Original subtitles

Spring in Chicago is so full of life and energy and promise,

like the beginning of a new baseball season.

It's exciting, and anything is possible.

We survived the unforgiving winter,

and now we get to watch the boys of summer.

There can be so many changes in the off-season.

I mean, some teams get a new ballpark.

Some teams pick up new players.

Some players decide to get a new look,

or train to get in better shape.

Come on! Let's want it!

We gotta get it! Come on! Excuse me...

Sometimes a player gets traded and has to adapt to a new environment.

Sometimes a player has to adjust to other changes,

like learning how to play a new position.

Or sometimes, you come back in the spring with the same old roster.

But if it worked last season, then why mess with it?

Because with spring, everything that was old is new again.

And who knows what will happen?

Wait, it takes you how long to get home now?

Forty-five minutes with no traffic, which never happens,

so about... Hour and a half.

That's horrible.

Hey, so if it gets late and I gotta crash,

is your guest room available to me?

Sure. I mean...

With a reservation and plenty of notice.

Brendan never has to jump through those hoops.

Hmm.

No.

Hey, how's Brendan's new girlfriend?

Colleen. She's good. She's a person.

Wait a second. I thought Brendan said he was moving out

because he needed to be alone for a while.

Yeah, that's what he told me.

Okay, well, I think that's everything, so...

You know, thanks, as always.

Go on. Are you kidding?

You know you're always welcome, Bren.

Yeah.

You don't have to leave. No, I do.

Just gonna move in a new direction.

Just be on my own.

Just being alone, you know? That's what I need.

I guess being alone doesn't mean sleeping alone.

But you know Brendan. He has to be in a relationship.

He is a serial monogamist.

See, that sounds bad, but it's not.

I wonder if I'm a serial monogamist.

No, I'm trapped.

Hey. What a day. What a day.

I haven't stopped for a minute.

And no offense, but doing what?

What?

9:00, I walk with the girls.

Then a morning latte. I talk politics with Mark, the crazy Commie.

Then the judges, Judy, Maria Lopez, and Hatchett.

I take Barb and Rob's dog for a walk,

little on-line research for the fantasy baseball draft,

4:30 yoga, and here I am, boom! And exhausted.

Did you look for a job today?

When? When was I supposed to fit that in?

Yeah, but it's been, like, what, six months since you've worked?

But I have my freedom.

And a tan in April.

Yeah! Huh?

Tell me, fella. Is that a bronzer?

Hey, so, is it true?

Is Kenny bringing his girlfriend?

Kimmie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She plays poker and everything.

He is crazy about her.

Peej, it's Kenny. I don't care if he's happy.

Okay, well, I'm off.

Bye, poopy. Bye.

Have fun.

You guys, I'm really happy for him.

I mean, I've never heard him talk this seriously about anybody, you know?

And it's been, like, a few months.

Kenny and Kimmie. Kimmie and Kenny.

Hey! This is Kimmie. Hey.

Hi.

Kimmie, this is Andy and P.J. and Mike.

Hi. Here. I'll put this in here.

Hi, it's really nice to meet you.

Hi, it's so good to meet you.

I'll take this. Okay, get a seat. All right. Great.

Oh, my God!

You are beautiful!

I knew you'd be cute, but I didn't know you would be so beautiful.

So sweet. It's great to finally meet you guys.

Come, sit, sit, sit. Oh, come... Oh, watch out.

Thank you. Yeah.

Oh, I don't know if Kenny told you, but I work nights,

which is why we keep missing each other, till now.

Yeah. Kenny told us nothing.

About where you work.

Oh, I'm a bar manager over at the Blue Dolphin.

But we're closed for a couple of months' renovation, so...

Well, that's good timing, huh?

Yeah.

How so?

Hey, all right. Here you go.

Oh, great. Thanks, hon. You got it.

And thankity thanks.

Oh. Well, then, welcomey welcome. Oh, yeah, there we go.

Oh, no, oh, no, tickling the belly.

My God.

Bobby!

Hey, guys.

Man, these time trials today were crazy. You wouldn't believe it.

On the final lap of the entire thing...

Wow, okay. No one's even gonna pretend to be interested, huh?

Guys, NASCAR is the fastest-growing sport in the country.

This was a promotion for me.

Bobby, this is my girlfriend, Kimmie.

Kimmie, this is Bobby.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Hi. Really nice to meet you, too.

Hey! Hey, hey, let's all get up and make room for Bobby.

