All language subtitles for The Real Housewives of New York City – S15E5

Okay, so you're probably thinking, is
this a Lancome commercial or what?

But I actually have a way normal life
for a New York girl.

Are you looking at her wrist? This girl
has money, okay? She always earns

diamonds for breakfast.

The only problem is my friend group is a
total Monet.

From afar, we're fabulous.

Cheers. But up close?

It's a total mess.

Her condescending tone is very
frustrating.

You are a snake. Nobody sees you coming.
I want to get the out of here.

I'm not happy with this.

It's worse than the Pismo Beach
disaster.

I think it's like gum or something, like
coffee. I feel like it sticks to your

tongue or whatever.

Yeah, but always after coffee, you need
gum.

Oh, look at this.

We need lettuce.

Yes. Lots of it.

Oh, my God, this is so exciting. Look at
all this stuff that we need.

Wait, so what's the plan? The garden is
essentially four by eight.

If I go to Whole Foods one more time and
spend $400 on three bags of groceries

that look like nothing is in my fridge,
I'm going to go crazy.

But for whatever reason, Whole Foods has
me in a chokehold.

These tomatoes are aggressive, I feel
like.

What are they called? Are they called
side to silvers? What is this?

I'm not a fighter. I am more of a zen
person now. You're the zen tomato?

Organic is expensive.

So I'm going to grow my own garden.

Cilantro's here, no?

Right here. Boom.

Parsley. Okay.

Do we just get one or should we get two?

I would get two, but they grow pretty...
Pretty quickly? Yeah.

I really hope this turns out the way I'm
envisioning in my head. It's not going

to because you're leaving it all on me.

But what is the key here, for us to use
it for food or for you to take pretty

pictures of it?

Both. Oh, see, that's the problem.

I got a new house upstate two years ago.

I think we have enough stuff.

We're there in the summer and on the
weekend.

Total is...

One ninety three. Amazing. Thank you so
much. If it was up to my husband, all of

us would end up living upstate and
starting a farm. Honey, I would never

I'm a New Yorker forever.

Listen, if I don't hear sirens and
people say you early in the morning, I

feel safe.

I do not do quiet. Quiet is not for me.

Do you think I look like Michael
Jackson? You do look sort of like

Jackson. It's my vibe for today.

Okay, so listen, Aunt Sophia's coming
in.

Amazing. This week, which I'm very
excited to see her. Her birthday just

She only wants to drink beer with me.
She really likes beer, which is so

interesting. It's a Brazilian thing.
Women drinking beer. That's her

thing. It is a very big beer culture.

Aunt Sophia is my mom's sister, and she
is like a mom to me.

Can you help with this rice?

You mean, can I make the rice, don't
you? Yeah, of course. She's so helpful.

She cooks all the time.

She watches the kids.

And by all means, I'm not asking her to
do any of these things, but she

genuinely just enjoys being with family.

She's the best.

I decided that it's time to get my mom
out of her box.

My mother's ashes are in a shopping bag
in my closet.

In a shopping bag. I think she likes
your closet.

Well, she fell on my foot.

So I was just like, okay, Mom, I get it.

In therapy, I've been doing a lot of
dealing with my feelings, and I think

is finally the time to take my mom out
of the closet and just honor her in a

that I'm ready to. I have my mom in a
box for two years. It's so messed up.

I don't think it's messed up at all.
Everybody grieves differently. I know.

this is obviously the right time for
you.

Grief comes in waves, but time makes
things a little bit easier.

I've accepted that she's in a better
place, in a peaceful place.

Yeah. And she wasn't very peaceful when
she was here, so.

No, she was definitely struggling at the
end, but. I think I've just come to

grips with that, and she should be in,
like, nature and woods. I agree. And

that's what she really loves, so I think
that we should put her in an urn, take

her upstate, and, like, she can hang out
there. Yeah, but should we have that

urn in the house, right?

take a bit of her ashes in a smaller
urn, and plant that with a tree outside.

I think it would be amazing.

That would be so nice. My mom did get a
chance to visit us upstate, and she just

loved it. And I could just picture her
coming up on the weekend, painting

outside under the trees with my kids,
and I think it would just be such a

beautiful experience.

I feel like I have some, is that a nose
hair?

Yeah, like tuck it in.

