream job,
you know?

I mean, I can cover
all different
kinds of sports.

I can basically write
whatever story I want.

I've got a story for you.

A young Liam Callahan
steps into the ring...

Plus, like, it's got to be
so much less time
on the road, right?

Oh, yeah.
But check this out.

They're going to do,
like, a whole ad
campaign to launch it.

How cool is that?

Uh, super cool.

That is awesome, Peej.
It's what
you've always wanted.

I know. I know.
It is. It is. It is.

But I will finish
telling you all
about that later,

'cause I really want
to hear Mike's story.

Come on.
No, no. It's okay.

Come on.
Tell us the story.

Come on.

I don't want to.
I'm not... I'm not...

Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Okay. Okay.

So, he steps into the ring.

His rival hops in.

Now, Liam is facing
the match of his life,

and Mr. Honkytonk,
his opponent, stares
right into the eyes,

jumps over the rope,
darts into the outback.

He never fought again.

Melbourne's not even
near the outback.

Wait, who never fought again?
Your uncle or the kangaroo?

My uncle.
Oh, no, Mr. Honkytonk
was huge.

He ended up on a stamp.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah,
I'll call you tomorrow and
let you know what I find out.

All right. Bye.

Who was that?

Oh, it's John.

We're having
a few little problems
at the club,

like, you know, we're
a little behind schedule,
haven't decided on a name.

Although, I do have
some cool ideas.

"Medicine Bar"?
"Elevation"?

"The Goat and Oranges"?
No?

No.
Dude, no.

I'll come up
with something.

And also, you guys know
how I've been going around

to these bars
and clubs lately,

sort of doing some research
and spreading the word?

Well, I'm going
out again on Friday.
Who's in for Cloister?

Ooh, Friday's
bad for me.

I am taking my lady
out to celebrate
her big promotion.

Well, that's cool.
How about you, Peej,
you free?

I'm his lady.

Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

You guys are still kind of
getting used to that, huh?

It's not dropping in.
I don't know why.

Mike?

Oh, uh, no can do,
buddy. I'm on call.

Oh, my God,
they still make those?

Mike, why do you
have a pager?

It's Maggie's ex-husband's,
uh, the surgeon.

It lets me know when it's time
to
get together.

You know, it's kind of like
when Commissioner Gordon

uses the Bat-signal
to call the Batman.

Is it, though?

Why doesn't she
just phone you?

Yeah, she's not into
talking all that much.

Dude.
Pretty great, huh?

Dude.

Well, all right.
It's just you and me, Kenny.

Oh, man,
I hate those douchey clubs.

It's not our scene, Brendo.

Come on, man.
All right, look, drinks on me.
All night.

All right? I promise.
All right.

Yeah.

Speaking of drinks,
next round's on me.

Who needs?
Yeah, it is.

Oh!

Count me out, suckers.
Dr. Mike has got
to make a house call.

Time to deliver
10 cc's of love, stat.

Nope.
Just the battery's low.

What are we drinking?

So, Kenny, you still up
for going out tomorrow night?

I guess.
You still buying?
All right.

Where you guys going?

They're hitting some bars
to spread the word
about the club's opening.

And this is the first
I'm hearing of it?

Oh, sorry, pal, I just
didn't think to ask you.

Well, maybe I
won't think to ask you
to go to the Jonas Brothers.

That's right. Ouch.

Doesn't feel so good
when it happens
to you, does it?

What's up?
Hey.

Why are you looking
all ladylike?

Yeah.
You look all good.

You don't mind that I said
she looked good, right?

Of course not.

Well, I took some
photos today

'cause I have a column.

That's why you
give the hot chick
the column.

Because nobody wants
to look at pictures of
an old, bald, wrinkly dude.

Well, I don't really think
that's why I got the column.

Oh, come on, P.J.
Don't be naive.

You think that your looks
have nothing to do

with you getting
that promotion?

No. I would like to think
it's because I earned it.

By being hot.

By being a good writer.

You are a great writer.

Thank you.
You are a little biased.

He's right.

You are a great writer
with long blonde hair
and great set of legs.

No offense, Bobby.
All good.

Like the late John Updike.

Nice set of getaway
sticks on that guy.

I'm just saying
that it's more important
to be the hot sportswriter.

