All language subtitles for Acting Good s04e04 Bed on Arrival.eng

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Original subtitles

Lips,

you�made�me�drop�everything

just�to�come�see�this?

It's�bad,�right?

No,�not�at�all.

I've�seen�this almost�one�times�before.

Today,�it's�graffiti.

Tomorrow,�total�gang�war.

Why�do�you�think�this�will turn�into�a�gang�problem?

-�Well,�Rose,�the�writing's�on- -�(phone�ringing)

(phone�ringing)

-�It's�work. -�Oh,�man.

-�Let�me�say�that�again. -�Say�what�again?

I�had�the�best�line, like�in�one�of�those�cop�shows.

-�Say�the�gang�thing�again. -�I've�got�shit�to�do,�Lips.

Just�say�it�again.

(sighing)

Then,�can�I�go?

Hurry.�My�knees�hurt.

Oh,�for�fuck's�sakes.�Okay,

why�do�you�think�this will�turn�into�a�gang�problem?

Well,�Rose,�the�writing's�on-

?�Yes,�I�can�love�you�baby�?

?�All�night�long�?

Breaking�news.

A�rather�unsavoury�word has�been�written�on�a�wall

right�here�in�Grouse�Lake.

For�professionalism's�sake, I�won't�repeat�it.

But�the�word�is�'weenuk',

which�means�'balls'�or�'dick' or�the�general�junk�area.

We�urge�all�residents to�close�your�eyes

when�driving�by�Elmer's�Shed�or risk�being�slightly�offended.

In�other�news, the�lagoon�is�full,

so�hold�your�deuces until�further�notice.

Paul: Ma!�B'eb!�PJ?

Stephen�Harper�(in�Paul's�mind:) "Dearest�Paul,�we're�all�out.

"The�house�is�all�yours.

"I�just�waxed�the�floor, "so�please�don't�wear

"the�new�socks I�just�bought�you.

"Love-�I�mean�no.�Like-

"no,�I�mean,�love, yeah,�Stephen�Harper."

Fuck�you,�Stephen�Harper.

Time�to�fuck�around with�my�fuck�around�time.

?

(groaning)

Help!

(rock�music�playing�on�stereo)

-�Hey. -�(rock�music�playing�on�stereo)

-�Excuse�me. -�(rock�music�playing�on�stereo)

Come�on,�man.�I'm�almost�done.

I�really�need�to�pay�for�these.

(rock�music�playing�on�stereo)

The�song�hasn't even�peaked�yet,�bro.

Fine. I'll�go�to�the�North�store.

-�(music�stopping) -�Can't�you�just�ask�her?

I�tried�her,�man.

Fine.�You're�paying for�your�groceries.

-�You�happy�now? -�Yeah.

Real�happy.

(rock�music�playing�on�stereo)

?�But�I�just�can't�stay�away�?

Oww! Why�isn't�anyone�helping�me?

Paul,�are�you�okay?

No,�I'm�not�okay. Do�I�look�okay?

I�heard�you�crying from�across�the�Rez.

-�Here,�let�me�get�you�up. -�No!

Don't�touch�me with�your�dweeb�hands.

But�I�need�to�get�you to�the�nursing�station.

I�need�Rose. She�fixes�everything.

You�need�medical�attention.

You're�just�gonna�get�me to�take�my�shirt�off

and�try�to�touch�my�body.

It's�a�normal�medical�practice.

Sorry,�Dr.�Pervert.

Rose�is�the�only�one�that understands�my�pain,

her�and�Fats�Domino.

Okay.�But�how�am�I�supposed�to get�you�up�if�you�won't�move?

You're�the�one�that�went to�medication�school;

you�figure�it�out.

-�(wheels�squeaking) -�Hurry�up,�man!

It�hurts!

(straining)

-�There�you�are. -�(gasping)

Fuck,�Lips.

If�we�don't�get�on this�graffiti�thing,

it's�going�to�get�serious.

(sighing) Give�it�up,�Lips.

First, it's�the�weenuk�graffiti.

Then,�moose�tipping.

Next,�RoboCop�3.

This�is�the�Rez.

We�have�like three�computers...�combined.