No, it's fine. I'm okay right here.

But you love that chair.

You love it.

What is wrong with you?

Brendo! Hey!

You guys, I'm sorry I'm late. My landlord finally sold the building.

So now I gotta find a new place to live

by, like, next week, and these new owners...

Yeah, nobody cares.

Meet Kimmie.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Hey, Kimmie.

Well, shake hands. Come on.

Or hug. I mean, she's really almost like part of the family.

It's okay. We don't have to touch.

Dude, sucks about your place. I'd say crash with me,

but my roommate, Jeff, is kind of a nightmare.

Well, dude, the guest room's free, as always.

Yeah.

You know what? I'm sure I can just crash with Colleen.

Yeah. No big deal.

Really? Yeah.

Thanks, though.

Kimmie, perhaps you'd like to use the restroom before we get started.

Actually, that's not a bad idea. Okay, P.J., where is...

Restroom. Down the hall.

Great. Thanks.

All right. Oh.

Oh, my God!

There.

Holy...

She's... Hot.

I'm speechless. First time.

So, what's Brendan going to do?

I guess stay with Colleen, who he's been dating

for, like, a minute, not that I'm judging.

Then why does this bother you? I don't know.

But when he said the other night he was going to stay with Colleen, it just...

It killed me.

Why? Are you jealous?

No.

That's...

What?

No.

Wait, did something happen between you and Brendan?

Well...

Oh, my God!

When? How could you not tell me?

Because it was nothing.

It was, like, just a kiss. It was six months ago.

Six months ago? Then what happened?

Then the next night, we went out to dinner.

You went out on a date?

No. Like, we ran into each other

in the living room, and then we ate.

So, we'll see, you know. I might get the morning drive time,

but, I mean, the whole thing's so political, so, yeah.

Of course, getting up at 4:00...

Hey, Bren, I feel like we should...

What? What?

I'm sorry. Go ahead. No. No.

More water?

Thank you.

Bren, I feel like we should...

I just got this text from Mike.

Yeah, they're all over at Crowley's,

watching the end of the football game.

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, if you wanna go, we can go.

No, no, no, no. No. I mean, whatever you want to do is...

Let's go. We can get a beer.

Or 10.

Right.

So Brendan ended the date.

No, but see, it wasn't really a date.

It kind of was.

It was just awful.

Well, obviously, you are jealous of Colleen

because Brendan rejected you, again.

And, you know, you are not some toy

he can just pull out and play with every seven years.

And I can't believe you're only telling me all this now.

No, I'm sorry. I guess I was just afraid that if I told you, you would say that...

You know, I always thought that you and Brendan would make such a cute couple.

So...

At least that didn't happen.

My favorite tradition every year

is our fantasy baseball draft.

It's very important, because after six months,

one of us is going to win a cheap plastic plaque.

So Kenny's having a baby with this girl

and he doesn't even bother telling any of us?

Guys, he's always been freakishly private about his love life, right?

Dude, freakishly private is, "I'm dating someone."

This is almost like... Got a box of fingers under the bed.

All right. Well, Andy, just how bad is the traffic?

You know, I'm... I'm just gonna put Andy on speaker. Okay?

Do you hear me?

Andy, why'd you go home first?

'Cause I had a few hours free, and I wanted to spend them all in my car.

All right, look. All we need is Kenny and we can start.

Wait. So how pregnant is she? 'Cause, I mean... She looks pretty pregnant.

I'd say she's, like, third trimester pregnant.

My chiropractor shares an office with an obstetrician.

And I'm friendly.

Wait, you guys, they've only been dating for a few months. Do the math.

Wait, so it's not his. Man, this gets weirder.

Oh, my God. What is going on with that? And Kenny never even told us?

I mean, he's weird, but this is just insane. Even for weird, insane Kenny.

Andy, Kenny's here.

Hey, buddy.

Congratulations on the baby!

Thanks. Thanks.

Although you guys know it's not mine.

I mean, I started dating her when she was already four or five months pregnant.

Oh, yeah. Where's the father?

They don't have a relationship.

I mean, she's totally single, if that's what you guys are wondering.

Yeah. It was her marital status that was confusing us.

Kenny, I'm gonna cut to the chase here.

You see a girl who's this big around with a baby in her belly

and your first thought is, "Hmm, sexy."

You're disgusting. I'm disgusting?

All right, all right, already. Let's start the draft now, okay? Come on.

