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1
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In sports, it's easy
when a player goes pro,
2
00:00:04,935 --> 00:00:06,764
to lose sight of
his love of the game
3
00:00:06,765 --> 00:00:08,559
and get caught up in
the money, the fame.
4
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:10,319
You know, the trappings.
5
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,597
My brother Andy kind of has
the opposite problem.
6
00:00:12,598 --> 00:00:14,703
Solid, right?
Guess how much it cost?
7
00:00:14,704 --> 00:00:16,153
Go ahead. Guess.
I don't know.
20 bucks?
8
00:00:16,154 --> 00:00:17,602
Guess again.
I don't want...
9
00:00:17,603 --> 00:00:20,019
Eight.
Andy.
You're a lawyer, okay?
10
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,193
Maybe you treat
yourself to a nice bag?
11
00:00:22,194 --> 00:00:24,368
Not one from a guy
working off
a sheet under the L.
12
00:00:24,369 --> 00:00:28,268
Hey, Manny's bags are cheaper
and just as good.
13
00:00:28,269 --> 00:00:31,893
Unless you get 'em wet
and need 'em to
open all the time.
14
00:00:32,756 --> 00:00:33,998
An honest day, people.
15
00:00:33,999 --> 00:00:35,310
What's up with
the pajamas?
16
00:00:35,311 --> 00:00:37,484
Not pajamas.
Yoga pants.
17
00:00:37,485 --> 00:00:40,453
I just got back
from my yoga class
in Lake Forest.
18
00:00:40,454 --> 00:00:42,420
There's got to be, like,
a billion yoga classes
19
00:00:42,421 --> 00:00:43,835
closer than Lake Forest.
20
00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:46,079
Yeah, but the lonely,
rich, beautiful
Lake Forest women
21
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,598
are digging
Mike-Mike.
22
00:00:47,599 --> 00:00:50,463
It is ass soup out there,
and I'm the ladle.
23
00:00:50,464 --> 00:00:52,396
Well, watch your step,
my friend.
24
00:00:52,397 --> 00:00:53,569
If there's one
thing I learned about
25
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:55,088
being a sexy
Chicago bachelor,
26
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,159
it's that a lot of
those hot, rich women
have hubbies.
27
00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,748
Hubbies do not appreciate
single guys
hitting on their wives.
28
00:00:59,749 --> 00:01:02,509
Please. I can
handle jealous husbands.
29
00:01:02,510 --> 00:01:04,925
I've been doing yoga.
Warrior II.
30
00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:07,066
Scary, huh?
Yeah.
31
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,792
But not in the way
you think.
32
00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:12,554
It's a beautiful place.
Great wine.
33
00:01:12,555 --> 00:01:14,832
Big salad bar.
34
00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:17,455
They bring by
these huge skewers
loaded with meat,
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00:01:17,456 --> 00:01:18,836
and they, like, slice
it right onto your plate.
36
00:01:18,837 --> 00:01:20,182
I mean, it's fantastic.
37
00:01:20,183 --> 00:01:21,770
Ah, Medieval Times
in Schaumburg.
38
00:01:21,771 --> 00:01:22,874
I know it well.
39
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,152
No, not that place.
40
00:01:24,153 --> 00:01:25,394
I'm talking
about Chuhascaria.
41
00:01:25,395 --> 00:01:27,534
It's a Brazilian barbecue
in the Gold Coast.
42
00:01:27,535 --> 00:01:29,640
Much classier
than Medieval Times.
43
00:01:29,641 --> 00:01:32,815
Oh? Do they offer
a bottomless flagon of Pepsi?
44
00:01:32,816 --> 00:01:34,334
Hey, since when are you
into Brazilian food?
45
00:01:34,335 --> 00:01:36,129
It's Julie's
favorite restaurant.
46
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,959
Yeah, you know,
you've been talking about
this Julie girl for a while.
47
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,892
Anyone met her?
Not me.
48
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:42,825
No.
Negative.
49
00:01:42,826 --> 00:01:44,896
What's up with that?
Yeah, what are you?
Embarrassed by her?
50
00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,312
Hey, you know,
in Kenny's defense,
51
00:01:46,313 --> 00:01:47,727
it can be
a little intimidating
52
00:01:47,728 --> 00:01:49,453
to bring a girl around
us for the first time.
53
00:01:49,454 --> 00:01:50,592
Thank you, Brendan.
54
00:01:50,593 --> 00:01:51,938
Especially if
she doesn't exist.
55
00:01:53,251 --> 00:01:55,252
Now, Julie exists, okay?
56
00:01:55,253 --> 00:01:57,116
She's smart.
She's sweet. She's funny,
57
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,945
and no offense to
pregnant Kimmie,
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00:01:58,946 --> 00:02:01,120
but it's nice dating a girl
that isn't renting out
her uterus.
59
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,776
All right.
So when do we meet her?
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00:02:02,777 --> 00:02:05,089
Tomorrow.
We can all go
to Chuhascaria.
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00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:06,608
I'll give it a shot.
I'm in.
62
00:02:06,609 --> 00:02:09,542
You know what?
I can't make it.
I told my roommate Jeff
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00:02:09,543 --> 00:02:11,164
I'd help him paint his room.
Yeah, dude.
64
00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:12,269
I don't know if I can
make it either, man.
65
00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:13,546
Chuhascaria?
Sounds pretty weird.
66
00:02:13,547 --> 00:02:14,892
It's meat, Mike.
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00:02:14,893 --> 00:02:17,757
All you can eat
sword-loads of meat.
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00:02:17,758 --> 00:02:19,035
Chuhascaria!
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00:02:29,356 --> 00:02:31,806
Chuhascaria!
