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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,239 Narrator: Coming up, 2 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,341 why is Sal punching his way out of a paper bag? 3 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,677 [ Laughter ] 4 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,979 What's got Q breaking the ice? 5 00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:16,181 I just love to suck ice pops all day long. 6 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,182 [ Laughter ] 7 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,484 And which losing joker 8 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:21,220 will sink his teeth into tonight's big punishment? 9 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,288 [ Laughter ] 10 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:26,191 Sal: Prepare for something amazing. 11 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,393 Q: Hey, mustache, what's up? 12 00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:28,961 [ Laughter ] 13 00:00:28,963 --> 00:00:30,662 Murr: I want my mommy! 14 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,231 [ Laughter ] 15 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:35,334 Sal: I will never forgive you! 16 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:36,802 Joe: Larry! 17 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,772 [ Laughter ] 18 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,741 Today, we're working at Carvel, 19 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,510 and it is a perfect day for ice cream. 20 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:45,611 While working behind the counter, 21 00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:46,578 we'll have to do and say 22 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:47,846 whatever the other guys tell us. 23 00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:50,015 If you refuse to do or say anything, you lose. 24 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:51,350 Q: It's gonna be a whale of a time! 25 00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:52,551 Oh, Q. 26 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,585 -Aw, Q. -Q. 27 00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,092 Joe: I've heard it's been pronounced wrong all these years. 28 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,894 What? Guys, it's pronounced "ass cream." 29 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,395 Oh, ass cream! Ass cream. 30 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,530 Yeah, not ice cream. 31 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:05,531 Yeah, sure it is. 32 00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:06,598 [ Laughing ] Q: Ass cream. 33 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,102 It's hot out there today, right? 34 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,303 Perfect day for ass cream. 35 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:12,938 Perfect day... 36 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,073 [ Laughter ] 37 00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:16,108 Perfect day for ass cream. 38 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,178 [ Laughter ] 39 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,013 Can I try the chocolate hazelnut? 40 00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:22,114 Ass cream. 41 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,615 Chocolate hazelnut? 42 00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:26,251 Ass cream? Small? 43 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,219 There she goes. Now she got it. 44 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,123 Yeah. But, just one ass cream? 45 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:32,691 [ Laughter ] 46 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,427 Can I get you both a set of ass creams? Woman: No, I'm good. 47 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,662 Oh, you don't yet. So, let me know. 48 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:37,830 I'll make this ass cream. 49 00:01:37,832 --> 00:01:39,064 I'll come back to you for your ass cream. 50 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,800 You want ice? 51 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:45,237 [ Laughter ] 52 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,472 These two are to go? 53 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:50,409 Q: Sal, punch a hole in the bottom of the bag. 54 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,379 [ Laughter ] 55 00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:55,948 Now, put the stuff in. Now, put the stuff in. 56 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,586 [ Laughter ] 57 00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:01,687 Look at the guy. 58 00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,894 [ Laughter ] 59 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,395 Can I get a new bag? Sal: Oh, sure. 60 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:11,897 Punch a hole in this new bag too, buddy. 61 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:18,470 [ Laughter ] 62 00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:21,573 [ Laughter ] 63 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,741 Murr: He just handed him an empty bag. 64 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:23,942 What'd you do? 65 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:27,613 He needs a bigger bag, clearly. Oh, of course. 66 00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:30,749 You know, what you probably needed a bigger bag. 67 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:33,252 [ Laughter ] 68 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,419 What would you like? 69 00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:37,055 Murr: This kid wants sprinkles. 70 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,458 Count out 50 sprinkles exactly. 71 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,426 Sal: You wanted the junior with rainbow, right? 72 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,162 That's 50 sprinkles. 73 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:46,598 One. 74 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,599 Two. 75 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,101 [ Laughter ] 76 00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:50,903 Three. 77 00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:51,937 Four. 78 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,071 Joe: There's been a sprinkle shortage. 79 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,706 There's been a sprinkle shortage, 80 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,909 and we have people that use 'em too liberally. Oh. 81 00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:58,177 So, now they want exact counts for them. 82 00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:59,444 13. 83 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:01,880 18. 84 00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,215 They want me to count out by -- by hand. 85 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,783 It'll go a lot quicker if we don't talk. 86 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:08,253 [ Laughter ] 87 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:10,022 Joe: Oh, that's enough. Dump 'em all. 88 00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,957 Oh, my God. 89 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,593 [ Laughter ] 90 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:15,861 Let me say one thing. 