All language subtitles for The Morning Show S04E08 The Parent Trap

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,527 There are state laws banning the freedom to choose, 2 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,280 criminalizing doctors, forcing survivors 3 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:58,452 of rape and incest to leave their states to get the treatment they need. 4 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,122 Many of you in this chamber, and my predecessors-- 5 00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,212 What happened? 6 00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:11,214 I told Claire not to go on TMS. 7 00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:14,759 You gave up your source to the feds. 8 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,011 I tried to warn her. I told her-- 9 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,639 UBN is in free fall. Stella is gone. 10 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,724 O24 was a disaster. 11 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:25,353 And now, thanks to you, TMS has been raided. 12 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,939 I did not have a choice. 13 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:31,150 I've been walking this tightrope with the feds for two years now. 14 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,736 Really? So you didn't think you should tell me 15 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,906 that you were working with the FBI when you came back? 16 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,741 What else are you hiding? 17 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,326 Are you wearing a wire right now? 18 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,953 Come on, Alex. 19 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:45,748 I think you and I actually both know, deep down, that this was a terrible idea. 20 00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:48,376 So if you actually came here to... 21 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:50,879 to submit your resignation, I accept. 22 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,007 That's not why you're here. 23 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,676 Chip and I found a whistleblower. 24 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,678 She worked at Martel Chemical. 25 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,681 She's been scared to come forward until now. 26 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,431 Well, I don't blame her. 27 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,392 Sources are not very safe in your hands. 28 00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:08,145 You told me you would give me time to find a smoking gun. This woman is it. 29 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:11,399 She can put together all the pieces of this investigation. I just... 30 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,860 I have to get to her before she changes her mind. 31 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:16,112 I am this close to landing a presidential sit-down, 32 00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:19,448 I cannot have anything or anyone fuck this up. 33 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,700 Our source is in Belarus. 34 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,286 She's hiding out with her family, and she's agreed to talk to me, 35 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:24,704 but I have to meet in person. 36 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:25,913 Wait, I'm sorry. 37 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,415 Did you just say Belarus? 38 00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,083 And if I'm gonna go, I... 39 00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:31,043 I have to go under the auspices of the network. 40 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,129 I need your authority to sign off on it. 41 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,464 You're the only one that knows about the investigation. 42 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,675 I made a list of things I need. I need a signature. 43 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,552 Belarus? Are you kidding? 44 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,013 No. Absolutely not. 45 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:46,435 You do not get my signature or my permission or my auspices. 46 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,228 If it were up to me, you wouldn't have a fucking job. 47 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,814 I know there is a cost to all of this. 48 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,526 Wait, wait. Did you just call Claire a cost? 49 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:02,825 You can't make me feel worse than I already feel. 50 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:07,455 If I can break this story, if I can help those people, then I can prove-- 51 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:10,291 - Prove what? - That I'm on the right side of something. 52 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,586 A story is not gonna save you, Bradley. 53 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,005 This is over. 54 00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:21,844 People died. And the network, the one that you're the face of, 55 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,387 just looked the other way. 56 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:27,725 They actually actively buried a story and they could have done the opposite. 57 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:28,935 How do you sleep at night? 58 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,855 Me? How do you sleep at night? 59 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,317 I don't. 60 00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,114 Dad is pissed. 61 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,785 It's in all the French tabloids. 62 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,703 We never trusted him. 63 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,163 He's a bum. 64 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:52,041 You have four children, two with whores. 65 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,668 Exactly but... 66 00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:55,253 - I didn't marry them. - Wow. 67 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:57,004 Bravo, what a hero. 68 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,506 Your husband fucked around. 69 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,132 Dump him. 70 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,551 I don't take orders from you. 71 00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:02,760 Dad said-- 72 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,097 Always his little henchman. 73 00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,808 Time to come home. 74 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,602 Afraid I'll outshine you? 75 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:13,939 Always the greedy one. 76 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,900 You were sent here for one reason only. 77 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,528 To cover up a scandal at a chemical company. 78 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:23,072 - And I did that. - But you kept going. 79 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:27,159 And now you've become the story. 80 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,620 You're not thinking of the family. 