All language subtitles for My.Boys.S02E09.John.Cougar.Newman.Camp.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

Ideally, when you
attend a friend's wedding,

you're on the sidelines
enjoying the drama,

not caught in
the middle of it.

I tried to help
and Jack took it
the wrong way,

and the next thing
I know, he leaves.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I can't
believe you missed it all.
Where were you, by the way?

In bed, sleeping.

I pounded on your door.

I was throwing up.

Oh.
I'm fine now.

Okay. I just feel awful.

If I hadn't stuck my nose
in the middle of their fight,

none of this
would have happened.

You don't know that.

Was it food poisoning?

Wine.
Way too much wine.

Oh.

What has two thumbs
and got laid last night?

This guy.

Who's the lucky girl?

Not a girl. A woman.

Her name is Maggie
and she is awesome.

She's wise and
mature and spiritual.

I'm telling you,
me and her, fireworks.

Seriously, you didn't see 'em
from your window?

No.
Morning, guys.

Hey, Bob.

What's up, Robert?

Bobby, I can't tell you
how bad I feel about
Jack leaving.

Yeah, it kind of sucks.

You know,
we've fought before
but he's never left.

I mean, he'll come back.
He's your brother.
It's your wedding.

Yeah, I don't know.
I kind of thought he'd
be back by breakfast,

but...

Bob. I like
your friend, Maggie.

What's her deal?
Maggie Greenmore?

Sure, yeah,
let's go with Greenmore.

She's an old family friend.

She's cool.
She's on the advisory
board for UNICEF.

And she just got a divorce,
so everybody's been curious

if she was gonna
start dating again.

Well, I can tell you
that she has.

Oh. Hey.

Maggie.
Hey.

No, no, don't do that.

All right,
get your blankets out.
The show's about to start.

Morning, everyone.
Morning.

What a glorious day.
Let's hope we have
this weather tomorrow.

Would you like to
join us?

Sorry, I can't.
I'm going riding.

Hey, do you still
have your horses?

No, I had to give them up,
just traveling too
much with the foundation.

Mmm.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll
see all of you later
at the rehearsal.

Enjoy your breakfast.

Bye.

See you.

Fireworks, eh?

Oh, you can't see
'em during the day.

I hate to say it, Mike,

but she's kind of...
Way out of your league.

Why, because she's
cultured and sophisticated
and rides horses?

Oh, my God.
She's slumming.

All right,
guys, I'm gonna take off.
I actually need to go

have a nervous breakdown
before the rehearsal.

All right, wait a second.
We gotta find you a best man.

It's fine. We'll just
do the ceremony without.

You can't do that.
It's your big day.

You need the support.
I mean, look at all the
best men available to you.

How would I choose?

Foot race.
State capitals.

Who can drink the most milk.

Or you could have all three.

I am curious to see
this milk-drinking contest.

Can I do the best man speech
and potentially host karaoke

if there's a machine?

I can be the guy that
hands you the rings.

And I can be your DOF.

What's a DOF?

Deputy of Fun.

What is wrong
with you?

I can do all kinds of things.

I could carry your flask.

Guys, I'd like to announce
that Mike will be my DOF.

Okay, so,
if we're gonna do all that,
P.J., what are you gonna do?

Oh, I have a feeling
I'll be helping
with Kenny's speech,

finding the rings
that you lose

and, most importantly,
trying to get Mike over here
to stop saying DOF.

Good luck with that.

I also wanted to let you know
I have Internet
connection on my phone,

so you can also e-mail me.

Anyway, we just really
want to hear from you.

Okay, bye.
Who was that?

It's Jack. I left him
a bunch of messages.

I just know
it would mean so much
to Bobby if he came back.

Just to Bobby?

And to me.
Of course I want
him to come back.

I really like him.

But since I'm
selfless and mature,

I'm pretending
it's all for Bobby.

This place is really nice.

Yeah.

The pool's
pretty meager.

I was thinking of
leading with that
in the sermon, you know?

An icebreaker.
I wouldn't.

Well, I'm gonna,
so pretend you
haven't heard it.

Andy,
we should just really get
this rehearsal started.

What's this?
It's the ceremony.

This isn't funny.

"Dearly beloved"?

Yawn.

Hey, there's Maggie.

Really? Where?

Dude, I'd be prepared.

I'm not sure you can recreate
that magical combination

of alcohol and
poor judgment
on her part.