91 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,062 Let me just say one thing. 92 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,664 You two gentlemen... You two gentlemen... 93 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:19,698 ...made a beautiful child. 94 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,733 ...made a be-- 95 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,669 made a beautiful child. 96 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:24,870 [ Laughter ] 97 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,538 Murr: I can't believe he said it! 98 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,473 Okay, guys, time for a delivery. All right. 99 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:31,944 Murr: [ Laughing ] 100 00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:34,012 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 101 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,582 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 102 00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:39,618 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 103 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,987 ♪ Which nobody can deny ♪ 104 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,323 All right, Sal! 105 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,591 [ Laughter ] 106 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,392 Look at his big fat face. Q: [ Laughs ] 107 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,362 Joe: You're punching yourself! 108 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:51,496 It's frozen, you dope! 109 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,269 [ Laughter ] 110 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,971 [ Ding! ] 111 00:03:58,973 --> 00:04:01,807 Welcome to Carvel. What can I do for you? 112 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,475 Joey, keep getting distracted by your own hand. 113 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:06,478 You want to soften up... 114 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,779 Huh? 115 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,114 [ Laughter ] 116 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,918 Look, look, look, look, look. 117 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,152 Q: He looks so stupid. 118 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,255 This one. 119 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:17,389 No, no, no. Look, look, look. 120 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,991 See right here? 121 00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,093 This one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 122 00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,028 [ Laughter ] 123 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:25,697 So, that one's $5.45, and $5.45? 124 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:28,133 Just slap the register with your hands. 125 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,102 Like, just palm it. 126 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,174 $10.90 for them both. 127 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,711 [ Laughter ] 128 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,179 Sal: Look at his face. 129 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,482 [ Laughter ] 130 00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:44,883 Hey, bud, how are you? 131 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,421 Small vanilla with chocolate syrup. You got it. 132 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,056 Joe, keep touching the ice cream by accident 133 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,858 with your nose. 134 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,026 Did you want the hot fudge? 135 00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:55,394 [ Laughter ] 136 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,429 It's all right, man. Sorry, no. I'm sorry. 137 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:58,597 You know what? I'll do a bigger -- 138 00:04:58,599 --> 00:04:59,564 I'll do the bigger cup. 139 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,366 Joe, hit your nose on it again. 140 00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,235 Okay, so that's it. 141 00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:05,237 Ah! Ah! Oh! 142 00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:06,638 Oh, that's on me. 143 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,340 Murr: You got to get him another one, Joe! 144 00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:09,808 That's on me. That's my bad. 145 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,643 Let me get you a bigger cup. 146 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,478 [ Laughter ] 147 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,081 Sal: Slam your face into it on the table. 148 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,783 Oh! Oh! 149 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,685 [ Laughter ] 150 00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,053 That's my bad. Let me get a bigger cup. 151 00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:22,721 Joe, go in the back and grab a bucket. 152 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,592 [ Laughter ] 153 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,131 Chocolate syrup. 154 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:36,268 Joe, get your head in that bucket! 155 00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:38,937 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 156 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:39,805 [ Laughter ] 157 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:40,872 Oh, oh, oh, man! 158 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,274 That's on me! 159 00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:44,176 [ Ding! ] [ Laughter ] 160 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:47,379 It's a perfect day for ice cream, isn't it? 161 00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,580 Right on. 162 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:51,216 That's a straight-up tight-ass perm right there. 163 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,754 I tell you. That is a stra-- 164 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:59,191 [ Laughter ] 165 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,226 That is a straight-up, tight-ass perm right there. 166 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,495 [ Laughter ] 167 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,663 Joe: I'm talking hashtag permanant! 168 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:07,766 Hashtag permanent! 169 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,101 It's all-natural. It's all-natural? 170 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,469 It looks fantastic. 171 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,703 [ Laughter ] 172 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,872 I want a soft vanilla with rainbow sprinkles. 173 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,507 Soft vanilla with rainbow sprinkles -- you got it. 174 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,642 Soft vanilla was my nickname in college. 175 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,277 So-- 176 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,913 [ Laughter ] 177 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:24,049 Soft vanilla was my nickname in college. 