Original subtitles

There they are.

I want the shortest, oldest horse. Oh, no, no, no. You're the tallest.

You get the tallest.

I want the white one.

Oh, dear Jesus.

Hold on, hold on.

Okay, this is very luxuriating.

Where's she going? Out to sea?

Why is hers galloping?

Love it.

Ew, that one's pooping.

Oh, my God. No way I let yours just sit on that.

Oh, my God.

I won't be swimming at this beach.

Oh, I feel pee. I feel hot pee on my feet.

Pakistan. Same woman, beautiful as ever.

This time it's hard, boy. Are you ready?

Are you ready?

Feel it.

Can you feel the island fever?

This may be my new favorite thing, doing interviews, just rolling out of bed.

I think I even have a coffee stain on my pajama.

Just

when I

walked you, just back up. Yeah.

When can I have the docket?

What the hell?

Good morning, honey.

What's the matter? Yeah, I'm in court, and I just need my computer.

Morning. How you doing?

Good and tired.

I'm definitely on L .A. time.

Are you kidding me?

Good morning. I like your jammies.

They're so comfy. Want to come sit with me?

Oh, my God.

I'm so tired and out of it, I can't tell you. Yesterday, you drank from...

10 o 'clock in the morning.

And you're not even, like, drunk.

You could roll with the best of them. I can't believe it.

Hi, good morning. It is day number three, day after my daily cue. I

am feeling like Cynthia's upset with me, and I feel bad.

I don't like that whole comparing the look.

I just don't like the physical stuff. First of all, I'm uncomfortable with

too. Who is the prettiest?

Oh, this feels weird. You can say, you know what, I pick Cynthia because... I

could never say that, though. Not only is she beautiful on the outside, she's

beautiful on the inside. I don't know.

I couldn't do that. But you kept asking her if she was mad at you. What did she

say? Like, she was annoyed by that, 100%. I was like, I don't know if this

girl's going to flip a table because that's what I'm used to.

Had some very strong opinions about last night. A little disappointed.

Who is that?

It's Lou.

Oh, Lou Anne, come in.

in my feelings a little bit hi who's there it's the countess good morning oh

god i love this yellow on you thank you i'm good how you doing

You know, I'm not doing that great today. What's going on? I'm going to

the bed.

Just jump in the bed. I'm going to jump in your bed. I'm going to walk around

with you. I've known Luann for years. She is just unapologetically who she is.

She's a free spirit. She's European.

Like, they just walk around naked, little cigarettes and stuff.

Just an easy girl to kind of hang out with. So I feel like I can talk to her

real, for real.

Last night, I was a little disappointed.

I give Kyle somewhat of a pass because I don't know Kyle.

And I always am going to respect any of you guys' point of view.

I'm a team player. I'm here to do whatever you guys want me to do. Of

But here's the thing. I came on the trip to become friends with Kyle.

I am friends with Kenya.

I hold them to two different standards. Right. I didn't want to pick either.

But I have to be honest with you, I think something pissed her off in the

beginning. She was mad at the table. I think she was annoyed with Kenya I was

picking up. But why? Why was she annoyed with Kenya? Maybe because she was late?

I don't know.

She looked pissed off to me.

Who is the prettiest? Like, everyone here is gorgeous. It's like... Okay,

they're putting out the food, and Kenya's already started eating.

I have low blood sugar.

I started this trip, Luann. It was very important to me to make sure that Kenya

was comfortable.

I did my whole thing on the plane for her. This is Brooklyn.

This is the first time Kenya has left this little girl. So, Kenya Moore, don't

use these same scissors to cut me late. Cut the call!

I was a little...

Her, that Kenya twirled into the dinner, 45,

maybe an hour, stopped counting after a while, late, strolls her ass right in,

takes her time, goes, takes her off a plate, a macaroni and cheese. I couldn't

believe that.

Macaroni and goddamn cheese. We're all the same.

Now, we've been waiting graciously. I know. You don't want some macaroni and

cheese? I did.

I know. But I wanted to wait for my...

Well, and that's also the gracious and elegant thing to do is you don't start

eating before everybody's sitting down with food.

Clack. You know that. Money came, money came. That's right.

