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1
00:00:08,801 --> 00:00:11,769
The history of baseball
is filled with so many
myths and legends,
2
00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:15,531
that sometimes you wonder
what the real stories are.
3
00:00:15,532 --> 00:00:18,672
Of course,
sometimes a simple story
can take on a life of its own.
4
00:00:18,673 --> 00:00:21,192
Come on, Kenny.
The guy tried to bring
a goat into Wrigley Field.
5
00:00:21,193 --> 00:00:22,297
The goat had a ticket.
6
00:00:22,298 --> 00:00:23,953
It wasn't goat day.
7
00:00:23,954 --> 00:00:25,334
That's why he bought
a ticket. Otherwise,
he'd have got in free.
8
00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:28,993
Hey, Kenny, do you know a guy
named Freddy DiPaolo?
9
00:00:28,994 --> 00:00:31,099
Freddy DiPaolo?
That's Mexican Freddy.
10
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:32,617
He was in here
earlier looking for you.
11
00:00:32,618 --> 00:00:35,310
Mexican Freddy?
I haven't heard
that name in years.
12
00:00:35,311 --> 00:00:36,794
Who is Mexican Freddy?
13
00:00:36,795 --> 00:00:38,934
Ah, a kid I used
to shoot crap with.
14
00:00:38,935 --> 00:00:42,662
You know, back then,
if you lost your cash,
you'd take someone's dice.
15
00:00:42,663 --> 00:00:43,766
Well, Freddy
didn't like that.
16
00:00:43,767 --> 00:00:45,182
Freddy had a temper,
and he drank.
17
00:00:45,183 --> 00:00:46,666
Well, now,
one night he comes at me...
18
00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:47,805
Ah, you know.
19
00:00:47,806 --> 00:00:49,703
No, no, no.
What?
20
00:00:49,704 --> 00:00:51,740
Well, let's just say
nobody's heard
from him since.
21
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:52,879
Oh, my God.
22
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,950
I know, seriously.
What, did you kill him?
23
00:00:54,951 --> 00:00:56,089
I took care of it.
24
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,677
He kicked his ass.
25
00:00:57,678 --> 00:00:59,265
I took care of it.
What?
26
00:00:59,266 --> 00:01:00,783
Meredith!
27
00:01:00,784 --> 00:01:02,302
Hey, P.J.!
28
00:01:02,303 --> 00:01:04,270
Meredith's story
is really simple.
29
00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:06,755
She's married to my brother,
she completely
dominates his life,
30
00:01:06,756 --> 00:01:10,103
and, according to Andy,
she's the Wicked Witch
of the Midwest.
31
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:12,692
My God, P.J.,
you look great.
32
00:01:12,693 --> 00:01:13,796
See?
33
00:01:13,797 --> 00:01:15,005
Thank you.
34
00:01:16,386 --> 00:01:17,490
What are you
doing here?
35
00:01:17,491 --> 00:01:19,354
I want to surprise Andy
for his birthday,
36
00:01:19,355 --> 00:01:21,321
and I know
he loves this place,
37
00:01:21,322 --> 00:01:23,910
so I thought I would stop by
and see if it was
available for a party.
38
00:01:23,911 --> 00:01:29,122
Wow! Gosh,
you haven't thrown Andy
a party since your wedding.
39
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,882
That wasn't
really for Andy.
40
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,713
I mean, he didn't
even want to go.
41
00:01:33,955 --> 00:01:35,473
So who are you
here with?
42
00:01:35,474 --> 00:01:37,407
Oh, uh,
just, you know,
the guys.
43
00:01:38,477 --> 00:01:40,133
The poker guys?
44
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:44,103
Mexican Freddy used to
smuggle in tax-free
cigarettes from Indiana.
45
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,451
The card game?
Fat Herschel and Ducky Gills.
46
00:01:47,452 --> 00:01:50,626
Who is this girl waving at me,
and why am I waving
back to her?
47
00:01:50,627 --> 00:01:52,628
Hey, everybody.
This is Meredith.
48
00:01:52,629 --> 00:01:54,492
Hello.
How's it going,
Meredith?
49
00:01:54,493 --> 00:01:56,115
Hi!
Andy's wife.
50
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,323
Oh! Yeah!
51
00:01:57,324 --> 00:01:59,256
Hi!
52
00:01:59,257 --> 00:02:01,948
I'm finally
face-to-face with the men
who have stolen my husband.
53
00:02:01,949 --> 00:02:04,433
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry about that.
54
00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:06,332
Are you kidding?
I love poker night.
55
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,644
It's guaranteed alone time.
56
00:02:08,645 --> 00:02:11,578
Without it, I never would
have been able to make it
through Infinite Jest.
57
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,343
That's a really
long book.
58
00:02:17,344 --> 00:02:20,829
Well,
Meredith would like to have
a surprise party for Andy.
59
00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:21,899
Here.
60
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:23,970
Hey! All right!
61
00:02:23,971 --> 00:02:26,490
And, P.J., I was wondering if
maybe you could help me out
with some of the details.