You know the problem is when you get
old. It's like light.

I know. You get gray nose hairs when you
get old. Oh, my God. That's the longest

nose hair I've ever seen.

Are

you

ever going to take these off? I am not
taking these things off.

Have it.

You have, like, dents on your nose.
Yeah.

It's my newest toy.

Ask me a question so I can ask my AI.
What is your IQ?

What is my IQ?

Seriously? Personal information.

Madison, astronomical.

Astronomical? Astronomical. Yeah, I
don't know about that. I think she said

personal information.

What are you up to?

Just working.

I have so much to do. I have to plan
this birthday.

How's it coming along?

Well, you have been useless, as per
usual.

I think that's for the better for the
both of us. Maybe you could help me a

little bit. Sure, how can I help?

I don't know. I have, like, so many
things to do.

You know my theme.

You know I've never seen it, right?
You've never seen Clueless? No.

The boy grew up in L .A. How have you
never seen Clueless? Seems like it was a

really old movie.

It's 1995.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah. Ages ago.

Clueless is my all -time favorite movie.

But it's more Star Wars and, like, Star
Trek. Like, he's not cool.

It's so cute. It's like about high
school, like drama and dating.

And the fashion is ridiculous. And it's
about this girl who lives in Beverly

Hills. Oh, I know Beverly Hills. Yeah.
She's outrageous. And she's like a

daddy's girl. Sound familiar?

I mean, I always wanted to like be the
rich bitch in California, Beverly Hills.

Like that life seems very glamorous.

I'm going to be Cher.

Who's this girl?

What's her costume going to be? Oh, this
is what she's known for. This isn't a

liar. This is, like, a very, very famous
line. And I'm going to switch my

outfits.

You're going to switch your outfits in
the middle of the party?

Yeah.

Why? So I'm giving different looks.

Well, she's wearing one.

Because that's boring.

The opening scene of Clueless was Cher
with this, like, revolving closet.

Now... How are you going to throw a
Clues -themed party and stick with one

outfit? No, no, no.

There's going to be multiple looks.

So I'm probably going to, like, do a
spin on three.

It's kind of cool, right?

That makes no sense. I would just wear
one outfit.

Too bad it's not your birthday.

So that's going to be the fashion.

I have to do my birthday cake.

I have to find a photographer.

I have to do the food and beverage.

What do I have to do for this party?

Well, at this point, you're just going
to show up. Okay. You're like a guest.

Oh, my God. Excellent.

Yeah, you're not hosting anything.

I have to get you a gift, right?

A hundred percent. Yeah. It better be,
like, diamonds and, like, Chanel

handbags. But it better not come from
Chinatown.

I can't promise anything. Oh, my God.
Stop.

Coming up.

Are you okay? Do I think that I feel
differently about us being friends? Yes.

don't really want to be close to you.

Remember last time I was here, I feel
like I was crying a lot. When I told

no crying.

Yes,

it's called girl matching.

Aww.

Clem doesn't want to put eyelashes on a
dog.

She's already putting eyelashes on this
bitch.

Levi has basketball and soccer.

Someone has to pick him up at 5 .15, and
I'm really hoping that someone is you.

I did this at Central Park Zoo this
morning. I think you can go for a ride

about 15 minutes.

I would need to do a little bit of work
when we get back. What do you think I'm

going to do?

Hang out, watch TV?

Are you kidding?

I'm sorry.

I can't take you anywhere.

Hi, Jenna.

Hey.

How you doing?

Good. How are you?

I'm good, except for it's raining.

Where are we going? Where's our meeting
happening?

Meeting's in that room. Do we have
coffee?

Yes, we have coffee.

Oh, thank God. Beckett is leaving the
nest soon, and I think knowing he's not

going to be close to me, I'm trying to,
like, sleep very busy, and so I've

recently taken on a new position with
The Coverture, which is an online

magazine as the editor -in -chief at
large.

The at -large meeting, I'm not in the
office every day. I said I have another

job. Two other jobs.

Hi there.

Hello. Hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello.

I'm a partner in a startup and I also
still run Love Scene. I know that you

send out an agenda, my favorite thing.

Where are we starting? We're going to
start with the roundtable discussion.

