Original subtitles

Who let the elephant in?

Hey, that's my wife, asshole!

Ooh... sorry, it's dark in here.

Action!

Well dad, tomorrow is the big day.

Dude, dude. Lens cap...

Alright, now we're in business.

Hey dad, it's Eliot and Quinn.

Well, tomorrow is the big day.

Re... retiring?

No more hoses, no more ladders--

- No more, you know, dalmations, fire... - Eliot.

Basically what we're saying is,

now it's just full on family quality time.

24/7... you, me, Eliot... mom.

Alright of course, except when we're doing our films.

Yeah... because we've started a film company.

Hold on, I know what you're thinking.

But this is not one of our stupid business ideas, okay.

No, this is the one. You know, in fact...

this video is gonna be the first one

we put on the web under our new logo.

Cathkart Brothers Filmworks.

It's dedicated to you, dad.

- Best fireman and the best dad in the world! - ...whole world!

Lunch!

I made your favorites, egg salad!

- Oh thanks, mom! - Awesome!

Did you boys put on sunscreen?

Actually we're all set on sunblock, mom.

Could you get us a couple of beer here, please?

- Coming right up. - Thanks, mom.

Want to do a speech for Mr. C, Mrs. C?

Oh no, no, no! I don't want to distrupt your creative mojo.

- We have plenty of creative mojo. - Come on, creative mojo.

- Really? - Do it!

- Come on...take a shot. - Jump in. - Okay.

Hurry home, Tom.

We've got a couple of smoking retirement presents for ya.

- Oh...Jesus, mom. Come on! - Gross! - Mom!

- Mom, it's disgusting! - Mom... the work.

- Hey, back to us... - I'm sorry.

Camera back here, pal. That's my mom.

- I think that's good enough, right? - Put it on the web, buddy.

- Can I offer some constructive criticism? - Sure.

That segment... wurtz!

Constructive with pizzaz.

You got to go edge here, dudes.

Think outside the box!

Cathkart Brothers Filmworks.

Dad's Retirement Video!

- Yes! - All done, yeah!

Genius retirement's present, boys.

- Happy retirement, dad! We love you!

- Scoot! Scoot! Scoot! - Wooh!

What are you doing? You fucking hell...

Totally shit.

Damn you got to be the... You gotta pay for it.

- Wasn't that adorable, Smokie? - Yeah, that felt really good.

Thanks, dad!

Let's go say goodbye.

One last slide down the pole, hon.

Go for closure, dad.

Hop that pole, dad.

Ten hut!

On behalf of Oaks Township,

and the Brotherhood of Firefighters..

Thank you, Captain Cathkart.

It's been an honor to serve.

Being a firefighter at this station, has been my life.

And now...

... I'm ready to go home.

Start the truck!

Dad... dad, wait! We're not on yet. Come on, dad.

Slow down, they're not on yet!

- Jump! Grab something. - Hold on with two hands, boys.

Is that Quinn and Eliot?

- Go. - Go!

Hiya guys, hit me with the beer. I'm not driving.

You're gonna get it.

- Hey guys. - Woo... hey Sarah.

Okay... it's some of these and er... some of these here.

My mom told me that you haven't been giving us the correct mails lately.

- Yeah, it doesn't have our names on it. - I know.

It's this new whole thing I got going on called...

"Bringing the Neighborhood Together."

You know I bet, you know you make a really nice

connection with your neighbors,

you know... when you've to bring their letters back to them.

- Right? - Right...

- See ya later, bye! - See ya!

She's the worst mail lady of all time.

No! She's just... you know, outside the box thinking.

Oh, right... right... right, outside the box thinking.

Outside the box thinking.

So now that you've got all this free time, you're gonna drag

that boat out of the garage and fix it up?

Oh yeah... yeah, in the meanwhile...

... I tricked out the den with a new recliner,

and new couch and a flat screen TV.

- You're kidding me. - And it's all gonna be...

This cheer is for you, Captain Cathkart!

- You kill it, Suzy! - Go-- Mustangs!

- Shake it up, sweetie. - Hey, you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

Tom, I couldn't help noticing Suzy hanging out with your boys lately.

- Yeah, that's great. - No, it's not great.

Suzy got her future right across this, you know.

I just can't have her distracted.

You just got to nail that cheerleader scholarship.

Gotcha! I'll tell the boys...

... she's off limit.

- Thanks, thanks. - Quinn!

Quinn!

Don't touch that... Quinn!

Quinn...

- Discharged. - Discharged No.3.

Mary! Could you get me another beer?

One second, I'll check!

That's a long way to go.

Sorry, honey. The boys must have drank it all.>

Heave!

Drink all your beers.

Yeah!

I'm coming.

Get pigs!

Years of waste.

Here you go.

Wait... woh, what the hell is this?

- It's Ninja warriors. - I was watching that.

Dad, we always get the den at night.

Well, now that I'm retired, that's over. Switch it back.

Come on dad. I mean everyone's already here.

- Hi, Mr. C. - Gilroy, get the hell of my recliner!

And take... what the hell did you do to my recliner?

Oh... my gosh!

Sir Pimp'a'lot has bladder issues.

- Well, get in there and mop it up. - I'll get toilet paper.

- Ha ha! He's so smug. - Get some disinfectant.

Pimp'a'lot, you stupid shit.

- Move over! - You're gonna love Ninja warriors, Mr. C.

Jesus, dad.

Looks like you could use a cold one.

No, thanks. I've got a hot one.

- What's this? - Bra-j, dad-o

Don't give me that Shanghai shit.

Dad, that's... that's Suzy Decker bra.

Are you telling me that you guys are having sex on my new sofa?

- Dad, there is private information. - Yeah.

Pound it, lock it, throw it away. Come back as a bird.

Very cute!

Now that I'm home, I'm telling you this right now.

There is no more banging in my den

- That's it! - Aww... dad!

- That's hard! - And tomorrow...

... you're both going out and getting jobs.

- Not this speech again. Come on. - We're not going back to Autoworld.