81 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,874 They're appointing a new CEO. 82 00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,835 I'll have total control of a media company. 83 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,297 CEO and President of the Board. 84 00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:43,177 We will have total control of the narrative. 85 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:48,931 They say perception is half the battle, 86 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:52,977 in fact it's the whole war. 87 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:58,024 Like promising a heartwarming Olympic story to our partners in Tehran? 88 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,359 I didn't know that girl would defect. 89 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,612 We're deeply leveraged in these games. 90 00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,114 I took care of that too. 91 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:08,034 There are the vendors. The stadiums. Our partners. 92 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,369 And the Seine. 93 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,290 The Seine, your pet project. 94 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,125 Financing the great cleanup. 95 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,544 Apparently it's still littered with shit. 96 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,756 Just worry about cleaning up your own mess. 97 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:25,302 Lose the husband and come home. 98 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:28,263 His name is Miles. 99 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:40,817 Oh, God. 100 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:42,860 Hello? 101 00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,737 - Alex Levy? - Yes? 102 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,698 We have your father here at a campus security holding cell. 103 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,075 What? What are you talking about? 104 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,702 - Public intoxication. - Oh, shit. 105 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,079 Alexandra, it's me! 106 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,164 - Oh, my God. - I need you, Alexandra! 107 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,083 Can't you just put him in an Uber or something? 108 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,292 He needs to be picked up. 109 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,212 There was an incident that we'd prefer not to press charges on. 110 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,506 - What did he do? - Public urination is considered 111 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:05,842 a lewd act under New York Penal Law section 245-- 112 00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:08,595 Okay, okay. I'll be right there. Shit. 113 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,347 No, look, I'm completely fine. 114 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,849 All right. Come on. This way. Here we go. 115 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,892 - Let's go this way please, Dad. - Don't fuss. 116 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:16,227 I'm not some crumbling fossil. 117 00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,896 All right. Dad, I have to be up in three hours. 118 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,648 I have a really huge day tomorrow. 119 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,233 - Listen, I... If I'm gonna... - Please. 120 00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,694 I want to sleep in my own bed, so I'll call a car. 121 00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:27,864 Dad, you're here. It's late. Okay? 122 00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,031 Let's just sleep this off. 123 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,533 Let's go. Okay? Come on. 124 00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,702 All right, but look, listen, I'm gonna need 125 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:35,205 - a toothbrush for this little sleepover. - Yep. You got it. 126 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:36,956 - Dad. - And some water. 127 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,750 Yes. Yes, yes. And an Aleve. I got it coming all for you. 128 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,045 - Right here? This way. Oh, right. - This way. Come on. Please. 129 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,422 This one is stunning. 130 00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:46,215 Yeah, absolutely. 131 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,217 But come on. 132 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:49,510 This one. 133 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,429 It's adventurous but with a... 134 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:53,347 a deep inner life. 135 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,766 She's worried about this area. 136 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,227 - Can't we see some other options? - No, I hear you. I hear you. 137 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,562 But... 138 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,565 this is the wig, right? 139 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,359 - You're right. - And the right wig 140 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,486 is gonna get her the little gold man. 141 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,738 I'll take it over there. 142 00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,198 I'll show her myself. 143 00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:12,658 And she'll see. Thanks, guys. 144 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,744 Or she won't. 145 00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:18,206 Ma, hey, I was just gonna call you. 146 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,790 Which Meryl wig do you prefer? 147 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:22,210 Silkwood, Prada, or Sophie's Choice? 148 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,670 Which, incidentally, this is starting to feel like right now. 149 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,839 I'm on the lot, I gotta lock it in. 150 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,466 Are you back in Los Angeles? 151 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:31,260 I'm in New York on the lot today. 152 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,764 But, we've got some exteriors later this week. 153 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,892 Cory, I have to talk to you. 154 00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:40,436 Younger Meryl would be better, but any Meryl really. 155 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,896 I'm not waiting for Switzerland. 156 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,981 I'm gonna take things in my own hands. 157 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,984 Mom, I'm sorry I didn't call you back last night. 158 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,946 I had a major hair department crisis that I had to de-escalate, 159 00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:52,114 but I will swing by later today and it's gonna be fine. 160 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:56,786 I put the eggs in the medicine cabinet and my dirty towels in the fridge. 