All language subtitles for My.Boys.S01E16.Ethics.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

I think that we all,
as human beings,

try as best as we can,
if given the choice,

most of the time,
or at least sometimes,

to be, if possible, ethical.

You know, we'd save
enough energy to light
more than 2.5 million homes

if we all just
used one of those

energy-efficient
light bulb things.

You mean
the six of us?

No, I meant everyone
in America.

I don't know
everyone in America.

So much for that plan.

Hey, Peej.

Hi, guys!

Hey, what's up, Steph?

Kenny.

What are you doing here?
It's poker night.

Believe me, I try to
avoid you on all nights,
but I came bearing news.

Check out who
my magazine chose

as one of Chicago's
50 sexiest bachelors.

It's really... It's not
that big a deal, okay?

Come on. Why didn't
you tell us about this?

It's embarrassing.

Well,
I won't fight you there.

But come on,
this is awesome.

It is,
and he should be honored.

And did I mention
there's free booze?

Yeah, Thursay,
Aubrey Whiskey

is throwing a promo
party at the Panda Bar.

Sweet. Oh, we are
totally going.

Oh, there'll be
a ton of women there
hoping to glom on

to one of the sexy
bachelors.

But we're not one of them.

Nope, but we know one.

So, we hover
around Brendo all night,
and when the moment's right,

bang.
Bang.

We swoop in to snag
his drunken cast-offs.

"Daddy,
how did you meet Mommy?"

"Well, dear, Mommy
was a drunken cast-off."

Yeah, see,
she wanted to go home
with Uncle Brendo that night,

but Daddy was
in the right place
at the right time.

Daddy, do you think
I can be a drunken
cast-off some day?

Dare to dream, sweetie.
Good night.

Every job has its
own set of ethics.

In journalism, your job
is to report the facts,

just get the story,

and above all,
don't insert yourself
in the story.

Dougan.
Welcome to the Cubs.

Let's talk about
your big first
start tomorrow, huh?

P.J. Franklin,
Sun-Times.

I know who you are.

Really?
Yeah. Press conference
at spring training,

you asked me
why I had no control
of my fastball.

Sorry. It's going to come up
when you hit six batters
in three innings.

Flattered you remember, though.

Well, you're hard to
miss in a clubhouse.

Thanks.

So are you, even though
you're wearing the same thing

everyone else is.

Well, that's why
we're all numbered.

Anyway, hi.

Bobby Newman
from the Tribune.

Yeah.
I'm a reporter, too.

Well, nice
to meet you, Bob.

So, P.J., did you want
to maybe ask some
questions or something?

I don't know,
I just figured,

since we're here...
Questions, yes.
Of course.

So, what do you like most
about being a Cub so far?

Playing at Wrigley.
I mean, I just feel
pitching off that mound

makes me feel stronger.

Yeah, you seem stronger,

more sure of yourself.

Are you flattering me now?

Because I'd be
flattered if you were.

Are you saying
you'd be flattered
to be flattered by me?

That's flattering.

Well, that almost
seemed like an interview.

Damn, I have to go.
I have to do a meet-and-greet

with a few of
the owner's friends.

Hey, which tie goes better
with over-scrutinization?

Wow.
You just pulled out, like,
a seven-syllable word.

Yeah, but it was hyphenated,
and I think I made it up.

Point made.
You better go
with the stripes.

You're a little disappointed,
aren't you, about the
made-up word?

Uh... A little.

What?
Just the whole thing.

So, these are Chicago's
sexiest bachelors?
Yeah.

You know, Bobby,
you're actually as
hot as these guys.

You should be
on this list.

Well, I'm not,
so, you know...

Mike's right,
you got these guys
hands down.

How come you're
not on the list?

Um, I don't know.

Well, you should be.

You're a good-looking man.

Okay, thanks, fellas.

Peej!

That's the guy over there,

number 26,
Chicago's sexiest
union plumber.