You don't mind that
I keep calling her hot?

Honestly, from the two
of them, it was okay.

From you? A little creepy.

What's the big deal?
So, being hot got you a job.

You know, it's no different
than having a friend
help you out getting a gig.

You know, it's, like,
the only reason I have my job
is because I know Kenny.

Actually, it's because
you're hot.
Oh.

Yeah, and I wouldn't have
had Cabaret Mystique
if it wasn't for John.

Cabaret Mystique?
Really?

No?
No.

You know what?
This is borderline
offensive.

Borderline?
Hey, look how far
I've come!

No. This is
actually insulting

that you would
think I got a promotion
because of my looks.

You're a hot chick
who knows sports, okay?
It's a novelty.

It's like...
It's like a boxing kangaroo.

Yeah, hot chicks
make everything better.

Hot chicks and football, cheerleaders.

Hot chicks and politics,
Sarah Palin.

You still think she's hot?

It's the glasses.
I got a thing
for smart chicks.

You still think
she's smart?

Man, I wish P.J.
would listen to me

and not let this
bother her so much.

Oh, no, you don't.

But I kind of do.

No, you don't.
Let me help you out, Bobby.

See, you're in
a relationship now.

What you think,
your opinions,
they don't matter anymore.

If you want to be happy,
just remember this,

she's always right.

Right, but we're in
the same field, you know?
We're colleagues.

I don't think
you understand.

See, you're wearing
the journalist hat

when you should
be wearing
the boyfriend hat.

The boyfriend hat?

It's actually a helmet,
but yeah.

Things are different
now that you're dating.

You used to
wear the friend hat
or the journalist hat,

but now you're the boyfriend.
You just get the one.

When you wear
the boyfriend hat,
you got to agree with her.

But what if she's wrong?

She's never wrong.

You're in the back car
of this roller coaster, bucko.

You don't do the steering.

But...
Listen to me, damn it.

Do not be rational.
Do not be reasonable.

Whatever you do,
for God's sake,
just agree with her.

Okay?
Okay.

All right.
Glad we had this talk.

Bucko?

Yeah, I don't know
where that came from.

All right, all right.
You ready?

Yeah, you sure you don't
want to just go to Crowley's?

Oh, dude, relax.
You're going to
have a great time.

All right.
But if it's lame,
I'm out of there.

Oh, my God.

What's happening, everybody?

Hey!

Open up.

What was that for?

Because you're cute.

Whoo-hoo!

This is
the greatest bar
in the world.

Yeah, it's not bad.

No. You don't understand.

They have everything.
Games on big screen,

prices that aren't obscene,
girls that are not mean.

And twins!

Hey, what's up, Steph?

Hi. Please hold
for Stephanie Layne.

Wait, what? Who is this?

My new personal assistant.

I'll call you back.
Pretty great, huh?

Wait. Why do you have
a personal assistant?

My publisher
thought I should get one,
so I hired Carly.

She's Layne
Publishing Group's
first employee.

Layne Publishing Group?

It's a division
of Layne Enterprises.

You should look
into getting one,
too, you know?

Now that you're
a big columnist.

Oh, my God, Steph.
The guys were so
irritating last night.

Mike kept saying
that the only reason
why I got the promotion

was because I'm
an attractive woman.

So what?
Who cares what they think?

I do. Because it implies
that people
don't take me seriously.

Who says using your looks
to your advantage
is wrong, anyway?

You know who?
Ugly people.

Being attractive is an asset.
It's like being rich or tall.

And you don't see
people tall enough
to reach the top shelf

standing in line to
buy stepladders, do you?

Did you just
make that up?

Yes, but it sounded
like a saying, didn't it?

All right, look,
you're making
a mountain out of a molehole.

Okay, that is
certainly not a saying.

Well, you know what I mean.

Peej,
you're an attractive woman.
Don't be ashamed of it.

I mean, if people think that
you're a hot sportswriter,
then own it.

I guess you're right.
I mean, I should just relax.

And it's not like
the paper's
trying to sell me

as, you know,
"The Sports Babe"
or something, so it's...

If it makes you feel better,
you do not look like that.

I mean, it was horrible.

There I was,
all glammed up on this bus
with the tag-line,

"P.J. Franklin
knows what men want."