62
00:02:26,491 --> 00:02:28,423
Yeah. Yeah, I guess.
63
00:02:28,424 --> 00:02:30,287
Great, then we'll
talk this week?
64
00:02:30,288 --> 00:02:32,012
And I'll see you guys
at the party.
65
00:02:32,013 --> 00:02:33,842
You got it.
Yeah, cool.
66
00:02:33,843 --> 00:02:36,120
Great to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
67
00:02:36,121 --> 00:02:38,295
So that's
the infamous Meredith?
68
00:02:38,296 --> 00:02:40,883
You guys, I've got to say,
from everything
Andy said about her,
69
00:02:40,884 --> 00:02:43,058
she's really not
what I expected.
70
00:02:43,059 --> 00:02:45,647
Yeah, I was kind of
picturing somebody with,
like, fangs and a cape.
71
00:02:45,648 --> 00:02:48,028
No, no, no.
You guys, come on.
72
00:02:48,029 --> 00:02:49,720
She's totally
putting on an act.
73
00:02:49,721 --> 00:02:51,929
You guys know what
a control freak she is.
74
00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:54,173
Now I've got to
throw a party with her?
75
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,416
Well, then I ask this.
Which would you rather?
76
00:02:56,417 --> 00:02:57,693
Plan a surprise party
with Meredith,
77
00:02:57,694 --> 00:02:59,419
or make out with Kenny
for five minutes?
78
00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:01,456
What's wrong with
making out with me?
Everything.
79
00:03:01,457 --> 00:03:04,183
I was going to
say "lose a thumb,"
but I thought this was worse.
80
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:08,048
Come on.
You guys have made out
with people weirder than me.
81
00:03:08,049 --> 00:03:09,395
I made out
with Linda Polk.
82
00:03:09,396 --> 00:03:10,844
Linda Polk,
the anchor lady?
83
00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:12,467
Yep.
84
00:03:12,468 --> 00:03:15,953
I made out with my
10th-grade English
teacher, Miss Francis.
85
00:03:15,954 --> 00:03:17,748
What?
86
00:03:17,749 --> 00:03:20,199
No! No, no, no. It was two
years ago, not when I was
in high school.
87
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,959
That would have
been totally creepy.
88
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,685
Did you call her
Miss Francis?
Yes.
89
00:03:23,686 --> 00:03:25,790
That's still
pretty creepy.
90
00:03:25,791 --> 00:03:28,137
All right.
So, uh...
91
00:03:28,138 --> 00:03:29,380
Should we tell them,
Brendan?
92
00:03:29,381 --> 00:03:31,140
No, no, no.
93
00:03:31,141 --> 00:03:32,694
Tell us what?
94
00:03:32,695 --> 00:03:34,143
It's not that
big a deal.
95
00:03:34,144 --> 00:03:35,869
Brendan and I
made out in college.
96
00:03:35,870 --> 00:03:37,940
What?
No!
97
00:03:37,941 --> 00:03:39,597
Spring quarter,
senior year.
98
00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:42,393
We're at a party
in some backyard
in some house in Evanston...
99
00:03:42,394 --> 00:03:43,567
Playing beer pong all day.
100
00:03:43,568 --> 00:03:45,052
Whoa, did you, uh...
101
00:03:45,949 --> 00:03:47,329
No!
No!
102
00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:49,262
I took off, man.
I had a paper due.
103
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,953
Lame!
104
00:03:50,954 --> 00:03:54,094
All right, wait, wait, wait.
So then you guys dated?
105
00:03:54,095 --> 00:03:57,166
No, 'cause he
actually blew me off
the very next day.
106
00:03:57,167 --> 00:03:59,203
No, I didn't.
You totally did.
107
00:03:59,204 --> 00:04:01,067
Stephanie and I were
sitting in the library.
108
00:04:01,068 --> 00:04:02,896
You walked by and said,
"What's up?"
109
00:04:02,897 --> 00:04:04,104
And then kept walking!
110
00:04:04,105 --> 00:04:06,175
No, no, no. No, no.
That's impossible, see?
111
00:04:06,176 --> 00:04:08,074
'Cause I was skiing
in Alpine Valley.
112
00:04:08,075 --> 00:04:10,110
I thought you said
you had a paper due.
113
00:04:10,111 --> 00:04:12,009
Yeah, I did.
I turned in my paper,
and then I went skiing.
114
00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:15,875
No, first you blew me off.
Then you turned in your
paper and went skiing.
115
00:04:15,876 --> 00:04:17,497
I did not blow you off.
116
00:04:17,498 --> 00:04:18,981
Why haven't we
heard about this before?
117
00:04:18,982 --> 00:04:20,224
I don't know, it...
118
00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:22,571
All right, well,
it was a long time ago.
119
00:04:22,572 --> 00:04:25,022
And then, as it turns out,
some of us have
forgotten about it.
120
00:04:25,023 --> 00:04:27,300
I did not forget
about making out.
121
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:28,544
Then how was it?
122
00:04:31,926 --> 00:04:33,963
It was cool, man,
you know.
123
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:36,516
P.J. was pretty hot
back then.