Wow, that's...

But plumber, really?

Thought you would
have gone for, like,
sexiest doctor or attorney.

You know,
someone in
a higher bracket.

P.J., union plumber.

Oh, hot damn, go get him.

Pointing at
Mark Meisinger?

Maybe.

I know him.
Went to Y camp with him.

Good guy.
Really? So,
what do you think?

Could you
introduce me to him?
No, no, no, no, no.

Why not?

'Cause then I'd have
to recommend you and...
No, no, no...

Come on, Kenny!

What more of an in
do you want?

You work for
the damn magazine.

I know,
but it's always better
to have a personal vouch.

Damn! I gotta go.

Number 13 got his head stuck
in his limo's moon roof.

Sexiest brain surgeon,
my ass.

Hey, hey!

'Tis true, 'tis Trouty,
'tis Trouty, 'tis true.

What's up, 312?
LB's all around.
Pound it.

Okay.

Explode it.
Drill it.

Hey, buddy.
Finesse it.

Never quit.
What are you
doing here, Trouty?

How do you like me now?

You're number 16?

"Chicago's
sexiest party man-boy."

"Trouty appears
at every party

"and hip happening
in the city,

"and just as
a trout changes his colors
to match his surroundings,

"Trouty seamlessly fits in
the myriad social
ponds of Chicago,

"and that, dear readers,
is how Trouty got his name."

That's the third version of
how Trouty got his name

I've heard in the last year.

Hey, sporting life,
what number sexy are you?

I'm not on the list, Trouty.

What? Interrabang?

What happened?
Do you photograph puffy?

Were you having
a bad hair day?

Although, you do kind of
actively pursue that.

I'm fermisht
ampersand flummoxed.

Actually, Brendan
is on the list, so...

What number sexy are you?

Uh, 37.

Slam.

Oh, man, that's cool.
I mean, the important thing

is that you're all
up in there swinging.

I guess.

All right, gentlemen,
I'll see you over
at the free-gift-bag table.

Hey, if any of you don't
want your witch hazel,

holler!

Wow, this whole
thing seems...

Greatly diminished now?

Yeah, we all
felt the shift.

Free whiskey,
empty hands.
What the hell?

Hi.

Hi.

Wow. What are
you doing here?

Number 25.

Cubs' press office
at work, I guess.

Not my choice, trust me.

No, seriously,
I don't belong
in this group.

Sure you do.

Okay, um, Bobby.

He belongs on this list.

I am not on the list, okay?
I'm sorry, but evidently,

being sexy is not one
of my best qualities,
so, everyone, just back off.

Well, um...

I was on my way to the bar.

Would you like
to get a drink?

I got a game tomorrow.

But you know
what I do want?

Pancakes.
I will see if they have them.

Don't bother,
already asked.
Come on.

Come with me.
Oh. Uh...

I'm new in town.

I need someone to
show me where to go.

I know I shouldn't
insert myself in the story,

but what if that story
has striking blue eyes

and a jaw line
that can slice cheese?

Wait, so he asked
you out for pancakes?

Good move,
which I'm stealing.

And you said no?

Dude, I cannot
date him, okay?
He is a Cub.

All right?
That is breaking
like a ton

of unwritten
journalism rules.

Unwritten rules
were meant to be...

written.
Then broken.

Written, then broken.

Thanks, Kenny,
I got a little lost there.

Dude, she can't
and she shouldn't.

She's supposed to
report the story,
not be in it.

Plus,
he's a professional athlete.

I mean, from what I've heard,
they're not the most
monogamous bunch.

Well, no, no,
he doesn't seem
like a pig.

I mean, he does seem
like a really nice guy.

And let's not forget,
he's numerically way
hotter than Brendan.

12! He's 12 hotter.

I don't like it.

I don't know.
This doesn't end well.

You've actually
never met him.

What are you talking about?

I know him.
He's on my fantasy team.