161 00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:58,371 I'm losing it. 162 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,540 My brain was my one constant and now-- 163 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:01,666 Okay, stop. 164 00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:05,378 I know that this is stressful. It's scary-- 165 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,922 Yesterday I almost hit the neighbor's child, 166 00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,924 backing out of the driveway. 167 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:11,510 I was within inches. 168 00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:13,595 I can't live like this. 169 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,806 I need to do this before I can't. 170 00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:20,769 Before I have an around-the-clock nurse who has to change my diaper. 171 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,438 Mom, we talked about this. 172 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,899 Cory, I've gotten the pills. 173 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:30,195 I've organized everything so you won't have to do a thing. 174 00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:34,783 I'm going to end my life today. 175 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:37,828 I love you. 176 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,706 Don't do anything until I get there. 177 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,176 Jesus. 178 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:08,107 Fuck. 179 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,484 Dad! 180 00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:13,155 Dad? Are you fucking kidding me? 181 00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:18,619 Goddamn it. 182 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,664 And get TMS to pull my interviews of Obama and RBG. 183 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,291 There should be a link ready. And... 184 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:28,252 Don't... Don't forget to get their coffee orders organized. 185 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,420 Don't go to the bitter place. 186 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:32,256 Go to the place that has that little... They put foam and little faces-- 187 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,800 - Are you okay? - Why? 188 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,428 No, you just... you seem a little stressed. 189 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,180 Yeah. Well, I... 190 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:41,557 I had an incident with my father last night and now he's missing. 191 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:42,726 Oh, the pee thing? 192 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,102 Did you see that video? 193 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,188 No. 194 00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:47,772 A little. 195 00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,440 Yes. I'm gonna get your coffees. 196 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,692 - Thank you. - Okay. 197 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,569 You could co-chair the campaign. 198 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,154 I can't be so front-facing. 199 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,282 But we'll find the perfect person. 200 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,158 Why New Jersey? 201 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,451 I have a place on the shore. 202 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:03,287 The Democrat's going down in the corruption scandal 203 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,499 which opens a path for an independent. 204 00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:08,209 Alex. 205 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:09,585 Sorry, didn't realize you were... 206 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,255 - I'll come back. - We're done. 207 00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:17,093 - Good morning, Bro. - Ms. Levy, always a pleasure. 208 00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:19,555 It is a pleasure. 209 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,432 How are you holding up? 210 00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:29,106 It's all so public. 211 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:31,107 I'm sorry. 212 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:32,191 He went upstate. 213 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,360 For a little while. 214 00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:37,573 And we keep missing each other. 215 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,913 So, I think I have some good news for you. 216 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:49,458 I'm meeting with the press team from the White House. 217 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:54,463 Biden hasn't done a long-form in months. We could have a lot of eyeballs on it. 218 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,716 - Excellent. - We need a win. 219 00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:58,551 We're the last two standing. 220 00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,261 Like at the end of a disaster movie. 221 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,555 Exactly. 222 00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:04,223 Try not to let the other stuff get you down. 223 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,101 Thank you. 224 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,564 Good luck with your father. 225 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,026 - You saw that? - Hard to miss. 226 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:15,819 Parents are tricky. 227 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,487 Yeah. 228 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,281 This isn't gonna be a good look. 229 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:21,992 - Hi. - Hi. 230 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,286 Yeah, so, I found your dad. 231 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,873 - Oh, God. Where? - Alexandra. 232 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:29,790 What are you doing here? 233 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:34,295 Well, I can't cower in a cupboard while my reputation's being trampled underfoot. 234 00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:35,922 - Remy, please give us a second. - Yes. 235 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,674 These ridiculous accusations of literary theft 236 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,636 are a malicious lie, a takedown. 237 00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:46,641 And now another insignificant incident blown entirely out of proportion. 238 00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:49,143 "Lewd acts" does not sound great. 239 00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,812 - Hyperbole. - You peed on Paul Revere. 240 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:52,939 It was Nathan Hale. 241 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:57,360 Dad, please, can we talk about this later? I have a very, very big day today. 242 00:12:57,361 --> 00:13:00,404 Put me on your show. Give me the chance to vindicate myself. 243 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,281 To tell my side of the story. 244 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:06,077 To explain that the free exchange of ideas is essential 245 00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,454 to any substantive intellectual debate. 246 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:13,125 And in no way approaches the threshold of plagiarism. 