You'll be surprised.
I can be sophisticated.
You'll see.

No chance.

Hello, Maggie.
Oh, hello.

Hey.
Hi.

Hey, did you hear about
the Dow Jones today?

It's up.
Really?

On a Saturday.
That is news.

Yeah, well, you know,
I have stock in Unocal

and you work for Unocal.
I mean,
how's that for kismet?

Actually, I work
with UNICEF.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure
I have stock in them, too.

Oh. Interesting.
Excuse me.
Uh, Barbara?

How'd it go?
Oh, uh...

It's complicated.
Guys.

Hey.
Hey.

So, should we
get started?

Yeah.

My baby boy's
getting married!

Oh, good,
your mother's here.

That is the first time
anyone has ever said that.

All right, who's
gonna be in charge of her?

That doesn't fall
under the category
of speech-giving.

Rings.
I have to DOF the groom.

Come on, you guys.
This is Bobby's wedding.

He could use
a little support.

Okay.

All right.
Yeah, yeah.

Thank you.
Now, let's all act
like grown-ups, okay?

Who is gonna take care
of Bobby's mom?

-Not it.
- Not it.

Damn it.

What a face.
And here it is.
Your first wedding.

Oh, and you, Elsa,
so young,
so beautiful.

Thank you.
Did she sign
the prenup?

It'll be fine, Mother.

Oh! Hold on to
your wallets, gentlemen.

Last time I saw this woman,
it cost me $50 million.

Oh, is that you, George?

I didn't recognize you
without a whore on your arm.

Well, then, get over here.

This is nice.

Good afternoon,
Mrs. Newman.

I'm Kenny. I'm the best man.
I'll be escorting
you down the aisle.

Hold on
to your wallet, son.

Dad, really,
you gotta get
some new material.

Did I use that already?

And I thought I
could face him sober.

Hey, I'm not sober.

Excuse me, everyone,
I'm Reverend Andy.

If we could all
take our places
for the rehearsal.

Okay, apparently,
we start with the best man

escorting the groom's mother
down the aisle.

I lost Bobby's mom.

Wedding's ruined.

Stephanie can
fill in for Pamela.

Wedding saved.

Kenny will escort
Stephanie down the aisle.

We should probably
talk about last night.

As far as I'm concerned,
nothing happened.

I'm good with that.

And never speak
of it again.

Roger that.
I still have your bra.

Yeah, I'm gonna
need that back.

Okay, then Bobby
will stand right there,

and then Elsa,
escorted by her father,
will stand right here.

And then the best man...

Where's Jack?

Uh... He took off.

What happened?

Bobby, is anyone from
your family gonna be
at this thing?

Andy, maybe not
the best time.

All right, fine.

So, then, I will
read the opening prayer,
followed by the sermon,

followed by
the exchange of vows.

That's a lot.

Turn the page.

Oh.

And apparently,
I'm also blessing the rings,

the pronouncement
of the union...

This is a lot.

You know,
if you wanted to,

we could toss
this whole ceremony

and I could just
marry you guys right now,

right here.

No, that's okay.

Are you sure?
I have the power.

All I have to do is say,
"I now pronounce you..."

Whoa! Whoa!

Hey, let's not ruin it.
We can save it for
the big day and stuff.

Mmm.

Why don't we just take, like,
a quick little break?

Okay, take five,
my flock.

I'll be over here
for confession.

Hey, Bobby.
Everything good?

Yes. Great.

Perfect.

I mean, you know,
I'm getting married tomorrow,

so who wouldn't be
psyched about that?

You seem a little tense.
Do I?

Well, you were
doing your

"Mmm," thing.

I am a little bit on edge.
I'm just...

You know, I think
I'm looking forward to
all of this being over with

and getting back to
the way things were.

Yeah, the way
things were,
plus a wife.

Right.

Wow!

This is all
totally normal, okay?

I mean, this is all
just wedding jitters.

I mean, after
this whole weekend

you are gonna be
married to Elsa.

I mean, that's what
you want, right?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Yes. That and...

Wow!

Nice. How did you know that?

I had a feeling.

And, frankly,
your DOF was
about to finish it.

It's a beautiful night,
a beautiful room.

What a perfect
opportunity to just forget
this Jack thing

and embrace the evening.

How's this
sound for my speech?