178 00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,952 Tight-ass perm. 179 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,388 [ Laughter ] 180 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,789 How can I help you out? 181 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:33,925 You want me to write it on the cake? 182 00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,093 -Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. -Sure. 183 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,529 All right, no problem. I'll go do it right now. 184 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,197 What are you gonna make it say? Congrats, you big baby? 185 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,232 That's better. How's that? 186 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:44,603 [ Laughter ] 187 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,104 Okay, so here we go. 188 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,507 Uh, "Congrats, you big baby" right? 189 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,942 [ Laughter ] 190 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,144 What did you say? 191 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,880 Joe: Oh! 192 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,982 No problem, no problem, we'll fix it, we'll fix it. 193 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,950 "Congrats on your baby boy." You ready, Murr? 194 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,952 Congrats on your big-ass baby. 195 00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,355 [ Laughter ] 196 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,729 ay? 197 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,665 Joe: Oh. 198 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,133 No problem, no problem, we'll fix it, we'll fix it. 199 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,702 "Congrats on your baby boy." You ready, Murr? 200 00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,738 Congrats on your big-ass baby. 201 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,807 [ Laughter ] 202 00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,110 Here we go, here we go, okay. 203 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:28,346 Uh, "Congrats on your big-ass baby." 204 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,716 [ Laughter ] 205 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,953 [ Laughter ] 206 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,822 [ Ding! ] 207 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,590 You had it easy out there, pal. 208 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,192 What are you talking about? 209 00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:42,327 I did not! You go out for my turn. 210 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:43,762 One turn. 211 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:44,863 If I don't get you, 212 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:46,798 I'll take a loss for the whole episode. 213 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,999 But I'm gonna go hard on you. 214 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,468 I'm gonna go hard on you. Whole episode? 215 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:50,969 Whole -- I'll take an automatic loss. 216 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,471 Fine, you're on. Let's do it. 217 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:53,472 All right. I'm going out! 218 00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:54,673 All right. 219 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,641 Joe: Back at the scene. 220 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,211 You just made a serious mistake. 221 00:07:59,213 --> 00:08:01,279 Murr: Hello, sir. 222 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,547 Let me guess. Chocolate. 223 00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:05,450 [ Laughter ] 224 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,819 I just lost. 225 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,088 [ Laughter ] Q: Wow! 226 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,490 Narrator: Murr froze up, 227 00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:14,326 so he's being soft-served onto the loser board. 228 00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:16,595 Today, we're in the park with all my dogs. 229 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,196 We're each gonna take a Gatto pup, 230 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,331 go up to a stranger, 231 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,832 and ask him to watch our dog for us. 232 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:21,900 The catch is, 233 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,001 we're not gonna use the dog's real name. 234 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,703 We're gonna give a name and back story 235 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,438 that's been fed to us by the other guys. 236 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,473 Once somebody agrees to watch the dog, 237 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:31,109 one of us will approach and then ask about the dog. 238 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,777 If you can't get the stranger to repeat the name 239 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,913 and weird back story, you lose. 240 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,114 Sit! 241 00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:39,718 Stay. 242 00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:44,422 Sal: All right, Q, let's go. Here we go! 243 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,191 I assigned the dogs to you, my friends, 244 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,726 on, you know, personality or look. 245 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,562 Mishkeen and Q are dead ringers. 246 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,163 They say that all owners look like their dogs. 247 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:55,367 [ Meowing sounds ] 248 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,968 What is that? That's Mishkeen! 249 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,637 [ Laughter ] [ Meowing sounds ] 250 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,272 That's not your dog right now. Look at Q! 251 00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:02,440 Is that Q making that sound or the dog? No, it's the dog! 252 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,643 Murr: The dog's doing that? 253 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,211 [ Mewing sounds ] 254 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,547 Sounds like somebody's letting the air out of him. 255 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,615 Q: All right, buddy, okay. I got to go now, too. 256 00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,384 Would you actually mind watching him for a second 257 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,286 while I run to the bathroom? 258 00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:15,554 Thank you. His name is, uh... 259 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,255 Joe: His name's Ice Pops. ...Ice Pops. 260 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,190 'Cause I love to suck ice pops all day long. 261 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,393 I just love to suck ice pops all day long. 262 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,795 [ Laughter ] 263 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,130 Okay, I'm gonna run to the men's room right there. 