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00:02:32,738 --> 00:02:33,842
That was good.
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00:02:33,843 --> 00:02:35,050
Dude, I'm pregnant
with a meat baby.
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00:02:35,051 --> 00:02:38,018
I am just saying.
You set this whole thing up
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00:02:38,019 --> 00:02:40,676
so she can meet your friends
and she doesn't show up?
74
00:02:40,677 --> 00:02:42,299
Come on.
It's a little suspicious.
75
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:43,886
It's not.
Julie's a lawyer.
76
00:02:43,887 --> 00:02:45,129
She had to work late.
77
00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:46,579
Andy's a lawyer.
He doesn't work late.
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00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:47,994
Yeah, but I'm not
a very good lawyer.
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00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:49,754
I have to
remember this place.
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00:02:49,755 --> 00:02:51,515
The salad was yummy.
81
00:02:51,516 --> 00:02:53,551
"The salad was yummy."
Is there a problem?
82
00:02:53,552 --> 00:02:55,277
It's all-you-can-eat!
83
00:02:55,278 --> 00:02:56,968
You don't waste space
with salad and bread.
84
00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:58,901
You eat the meat
to beat the house!
85
00:02:58,902 --> 00:03:00,109
I should have
warned you, Steph.
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00:03:00,110 --> 00:03:01,421
When Mike eats
a lot of red meat,
87
00:03:01,422 --> 00:03:04,079
he gets this crazy,
belligerent energy about him.
88
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,323
What in blazes are
you talking about?
89
00:03:06,324 --> 00:03:07,807
Okay. Who's ready
for a nightcap?
90
00:03:07,808 --> 00:03:09,291
I am.
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00:03:09,292 --> 00:03:10,775
I think Steph and I
are gonna opt out.
92
00:03:10,776 --> 00:03:12,156
You guys have fun,
all right?
93
00:03:12,157 --> 00:03:13,744
Okay.
Hang on.
94
00:03:13,745 --> 00:03:14,986
You guys want
some protection?
95
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,988
Maybe we should
walk them to the car.
96
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,507
It's the Gold Coast, dude.
97
00:03:18,508 --> 00:03:21,545
What's gonna happen?
A bag of money
falls on our head?
98
00:03:21,546 --> 00:03:23,132
Have a good night, guys.
Night.
99
00:03:23,133 --> 00:03:24,444
Sorry, poopy.
100
00:03:24,445 --> 00:03:27,482
Hey, if you guys run
into any problems, just yell.
101
00:03:27,483 --> 00:03:30,313
We'll yell something back.
102
00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:33,384
Is there any decent bars
in this neighborhood?
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00:03:33,385 --> 00:03:34,696
Hey, you know,
we could go to Plush.
104
00:03:34,697 --> 00:03:35,938
I was there the other night.
105
00:03:35,939 --> 00:03:37,216
A couple of cute
little kitty cats
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00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,114
recognized me from
the bachelor article.
107
00:03:39,115 --> 00:03:41,668
When did you
become Burt Reynolds?
108
00:03:41,669 --> 00:03:43,739
Yeah, and stop winking.
Let's go.
I like to wink.
109
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,707
What's with the toothpick?
I can get away with it.
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00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:47,226
Let's go! Drinky!
111
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,124
All right.
I love that.
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00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:50,643
All right,
if you could only have
one type of meat
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00:03:50,644 --> 00:03:52,023
for the rest of your life,
what would it be?
114
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,302
Oh! Pizza.
Oh, that's a good one.
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00:03:54,303 --> 00:03:55,682
I would say beef,
'cause you can have it
so many different ways.
116
00:03:55,683 --> 00:03:57,408
Bobby?
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00:03:57,409 --> 00:03:59,134
What are you doing
in this part of town?
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00:03:59,135 --> 00:04:01,343
Hey, guys! Um...
119
00:04:01,344 --> 00:04:05,174
Not much. We were
just at this event thing.
120
00:04:05,175 --> 00:04:07,487
Sorry. This is my buddy John.
121
00:04:07,488 --> 00:04:09,248
That's, Mike...
Nice to meet you.
122
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,319
...Kenny, Brendan, Andy.
123
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,425
Oh, hey. Oh, are you the Mike
who used to work in
the Cubs' front office?
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00:04:14,426 --> 00:04:16,324
Yeah.
Yeah, Bobby told me
about you.
125
00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:17,428
My brother is Clark.
126
00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:18,498
Your brother is awesome!
127
00:04:18,499 --> 00:04:21,190
I love that bastard!
128
00:04:21,191 --> 00:04:23,365
Sorry. We just ate meat.
129
00:04:23,366 --> 00:04:25,091
How is Clark?
He's great, yeah.
130
00:04:25,092 --> 00:04:26,230
He speaks very
highly of you.
131
00:04:26,231 --> 00:04:28,232
Nah.
132
00:04:28,233 --> 00:04:30,338
So, where are
you guys headed?
133
00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:31,925
Um...
134
00:04:31,926 --> 00:04:34,031
Well, we were gonna
grab a drink at Bobby's.
135
00:04:34,032 --> 00:04:35,584
You guys should
come up, yeah?
136
00:04:35,585 --> 00:04:37,069
You live here?
137
00:04:38,761 --> 00:04:40,555
No.
138
00:04:40,556 --> 00:04:43,282
Mr. Newman,
are you coming in?
139
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,354
Or... Or, or, or, or...
140
00:04:46,355 --> 00:04:48,217
There is a great bar
right down the...
141
00:04:48,218 --> 00:04:51,082
Come on.
We've never
seen your place.