"Even though
I'm the best man,
Bobby is the better man."

I'm sorry,
I couldn't hear
you over your jacket.

Well, obviously,
this place is beautiful,

but my place in Breckenridge
is made from
one piece of carved wood.

One piece.
Can you imagine that?

It seems unlikely.

Well, it was a huge tree.

Wow! Look at you.
You look, uh...

There's no other word for it.
You look beautiful. Sorry.

It's okay.

Too bad the guy
that you like's

not here to see it,
though, huh?

I know.
I just sent off one quick,
little text to Jack.

Hey, how many texts
are too many?

I think anything
more than two.

Oh.

Don't sweat it.
I sent John 35 texts.

It was a rough day,
a rough day.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Robert.

Hello, best men.
You guys look great.

And P.J., wow.

Thank you,
though some credit
goes to the dim lighting

and the fact
that we're surrounded by
thousands of gallons of wine.

Speaking of which, tequila?

I'm good. Thanks.

Well, since it's out.

Bobby, your bride-to-be
is a sight to behold.

You're
a lucky man,
Bobby.

Yeah, I am.

Should we be concerned
that she's
talking to your parents?

Yeah, we should.

Go to it, best men.

Still working on
my best man speech.

I'm the DOF.
Rings.

Do you even have
rings in there?

Bottle caps.

Hey, you wanna
maybe help me out
with this?

Absolutely.

Hey, I'll just
catch up with you, okay?

Hello, Jack?
How are you doing?

Really? Where?

Oh, my God.
I'm so glad you came back.

I was starting to
run out of minutes.

You look amazing.

Oh. Thank you.

Do you wanna come on in?

I don't know.

I walked out on my brother
on his wedding weekend.

That's a pretty
unforgivable thing to do.

Now, Jack,
what are you gonna do,
stay out here? Come on.

I figured maybe
you could snag me
some binoculars.

I could watch the ceremony
from the hill tomorrow.

No, I'm gonna come in.

I just wanted to
check in with you first

and apologize
for all the drama.

Look, you don't
need to apologize.

I'm the one who
should be apologizing.

No. No.

A lot of those
things that you said,
I needed to hear.

And I did.

Come on in. I know Bobby's
gonna be so happy
to have his best man back.

Hey, guys.

Hey, look who's back.

Hey.
You're back, right?

Yeah, and P.J. told me
you guys filled
in as best men,

so thanks for that.

So, we're not
doing that anymore.

No. I got it.

Actually, it's just as well.
This thing's empty.

Could you guys excuse me?

I gotta go
let my little brother
beat me up again.

Hey, speaking of brother,
where's Andy?

He said he's
not gonna be able
to make dinner.

He's taking
the ceremony
so seriously.

Ha-ha-ha.

Hold for laughs.

Look, John's here.

Oh, man,
I can't believe
he made it after all.

I hope our bar deal's
still on.

Brendan.
Hey.

Good to see you, man.
Yeah, same, man.

Hey, dude.
I heard you
weren't gonna make it.

Yeah, I got held up
in Chicago,

but I'm really glad
that you're here.

You're still interested
in the bar, right?

You kidding?
Yeah.

I got all your texts
and your e-mails
about the floor plan.

And I made you a mix CD.

Let's start
with a drink
and go from there.

Yeah.

I'm just confused.
I thought we had
a great time last night.

We did.

I just don't know who
this person is today.

I mean, can't you
just be yourself?

You see, now,
that's a trap.

How?
Okay, "Be yourself."

"Oh, okay. This is me."
"You know what?
I don't like that guy."

And then
where are we?

See, you're funny.

So, am I gonna
see you later?

Listen, Mike,
we're in the same position.

We both came to this wedding
to have a little fun.

You didn't really
think this was gonna
go someplace, did you?

Excuse me.

Goody. This is about
to get interesting.

First of all,
I owe apologies
to everybody here,

but I figured I would
do that individually
over the next three years.

When Bobby and I were kids,
we would sit
in the bleachers at Wrigley,

trying to catch home runs.

And depending on the wind
and who was at bat,

I'd switch seats
about a dozen times
during the game.

But not Bobby. Bobby would...

He'd pick a seat
and he'd sit and wait.

And during all those years,
I never caught one ball.

Bobby caught four.

That pretty much sums
up my little brother.

He's always had
the patience and the faith

to wait for good
things to find him.