They have jobs, Mr. C.

Cathkart Brothers Filmworks.

As a matter of fact, now that you're retired--

we like to bring you onboard.

- Yeah! - Oh--

You're gonna bring me onboard...

to your film company,

which is headquarter in my basement. - Hmm-huh!

- Yeah? - I get internship this summer.

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow...

Which nobody can deny

Oh... that was lovely, boys.

Make a retirement wish, Smokie.

- Make it a good one, dad. - Wish the hell out of it.

I'd like to stay Pop's, but I've got a video

conference with London.

Yeah, I gotta get home and put the kids to bed.

My boys...

What did you wish for, dad?

Pleasant retirement.

With your family?

Alright bro, 'Gaze chicken' for the last beer. You ready?

- You totalled it! It's you. - It was a tie.

- Who was it again? Do it again. - He's totalled it again.

Of course with my family.

Pimp'a'lot, no. No!

I wasn't sure until today, Mary...

... but I want them out.

Man, I- I love them...

... but I want them out.

But honey...

This is where they lived and breath creative mojo.

Mary, you've got to stop drinking your Kool-Aid.

There are grown men. They should be out paying the bills,

making breads, finding wife.

Get your little butt in here.

If they were out in the real world,

we would actually be able to have sex in our bed.

It's sexy in the closet. - Not when you have to do it in the closet.

- Maybe you don't want to have sex right now? - No, no, no...

- You like, eh? - I think you do.

- I think you do... - I think you do...

Hello, mom?

- Oh, no! Wait... - No, no... Let them, let them...

Smokie, I have to go. They're...

- They... - Let them...shh! - Mom, how do you turn on the stove?

- We want to make a pizza. - Oh, no, no, no! I got to go.

Get off, Smokie. They need me.

- Mom, dad! You guys at it again? - I am here for ya! - Oh boy!

Bruised balls...

Balls that duels...

Playtime is over, boys.

Piss off, tin cat.

Cathkart! How's that first month of retirement going, capt.?

Having the time of my life.

Are we taking the RV?

Yes, I figure its just sitting around and I don't want the battery to die.

- And you're gonna drag the Jeep? - Oh... yeah!

Who's gonna worked out the engine? You know...

a little bit of... Yeah, come on!

Did you tell the boys we're going to breakfast?

No, I didn't want to wake them, so I've left them a note.

Oh! Oh... good.

Honey, you've just past the restaurant.

- What are you doing, Tom? - Just driving.

I want to know what's going on and I want to know right now!

I wanted the boys out of the house, Mary.

And the only way we're gonna get them out of the house

is we stop buttering their toasts.

We're going camping. We're going to a cabin up the Buzzard State Park

and we're gonna fish.

Stop this vehicle right now, Thomas Cathkart!

Mary, this is an addiction, taking care of the kids.

Well, are you kidding me? Are you kidding?

- Just take it as an intervention. - An intervention from motherhood?

- Best thing for you. - What, are you crazy?

Make them men, I'm telling you right now.

- We're going fishing. Mary, Mary... - My boys need me.

Mary, woh! Sweetie pie.. - I'm not doing any goddamn intervention.

Oh, baby

You know it has been so long...

Since I tasted the sweetness

I just want... I just want to touch you one time

I just want to remember what love feels like

What your love feels like

Oh baby...

Did you just put something in my mouth?

Hey, did mom and dad said they are headed somewhere?

Both the jeep and the RV are gone.

Well, it's... grocery day.

You know they probably needed them both for shopping.

Say hello to Matador.

Got 'em off a night-stand.

Play Me!

Everything is gone.

- Even the crunch berries. - Yeah!

And the fridge is empty too, except for this.

Is it porn?

- Hi, boys. - Hey, dad!

But now, you've probably realised that...

mom and I are not around.

- Yeah, we noticed. - What's up with that?

If you're wondering what's up with that...

- He said the same thing. - Weird...

... we just decided that, it was time that the two of you

faced a little responsibilities.

Urgh, not this speech again.

So, we're going to go away for awhile

until you grow up a little. How's that sound?

- Fucking awful. - Not good.

You've got a lot of things coming your way.

I just want you to know...

that we loved you very much.

If you don't want to starve,

- ... get jobs, huh!

- He's totally bluffing. - What?

Come on... okay, when is the last time mom left us alone like even

...like at all, ever?

Eliot... dial in buddy. Right here, okay.

Look at the evidences. He made a tape, alright.

He emptied the fridge, he took the cars.

That's fuck up! Alright, they're gone.

- And we're gonna need food. - We've got food.

- Alright, that's not food. - Baking and soda.

Two of the many food groups we have in this planet.

Nobody's starving here, dad.

Err, I think that's like deodarant, dude.

- Urgh... gross! - I love you, but...

... you're an idiot.

Thank you so much for bringing the ham, Gillroy.

Oh yeah, no problem. We've plenty more.

You see, mom is a total pork freak.

So, what's your dad's problem?

He wants us to become men.

Like we are not men already.

Silent... please!

I pick up this split, I'm in high-com, baby.

Okay, knock yourself out. It's an impossible shot.

- Really? - Yeah.

So if I make it, you'll crunch my nut sack?

Never mind!

Yeah, go go go.... Yeah, do it! Do it!

- Do it! - Yes!

- Lights out. - What's the hell going on?

I'm really scared, you guys.

I've got it, popsy!

She has got to give up this cheerleading, man.

Hi Quinny, Quinny bummer.

You're gonna blow me with that torch?

No Suz, we just needs this for light cause

we're having electrical problem and we thought we...

What's up with your face, chief?

I rescued a toddler from a pile of burning tyres.

What do you do today?

What ...? No, I didn't think so. What the hell do you want?

We need help.

Here's the light!

- Oh my! - Feel this ...

You guys have electrical circuit breaker?

No, dad was working alot. Mom always thought electric things were...

... too dangerous, you know?

Well, your breaker are fine. Your power shut off.

My guess is your old man finally decided to make you pay some bills.

- Feel this... - Pay bills?