142
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:53,257
Bet there's free
booze in there, huh?
143
00:04:53,258 --> 00:04:55,812
Yes! Booze! Tasty!
Yum! Now! Go!
144
00:04:57,055 --> 00:04:58,194
Okay.
145
00:05:01,059 --> 00:05:03,198
I'm just saying,
what woman have
you ever known
146
00:05:03,199 --> 00:05:05,718
whose favorite food
is all-you-can-eat,
you know?
147
00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:07,892
Mmm-hmm.
I seriously think
Kenny made Julie up.
148
00:05:07,893 --> 00:05:09,135
Oh, of course he did.
149
00:05:09,136 --> 00:05:10,654
What real woman
would ever date Kenny?
150
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:12,794
Oh, come on!
151
00:05:12,795 --> 00:05:14,140
Oh, my God.
152
00:05:14,141 --> 00:05:16,349
Oh, my God.
They're towing your car.
153
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:19,214
Hey!
Hey! Put my car down!
154
00:05:19,215 --> 00:05:21,043
No! No, no, no!
Excuse me, excuse me.
155
00:05:21,044 --> 00:05:22,907
Wait! Wait! Wait!
156
00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:24,530
I don't have
that many tickets.
157
00:05:24,531 --> 00:05:26,083
Yeah, she's totally
parked legally.
158
00:05:26,084 --> 00:05:27,912
I think.
159
00:05:27,913 --> 00:05:30,363
"Two hour parking on Monday
through 6:00 p.m. on Saturday,
160
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,571
"except for permit 'B.'
161
00:05:31,572 --> 00:05:35,162
"Strictly no parking,
9:00 a.m. to noon..."
162
00:05:36,094 --> 00:05:37,750
It's 12:30 on Saturday!
163
00:05:37,751 --> 00:05:39,372
I'm totally parked legally.
164
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,443
She's totally
parked legally.
165
00:05:41,444 --> 00:05:43,688
The car's not being
towed for tickets.
It's being repossessed.
166
00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:50,866
Everything
all right, Bobby?
167
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:52,558
You look
a little nervous.
168
00:05:52,559 --> 00:05:54,387
Oh, no, no.
I'm fine.
169
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,907
It's just, you know,
promise me that what
you're about to see
170
00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:59,081
won't change
your opinion of me.
171
00:05:59,082 --> 00:06:00,669
Don't sweat it, buddy.
172
00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:01,877
Your place can't possibly
be messier than mine.
173
00:06:01,878 --> 00:06:03,879
Hey. It might
have furniture.
174
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,433
I doubt that.
Hey, man.
Don't worry, okay?
175
00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:07,400
We'd never judge you.
We don't care if
you're rich or...
176
00:06:09,196 --> 00:06:11,024
Really rich.
177
00:06:11,025 --> 00:06:13,406
Oh, my God.
Are you joking me?
178
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:15,270
Look at this...
Oh, my God!
179
00:06:15,271 --> 00:06:16,927
You live in a museum?
180
00:06:16,928 --> 00:06:18,447
What the hell
is going on?
181
00:06:19,862 --> 00:06:21,414
Look at that view.
182
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,002
Yeah.
It's missing one guy, but...
183
00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:24,176
Yeah.
184
00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:31,044
Nice!
185
00:06:31,045 --> 00:06:32,287
Yeah. Thanks, man.
186
00:06:32,288 --> 00:06:33,668
See,
I hit a buoy out there once.
187
00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:35,014
That's awesome!
188
00:06:35,015 --> 00:06:36,878
Here. All right.
189
00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:40,433
Trick here is to thread it
between that building
and that building.
190
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:41,779
Little drop.
I can do that.
191
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:45,473
Low and slow.
Here we go,
here we go.
192
00:06:45,474 --> 00:06:46,715
Uh-oh.
193
00:06:46,716 --> 00:06:48,061
Damn!
194
00:06:48,062 --> 00:06:49,925
Shanked off the Hancock.
195
00:06:49,926 --> 00:06:52,169
Yeah. Let's pack it up.
196
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:53,446
Okay. Yeah. Okay.
We're done.
197
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:54,828
Okay. We're done.
198
00:06:56,761 --> 00:06:58,210
Unbelievable.
199
00:06:58,832 --> 00:07:00,142
Unbelievable!
200
00:07:00,143 --> 00:07:02,386
Either you have
an amazing real estate agent,
201
00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:06,355
or I'm seriously
misinformed about
what reporters make.
202
00:07:06,356 --> 00:07:07,978
Well, I get a bit of a deal.
203
00:07:07,979 --> 00:07:10,187
My grandfather owns
the apartment, so...
204
00:07:10,188 --> 00:07:11,809
Dudes,
have you seen
the bathroom?
205
00:07:11,810 --> 00:07:13,224
It's gigantic.
206
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:15,675
It's got one of those
full-on marble urinals,
the big kind.
207
00:07:15,676 --> 00:07:17,297
It's okay if I
pee in it, right?
208
00:07:17,298 --> 00:07:18,438
Knock yourself out, man.
209
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,578
Dude, sweet pad, man.
210
00:07:21,579 --> 00:07:22,855
You should put
some Cubs posters up.
211
00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:24,097
You know,
class it up a bit.
212
00:07:24,098 --> 00:07:25,996
Is that an original Cezanne?
213
00:07:25,997 --> 00:07:28,239
Yeah, I think so.
Good eye, Kenny.
214
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,378
I read the name.
215
00:07:29,379 --> 00:07:30,656
Hey, why do you
have a picture
216
00:07:30,657 --> 00:07:32,347
of President Carter
kissing a baby?
217
00:07:37,629 --> 00:07:38,698
Seriously?
