Original subtitles

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hello?

Hey, Miriam.

10 .30.

Is he not home yet?

Yeah, he was supposed to come straight home.

Okay, let me call Lindsay and see if he's at Ryan's house.

Okay, I'll call you right back.

Damn it, Gregory.

Hi, Lindsay, it's Beth.

I'm just wondering if the boys are at your place because Gregory's not home

he was supposed to be home about an hour ago. So just call me back on my phone

when you can.

Bye.

Sure? Check?

Yeah.

Actually, can you, um... Would you sell me a bottle? I don't... Hello?

Shit.

Can you give me those?

Yeah, all right.

All right.

I got something down here.

How's that?

Burp? Yeah.

I'll get you a bag.

Thanks.

There

you

go. Get some change. No, that's all you. No, come on. No. Come on. That's all

you, man. You sure?

Yeah, thanks.

Thanks, bro.

Have a good night.

You too.

Hi, Miriam. Sorry, my phone died.

Um, okay, I just walked into work.

Uh, any news?

Okay, well, um... Oh, shit, can you hold on one second?

Hi, I'm so, so sorry. I forgot to disarm the security system.

Okay, I'm here.

I'm going to find a charger, plug in my phone, call Ryan's mom back, see if he's

there.

And actually, in the meantime, can you call me back at 866 -555 -8221?

Yeah, it's 555 -8221.

Okay, and I know I'm a broken record at this point, Miriam, but...

I don't know why you didn't come home.

He was supposed to be there, so... You are a godsend.

Okay, I'll call you the second I hear anything.

Okay, bye -bye.

Hi, Jeff. It's Beth.

Look, I have a thing that might not be a thing, but I was just wondering if

there was anyone else available to come in tonight to cover me.

Yeah, just call me back at work.

I'm here.

Fucking kidding me.

Hey Miriam, is he home?

Miriam?

Hello?

Hi, Miriam. Did you just call?

Oh.

Uh, okay.

Um, is he home?

Okay. Um, I'll talk to you soon, I guess.

Okay, thanks. Yeah, bye.

Our business hours are Monday through Friday, 8 a .m. to 5 p .m.

Sorry, sir, we're closed.

You're closed?

Yeah.

The night programs don't even go this late, and I'm only here a few nights a

week.

You're a volunteer?

Well, with what they pay me, it kind of feels like it, yes.

Okay, but you're working tonight?

Yeah, but...

I actually don't usually answer the phones.

Okay.

Sir? Who's answering the phones?

No one. No one tonight.

Can I take a message for you or something?

A message?

Yeah, they'll call you back tomorrow or I guess whenever they're in next.

People leave messages?

Uh, yeah.

What did they say?

I need help?

Yeah, sure.

And then you call people back?

Well, I don't. I'm just a student.

Like you're in training?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm in a program here.

Sir. I'm sorry. I'm confused.

You're in training, but you're by yourself.

And you don't answer the phone, so... What if people call?

It's not my problem. They'll leave a message.

Look, listen, sir, I need to leave this line open in case someone calls me about

my son, so... Is your son okay?

Oh, he won't be if he doesn't get his ass home.

How old is he?

He's 12.

Going on 20.

A little troublemaker?

No, not exactly.

He went to go see a movie with his friend, and now he's not home to watch

little brother. My sister has to stay late, and I don't even pay her, so that

makes me feel terrible.

Hello?

Sounds like Kudo.

Well, you know what? Spaghetti nights are supposed to be so simple.

What is spaghetti night?

Oh, it's something that me and my parents used to do every Thursday, but

single mom with two jobs and school, it doesn't always pan out.

What? I mean, it's just spaghetti.

I'm sure they'll get over it. No, that's not the thing. They rotate picking

activities every week, and Gregory really wanted to go see the ball game,

friend got us tickets I could never afford, and of course someone called me

to come to work, and I really need the cash.

out to see a movie?

Yeah, that I had to pay for, and his friend, out of guilt.

Plus popcorn, you know?

Come to think of it, I'm not even making that much extra money on this shift, so

I should have just said no.

I'm so sorry, sir.

I completely just unloaded on you there.

Well, that's okay.

Kids have that effect.

Yeah, you have kids?

I used to.