124
00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:38,553
Thank you.
Yep.
125
00:04:38,554 --> 00:04:39,933
Wait. Back then?
126
00:04:39,934 --> 00:04:41,659
You were hot
back then.
127
00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:45,560
Okay, why is everybody
using the past tense?
God!
128
00:04:45,561 --> 00:04:47,562
And besides,
that's not the point.
129
00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,218
The point is he
"what's-upped" me,
and he doesn't remember.
130
00:04:49,219 --> 00:04:50,461
That's horrible.
131
00:04:50,462 --> 00:04:51,945
And you're
saying I was there?
132
00:04:51,946 --> 00:04:54,189
We were in
the library studying.
133
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:56,640
Let me stop you right there,
'cause that doesn't
even sound like me.
134
00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:59,263
Steph, you have to remember.
You're my last hope.
135
00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:00,954
Wait a second.
136
00:05:00,955 --> 00:05:02,784
We were all in the library.
Yeah!
137
00:05:02,785 --> 00:05:05,683
And Brendan comes along,
and who does he think he is?
138
00:05:05,684 --> 00:05:07,651
Oh, you don't remember.
139
00:05:07,652 --> 00:05:09,411
No. Nothing.
140
00:05:09,412 --> 00:05:10,861
I remember being dropped
off as a freshman,
141
00:05:10,862 --> 00:05:12,276
and everything
after that is a blur.
142
00:05:13,382 --> 00:05:15,590
Oh, crappity-crap.
143
00:05:15,591 --> 00:05:16,798
It's Meredith.
144
00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:18,386
What?
145
00:05:18,387 --> 00:05:22,528
Yeah. We are having
lunch tomorrow to plan
Andy's party.
146
00:05:22,529 --> 00:05:24,046
You're coming
with me.
147
00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:26,601
No! I don't want
to meet Meredith.
What if she's mean?
148
00:05:26,602 --> 00:05:28,120
Don't worry about it.
You won't remember.
149
00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:30,501
Wait a second.
150
00:05:30,502 --> 00:05:32,020
Brendan walked
right past us...
151
00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:33,194
Shut up.
152
00:05:38,993 --> 00:05:42,030
Sometimes it's hard
to separate the truth
from legend.
153
00:05:42,031 --> 00:05:44,170
Did Babe Ruth
really call his shot?
154
00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:46,345
Were the Cubs
really cursed by a goat?
155
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,968
What's the truth about
Brendan "what's-upping" me?
156
00:05:48,969 --> 00:05:51,315
You know,
something's been bugging me
the last couple of days.
157
00:05:51,316 --> 00:05:52,903
Did Brendan put
a baby in your stomach?
158
00:05:52,904 --> 00:05:54,422
Uh-huh. She lives
with my mother.
159
00:05:54,423 --> 00:05:56,596
That's who that
little girl is.
160
00:05:56,597 --> 00:05:59,288
The one in the rock shirts
with the five o'clock shadow.
161
00:05:59,289 --> 00:06:00,945
Please forget about this.
Which part?
162
00:06:00,946 --> 00:06:02,637
The part you remember,
or the part you forget?
163
00:06:02,638 --> 00:06:04,673
The part that I remember.
164
00:06:04,674 --> 00:06:06,019
Because the part that
I forget is the part
that you remember,
165
00:06:06,020 --> 00:06:07,642
which shouldn't even
be a part to remember,
166
00:06:07,643 --> 00:06:09,609
which is why it's
a part that I forget.
167
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,922
You know, I actually
can't see Brendan
"what's-upping" you.
168
00:06:11,923 --> 00:06:14,165
Here. I will show you
what it looked like.
169
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:17,514
Bobby, you be me.
I'll be Brendan. Okay?
170
00:06:17,515 --> 00:06:19,032
What's my motivation?
171
00:06:19,033 --> 00:06:23,520
You are sitting in
the library with Stephanie,
pretending to study,
172
00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:25,487
maybe even a little
excited to see him again.
173
00:06:25,488 --> 00:06:27,731
Okay.
You're going to say,
"Hi, Brendo."
174
00:06:27,732 --> 00:06:28,904
I love live theater.
175
00:06:28,905 --> 00:06:30,043
These are great seats.
176
00:06:30,044 --> 00:06:31,769
Okay, ready?
Okay.
177
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:32,977
Hi, Brendo.
178
00:06:32,978 --> 00:06:34,703
'Sup?
179
00:06:34,704 --> 00:06:36,533
Oh, no, he didn't!
180
00:06:36,534 --> 00:06:38,293
First of all,
I don't walk like that.
181
00:06:38,294 --> 00:06:40,502
I was in the scene,
and it felt
a little false to me.
182
00:06:40,503 --> 00:06:41,848
I'm not sure I buy it.
183
00:06:41,849 --> 00:06:43,505
Of course not.
Because I was skiing.
184
00:06:43,506 --> 00:06:46,094
It's kind of fun
to think of Brendo
being a total dick.
185
00:06:46,095 --> 00:06:47,958
Thank you.