218
00:07:38,699 --> 00:07:40,562
Dude, who are you?
219
00:07:40,563 --> 00:07:42,012
I'm nobody. I'm nobody.
220
00:07:42,013 --> 00:07:45,774
The apartment has
been in the family
for a really long time.
221
00:07:45,775 --> 00:07:48,743
You have a picture
with a president.
222
00:07:48,744 --> 00:07:50,607
Okay, okay.
223
00:07:50,608 --> 00:07:52,747
Well, we kind of own
the whole building.
224
00:07:52,748 --> 00:07:55,819
And a bunch of
other buildings, too.
225
00:07:55,820 --> 00:07:59,409
Wait. There's
a Newman Medical Center
in Rogers Park.
226
00:08:00,341 --> 00:08:02,032
That's you?
227
00:08:02,033 --> 00:08:03,171
Dude, your family's loaded.
228
00:08:03,172 --> 00:08:04,966
When were you
going to tell us?
229
00:08:04,967 --> 00:08:06,692
I don't know.
When do you tell people
that kind of stuff?
230
00:08:06,693 --> 00:08:09,004
The very second you meet.
"Hi, I'm Bobby.
231
00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:10,834
"Please don't be put off
by my fabulous wealth."
232
00:08:10,835 --> 00:08:13,940
I think I went
to college on
a Newman grant.
233
00:08:13,941 --> 00:08:15,321
Thanks.
234
00:08:15,322 --> 00:08:18,013
That urinal is seriously,
like, six feet tall.
235
00:08:18,014 --> 00:08:19,877
I couldn't go.
It's too intimidating.
236
00:08:19,878 --> 00:08:21,914
All right, urinal.
237
00:08:21,915 --> 00:08:23,502
Let's see what you got.
238
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,813
Challenge.
239
00:08:24,814 --> 00:08:26,471
Why is he going?
240
00:08:29,198 --> 00:08:32,200
How come no one at the bank
is answering the phone?
241
00:08:32,201 --> 00:08:34,720
Well, it's 2:00 a.m.
Maybe they're at lunch?
242
00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:36,584
Oh, my God!
243
00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:39,828
Stephanie, sweetie,
I'm sure it's a mistake, okay?
244
00:08:39,829 --> 00:08:41,210
It's no mistake.
245
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:44,524
I'm overdrawn. I'm in debt.
Oh.
246
00:08:46,284 --> 00:08:47,387
Well, maybe I can
help you out.
247
00:08:47,388 --> 00:08:48,457
I can lend you
a little money.
248
00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:50,288
Yeah? Really?
Yeah.
249
00:08:51,392 --> 00:08:53,946
Could you lend me $5,000?
250
00:08:53,947 --> 00:08:56,189
You're $5,000 in debt?
251
00:08:56,190 --> 00:08:57,984
No!
How in debt are you?
252
00:08:57,985 --> 00:08:59,192
I don't know if I
should tell you.
253
00:08:59,193 --> 00:09:01,125
You freaked out at $5,000.
254
00:09:01,126 --> 00:09:04,439
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'll be cool, okay?
255
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,166
I won't freak out.
256
00:09:08,686 --> 00:09:10,549
I'm $22,000 in debt.
257
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,102
Oh, my God!
258
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:14,276
Stephanie!
Hey, you don't get
to freak out, okay?
259
00:09:14,277 --> 00:09:15,830
I'm the one with the problem.
260
00:09:15,831 --> 00:09:17,314
Oh, my God!
261
00:09:17,315 --> 00:09:18,764
P.J., I don't know
what I'm going to do.
262
00:09:18,765 --> 00:09:20,629
Okay. Okay, okay.
263
00:09:21,181 --> 00:09:23,182
Okay, listen.
264
00:09:23,183 --> 00:09:27,186
After college, right,
I had some
financial problems, too.
265
00:09:27,187 --> 00:09:29,947
You know, it's a long story,
and I won't
trouble you with it.
266
00:09:29,948 --> 00:09:33,779
But the point is,
I worked my way out of it
and I know you can, too.
267
00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:35,608
Wow. I never knew.
Oh, yeah.
268
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:36,920
So, you were
in the same boat?
269
00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:39,647
And I paddled my way out.
270
00:09:39,648 --> 00:09:42,097
And tomorrow,
I'll introduce you
to my captain.
271
00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:43,478
He's amazing at being frugal.
272
00:09:43,479 --> 00:09:45,930
He will totally
turn your boat around.
273
00:09:46,965 --> 00:09:48,587
Andy?
274
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,967
He's a life raft.
275
00:09:49,968 --> 00:09:51,591
Okay, you have to stop that.
276
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:55,628
That shavasana was great.
277
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,044
I could feel
the toxins just
melting off me.
278
00:09:58,045 --> 00:10:01,670
I gotta be honest.
That last set of
asanas kicked my ass.
279
00:10:03,982 --> 00:10:05,396
There's my husband Gary.
280
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:06,813
Hey, sweetie.
281
00:10:08,815 --> 00:10:11,506
This is Mike, my yoga buddy
I've been telling you about.
282
00:10:11,507 --> 00:10:14,543
Oh! This is Mike?
Yeah.
283
00:10:14,544 --> 00:10:16,166
Hey! Thank God.
284
00:10:17,789 --> 00:10:20,066
It's just that I keep hearing
about "Mike from yoga class,"
285
00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:23,104
and I was worried you were
some young, hot guy,
you know,
286
00:10:23,105 --> 00:10:25,002
who just comes to
pick up the girls.
287
00:10:25,003 --> 00:10:29,006
Whoa, was I way off.