He's breaking my heart
and he'll break yours, too.

All right, look, there's
this black-tie party
for the magazine thing

at the SkyView Room
this weekend,
so I'll chat him up

and see if he's a good guy.
Yeah.

Is that the
private party?

Yeah, yeah,
I was going to blow it off,

but it's
the kind of thing that
Colleen might dig, so...

Hold it.
You're taking
your girlfriend

to a party where the hottest,
richest women in Chicago

will be throwing
themselves at you?

What's wrong with that?
Dude, you don't
bring sand to the beach.

Look, Mike,
I'm dating Colleen, okay?

I want to bring Colleen.
I'm fine.

You're a dolt.

This is a totally
unique situation.

No one would blame you
if you took a little
Colleen break.

In fact, I volunteer to be
your non-threatening wingman

to help you sort through
all the potential ladies.

Don't take Mike.
Take me.

I'm even less threatening.

Wow, what a sad competition.

Oh, damn, I gotta go.

I gotta get
fitted for my tux.

Hey, hey!

I so knew you'd
all be in here, man.

You guys are as predictable
as the back of my hand.

What's up, Boo-boo?

Hey, I think I know why
you didn't make the list.

You don't have your
own personal scent.

Hey, Brendan,
wherever you're going,

I'll show you
how to get there.

Sure.

Let that soak in.

Man, if I could just
get into that party,

I would kick some ass.
Charming cocktail
conversation,

consuming finger foods,
but not too much.

This is my wheelhouse.

Weird,
I always thought watching TV

in your underwear
was your wheelhouse.

Mike-Mike-bo-bike,
you want to come
to the party?

Yeah.
Done. You, my friend,

are Trouty's plus one.

Really?
You're not bringing a date?

Dude, you don't bring Dasani
to Niagara Falls.

I like it. Dude!

Hi.

Hey, Steph,
what you doing here?

Well, I'm about
to disgust myself.

You always do.

Excuse me.
Have you met this yet?

Trouty.

It's okay, baby,
Daddy's got you.

Steph!
Where was I?

Oh, disgusted,
that's right.

I wanted to
know if you wanted
to be my plus one

to the Chicago Magazine party
if, but only if, you promise

to introduce me
to Mark the plumber.

No. I will not be
your pawn. No, ma'am.

I don't like this
any more than you do,

but you want to
go to that party,

and I have a ticket, so...

Steph, I thought
I was your plus one.

I don't like this
any more than you do.

Well?

I'm about to disgust myself.

Okay.
Great!

Well, if you guys
are going, then I'm in.

How? You don't
have a ticket.

Well, Bo-bike,
here's the deal.

I keep my old
wedding tux in my trunk.

If I'm running
late to something,

I slip into it and
speed like a maniac.

If a cop pulls
me over, I say,

"Hey, I'm late for
dinner with the mayor,"

or, "I'm hosting
a roast of Dennis Farina."

Tips his hat, I'm on my way.
The tux is magic.

Hey, I tracked you down.

Hi, Matt.

How did you know
I would be here?

I asked around.

Word on the street
was this was your
regular hang-out.

Predictable.

These are my friends.

Hey, guys.
Hey, I'm Mike.

Can I get anyone anything?

How about some
more strike-outs?

We're all good,
but P.J. is empty.

Done. Be back in a few.

Okay.

Wow.

He is pursuing you actively.

I can't believe
he showed up here.

He did research.
How cute is that?

Peej, your beer
might be heavy.

You should go
help him with it.

Oh, come on,
that's a little bit obvious,
don't you think?

He searched you out
and unabashedly

cornered you
on your home turf.

Oh, Matt!

Ethics is often
the battle between
what you want to do

and what you should do.

For instance, a pitcher might
want to throw a fastball

at a batter's skull,

but, ethically, he's
pretty sure he shouldn't.

Hey, I was wondering...