186
00:06:47,959 --> 00:06:50,409
It's also fun to think
that P.J. made the whole
thing up and is therefore
187
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,755
pitch-a-tent-on
- your-front-lawn crazy.
188
00:06:51,756 --> 00:06:52,963
Thank you.
189
00:06:52,964 --> 00:06:54,654
Both tempting choices.
I'm torn.
190
00:06:54,655 --> 00:06:57,036
You guys are going
to run this thing
into the ground, aren't you?
191
00:06:57,037 --> 00:06:58,624
Think so.
I have every
intention of it.
192
00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,349
Well, that's terrific.
193
00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:02,697
In that case,
I will be checking my e-mails
until you're all done.
194
00:07:07,634 --> 00:07:09,393
Private caller.
195
00:07:09,394 --> 00:07:11,119
I'm not picking that up.
Maybe it's Mexican Freddy.
196
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:12,431
Ooh, put him on speaker.
197
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,639
Does he sound like
Speedy Gonzalez?
198
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,434
Mexican Freddy's
really not Mexican.
199
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:19,127
Sure, just like how
they call fat guys "tiny,"
or ugly guys "handsome."
200
00:07:19,128 --> 00:07:20,887
What?
201
00:07:20,888 --> 00:07:22,268
You know what
I'm talking about, handsome.
202
00:07:22,269 --> 00:07:24,063
Look, if Mexican Freddy
wants to talk to me,
203
00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:26,548
he should find me
and then deal with me
face-to-face.
204
00:07:26,549 --> 00:07:28,654
Well, I've got to go.
205
00:07:28,655 --> 00:07:33,037
Meredith wants me to
come home and help her
shellac a jigsaw puzzle.
206
00:07:33,038 --> 00:07:35,005
Unfortunately,
that's not a euphemism.
207
00:07:35,006 --> 00:07:37,732
Hey, wait a second.
You've got
a birthday coming up.
208
00:07:37,733 --> 00:07:39,734
You haven't even talked about
what you want to do yet.
209
00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:42,219
Don't get your hopes up.
We're talking
about Meredith, here.
210
00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:44,463
The best we can hope for
is to grab a quick drink
211
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,224
at Crowley's while she's out
getting her broom waxed.
212
00:07:47,225 --> 00:07:48,640
Euphemism?
No.
213
00:07:49,538 --> 00:07:51,608
Euphemism for what?
214
00:07:51,609 --> 00:07:53,092
All right.
Good night.
215
00:07:53,093 --> 00:07:55,335
See you.
See you.
216
00:07:55,336 --> 00:07:57,959
I thought Meredith said
she liked having him
out of the house.
217
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:01,341
No, come on.
That's what she
said to you guys.
218
00:08:01,342 --> 00:08:03,205
But you all know she'll
do anything in her power
219
00:08:03,206 --> 00:08:05,173
to prevent him
from having any fun.
220
00:08:05,174 --> 00:08:08,590
So, so far, there's going
to be a karaoke guy,
a magician,
221
00:08:08,591 --> 00:08:10,385
two kegs of his favorite
imported beer,
222
00:08:10,386 --> 00:08:12,560
and it'll be open bar
from 8:00 to 12:00.
223
00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:14,285
Wow, Meredith,
that sounds great.
224
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:16,874
Kind of sounds like
you got it covered.
What do you need us for?
225
00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:20,671
I need you guys to
keep him distracted
while I set up for the party.
226
00:08:20,672 --> 00:08:23,156
I don't know,
take him to a Cubs
game or something,
227
00:08:23,157 --> 00:08:24,572
and then bring him
to Crowley's.
228
00:08:24,573 --> 00:08:27,023
Oh, my God, you know what?
I've got it.
I've got a great idea.
229
00:08:28,611 --> 00:08:30,094
Here. Let me get that.
230
00:08:30,095 --> 00:08:31,786
Please, please.
This is on me.
231
00:08:31,787 --> 00:08:34,754
You guys are doing me
such a huge favor.
232
00:08:34,755 --> 00:08:36,929
Thank you.
No, thank you.
233
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:41,347
All right, I've got to go.
I have to meet with the guy
who's making the t-shirts.
234
00:08:41,348 --> 00:08:42,969
See you Saturday night!
235
00:08:42,970 --> 00:08:45,144
Okay.
Okay, see you!
236
00:08:45,145 --> 00:08:47,215
I've got to tell you,
Meredith seems really nice.
237
00:08:47,216 --> 00:08:49,010
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
238
00:08:49,011 --> 00:08:50,183
Never had lunch
with her before.
239
00:08:50,184 --> 00:08:51,909
Maybe she's really
good at lunch.
240
00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:53,704
And she picked up
the tab.
241
00:08:53,705 --> 00:08:55,430
Oh, my God.
All it takes to win
you over is a Cobb salad?
242
00:08:55,431 --> 00:08:57,225
Are you kidding?
243
00:08:57,226 --> 00:08:59,469
If she had bought me
a piece of swordfish,
I would have slept with her.
244
00:09:05,614 --> 00:09:06,615
What's up?
245
00:09:07,892 --> 00:09:09,927
Come on,
I'm just playing.