- Find the treasure. - He wouldn't do that.

Yeah... he would. He totally would.

Especially lately cause he'd been trying to get us

to move out.

It's about god damn time.

Why don't you scoot into the house, pie face.

I want to have a talk with your friends.

Just a friendly little chit-chat.

Give me the bake.

You've got problems at home, I don't give a shit.

You stayed away from Suzy or I will cut you to look like a holiday bird.

Fucker is crazy!

That was so not a friendly little chitty chat.

This isn't so bad, right guys. I mean...

it's kind of like camping.

I'd offer you guys bed's at my house but...

... my parents think you guys are gay.

You can move in with me.

You lived in a tree house, dude.

You sleep on a rolled up carpet.

I'm just saying, I'm willing to share.

Thanks guys, but we're not leaving.

We grew up here. This is our homeland.

No one pushes us out.

Not even dad. And if he wants a war,

we are it!

We're warriors for the duration, right guys?

Yeah, that's fantastic but I don't think I want to go... Can we just...

Fine... go!

We don't need you anyway.

Shirtless, you coming?

- Nah, this beats my carpet. - Okay, buckle up!

Pimp'a'lot!

Poodle.

Great!

Hi!

Hi!

Beautiful day, huh?

Yeah, most certainly is.

Honeypot, I made breakfast for ya.

And I'm gonna show you something ...

... that is going to make this trip a whole lot easier.

I'm going home, Tom!

Let go of me!

- Come here! - Sucker bitch hole! I'm gonna rip your balls off.

Kidnapping fuck stick. I can't take it! I can't...

... take it!

Honey, come on...

Honey, get in the tent.

- Why don't you let me go. - Honey, honey, you could still see the boys!

Live!

What?

I want a fuck stick!

Why are we looking at this?

All that times that I was in the attic these last few weeks,

I was installing battery operated cameras in every rooms.

So that you...

could watch over the kids while we were out here.

Check them... come on. Veer a little.

Look at that. They're doing fine in the kitchen.

- They seems alright. Not in trouble. - Aww!

If they get into trouble, we'll see it.

Then we'll go back.

We're doing the right thing, Mary.

Fou us and the boys.

Why do they send us all these papers?

Because everything is overdue.

Cellphone bill, cable...

... Water.

That's crazy! Who pays for water?

We do!

Alright, we're rolling... action!

We are in the wild of Suburbdia, without any modern convienences.

Timber... that's an oversight!

Ah... Quinny Quinny bummer!

When are you gonna film me, my bitch?

I'm filming you right now, Suz

Alright... yeah. - Okay, shit in the bush. - Right... oh yeah.

- Go Shanks! - Yeah!

Cam up here. What does the book say?

The book says we should consult a professional.

Holy shit!

Having exhausted our supply of hams,

we've changed to other forms of sustainance.

Like radish, from our local weiner ware.

You left them without any food in the house?

That's it! I'm done.

- Mary, Mary... - Argh!

- Mary! - Give me that key!

- No! - Give me the key.

Mary, let's talk about this out, alright.

- Don't ... - Give me that fucking key!

Yes... okay! What's for lunch?

Pine cones?

Technically... they're nuts.

Ah...no, technically we're fuck!

We need to eat guys, for strength, okay.

I missed my carpet!

That's it... I'm done!

- What do you mean? - I mean I'm done, alright.

I'm going back to Autoworld and I'm going to get a job, alright.

Then I'm gonna make money and I'm gonna buy food with that money.

Relax, brother! Have a nut.

That's not a nut. This is a pine cone.

- Hold on, okay! - We've got nothing left.

- I smell like ass. - Relax, okay?

Let me hear you refresh! Refresh!

"Hi, I'm Quinn. Welcome to Autoworld."

"Step into the show room and let me show you our brand new gas hog."

"Okay, it's got leather and it's got airbags."

"And it's got a climate control cabin guaranteed

to smoother the last reasonable thoughts you'd in your head."

I get it, alright!

I'm just asking you to be practical, bro.

We gotta eat, right?

And to eat, you gotta have money.

We can address both those needs if we go back to Autoworld.

Wait, hold on... Hold on!

I've got a better idea.

- Lemonade! - Get lemonade right here. What kind of lemonade?

- Ice cold! - Ice cold lemonade.

- Fresh lemonade. - Hand cut lemonade.

- Step right up boys. - I don't see any damn lemonade.

Well... that's because we're selling lemonade futures.

What is lemonade... futures?

Okay, that's when you give us the money,

and we give you the lemonade in the very near future.

That's not how lemonade stand works, vagina head.

Well, that's how this one works, potty mouth.

If you guys don't like it, why don't you go back down to the playground.

Pop your little see-saw.

- Christ! - Crazy little...

- ... bastards. - Oh my god!

- Dude, plan B... so much safer. - Yeah yeah!

- Jackpot! - Yes!

- Alright! - Yeah! This gonna be good. Bro, you're up!

No, this is your idea. I don't want any doubts if you got what I mean.

It's all you.

We got a dead guy in here.

Wait, scratch that. We've got movement.

This is Binky.

One, two, three... drop it!

It's time to recycled...

... it's easy like a bicycle

We shop like Whittaker's...

We've got cans of soda

We are wise like Yoda

What that smells? It smells like nacho that gets sour

So bring on the Benjamin Franklin, baby... do it!

Saga of the crunch baby... Saga of the crunch baby...

- Total is... - Hope you can break a $20.

$340.90!

You're kidding, right?

My register never lies, bitches.

How much can we get for this?

It's unbelievable! I mean foods is freaking expensive.

I know.

How did dad do it?

Yeah... 9 to 5.

Winning everyday of his life... for 25 years.

He's smart.

Watch double financial, if you knows what I mean.

- Oh hey, guys. - Hey, Sarah.

I thought you were a mail... lady.

Yeah, my mail... you know, delivery concepts

weren't exactly embraced.

That is a shocker!

Hey, C-cup!

Yeah the dip shit in prod said you're the one responsible

for putting the George Clooney same with the Moppets.