I would say that Cynthia is a very supportive girlfriend. But Cynthia has

expectations that Kenya maybe can't deliver on. And it's a respect thing.

I'm too old and I'm too tired. You and Kenya are besties. You're old friends. I

feel like you can pull her aside and you can tell her. Oh, I'm definitely.

Pulling things aside. We're definitely having a conversation because that's my

friend. Right.

So act like I got this. And you are gracious.

All right.

Oh, you in these outfits, you always come so island ready and beautiful.

you. Love that.

Is that your potato salad?

It is.

Now I'm going to enjoy it. Take my time.

Enjoy it.

Michael, can I have some potato salad? Oh, potato salad for breakfast. I love

that.

That was good, right? I know. I'm not kidding.

It was so good.

Good morning. How are you?

Good. How are you? I'm good.

I was actually looking.

I wanted to come to your room earlier, but I didn't want to, like, invade your

space. But I really hope I did not make you feel bad last night.

I'm so sorry if I did.

You've apologized a few times, and I completely respect your point of view.

I said several times, this does not have to be mean. I'm not a mean girl. Oh, I

know you're not. That's why I don't want you to... I don't want to make anyone

uncomfortable. I changed the game several times throughout the night to

sure everybody was comfortable and basically reinvented the game just so we

could just get to...

The powerful conversations that ended up happening in the end. I know things

about you guys that I didn't realize.

No, like for me, it was just like the respect that it was my night.

I guess we're still not over this. I don't know if I accept Cal's apology or

not. All I know is I can appreciate that she's making an effort to apologize,

but emotionally, I just can't move on right now.

I mean, I thought my friends in Beverly Hills were dramatic.

This is taking it to another level.

Were you upset with Kenya last night?

That's a Kenya -Cynthia conversation.

We're good.

I'll talk to Kenya myself.

For me, it's just the support.

The barbecue.

Cynthia said this is a girl's trip and we're supposed to have fun. Well, I am

having zero fun right now.

Oh, my God. When is her court date? She said it might be now.

I just saw her walking up the stairs pretty quickly, and she said she was on

court or something. Sending good energy and vibes, girls. I don't know what it's

about. I just heard her say that. Well, she told me originally it was about her

divorce. About her divorce.

You okay?

Kenya, you okay?

All this stuff is just really hard.

And then we have to do court, and it's on YouTube.

so everyone can see.

Oh, really?

I want to start with the big question. Where do things stand with you two now?

filed for divorce. We're still in court, but I want full custody.

It's like if you were in a courtroom, it's public.

Anyone can log in to watch, and the things that are being said and stuff,

just so private. You can hear...

People talking about money and how much they make, and I have to file paperwork

to show how much I make.

It's like crazy. That's terrible. Such an invasion.

I love Kenya, but I'm upset with her right now.

So the fact that she has come downstairs and is upset, it's kind of like when I

was just both upset.

You didn't concern yourself about my feelings, so it's kind of hard for me to

concern myself about yours.

It's a public forum.

To sit there in court and have these strangers talking about your child,

yours.

It's a lot.

I'm sorry.

That is an illusion of privacy.

to sit there in court and have these strangers talking about your child,

yours.

It's a lot.

Horrible. I'm sorry, honey.

That is an invasion of privacy. Like, it's such an invasion. Yeah, I just got

the chills. I mean, it's upsetting because this is something that has meant

most to me in my life, and I'm losing it in front of everyone, and then I have

to talk about it. I'm in a public forum with any...

Tom, Dick, and Harry. They can listen to my daughter, intimate details,

finances. It's very difficult to share those details with strangers.

How long were you married?

Well, I'm still married.

It will be actually four years in June.

I didn't even think it was that long.

Yeah, we've been separated for over a year.

The potato salad?

For breakfast, no.

I didn't know you were married for four years. I have not dated. I have not had

sex in over a year.

Do you think he's dating?

I'm pretty sure.

Yeah. People send my husband naked pictures.

I know, right? Do you guys get dick pics?

Never. You never get one. On WhatsApp, I get, like, porn videos. Wait, wait,

wait. I forgot to ask you about this. Who had this party where you had this

stripper guy?