288
00:10:29,007 --> 00:10:32,113
Anyhoo, someone just bought
another mall today.
289
00:10:32,114 --> 00:10:34,184
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, right here.
290
00:10:34,185 --> 00:10:37,083
Hey! Who wants
to come celebrate? Huh?
291
00:10:39,155 --> 00:10:40,673
Nah, I'm good.
292
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:43,642
You sure?
I gotta go.
293
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,369
Catch my bus
or I'll miss my train.
294
00:10:56,276 --> 00:10:57,932
His family is
incredibly wealthy.
295
00:10:57,933 --> 00:10:59,278
Richer than God.
296
00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:00,555
You should see
his apartment.
297
00:11:00,556 --> 00:11:02,246
It's huge.
It's got a sick view.
298
00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:04,491
Oh! Don't even get me
started on that urinal.
299
00:11:06,907 --> 00:11:08,183
Hey. You all right, buddy?
300
00:11:08,184 --> 00:11:10,151
Dark days.
I was at yoga class
301
00:11:10,152 --> 00:11:11,877
and this girl's
husband showed up.
302
00:11:11,878 --> 00:11:13,879
Did you roll out your mat
and outstretch him?
303
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,535
Dude, it's not funny!
304
00:11:15,536 --> 00:11:17,158
This dude
thought I was a joke.
305
00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:19,712
I never felt more
emasculated in my life.
306
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,610
I've finally been
exposed for what I am.
307
00:11:21,611 --> 00:11:24,234
An unemployed chump
who hangs around
married women in his pajamas.
308
00:11:24,235 --> 00:11:25,373
Yoga pants.
309
00:11:25,374 --> 00:11:26,546
Pajamas!
310
00:11:26,547 --> 00:11:29,895
I got a matching top.
I gotta get a job.
311
00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:31,517
Hey, guys.
Hey!
312
00:11:31,518 --> 00:11:33,105
Hey, moneybags.
313
00:11:33,106 --> 00:11:35,935
Well, well, well.
314
00:11:35,936 --> 00:11:37,834
I take it you heard?
Yep.
315
00:11:37,835 --> 00:11:40,181
So, how long you gonna grin
and stare at me?
316
00:11:40,182 --> 00:11:42,252
For a little bit.
Me, too.
317
00:11:42,253 --> 00:11:44,772
But when I look at you,
all I think about
is your urinal.
318
00:11:44,773 --> 00:11:45,945
You know,
for a small donation,
319
00:11:45,946 --> 00:11:47,222
we could name
the baseball team
320
00:11:47,223 --> 00:11:49,017
the Bobby Newmans
instead of Steve's Collision.
321
00:11:49,018 --> 00:11:50,191
I'm just saying.
322
00:11:50,192 --> 00:11:51,295
Hey, leave him alone.
323
00:11:51,296 --> 00:11:52,952
I wouldn't know,
but I'm sure being rich
324
00:11:52,953 --> 00:11:54,574
comes with its
own set of problems.
325
00:11:54,575 --> 00:11:56,197
Oh, yes.
326
00:11:56,198 --> 00:12:00,166
Do I want to drive
the red Rolls
or the blue Bentley today?
327
00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:03,376
It's so difficult to find
a decent helicopter pilot.
328
00:12:03,377 --> 00:12:04,688
Oh, yes.
329
00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:08,865
You guys, believe me,
330
00:12:08,866 --> 00:12:11,971
I often wish my
family didn't have
all this money, okay?
331
00:12:11,972 --> 00:12:13,904
Money just screws people up.
332
00:12:13,905 --> 00:12:18,253
My dad? He never held a job,
he never had
a long-term relationship,
333
00:12:18,254 --> 00:12:20,014
he's been in
and out of rehab...
334
00:12:20,015 --> 00:12:22,292
I mean, he's a smart guy,
335
00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:26,159
but access and entitlement
completely stunted him.
336
00:12:29,507 --> 00:12:30,887
Did you have
a butler growing up?
337
00:12:30,888 --> 00:12:32,923
I always thought
it would be cool
to have a butler.
338
00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:35,167
Like Arthur,
where he takes care of you
when you're drunk.
339
00:12:35,168 --> 00:12:38,860
Like Alfred for Batman.
That would be really cool.
He was smart.
340
00:12:38,861 --> 00:12:42,208
What's Robin Leach like?
Is he like...
341
00:12:42,209 --> 00:12:45,798
You guys,
as much fun as this is,
Jeff is locked out.
342
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,351
I gotta go.
343
00:12:47,352 --> 00:12:49,906
I'll catch you later.
344
00:12:49,907 --> 00:12:54,013
Hey, guys, if Bobby's so rich,
why does he have a roommate?
345
00:12:54,014 --> 00:12:55,808
Did any of you guys meet Jeff
the other night?
346
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:56,878
Nay.
Negative.
347
00:12:56,879 --> 00:12:58,811
Not I.
348
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,744
But we've never met
Julie either, so...
349
00:13:00,745 --> 00:13:03,506
Funny. You know,
I scoured that place.
350
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,991
Bobby lives alone.
351
00:13:07,683 --> 00:13:09,097
You think he
made him up?
352
00:13:09,098 --> 00:13:10,479
Rich people
are bonkers.
353
00:13:15,622 --> 00:13:17,174
Meredith.
354
00:13:17,175 --> 00:13:18,349
Andy?
355
00:13:19,902 --> 00:13:21,352
Sorry. Habit.
356
00:13:22,905 --> 00:13:25,907
Okay, Stephanie,
you're in debt.
357
00:13:25,908 --> 00:13:28,185
It's bad,
but we can fix it.