I'll take Albert Pujols.

Andy, you don't have first pick.

Okay. I will take Albert Pujols.

Nice!

Fine. I will take A-Rod.

♪ Kenny loves A-Rod

Every time!

Andy, you are up.

Pujols is gone. I'll take A-Rod!

This is gonna be a long night.

All right. So, Mike, you're taking David Ortiz and...

It froze again.

See, this is why we should have done draft boards.

No, this is faster. We just need to reboot.

Dude, that's not faster. We're just not gonna finish this tonight.

Is it my turn? Then I'll take...

David Ortiz.

Okay, he was just taken and it's not your turn yet.

Oh. Is Pujols available?

No!

God, come on!

Kenny, is the computer up yet?

Yes, it's back. Brendo, you're up.

Brendan and I have always been allies.

We don't take each other's favorites.

Like, Derrek Lee's my first baseman every year, and Jeter's Brendo's guy.

Okay, I'm gonna take Carlos Beltran.

Dude, you know Derrek Lee's still available.

Oh? Is he?

And a good friend respects that.

There are certain players that stand by you year after year.

They're the cornerstone of your team.

Hey, babe. How are you?

Great, thanks.

You guys remember Colleen, yeah?

Hey. Hey, Colleen. How are you?

Hey, guys. P.J., that's a cute shirt.

Thanks.

I'll get you a little bit of this. Taking Derrek Lee?

Sure. What?

What'd I say? What? I...

Whatever I said before. I don't even...

You said Carlos Beltran.

Oh. Then, yeah. Beltran. Sure.

I'll be done in a minute, then we can go.

Okay.

Observation from the expressway.

Has anyone ever been to the Polish Museum of America at the Augusta exit?

Yes, fifth grade. They invented hot dogs. Whose turn is it, please?

Oh, man. Look, maybe we should just do this whole thing later.

But we're doing it now.

Yeah, but I mean, it's just too hard.

You know, we can do this whole thing tomorrow on-line.

But we're doing it tonight in person. That's the tradition.

Well, maybe that should change.

I mean, come on. This isn't a whole lot of fun for Colleen.

So what?

P.J., you're up.

All right. You know what? We are gonna go play a little shuffleboard.

Okay?

Yeah.

I'll take Derek Jeter.

I'm sorry. What? Oh, I'm taking Jeter.

But Jeter's my guy.

Should have picked him.

How could you do that?

And we lost Andy again.

And something bad has happened. I don't know what.

Wait. Got it.

Okay. What was the first pick?

This is ridiculous. Let's just do this all tomorrow on-line.

But tonight is the draft.

It's not worth it. This is chaos.

You know what? We're gonna go. Okay?

I made it! I'm here!

Where's everyone going?

Sometimes a new season doesn't start the way you want it to.

I mean, half the teams are gonna lose on opening day.

Hey, what is your problem? Huh?

First, you take Jeter on purpose,

and then you're rude to Colleen?

Dude!

You don't bring a date to the draft. Come on, you know that.

No. We have traditions.

You are never, ever nice to the women that I date.

Well, get better taste in women.

P.J., you know what?

Sometimes you are not the center of all of our attention, okay?

Now, I know that it's really hard for you to accept that.

Okay, that's uncalled for.

Oh, is it? Yeah.

Or is it time that you grew up

and dealt with the fact that there are other women in our lives

that we would rather spend our time with than you?

Because there are. So get used to it.

Sometimes, opening day doesn't turn out the way you hoped.

Sometimes, they lose.

Sometimes, it snows.

Man, you guys, I know it snowed, but that was great.

Like, really great.

I mean, it was just like NASCAR, except it didn't sound like...

I thought you liked NASCAR.

Well...

Hey, dude, you should ask for your job back. You know, like a demotion.

Yeah, I already did. So, fingers crossed.

Hey, did Brendan ever pick up his ticket?

No.

Yeah, and where's Kenny?

He and Kimmie stopped to pick up a tiny jersey for the baby that's not his.

Hey, who knew Kenny wanted a family this badly, huh?

Hey, guys. Hey!

I'm gonna grab a drink. Does anyone need anything?

Go easy on the non-alcoholic beer.

You've already had one.

Yeah, and boy, am I hammered.

Hey, Kenny, a little advice.

Don't ever tell a pregnant woman what to do.

Yeah. Especially when it's not your baby.

So, I can't care about his well-being?

Oh, it's a boy?