264 00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:31,036 Oh, he's adorable! What's his name? 265 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,470 Well, his name is Mishkeen, 266 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,172 because I just looked at the tag. 267 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,145 Ice Pops? 268 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:47,719 [ Laughs ] 269 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,087 Why did he name him Ice Pops? 270 00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,058 [ Laughter ] 271 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,759 All right, well, you got an adorable dog. 272 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,494 Oh, I'm gonna go back in there and take care of that. Go ahead. 273 00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:57,929 Take care, guys. Have a good day, okay? 274 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,230 We're gonna send Q back in. 275 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:03,034 Ice Pops! 276 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,370 Thank you so much for watching him. Good doggie! 277 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,238 Okay, thank you, Mishkeen. 278 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,107 That was my old dog that died. 279 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,775 Oh, no! I know, horribly. 280 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,878 They were brothers, so I put Mishkeen's on Ice Pop. 281 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:14,879 Aw. Yeah, I know. 282 00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,448 I'm not so weird after all. 283 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,483 [ Laughter ] 284 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:19,451 All right, thank you! 285 00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:21,653 [ Ding! ] [ Laughter ] 286 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,023 I got Biscotti, the fat angry one. 287 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,391 She's also the leader of the pack, 288 00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:27,826 so she stands up for the other ones. 289 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,761 It's like with you guys. 290 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,129 [ Laughter ] 291 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,731 Come on, puppy. Good girl. 292 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,866 Come on. Come on. Good girl. 293 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,034 Hi, sorry to bother you. 294 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,135 I have to use the restroom. 295 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,637 Would you mind watching my dog real quick? 296 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,038 I know I can't take her over there. 297 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,139 Oh. Yes. 298 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,340 Are you guys gonna be here for a minute, or no? 299 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,742 Is that cool? 300 00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:44,909 Thank you so much, I appreciate it. 301 00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,177 Yeah, her name is, uh... 302 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,379 Biscotti. 303 00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:48,680 Her name is Biscotti. 304 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:51,116 I named her that because I'm an unhealthy fat bastard 305 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,851 that lives and dies by pastry. 306 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,020 I named her that because I'm an un-- 307 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:58,289 I'm an unhealthy fat bastard that lives and dies by pastry. 308 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:01,259 [ Laughter ] 309 00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:02,494 I'll be right back. I'm just gonna run to the restroom. 310 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:03,461 Okay. 311 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:04,696 There's no way the guy's saying it. 312 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:05,697 There's no way. 313 00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:07,098 Sons of bitches. 314 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,367 [ Laughter ] 315 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:12,871 Sal: Hi. 316 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,639 What's, uh, what's his name? 317 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:18,043 Oh, you're dog sitting? 318 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,644 Well, what was the name? 319 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:21,713 All: Biscotti! 320 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:24,315 That's funny. That's a cute name for a dog. 321 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,684 Kind of wonder why he named it that? 322 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,056 [ Laughter ] 323 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,524 Was he a portly man, or... 324 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,826 Stocky fella? 325 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,095 Bigger than you. 326 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,129 Was he, like, an unhealthy, fat bastard? 327 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,597 No. 328 00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,766 Done. It's a loss. 329 00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:44,169 [ Sighs ] Daddy's back. Hi, Biscotti. 330 00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:45,503 Hi, baby. 331 00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:46,971 I ran as fast as I could, 332 00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:48,907 but I'm such an unhealthy fat bastard 333 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,542 that lives and dies by pastry. 334 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,277 [ Buzzer ] [ Laughter ] 335 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,645 Cannoli, come on, this way! 336 00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:54,979 Q: How did Murray get Cannoli? 337 00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:56,314 Well, we went with what people look like. 338 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,083 Like, Cannoli has the smallest head. 339 00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,752 Murray's got the smallest head of us. Without a doubt. 340 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:01,886 Okay, here we go. 341 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,222 Sir, do you know -- is there a men's room around? 342 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:06,524 Yeah, I see it over there. 343 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:07,559 I don't want to take him in the -- 344 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,060 white dogs are problematic with... 345 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,061 Do you mind? 346 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,763 He just asked, "can I watch the dog?" 347 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,865 Thank you so, so much. I really appreciate it. I'll be right back. 348 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,366 It's name is Hennessy. 349 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:16,568 My dog's name is Hennessy. 350 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,936 I named him that 'cause I use him 351 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,404 to hit on smokin' hot black chicks. 