That's�what they�said�on�RoboCop�2

before�RoboCop�3�happened.

We�don't�have�a�gang�problem.

-�Yet. -�What�do�you�wanna�do�about�it?

We�need�to�find

the�biggest,�scariest, former�gang�member,

bring�them�in, and�scare�these�kids�straight.

And�where�are�we going�to�find�that?

Right�here.

You�probably�heard of�the�Southside�Crazies.

And�if�you�haven't, let�me�refresh�your�memory.

We�were�the�baddest�broads, completely�lawless.

The�whole�Rez�was terrified�and�we�loved�it.

-�Whoa. -�If�my�gang�life

can�steer�even�one�youth towards�a�better�future,

then�it's�worth�it.

Well,�we�do�have�some extra�money�in�the�budget

for�outreach.

It�won't�be�easy, but�I'll�dust�off�the�leathers

and�round�up�the�gang.

All�right,�Schlub�Club. Both�of�you�want�the�job,

but�only�one�of�you are�going�to�get�it.

You,

didn't�I�tell�you�to�go fuck�yourself�three�years�ago?

-�Yeah,�man. -�Well,�did�you�do�it?

-�Yeah,�man. -�Good.

You're�in�the�lead. Now,�listen�up.

If�you're�a�button-down, corn-fed,�uptight,

marshmallow�motherfucker, then�go�to�the�North�Store.

-�(door�opening) -�This�is�the�Yeah�Man.

(door�closing)

Didn't�expect�to�see�you�here.

Sorry�I'm�late. I�slept�in.

Late,�huh?

Shows�no�initiative...

which�actually takes�initiative.

I�like�that.

All�right,

let's�see�what�you�got.

What�are�you�waiting�for? Clean�up!

Right�away!

(beeping)

Hard�work�don't�pay,

but�it�keeps�you out�of�my�way.

B'eb!

(breathing�heavily)

Why�are�you�in�our�bed?

I�fell.�Help!

I'm�working.

I�told�him�to�come to�the�nursing�station.

Just�do�what�the�nurse�says.

He's�not�a�nurse. He's�a�pervert.

Nurses�aren't�perverts.

Thanks,�Rose.

He�keeps�saying�that, and�it�hurts�my�feelings.

Shut�up,�Logan! I'm�the�one�that's�hurt!

Just�do�what�Logan�says, and�you'll�be�fine.

So,�you�don't�want�to�help�me?

Paul,�I�love�you,�but�you have�help�and�I'm�working.

Logan,�take�him to�the�nursing�station.

Fine,�but�I�gotta�make a�couple�stops�first.

And�all�of�this�you�pulling�me around�is�making�me�thirsty.

And�watch�out for�all�the�bumps,�man.

I'm�getting�car�sick.

(straining)

I'm�not�here�to point�fingers�at�you,

and�especially�you,

even�though we�know�you�did�it.

But�this�crime�wave has�got�to�stop,

which�is�why�we�brought in�the�Southside�Crazies.

They're�hardened ex-gang�members,

and�they're�going to�scare�you�straight.

(rock�music�playing�on�stereo)

All:�A-ha!

We're�gonna�have�to�dig�deep.

See�this�scar?

I�got�it�from a�card�game�gone�wrong.

What�happened? Were�you�cheating?

Paper�cut.

New�deck�of�cards. I�was�reckless.

Now,�I�have�to�live�with�this scar�for�the�rest�of�my�life.

Uh... (clearing�throat)

Why�don't�you�tell�the�kids about�one�of�your�deadly�crimes?

You�want�deadly,�eh?

I�remember�this�one�time,

it�was�about�7�p.m.

The�devil's�hour!

Rita:�Ningii-baapa'igemin biiwide�oshkwaandeming.

Guess�what?

Right�before they�answered,�we�ran�away.

Hilda:�On�purpose!

Twice!

Wow.�Goosebumps.

Forget�this.

We're�just�cleaning�the�store for�you�'cause�you're�lazy.

Uh,�no.

Actually, this�is�a�test.

Yeah,�sure�it�is. I'm�outta�here.

Slacker:�Yeah,�man. More�like�weird�guy.

Well, go�fuck�yourselves�then.

So,�do�I�get�the�job?