Everyone knows
what men want.
A nap.

I don't know
what to do now.

I mean, on the one hand,
this was like my dream job.

Yeah, and you should keep it.

But I don't feel right
if that's why I got it.

Well, then, maybe you go
with your conscience.

So, what?
I should just leave it
and look for another job?

I mean, that's crazy.
I earned this column,
you know?

I should not
have to give it up.

Man, no matter what I say,
it's the wrong thing.

Of course it is.
You're the boyfriend.

You're the one that told me
to just agree with her.

But you're not.
You're trying
to fix things.

What's the matter
with trying to fix things?

You can't fix things.
You think Meredith
wants me to fix things?

Well, there is
the garbage disposal
and the back step,

but even then,
I'm not her first choice.

Never be too good at anything
that you don't want to do.

Even he knows.

So, I do nothing?

No, you listen.

Just answer
"yeah" and "uh-huh"

and watch everything
work itself out.

That's wearing
the boyfriend hat?
Yeah.

And you really
think that'll work?
Uh-huh.

Because I don't know
if P.J.'s gonna fall for that.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Oh, I see what
you're doing.
Yeah?

You're very good at this.
Uh-huh.

Hey, what's up?
Hey.

So, I heard you two
had a pretty good time
the other night.

Oh, we did.

Oh, man, this bar
was unbelievable.

It's like starring
in your own
awesome beer commercial.

I mean,
I swear I felt a cool,
mountain breeze

every time
somebody opened a bottle.

Okay, I'll go.
Go where?

To the, uh,
beer commercial place.
Tonight. Guys' night out.

All right, but, I mean,
is Maggie going to
be cool with that?

Oh, yeah, yeah.
We're taking
some time off.

She dumped you?
No, no, no, no, no.

It's, uh... It's more of
a cooling-off period.

She dumped you.
Yes.

But look what I still have.

Okay, I was thinking.
I need the advice
of a colleague.

Yeah.

I mean, I should just
talk to Jack Brisco.

Uh-huh.

You think
that's a good idea?
Yeah.

Should I talk
to him tomorrow?
Uh-huh.

Oh, thank you so much.

I charge by the hour.

Oh!

I'm blowing up.

Tight jeans.

There you go.

Oh, guys, I can't do it
tonight. John needs
me down at The Rorschach.

Rorschach?
No?

No.
Oh.

Well, I can't go out tonight,

but you guys should
totally go without me.
You'll have a great time.

Yes.

What's happening, everybody?

Let's just grab a seat.
Come on.

That one's reserved.

Sorry. Sorry.

That one, too.

Really?

I'm not having
very much fun.

It's not us.
Must be an off night,
or something.

You guys can't
stand in this corner.

Oh!

Is it Maggie?

No, it's 531-8008?

Flip it.

Boobies!
Nice. Nice. Boobies.

Hey, Jack.
You got a minute?

For you, sweetheart?

Two.

All right, clock's ticking.
What do you got?

All right, well,
it's about my column.

Oh, yes.
I heard you got the call.
Congratulations.

Well, thanks, Jack.

You know,
when I was your age,
I didn't have a column.

Nope. I was in Vietnam,

doing a little thing
called serving my country.

But I suppose
backpacking across Europe
on Daddy's credit card

prepares one for the world
in much the same way.

Anyway... Um...

I really admire the integrity
that you've shown
throughout your career.

Yeah, you wanna
cut to the chase?

Because kissing up
is not going to keep me

from making short work
of that burrito.

All right,
well, I'm sure you've seen
the ads the paper's running.

I don't want the job
if I got it because,
you know, I'm the pretty one.

Oh. Is that all?
Yeah, well, you got
nothing to worry about.

Really?
Yeah.

You know Dina Metzler?
Out of LA?

Well, she was up
for the same gig.

And Dina is way
hotter than you.

Excuse me.
You know her?

No? Well, she's young,
younger than you.

And, um, she covers football.
Boy, does she cover football.

Jack...
You probably
haven't seen her before

because she's always bathed
in brilliant white light.

All right, Jack,
what you're trying to say
is I earned the job?

I'm trying to say
that they had a chance
to hire Helen of Troy

and they went with integrity.

Damned if I know why.

Boy, that woman
aroused feelings in me
I thought dead since the '70s.