- Is this correct? - Yeah... yeah!

- Oh it is? Oh my God, I was almost gonna fired him. - I thought ...

No... no, you know I had this idea that...

you know the elderly woman would have their own,

you know, separate section.

You know, because... you know usually they're kind of lonely,

so I thought having their own section would

somehow made them feel, you know seen.

That's so sweet!

Once again awesome! Outside the box thinking.

Who the hell are you?

Why don't you do me a favor and shut the hell up, okay.

And you... let's clarified your situation here, alright.

Tits, you're not my Maurice talking chick cause

she's got a better ass than you.

So, go inside... fix up the mess you've made,

and get your sweet little love hole back out here

and collect the fucking carts.

And I better not catch you on either 'Willy Birds' or 'Hot Rods'

getting your rocks off on the vibrating toys.

Kids ride on them, alright.

Lurch, Shrimps... shove it!

What? Damn...

That is exactly why we will never ever have a 9 to 5. - Ever!

Maybe I would not work for him if I didn't have to.

It's just that my rent is just completely sick.

- How much? - 900.

900? That's like a thousand cases of rum.

Hey! We have a room.

Yeah and for a lot less.

Where is it? Is it nice?

- Are you kidding? It has got everything. - It's awesome!

It's like the Five Seasons.

Welcome to our home!

Let the tour begin.

- Fitness Center. - Open 24 hours a day.

Hard... quick...

Eco friendly hygiene facilities.

Wheat buck paper.

The dining facilities!

What... what's that smell?

That is the healing aroma of "Home Sweet Home"

or a wet ham bone.

And this would be your sleeping facilities.

How nice!

So much nicer than the rest of the place.

Okay well, so... how much?

I think maybe like 400 ish.

Okay, but you guys need to clean up the rest of the house,

okay... I'm not pooping in a box.

That's usually pretty sure where I've to draw my line.

The shit hole is a goner, done!

Okay, I guess I need...

... damage deposit and personal insurance.

Err... actually Sarah, we're not exactly equipped to

... cash a cheque.

You don't have checking acounts?

We are opposed to all conveniences that enslaved us to

a faceless corporate world, right!

- Right? - Right.

Yeah, okay... I'll get your cash.

Okay!

- Roomy. - Roomy!

- I'm moving in. - Moving in! - She's moving in.

Look at us.

Alone...

... together.

This is exactly what our lives could be like if we just relax.

Relax?

All I ever wanted to be was a mom, Tom.

And you've taken that away from me.

You're so good to be a mom.

Even after the boys leave.

Okay...

While you go fuck yourself, I'm going to check the computer.

I hid the computer.

I'll find it.

You're my wife, why can't it be about us?

Because we are a family.

- Well, I'm going to just fish. - You fish, I'm going home.

This intervention...

... is officially over.

- Tom! You motherfucker, get me outta here! - Give me your hand.

Dude, I totally liked Sarah more now than I did in high school.

Why didn't you hook up with her in high school?

I'm cock blocked by Zerban's ...

I can't believe you got stuffed by a guy in a dress.

I'm glad to try it once more.

That is so lame. I don't even know how to respond.

Whoa... wait, wait, wait... whoa!

It's pidlocked... you've to see from the side.

- That sure is spoilt. - How did you know?

Some take a shit in the corner.

And it's really shiny.

Doing laundry sucks.

Yeah, when we think about it,

mom did it for like decades, bro.

Wait a second...

Aren't supposed to be the colors separately the whites?

No, no, no. It mades them brighter.

- Who told you that? - School.

It's tight, pink...

... like a walking vag.

Look at what the laundry did.

What are you doing?

Got to knock, man.

You knocked at the post office?

Power and water bill

Ah yes, sweet cheese... I'm doing you good.

By the power that you have.

Hi, we're looking for Sarah.

Sweet Priscilla , queen of the jungle!

Sarah Stanton, what a coincidence,

caused I just fired her tight little ass.

- What for? - She was thinking outside the box.

And when I said box, I mean her vagina, fellas.

Give it a rest, Nate.

What're you still doing here, nipple?

I had to get my last cheque.

And don't worry about rent. Okay... I have another job...

- ... line up. - Yeah, who is gonna hire you?

I want to send my condolences.

You know what, Nate? We're so lucky to have you.

"Yeah so lucky to have you..." Like you know anyway.

Like you...

Didn't finish that one. I didn't hear what you were saying.

"Like you..." what?

You and pinky tascadero here, why don't you ...

skipped on down the old lollipop lane

- you yellow fruit-cake. - He's calling you out.

Skipped on these, cheeseman.

- It's my cheese! - Oh my... yeah - Yeah!

- No! - Ride it... ride it.

That's my cheese. What the hell are you guys doing?

- You're doing crap! - My beautiful samples cheese!

Sell that cheese, sampleman.

- Hoo... yeah! Yes. - Get out!

- Wow Jesus! Suzy, are you okay? - Turncoat's now.

- Who's the skank? - Oh no... no. She's renting a room.

- She's just strictly business. - Swear upon my pony.

- Suzy, come on. Do I have...? - Swear!

Mr. Red pony, I swear she's just renting a room.

Are you going to film my cheerleading tonight?

That's not something I can do. Your dad's got this no...

- fly zone policy on you and I gotta to... - Fuck him!

We are filming tonight. It's on!

Okay, tonight. It's on.

Swear to red pony.

It's on, red pony...

... tonight.

- Thank you. - Okay.

- I'll see you at 9:00? - Yeah.

Quinny, quinny moaning.

That's me!

You two are one adorable team.

Yeah, connected at the head from day one, eh bro?

Yeah, where do you want your boyfriend at?

Oh, that's Mr. Veetles. On the bed, it's fine. He's my massage dummy.

Wait ... you into massage?

Yeah... yeah. It's kind of a fantasy that I have.

You know, I want to become a physiotherapist one day.

Cool!

God, that's fascinating. What's that job you've line up?

A receptionist gig.

Hello, can I help you?