What excited me is I haven't really been
close to photo shoots in a long time

and I love that part of it. And also
this whole process of sitting with these

women, you get this opportunity to have
like a brain share. Each of the editors

have prepared a couple of pitches. Okay.

Who's starting? Okay, so beauty. There's
women who are traveling to Turkey to

get eyebrow transplants.

And it's like this.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm like booking my flight.

So it's like a similar method as the
male hair loss transplant. Great.

Love. So perhaps we should move on to
print.

It would be really interesting to see
with June coming up something Pride

related. I personally think we should as
a group make an effort to consider.

Every month, are we including people?
And I feel the same way with anything

around Black History Month. It's like,
we shouldn't have to think about

including, you know. In just in
February. Yeah. The shortest month of

And June, no one's paying attention.
We're all like on vacation.

Okay, Andy. All right, so I have four
culture pitches.

So there's kind of a burgeoning clown
community in Los Angeles.

Did you know that I was a clown?

You guys are really gullible. That was
fun.

Oh, my God. How are you?

Good. How are you? You look so
beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

Welcome to my home.

I used to tell them you're going to need
like 30, 40 minutes to go around, but

really it's like 30 seconds.

So I invited Raquel to come over.

Speaking of art, you come to my house
and I'll show you. Oh my, wow. Are these

all yours?

Yeah. You know, get to know her a little
bit better, but most important, after

the Hamptons, I don't want that to be an
impression of me because that's not me.

I'm so excited to see the work. I did it
for me because I'm so passionate about

color. Everything in my home, it has to
come from so much joy. I want to paint

like when I'm like laughing and dancing.

I'm sorry that actually nothing is ham.

I had the worst water damage.

That's why everything is in the floor.
Keep in mind, I'm painting for my heart.

Right. It's not really for commercial
purpose.

Well, I mean... Maybe one day. Maybe one
day. This is something that's coming

out of you. Yeah. Be very proud of it.
This, I use my finger. Sometimes I use

brush. Sometimes I use my finger. I love
this. You're painting. You are an

artist. Own that.

I want you to... Hearing it from me, you
know?

In my opinion, there's no bad art
because it's all coming from someone and

experiences. So I actually think they're
great. And I love that she's doing

this. It's a great way for her to just
sit with her thoughts and let something

out into the world. When did you first
start painting?

2021. Oh, and is this flag yours as
well?

I'm going to cry if I talk about this
painting.

Oh, no. When Americans, they see
American flag, they just see blue, white

red. Yeah. When I see American flag, I
see gold.

You know, they see black and white,
right? The whole culture, like whatever

they're fighting.

And the extreme view that the country
holds right now.

This country is so beautiful.

We don't have a bodyguard.

Nobody stop us to ask us, where are you
going, where's your money, where's your

passport?

There's freedom.

There's freedom this country has. For
the longest time, I pray what I have

This is a land of opportunity.

A Muslim, single, black, Somalian girl
could come here and get a job and

start a company.

Personally, I have a beef to take with
American citizens like don't. Get up for

us immigrants.

Like, we're very grateful to be here.

You immigrated to Canada, right? How old
were you when you went to Canada? 15,

16. That's how I started modeling.

Okay. I started in Vancouver, started
doing little jobs here and there. And

eventually I moved to Richard's model.

And then from Richard, I came to New
York through him.

Also, it was really hard for him to
place me in New York.

You know, before, every agent had only
one black girl. Yes, of course. I was

that one black girl. There you go. There
you go.

I was coming in as the younger version
of someone that they were already. And

mind you, she was just a few years older
than me. It's good when you go through

it because you also build a tougher skin
and you need that tough skin in the

modeling industry.

You know how they say ignored is a
bliss? I really didn't know they were

hiring black girls.

I just thought it was competitive
because New York, like you've got to be

like an A game.

I walked in like very gullible, smiling.
And yeah, it was rough.

It was very rough.

Oh, beautiful.

Yeah. I'm always cold.

Are you anemic? I can be because I eat
lamb every day. Right. Which, by the

your lamb was incredible. It was so
good. Thank you for saving the day, too.

my goodness. The barbecue, you really
helped us. Oh. It was a lot of lamb. So

much lamb.

Speak of the Hamptons. Mm -hmm.

Oh, that breakfast just kind of took
like a different turn. I never told you

this thing until you come to my space.