Your�training has�just�begun.

Meet�me�at�the�river...

...for�phase�one.

(electronic�beeping)

(electronic�beeping�continues)

Logan:�You�know, you�shouldn't�eat�those.

And�yet,�here�we�are.

Okay,�well...

So,�the�good�news�is, the�x-rays�show�that�your�back

and�your�ankle, they're�both�fine.

You're�right. This�is�good�news.

But... Oh.

Your�cholesterol is�dangerously�high.

Isn't�that�the�shit they�put�in�margarine?

Paul,�your�blood is�basically�gravy.

Ah, I�don't�mean�that�in�a�good�way.

Nurse�Logan,�what�are�you trying�to�say,�man?

I'm�saying�a�little�diet,

a�little�exercise, you�know?

You'll�be�better�than�ever.

Oh,�a�little�diet, a�little�exercise,�you�say?

Yes.

I've�heard�enough! Take�me�home!

You're�actually�fine. You�can�totally�walk.

You�won't�take�me? Ha!�Fine!

Aah!

You�called?

Yes,�sir. Are�you�a�fan�of�$50?

Actually,�yeah. Yeah,�I�am.

Good! You're�my�new�Nurse�Logan.

Take�me�home�immediately!

Sorry,�Logan.

This�guy�goes where�the�money�flows.

Bye-bye. (cackling)

-�Hey,�Leon,�what's�up? -�You're�late,�man.

For�what?

You�said�"meet�me�by�the�river, phase�one."

But�am�I�late�or...

do�you�lack�the�wisdom to�know�what�I�was�doing?

So,�you�did�forget.

No. The�first�test�was�patience

and�you�clearly�didn't�pass.

For�real,�fuck?

For�real,�fuck. But�that's�okay.

The�next�test... begins�now.

Where�we�going?

Uh...

Phase�2.

All�right,�that's�it!

I'm�fucking�done,�bro.

It's�like�you�gained weight�since�we�started.

What�do�you�mean you're�fucking�done?

The�deal�was to�wheel�me�home!

No�chance,�man. Where's�my�$50?

No�completion, no�cash,�dumb�guy.

Logan: Oh,�there�you�are.

Oh,�hey,�look�who�it�is, my�favourite�neestow!

Hey,�you�want to�make�50�bucks?

You�can't�keep living�the�way�you�are,�Paul.

That�sounds�like a�challenge,�man.

See�those�kids�over�there, playing�with�their�dads?

They're�so�fun, so�free.

So�connected. What's�it�to�you?

That�could�be�you�and�PJ,

but�only�if�you make�some�changes.

And�you're�willing�to�help�me?

I'll�make�it�my�mission.

Okay,�fine,�but�wheel�me into�the�shade�first.

I'm�starting�to�get�hot

and�my�belly's�starting to�sweat�a�little�bit.

Okay.�Ready...

(straining)

And�then,�when�Mrs.�Harper got�on�the�phone,

we�hung�up.

Didn't�even think�twice�about�it.

God,�that's�cold.

The�first�time�we�did�it, it�really�messed�me�up.

But�after�a�while,

I�just�did�it for�the�thrill.

Maanoo,�niiji'kwe. We�were�all�different�then.

You're�brave for�sharing�that.

Gilda... you're�hurting�me.

Okay,�let's�take�a�break.

I�think�you�need some�time�to�recover.

Yeah,�that's�a�good�idea.

Okay,�come.

Okay,�no�offense,

but�your�stories are�kind�of�undeadly.

Wegonen?

Yeah.�Prank�calls?�Fart�noises? Staying�up�past�your�bedtime?

We�rode�our�bikes without�helmets�once.

I'm�worried that�we're�losing�them.

Gego�waanendagen.

We'll�crank�it�up�a�notch,

really�scare�these little�assholes�straight.

(inhaling�sharply) Behold,�phase�two.

We�look�ridiculous,�bro.

What�you're feeling�is�humility.

That�is�what water�karate�has�taught�me

and�what I�am�going�to�teach�you.

I�learned karate�in�jail,�bro.

And�trust�me, there�was�no�water.

You�think this�is�stupid,�eh?

Knock�it�off;�it's�cold!