352 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,405 I named him that... 353 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,406 [ Laughter ] 354 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,208 I named him that 'cause I use him 355 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,243 to hit on smokin' hot black chicks. 356 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,178 [ Laughter ] 357 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,313 I'll be right back, okay? 358 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:29,647 Thank you so much. I appreciate it. 359 00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:31,449 Okay, Hennessy, I'll be right back. Bye. 360 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,817 I feel good. 361 00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:35,120 I'm just gonna go for a walk in the park 362 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:36,988 and check the facts on this dog. 363 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,990 There's no way that guy is gonna repeat that. 364 00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,526 [ Whistles ] I love petting dogs 365 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,594 Joe: Oh, here goes Q. 366 00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,962 Hello, sweetheart! 367 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,196 Oh, my God. What's her name? 368 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,398 Hennessy? 369 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,700 [ Laughter ] Got one! 370 00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:50,902 Oh, Hennessy, how you doin' sweetheart. 371 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,270 What -- why Hennessy? 372 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,974 Oh. Do you know why they named him Hennessy? 373 00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:57,909 You don't know. 374 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:58,943 No! Come on! 375 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,345 [ Laughter ] 376 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,813 Quick, give me Hennessy! 377 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:03,448 There's some smokin' hot black chicks by the bathroom. 378 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,683 Come on, Hennessy! They love Hennessy! 379 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,452 That's it, they love Hennessy! 380 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,788 [ Buzzer ] 381 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,389 This dog is yanking me. 382 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,459 Tartufo, I gave to Sal because Tartufo is my sexy one. 383 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:18,263 It's the youngest, cutest cotton ball with legs. 384 00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:19,697 Stop walking in front of me. 385 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:20,999 Also, the least trained. 386 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:23,268 So, this should be fun to watch Sal 387 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,970 trying to control my biggest, strongest dog. 388 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,839 No, no, no, no, no! 389 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:30,241 Sit. Sit. 390 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,409 [ Laughter ] 391 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,977 Okay, then just come on this way. 392 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,879 What an alpha-male. 393 00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:37,482 Come here. Come here. Oh, good girl. 394 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,851 Murr: Here we go. Come on. 395 00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,119 Her name's, uh... 396 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,253 Sluff. 397 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,289 Sluff. 398 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,325 I named him that 'cause it's the sound 399 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,560 that his mom made when he slid out. 400 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,931 [ Laughter ] 401 00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,505 Sluff. 402 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,508 I named him that 'cause it's the sound 403 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,742 that his mom made when he slid out. 404 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,545 It was like, sluff. 405 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:10,915 Wow, that is disgusting. 406 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,116 I'm sorry. 407 00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:13,151 Yeah, Sluff. 408 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,652 I named her Sluff 'cause it was the -- 409 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,554 it was actually like, the sound that she made 410 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:17,755 when she was born. 411 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,757 When she came out of her mom, it was like, "sluff." 412 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,125 [ Laughs ] 413 00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:22,894 I know, weird, but, it's funny. 414 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:25,330 I have to use the restroom. Would you... 415 00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:26,431 Like, 30 seconds? 416 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,432 Okay. Come here, honey. 417 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,766 All right, so far. There you go. 418 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,834 Thank you so much again. 419 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:30,935 Joe: All right, let's check it out. 420 00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,904 Q: Joe's going in. 421 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,472 How do you see this one going? 422 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,140 Sal: This is gonna be a tough one, guys. 423 00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,308 So, you have to get her 424 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,410 to talk about the sound that dogs make... 425 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,012 Yeah. Onomatopoeia. 426 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,146 Sluff is onomatopoeia. 427 00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,616 Hi! Hello! 428 00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:46,317 How are you! 429 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,652 Oh, what's her name? 430 00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:50,321 Slurf? 431 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,756 She's saying it, she's saying it. 432 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,291 Yeah, yeah, I'm in so far. Okay. 433 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,293 Why -- why, uh, Slurf, do you know? 434 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,230 [ Groans ] Yes! 435 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,565 That's odd, but it's cool. 436 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,867 Oh, wow. Ba-ba-ba-baaaa! 437 00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:04,235 [ Ding! ] 438 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,803 Narrator: Murr and Joe ran away 439 00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:07,739 with their tails between their legs, 440 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,574 making Murr tonight's big loser. 