I like to think so. That's why I got him this.

You see, Kenny, when you do stuff like that,

it makes you seem like you're kind of in denial of the facts.

Like, I highly doubt Soriano could fit in that.

God! That line was too long. And this guy was so rude.

He wouldn't let me cut, even though I'm pregnant.

Didn't he know you were drinking for two?

You're hilarious. Get up.

Oh, God. I can't wait to get this thing out.

I can get back to my normal life.

Well, right. After only about 18 more years.

Thank God I don't have to wait that long.

Just, like, three more weeks.

And I am counting the days, believe me.

Yeah.

You guys don't know... You didn't tell them?

I'm having someone else's baby.

Yeah, not just not mine, not even hers. Kimmie's a surrogate.

Yeah, I'm having a baby for another couple.

Oh, okay, okay. Wow! Yeah.

Kenny, why didn't you tell us?

It's a private, personal matter.

It's Kimmie's business, and she can be sensitive.

There's the dickhead from the bar!

Excuse me, ma'am. You should not be using language like that.

You're gonna be a mother!

No, I'm not.

A surrogate, you say? That is so incredibly nice of you.

Yeah, well, plus they pay me.

This sucker's the down payment on my new condo,

with a lake view! What up!

Yeah.

Here we go.

And so then, he doesn't even show up.

I mean, no call, nothing.

I can't even remember the last time Brendan's missed opening day.

He seems awfully mad at you

for some stupid fight over some stupid baseball thing.

Oh, the truth is, things haven't been right with us since Andy's birthday.

Wait. Was Andy's birthday party the same night as the kiss?

Yeah.

You mean the night that I lost my keys

and you brought me the extra set?

Hey, what's up?

Oh, no. Your house keys?

Um...

Yeah, I got them.

Yeah, of course.

Uh...

I could bring them over.

No, it's no problem.

Yeah. Yeah, sure. I'll just be there in a few minutes.

Okay. Bye.

And you just left? You didn't say anything?

No, I guess not.

Peej, you offered to bring me the keys.

Well, I'm a nice person.

You brought me the keys because you wanted an out.

You rejected him.

Look, I didn't know what to do, okay? It was so, so strange.

But why?

I don't know! Because! Because what? Then we're dating?

We're getting to know each other?

We're gonna meet each other's friends?

I already know his top 10 favorite albums.

I know the names of all the pets he's ever had.

I know that his feet are always cold, even in the summer,

that he prefers foam pillows to feather, that he hates beans,

that when he's lying, he taps the table like he's playing drums.

Then maybe you're right for each other.

But what if we're not?

I mean, is it worth risking everything that we have to find out?

Because for us, it is all or it is nothing.

And I'm not really sure that I'm ready for the "all" part.

Then you did the right thing.

But then why am I jealous of Colleen?

Maybe you're jealous of Colleen because you know you can't be her.

I love him so much.

But I can't imagine being his...

I can't even say the word.

Ho?

What makes for a great season is not winning on opening day.

It's how you deal with the loss.

It's not the good times that make friendships.

It's how you recover from the bad.

Hey.

Hello.

I'm sorry.

I am really sorry.

It is totally my fault, and I'm sorry.

But are you sorry?

You know, I like Colleen.

And I'm happy that you're seeing her. I'm sorry I haven't shown it.

It's okay. Yeah?

All right. I'm sorry for yelling at you.

I don't want anything to ever jeopardize our friendship.

Yeah.

Me, too.

And I'll trade you Jeter.

You'll trade me Jeter?

Dude, I can't just give him to you.

I might be sorry. I'm not crazy.

Look, you'll get the better end of it. It won't be an even trade.

Yeah? Yeah.

Okay, all right. How about Pedro Martinez?

Dude, he's not playing till August. No, no, no, no.

I heard it's gonna be, like, three weeks, tops. Yeah. I'm telling you!

You are so lucky.

Hey, guys. Hey!

Hey, how you doing? Good. We're celebrating.

Bobby got his old job back.

Yeah, pay cut and everything.

And I'm helping him celebrate while traffic clears.

It's 9:00. I think traffic's clear.

It worked. Let's celebrate.

Yeah!

So, Peej, is it cool if I crash at your place for a while?

Dude, the guest room's free, as always.

Awesome. This weekend?

A big part of the new season is letting go of the old one,

forgetting the losses or the injuries,

and focusing completely on the future,

on what is possible, on the glorious summer that lies ahead.