And that's true of his friends
and his career and now, Elsa.

Anyway, here's to Bobby
for catching Elsa,
home run number five.

Hear, hear.
Cheers.

Cheers.
Cheers.

So, you really
never caught a ball?

Nope, not once.

No, I did. One time.

I was heckling Dave Winfield,
and he whipped one at me.

Did you get him
to sign it?

No, I don't think
he was in the mood.

Oh, gosh,
I really like you.

Our timing sucks,
doesn't it?

Yeah.

I really like you, too.

I just don't really
want to make things
more complicated.

You know.

This is...
This is about Bobby.

And you and I
both need to just
be here for him.

But someday,
I would like to take you
to a wedding

where neither one of us
knows anybody

and we can make it
totally about us.

It is a deal.
Okay.

We might even dance.

Yes. All right.

Dude, you totally screamed.

I did not scream!

Bobby, you're
getting married in, like,

12 hours.

Yeah.

Um...

All right,
well, then, one more.

Attaboy.

Wait a second, wait a second.
We didn't hear Kenny's speech.

Well, I happen to
have it right here

if you wanted to hear...
Well, okay.

Let me get this.
Here we go.

No, no, no, no.

All right, I'll give
you the short version.

Bobby, one day,
you'll look back
and you'll realize

you were married
long before Elsa.

You'll realize
you had one big, loud wife,

and it was us,
all your friends.

And, yes, we'd argue,
and, yes, we'd make up,

and of course we wondered
why you spent so much time
on the Internet.

Creepy.
But we loved you
and we still love you,

even though you left us
for a much hotter woman.

We're gonna
miss you, Bobby.

Yeah, so, how do you
feel about tomorrow?

Okay.

I mean, good, good.
You know, it's just...
It's kind of weird

because,
like, three months ago
I didn't even know Elsa.

I mean, I was
touring Italy with you.

It all just, you know,
happened so fast.

My parents only
knew each other 10 days
before they got married.

They've been
married 32 years.

Well, listen,
it doesn't matter how long
you know someone,

as long as they
make you feel safe
and comfortable and loved.

As long as it's somebody
that you can
totally be yourself with.

Yeah, and I think
you know in your heart
when it's the right person.

You know, it's that person
who is always there for you

and who sees things in you
that you might not
even see in yourself.

But what the hell do I know?
I'm not the one
getting married.

No, no, I think...
I think that
was pretty close.

Bobby, man,
you're doing it right.

You found her.
You're locking it down.

And take it from me.
In my experience,

you don't act on it,
one day you wake up,

the woman you love's
married to somebody else.

Dude, let it go,
all right?
Enough about Wendy.

I'm not talking about Wendy.
I'm talking about Elsa, man.

I got a little thing for her.
I'm not gonna lie.

No, I'm good with that.

I gotta go to sleep.

I got lots of
sobering up to do

before all
the drinking tomorrow.

I guess so, huh?
All right.

Last one.

To the boy.

And the bar.

Hey.
Hey, buddy.

Sorry, am I waking you up?

No, come in.

I was just
working on the sermon.

So, what's on your mind, son?

I don't know. Maybe...

Maybe it's just
cold feet, but I...

I'm really having
second thoughts.

About?

The wedding.

I'm so relieved.

I thought you were having
second thoughts
about me as a minister.

Now I kind of am.

Come on, Bobby.

You do realize these feelings
are completely normal.

Yeah?

Like you went through this?

No. Meredith did.

The night before our wedding,
she freaked out.

And what happened?

We talked about it.

We realized she was stressed
about the wedding.

But thinking
about being married,
she was excited.

We were both excited.
We were best friends.

We were looking forward
to starting a family
and growing old together.

Well, not
the growing old part.

No, that's depressing.

Nobody wants to die, Bobby.

Why are we
talking about death?

Talk to her.

You're about to spend
the rest of your
life with this woman.

You should be able
to be honest with her
about how you feel.

Yeah, you're
absolutely right.

Good talking to you, son.

We're done. Okay.

There's
something about weddings
that really affects people.

Friendships are formed.

Family ties are strengthened.

Hi, honey,
I was just talking about you.

Old flames are reignited.

Strangers turn into lovers.

And lovers turn into friends.

But sometimes
things fall apart.

Bobby, hey.
What's going on?

I think I'm marrying
the wrong woman.

Do you remember
where I put my...

Hey.