441 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,975 And Murr's our loser. 442 00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:14,379 That's it, and it has been said by many people, buddy, 443 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,214 that you have no soul. 444 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,350 So today, you are going to be playing Dracula 445 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:22,587 in a local presentation of the "Dracula's Monologues." 446 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,988 What's the Dracula's -- there's no such play. 447 00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,390 Exactly, what's the "Dracula's Monologues"! 448 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:26,524 Don't worry, it's a role 449 00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:27,859 you could really sink your teeth into, my friend. 450 00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:29,327 Don't worry about it. 451 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,296 Now you're getting it. I have to make it up? 452 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,263 Speaking of makeup... 453 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,564 Here we go. 454 00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,033 Go ahead. Oh, fangs! 455 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,434 [ Laughs ] 456 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,771 [ Pipe organ music ] 457 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,072 Q: There he is. 458 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,774 [ Laughter ] 459 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,076 You look so stupid. 460 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:48,212 And now we cut the mike 461 00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:49,347 and leave you to your own devices, bye! 462 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,748 Yeah, good luck, buddy. See you later. 463 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,083 No, wait, wait, wait. Come on! 464 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,785 Come on, don't do that! That's not funny! 465 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,086 Like, I don't know what to say! 466 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,688 Don't worry, it's just the "Dracula Monologues." 467 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:58,222 I don't know the story. 468 00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:00,224 [ Laughter ] 469 00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:01,659 All right, ladies and gentlemen, 470 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,695 "Impractical Jokers" present the "Dracula Monologues." 471 00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:05,063 [ Drum roll ] 472 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,298 [ Upbeat piano music plays ] 473 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,167 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 474 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,569 Oh, by the way, it's not the "Dracula Monologues." 475 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:12,770 [ Laughter ] 476 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,173 You're in a gospel choir as James Murray, right. 477 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,908 And you're about to do this performance. 478 00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:18,343 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 479 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,979 He's got to perform with this gospel choir right now 480 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,080 to the best of his ability. 481 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:23,881 So the choir is in on it, 482 00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:25,316 but the audience has no idea. 483 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,418 Why am I Dracula? 484 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,920 [ Laughter ] 485 00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:29,988 Q: Let's go, let's go! 486 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:33,257 [ Laughter ] 487 00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,726 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 488 00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:37,128 Joe: Look at his face! 489 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,563 Yeah! 490 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,999 [ Laughter ] 491 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,134 Murr: I don't know. Why am I Dracula? 492 00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,235 Just sing. 493 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,971 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 494 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,139 [ Laughter ] ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 495 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,674 Like, what is the audience thinking? 496 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,275 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 497 00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,944 Whoo! ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 498 00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:55,546 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 499 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,149 [ Audience applauding ] [ Laughter ] 500 00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:00,785 ♪ Oh when the saints ♪ 501 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,387 ♪ Go marchin' in ♪ 502 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:06,190 ♪ Oh when the saints go marchin' in ♪ 503 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:09,160 [ Laughter ] 504 00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,928 ♪ Oh ♪ 505 00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:13,531 He's like... He's off beat! He's off beat! 506 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,699 He's off beat! 507 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,135 ♪ When the saints go marchin' in ♪ 508 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:21,372 Murr: ♪ You got to be within that number ♪ 509 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:25,810 ♪ Oh when the saints go marchin' in ♪ 510 00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,578 [ Laughter ] ♪ Oh, when the saints ♪ 511 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:28,846 ♪ Wanna be, wanna be, wanna be, wanna be ♪ 512 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,915 ♪ Wanna be, wanna be wanna be, wanna be ♪ 513 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:34,485 ♪ Wanna be, wanna be wanna be, wanna be ♪ 514 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:37,822 ♪ Oh, when the saints go marchin' in ♪ 515 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,557 Q: Big finish! 516 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,393 Murr: [ Vocalizing ] 517 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,462 The fun's just getting started, buddy. 518 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:47,098 Woman: ♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪ 519 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,533 ♪ Ooh hoo ♪ 520 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:51,269 ♪ Hoo hoo ♪ ♪ Boo hoo ♪ 521 00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,671 ♪ Ooh ♪ 522 00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,039 ♪ Ooh ♪ 523 00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:57,241 [ Laughter ] 524 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,943 Q: Yes! [ Sings indistinctly ] 525 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:03,714 ♪ I remember the day ♪ 526 00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,516 ♪ I remember the hour ♪ 527 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,251 Oh, she's gonna testify, James. 