Used to?

How old is your other boy?

He's seven.

Look, sir, can I take a message for you or something?

I was just calling the number to

talk to someone.

Can you hold on one second?

Hello?

Hi, Jeff, yes.

It's Beth. Look, um...

I have a thing with my son.

He's not home.

And I was just wondering if there was anybody that could come in and cover my

shift tonight in case I have to go find him.

Yeah, just hold on one second.

Miriam, uh, just checking, is he home?

Okay. I'll call you back later.

Yeah.

Jeff, he is not home.

I know.

Um... Yeah.

Okay.

I'll talk to you soon. Bye.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Sir, I'm sorry.

Hello? Hello?

Yes, I'm sorry.

What is this?

Excuse me?

Is this 1 -866 -555 -8221?

Uh, yeah.

Where did I call?

Gateway.

What's that?

Gateway Career Center.

What's so funny?

Don't stand at that number for a long time.

Okay.

one of those posters?

Oh, yeah, the buff ads.

No, um... One of those, uh... You're not alone.

If you need help, call this number.

Uh... I'm sorry, sir, what do you need help with?

a pretty shitty year, and I, uh... I just didn't want to feel alone.

Um, you're calling a helpline?

Yeah.

I thought so.

Just, um... I might be talking with someone.

Uh, yes.

I thought maybe you hung up on me. No, no, um... Uh... I just...

I didn't know what to say.

Is your son okay?

What?

Your son.

Oh. You said you were waiting for someone to call about him.

Yeah, no.

I know, I was just calling someone to cover my shift tonight.

Oh.

I see. Sincerely, I hope that everything is okay with your son. Sir, are you

okay? You're slurring your words.

No, I was at the bar earlier.

Okay, so you're drunk.

I can't even tell anymore.

Are you sure that's a good idea?

Yeah.

Okay. Do you go out much?

Uh, no.

No, I don't have the time or the money.

Or the money part I get, but don't let anyone tell you that you don't have time

to drink. Well, I fend off for my time working so I can make a better life for

my boys, who I never see, so I hope they appreciate that one day.

And they will.

And then they won't.

And after therapy, they might again.

Please don't say that.

Therapy was the only hope I had for my daughter to talk to me.

Your daughter doesn't talk to you?

No, she lives in another city.

Oh, is that why you said you used to have kids?

Is it?

No.

I had a son.

Okay.

He died.

I'm so, so sorry.

No, don't. It's... You know, some days it feels like it was a

lifetime ago.

Yeah. It was four years ago today.

I mean, I... I can't imagine.

If anything happened to my voice, I would... Drink a lot? Call a

helpline?

Yeah, I probably would.

So you're drinking right now?

No.

Okay.

What's your name?

Scott. Scott.

Hi, Scott.

Wait, why do you need my name?

Oh, I just want to know who I'm talking to.

You know, I'm sorry.

You're working. No. And I'm bothering you. No, Scott, it's totally fine.

No, I shouldn't. Scott, are you, um... Uh...

Do you have anyone else that you could talk to? Like, um, friends or family?

No. My family doesn't want anything to do with me.

A co -worker?

Or a girlfriend?

I think someone calls a suicide hotline if they... If people care about them.

Are you thinking about suicide?

I should let you go. No. This isn't... It's absolutely fine.

Do you think about that a lot? Did you get your shift covered?

No.

Um, I actually should keep cleaning.

Cleaning?

I clean the, um, I clean the college.

You're the janitor?

Well, night custodian if you want to get technical.

Okay, so talking to a student's perfectly fine, but if she happens to

scrubbing toilets, that's where you draw the line? No, no, no, I'm laughing at

me. Why?

Hang on a second.

Believe me, I've been unemployed for years. I got no room to judge.

Okay, so you don't work?

No, not for a while.

And what did you used to do?

I was a corporate asshole.

Okay.

If I tried to explain what my job was, I'd put us both to sleep.

Your boys, what does their dad do?

Oh, I don't know.

I mean, my wild guess would be absolutely nothing.

He's not around? He doesn't... No, he left.

He left about 30 seconds after I found out I was pregnant with my second boy.

If I could divorce him.

Trust me, I would.

Just have to find him.

You can divorce him. You don't have to find him.