358
00:13:28,186 --> 00:13:30,325
The first step is
we have to get you
359
00:13:30,326 --> 00:13:32,397
in touch with
a debt counselor.
360
00:13:35,987 --> 00:13:37,781
His name is Lance
and he's great.
361
00:13:37,782 --> 00:13:40,508
He got Meredith back on track
and saved our marriage,
362
00:13:40,509 --> 00:13:43,752
which, in retrospect,
may have been
an opportunity missed.
363
00:13:43,753 --> 00:13:45,754
We also have to
make sure you don't
accrue any more debt.
364
00:13:45,755 --> 00:13:46,859
You know how we do this?
365
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,965
Cut up my credit cards?
Yeah.
366
00:13:48,966 --> 00:13:51,969
Oh! I bought a new pair
just for the occasion.
367
00:13:54,454 --> 00:13:55,937
Tough crowd.
368
00:13:55,938 --> 00:13:57,456
Okay.
369
00:13:57,457 --> 00:13:59,216
No more shopping.
370
00:13:59,217 --> 00:14:01,632
No more magazine
subscriptions.
371
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,945
No more cable TV.
No trip to Italy.
372
00:14:03,946 --> 00:14:06,672
What? No!
373
00:14:06,673 --> 00:14:08,399
Believe it or not,
that's not helping.
374
00:14:10,194 --> 00:14:11,780
Andy,
375
00:14:11,781 --> 00:14:13,921
let's just put a pin in Italy
376
00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:16,578
and Stephanie and I will deal
with that one later, okay?
377
00:14:16,579 --> 00:14:19,651
Fine. Pin in Italy,
'cause here's a big one.
378
00:14:21,205 --> 00:14:23,862
You have to give up
this apartment.
What?
379
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,657
The rent is way too high.
You can't afford it.
380
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:27,900
You don't need it.
381
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,177
You don't know
what I need.
382
00:14:29,178 --> 00:14:31,662
I know you don't
need 50 pairs of shoes.
383
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:34,596
Weekly manicures?
A $40,000 car?
384
00:14:34,597 --> 00:14:38,186
I know you don't need
to spend $300 on
a pair of jeans.
385
00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:42,329
And no, I'm not
gonna spend 2,000 bucks
on a Labradoodle, Meredith.
386
00:14:47,645 --> 00:14:49,232
Okay, okay, okay.
Here's one.
387
00:14:49,233 --> 00:14:52,442
"Cozy studio apartment
in quaint garden setting."
388
00:14:52,443 --> 00:14:53,857
"Cozy" and "quaint"?
389
00:14:53,858 --> 00:14:56,860
That means tiny, damp
and an old lady died here.
390
00:14:56,861 --> 00:14:59,587
I was thinking more
along the lines of this.
391
00:14:59,588 --> 00:15:01,451
Yeah, okay.
See, that means big
392
00:15:01,452 --> 00:15:03,936
and expensive and
you can't afford that.
393
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:06,456
Stephanie,
why do you need two bedrooms?
394
00:15:06,457 --> 00:15:08,285
We return from Italy,
395
00:15:08,286 --> 00:15:11,392
me and my mystery man
are madly in love,
396
00:15:11,393 --> 00:15:13,014
he moves into my apartment,
397
00:15:13,015 --> 00:15:15,499
we convert the second bedroom
into an office
398
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,847
and launch a business
importing designer
candies and chocolates.
399
00:15:18,848 --> 00:15:20,642
So, what if none
of that works out?
400
00:15:20,643 --> 00:15:23,335
Don't "what if" my life away.
I'm 28.
401
00:15:23,336 --> 00:15:25,716
The plan is to be married
by the time that I'm 30.
402
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:28,616
And as far as career goes,
I'm this close to
being senior editor.
403
00:15:28,617 --> 00:15:31,791
And you know what?
If all those things
work out, that's great.
404
00:15:31,792 --> 00:15:34,173
I'm just saying...
405
00:15:34,174 --> 00:15:36,727
Why not appreciate
what you have right now, huh?
406
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:39,868
You know? I mean,
it is okay to live in
an affordable apartment.
407
00:15:39,869 --> 00:15:45,184
We're not even 30,
and we have time to
have the rest of our life.
408
00:15:45,185 --> 00:15:47,463
Yeah,
but don't you want to know
how it turns out?
409
00:15:49,258 --> 00:15:52,019
No, I don't.
410
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:55,125
You know,
I'm having a blast right now.
411
00:15:55,126 --> 00:15:57,127
You're a big part
of that blastiness.
412
00:15:57,128 --> 00:15:58,991
Well, I want you
to remember that
413
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,097
when we're
eating ramen noodles
and taking the bus.
414
00:16:01,098 --> 00:16:03,133
In baseball,
you recognize
that it's not about
415
00:16:03,134 --> 00:16:05,584
the next game or
even the next inning.
416
00:16:05,585 --> 00:16:07,172
It's about the moment.
417
00:16:07,173 --> 00:16:11,210
Because every pitch,
every outfielder's
adjustment has meaning.
418
00:16:11,211 --> 00:16:13,731
Hell, that's why
the game is so fun.
419
00:16:18,494 --> 00:16:20,116
Hey, guys.
Nobody make plans
for Sunday, okay?
420
00:16:20,117 --> 00:16:21,496
We're helping Stephanie move.
421
00:16:21,497 --> 00:16:25,052
Oh, I'd love to,
but I'll be having
a bad back on Sunday.
422
00:16:25,053 --> 00:16:26,329
Hey, guys.
423
00:16:26,330 --> 00:16:27,675
Hey, Bobby.