Calling someone snake, a liar, it's not
a good thing. But you are not called

that until you are condescending. The
night before you guys were sleeping,

then, Brynn was talking to me
condescending. Like, oh, boo -boo,

beautiful. But you know what? The way
you act, they're going to edit you like

angry black woman.

I don't know what Brynn is thinking.

You're the one who triggered her into
behaving a way where she could be

as an angry black woman.

So, ooh, it all feels very manipulative
to me. So you felt like she was

manipulating you. It's just like she
wanted to set me up. Right. To be upset,

you know?

So then when you let us all know how you
were feeling, and then Brynn wanted to

respond, you felt she was going to
just... No, I had zero interest in what

were going to say. Sometimes you have to
have that conversation with each other

to say, no, you don't want to. Not for
someone who does things intentionally.

Come on, really? We're all friends here.
Like, you can't let just hang in the

air, and then you're like stewing and
brewing. You're going to explode.

Get it out.

Whatever she has towards me, she's
having it along.

Right. Because for me, my fridge is full
of fish. There's no beef. Right.

Zero beef.

Coming up.

I genuinely now think Faye's actually a
miserable person. She wants to make

other people miserable. She's a
miserable troll that lives under the

Bridge. End of story.

Oh, my God.

This house is amazing.

We got a lot of work to do. It needs a
lot of rent. And turning this entire

kitchen. That hood is terrible. It is.
It's a beautiful house, but I want it to

be brand new. I have a photo that I can
show you.

This is all custom.

That will be the fridges inside of
there.

I bought my house upstate two years ago,
and I started the renovation process a

year after we purchased it. And the
reason why is I really wanted to start

buying pieces that tell us. story,
pieces that I found on my travels. It

one year to decide on this stone.

It is a labor of love, and I don't mind
buying one piece at a time. Oh, I love

this. Not in your day clothes.

Oh, leave me alone.

I don't need anybody in my house to mess
it up, okay?

Don't come in here with your bad vibes,
your dirty shoes, your day clothes.

I worked hard for this home, so I'm
going to keep it that way. All right.

I'm ready to take my mom outside.

Rio, where's your shovel? Are you going
to dig?

Wash shovel. We've got to plant
Grandma's tree.

My plan is to bury some of the ashes in
our tree.

This is the first time I've ever had to
deal with this kind of grief, and this

is just really, really hard for me. Oh,
this is nice.

Tree. Like, it'll be beautifully
landscaped, this area.

Carefully remove the plant. Okay, I'm
actually freaking out. I'm just having

issue with putting her in.

I'm having an issue with opening the bag
right now. Okay. You want me to do it?

Yeah. I don't think I can do it.

You're not ready?

I'm so happy my aunt is here.

Oh, my God. Is that it?

She has some heavy bones.

She was so thin. I knew this was going
to be hard. I just didn't know how hard.

I've known this person my entire life.

She gave birth to me.

And now all of a sudden, their body is
burnt and shoved into a bag.

It's just really hard for me to face, to
be honest.

Barbara was totally into the whole sage
and Palo Santo thing, and we should say

a few words, right?

I'm just sad that she died.

Yeah.

Okay. Using my hand feels a little
weird. I'll show you the shovel.

Okay, I love Barbara.

Barbara, I love you. I love you. I swear
I do.

I always did and I always will.

And what we're going to do right now is
all about you because you love nature

and you love plants and you're going to
be a tree and you're going to grow so

big and you're going to blossom and
you're going to be the woman you was

to be.

Barbara, I love you and I miss you and
say something. Go ahead.

Mom knows I love her. I know she knows
that.

You're good.

What do you want this tree to mean to
you?

New life.

This tree is going to be new life.

Amen.

I want her to be a part of nature.

She's still with me, just in a different
way. It's a place where I can go and

just feel like I'm with my mom, and it's
a happy place. It's okay, Ria. You

help me with the tree?

And it's just me and my mom. We're
hanging out.

It's a good spot.

What do you think?

We got to keep this tree alive.

Yeah.

Have you noticed that she's actually
wiping my mother all over everyone?

That's true.

Oh, my god. I love you so much.

She's like, you poor thing.

No, she's headed to London.

Oh, my god. I did notice her in London.
Are you sad?

You can't be that sad.

My mother is here to stay, obviously.