How does that work?

My wife divorced me without me finding a damn thing.

Oh.

Well, that's good news.

Not about you getting divorced, but you know what I mean.

Yeah, I know.

So,

you were married?

That's a very important first step towards divorce.

Right.

And what was she like, your ex?

Amanda.

Yeah, Amanda.

She was... complicated.

Well, was she a good mom, at least?

The best.

And your daughter lives with her?

I can't do this.

Scott?

Hello?

Scott?

Scott, I can hear you.

You know, I never really had a beat on Amanda the whole time we were married.

Look, Scott, I really want to talk to you, but you can't just put...

The phone down like that, it kind of scares me.

You know what I mean?

Sorry.

Hello? She, uh... Well, she was... She was always one step ahead of me

on everything, you know? It was... It was like being new stuff.

Oh, like a psychic?

Almost.

Yeah, she would, um...

It was hard to describe.

I asked her about it once.

She told me she had no idea what I was talking about, but then she shot me this

look that said, I know exactly what you're talking about, and you'll never

figure me out.

It was kind of sexy.

It was something to chase after.

Then it started to feel more like a trap.

She'd give me one of those knowing looks, and I'd start racking my brain

to figure out, What I've done.

You know, like those shows where people confess to committing a crime they never

committed because the police have them so spun around convinced of their own

guilt that they go, well, shit, maybe I did do something.

So, did you do something?

No.

No?

What?

What do you mean?

Scott, do you have any hobbies?

Hobbies?

Yeah, things that you like to do.

I like to make cocktails.

Okay.

You like cocktails?

Yeah, sure.

Never had a Manhattan?

No, I don't think so. What's a Manhattan?

A Manhattan, in my opinion, is the best drink to order at a new bar.

Or if you've got a new bartender.

Because it's simple, but it's easy to mess up.

If they make you a good Manhattan, you can pretty much trust them with any

drink they make.

There's only a few ingredients.

Um,

why?

How do you bruise the alcohol?

That's a real thing?

Oh, yeah.

How do you bruise the alcohol?

Well, I mean, it's just a term. It means you cause the alcohol to oxidize.

Some people say it makes the drink taste sharper, but those people are idiots.

Well, you'll have to make me one sometime.

Hmm.

Do you have any other hobbies?

No, not really.

What about things you and Amanda like to do?

Travel?

Amanda?

She was always smarter than me.

She knew it, too.

She would push all my buttons.

And it was like she knew things about me before even I did.

Like what?

Like Katie.

Who's Katie?

This woman who started at my work.

Okay. She was young and pretty.

Mm -hmm.

All the guys took notice.

And thinking back, I'm not really sure if she was that pretty or if it was that

thing where...

Someone seems hot because they're hotter than everyone else at work.

Yeah. And you put them out in the real world and they may not even be in the

20%, you know? Yeah, well, I've definitely known a few guys like that.

Let's see.

Anyway, Katie had been at work for maybe a month before we had this big

Christmas party.

Amanda took one look at her.

Said, watch out for that one. She likes you.

Thought she was crazy.

Then next week at work, the guys from accounting came up and said Katie was

asking about me after the party.

Okay.

I started taking the long way from my office to the break room.

Decided to go past her desk.

Make eye contact and she'd smile.

That would be it.

And then she'd say hello, and I'd say hello.

Before you know it, I'm spending like 20 minutes a day talking to her at her

desk.

And what would you guys talk about?

I couldn't even tell you.

That's what we didn't talk about.

I hadn't had that much sexual tension with someone.

However, not even with Amanda.

Probably because we had sex the night we met.

Yeah. Had to build tension like that.

So did you have an affair?

What?

Jesus.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you?

No.

Oh.

I mean...

I thought about it.

Right. Too much.

Started going out for drinks with the guys after work because I knew Katie

go.

Well, it sounds like you and Katie had a really good connection.

Have you talked to her recently or reached out?

When Amanda found out Katie was one of the guys, she... She what?

I mean, I knew I was probably doing something wrong, but Amanda made me feel

like I robbed a bank or something.

So what did you do?

Stopped going out after work. I didn't really have much of a choice.

No, that's probably a good idea.

So that's what my ex was like.