Oh, that was my best friend party. What was his name again?

Bolo. Bolo.

Bolo. Bolo.

Bolo. Bolo. Bolo.

Bolo. It ain't real.

It's real!

It, like, goes down to, like, almost to his knees.

The video someone sent me, he was...

on a cantaloupe, and he puts a hole in the melon, and then he shoots the melon,

and the melon explodes.

Stop! Oh, my God!

Really? It's insane.

I have to show it to you. I'm not a prude, but I don't really like to talk

sex and body parts. It's called having class, decorum, and elegance. If you

to talk like sluts and do whatever you want to do, fine, but that's not me.

You have your toys here? No, I use my hands.

And you show him?

Yeah, you're really turning a new page here. Oh, my goodness. Melissa is like

me. You put all fingers on your hand?

Yeah, you're trying. You like it. Oh, my God.

Come in.

Hey, everyone, it's Michael.

Oh, hey, Michael.

Come on in.

I have an idea for you. And then the spa day, we have lunch after volleyball.

Okay. And then you wanted a couple of treatments in particular for the ladies.

Yeah. We talked about seaweed wrap. So is that happening? Yeah. Yeah. And let's

see. And then what I really want to have is a pedicure. Girls look like they

have perfect pedicures. Mine is not. Do you see me like tucking my toes in?

Yeah. I'm not looking at your toes. Nobody ever looks at your feet. When you

a face like that, nobody looked at your feet.

Michael's a very nice guy. He's an attractive guy. And I can feel when a

likes to flirt.

I

am

married, yeah.

I'm married.

Married, but he's not dead. A man can flirt.

You've been amazing.

No, you aren't.

The girls actually have commented. They're like, Michael is so elegant and

-spoken and chic. Oh, thank you very much. Totally. They love you. So, great

job. You're doing a great job.

Okay, where's the volleyball?

Water. Bottle of water. I thought we were playing volleyball.

I don't know anyone who plays volleyball like you.

I'm in athletic.

I'm about to slam on you.

where you're going. This is not a volleyball.

This is playing volleyball.

Heels, ring, a gown.

What is this?

So listen, I think Sylvia's mad at me.

I think she's mad at both of us.

Did she just say hi to you?

She's very frosty. Yeah.

She's frosty toward me today, too.

Can I be honest? I think she might be a little annoyed that you came down so

late. The glam girl was 30 minutes late.

So that threw me off.

I think you should call the glam girl and have a talk with her instead.

I think so.

But I think it's more than that. I just think that she also feels like you and I

are, like, you know, super clicky. Really? Would that bother her? She said

me yesterday when we were on the boat.

No, she did not. Yes, she did.

Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? No.

think she would even think that way in a million years. She did.

Are we in high school here? I feel like Teresa and Cynthia are getting along

amazing, and I'm good with that. I don't know, and it looks like Kenny doesn't

give a shit either, so I don't understand why she's so sensitive about

she's feeling like you're hers.

Well, honey, a lot of people have fought over me. I know, and I just didn't see

it.

There's enough for all of us to go around. There's enough of all of us to

around.

Hey, guys.

Oh, hey.

Another one's going glam volleyball.

Well, I'm going to learn how to play. I don't know how to play. John is here

with a guy to teach us. Oh, that's why she's wearing this. Right.

That's why we're in the situation right here. Was it from the restaurant?

Got it. Yes. Used to be a volleyball instructor.

Ramona, I will take one for the team for you today. I want those men to be with

us and you all day.

Not all day. I don't want anybody all day. I want your shirt and dress.

Go get your stuff.

Hot.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Ramona.

Woo!

I want this in my house.

I'm good. Good to see you. You too.

Hey,

Albert. Hi, Albert. Yes, nice to see you. Thanks for doing this. I definitely

need to learn how to surf.

I'm going to help you out.

So Lou's the master of volleyball for sure, so we'll wait for her.

Unless you want to pre -teach me how to surf.

Sure. So that I don't get embarrassed in front of everybody.

Whoa, that rock.

Holy moly.

There you go. I am playing the damsel in distress, but actually, I don't know

how to surf, and I need someone to teach me.