Do you want to
make me really happy
and come with me

to this stupid
Chicago Magazine party?

Which would make
it so much more fun.

Want or should?

And I don't mean to keep
calling in this marker,

but you do still
owe me some pancakes.

Well, I know how
"should" feels, so...

Okay.

...let's try "want."

Hey, Franklin.
How's tricks?
Hey.

Tricks are fine, Jack.
How's things?

Oh, the gout's
receding a bit.

Thanks for asking.

Hey, I got a story for you.

The great Jack Brisco
is giving a lowly
beat writer a story?

Come on,
what's the catch?

Oh, it's not a news story,
it's a story story.

You know,
when you recount something
that happened in the past.

All right.

You ever heard
of Barb Sikowski?

No.

Well, she was
an up-and-coming reporter

trying to move
into sports.

You know, and back then,
there were no women
sportswriters.

Halcyon days, really.

Anyway, you know,
she started to date a Cub.

So, the players,
the manager, the coaches,
the other sportswriters,

they all
started looking at her
a little differently.

"Hey," you know,
"just another
baseball floozie."

So, her career plummeted,

and she wound up editing the
"Can You Find This?" page

for Highlights Magazine.

So, why are you
telling me this?

Well, no reason.
Just telling a story.

Just keeping alive
the oral tradition.

Good luck, kid.

All right, let's find
the S.S. Brendan

and start scraping
off the lady barnacles.

Hey, Mike-Sharona,

why are you even
wasting your time
with number 37,

when you got
number 16
on your wing?

I'm 42% more juicy.

Nice math, Trouty.

Illinois All-State
Mathlete, 1994.

Good evening.
You got in!

The tux worked.
The tux always works.

One slight improvement, though.

I've added the clipboard.

Makes me look like
I'm in charge of something.

Hey, you!
Yes, sir.

Okay, get out of here.

It's going to
be a good night.

Hey, hey,
number 16 up in this!

Hey!
Hello!

Look who's here.
Hi!

I'm just going
to run her coat
over to the coat room.

Oh!
I'll be right back.

Thank you.

I thought you
weren't going...

But I did,
so shut it.

Hey, there's Brendan.
Brendo!

Hey, guys.

Congratulations!

Wow. Uh, what are
you all doing here?

Well,
everyone kind of figured out
various ways to get in,

and, ta-da,
here we all are.

Hey, where's Colleen?
Oh, uh, she, uh...

Hey, there's Bobby.
Why is Bobby here?

Oh, hi, guys!

Um...

Hi.

Hold on.

Bobby's here with Brendan.

He's Brendan's plus one.

Oh, my God.

You totally lied
about bringing Colleen.

You chose Bobby
over all of us?

Excuse me.
Hey, guys.

Can we get
a few shots?

Sure, absolutely.

Let's do it.

What a douche.

Where the hell
is Brendan?

I have a ton of
questions for him.

Where the hell
is that Mark guy?

I have a ton
of... for him.

Please don't.

Maybe he had to
go snake a drain.

No, it's a real thing.

Hold it.
Hot plumber at 11:00.

Let's do this!

How do I look?

Like someone
a plumber would date.

It pains me to
spend time with you.

Well, I'm so glad
you came out with me.

And none of the guys
believed me

when I said we were
going out tonight.

Oh, what do you mean,
what guys?

You know, Barrett
and Dempster and D. Lee.

Oh, you mean, the Cubs.

Well, they were just saying
you've turned down everybody,

so I'm touched.

Mmm. Yeah.

Hi, guys.

No one questions
a thing.

I got a bus boy
putting a case of this

in Meredith's Astro van
as we speak.

Sweet.

Hey, Matt,

can I get a pic of you
and your girlfriend?

Yeah, sure.

Um, what's this for?

Chicago Magazine.

You're from
the Sun-Times, right?

Uh... Yes, but...

Here we go.

Smile.

I know, "sexiest,"
who's to say?