And why did you guys get divorced?

She couldn't... After our son.

After what?

What about you? Your baby daddy sounds like a real piece of shit.

Was he always that way?

Or did he slowly become that way like the rest of us?

No, I don't... You know, we were really young when we met.

He was my first love, and...

I held on to that a lot longer than I should have.

Yeah.

Men are sometimes pre -programmed to disappoint.

Well, you don't sound so bad, Scott.

I'm worse.

Why do you say that?

That's what I've been told.

By who, Amanda?

Her, too.

Scott, um... Hmm?

Why did you call a helpline tonight?

You can talk to me.

You know, we can, um... We can take advantage of the anonymity that we have.

Anonymity?

Whatever.

You know what I mean?

Much freer to talk to someone without any history or judgment.

You sound like one of those helpless.

I'm being serious.

I know.

So... So you had a son?

And how old was he when he died?

Hi, I'm currently on the phone with someone who I think is depressed and

harm themselves, and I feel like anything I say may set them off, so I'm

really sure what to do.

Make sure they agree that they aren't going to harm themselves.

Oh, okay. Keep them on the phone until you're sure that they are safe.

Okay, and how do I do that?

Are they still on the line now? Made a deal with the universe.

What?

Call the helpline.

If they can talk me out of it.

I'd say the universe has made itself perfectly clear.

Talk you out of what, Scott?

Scott, are you thinking about, um... Are you thinking about killing yourself?

Just letting go.

Letting go of what?

Everything.

Fear. Hope.

Just... Accepting.

Accepting what, Scott?

No one wants me here.

No, I want you here.

You don't know me.

No, but I do.

I do want you here, and I know that your daughter would want you here. No, she

doesn't. Yes, she would.

Mm -mm.

Scott, when I was young, my father...

abandon our family, and I hated him.

But there was always a little part of me that wished he was still around.

And I know that your daughter feels that way, too.

Not Emily.

How old is she?

Seventeen.

She just graduated.

Oh, that's exciting.

She asked me not to be there.

She said that?

That's the thing no one tells you about rock bottom.

It doesn't exist.

There's just harder levels buried underneath all the shit, and when you

them, they break you into a million pieces.

And you just keep going.

Um, Scott, I'm not really sure what you mean.

She sent me a letter a few months ago.

Okay, she sent you a letter.

That's great. You know, maybe that's just how she wants to communicate with

I don't think so.

Why would you say that?

She had it right in her back.

Okay, and?

They all came back, returned the sender.

All of them?

Yeah.

Did you have the right address?

Yes.

I recognized the handwriting on the envelopes.

And, uh... She said everything she wanted to say.

And what did she say?

Nothing.

Cut.

You want me to read you the letter?

Uh, you don't have to.

I'll read you the letter.

Okay.

Dad, with my graduation approaching, I've been really thinking about it, and

asking you not to attend.

Mom and I are just starting to be happy again, and every time you come around,

it cancels that out.

Mom cries for days afterwards.

You're always drunk.

It's embarrassing.

All my friends know about you and Dylan.

I hate the way they look at you.

It makes me look at you different, too.

I'm going to college in the fall, but no one knows me.

I could just be Emily and not that poor girl.

But that man's other kid.

Dylan's sister.

I need that.

I'm sorry if this hurts you.

But I have to start looking out for myself.

Signed, Emily Brooks.

She's going by her mom's maiden name now. That's fun.

And why would she say all those things?

Because she... She hates me.

No. No, Scott. I'm sure she doesn't hate you.

I'm sure she's hurting.

I'm the one that's hurting her.

Why are you hurting her?

It's not her fault. She listened to her mom and her aunt saying nothing good

about me.

And I'm starting to believe it.

Believe what?

I'm a monster.

I'm a terrible person.

Faith, well, you're his father.

I was in the car, too. Did you know that?

What car?

I was in a coma for five days.

Amanda had to make the decision to take Dylan off life support while I was in

the coma. She never forgave me for that.

Another thing.

I'm so, so sorry, Scott.

I... I don't know what to do. Did you know that the Sazerac was the first

cocktail?

Um, what?

Yeah. It was invented in New Orleans. This guy, Cashout, or however you

pronounce that. He was filling these bitters and he mixed it with French

and made the first cocktail.