Hit it out of your hand nice and low. Bend your knees a little bit, and then

just lift. And then come up with it? Exactly right. Yep.

That's all right. That was good.

Let's face it. He has a rock -hard body. He has a beautiful smile, and I want to

learn some pointers.

Bend those knees, and, like, you're lifting up. Turn your wrists up.

Hi, baby love.

Hi, lady.

Hi. Hi, gorgeous.

Look at this. There's men here. This feels illegal or something.

Hey, guys.

Hello. Can I get in?

Absolutely. I guess your hat's not going to work.

Come over on this side.

Hey, John, how are you? I'm fine.

How are you?

I mean, I used to play volleyball all the time when I was growing up, so I

like I'm a pretty good volleyball player at this point.

Oh, damn.

Are you okay?

Other than that, I'm a good player.

That's great right there.

Oh, good shot. Good shot.

Yeah.

Oh, nice try.

Sorry.

I thought you had it, Melissa.

I thought you had my back.

I'm trying.

Nice.

That's a little long.

We need a ball person.

We need margaritas.

Okay, ready?

Good serve. Here we go.

Ramona, up. That's it. Good.

Ramona. Don't get in the way. I almost killed you. I know, I know. And then I

hit a rock. I hit a rock.

Ramona doesn't care about volleyball.

Look at you. I mean, how can you do anything in that outfit?

Michael, where's our margaritas?

She has other balls on her mind.

Cocktails are closed.

Ready? Uh -oh. You got this.

We're almost at the cocktails, girls.

Here it comes.

No.

I did it too close.

Just like that.

Yes.

Nice. That was amazing.

We all did great, as I'm spilling from the poor dog. Spilling the margarita on

the dog's butt.

Maggie's licking it off his butt. Oh, my God. The dog's going to get drunk on

your margarita. He wants that.

He's like, give me some more of that.

That is so funny.

Those look so good.

Thank you so much.

Cheers, guys.

To a good volleyball game.

Cheers. That was good. Cheers, you guys.

So is it your dinner tonight, Kyle? Yeah.

We are going to the Waimara Resort.

We also have an astrologer coming in.

So she's an astrologer, but she's also intuitive.

Oh, oh, it's spa day, isn't it? Yeah.

And I'm super excited about it. Got a lot of attention.

Can I go in the water?

I need to take my mic off.

Do you want to talk really quick before we shower so we can relax and enjoy our

massages?

I knew it was coming, so tell me what I did wrong.

Look at Ramona.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, my God, the water's so good.

I really thank you. No, seriously, it was so much fun.

I'm not going to drag this out. I just wanted to say, last night, for my Bailey

cue, there was, like, a couple things that happened that really irritated me,

and you obviously picked up on it.

Yes.

Sue, what are you doing?

Oh, just messing my feet up. Oh, I'm listening.

I just felt like last night was my night.

And it really annoyed me that you, like, walked in late with no apologies,

no sense of urgency, made yourself a plate of macaroni and cheese after I had

the ladies wait for you.

So that was, like, the first thing. And then I just felt like from that point

there were moments where you just could have been a little more supportive.

You know, these girls are not in our inner circle. You know, if someone

of our group says I'm not comfortable with that, And even though you have

explained or modified the game to make everyone comfortable, change the rules

100 times, sit. I did not interfere when you were talking. I listened, right?

Okay.

I'll go back to it. Go ahead. So what I was saying is I think that you have to,

you know, adapt.

And I did.

But then you got mad.

No, I didn't. I didn't get mad about adapting.

No, no, no. I told you I was irritated with you for the reasons that I just

said.

It's the respect.

At the end of the day, I'm on a girl's trip. Okay, let me, I'm speaking now.

Okay. Had Ramona Singer walked in, had you been sitting at the table on time

waiting for Ramona? Because she's made like 10 in practice. And it's not just

you. I would have said something.

Oh, honey, you would have. The world would have come to an end, honey. And

everybody else as well. But you're making it seem like it's a pattern.

has shown a pattern since before. Ramona's not my friend.

You're my friend. We talked about it. Well, good.

No, Cynthia, you didn't turn up, and I don't know why. I want to make you hear

me because I don't really want to be on a girl's front having a conversation

with the one person.