At Autoworld.

What? Autoworld? Now you... you cannot take that job.

- Eliot, shut up! - Why not?

Cause it blows. We used to work there.

And it's not who you are. You know, you're...

you're an original thinker... you know...

... you're streaming creative mojo.

On the other hand, it is paying job. So...

- ... that's a plus. - Nah, go for the massage thing.

It's your dream, you know.

Ok well. I would've to take classes, then how would I pay you guys rent?

We'll find another rental. That's easy.

Really? You would do that for me?

- Absolutely. - Yeah, he certainly would.

Oh man, you're the best.

Oh, thank you guys so much.

I think I'm just going downstairs to get the rest of my stuffs.

- No... let me do that. - Oh no, no. I'll do it. Really...

- I mean you've done enough already. - Yeah, hasn't he?

- I'm moving in! - Hurry back.

Are you fucking high right now?

We have this whole thing perfectly set-up.

- Then you just have to go do shit. - I know.

Dude, I'll get another rental, I swear.

Hey guys.

We heard you've got the power back on.

- Yeah, and? - We'd to move ...

... into the tree house.

I was hoping...

if it's okay...

if we come back to the homeland?

Of course, you guys!

Okay cool, thanks.

Hmm, let's see what these momojo are up to?

How did they get the power back on?

Mary!

- Come back! - I tried your way.

I can't take it.

God damn it!

Nobody keeps me from my boys.

Sons, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Hon...

Be careful!

There's snake's out here.

Honey?

A ride...

Look! It's the fuck stick lady.

Can't you wait until we go home, honey?

It's sleepy time baby.

Are... are you okay, miss?

- Drive... drive! - Oops...

Had to be done, fruit cup.

'Poo Man' Action!

Stop, turn and dropped!

All right, let's shoot this thing.

One second. just one more second...

Guys, I'm sorry to interrupt.

Do you have any oil in the house?

- Oil? - Yeah, yeah... like baby oil or...

or vegetable oil. I'm doing my first practise massage on Mr. Veetles so,

Uh, I can tell you where it's not.

It's not down here in the private sanctuary.

- It's up in the kitchen. - Oops! Sorry, I'm leaving.

Hey, Sarah! Can you hold on for a second sweetie?

Hey, Sarah!

Hey would it be helpful, you know if you...

if you had someone real to practise massaging on?

- Like me here... - Aren't you in the middle of your... your poo?

- No. - Yes!

Okay, cool! That'll be a new job, thank you.

Cool!

Wooh, wooh, wooh! Hold on Romeo.

I don't get it. What're you doing? We're filming.

I think this could be pretty cool, come on.

- We're only three guys anyway. - It's not good.

It could be some poo-riffic viewing opportunities from the trampoline.

Oh, where do you guys think you're going?

Come on! No, no no...

Yeah... that's all great. Do it over here. Where are you doing?

Guys!

Come on man!

Get down! Relax, bud.

Get down. At ease, soldier!

Okay!

Come on in!

- Oh, sorry. - Oh, it's okay. I'm just setting up.

Oh my God! Am I helping?

Bring it here!

- Thank you so much for doing this. - Yeah, no problem.

Such a big help.

So, have you ever had a massage before?

Never. Why?

Oh, it's just a question I'm supposed to ask according to the manual.

Let's see what is next ...

Yeah, turn music on. Okay... check.

Give client towel and leave him or her in the room to disrobe.

Okay, there you go.

You know, I was thinking...

that if you want to think like more outside the box,

we could just have the massage with my clothes on.

- I'll go first. - Why?

... professional like so.

- Yeah but you know, my clothes are very soft... - Eliot, please!

This is very important.

- Don't be shy, it's okay! - Sorry.

Okay, so I'm going to be out in the hall, and you know,

you just let me know when you're ready.

- Okay. - Okay.

I put my towel on.

Hey!

Why?

- He's got a massage boner. - No!

I want to see! I want to see!

Get out!

Your turn.

Why? Get down!

Oh, it's big!

Cleared the pipe.

Dude, I don't have anytime.

Dude!

Go on, get out!

Maybe if I took it... damn!

Are you ready, Eliot?

Just... one more second please.

He's going 'broke-back.'

What's up bro? Don't look at me... don't look at me!

- Look, I'm coming in Eliot! - Don't stop...

Oh my God!

- Are you okay? - Yes.

- What... what's happened? - I just fell off the table ...

- There... like must be a lot of oil. - Weird.

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. God, I cannot do anything right.

No, no... it wasn't your fault. It was mine...

I was...

I was trying not to totally humiliate myself on you...

Sorry to... ruin your first ever job with my boner.

No, no. You didn't ruin my first day... no!

I mean, you know I'm sure that...

you know erection are common...

hazard... you know,

in this massage industry. So, you know...

Don't worry about it! The board looks fine.

- I'm very sorry. - No, just... no...

You know it's fine...

Is there a cure...

I can only think of one.

Okay... boobs, I'm out of here.

No wait! Hey, it's my turn! Here.

I want to see some boobs.

Boobs... boobs... boobs!

Boobies...

- Let's go! - Are you alright?

- Yeah. - Okay!

- Get in the house, Susan. - No, Dad.

I'm... he's...

Fuck!

I promised her that I'd film her cheerleading, so...

... have a good evening.

You found the computer, eh?

What're you smiling at?

I am so proud of my boys.

They're taking in rentals.

They're making money, they've foods...

and they're keeping the house clean.

I love those boys.

That's it, guys.

The gloves are off.

Eliot, open up!

- Just a minute. - Come on.

What's up, mister? Is there a problem?

Yeah Sarah, there is a problem, okay.

And it's in the form of a gigantic person

downstairs who claims he answered your ad.

I know what you're thinking...

Can she cook?

No, no... we weren't.

Do you have any references?

And he's a great guy who wanted to do the houseworks.

All he's good for is playing and cleaning.

Did I see you on "To catch predators?

Honestly, what website did you post this on?

Hi, fellow platinum members of Sky...

Oh my gosh, it's you two.