Scott.

What?

Do you think... Do you think it would be useful to talk about your son?

No.

Dylan was your son?

Yes.

And how old was he?

I've been talking about him.

Why? I've talked about him enough for ten lifetimes. I've been talking about

with... My parents, I talked about him with my brothers. I talked about him

the guys at AA.

The only one who won't talk to me about him is Amanda because she blames me.

Why does Amanda blame you?

I was out after work.

I hadn't gone out in months and only went because I knew Katie would be

Amanda called to say she was...

Run him late and couldn't get Dylan from soccer practice, and could I do it?

And then there'd be a fight.

Okay.

That doesn't make it your fault.

It wasn't my fault.

I always complained about it choking him, and I probably just let it go. I

wasn't far from the soccer field to the house. Yeah, and accidents happen, you

know. No, no, no, no. Don't say that.

But it's true.

You don't get to say that to me.

People think stupid shit like that to me all the time. I'm sorry, Scott. I'm

just trying to help you.

Accidents happen.

You know, it happens for a reason. God works in mysterious ways. Well, fuck

It should have been me that died.

It should have been me. Why do I get to go on living, huh?

Huh?

Scott?

Hi, I just got off the phone with someone who I think might be planning to

themselves, and I'm just not sure what to do.

Okay, ma 'am, where is he? He's at his house. What's the address?

I don't know.

Do you have his phone number?

No, I don't.

What is his name?

His name is Scott.

Scott, last name?

I don't know what his...

No, I understand what you're saying, but you don't understand, okay? He called

me, and now he hung up, and I don't know what to do, okay?

Ma 'am, if he calls again, get an address, and we can send some help.

Right now, I have to keep this line open, okay?

No, please. Ma 'am, I have to keep this line open. No, but please, just help me.

I don't know what to do. All right, we'll do what we can if you can provide

with more information.

Uh... Um...

Hi, Amanda Brooks.

Yes, who's this?

Yes, hi.

My name is Beth, and I was just wondering if your ex -husband's name is

don't have anything to do with him. I completely understand that, but I just

want to let you know that I have an emergency, and I really need... I have

go. Please don't.

You know what to do.

Hey, it's Dad.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

you

Hello? Hello?

I'm sorry, I yelled.

Sorry. What did you say?

I'm sorry, I yelled.

Um, no, that's fine.

I was just, um, I was just really upset that you hung up.

I didn't.

I accidentally pulled the phone cord out of the wall.

Okay, Scott, um, do you think that you could give me your number in case we get

disconnected again?

You ever had a Rob Roy?

Um, no.

Like a Manhattan, but they make it with scotch.

It was actually invented in Manhattan by a bartender.

Named it after an opera about a Scottish folk hero.

God, are you, uh... Are you still drinking?

Maybe.

Do you think that we could, um... We could keep talking without any more

Do you think that's a good idea?

Yeah.

Hello?

Ever think about what happens when we die?

No.

No, I don't.

I do.

All the time.

Scott, maybe we can talk about something else, like your daughter and maybe

where she's going. Do you never think about what happens when you die?

No, I don't really like to think about that.

Nobody likes to think about bad shit happening.

That's why no one knows what to do when it does.

Scott, what's your address?

I don't believe in hell.

Unless this is it, which would make sense.

Scott, where do you live?

I think Einstein was close.

Einstein?

you know einstein said that energy can't be created or destroyed so i figure

our energy just keeps on going after we kick it

oh scott look just keeps on going doing whatever it

was doing before i got here i guess god i want you to listen okay i know i could

never understand you know like but it's in a different

Scott, I know that you were the driver.

And I know that you were drunk.

And I know that you feel hopeless right now.

But I want you to know that you don't have to be ashamed and that I would like

to talk to you. So if you could give me your number or your address, I would

love to come meet you face to face.

Maybe I could come over tomorrow.

No, I can't tomorrow.

Why?

Why can't you tomorrow?

I figured if there was something after this world that... Scott. You know, our

loved ones or whomever would send messages. Scott, when you

weren't on the phone, I was really worried about you.

Then I thought... Okay.

And I want you to know that I'm here. If you need someone to listen and that you

don't have to feel ashamed.