247 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,294 Dad, I can't... I can't do that. 248 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:19,549 They're trying to remove me from the very department I created. 249 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:22,134 The least you can do, Alexandra, is to help. 250 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,594 Okay, you want my advice? 251 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,012 Here's my advice to you. 252 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,306 I would go away. I would disappear. 253 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,891 Wait till everybody moves on. 254 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,017 Move on where? 255 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,477 Academia is in free fall. 256 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,438 University presidents are being hauled before Senate sub-committees. 257 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,400 Students sleeping in tents in the quad. 258 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:41,988 While rigorous debate, actual critical thinking, has gone the way of the dodo. 259 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,698 I could've helped fix all this nonsense. 260 00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:46,952 I still can, just give me a chance to make my case. 261 00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:49,871 I can't. I cannot put you on my show. 262 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,331 Charlie Rose was always happy to have me. 263 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,499 In the '90s. 264 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:57,170 And I don't think Charlie Rose is a very compelling character witness these days. 265 00:13:57,171 --> 00:14:00,548 You have exacerbated this situation because of your profile, 266 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:02,926 therefore it is incumbent on you to help fix it. 267 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:08,264 I am securing an interview with the president of the United States. 268 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,892 I cannot do this right now. 269 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:15,480 "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child." 270 00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:19,234 Dad, I'm sorry. 271 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:40,506 Mom! 272 00:14:45,177 --> 00:14:47,887 One traffic ticket later, here I am. 273 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:51,307 The Hitler Youth cop said I did a California roll, 274 00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:52,809 which, you know, of course I'm gonna... 275 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,229 Forget it. I'm here. 276 00:14:56,480 --> 00:15:02,944 So, Leon Erwin, my personal attorney, will have all the paperwork ready for you. 277 00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,447 Oh, wow. Leon the lawyer. Oh, that's a sitcom. 278 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,823 I've made it as simple as I could. 279 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,617 You just have to sign. 280 00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:12,495 I left a list of all the people you need to call 281 00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,956 with their numbers on the kitchen table. 282 00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:19,169 Simple. Your death. Paperwork. Got it. 283 00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:21,671 What do you wanna order for lunch? 284 00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:25,592 All I ask is that you're gone when the coroner arrives tonight at 9:00. 285 00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:28,136 This is still illegal. 286 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:32,056 And the last thing I would want is for you to get implicated in a crime. 287 00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,976 Okay, sure, well, this sounds great. 288 00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,229 You're gonna illegally kill yourself. 289 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:41,816 Mom, can we actually talk about this now? 290 00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:43,568 - What do you mean? - You're not gonna do this. 291 00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:45,028 You know this. 292 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:48,322 I know this. You're upset. I get it. 293 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,283 But let's just talk about it, okay? 294 00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:52,369 We'll figure it out together. 295 00:15:53,579 --> 00:15:56,330 This isn't the kind of thing you just do. 296 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:59,876 And damn you for dumping this shit on me today. 297 00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:03,963 You tell me that this is just a ploy to get your only and favorite son 298 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,632 back into the house and I will forgive you. 299 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,758 Tell me that you're sad. 300 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:10,262 Tell me that you need something. 301 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,389 I'm glad you came. 302 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,312 Hey. You wanna meet a movie star in Rhinebeck? 303 00:16:19,313 --> 00:16:21,147 We'll make a road trip out of it. 304 00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,149 Or we can head down the Hudson. Yes. 305 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,775 We'll hit Manhattan, see a show. 306 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:27,653 Let's find a play with the worst possible reviews. 307 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:31,283 I have made my decision. while I can still make one. 308 00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:38,040 Now, you can be here, or you can get the paperwork later, I... 309 00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:46,590 Either way, 310 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,968 this is what's going to happen. 311 00:16:50,469 --> 00:16:51,637 Today. 312 00:16:54,473 --> 00:16:56,516 Used to be you'd try out new material 313 00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:57,892 on campuses. 314 00:16:57,893 --> 00:17:02,647 Now they all got cell phones and boom, one anti-woke joke, you're done. 315 00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:04,815 - Yeah. - You're canceled. It's killing comedy. 316 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,567 I mean, yeah, I guess. 317 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,736 Oh, my God. You still do the comic circuit though, don't you? 318 00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,154 I do, yeah. No, I mean, you have... 319 00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:13,031 you have to accept that what's funny is gonna change, you know. 320 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,951 You just evolve with the times. 321 00:17:14,952 --> 00:17:18,539 These kids, they don't know the difference between a joke and reality. 322 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,414 Yeah, but okay, well, do you remember 323 00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:23,751 that Bill Cosby had that whole set about drugging and assaulting women? 324 00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:26,295 - Turns out it wasn't such a joke. - I do wanna talk about some Cosby. 325 00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:29,006 - I don't know if I do. - But first, we gotta pay the bills. 326 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:32,177 - You gonna let me plug my tour dates? - You sure will, right after the break. 