Oh, my god. This is such a comfortable
shirt.

I'm having a clueless theme birthday.
This is amazing.

How many of you guys are stopping in?
Should I pop some champagne?

Yeah, for sure. Let's do it.

Hello. Hi. You look very summery.

For you.

For you.

Cheers.

There's shoplifting.

Hi.

Ladies.

They have so many good things. Yeah,
they really do. I'm so excited. Also,

pure genius of you hosting a clueless
party.

Do you know why?

Because, duh.

Because, duh. Yeah, okay. Let's try some
stuff.

Yeah, this is cute.

This is cute.

It's not.

But it's an alaya. It's an alaya. It's
an alaya.

I think it's so cute.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's cute.
Okay.

Erin is an 80 -year -old trapped in a 30
-year -old body. Sorry, I saw

Balenciaga. You can be a farmer in those
clothes.

So I think the medium is fine.

Hey, sailors.

I'm going to take it. All right, let's
do it. Oh, my God, you guys. I know.

You guys, I love it. You're happy.

I love it.

Are you wearing a curtain?

By the way, it's actually cute.

It's kind of cute. This is actually
adorable. It's kind of amazing. A girl

always has to have options.

Cher was light years ahead of us. She
had a computer that put her outfits

together.

Like, where is that computer?

Apple.

We sit down. My feet hurt. Yeah, yeah,
yeah.

I saw on Instagram that Ty and Jenna
were together.

Now they're like best friends.

My mom's ashes have been in the same
box, in the same bag.

I haven't done anything with my mom's
either. We decided to bury just a few of

her ashes in a beautiful cherry blossom
tree.

Now her and Jenna are friends. I'm glad
to help with that relationship.

So bizarre. I can't stand the fakeness.
I'm sorry. I can't. I can't do it. I

actually don't want to be friends with
Jenna now.

I'm going through such a hard time.

She knows that. She has not reached out
to me once.

She's not asked how I'm doing once.

Yet she has time to go out with someone
who, according to her, has told all of

New York City that she can't stand her.
If that's the kind of friend she is, I'm

good.

Literally how I feel. Jenna's going to
get an earful from me. I will literally

march over to Jenna's right now. Are you
kidding me? So how do you feel going

into, like, you're going to see everyone
tomorrow? I don't care. I love you

guys. I love Jenna.

But, like, Uba's been crazy.

And I'm sick of, like, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Like, we are grown women living in New
York City.

We don't act like that.

And Cy, she needs to apologize to me. I
want a written apology.

I wrote the group a message, you know,
apologizing.

Then I wrote her separately.

Yeah. She doesn't write me back, but she
read it because she has her red

receipts on now.

I'm trying to give her grace. I want to
hear people's feelings and emotions.

It's 2024.

I watch Gen Z TikTok.

I will honor your emotions and
apologize. Do not look at my face and

Satan and tell me to shut the up.

Do not. Do not. And I'm done. I'm done
playing nice.

I genuinely now think Faye's actually a
miserable person. She wants to make

other people miserable. I think she
hates that I'm a happy, nice person.

She's a miserable troll that lives under
the Brooklyn Bridge.

End of story.

Oh, my God.

You said that the couch, like, opens up
and swallows you? Is that where we're

trying to go right now? No. But your
birthday's going to be great.

Uh... Yay.

I can't wait.

Coming up... Who is John on the phone
with? I don't know. He annoys me.

What's going on between you two? I just
realized that she's not my actual

friend.

My God, look at this. This is so
adorable.

Everything is exactly how I envisioned
it. Pink balloons, there's alcohol

flowing, candy, candy, candy.

Great vibe.

It's fat with a P.

That is so fun.

He doesn't know what that means. He
hasn't seen the movie yet.

I can't talk to anybody.

No, if anything happens to my daughter,
if anything happens to my daughter. Oh,

my God. She came as a dad.

I've got a 45 and a shovel, and no one's
going to miss you.

My God.

I'd never seen Clueless. And so I had to
watch the film, and I realized all the

girls were going to be in these short
little skirts. This is one of four, so

you're going to get a full situation.

And I was like, I don't think I want to
do that. And then I saw Mel, and I loved

him.