528 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:10,188 ♪ Early in the morning ♪ 529 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,290 ♪ Oh, late at night ♪ 530 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,658 I wonder who testifies next. 531 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,427 [ Laughter ] No! 532 00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:24,235 Oh ♪ 533 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,937 I remember the hour ♪ 534 00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,672 Oh, she's gonna testify, James. 535 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:30,341 ♪ Early in the morning ♪ 536 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:31,742 I wonder who testifies next. 537 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,044 ♪ Oh, late at night ♪ 538 00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:34,412 [ Laughter ] No! 539 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,148 ♪ My troubles ♪ 540 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,282 ♪ No, no ♪ 541 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,651 ♪ No, no ♪ 542 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:44,522 ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 543 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,057 Q: Uh-oh! 544 00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:47,725 Joe: All right, Murr, take the center stage. 545 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,227 ♪ Holy ♪ 546 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,228 Testify! 547 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,896 [ Laughter ] 548 00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,931 Here we go. 549 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,266 Murr: ♪ Hoo hoo ♪ 550 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:58,669 [ Laughter ] 551 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,239 ♪ I... ♪ 552 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:03,941 Woman: Come on. 553 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:07,845 ♪ I'm a man who is pretty strong ♪ 554 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:11,115 ♪ I've got three friends that done do me wrong ♪ 555 00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:12,416 [ Laughter ] 556 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:16,187 ♪ Holy, holy, holy, holy ♪ 557 00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,755 He's like... 558 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:21,526 ♪ No matter what my friends do to me ♪ 559 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:25,730 ♪ I gotta say I kinda love them too-ey ♪ 560 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:30,401 ♪ Holy, holy, holy, holy ♪ 561 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,769 Now, let's speed it up! 562 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,371 [ Laughter ] 563 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,072 ♪ Holy ♪ 564 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,141 ♪ Holy ♪ 565 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:41,045 [ Laughter ] 566 00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,580 ♪ Holy ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 567 00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,081 ♪ Holy ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 568 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,583 ♪ Holy ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 569 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,652 ♪ Holy ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 570 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:48,786 ♪ Holy ♪ 571 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,988 Sal: What is that? 572 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,890 What is that move? 573 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,225 ♪ Holy, Holy ♪ 574 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,826 ♪ 575 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:58,162 -He's doing James Brown! -He's doing James Brown! 576 00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:03,568 Woman: Yes! Yes! 577 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,704 What am I -- what am I watching right now? 578 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,573 ♪ Holy ♪ 579 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,308 ♪ Holy ♪ 580 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,609 ♪ Holy ♪ 581 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:16,948 ♪ Glory, glory, glory ♪ 582 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:25,856 ♪ To the newborn king ♪ 583 00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:28,292 [ Cheers and applause ] 584 00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:30,161 Joe: Look! 585 00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:33,197 [ Laughter ] 586 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,337 Murr, big finish! Come on down. 587 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,539 [ Eerie piano music ] 588 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:44,108 [ Laughter ] 589 00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:47,878 [ Cheers and applause ] 590 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:52,116 [ Laughter ] 591 00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:54,652 Murr: Why am I Dracula? 592 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,087 [ Laughter ] 593 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:59,123 ♪ 594 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,893 e! [ Laughter ] 595 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,195 James Murray just got punished, 596 00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:05,863 and you're watching "Impractical Insider." 597 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,298 We're gonna give you a behind-the-scenes look 598 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:08,499 at everything that happened. 599 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,468 Check this out. 600 00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:11,469 ♪ Oh, when the saints ♪ 601 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:12,470 ♪ Oh, when the saints ♪ 602 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:13,904 ♪ Go marchin' in ♪ 603 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,172 ♪ Go marchin' in ♪ 604 00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:18,609 ♪ When the saints go marchin' in ♪ 605 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,611 What do you like best about this punishment? 606 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,446 One of my favorite things is the, uh, 607 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,781 when there's such a huge switch... 608 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,349 Uh-huh. ...that you don't see coming. 609 00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:26,951 He won't see it coming in a million years. 610 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,987 Joe: It's not the "Dracula's Monologues." 