Cynthia, I don't take it that way. I came here friends with you. When I'm

to explain something to you and you're like, it seems like you want to have a

fight.

You know, it seems like you want to have a fight. I don't want to have a fight.

I don't want to have a fight. Okay.

I'm explaining to you that those girls were uncomfortable. They don't have to

feel the same way as you. They didn't want to do it.

I feel like you felt like I did it. Kyle was a lot of stuff. The energy was all.

No. Kyle and I were having a kiki. It wasn't about you. We were laughing about

whole. Kenya, I was talking at one point and you were like making faces with

your eyes. I was excited about putting this together for you guys. I just would

like that same respect.

I felt like in that moment, you could have been a little bit more supportive

you can't tell me how to feel.

And that's it.

You know, it's interesting because on my show.

I'm usually the one that's being pushed out from the friend circle.

But here, I'm vibing with everyone, and I finally feel that people can see who I

really am, and they like me. And I think that Cynthia is just jealous because

she's not really vibing with these women.

Well, I am definitely going to.

Continue being supportive, but I'm not going to go against how I feel because

feelings are bad. And I would never ask you to. You never do, and I don't expect

you to start now.

Okay. All right, cool. My goal was to let my friend know that my feelings were

hurt and to get back on the same page. I'm not really sure what Kenya's goal

was, but I felt like not only did she not choose to hear me, she didn't get

and Lord knows she didn't receive it, that's for sure.

We said we were going to do arm weights, remember?

Oh, we are today.

You know, this is not that light.

What, this?

Yeah, it's good for your arms.

That's what I heard.

That's how we tone.

I'll see you, ladies.

Hi, nice to see you. Hi, thank you so much for the lesson. I think we're going

to see you at your house one night, right? Right. Can we do a bonfire, too?

Yeah, of course. Yay!

You guys have a nice walk on the beach? We did.

Well, I did. I said what I needed to say. I feel much better.

I have a skirt.

You feel good, too? Yeah.

I don't like to harp on stuff.

Where's my drinking partner?

Oh, yeah.

She's feeling herself over there. Keep going. Okay.

Oh, I like that. Oh, my God. You have the best boot day.

Can I get some water, please? Thank you. I thought you said you were going to go

in the water. No, I want to go in the water, and I want to get some water. Oh,

okay. I'd like some water.

Can you guys say water?

Water.

Water. I would like to say water.

Would you like a glass of water?

Ramona has an accent, too.

Does she?

But it's like, you know, more like, you know, it's like clips.

Yeah. She just talks fast. Yeah, she talks fast.

I apologize.

What are you going to do?

I'm so hungry.

This is amazing.

Is that like a tuna tartar in a glass?

Yeah. So, Ramona, what's going on with John? I mean, I'm like, when is he going

to make a move?

You know what? Everything is slow time. I'm not in a rush for anything anymore.

What? Everything in time.

Do you guys ever have, like, conversations about, like, personal

We're just friends. And you know what? I'm starting with a friendship. If it

goes somewhere, it does. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Because I always have to be

my friend.

From what I've seen, Ramona is a very aggressive person, obviously.

And now she's playing all coy and shy. She doesn't want to talk about her love

life. Girl, that is an act, okay?

Acting class is down the hall. It's not here.

We're just friends at this point.

You know, maybe he's into the 20 -somethings. Oh, man. Or maybe he likes

little chocolate. Oh, do you know? Ah!

There you go.

Listen, Kenya can't even keep her husband. I was married for over 20

was she married for? Like a hop?

What do you call it? A flippity -flop?

What do you call it?

Not even for a hot second, for goodness sakes.

Hey, Kyle, I have a question. Yes. Can you tell me a little bit more about the

astrologer tonight?

Does she read cards?

Does she read hands? Like, how does it work? So it's basically just reading

your birthday and stuff, I guess. Okay.

I definitely believe in this one million percent. I had a psychic tell me that I

was going to be on a reality show.

Most likely with my sister Kim. And then she said, there's going to be light

shining on you like this in October.

And that's when it premiered. We had a premiere. So I have high hopes. And I

think it always makes for an interesting dinner party.