I loved the way he talked to his
daughter. Here you go, Jessel. This is

His authority. I just wasn't really into
it. Jessel Tank, you're being sued by

JFL. Defamation of Christmas.

Oh, my God.

May I please remind you that it does not
say RSVP on the statue of liberty.

I love it when someone's coming up with
a line.

How are you?

Thank you so much. Well, I'm changing,
but this is like one of like three.

Everything in the Valley takes 20
minutes.

With Lisa, you've been served.
Destruction of property.

Pavlova. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

This is amazing.

I told you.

Now that.

So good. Hi, boo -boo baby. Hi, baby.

We've been served. Wait, this is so
funny.

JFL intends to file a lawsuit against
you indecent exposure.

I mean. What's my penalty? Start
OnlyFans with private access code for

Your honor, guilty.

Oh,

my God.

Rebecca's going to Cher's funeral. She's
not going to Cher's birthday party.

I was like, who are you? He goes, I'm
Abe.

No. You're Josh.

You're very much Josh. You're like a
dorky, weird Jew.

It's perfect.

Exactly. I don't even need to pretend.

I could have worn like a flannel. She
almost did. I told her no. I projected

wearing the flannel. Good job.

I picked my battles.

So wait, what are you doing tomorrow on
your actual birthday?

So I was hoping that he would have my
gifts ready and a plan.

Yesterday, I got a text saying, what do
you want for your birthday?

Oh, no.

I mean, sex delivery is at least five
days.

Bergdorf is at least a week.

I mean, net -a -porsay is same day, but
it's $25. He's not going to spend that.

What if he's doing a really good job of
pretending that it's all happening?

But I doubt that he would.

My philosophy on holidays in general,
they are all... BS created by the

card industry.

Don't get me started on Valentine's Day.
With all these damn days you got there,

how many gifts do you have to buy? It's
a waste of money.

Hi.

Oh, there's Uba.

You would wear leopard print with tweed.
And why is your hair so sexy?

Because my voice decided to disappear.

You've got to serve her with your
papers.

Be careful, though. She doesn't like
jokes.

Can you believe I'm going to be 41?

But you look like 20.

What are the other outfits?

Oh, my God. I have, like, so many. I had
no idea what I was going to wear five

minutes before I left my house. And she
has four outfits.

I should have called her and asked to
give me one.

Wait, where's the birthday girl?

I heard she's going to change outfits
three times. Four times. Four times. It

just feels like a lot. Are you a bride?
Why are we doing outfit changes?

It just feels like a production.

There's nobody that wants to glam more
than Jackie.

What is this?

Toothpick?

All right.

Gorgeous. If anything happens to you,
I'll come for them.

You're just having fun.

Go put something else on.

I love the blue eyeshadow.

Ooh, that's good, Dion.

All right, shall we migrate from the
barn?

What's Jenna on the phone with? I don't
know. She annoys me.

What's going on between you two?
Nothing. I just realized that she's not

actual friend.

She stuck that in her mouth before and
she choked.

I just need to not go in all at once.

I could throw back six of those.

Like, my friendships are about an
authentic connection.

I was such a good friend to her. You two
were very close. I don't know. I'm not

interested in having a friendship with
her.

I was such a good friend to her. You two
were very close.

I don't know. I'm not interested in
having a friendship with her.

My kids drive me crazy.

And then seeing my mom sick.

And then not being able to rely on my
husband during this time.

Finding out that you sold our Bitcoin
when we needed that. It really messed

my head. And this is why I need my
friends to band together for me. And I

just some grace, which I don't get. I'm
going to break this party.

That makes me sad to hear.

There's nothing sad about it because
we're really not close anymore. It's

Jenna?

What happened?

Are you okay? No, nothing.

I'm totally fine. Totally? I swear.

I'm great. I have great friends in my
life. I'm good.

And now I'm just like, I don't even want
to invest time in trying to be friends.

But she knows that, though. She knows
that. No, I don't know. Oh, you don't

care. She probably doesn't even realize.
She probably has no clue.

The friend that Jenna was to me when we
were close is the friend that I need

right now.

I feel like I was that friend to her.
It's not reciprocated. I heard something

very interesting. We don't need to,
like... Yesterday when I was addressed

Aaron, Aaron was like, Cy and Jenna are
friends now. All I said was, I will talk

to Jenna.

So now I'm talking to Jenna.