246
00:09:09,928 --> 00:09:11,204
What are you doing?
247
00:09:11,205 --> 00:09:13,759
Just on Craigslist
looking at apartments.
248
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:14,932
What do you mean?
249
00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:16,865
You know.
Just looking.
250
00:09:16,866 --> 00:09:19,247
I mean,
eventually I've got to
get my own place, right?
251
00:09:19,248 --> 00:09:22,215
Yeah, but, I mean,
my place is your place.
You know that.
252
00:09:22,216 --> 00:09:24,355
I know, but,
you know...
253
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:25,806
Something to think about.
254
00:09:27,256 --> 00:09:28,739
Is everything okay?
255
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:30,017
Yeah. Yeah.
256
00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:32,950
All right, cool.
257
00:09:32,951 --> 00:09:36,091
I was going to
grab some dinner.
You want to come with?
258
00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:38,266
No, it's cool.
259
00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:41,234
Maiden's got this new CD out,
so I kind of, you know,
just want to get into it.
260
00:09:41,235 --> 00:09:43,133
All right.
261
00:09:43,134 --> 00:09:46,446
Myths have a tendency
to distort the truth.
262
00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:50,037
And sometimes
you're left to ask,
"What's really going on?"
263
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:57,009
Are you ready
for your surprise?
264
00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,493
Let me guess
where we're going.
265
00:09:58,494 --> 00:10:00,081
The Mars Cheese Castle.
266
00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:01,323
Yeah!
267
00:10:01,324 --> 00:10:02,911
Really?
268
00:10:02,912 --> 00:10:04,431
No. Let's go.
269
00:10:06,916 --> 00:10:08,020
All right, all right...
270
00:10:08,021 --> 00:10:09,469
This way.
271
00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:11,817
All right, this...
All right, this is easy.
272
00:10:11,818 --> 00:10:14,785
We're in Joliet at
the riverboat casino.
273
00:10:14,786 --> 00:10:18,478
Dude, we've been
walking for 10 minutes.
Joliet is two hours away.
274
00:10:18,479 --> 00:10:21,621
Can we stop at
Mr. Beef first?
Mr. Beef!
275
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,037
Okay. There's no sunlight,
a bit of an echo.
276
00:10:25,038 --> 00:10:28,109
Let me try something.
Pinocchio! Pinocchio!
277
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:30,387
Yes, we're in
the belly of a whale.
Now move!
278
00:10:30,388 --> 00:10:32,458
Are you guys
going to kill me
and just get rid of me?
279
00:10:32,459 --> 00:10:34,080
Yes!
280
00:10:34,081 --> 00:10:36,636
Ready?
Yeah! Yeah.
281
00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:38,223
Whoa!
282
00:10:44,747 --> 00:10:46,541
I've never been
to the pyramids,
283
00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:48,336
I've never seen
the Great Wall,
284
00:10:48,337 --> 00:10:51,650
but I've spent
countless afternoons
at Wrigley Field.
285
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,513
And I wouldn't
trade that for anything.
286
00:10:53,514 --> 00:10:56,552
I pulled some strings
to give you
the best birthday ever.
287
00:10:57,518 --> 00:10:58,865
Come on!
288
00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:04,317
Let's go!
289
00:11:04,318 --> 00:11:07,217
All right.
Come on, Andy!
Let's see what you got.
290
00:11:07,218 --> 00:11:09,253
Come on, baby.
Come on!
291
00:11:09,254 --> 00:11:10,359
Come on, Andy!
292
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:17,089
Come on.
What is that?
293
00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:18,642
Don't kill the guy!
294
00:11:18,643 --> 00:11:20,817
I got on the inside
of the plate, amigo.
295
00:11:20,818 --> 00:11:22,889
You want to go
put on a diaper?
296
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,000
You got it,
you got it! Go! Go! Go!
297
00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:33,484
Safe!
Out!
298
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:34,865
Are you kidding me?
Out!
299
00:11:34,866 --> 00:11:35,935
What are you
talking about?
300
00:11:35,936 --> 00:11:37,005
Don't touch me!
301
00:11:37,006 --> 00:11:38,662
You're drunk!
302
00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:40,664
You're going
back in the dugout!
303
00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:42,045
What are you, blind?
You know what?
304
00:11:42,046 --> 00:11:43,771
And dumb?
I'm not going to take this.
305
00:11:43,772 --> 00:11:45,048
He was totally safe!
You know what?
306
00:11:45,049 --> 00:11:46,671
You're an amateur.
Gone!
307
00:11:49,812 --> 00:11:52,469
I wanted to show it to you,
'cause this'll be
the last time you see it.
308
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,643
Come on, try and
get it over the plate.
309
00:11:54,644 --> 00:11:56,439
Here you go, daddy.
310
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,825
Come on, buddy! Come on!
311
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,550
Oh, my God,
are you kidding me?
312
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:07,268
Atta boy!
313
00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:08,338
Happy birthday!
314
00:13:08,339 --> 00:13:09,408
That was awesome!