When I'm ever leaving him, I'm going with him. He will never emotionally

you. Ever.

Know that.

As soon as the kids are bigger, you'll have nothing in common.

Oh, that'd be fun.

And when's your birthday?

On your Scorpio.

Taurus, Taurus, Scorpio, Aries. Oh, I get a little bit of Taurus.

Taurus the bull, you can be stubborn.

I'm very stubborn.

I mean, I've gotten softer now as I've gotten older.

Right, Melissa?

No.

No, Teresa, we can't lie to people. We have to be honest.

Like, how does it work? Like, you guys are family.

You work on a show together.

Like, does that make you guys automatically besties? It doesn't make

automatic besties. It makes us, we love each other. We have a lot of respect for

each other. We actually do have a lot of fun together. But a lot of times other

people get involved with us and it sets up a little bit. True or not true,

Teresa had no idea you were coming on the show.

Untrue.

But her and I didn't know. You didn't know? She knew.

Oh, wow.

She knew. I didn't know until I got the phone call from Andy. Right. So Andy

called her and said, we're interviewing your sister -in -law. No, he didn't.

Andy called me and said, your sister -in -law won't stop DMing me. She wants to

get on the show. No, I never DMed him. That's what I'm telling you.

That's what he said to me. He said, take it up with him. He's out there.

They inboxed me to interview her and I, which, by the way, they still, they

inbox all of my friends still right now looking for. Yeah, but all my friends,

as soon as they get inboxed, they say. Yeah, but you and I were not friends at

all.

We weren't speaking. But we're, you were, we were family. We were still

No, we weren't.

Who's telling? I'm not lying. We were not on speaking terms at all.

Were you and your brother speaking?

No. Tell you the truth, I remember what we weren't talking about, unless they

were just mad because I wasn't putting them on the show.

We did not want to be on the show that way. We never agree on this. She has her

story. I have my story.

She's never going to admit it.

You might back up.

Hold on to the table.

When they called me to interview me, They then told you that. No, they

Yes, they did. Well, did you tell?

Because I don't speak to her. We don't speak.

She's a table clip. Because I didn't know.

Listen to me. I didn't know if we were going to do it or not.

Of course. we interviewed for this show and of course they wanted us it's a

family show caroline was on the show dina they want sister -in -law like

what they want when they first asked me to join the show i was trying to get a

feeling of what exactly goes on with these shows i was watching wigs being

pulled on atlanta i was like oh wait there's family members on new jersey i

how hard could it be that's funny that i even thought that we went to film at

the christening They said she wouldn't sign. She was like, I'm not signing this

paper. If you pass my brother and my sister, I will not sign.

Finally, she gave in and filled with us. I was like, I don't want to fight with

my family. To me, family is everything.

Look what happened.

Just walk away. Go.

Just walk away.

So why'd you invite me then? Take a walk. It's garbage.

You two trying to play both sides of the fence.

Did you guys ever watch the Godfather movie?

I wanted

to

show America what family is truly about, like sticking together. And you don't

go against against the family. Why didn't you text?

Sorry, I'm just asking a very innocent question. I bonded with them, and I

didn't know it starts third world who.

It looks to me like Melissa and Teresa buried the hatchet, but, you know, I

don't know how deep the hatchet is.

What?

I made a mistake. It's third world three.

A third world.

World war?

Yeah.

I don't see any real chemistry or compatibility between Melissa and

These women are connected by family, and that is it. It just doesn't seem like

they like each other that much. All right, let's change the subject. Let's

relax.

This is the perfect time for a massage.

Girls, you ready to change the... We've only been talking about the fact that

I'm on the show for the last 11 years. I know, right?

Killing a dead horse, like, get over it.

Tell me, like, we're never going to agree, but nobody knows the truth. How

have you been on the show? I've been on the show since season one, and then they

came on season three. Yeah.

These are the underwear?

Yeah. Would you like to go put it on? Oh, man. I'm going to go put it on and

come back.

This looks like a mask.

It's a mask and it's underwear.

It's everything. What the heck?

I got you on.

I have towels for you. All right. I'm burning my eyes.

Michael!

Okay, okay. Ready?

Michael, you're getting hit in the head.

Michael.