We just don't have the right radio to hear it.

God, can you just answer me? To be in the middle of nowhere.

I'm just trying to send those messages.

God, I need you to tell me where you live.

Okay?

Maybe it's like when we send stuff into space.

God, I would like to come over and meet you. We don't know who or if anyone's

ever going to hear it.

God,

there's still so much.

God,

there's still so much I don't know about you, and I would like to get to know

you a little bit more, okay?

Literally just like it is now.

Just like there is nothing.

Scott, there isn't nothing, okay?

I'm here.

And I want to talk to you.

Okay? And I want you to know that I care about you.

Okay?

And that you're not alone.

You're so nice.

I just... I wish I could have talked to someone who didn't... Who didn't know

for once.

Who didn't... Who didn't see me like that. I'm so sorry.

Just one last time.

God, please don't say things like that, okay?

Okay?

You don't have to say things like that, okay? You're safe.

And I care about you. I really do.

You don't have to be ashamed.

I should have had the affair.

You're right.

Why would you say that?

If I had slept with Katie, everything would be okay.

God, don't say things like that, okay?

That's not true.

It's true.

No.

No, no.

Divorce me.

Emily even talked to me.

Family probably disowned me.

But Dylan would still be alive.

Scott. I want you to know that you don't have to feel hopeless, okay?

Can you just tell me that you're going to be okay?

You say those words to me? I care.

I really, really do care.

I really do.

Okay. I don't feel good.

You don't feel good?

What?

God,

did you take pills?

God?

God, did you take pills?

God?

God, please answer me, okay?

God?

God, are you okay?

Scott, just talk to me, okay?

You're going to be okay. I promise.

I promise. Hello?

Hi, Amanda. Please don't hang up. Please, I have Scott on the other line,

need his address, okay? I already told you, I don't have... I understand that,

but this is an emergency. I think he's... I think he's going to kill

Please, give me his... You need to call the police. I did call the police.

They need an address or a phone number, okay? Amanda! I do not have an address

or a phone number. Get me an address, please!

You don't under...

Emily, is Emily there?

How do you know Emily? She wrote him a letter. She has this address. Please go

get her.

What? Go get her. Okay, okay.

Scott. Emily.

Scott. Did you write a letter to your dad? Scott, I'm here, okay? Scott. Can

just say something?

Can you just say something?

Just give me the address, please.

1474 Main Street, Upper Main, 1722 Cherry Hill. Yeah.

Okay. Sorry, I didn't know she was sending a letter, and I'm going to have

talk to her.

Scott.

Scott. Do you think something is going to happen to me?

Yes, you have to send an ambulance to 1474 Main Street, Apartment 1722 Cherry

Hill. Please hurry up. Yes, please stay here. Yes, I'm currently on the phone

with someone who I think is trying to kill himself. He took a lot of pills

he's been drinking and he's not responding completely.

What's his name? His name is Scott.

Okay. Scott Richardson.

Okay, and just repeat the address.

Yes, it's 1474 Main Street, Apartment

1722, Cherry Hill.

Please just hurry.

You don't understand. He's not... Are you on the phone with him right now?

I'm currently on the phone, but he's not responding to me. I don't know what to

do. Okay, stay calm.

Help is on his way right now. Yes, thank you.

Scott?

Scott?

Talk to me, okay? Scott, just talk to me. Just say something, okay? Tell me

you're going to be okay.

Say those words. Just tell me you're going to be okay.

Who are you talking to?

Scott?

Scott, just say I'm going to be okay.

Scott, please don't do this to me.

Please don't do this to me, Scott.

Scott, just think about Emily, okay? She doesn't want you to go. She doesn't

want you.

Scott, answer the door.

Scott, go answer the door, please. They're there to help you. Please answer

door. Scott!

Hello? Hi, baby.

No.

No, I'm not mad.

No. I'm just happy you're home.

I'm just happy you're home.

Yeah.

No, I'll be home soon, okay, baby?

I'm sorry.

Okay, I love you.

Can you say it back to me, please?

Okay, I'll talk to you soon, baby.

Bye.

I sedate my mind with hope of your return.

Just enough to weigh me down.

I can fake my heart and I love to watch it burn.

But it knows you ain't around.