- This is awkward. - Get the fuck out of here!

I guess I go there with my mom, again.

She sort of kicked me out of her house.

She found me playing with her dog too much.

And when I mean playing with her dog,

I mean putting peanut butter on my...

Okay, enough. Get the fuck out of here, man!

- Right, I'm leaving. I've references... - Get out!

The problem is... we are unemployed.

But we can provide other services.

Please elaborate.

And how about you?

- No! - Hell no!

Oh, my head...

Dude, go locked the door. I can't see one more of this freak.

Excuse me, is the room still available?

No!

Hi!

Yeah... yeah, the room is still available.

Great, I'm Hector.

Hector, hi! Quinn.

- This is my brother, Eliot. - Hi, I'm Eliot.

- You... you got to see the room. - Thank you.

So, tell us about yourself.

I am a roofer.

I'm- I'm recently divorced.

I wanted to find a place to stay so that I could be near my kids.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that but this room will be great.

It's only $400 a month.

What we need from you is one month rent upfront

and we also gonna need damage deposit, you know, in advance.

- You're set. - It sounds great!

- Way to dial in the lingo. - Thanks!

Can I see the room?

And this is my room.

This is lovely.

I take it, as is.

Great! You can move in this afternoon if you want.

Super!

Uhm, you have any papers?

Drawing papers...?

Lease?

Oh, we're not really documents guys.

Well, I could have my office e-mail over a standard rental agreement.

- Sounds good! - You're moving in.

Quinn and Eliot, can you just put your signature there? - Okay.

- And here. - Okay!

Okay, we're done.

- Welcome to our home! - Yeah, thanks.

First thing, when we move in my stuffs in later,

I need to you to get your shit out of my room.

Err, I thought you were gonna take it as it is.

I changed my mind.

You got any mayonnaise?

Err, actually that's our food.

Provision 8 Charlie 6 of the Oaks California Rental Code clearly

states that a food under premises of the signee of the lease shall

becomes the rental's.

Now, I'm the rental, right?

Yeah.

So, where is the fucking mayo?

Bottom shelf.

This guy is a bit of a douche, don't you think?

Maybe he's just a little tense from the divorce.

Oh, this is bad ...

This is very bad.

- Holy shit! - Hector, what's the hell's going on here?

I got a splinter in my finger from your fucking couch.

Now, technically I could sue,

but I choose a less confrontational approach.

So, I bought some furniture,

which I'm deducting from the rent.

Think there gonna be a problem?

- Hey,where do you want him? - Aww, stinky poovy's.

Come here, baby.

- Yeah, he sleeps with me, my room. - Woh, dude come on... time out.

What is that?

Peruvian Mud Viper, why?

Because there's no 'Peluvian' Mud viper allowed in this house, okay.

Err, the lease doesn't say no pets,

does it?

So, I guess 'The Cock' stays, proceed.

- 'The Cock'? - That's his name, shit lips.

- Who is this douche bag? - Oh... this is Hector Fantismo,

he's Eliot new rental.

Yeah, which begs the question, what are you

mousekeeter doing in my house?

Hey, back-off Fantismo!

We're practically family.

Practically doesn't cut it, Daisy. You're tresspassing.

Take tit's and stick's and get the fuck out.

Hector, hold on!

What... I've got to quote the rental agreement to you again?

Rental shall reserved the right to refuse

visitation by any unwanted guests.

End of stories.

Get the fuck out.

Are you kidding me right now? I said we go right

back in there and high-lo this fucker.

Shh... sonny, let me try to think okay.

Excuse me,what is going on?

Shirtless boy is outside and he's crying and he's wearing a shirt.

This guy found a tenant from hell. That's what going on.

- Get off you shithead. - Get off dude.

You fuck it up again. That's what you do.

Stop it!

Just stop it!

Okay, I want you guys to know that I appreciate

everything you have done for me,

I really do but if you want me to find another job right now,

you know, I will.

It's not gonna help. We signed a lease.

So we're stuck with this guy wether you get a job or not.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Are you sure? - Totally! - Yeah!

Dude, I'll figure out a way to deal with this guy, alright.

- You are on it? - Yeah.

- As long as you do... - I will.

We good?

Come with me to get Mr. Veetles.

- Arm re-attached. - Yeah.

Nice...

You 're not allowed down here, dude.

Whatever. List of 23 maintenance infractions.

Clean ceiling vents?

- ... clogged with foreign material. - Adjust...

... water pressure?

My shower is limp.

Replaced gutters...

It rattled. Makes 'The Cock' very jittery.

I don't understand man. Like do you do anything like...

... don't you go to work, have kids to visit?

Thanks for that.

A man can't crack ass in his own house.

I'm gonna throw up!

Oh, there's my cart.

Quinny, Quinny!

- Hi! You've been avoiding me. - Hi! No, no... I--

No, I've been avoiding your father.

- Cause he's crazy. - We need to do something about it.

- It won't be pretty. - Okay...

Hey, what're you here for? What're you going to buy?

- I'm just getting some stuffs for the house. - Sounds dangerous.

- What do you need? - I've gotta get the gutter.

- Oh cool. Copper or stainless? - Which ever one is cheaper...

Seamus... A grade, 10 grade...

You actually knows all the stuffs.

Yeah wait! Did you think I was some dumb

easy cheerleader bimbo slut because,

- I'm not like that. - Suzy, you just surprised me.

That's fine, I get it. I'm kidding!

See? You just did it again.

- Take an 8th grade. - Okay.

I'm blown away. I'm totally... totally impressed.

- Thanks! - Yeah...

You know mom... when my mom died I kind of have to pick up the slack.

Oh, do you need help installing that?

Cause...

No, I mean, thank you. But I... I think there's just stuffs

I gotta learn to do it on my own.

Pretty sure it's time I learn to do all this.

Quinn, do you mind coming to my cheerleading trials on Thursday?

I just kind of wanted you to be there when I don't make the team.

Suz don't... don't do that. You're totally gonna make the team.