Well,

I think Michael kind of likes me.

Oh my God, that's too funny, Luann.

That's so funny.

All right, so you're going to just get right on.

What's happening?

She is giving us a soundtrack to her sex life.

That's the spot right there. Yeah, right there. I don't know what's going on

over there, but it seems a lot better than my situation.

Maybe now she's...

Relax, and now she'll forgive me.

Oh, my God. Look, my ass is hanging out. I don't know what I got.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Here it is.

Oh, my God.

Okay, Mom, I'll call you right back.

Are we fine?

All right, good. I'm just checking, because you look like, you know. I know

get adamant about that. I know it's the oldest thing. Listen, we're never going

to agree. That's what I just said to Kyle. I have my story. Whatever.

Listen, you start fighting with me, I'll be like, well, go fight with yourself.

Believe me, you're the last person I want to fight with.

When my first started on the real hot sides of New Jersey, we weren't.

friends. We were just sister -in -laws.

And I think the show made us want to be together and enjoy each other's time

because I'm scared that we would have never seen each other if it wasn't for

fact that we were filming together.

She's married to my brother and I have no family here. He's like my only

So if I have to bite my tongue and overlook something, I will.

Oh my God, that movie is beautiful.

Okay, ready? Ready for an island dinner party.

This is off the beaten track, that's right. Oh, look, they have it. Look at

this. Someone found out. Oh, the Real Housewives, the all -star vacation.

They're doing our house. Oh, my God.

And it says, Ramona is currently terrorizing the other housewives.

Wait. It says, look at the picture of Ramona naked.

What? Just kidding.

Oh,

what a beautiful setting.

Hello, welcome to White Harbor Villa. Wow, it's so pretty.

Welcome to Waimara Village. Oh, thank you.

Oh, this is gorgeous.

Wow, you really are that beautiful.

Oh, bonsoir. I like you already.

Can you take a photo, Bulba?

On the count of three, say Waimara.

Waimara.

No, just do one phone. We'll just do one more. We'll air drop them.

Just do one phone.

Oh, look at the photographer.

Yeah, what a group.

Thank you. Thank you. Oh, my God. I don't know, but all I know is I need to

a drink before I continue.

Sorry about that.

Oh, that's okay.

She can be a little bossy.

That's not it.

I guess you're the astrologer. How are you?

You look beautiful. Thank you, darling.

Hello. Hello, everyone.

I'm here to tell you your fortune.

we sit at the you sit at the head here we walked in you looked like that

beautiful woman who the cartoon character for one second like you look

like she puts the blue eye makeup like you too what were we just saying with

white no that she has all the dalmatians yes that

is not a compliment yes it is she's fabulous

that it is not being shady by saying someone looks like Cruella de Vil, a

famous, crazy -looking villain.

Is she asking for this woman to put a curse on her?

It's like, no, girl, that's an insult.

But anyway, so I want to give you the essence of who you

are. I've never done astrology, I don't think.

You're going to do it tonight.

There's spirits in the air tonight.

From

your

chart I've extracted, what makes you incredibly special?

Did you have my birth date?

Yes, it was sent to me.

I'm going to start with our hostess, Kyle.

The kind of key to your chart is that in your past lives, you were more often

than not a man.

I've heard that. A man? Yes, I've heard that before.

Yeah, I've been a man in my past life.

Yes, and now you can see, so men deal with emotions differently than women.

were general in a past life. That's what I was told.

Oh, my God. I was already told I was a general in the past life. Well, I'm

picking up the same past life, so it must be true. I was literally told that.

I'm the only man of the group.

Who knew? I'm the only guy here.

Well, whatever.

And she's damn proud of it, too.

I think the astrologer got it wrong, saying Kyle was a man in her previous

If anybody, it'd be Luann.

I got a really...

No, mine fits perfectly like it was made for me. Because you're a loo man.

Well, because I'm tall, baby.

Like a man.

Okay, you're next.

Oh, Kenya.

We do have some wonderful information for you.

Okay.

Now, I know that you have had, and it made sense to me when I saw...

Not only your past life, but something you're meant to do in this life.

You're supposed to be a shaman.

Wow.

Wow, really?