327 00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:35,096 And stay tuned for the shitstorm in the Seine. 328 00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:37,014 - You hear about this? - No. 329 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:39,350 They spent all this money on cleaning the caca 330 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:42,437 out of the river in Paris for the Olympics. 331 00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:44,105 Well, I love a good poop story. 332 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,233 We'll be right back with the scat. 333 00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:49,819 Hey. 334 00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:51,112 Can I help you? 335 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:56,158 You know, it so happens that I'm a constitutional scholar of some renown, 336 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,703 specializing in the First Amendment. 337 00:17:58,704 --> 00:18:01,330 I could contribute to your discussion. 338 00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:04,208 We don't do unsolicited guests. No drive-bys. 339 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:08,463 No, these same students you speak of are trying to destroy me 340 00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,798 for a crime I did not commit. 341 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:16,387 And now, to further ridicule and shame me, they've publicized a... 342 00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:21,977 a little video of me relieving myself in close proximity to a national hero. 343 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,520 You're Alex Levy's father? 344 00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:26,856 Yes, I am. 345 00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:28,317 Hey, we're back in 60. 346 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:29,818 Yeah. 347 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:32,904 Why don't you come have a seat? 348 00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:37,158 The focus will be on the state of women's rights post-2020. 349 00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:41,621 Reproductive health care, bodily autonomy, pay equity. 350 00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:42,705 My... 351 00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:46,502 My interview with Kamala on gun violence scored huge numbers. 352 00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:48,961 Especially in the... the core demo. 353 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,713 And you just talk to me about timing 354 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:55,802 and we will roll this out around any important speeches or events. 355 00:18:57,054 --> 00:18:58,305 That sounds good. 356 00:18:59,348 --> 00:19:04,060 These days young people don't seem to realize the privileges they have. 357 00:19:04,061 --> 00:19:05,520 They take them for granted. 358 00:19:05,521 --> 00:19:08,773 They don't recognize that they stand on the shoulders 359 00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:11,275 of the generations that came before. 360 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:14,904 Maybe instead of canceling us, they should thank us. 361 00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:19,408 Hallelujah. I love a man who's not afraid to speak his mind 362 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,077 irregardless of the consequences. 363 00:19:21,078 --> 00:19:25,122 No, no, no. "Irregardless" is not a real word. 364 00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:27,917 The prefix "ir-" denotes a negation, 365 00:19:27,918 --> 00:19:30,753 so in this, and, well, frankly in any other context, 366 00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:33,130 - "regardless" will suffice. - Schooled. 367 00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:36,509 And it won't all be softballs, but it will be fair. 368 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:38,553 No Hunter, no Trump trial. 369 00:19:38,554 --> 00:19:42,557 Abortion and the Supreme Court, obviously, are all on the table. 370 00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:43,934 And I would like 30 minutes. 371 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,102 - Ten. - Twenty. 372 00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:47,562 - Twelve. - Fifteen. 373 00:19:47,563 --> 00:19:49,773 - Twelve. - Twelve and a walk-and-talk. 374 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:52,860 We can do that. 375 00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:54,902 That's great. 376 00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:56,988 - We'll get back to you with some dates. - Yes. 377 00:19:56,989 --> 00:19:59,615 Why don't you keep open the first two weeks of July? 378 00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,410 We will make it all work. 379 00:20:01,994 --> 00:20:02,994 Absolutely. 380 00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:04,912 This is fantastic, Riley. 381 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,122 Thanks so much for coming in. 382 00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:09,084 - Thank you. - So great. Yes! 383 00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:18,677 What? 384 00:20:23,891 --> 00:20:25,142 What the fuck? 385 00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:27,852 How does one get canceled nowadays? 386 00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:29,979 - Is it... email? - You ask me. 387 00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:33,150 I mean, this is a new thing, but I tell you, it was-- 388 00:20:34,318 --> 00:20:35,444 Stop. Cut it. 389 00:20:36,111 --> 00:20:38,237 - Okay, we're off. - What is going on in here? 390 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,448 You finally made it to the show. 391 00:20:40,449 --> 00:20:42,783 You forgot to tell me your dad is brilliant. 392 00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:44,869 I thought you were going home? 393 00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:47,748 You've just interrupted a very interesting conversation. 394 00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:51,126 I'm sure. It's... But let's go. It's time to leave. 395 00:20:53,045 --> 00:20:55,338 Well, Mr. Hartman, it's been a pleasure. 396 00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,215 You're welcome back anytime, sir. 397 00:20:57,216 --> 00:20:59,634 I would love to get your take on the right to bear arms. 398 00:20:59,635 --> 00:21:01,636 - The Second Amendment-- - God, no, no, no. 399 00:21:01,637 --> 00:21:04,305 One simple sentence, three confounding commas. 400 00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:05,806 We could do a whole series. 401 00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,850 - We could. - No, none of this is happening. 402 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:09,685 None of this is happening. Let's go. 403 00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,688 And you should have asked me before you put my father on your show. 404 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:15,775 Oh, I didn't know I needed a permission slip. 405 00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:18,528 Just, you know, common decency, a little respect. 406 00:21:18,529 --> 00:21:20,446 Decency and respect? 407 00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:21,864 Yeah, that's rich coming from you. 408 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,115 Dad, let's go, please. 409 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,534 You know, let me work this out. 410 00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:28,579 When a guy ghosts after sex, he's a dick. 411 00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:30,665 But when women do it, it's, like, what? 412 00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:32,543 Feminism or something? 