424
00:16:27,676 --> 00:16:29,090
We're helping Stephanie move
on Sunday, okay?
425
00:16:29,091 --> 00:16:31,230
Yeah. Cool. I'm in.
Great.
426
00:16:31,231 --> 00:16:33,612
Maybe you can invite
your roommate Jeff.
427
00:16:33,613 --> 00:16:35,717
Um...
428
00:16:35,718 --> 00:16:38,720
Yeah, I could ask.
429
00:16:38,721 --> 00:16:40,515
All right, I'm just gonna
come right out and say it.
430
00:16:40,516 --> 00:16:42,207
The guys and I were talking.
431
00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:43,863
Jeff doesn't add up.
432
00:16:43,864 --> 00:16:47,177
What do you mean?
Dude, we know that
Jeff doesn't exist.
433
00:16:47,178 --> 00:16:50,215
And don't take
this the wrong way,
but you're super-crazy.
434
00:16:50,216 --> 00:16:52,010
Yeah, man.
Making somebody up,
435
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,701
I mean,
that's pretty out there.
436
00:16:53,702 --> 00:16:54,771
And he should know.
437
00:16:54,772 --> 00:16:56,324
Julie exists!
438
00:16:56,325 --> 00:16:59,879
So does Santa.
All right, guys.
Come on. Bobby.
439
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:03,814
You guys, I'm sorry.
I know this seems strange,
440
00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:08,785
but I had to hide
the fact that I was rich
and Jeff helped me do that.
441
00:17:08,786 --> 00:17:09,993
Um, I don't understand.
442
00:17:09,994 --> 00:17:11,408
Why did you
need to hide that?
443
00:17:11,409 --> 00:17:13,962
Because people act strange
when they know you're rich.
444
00:17:13,963 --> 00:17:15,688
They treat you differently.
445
00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:17,759
And it's hard to tell
whether somebody likes you
446
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,244
or they like your money.
447
00:17:19,245 --> 00:17:20,417
Come on, man.
That's ridiculous.
448
00:17:20,418 --> 00:17:22,419
I'm back!
449
00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:24,042
And I got a plan
to get me out of unemployment
450
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,560
and back into the work force.
451
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:27,424
I brought some
wings from Chili's
to help us celebrate.
452
00:17:27,425 --> 00:17:28,701
Oh, great. More meat.
453
00:17:28,702 --> 00:17:30,358
Speaking of wings, airplanes.
454
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:31,946
Speaking of airplanes, money.
455
00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:33,085
Speaking of money,
Bobby.
456
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,397
What?
457
00:17:34,398 --> 00:17:36,330
My cousin told me about
this business proposition,
458
00:17:36,331 --> 00:17:38,401
and evidently,
it can't lose.
459
00:17:38,402 --> 00:17:42,750
You ready?
You give me $5,000
and we buy a plane.
460
00:17:42,751 --> 00:17:45,373
It'll have four passengers,
two flight attendants,
and one pilot.
461
00:17:45,374 --> 00:17:47,444
All we gotta do
is sell the seats.
462
00:17:47,445 --> 00:17:49,964
Once we sell...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're buying an airplane?
463
00:17:49,965 --> 00:17:52,484
It's not a real plane.
It's a metaphor plane.
464
00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:55,003
Once we sell four seats,
we become flight attendants.
465
00:17:55,004 --> 00:17:56,419
You're worried
about being emasculated
466
00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:58,145
and you're going to become
a flight attendant?
467
00:17:58,146 --> 00:18:00,699
Who soon will be a pilot.
468
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,977
I don't think I want
to be on any plane
you're piloting.
469
00:18:02,978 --> 00:18:04,910
It's not an actual plane.
Still.
470
00:18:04,911 --> 00:18:06,567
I'd buy a seat
on your plane.
471
00:18:06,568 --> 00:18:09,673
Thank you, Andy.
Can I have some
tomato juice and a pillow?
472
00:18:09,674 --> 00:18:12,780
Mike, I'm not interested
in a pyramid scheme.
473
00:18:12,781 --> 00:18:15,508
It's not a pyramid scheme.
Wait. Is it?
474
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,130
Oh.
475
00:18:19,753 --> 00:18:21,685
You see?
This is exactly
what I'm talking about.
476
00:18:21,686 --> 00:18:23,101
I don't have any money.
477
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,826
It's my family's money.
478
00:18:24,827 --> 00:18:26,242
And when I got
out of college,
479
00:18:26,243 --> 00:18:28,071
I decided that I was only
going to live off of
480
00:18:28,072 --> 00:18:30,004
what I earned,
and I do that.
481
00:18:30,005 --> 00:18:31,419
Except for your apartment.
482
00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:33,421
Well, it was empty.
483
00:18:33,422 --> 00:18:34,526
And it's free.
484
00:18:34,527 --> 00:18:36,286
And it's close to the L.
485
00:18:36,287 --> 00:18:39,807
And I do pay for cable.
The point is, I don't
want my family's money
486
00:18:39,808 --> 00:18:41,705
because all it
seems to have done
is screw them up,
487
00:18:41,706 --> 00:18:44,052
and I didn't want you guys
to know about the money
488
00:18:44,053 --> 00:18:46,848
because it seems to screw
my friendships up, too.
489
00:18:46,849 --> 00:18:49,368
Okay? So, that's why
I left the other night,
490
00:18:49,369 --> 00:18:53,855
and that is why
I made up Jeff.
491
00:18:53,856 --> 00:18:57,031
Hang on.
That time that you
left the Cubs game early
492
00:18:57,032 --> 00:18:58,998
'cause Jeff was
in an accident...
493
00:18:58,999 --> 00:19:01,346
I had
a Newman Foundation meeting.