Dean?

Dean: Relax�your�mind,�Cousin�Leon.

Feel�the�water.

This�is�where�we're�born, where�we�return,

and�what�we�make sweet�red�juice�with.

Where�are�you?

Dean: This�is�a�time�of�cleansing.

Fight�me, and�wash�your�old�self�away.

The�fuck?!

Good!�You're�becoming one�with�the�water.

I'm�ready�to�learn.

Then...�show�me.

Oh!

(both�making�karate�noises)

I�don't�think�we should�be�watching�this,�bro.

(both�making�karate�noises)

Okay,�let's�do some�stretches.

You�wanna feel�it�right�here.

?

The�next�step is�forgiveness.

How's�this�going�to help�me�work�in�your�store?

Knock�on�that�door and�find�out.

You're freaking�me�out,�man.

To�enter�Yeah�Man, you�must�be�free�of�your�past.

Is�this�a�cult or�a�part-time�job?

(knocking)

What�the�fuck are�you�doing�here?

Nicky!

Remember,�seek�forgiveness and�you�shall�be�free.

Whatever,�Dean. I�ought�to�pop�you�one

right�in�the�lie�hole.

-�Um... -�The�nerve...

to�just�shack�up and�then�ghost�me�like�that.

I�was�gonna leave�a�note.

A�note?

You�stole my�washing�machine.

And�you�left a�dead�crow�in�my�freezer.

Look, I�want�to�say�sorr-

Sorr...

(exhaling�sharply, clearing�throat)

Sor...

...ry.

And?

I'll�get�you a�new�washing�machine?

And?

Take�the�crow�out of�your�freezer?

Okay,�fine.

Now,�take�a�long�walk off�a�short�dock.

Phase�three is�complete.

One�time,

we�knocked�over�a�credit�union

with�nothing but�nylons�on�our�heads

and�a�bag�of homemade�bricks.

We�robbed�a�casino

and�we�doubled�the�money at�the�slots�on�the�way�out.

We�had�so�much�zhooniyaa,

we�had�to�stash�it in�a�hollowed-out�moose.

It�was�nothing�but fancy�clothes�and�fast�cars.

Diamond�bracelets and�gold�bars.

Money�stacking�all�night.

We�were�living�large.

Oh,�yeah. Crime�really�does�pay.

I�didn't�even�want to�be�in�a�gang�before,

but�now�that's�all�I�want.

Aaniish�dash�iwe?

You�have�now entered�phase�four.

Fuckin'�weirdo.

(door�opening,�closing)

Help!

Beanpole�twisted her�ankle�hauling�water�jugs.

Shit,�let's�go!

Hurry�up!

(breathing�heavily)

Okay,�nice�try.

Nice�try,�what?

I�leave�the�store�alone and�fail�phase�four?

Beanpole's stuck�in�the�mud?

That�Dean,�he�was�nuts�with�the water�karate,�but�this�is�good.

Jesus,�boy!

Sorry,�Gramps, I�got�a�store�to�look�after.

(breathing�heavily) Ahh!

And�that's�how�you pass�a�fuckin'�test.

'Boom'�goes�the�explosion!

All�right,�then, phase�four,�pi�ata�time.

-�But�I�just�passed�phase�four. -�What?

Gramps�came�in,�begging�me�to help�Beanpole,�but�I�stayed�put.

No,�man, phase�four's�a�party.

We're�gonna bust�open�a�pi�ata.

-�So,�I�got�the�job? -�Yeah,�man.

Um,�should�we go�save�beanpole?

We'll�get�there.

Let's�see�what's inside�this�thing�first.

Ha-ha!

That's�it. I�can't�do�this!

You�were�supposed to�follow�along.

-�I�did! -�For�like�two�seconds.

This�was�the�closest

I've�ever�been�to�even�thinking about�working�out.

I'm�sorry.

I�know�I�said I'd�help�you,�but�I�can't.

I�quit.

Man,�we�were�so�close.

Maybe�it's�me.

Maybe�I�am�just... a�terrible,�perverted�nurse.

Hey,�man, take�a�look�over�there.

Tell�me, what�do�you�see?

(nurses�chattering�happily)

Some�nurses, playing�in�the�park.