413 00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:39,715 Listen, whatever occurred between us, let's just keep it between us. 414 00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:41,384 Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about us. 415 00:21:41,385 --> 00:21:44,178 - Dad, let's just get out of here. - She has a terrible time with men. 416 00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:45,304 Oh, my God. 417 00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:46,514 What the... 418 00:21:46,515 --> 00:21:48,808 - Why don't we settle down, and-- - Thanks, Professor. 419 00:21:48,809 --> 00:21:50,518 You do not understand what that man is. 420 00:21:50,519 --> 00:21:53,145 - That was extremely interesting. - He is one of the worst human beings 421 00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:54,481 - on the planet. - It's intelligent-- 422 00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:58,360 I think I did very well actually. 423 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:03,699 Okay. It's the White House, Dad, so please. 424 00:22:04,408 --> 00:22:05,700 - Riley. - Hi, Alex. 425 00:22:05,701 --> 00:22:09,036 Oh, my gosh. It was so lovely to see you today. 426 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:12,748 You know, I was actually thinking, I know we discussed the Blue Room, 427 00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:16,377 but I'm wondering if maybe the Roosevelt might be better. 428 00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:18,671 It's not gonna happen after all. I'm sorry. 429 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:20,673 What do you mean it's not gonna happen? 430 00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:21,757 It's timing. 431 00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:22,884 Timing? 432 00:22:22,885 --> 00:22:26,095 I can be to D.C. within two hours' notice. 433 00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:28,807 It's not you. It's your father. 434 00:22:30,726 --> 00:22:32,978 I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. 435 00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:36,522 It's your father. The thing in the Post this morning, 436 00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:39,358 his rant on that podcast. 437 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,737 It doesn't help the ageist narrative we're fighting against with our guy. 438 00:22:42,738 --> 00:22:45,741 - Sorry, Alex. - I understand. Thank you. 439 00:22:52,998 --> 00:22:56,084 - Well, now that you'll have time-- - Don't. Please. 440 00:22:59,213 --> 00:23:01,464 Charlie, will you please take him home? 441 00:23:01,465 --> 00:23:03,591 84th and Central Park West. 442 00:23:03,592 --> 00:23:04,801 Thank you so much. 443 00:23:07,513 --> 00:23:08,888 Weeks. 444 00:23:08,889 --> 00:23:12,558 Weeks of a carefully orchestrated negotiation 445 00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:15,312 and in one day you just blew it up. 446 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:25,030 Jesus. 447 00:23:28,283 --> 00:23:31,077 Don't you ever slam a door in my face again. 448 00:23:31,078 --> 00:23:33,204 Ever. I'm your father. 449 00:23:33,205 --> 00:23:36,958 Don't you ever just barge into my apartment like that again. 450 00:23:36,959 --> 00:23:38,085 Jesus. 451 00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:42,548 - Where are you going? - I'm going to get some air. 452 00:23:48,011 --> 00:23:49,595 Weeks of negotiation? 453 00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:53,975 Try 50 years of service in academia and for what? 454 00:23:53,976 --> 00:23:56,727 You've cost me my legacy. 455 00:23:56,728 --> 00:23:59,689 I did not ask you to plagiarize anything. 456 00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:02,233 I did not plagiarize. Would you please get that 457 00:24:02,234 --> 00:24:04,277 - into your thick skull? - Come on. You didn't listen. 458 00:24:04,278 --> 00:24:06,279 I told you to go home, and you didn't. 459 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,323 And you fucked me and you fucked my interview. 460 00:24:08,907 --> 00:24:11,659 Oh, ho, ho, ho, still blaming everybody else 461 00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:13,828 - for your own failures, are you? - Excuse me. 462 00:24:13,829 --> 00:24:15,162 I do not do that. 463 00:24:15,163 --> 00:24:16,373 That is not true. 464 00:24:16,915 --> 00:24:20,626 And the only person that I actually feel like a failure around is you. 465 00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:22,295 Ever since I was a little kid. 466 00:24:22,296 --> 00:24:26,757 God, isn't the statute of limitations up on your poor old childhood? 467 00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:29,135 Do you remember what you would do to me at dinner every night? 468 00:24:29,136 --> 00:24:33,556 You would quiz me on current events and obscure literature. 469 00:24:33,557 --> 00:24:35,641 I was training your brain to think. 470 00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:39,353 And no matter what I said... trust me, I scoured the news, 471 00:24:39,354 --> 00:24:44,525 I scoured every book in your library, and no matter what, you just dismissed me. 472 00:24:44,526 --> 00:24:45,902 I was testing you. 473 00:24:45,903 --> 00:24:47,069 I never dismissed you. 474 00:24:47,070 --> 00:24:49,030 You just did it. You just did it right there. 475 00:24:49,031 --> 00:24:51,741 You just dismissed the idea of you dismissing me. 476 00:24:51,742 --> 00:24:53,910 Good thing you never went into the law 477 00:24:53,911 --> 00:24:56,078 - because your arguments are not-- - Yes. 478 00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:57,163 Got it. Not smart. 479 00:24:57,164 --> 00:24:58,456 I know, I'm not smart enough. 480 00:24:58,457 --> 00:24:59,916 I'm not academic enough. 481 00:24:59,917 --> 00:25:01,751 I'm just not enough. 482 00:25:01,752 --> 00:25:06,797 It's true that in those days you were not exceptionally incisive. 483 00:25:06,798 --> 00:25:09,217 All you wanted to do was impress 484 00:25:09,218 --> 00:25:12,303 your sycophantic coeds that you would bring over. 485 00:25:12,304 --> 00:25:17,518 Here's the brilliant professor saddled with this simple daughter. 486 00:25:18,435 --> 00:25:20,895 But do you know what? I actually wasn't simple, 487 00:25:20,896 --> 00:25:22,814 I was a ten-year-old. 488 00:25:23,857 --> 00:25:25,983 And I still cleaned out your dirty ashtrays, 489 00:25:25,984 --> 00:25:27,945 cleared the table, did the dishes. 490 00:25:28,654 --> 00:25:29,904 Just you and me. 491 00:25:29,905 --> 00:25:32,615 And yet every time you were around, I felt... 492 00:25:32,616 --> 00:25:36,912 I felt more alone than I ever felt when I actually was alone. 493 00:25:37,871 --> 00:25:41,082 I do not blame Mom for leaving you for one minute. 494 00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:43,292 Don't you talk about your mother. 495 00:25:43,293 --> 00:25:45,628 I know, we don't talk about Mom. I get it. I remember. 496 00:25:45,629 --> 00:25:47,505 But I don't understand. 497 00:25:47,506 --> 00:25:50,925 She was my mother and you just erased her. 498 00:25:50,926 --> 00:25:52,635 You just took her pictures down. 499 00:25:52,636 --> 00:25:55,055 You threw her clothes away and you pushed her. 500 00:25:55,639 --> 00:25:57,266 And you pushed her 501 00:25:58,016 --> 00:26:00,685 and every memory of her out of the house. 502 00:26:00,686 --> 00:26:02,311 And I don't know why. 503 00:26:02,312 --> 00:26:03,896 I never pushed her. 504 00:26:03,897 --> 00:26:05,857 You don't know what... 505 00:26:05,858 --> 00:26:08,568 You were too young. You don't understand. You don't know anything. 506 00:26:08,569 --> 00:26:09,652 I do know this. 507 00:26:09,653 --> 00:26:11,153 You didn't parent me. 508 00:26:11,154 --> 00:26:12,364 I raised myself. 