315
00:13:09,409 --> 00:13:10,685
It's not over yet.
316
00:13:10,686 --> 00:13:12,238
You've still got
one more surprise.
317
00:13:12,239 --> 00:13:13,309
What?
318
00:13:25,977 --> 00:13:27,806
Happy birthday, Andy.
319
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,221
You're all right.
320
00:13:29,222 --> 00:13:31,051
That's awesome.
321
00:13:36,367 --> 00:13:38,299
Thanks a lot, you guys.
I really appreciate...
322
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,991
Hey! Andy!
What are you doing?
Get inside.
323
00:13:40,992 --> 00:13:43,856
Enough's enough.
Meredith said she wanted
me home two hours ago.
324
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,824
All right, well just
come in for one drink.
What's the big deal?
325
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:46,997
Come on, Andy.
One beer.
326
00:13:46,998 --> 00:13:48,309
Yeah. It'll only
take a minute.
327
00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:50,656
Look, she said she
wanted me home by 7:30.
328
00:13:50,657 --> 00:13:53,797
And if I wasn't home in time,
she'd find a new
daddy for Savannah.
329
00:13:53,798 --> 00:13:55,592
I don't think so.
330
00:13:55,593 --> 00:13:57,559
You know I'd love to get
a drink, but it's not worth
a custody battle.
331
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,113
Come on,
just get inside.
332
00:13:59,114 --> 00:14:00,666
It's your birthday!
333
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:01,841
Come on!
334
00:14:03,463 --> 00:14:04,464
Surprise!
335
00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:14,093
Dinner at 7:30, huh?
336
00:14:14,094 --> 00:14:15,233
Yeah!
337
00:14:28,384 --> 00:14:30,109
Meredith!
338
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,732
I've got to tell you,
you did a great job
with this party.
339
00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:35,597
I couldn't have
pulled it off without you.
340
00:14:35,598 --> 00:14:39,360
Although, I have to admit,
I was a little afraid
to ask for your help.
341
00:14:39,361 --> 00:14:40,602
Why?
342
00:14:40,603 --> 00:14:41,776
I kind of thought
you might say no.
343
00:14:41,777 --> 00:14:42,950
Really?
344
00:14:42,951 --> 00:14:44,986
Yeah, I mean,
how am I supposed to know?
345
00:14:44,987 --> 00:14:46,436
We never hang out.
346
00:14:46,437 --> 00:14:49,059
Yeah. We should
make more of an effort.
347
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:50,681
Well, I've begged Andy
to make plans.
348
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:53,132
But, you know, he just
says you're always busy,
349
00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:54,927
and I just figured
you didn't want to.
350
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:58,897
Oh, my God.
Meredith, no. I...
351
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,039
I am so sorry
he gave you that impression.
352
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,628
You know,
353
00:15:06,629 --> 00:15:08,630
we could just get
together without him.
354
00:15:08,631 --> 00:15:09,839
Really?
Yeah.
355
00:15:10,599 --> 00:15:11,668
Who needs Andy?
356
00:15:11,669 --> 00:15:12,876
Yeah. Who needs him?
357
00:15:12,877 --> 00:15:13,913
I'm bouncy!
358
00:15:16,812 --> 00:15:18,020
You married him.
359
00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:20,608
Hey, what's up?
360
00:15:20,609 --> 00:15:22,541
My God. Would you
give it a rest already?
361
00:15:22,542 --> 00:15:24,577
No, I really was just
saying, "What's up?"
362
00:15:24,578 --> 00:15:26,890
It is a commonly
used phrase, you know.
363
00:15:26,891 --> 00:15:28,788
Dude, awfully jumpy
for an innocent man.
364
00:15:28,789 --> 00:15:32,103
Yes, terribly skittish
for a man who was skiing.
365
00:15:33,173 --> 00:15:37,176
Oh, no, no, no...
366
00:15:37,177 --> 00:15:38,419
What the hell's
wrong with you?
367
00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:39,558
Nothing. No, no...
368
00:15:39,559 --> 00:15:41,560
Kenny Moritorri.
369
00:15:41,561 --> 00:15:42,976
You're a hard man
to find.
370
00:15:43,494 --> 00:15:45,115
Freddy.
371
00:15:45,116 --> 00:15:47,531
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
372
00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:49,533
Kenny, can we
speak in private?
373
00:15:56,921 --> 00:15:58,060
Oh, yeah!
374
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:03,721
Ken, let me go.
375
00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:10,382
I got sober,
and I'm going
through the program.
376
00:16:10,383 --> 00:16:13,523
I've come to you to
work my ninth step.
377
00:16:13,524 --> 00:16:16,595
I'm here to make amends.
378
00:16:16,596 --> 00:16:18,873
You know what's a funny thing
about your wife, Andy?
379
00:16:18,874 --> 00:16:21,186
It turns out
she does not feast
on human flesh.
380
00:16:21,187 --> 00:16:23,326
You don't understand.
I'm protecting you.
381
00:16:23,327 --> 00:16:25,880
She would suck
the life right out of you.
382
00:16:25,881 --> 00:16:28,124
Look what she's done to me.