611 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:31,155 Certain days on set, 612 00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:32,923 you know, like, we're in a dingy basement, 613 00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:34,425 or, you know, we're on a boat. 614 00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:36,927 But today, we get to hang out in a theater 615 00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:38,496 and get to listen to this. 616 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:39,664 ♪ Ooh, yeah ♪ 617 00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:40,698 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 618 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:41,832 ♪ It's Murr ♪ 619 00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:42,933 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 620 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,101 ♪ He's gettin' punished ♪ 621 00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,670 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 622 00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:46,704 ♪ Because he lost ♪ 623 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:47,905 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 624 00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:49,240 So yeah, we have a lot of options 625 00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:50,775 for the Dracula outfit. 626 00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:52,376 It's kind of Dracula-inspired. 627 00:21:52,378 --> 00:21:54,045 It's like a crazy, fun vampire. 628 00:21:54,047 --> 00:21:56,681 So, this is one we're probably not gonna use. 629 00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:57,615 Whoa, this is cool. 630 00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:58,916 Like, that's like a pirate one. 631 00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:00,351 I love this -- all this velvet. 632 00:22:00,353 --> 00:22:02,653 This is kind of S&M, though, 633 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,322 which Murr won't like too much. 634 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:05,690 And you can't use that for a punishment. 635 00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:07,925 What have they told you so far? Nothing. 636 00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:09,660 Nothing, but I -- I have ascertained 637 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,996 I'm in some kind of theater, a school of some kind. 638 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:14,865 Today, you are going to be playing Dracula 639 00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:18,102 in a local presentation of the "Dracula's Monologues." 640 00:22:18,104 --> 00:22:19,437 Well, at least I'm dressed in black. 641 00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:22,239 Well... Well, of course you got to change. 642 00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:23,674 Of course you got to change, you know that. 643 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:24,942 Q: You think you're gonna go dressed like this? 644 00:22:24,944 --> 00:22:26,577 Dracula doesn't look like this. 645 00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:28,012 Well, okay, then put a cape on me. 646 00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:29,647 But I'm already in costume. Yeah, yeah. 647 00:22:29,649 --> 00:22:30,915 We're gonna put a cape on you and that's it. 648 00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:33,984 What are your main concerns with this punishment? 649 00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:35,186 Well, they're telling me 650 00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:37,021 I have to improvise an entire play from scratch. 651 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:40,024 Mm-hmm. That -- that's a big [Bleep] concern. 652 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:43,160 So, just beyond there, Murr is getting into makeup, 653 00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:44,995 and he has no idea what's gonna happen. 654 00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:48,733 He really believes that he's doing this performance. 655 00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,368 Q: You look so stupid! 656 00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:51,769 Like, I don't know what to say. 657 00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:53,437 Joe: Don't worry, it's just the "Dracula's Monologues." 658 00:22:53,439 --> 00:22:54,805 I don't know the story! 659 00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:56,307 [ Laughter ] 660 00:22:56,309 --> 00:22:57,808 So, Murr's upstairs already, 661 00:22:57,810 --> 00:23:00,511 and this lovely choir is going in. 662 00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:03,314 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ Joe: You're in a gospel choir as James Murray. 663 00:23:03,316 --> 00:23:05,182 You're about to do this performance. 664 00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:06,484 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ Q: Go, let's go! 665 00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:07,585 Hallelujah 666 00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:09,220 This is all happening right now, baby. 667 00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:10,654 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 668 00:23:10,656 --> 00:23:11,889 It's goin' down. 669 00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,424 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 670 00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:14,925 Whoo! ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 671 00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:17,094 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 672 00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:19,597 [ Laughter ] 673 00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:20,831 Let me just clear something up. 674 00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:22,566 So, the whole time you were worried, actually, 675 00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:24,301 about the punishment, about what you were gonna say and do? 676 00:23:24,303 --> 00:23:25,436 Yeah, I'm like, 677 00:23:25,438 --> 00:23:26,670 I don't know enough about Dracula's history. 678 00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:28,339 I don't know -- I know some basic details, 679 00:23:28,341 --> 00:23:29,473 but I'm like, how am I gonna improvise 680 00:23:29,475 --> 00:23:30,775 a whole play on my own? 681 00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:33,744 [ Laughing ] I read his whole Wikipedia page to research. 682 00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:35,946 We needed to get some soul, did you notice that? Oh, my God. 683 00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:37,748 Yeah, yeah. Your soul? 684 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,418 Got it. Got it, they gave me soul! 685 00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,420 Yeah. It all makes sense now. 686 00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:43,988 I wish we had one more song. 687 00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:45,523 Joe, we have one more song! Oh, we have one more! 688 00:23:45,525 --> 00:23:47,892 Finale, Murray! 689 00:23:47,894 --> 00:23:52,596 ♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪ 690 00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:56,400 ♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪ 691 00:23:56,402 --> 00:24:00,337 ♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪ 692 00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:06,677 ♪ His truth is marching on ♪ 693 00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:16,153 ♪ His truth is marching on ♪ 694 00:24:16,155 --> 00:24:18,122 [ Laughter ] 695 00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:20,391 [ Audience applauds ] 54877

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