509 00:26:17,286 --> 00:26:19,537 I gave up all manner of things for you. 510 00:26:19,538 --> 00:26:21,789 What great sacrifices? Tell me. 511 00:26:21,790 --> 00:26:24,125 I would love to know what great sacrifices you made. 512 00:26:24,126 --> 00:26:25,293 I'm dying to hear this. 513 00:26:25,294 --> 00:26:26,920 My wife. 514 00:26:28,881 --> 00:26:31,133 I lost my wife. 515 00:26:35,721 --> 00:26:37,680 You want to talk about your mother? 516 00:26:37,681 --> 00:26:40,057 Okay. Fine. 517 00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:41,518 What do you wanna know about her? 518 00:26:42,936 --> 00:26:44,646 She was a true original. 519 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:49,776 She knew the lyrics to every song, she did the crossword in ink. 520 00:26:50,819 --> 00:26:51,986 She loved to dance. 521 00:26:51,987 --> 00:26:55,364 And she made the best martini... We had a great life. 522 00:26:55,365 --> 00:26:57,492 I didn't want anything to change it. 523 00:26:59,077 --> 00:27:00,621 But she'd always... 524 00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:03,832 always gone on about having a child and... 525 00:27:06,293 --> 00:27:08,837 The only thing she'd ever asked for was... 526 00:27:10,172 --> 00:27:11,797 - Was me. - No. I... 527 00:27:11,798 --> 00:27:13,842 I wanted her to be happy. 528 00:27:14,468 --> 00:27:17,595 And she was. She was so happy being pregnant. 529 00:27:17,596 --> 00:27:19,223 And then she gave birth, and... 530 00:27:21,433 --> 00:27:23,602 after the hospital, she wouldn't even hold you. 531 00:27:24,937 --> 00:27:27,898 It was like she fell down a w-well. 532 00:27:28,607 --> 00:27:30,024 Dad, that's postpartum. 533 00:27:30,025 --> 00:27:32,193 It doesn't matter what it was called. 534 00:27:32,194 --> 00:27:33,779 What difference does it make? 535 00:27:34,571 --> 00:27:36,949 It makes all the difference in the world. 536 00:27:38,742 --> 00:27:40,410 My entire life I thought Mom... 537 00:27:41,453 --> 00:27:42,620 left because of you. 538 00:27:42,621 --> 00:27:44,748 Because you're so impossible. 539 00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:48,000 I didn't know she was struggling. 540 00:27:48,001 --> 00:27:49,586 Why wouldn't you tell me this? 541 00:27:51,505 --> 00:27:52,673 Well, there you are. 542 00:27:53,715 --> 00:27:54,716 Now you know. 543 00:27:56,844 --> 00:28:01,556 I mean, I'd come home in the evening and she'd be staring at the ceiling. 544 00:28:01,557 --> 00:28:05,309 And you'd be screaming in a filthy nappy for... 545 00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:06,894 God knows how long. 546 00:28:06,895 --> 00:28:11,733 Oh, well, I tried to get her better, to take care of you both, but... 547 00:28:16,488 --> 00:28:18,365 Then one day she just up and left. 548 00:28:20,909 --> 00:28:24,370 Leaving me with this messy child I didn't want in the first place. 549 00:28:24,371 --> 00:28:25,955 Oh, my God. 550 00:28:25,956 --> 00:28:29,083 A child who looked like her spitting image. 551 00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:31,043 Okay, Dad, stop. 552 00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:32,921 Just stop for a second, please. 553 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,847 You blame me for Mom leaving. 554 00:28:42,848 --> 00:28:48,312 You've resented my entire existence from the day I was born. 555 00:28:52,316 --> 00:28:53,984 So it didn't really matter. 556 00:28:56,695 --> 00:29:00,991 All of those things that I tried to do to get you to see me. 557 00:29:03,619 --> 00:29:04,703 My grades. 558 00:29:06,163 --> 00:29:07,873 My recitals. And my... 559 00:29:08,999 --> 00:29:10,000 career. 560 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,420 None of it really mattered. 561 00:29:17,883 --> 00:29:19,259 Dad, do you know how... 562 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,054 badly I... 563 00:29:23,055 --> 00:29:26,099 I wanted to be somebody that you could love? 564 00:29:35,651 --> 00:29:38,237 And I know you talk about your legacy, Dad, but you... 565 00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:42,699 I didn't cost you your legacy. 566 00:29:47,829 --> 00:29:49,331 'Cause it's me. 567 00:29:52,042 --> 00:29:53,377 I'm your legacy. 568 00:30:42,176 --> 00:30:43,801 I was a septic skeptic. 569 00:30:43,802 --> 00:30:46,137 We can't desalinate the ocean, 570 00:30:46,138 --> 00:30:49,765 how are we going to clean the literal shit out of the dirtiest river in Europe? 571 00:30:49,766 --> 00:30:51,309 It's a good question. 572 00:30:51,310 --> 00:30:53,769 - But I've talked to some scientists. - Wait. Look. 573 00:30:53,770 --> 00:30:55,521 Really? Are they real ones, 574 00:30:55,522 --> 00:30:57,273 or just women on OnlyFans who wear glasses? 575 00:30:57,274 --> 00:31:01,944 Apparently, the new technology that they pioneered 576 00:31:01,945 --> 00:31:04,322 in the Paris cleanup was revolutionary. 577 00:31:04,323 --> 00:31:06,324 I love a good French revolution. 578 00:31:06,325 --> 00:31:09,286 And it's cleaner than Poland Springs now. 579 00:31:09,995 --> 00:31:11,747 Really? Is that so? 580 00:31:12,706 --> 00:31:18,878 Liberté, égalité and most definitely fraternité. 581 00:31:18,879 --> 00:31:21,964 You're not gonna drink that. He's drinking it. Okay! 582 00:31:21,965 --> 00:31:24,718 - That's not safe. - Relax, it's Fiji. 583 00:31:26,011 --> 00:31:27,011 Just for dramatic effect. 584 00:31:27,012 --> 00:31:28,971 That's the guy who sells food supplements? 585 00:31:28,972 --> 00:31:30,097 You're such a snob. 586 00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:32,308 Behold the next Senator from New Jersey... 587 00:31:32,309 --> 00:31:34,018 home of Tony Soprano... 588 00:31:34,019 --> 00:31:35,478 birthplace of the electric lightbulb. 589 00:31:35,479 --> 00:31:37,772 This guy? You're kidding? 590 00:31:37,773 --> 00:31:38,981 I'm supporting his campaign. 591 00:31:38,982 --> 00:31:42,402 He has over a hundred million followers. 592 00:31:42,819 --> 00:31:45,447 By tomorrow, this little story... 593 00:31:46,031 --> 00:31:47,991 will be all over the world. 594 00:31:48,825 --> 00:31:50,953 And you... you're out of your shit. 595 00:31:52,079 --> 00:31:53,247 Don't thank me. 596 00:31:57,334 --> 00:31:58,335 Well done. 597 00:31:59,253 --> 00:32:00,504 I know. 598 00:32:04,675 --> 00:32:06,426 I need you to do something for me. 599 00:32:07,010 --> 00:32:08,427 Well, that's funny. 600 00:32:08,428 --> 00:32:11,222 I didn't realize we were asking favors. 601 00:32:11,223 --> 00:32:14,351 If that's the case, I'd kindly ask you not to kill yourself. How's that? 602 00:32:14,893 --> 00:32:16,310 I'm asking you to listen. 603 00:32:16,311 --> 00:32:18,062 Hey. Let me tell you this. 604 00:32:18,063 --> 00:32:21,023 If this is one of those fucking last rites situations, 605 00:32:21,024 --> 00:32:22,525 you can count me out. I'm not interested. 606 00:32:22,526 --> 00:32:25,570 So, I'm not gonna cosign on to this death sequence. 607 00:32:25,571 --> 00:32:27,738 Do you understand? That answer is no. 608 00:32:27,739 --> 00:32:28,823 It's no, no, no. 609 00:32:28,824 --> 00:32:30,199 - And no. - Cory-- 610 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:31,409 We didn't even go to Antarctica. 611 00:32:31,410 --> 00:32:32,952 - What? - Yeah, you promised me. 612 00:32:32,953 --> 00:32:34,662 After we saw March of the Penguins. 613 00:32:34,663 --> 00:32:36,081 'Cause you said... 614 00:32:37,124 --> 00:32:42,044 you wanted to go to Antarctica before you died and I said yes. 615 00:32:42,045 --> 00:32:43,963 Even though that was the last thing I wanted to do. 616 00:32:43,964 --> 00:32:46,007 Go freeze my ass off to watch a bunch of birds 617 00:32:46,008 --> 00:32:49,594 who can't even fucking fly squawking on shit-covered ice. 618 00:32:49,595 --> 00:32:53,222 I told you that I would go on the only cruise I'd ever go on 619 00:32:53,223 --> 00:32:55,434 because I wanted to be with you. 620 00:32:56,185 --> 00:32:59,771 I did. I don't know why. It's stupid. 