I'm only 30!
383
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:29,711
She is...
384
00:16:29,712 --> 00:16:31,437
She's terrific!
385
00:16:31,438 --> 00:16:33,025
I know.
386
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:35,131
So then why have you
been saying all that
stuff about her?
387
00:16:35,132 --> 00:16:36,960
Look, it's just that...
388
00:16:36,961 --> 00:16:40,308
I don't want to admit
that I get tired at
9:30 every night.
389
00:16:40,309 --> 00:16:43,001
I mean, I love you guys,
but sometimes I
just want to be home,
390
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,486
with my daughter,
or in bed with my wife.
391
00:16:45,487 --> 00:16:46,970
Then why don't
you just say that?
392
00:16:46,971 --> 00:16:48,903
'Cause I don't want
to look like some wuss.
393
00:16:48,904 --> 00:16:51,216
So, instead, you keep
Meredith and me apart,
394
00:16:51,217 --> 00:16:52,803
you turn her
into this bad guy
395
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:55,082
so you don't have to take
responsibility for it?
396
00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:57,084
That's a fair assessment.
397
00:16:57,085 --> 00:16:59,431
Well, enough.
You've used the Meredith
excuse for too long.
398
00:16:59,432 --> 00:17:00,604
We both have.
399
00:17:00,605 --> 00:17:01,779
You're right.
400
00:17:03,263 --> 00:17:05,747
I think
you owe her an apology.
401
00:17:05,748 --> 00:17:07,715
Myths make
for nice stories,
402
00:17:07,716 --> 00:17:10,200
but at some point
you can't blame
curses or goats.
403
00:17:10,201 --> 00:17:12,892
You have to
take responsibility
for your own actions.
404
00:17:12,893 --> 00:17:14,584
So then, my sponsor said,
405
00:17:14,585 --> 00:17:17,104
"You've got to
track this cat down
and tell him you're sorry."
406
00:17:17,105 --> 00:17:18,898
So, uh...
407
00:17:18,899 --> 00:17:21,798
I'm sorry for beating
the bejesus out of you.
408
00:17:21,799 --> 00:17:23,524
You know,
I realize now that
409
00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:26,735
I was working out
my issues with my father
on your face.
410
00:17:28,530 --> 00:17:30,496
Apology accepted.
Great.
411
00:17:30,497 --> 00:17:32,051
Are we cool?
Yeah.
412
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,170
Still wish I hadn't eaten
beer and chocolate cake.
That was awful.
413
00:17:49,171 --> 00:17:51,103
Oh, hey, dude,
how did that go?
414
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,795
It's all settled, you know.
We agreed, if he wants
to come north of the Loop,
415
00:17:53,796 --> 00:17:56,005
he's got to call me
and ask for permission.
416
00:17:58,180 --> 00:18:01,079
I'm not a violent man,
but I'm a little disappointed.
417
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,183
Got a taste for blood?
418
00:18:02,184 --> 00:18:03,253
Little bit.
Yeah.
419
00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:04,772
Gentlemen.
420
00:18:04,773 --> 00:18:07,568
Do me a favor?
Give these to Kenny?
421
00:18:07,569 --> 00:18:11,813
It's my way of saying
I'm sorry for all the times
I kicked his ass.
422
00:18:11,814 --> 00:18:13,125
I thought Kenny
kicked your ass.
423
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,094
Who? Moritorri?
424
00:18:17,475 --> 00:18:20,063
Wait till I tell
Ducky Gills that one!
425
00:18:20,064 --> 00:18:21,444
He's going
to love that!
426
00:18:21,445 --> 00:18:22,929
"Oh, Ducky!
427
00:18:23,964 --> 00:18:26,173
"Moritorri kicked my ass!"
428
00:18:26,174 --> 00:18:27,553
That's rich.
429
00:18:27,554 --> 00:18:30,729
Oh, my God!
Kenny totally lied!
430
00:18:30,730 --> 00:18:31,902
Okay, wait.
431
00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,594
Do we really want to
bust Kenny on this?
432
00:18:33,595 --> 00:18:36,044
I mean, we don't really know
what the truth is for sure.
433
00:18:36,045 --> 00:18:38,496
Hell, Mexican Freddy's
not even Mexican.
434
00:18:40,464 --> 00:18:42,361
Quiet.
435
00:18:42,362 --> 00:18:45,295
What's up?
Sorry about that,
you know?
436
00:18:45,296 --> 00:18:48,885
Did Babe Ruth
really call his shot?
Who knows?
437
00:18:48,886 --> 00:18:52,578
Sometimes it's more fun
to live with the legend
than to get to the truth.
438
00:18:52,579 --> 00:18:54,201
Okay, you guys,
I was wrong.
439
00:18:54,202 --> 00:18:56,237
Meredith is
actually pretty cool.
440
00:18:56,238 --> 00:18:58,584
Man, I can't believe
Meredith is cool.
441
00:18:58,585 --> 00:18:59,896
I don't know what
to believe anymore.
442
00:18:59,897 --> 00:19:01,794
Guys, I've got
to come clean.