Must be honest with you. You're probably not gonna make the team.

But I wouldn't count on it but

doesn't matter. I'll be there, okay!

Cool!

Hey, Suzy...

I am really sorry about your mom.

Me too.

- See you Thursday. - Yeah.

Not bad eh, kitty cat?

Looking good...

That's a redo.

What's up, bro? You been fixing the sink?

No, I'm addressing the United Nations.

Why are you so snarky about?

Snarky? Because while you guys were out playing kissy face,

I got to be stuck here with Jello fuck up Fantisma.

Clear the vents yet?

I'll get to it, shitty hole.

Verbally abusing the tenant.

Should have include that in my complaint to the city.

Yo... you...

I know what you are thinking, punk.

You're thinking the second Hector turns his back,

I'm gonna take him down.

That's not going to happen. So let me tell you something.

"The Cock" never sleeps, and that allows me to sleep...

very soundly.

Why would he ever name that thing 'The Cock'?

I don't know. Why does he sun tan his penis, right? I know this though,

I live with him because of you and your genius boyfriend.

You clean the vents!

Well, well...

- It smells like rats... bad! - Dude, just get on it.

So, you want to talk about it?

About what?

About how the thing with your brother and me is bothering you?

Sarah... it's really not about you. You know?

I mean, Eliot and I've always want to do our own business.

Of the grid and totally on our own.

I won't see that get fuck-up.

Hey guys, somebody put in some "Mission Impossible" spy shit.

Bro, just do the job.

Hello, Tom... Hector coming to you live in the moose camp.

It seems you've nothing to worry about.

I'm driving these kids nut.

Inside a week, this house is gonna be yours again.

I'm counting on you, Hector.

Tom, lunch...

Hey look, guy!

What are you doing?

Whoa Eliot, what are you doing, bro? What's going on?

Oh my God!

It hurt...

Now I've just shaved my back

but I stop at the crack

Now get in your car

You can come as you are

Go... gonna make a mess

Why the hell did dad hired this freak?

He must really want you guys out.

Come on! Let's high-lo this motherfucker right now.

Quinn, dude! The guy still got a lease.

Yeah and he has got 'The Cock'

Put the stuff in my pouch So you better bring your extra dress

Fine! First we'll deal with the snake.

Then we go deal with that, alright!

Okay! I'm going to open the door. You spank 'The Cock'

We're gonna need a bigger spatula.

I got a better idea.

I'm sorry to do this to you partner, but this thing gotta eat.

Now he is your partner?

You open, we thrust, the snake chows down on Veetles, we attack.

- Nice. - Okay.

You can't miss 'The Cock'

Time for din din.

No reaction.

Let's smash his balls.

He didn't have balls.

Come on, let's tear balls. Right now.

You stupid 'Cock'

You're going down Fantismo!

You really think you can break a fireman?

Just... just tear up the lease.

What's ya blowing, braveheart.

Prepare to fire.

His cracker ass, break it!

Remove trousers!

You twisted little fuckers.

Zoom in!

Fire!

Son of a bitch!

Reload!

They know I'm your pal, Tom,

former fire inspector, Oldbert.

I tore up the lease.

I've never met two boys who want to live at home

as much as they did.

You planted Hector?

Hector is done, dad. Here is our new tenants right here.

I like them. Their parents wanted them

to move out of their house really really badly.

They gave us a year worth of rents and advances.

We got a lease and everything.

They will be using your room and your bed and

your bathroom until such time as you return.

I know this is probably gonna bug you out,

the whole bed things, hey we gotta pay the bills.

And with that we end your video coverage of the Cartkart house.

Damn it! When I was their age,

I couldn't wait to get out of the house.

Tom, you've just proven that our boys can handle

adversity of the worst kind.

Together they can conquer the world.

Come on, doesn't that make you proud?

You raised them. What does it matter if they lived at home or not.

This time we have... this is like, this is a bad night.

Honey, I know. But you know, they are gonna leave someday.

But... but just for now, just let it go, okay?

It's time to go home.

But I... I still like to ...

You said that we can go home when they grow up.

They grew up!

Go home.

Can't fight your own fight, you pussy boy.

You told Suzy I was coming down hard on you

- and now she got... - Look, Mr. Decker!

Suzy is...

Suzy is my girlfriend. Okay, there, I've said it.

And lately, I've been having some really truly legit

feelings for her, alright.

I appreciate it if I could start seeing her on a regular basis,

... sir!

Quinn, I'd no idea you have such commitment to my little girl.

No!

Oh hey, Quinn.

Look how Sarah organized the fridge.

Hey, can I get some of that?

You see all the heads we got on the lake dance?

As I can see, you're very excited, thank you.

Everytime we get the filmworks going again, you fuck with it.

What's that supposed to mean?

What does our logo say, huh?

It says Cathkart Brothers Filmworks.

Does not say Cathkart Brothers and Yoko Filmworks.

Dude, don't you get it? Sarah is going to stoke our business.

Sarah is gonna stoke our... are you kidding me?

You really buy that line of dialogue.

You're throwing your brother onto a bus.

Alright, that's what you're doing. You trade me in and I don't like it.

So she's not allowed in the sanctuary. New rule... understand.

Try smoking now, El...

Okay guys! We need something, alright.

We gotta put our heads together and...

Dude, who put that there? This is perfect!

Get away! Get the camera.

And he float right here. Get a nice tight shot.

Floating! Yeah, does it looks like I am floating? Yeah, look at that dude.

Close shot and then pull out, open a bunch of cool stuffs in the back.

Hey, what are you doing when I'm working.

Read this.

This better be an apology letter.

This be great!

Dear Eliot,

the past weeks had been the best.

I got to practise being a masseuse

and hanging with you.

But when I realized this is the best thing you guys had going

is your relationship.

That's the reason you want to be at home.

To be with each other.

And I don't want to mess that up!

You guys belong together, you are a team. Love you, Sarah.

So what? I should get all weepy and kiss your ass?

Err yeah, that would be a start.

You know what! Why don't you step out from behind your hard-on.