621 00:33:00,647 --> 00:33:02,106 But you promised me. 622 00:33:02,107 --> 00:33:05,902 You made a promise, Mom. Yep. And I was really looking forward to it. 623 00:33:05,903 --> 00:33:06,986 I could book the tickets right now. 624 00:33:06,987 --> 00:33:09,030 - We could go. We could still go. - No. Listen, Cory. 625 00:33:09,031 --> 00:33:10,281 You have to listen to me. 626 00:33:10,282 --> 00:33:14,328 Everything I did, I did for you. 627 00:33:15,746 --> 00:33:17,998 From the moment I first held you. 628 00:33:18,874 --> 00:33:21,835 That surge of love went straight to my bones. 629 00:33:23,378 --> 00:33:28,884 You looked at me with those dark, pensive eyes. 630 00:33:29,843 --> 00:33:32,386 Nothing else mattered. 631 00:33:32,387 --> 00:33:34,515 I had to protect you. 632 00:33:35,098 --> 00:33:36,557 From anyone and anything. 633 00:33:36,558 --> 00:33:38,267 - Mom, I don't wanna hear... - No matter what. 634 00:33:38,268 --> 00:33:41,479 - ...my fucking birth story anymore. - Cory! You have to listen to me. 635 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:42,689 You were... 636 00:33:43,774 --> 00:33:48,111 You are the greatest thing I've ever done. 637 00:33:48,987 --> 00:33:52,658 All I ever wanted was for you to succeed, 638 00:33:54,201 --> 00:33:55,494 be happy. 639 00:33:59,248 --> 00:34:00,374 I... 640 00:34:02,918 --> 00:34:05,546 I have to tell you something. 641 00:34:06,839 --> 00:34:08,047 I need to. 642 00:34:10,842 --> 00:34:12,511 - I... - You need to what? 643 00:34:22,353 --> 00:34:23,647 You need to what? 644 00:34:24,731 --> 00:34:25,899 You need to what? 645 00:34:29,402 --> 00:34:30,487 I need to... 646 00:34:32,281 --> 00:34:33,364 see the wig. 647 00:34:36,493 --> 00:34:37,494 Okay. 648 00:36:13,423 --> 00:36:15,342 You're gonna love this movie. 649 00:36:16,718 --> 00:36:18,386 She's a private investigator with a past. 650 00:36:18,387 --> 00:36:20,514 She's beautiful. She doesn't know it. 651 00:36:21,056 --> 00:36:23,266 Just kidding. She knows it. Of course she knows it. 652 00:36:23,267 --> 00:36:25,685 - She absolutely knows it. Look at her. - Yeah. 653 00:36:25,686 --> 00:36:28,312 She's a former district attorney. 654 00:36:28,313 --> 00:36:32,692 Who are, oftentimes, political shills without a moral center. 655 00:36:32,693 --> 00:36:33,818 That's right. 656 00:36:33,819 --> 00:36:38,322 She is a former fascist district attorney who blew the case of a lifetime. 657 00:36:38,323 --> 00:36:41,284 You know, it was one of those cases where the criminal dodges prison 658 00:36:41,285 --> 00:36:42,577 on some kind of technicality. 659 00:36:42,578 --> 00:36:45,621 We call that a constitutional violation, honey. 660 00:36:45,622 --> 00:36:46,956 A constitutional violation. 661 00:36:46,957 --> 00:36:49,709 So here she is. And she has been haunted by it. 662 00:36:49,710 --> 00:36:50,877 It's followed her around. 663 00:36:50,878 --> 00:36:52,378 So now she's burnt out. 664 00:36:52,379 --> 00:36:56,924 She's a burnt out former district attorney turned private investigator. 665 00:36:56,925 --> 00:37:00,012 And then she gets this sexy new client 666 00:37:00,721 --> 00:37:02,389 who's accused of murdering his wife. 667 00:37:03,557 --> 00:37:08,186 And at first she doesn't trust him because, well, he has a... 668 00:37:08,187 --> 00:37:10,188 - Beard. - A beard. Obviously. 669 00:37:10,189 --> 00:37:12,190 And so that leads to a fight. 670 00:37:12,191 --> 00:37:14,358 He says some terrible things. 671 00:37:14,359 --> 00:37:18,654 She leaves in a huff, and she thinks, "Fuck this. I'm not gonna do this case." 672 00:37:18,655 --> 00:37:19,740 And then she stops. 673 00:37:20,574 --> 00:37:22,700 She turns around and she says... 674 00:37:22,701 --> 00:37:26,495 My favorite line in the entire movie. 675 00:37:26,496 --> 00:37:29,248 And I made the writer put it in because 676 00:37:29,249 --> 00:37:32,043 of course he doesn't know how women actually talk. 677 00:37:32,044 --> 00:37:34,546 She turns around and she says... 678 00:37:36,965 --> 00:37:38,008 Mom! 679 00:37:40,928 --> 00:37:41,970 Mom? 680 00:40:28,804 --> 00:40:30,888 Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. 681 00:40:30,889 --> 00:40:33,015 The person you're trying to reach is unavailable. 682 00:40:33,016 --> 00:40:35,227 At the tone, please record your message. 683 00:40:35,936 --> 00:40:38,856 Hey. It's me. 684 00:40:39,606 --> 00:40:41,358 What are you doing right now? 685 00:40:43,110 --> 00:40:44,194 Let's go skiing! 686 00:40:58,959 --> 00:41:00,210 Cory. 687 00:41:01,170 --> 00:41:04,214 Wow. You look like shit. 688 00:41:05,382 --> 00:41:06,884 Long story. 689 00:41:30,616 --> 00:41:31,617 Oh, yeah. 690 00:41:38,540 --> 00:41:40,583 I got this one from Columbia House. 691 00:41:40,584 --> 00:41:42,168 But you don't have that in France? 692 00:41:42,169 --> 00:41:44,003 Do you guys have Columbia House? 693 00:41:44,004 --> 00:41:45,630 Maison de Colombie? 694 00:41:45,631 --> 00:41:47,173 - No? - No, no. 695 00:41:47,174 --> 00:41:53,596 In the '80s and '90s we had an institution called Columbia House. 696 00:41:53,597 --> 00:41:56,015 Which was... It was a mail-order CD club 697 00:41:56,016 --> 00:41:58,809 that was catering mostly to teenagers who had no fucking money. 698 00:41:58,810 --> 00:42:02,438 They would say "Sign up, and we'll send you free CDs." 699 00:42:02,439 --> 00:42:05,191 All of their free CDs, they were shitty CDs. 700 00:42:05,192 --> 00:42:06,400 That was the con. 701 00:42:06,401 --> 00:42:08,402 We just kept ordering. 702 00:42:08,403 --> 00:42:11,072 Yeah. Not buying. The American Dream. 703 00:42:11,073 --> 00:42:13,449 We would just sift through all the shit until finally 704 00:42:13,450 --> 00:42:16,453 we would land some good music like Iggy or Led Zeppelin or... 705 00:42:18,288 --> 00:42:21,457 on the very rare occasion, a Smiths album. 706 00:42:21,458 --> 00:42:24,836 Just on the off chance that a girl might cross the threshold... 707 00:42:24,837 --> 00:42:28,549 the virginal, virginal threshold of my childhood bedroom. 708 00:42:30,217 --> 00:42:32,593 The rest of our lives would never compare to the halcyon days 709 00:42:32,594 --> 00:42:35,472 when we got all the music we ever wanted in the mail for pennies. 710 00:42:40,727 --> 00:42:43,146 Long live the days of Columbia House. 711 00:42:44,314 --> 00:42:46,983 When I thought my parents were embarrassing, 712 00:42:46,984 --> 00:42:49,444 they knew everything and they'd always be around. 713 00:42:51,697 --> 00:42:53,907 Yeah, constant, like... 714 00:42:56,118 --> 00:42:57,411 the northern star. 715 00:42:58,954 --> 00:43:01,206 Constantly in the darkness. 716 00:43:02,082 --> 00:43:03,333 Where's that at? 717 00:43:06,211 --> 00:43:07,921 If you want me, I'll be at the bar. 718 00:43:24,521 --> 00:43:26,480 - Are you all right? - Yeah. 719 00:43:26,481 --> 00:43:28,483 This feels really good. You should try it. 720 00:44:10,484 --> 00:44:12,026 Hi, you've reached Bradley Jackson. 721 00:44:12,027 --> 00:44:13,862 Leave a message and I'll get back to you. 722 00:44:30,254 --> 00:44:31,338 Bradley? 723 00:44:31,922 --> 00:44:32,923 You were right. 724 00:44:34,341 --> 00:44:36,093 I've been doing a lot of thinking. 725 00:44:37,886 --> 00:44:39,847 Of course I will support your travel. 726 00:44:40,681 --> 00:44:42,682 I will. Just, honey, open the door. 727 00:44:42,683 --> 00:44:43,767 Come on. 728 00:44:44,893 --> 00:44:45,894 Hey. 729 00:44:46,562 --> 00:44:47,562 What are you doing here? 730 00:44:47,563 --> 00:44:48,730 Where's Bradley? 731 00:44:51,567 --> 00:44:53,026 She went to Belarus. 732 00:44:55,737 --> 00:44:56,864 Of course she did. 733 00:44:58,073 --> 00:44:59,074 Alex, 734 00:45:00,117 --> 00:45:03,161 she was supposed to check in with me every three hours, it's been six. 735 00:45:04,037 --> 00:45:05,706 I called my contact at the IMF, 736 00:45:06,290 --> 00:45:08,709 - they think she's being detained. - What? 737 00:45:09,293 --> 00:45:11,086 And we know what they do to journalists over there. 56560

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