Hey!

If you become buddy -buddy with people
that are mean -mean, I will not be happy

-happy, and there will be no more sex
-sex.

I appreciate that Brynn had a direct
conversation with me. I don't love the

that Aaron backdoored it, didn't say it
to me.

It's fine. I don't want you to become in
the middle of anyone.

Just be careful.

I am cautious, as I am always.

It's hard to understand why someone
would say, hey, be careful.

I don't know what to do with that. I'd
much rather form a relationship with Zai

on my own and then decide.

You're a smart woman. You're slow, lady.
Daddy, make me a deal. Oh, there you

are. Oh, it's a little daddy.

You gotta get on my schedule. Oh, this
is a nice little fourth step.

When does the outfit change happening?
Because I'm excited.

I want to hate the outfit so bad, but I
love it because you're out of your

goddamn mind.

All of Jess's looks are quite camp.

She's like the head camp counselor.

I'm getting a drink, daddy.

Are you getting a real drink?

You're gonna try and get me to drink.
It's your goal.

I'm not one of these pure... I'm not a
frat guy. I'm not being like, drink,

drink. But if you want to have like a
half a glass of chard and get like a

little freaky deke, just do it. I don't
like when people hold out on me.

I think it's weird that she's constantly
upset that I'm not drinking.

Wow, do you feel the need to drink all
the time? Because I don't. I'm really

comfortable not drinking.

I've just heard from everyone that you
actually drink, you just don't drink

us. Ooh.

I'll drink with you, but not tonight.

You know what?

Buzzkill boner killer.

Bye.

Everything is always like more, more,
more. It's like kind of where fun goes

die. You know, I have a little pigeon
toe.

I do.

You need local honey. I was worried that
this headband makes my nose look

bigger. She's so boring.

She's so boring. I can't do it.

All right, I'm going to pee.

Look at this sex monster.

She's like...

Basically, sorry. She's not your new
Jenna. She's my new aide.

She's my new aide. She's your new aide.
Totally flirt with her. And I'm cool

with it.

This is what we can do.

She's wearing nothing.

Does this get the Jenna Lyon feel?

Do you call this an outfit?

Where's the rest of it?

I'm married to her. Wait, you're just a
husband?

Yeah. Yeah,

I gotta go.

I didn't even do my cake yet.

But you have, like, a lot of people here
for your cake.

And it's just a cake.

I mean, I didn't know you were going to
leave me.

I literally have this great handbook.
I'll show you. Sugar and brown.

The latest appointment is 940, which I
took.

I have things to do. I can't stay around
for just like 15 million outfit change.

Not everything has to be a perfect photo
op, including your fifth birthday. I

mean, your 41st. Sorry.

No full warning of the spray tan.

No heads up.

I'm this.

Irish exit.

Wait, are you leaving? Yeah, I have to
go to spray tan.

Oh, my God.

Let's roll that track. What's it called?
Oh, you're so vain.

No deal. No deal. No. Right? No. Yeah,
you no deal. Exactly.

That's the way it is. That's what I'm
saying.

What he said.

Look, I want everybody to be friends.

Who's not friends?

I just feel differently about Jenna. It
has nothing to do with you or not. You

feel differently about Jenna?

Oh,

here we go.

There we go. Oh, here's my best friend.

Oh, my God. I am, like, very, like, so
this is not true.

Oh, my God. I'm bleeding. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.

I feel like you and Aaron... I feel like
there's just an unresolved tension.

God, I'm great.

I'm, like, so not... I'm sure you are,
but... Did she feel it then? No. Well,

where's the tension then?

I don't feel it, and she doesn't feel
it.

I wasn't going to get involved either. I
don't like to do that, but I wasn't

really thinking it, and it just came
out.

You're a lawyer. I really should keep an
eye on you. You're going to lose this

case.

I have so many great friends. I don't
need to have one. It doesn't feel

authentic. I don't want to do that. I
just don't feel close to her.

And that's okay.

I'm going to shut my mouth. You can get
yourself a drink.

You pee and drink more than I count.

Aaron has a phone, a voice. He can tell
me if something is wrong.

I think it would be fair to say that I
was clueless about what was going on.

no!

You can't just be upset about it and
upset with her without actually asking

Ask the person that you're hurt by and
say, like, why?