443
00:19:01,795 --> 00:19:03,796
I never made out
with Linda Polk.
444
00:19:03,797 --> 00:19:06,074
I did sit next to her
in a restaurant once, though.
445
00:19:06,075 --> 00:19:07,869
Well, that's almost
the same thing.
446
00:19:07,870 --> 00:19:10,838
Myths are created
by stories taking on
a life of their own,
447
00:19:10,839 --> 00:19:12,874
to the point where
the line gets blurred
448
00:19:12,875 --> 00:19:15,877
between what's fact
and what's fiction.
449
00:19:15,878 --> 00:19:20,399
I never believed
that Bobby's grandfather
was the voice of Yogi Bear.
450
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,849
I know.
Such a weird lie.
451
00:19:21,850 --> 00:19:24,404
I know, but he was
so invested in it.
452
00:19:28,132 --> 00:19:30,202
Nightcap?
453
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:31,894
Nah, I should
just get to bed.
454
00:19:32,792 --> 00:19:34,827
Hey, stop for a second.
455
00:19:34,828 --> 00:19:37,554
Okay, seriously.
What is going on?
456
00:19:37,555 --> 00:19:38,866
Nothing.
Really?
457
00:19:38,867 --> 00:19:41,386
'Cause it just seems like
458
00:19:41,387 --> 00:19:43,664
ever since we told everyone
that we made out in college,
459
00:19:43,665 --> 00:19:46,046
that you have completely
disappeared on me.
460
00:19:49,498 --> 00:19:50,465
All right.
461
00:19:53,606 --> 00:19:55,090
I've got to
admit something.
462
00:19:55,849 --> 00:19:58,955
I did "what's up" you.
463
00:19:58,956 --> 00:20:00,439
Come on! I knew you did.
464
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:01,889
I know, I know.
465
00:20:01,890 --> 00:20:04,236
Oh, man, why didn't
you just admit it?
466
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,618
Because I felt bad,
you know?
I was ashamed.
467
00:20:06,619 --> 00:20:08,654
It's such a stupid
thing to do.
468
00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:10,518
Brendo, it was a
million years ago.
469
00:20:10,519 --> 00:20:12,624
No, I know.
I know. Look.
470
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:15,351
You've got to understand
something about what happened
back then, all right?
471
00:20:15,352 --> 00:20:17,560
After we hooked up,
472
00:20:17,561 --> 00:20:18,976
I kind of freaked out.
473
00:20:20,391 --> 00:20:22,081
I mean, I...
474
00:20:22,082 --> 00:20:23,738
I wanted to pursue things.
475
00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:25,430
You know,
but I didn't know how.
476
00:20:25,431 --> 00:20:26,603
Oh...
477
00:20:26,604 --> 00:20:28,329
I mean, you were one
of my closest friends.
478
00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:30,297
You know, one of the
coolest people I ever met.
479
00:20:30,298 --> 00:20:31,368
I didn't...
480
00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:34,611
I didn't want to
ruin the friendship.
481
00:20:34,612 --> 00:20:36,234
Why didn't you
say that?
482
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:40,480
I don't know.
I was just a kid,
I guess.
483
00:20:44,139 --> 00:20:45,278
And
484
00:20:46,314 --> 00:20:48,660
the truth is
485
00:20:48,661 --> 00:20:51,008
I was really into you
back then.
486
00:20:53,873 --> 00:20:56,081
And to talk about it
was strange, you know?
487
00:20:56,082 --> 00:20:58,704
It's still strange.
488
00:20:58,705 --> 00:21:01,051
It doesn't have to be.
I mean...
489
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:03,882
You can tell me anything,
you are my best friend.
490
00:21:03,883 --> 00:21:05,987
I know, I know.
I'm sorry.
491
00:21:05,988 --> 00:21:07,403
You know, but I'm glad
we're talking about
this now.
492
00:21:07,404 --> 00:21:10,545
'Cause I don't
ever want anything
to jeopardize,
493
00:21:11,684 --> 00:21:13,650
you know,
what we have.
494
00:21:13,651 --> 00:21:15,652
Oh, God.
Nothing could do that.
495
00:21:15,653 --> 00:21:18,311
You are one of the most
important people in my life.
496
00:21:20,106 --> 00:21:21,349
You know that, right?
497
00:21:22,798 --> 00:21:23,799
Yeah, I do.
498
00:21:27,734 --> 00:21:30,184
You are never going
to let me live this
down, are you?
499
00:21:30,185 --> 00:21:32,118
No, I don't
really think so.
500
00:21:33,153 --> 00:21:35,465
Skiing? Really?
501
00:21:35,466 --> 00:21:36,984
Seriously?
Apparently.
502
00:21:36,985 --> 00:21:38,813
Totally?
Absolutely.
503
00:21:42,162 --> 00:21:44,405
The thing about
baseball myths is this.
504
00:21:44,406 --> 00:21:48,340
Whether they're true or not,
they sell
the game of baseball.
505
00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:52,379
However, the real story,
the truth beneath the myth,
506
00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:54,174
is just as important.
38033
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