Take a look at what you do in business.

I'm not doing this without her.

The truth is, we don't even need you at this point.

But Eliot is our main ideas guy, Quinn.

Yeah...

Nothing we can't handle on our own, shirtless boy.

You want to break this up? Fine, go ahead, alright!

But see how far you get if you team with JJ?

- Do whatever man. - Do whatever man!

- Fuck you. - Fuck you!

I'm gone!

Eliot, we need you. We need your creative mojo.

Fuck!

Pimp'a'lot, come on!

Come back! We need you.

Sarah is not even worth it.

Bad hair, big shoes...

Eliot, don't go.

This is your home.

Would you say something?

Nice wagon, fag.

Nice... you.

It's okay, guys. Let him through.

What the fuck is this?

Paragraph 2, Niner of the Oaks, California Residential Code

states that all residents who leave the premises

with the intention of moving out, forfeit the right to all the property

they leave behind.

Ooh, how much is this?

Oh... I'm sorry, that is not for sale.

- It's mine. - You know, my dad gave this to me.

I picked it up.

Push the old lady, huh?

- Oh, you made me do it. - Oh, I made you do it?

- You're a douche! - I am a what? - Yeah, you little baggy...

Oh yeah, is that what I am? Come on say it right out, come on.

Stop it! Stop it! You're scaring all the customers.

It's a brothers thing. Stay out of it.

- Hell no, you know! - Oh no, you didn't.

What the hell is going on?

Oh my God! They're hitting each other.

Hey! Stop it! Both of you. Get up... get up.

Get off of him.

- Get up... get up! - Stop this. Come on, both of you!

Stop Eliot! Stop this instance.

You know, you shouldn't be here.

- Selling my stuffs. - I didn't sell your stuffs.

Take your stuffs, I can't sell anymore.

Shut up!

Now, everybody just calm down.

I'm going to go in the house and make us a nice casserole,

and you boys some pocorn balls...

and then, you know you guys go in and work on your video.

Stop mom... just stop, okay.

I'm living somewhere else.

Be in touch, alright?

But honey but...

What about Cathkart Brothers Filmworks?

It's over, dad.

What?

- Where are you going? - I'm going for a walk.

- Is this what you wanted, Tom? - No...

Get out of my way.

She's fierce!

What the hell are you looking at? Take a hike!

But dude, we lived here.

Hello?

Hi, Mr. Cathkart...

This is Sarah. Eliot new roomy.

Yeah, hi.

So Eliot wanted me to come by and get the rest of his stuffs.

Can I speak to him?

Actually he's at... work.

Eliot has a job?

Hey buddy... Quinn.

I need some help. Let's go.

Dad, I'm working.

Yeah, I see! Looks like it's going really well.

Come on, I need to go get a window.

You can't do that by yourself?

New rules, right? You lives here, you gotta contribute.

Now, come on. Come on... let's go!

- Thanks! - For what?

I don't know, everything. You know...

Going to work everyday, paying the bills...

bringing home the crunch berries.

All of it!

You're welcome.

Go on in... I gotta park.

What's up, Zerban?

Where is the dress?

Quinn... Oaks High, remember I was a lot

cooler than you, where you have this little dresses on...

whose lunches is always weird.

This person needs something. Get it for him.

- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here?

Help the man now.

What do you want?

Looking for a 18 x 32 aluminium slider for a

class C Ford Grande recreational vehicle.

Oh you mean dad's drive wheel?

- Cut the chit-chat! - Come on!

It wasn't my idea to come here, you know.

I know, thanks.

Hi.

I'd like to see Sarah.

Sarah!

- Hi, sorry! - Sorry doesn't impress me.

Helps the customer.

Hi. How can I help you?

We spoke on the phone. I'm Tom.

- Oh how... hello, hi! - Hi.

I'll take that apology anytime now.

Yeah, that's gonna happen.

I need a frosted paint.

That would have been useful information upfront.

Are you here to buy something?

No. I'm here to heal my family.

And if you ring that bell one more time, I'm gonna stick it up your ass.

Don't test me today, old man.

- You go ahead, ring the bell! - You want me to ring the bell?

Yeah... go ahead, Zerban.

- I will ring the bell. - Go on, ring it.

I'm so sorry, sir. The customer is always right

in my father's shop.

Give me the bell.

Is this what you want or not?

Is this what you want?

You guys, Zerban is beating up your dad.

Dad, what?

- I got high. - I got low!

What is this?

I told you, Zerban. Look at them. Join at the head.

Come on, Eliot. We're going home.

You mean like, quit my job?

Somebody got to live and breath the creative mojo, right... Zerban?

- Indeed captain. - Here you go, buddy. - Thank you.

- Let's go. - Okay.

You are not actually a dick?

Ah yes I am, but sometimes I wear the dress...

... on the inside.

All right, hand over your shirt.

Come on... come on! You're out of here.

And dry clean it so I can get it ready for the next person.

- We good? - Yeah!

You coming?

Get the fuck away from Zerban bell.

Hey mom. This is Sarah.

You two... matching outfits.

So glad you're home.

Nice to meet you, Mrs. C.

- Eliot told me so much about you - So nice to meet you.

Come in...

Tell mom to save another spot in the den.

Oh... okay!

Yeah, I'm here for Suzy.

Well, I guess that means you are ready to tangle, huh... Aunt Nancy.

What is this... 1950? I'm so over you man.

Get out of here, fuck face.

I knew I could toughen you up. Get over here.

Suzy, Quinn is here.

She's the only girl that I got left. Be nice!

I will!

Suzy! Suzy!

- Hi. - Hi!

Make a wish, smokie.

I already got my wish, honey.

Oh you did it! Whoops... oop, come on!

Be a good boy.

Surprise!

Happy Birthday!

The Back Nine!

Quinn and I pool our recycling money.

I love you, guys.

We love you, dad. Love you!

Oh, dinner on Thursday guys.

- Not too big will do, mom. - Okay!

You guys want to do some vid bowling?

- Yeah! - Hook it up!