Anyway, you better go
turn in that column, kid.

You're on deadline.

Thanks, Jack.

I don't know what happened.

Last time
I went with Brendo,

we were treated
like the two
most popular guys

in a super-awesome
beer commercial.

Well, that's because Brendo
wasn't with us this time.

You think that's it?

Dude, of course that's it.

Those doors
open up for Brendo.
That's a Brendo scene.

That's not our scene.

Yeah, and let's be honest,
it's exhausting.

The shots,
the dancing,
the standing.

Dude, my feet still hurt.
See? This is our scene.

Where we get to
sit like adults.

Have a conversation, huh?
Let's enjoy.

Mmm. Mmm...

You can really taste
the hops in this one.

Yeah. It's got a full body,
a robust flavor.

But I'm not full,
and I've had four.

Now, that's a good beer.
Yeah.

This is a great bar, okay?

I mean, you've got Lefty,
Steve, other Steve.

Yes, we don't need
that other place.
No.

This is our place.
Not going.

Look, if you offered me
100 grand to go to that bar
right now, I'm not in.

Here's $100,000.
I will not take it.

Here's $150,000.
I won't take it.

Here's $200,000.
Mmm, still not!

You have principles!

Principles!
I will not go to that bar.

What's up, fellas?
Hey.

How you doing?
Good. Good.

Got off a little early.
Thought I was gonna
go over to Cloister.

You guys wanna go?
Let's go.

Oh, absolutely.
Let's rock 'n' roll...

So, what do you think?
Do you think it's good?

Yeah.

And you think I was
right keeping the job?

Uh-huh.

'Cause I know I'm not, like,
just some pretty face, right?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

I don't know. Ugh!

I'm sorry, do you...
Do you really want
to know what I think?

What do you mean?
Of course I do.

Well, it's just,
I've kind of been trying

to tell you
for the last few days,

but it sort of seems
like you don't
care what I think.

Of course I care
what you think.

Well, here's the thing.
You went to Stephanie.

And then you went to Jack.

But Stephanie's my friend
and Jack's my colleague.

Oh. Oh.

If only you knew someone
who straddled
both of those worlds.

Okay. But, I mean,
you're biased, you know?

You're gonna think
everything I do is great.
Won't you?

Uh-huh.

Wait. No, I'm gonna be
honest with you. Okay?

Because I want to help.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just...

I'm not used to
having somebody in
the trenches with me,

you know, who cares.

Well, I do.

And I honestly think
that this column
is really fantastic.

Honestly?

Yeah, I mean,
it's smart and it's funny.
It's a really strong start.

I love that you
never mention Jordan.

But the end is...

I don't know. Maybe...

Maybe what?

Maybe the best
writing ever.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Didn't I tell you?
Hey.

Dude, that place
was unbelievable.

Brendo, you should
name your bar Cloisters

and maybe it'll
be just like that.

Yeah, I don't think
that's how that works.

Besides, John's already
got a name picked out
that he likes better.

Really? What is it?

John's.

John named the club "John's"?

Yeah. Wish I'd known that

before I ordered up
all these Chitty Chitty
Bar Bar T-shirts.

But you live and you learn.

Do you, though?

Not really.

Hey, Peej,
is that your column?

I read it. It's great.

Oh, thanks.
No, it really is.

Have you seen
how popular it is online?

Not yet.

Wow, it's the most
read column in the section.

Look at that.

Look at all the people
who've written in
the comments section.

Oh, no, no.
I don't want to see
what people have said.

You're getting some
really good feedback.

Maybe I'll just take
a look at a couple.

Look. "Great column."

"So right about the Bulls."

"It's about time
someone gets it."

You see that?
All compliments.

Well, except for that one.

Which one?
The one here that says

that you're not as
hot as Dina Metzler.

Who is this
Dina Metzler woman

and why does everybody think
she's so hot?

And by the way,
would it kill somebody
to at least mention I'm cute?

Oh, wow, she's gorgeous.

Yeah.

How about a toast?

To what?

To P.J.'s promotion!

No, no. To good friends.

You see, Kenny's wrong.

His real life beer ad
is actually pretty great.

This feels dumb.

Good friends,
great times.

Because wine
is too expensive.

Hear, hear.