We had a friendship.

What happened?

I don't know. This is weird. It's
getting, like, really intense.

It is? Yeah.

Are you okay?

Are you okay? I'm fine.

I'm great.

Are you really? I'm honestly perfectly
fine. Do I think that I feel differently

about us being friends? Yes.

And when you say you feel differently
about that, what is that feeling?

Like, I don't really want to be close to
you.

Are you trying to stir me up? Are you
trying to get a rise out of me?

I'm not going to go in for it, and I
actually don't want to do this at a

birthday party. It was a rough year, and
I felt like here I was, like, bonding

with someone. And on a deep way, I'm an
emotional person. When I get close to

someone, I do it for real.

I felt very close to her. When everybody
was a certain way with you, I always

was steadfast and like, I really love
her. I think she's great. And I would

been there for you, like, to the end.

At the end of the day, I think you
believe what Brynn told you. And you

to me.

There's some truth to it. Yeah, there
has to be some part of it. Well, the

was that we got in a car that wasn't
working and then we had to order an

That was the truth part. And Brynn and I
had...

A four -hour conversation in her
apartment. And she said, I went to Jenna

And he said, oh, so you forgave Aaron
about the Jeff Lewis thing.

And Brynn said, yeah, I forgave her. She
felt so bad. And that's when you

responded, oh, that was fast.

If anything, the ego part of that
conversation was I think I felt of Jenna

like, really? You forgave her? I think I
felt embarrassed that I forgave you so

quick. So she didn't fight me?

No. She didn't fight me.

She wanted to get back at me. And then
she did.

And she ruined a friendship with you.

Brynn has embellished so many stories.
It's very frustrating that Jenna kind of

believes it. And I don't know why. She
can look at my past actions. I've been

nothing but honest about anything that
I've said.

And it's just disappointing.

And then what hurt was that, like, the
subsequent month, it was like, you and

Brynn, like, and it felt very fake and
very manufactured.

You're blaming me and Brynn. Come on.
She's writing.

Jenna's my closest one in the group.

To me, it felt so inauthentic. I didn't
do it. I know, but it started to shift.

This is not the case. Like, I barely
have talked to anyone. I'm in the middle

doing three jobs and trying to be in a
relationship.

I'm on.

Okay,

fine, fine.

I sensed that Brynn started to become
jealous of my friendship with Jenna at

reunion. She saw us getting our hair and
makeup done, which we were doing a lot.

I just don't want to go through Anguilla
again. Maybe we should just do improv,

man. She kept coming into the room and
trying to insert herself in our

conversation. Do you like it, Jenna?

Whenever you like my outfit, then it
makes me even better.

Fresh off the main counter.

All of a sudden, she was using my makeup
artist that I referred to Jenna.

You guys have the benefit of sharing.

The sharing? Sharing is caring? Sharing
is caring.

She noticed that Jenna was gaining a lot
of popularity.

Therefore, when she saw an opportunity
to break up a close friendship, she took

it. I'm a cancer. I have like a hard
shell. Oh, I'm a cancer too. You are? I

Now you guys can be best friends.

No, but, you know, we have a hard show.
So, like, when I let someone in. Yes,

no, I know. It's like, I don't always
let people in. I know. Like I did with

you. I'm going to say this. I am a bad
communicator. I struggle with, like,

little texts and, like, catching up. I
just want you to know. No, I get it.

not like I try to find attention or love
elsewhere. It truly is not.

And I can see that maybe you need me to
reach out to you more, and I will.

I appreciate that.

It wasn't that I believed Brynn over
her. It has nothing to do with Brynn. I

think what it comes down to is she wants
more from me, and I'm not always that

good at constant communication. So what
I have to do is just, like, initiate the

text, pick up the phone.

I guess I'm just a bad friend. I don't
know.

I'm going to get you on my calendar.
We're going to have a meeting and we're

going to work it out.

And I'm going to get some contracts
drawn up. And I'm going to say Aaron is

friend. And we're contractually bound.

And that's going to be that. Get Aaron
on my calendar immediately.

He's the only black person here. I'm
helping.

Thank you.

Okay, this is it.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New
York City.

I've never been called a snake in my
life. I've

never really had people like hate me.

I think we should probably see a
professional therapist to help us figure

out.