494
00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:03,071
And that time
you wouldn't let me
crash at your place
495
00:19:03,072 --> 00:19:05,108
'cause Jeff's cousin
was in town?
I'm sorry, dude.
496
00:19:05,109 --> 00:19:06,972
I didn't want you
to see my place.
497
00:19:06,973 --> 00:19:09,975
And the time I invited you
to Savannah's play?
498
00:19:09,976 --> 00:19:11,149
I didn't want to go.
499
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,288
I respect that.
500
00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:13,461
It wasn't bad.
501
00:19:13,462 --> 00:19:15,256
She really came up
that second night.
502
00:19:15,257 --> 00:19:17,189
How about this.
How about you tell us
503
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,053
one "being rich
is awesome" story,
504
00:19:19,054 --> 00:19:22,263
and I promise
we'll never tease you
about being rich again.
505
00:19:22,264 --> 00:19:25,991
Really?
One awesome,
rich-guy story?
506
00:19:25,992 --> 00:19:27,095
Yeah.
507
00:19:27,096 --> 00:19:28,304
Um...
508
00:19:28,305 --> 00:19:31,410
Okay. My 16th birthday.
509
00:19:31,411 --> 00:19:33,793
Bowling party at
the White House
510
00:19:34,483 --> 00:19:36,001
with the Clintons.
511
00:19:36,002 --> 00:19:37,623
I made out with Chelsea.
512
00:19:37,624 --> 00:19:41,317
Seal sang me Happy Birthday
and I got a Porsche.
513
00:19:41,318 --> 00:19:42,766
What?
514
00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:44,148
Oh, my God!
515
00:19:44,631 --> 00:19:45,632
Wow!
516
00:19:46,944 --> 00:19:48,704
Guys.
Wait a minute.
517
00:19:49,878 --> 00:19:50,878
You're lying.
518
00:19:53,571 --> 00:19:57,850
In baseball,
it's refreshing when a player
who's making millions
519
00:19:57,851 --> 00:20:01,406
shuns all of the trappings
and plays purely for
the love of the game.
520
00:20:01,407 --> 00:20:02,648
Wait, that was 26.
521
00:20:02,649 --> 00:20:04,098
That was 26.
522
00:20:04,099 --> 00:20:05,411
Now it's
kind of a thing...
523
00:20:07,827 --> 00:20:10,001
How come I gotta
go backwards?
524
00:20:11,796 --> 00:20:13,970
Lift. Lift.
525
00:20:13,971 --> 00:20:16,835
Come on.
All right, guys, that's
the last of it, I think.
526
00:20:16,836 --> 00:20:18,354
So small.
527
00:20:18,355 --> 00:20:19,838
It's cozy, okay?
528
00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:22,600
And more importantly,
it's affordable.
529
00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:27,673
Did I just spot Mr. Seat 32B,
direct to Milan?
530
00:20:27,674 --> 00:20:28,881
How great can he be?
531
00:20:28,882 --> 00:20:29,986
He lives in this building.
532
00:20:29,987 --> 00:20:31,367
Stop!
533
00:20:31,368 --> 00:20:33,058
Hey, by the way,
534
00:20:33,059 --> 00:20:35,233
you said after college
you got into
some debt, right?
535
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,304
Oh, yeah.
You don't even
want to know.
536
00:20:37,305 --> 00:20:39,065
Yes, I do.
537
00:20:39,686 --> 00:20:40,687
Um...
538
00:20:41,688 --> 00:20:43,517
Seven.
Thousand?
539
00:20:43,518 --> 00:20:44,759
No.
540
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,451
Hundred?
Yeah.
541
00:20:46,452 --> 00:20:47,797
We weren't in the same boat!
542
00:20:47,798 --> 00:20:50,040
I played with your boat
in my boat's bathtub.
543
00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:51,697
Well, it freaked me out.
544
00:20:51,698 --> 00:20:53,561
I come from
a very frugal family.
545
00:20:53,562 --> 00:20:54,838
Yeah, well,
when we go to Italy,
546
00:20:54,839 --> 00:20:57,393
I'm gonna make you
buy a $700 purse.
547
00:20:57,394 --> 00:20:59,878
Well, it was a little tight,
but we fit it all in there.
548
00:20:59,879 --> 00:21:01,707
Thank you, guys,
so much.
549
00:21:01,708 --> 00:21:03,226
Oh, hey.
I was gonna
order some pizza
550
00:21:03,227 --> 00:21:05,264
while you start
unpacking the boxes.
551
00:21:05,885 --> 00:21:07,195
Wait.
552
00:21:07,196 --> 00:21:09,612
Bobby, didn't you say
your roommate Jeff
had that thing?
553
00:21:09,613 --> 00:21:11,959
Uh... Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
554
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,341
He's moving to Buenos Aires.
555
00:21:14,342 --> 00:21:17,033
So, we're having
a "farewell to Jeff"
party tonight.
556
00:21:17,034 --> 00:21:19,138
I told him
you guys were coming.
557
00:21:19,139 --> 00:21:20,243
Affirmative.
558
00:21:20,244 --> 00:21:21,348
Gotta go.
559
00:21:21,349 --> 00:21:22,418
Absolutely.
560
00:21:22,419 --> 00:21:24,248
Peej, are you going?
561
00:21:26,112 --> 00:21:28,078
Yeah.
562
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,288
I can help you
for a little while,
but, I mean, it's Jeff.
563
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,737
How can you say no to Jeff?
564
00:21:32,843 --> 00:21:34,258
You can't
say no to Jeff!
565
00:21:35,397 --> 00:21:36,605
Nice kid.
41495
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