I mean, it's so hard
to put your finger on "sexy."

Oh, I guess it's not.

Hey, there you blow,
Mike-a-Schevitz.

Lost you in the field,
my apologies.

Gots to dance with
the one who brung you.

What's wrong,
baby, you can't count?

Number 16!

I spotted Brendo.
Come on!

So, we won't take
pictures together.

Let's just have a drink
and go back to having fun.

No, I can't.
I'm so sorry.

I just...
I shouldn't have even
come here tonight.

It's just, I gotta
protect my reputation.

There's so many
ethical questions

that come with
a reporter dating a player.

P.J., I don't mean
to sound too dramatic,
but this doesn't happen.

We both met
someone we really like,
and we're done?

Come on. A job's a job.

Not for me, not this job.

I just...

It has to be just business
with you and me.

And it sucks,
but that's what it
has to be right now.

Well...

What if we just
lied to everyone
and snuck around in disguises

and spoke with, I don't know,
Ukrainian accents?

You know, I did that once.

I so can't do
a Ukrainian accent.

Are you sure about this?

Yeah.

Okay.

I get it.

Stupid ethics.

Tell me about it.

I gotta be at
the Park tomorrow, so...

Yeah.

See you there.

P.J., we're going to
nail Brendan. You in?

Um...

Yeah, okay.
What's going on?

You're pissed
at Brendo.

Brass knuckles?

Too much.

You okay?

I will be.

Take five, guys.

Where do you
think you're going?

Uh...
We were just going to...

have a smoke.

I didn't know
you smoked.

Hey, let's all join them.
Let's all join them
and suddenly start smoking.

Yes!
I'm in.

All right.

I could blow
some trees right now.

Apparently,
smoking is sexy.

So, what gives?
Yeah, let's start
with the lying.

Hey, I didn't
lie per se.
I just...

That is such
an awesome feeling.

I think... I don't...

I might throw up.

Look, it's kind of obvious
Brendan wanted
a hotter wingman

to make him look good.

Thereby doubling
his odds at scoring.

Look, I mean,
I just...

Brendan, that's so icky.

And come on, Bobby.

What? He just asked me.

Well, of course
he asked you,
look at you.

You're adorable.

Those dimples.

That cute little grin.

Can we just stop
all of that, please?

Gentlemen,
it's not Boo-boo's fault
that he's all hot.

Genetics roll their dice,
they takes their chances.

Sometimes you walk
away from the table

looking like
a young Harry Hamlin.

Yeah, and why
are we yelling at
cute little Bobby

when Brendan
blew us off?

Yeah,
you're the one that lied!

I think this
is my floor.
I don't think so.

Going up.

Okay, everyone,
I lied.

I'm sorry.
And you're right,
I was really dumb

and pathetic
and weak...

I'm not a chick
picker-upper.

I thought your wingman
stuff was true, so...

Sorry.

Brendan, that's lame.

I know. Especially
since it didn't work.

Thanks to you.

And Brendo,
I guess to be fair,

you did take my advice
and acted like a douche bag.

And that feels
good in here.

So, people do things
they shouldn't do,

whether it's for ego,
or temptation,
or money.

Kenny, why didn't you tell me
that Mark has a fiancee?

You never asked.

And quite often,
it's for fun.

But when they do
the right thing,
the ethical thing,

ultimately, it feels good.

Boy, you were still
throwing pretty well.

You think Piniella
pulled you too soon?

I don't know.
I probably could have
gone another inning,

but why burn things out
this early, right?

Okay, guys, unless
there's anything else...

I'm good, thanks.

Or that's what
I'm telling myself.

That and,
"He's not that cute,"

and, "He probably
collects his toenails."

Hey, one more thing
about that Barb Sikowski
person.

She was an enormous drunk
and she had the vocabulary
of an eight-year-old.

So, that might have been
why her career tanked.

But you never know.

Hey, kid.

Drink?

Several.