Yeah. Have you thought about that? Is that something you want to do?

No.

Lady, please.

Try again.

You had a challenging childhood.

You know, your mother abandoned you.

And it was a struggle, I'm sure. But let me tell you this, why.

Your mother is stuck in this past life. That's why she's been treating you this

way, okay?

She had a child, you, but you were a boy, okay? She had a child

with the king, but it was out of wedlock, and you were the heir to the

because the only child were females.

And everyone was trying to kill you and find you.

And she protected you by saying you weren't alive.

That sounds like a Lifetime movie.

Well, most past lives are like a Lifetime movie.

I may have been a son of a bitch, but I don't know about a son of a king.

You'll love this past life. You were a queen, darling.

But you married a commoner.

Marrying down.

There was no dentist in the room. There was no toilet bowl scrubbers in the

room. Cynthia, you were married to a very powerful man. You're also a

I've heard that before.

Where's all my plumbers at?

Melissa, your past life, you were a beautiful princess of a small country.

We're all royalty. I don't know. I like the princess part.

Teresa, you used to be a very seductive dancer.

Oh, isn't it ironic?

I was always accused of being the exotic dancer. It looks like it was Teresa.

The next is Ramona.

In her past life, did she always have to have the best bedroom?

Yeah,

you were a queen.

There you go. Now we know.

Oh, my God. Now it makes sense.

The only real royalty in this room tonight, darling, is a countess and a

Miss USA.

Thank you so much. You're welcome. It was such a lovely experience.

Good luck to you all. Thank you. I need to give you a hug. So everyone gets a

girl?

I love the way you did that.

So what year did you win the pageant? Many years ago.

Okay. In the 90s. In the 90s. Yeah. Cool. I won a pageant in Europe, too.

Universe. They gave me a car and a watch. Yeah, they gave me a car, a boat.

opened up.

So many opportunities for me in Italy. Not in America. This is in Europe. I was

a judge for Miss Universe in the Philippines, and I don't think I was the

looking there.

I was, like, losing when I came out of my swimsuit, whatever. But I started

winning when I started talking.

I just started to shine. It's so true. And that's how I won. It wasn't on

beauty. And it showed your inner beauty.

Kudos to you. But Miss Universe was very different, though. Miss Universe was

very different. Oh, you want to talk about Miss Universe?

Hey, we're having a conversation.

This is not about one person's perspective.

I literally tried to jump in maybe three or four times.

And my friend, Kenya, just kept talking over me.

I was a judge for Miss Universe in the Philippines, and I don't think I was the

best looking there. And that's how I went. But I was, and I was, like, not

in the top. Kudos to you. But Miss Universe was very different. That is

offensive. That is crazy.

How do you think it feels to judge you guys?

Like, as a judge, they sent us, like, a book with all of their photos. Oh, my

gosh. She was my best friend. And all of their information.

Like I was saying, as a judge for Miss Universe, it was, like, the hardest

I've ever had to do. Mark Anthony's wife won that year. There you go.

Oh! You would have been like, oh, yes, that's a winner.

So we were going to be like, it's going to be us and them.

Like,

literally, I thought it was going to be, like, Thelma and Louise and the rest.

And Kenia obviously has a plan.

Seriously, I just have one small thing to contribute to this pageant

conversation. I remember when we tried waiting.

Oh, my God.

Cynthia, let's have a party. You got a party? All right. You guys, I probably

have a good hour left.

Come on.

I don't want this wine anymore.

This is my new life.

This is my new life.

I'm going to have one drink, and I'm out.

I'm living my best life.

How do I make a drink? I don't know how to make a drink. Here's the thing, babe.

Sometimes you got to just let it in. You got to let the party in. I think we're

loose people dropping like flies.

But not me.

People need to sleep.

I told you my husband was a very handsome friend.

Homemade margarita, okay?

Honey, I need to know how to make a margarita. That's the real reason why.

Lime juice, fresh lime juice.

How much tequila? How much lime juice? Hold on. I have lime juice.

You have to measure it.

Motherfucker. You have to measure it. Hold on. You have to listen to the

Mexican. Okay. I don't like boring people.

You know we call the girls who do this in Beverly Hills?

Exiles 5.