And�don't�you�want to�be�just�like�them?

So�fun.

So�free.

Yeah!�I�do!

I�don't�know�what I�was�thinking!�I'm�sorry!

-�Paul:�Ha-ha! -�Of�course�I�do.

Yeah,�there's�my�nurse!

Now, pull�me�to�the�store!

I�want�to�celebrate�with some�chips�and�some�Bepsi.

You're�impossible.

Actually,�make�it�two�Bepsis

on�the�account�of all�the�exercising�you�did.

Did�you�get�that? Nurse�Logan?�Logan!

So,�where�do�I�go to�join�a�gang?

Do�you�have�to�sign�up?

I�want�it�so�bad.

Whoa,�whoa,�whoa. I�think�what�the�Crazies

meant�to�say�is�that crime�doesn't�pay,�right?

I'll�say�what�you�want for�the�right�price.

My�gangster�name's gonna�be�Jimmy�Calzones.

I�wanna�be�Jimmy�Calzones.

Nobody's�gonna�be�a�Calzone.

You�wanna�know�what�the�gang life�is�really�like?�Hmm?

I�was�deep�in�it.

Gigii-ayaa?

Yeah,�big�time.

What�was�your�gang�name?

Oh.�Uh... Tony�Capone.

Both:�Cool.

No,�it's�not�cool.

That's�the�point. (exhaling�sharply)

See�this�arm?�Fake.

Lost�it�in�a�machete�fight over�a�scratch�ticket.

I've�been�in�and�out of�jail�so�many�times,

they�named�a�wing�after�me,

the,�uh,�Tony�Capone�wing.

Onishin!

And�I�almost�let

that�life�get�the�best�of�me,

the-�the�shootings and�the�robbings

and�the,�uh- the�murderings.

-�Then,�what? -�And�then,�I�met�Paul,

the�love�of�my�life.

Wait.�So,�you're�saying,

if�we�join�a�gang,�we�might end�up�with�someone�like�Paul?

Doesn't�he�wash his�jeet�in�the�sink?

Okay,�that�was one�and�a�half�times.

Forget�it.

Let's�go,�Blue.

A�life�of�crime is�no�life�for�me.

Gigii-doodaamin!

Can't�even tell�the�difference.

(breathing�heavily)

Oh,�you�really just�gave�up�on�me,�eh?

After�everything we�just�been�through!

-�How�dare�you? -�Wait,�wait,�wait,�wait,�wait.

How�did�you�get�here?

Oh,�wouldn't�you�like�to�know?

And�since�you�do, I�walked.

So,�I�got�you�to�exercise?

Oh,�don't�try�and�change the�subject,�my�friend.

Walking�is�exercise.

Even�if�it's angry�walking?

Any�walking.�The�point�is,

you�just�made�your�first steps�to�becoming�healthier,

and�I�inspired�you�to�do�it.

-�Why�are�you�making�that�face? -�Just-�just�a�hug.

No!

Everyone�knows�that�hugs are�just�a�gateway

for�you�to�ask�me to�take�off�my�shirt.�Hmph!

You're�walking. You're�still�walking!

(door�closing)

Ah,�I�did�that.

All�right,�man, takin'�off�early.

Water�karate�time. Let's�go.

Wait. Is�this�another�test?

No�test,�bro. You�already�passed.

We're�just�gonna�shut�the�store down�and�go�splash�fight?

Yeah,�man. I�do�it�all�the�time.

Look.

For�real? In�the�middle�of�the�day?

But�we've�got�work�to�do.

I'm�sorry.

Are�you�some�kind�of...

button-down,�corn-fed,�uptight, marshmallow�motherfucker?

Let's�fucking�go,�bro!

All�right!

(door�opening)

(door�closing)

Hello?

Hello?

I'm�still�here.

Oh...

I�always�dreamed�of something�like�this.

?�All�my�life�?

?�On�my�own!�?

?�Messin'�around�when I�could�be�at�home�?

?�Every�damn�night�?

?�It's�all�the�same�?

?�Won't�be�long before�I'm�back�again�?

?�But�I�just can't�stay�away!�?

?�Not�when�the�sun is�on�my�chest�?

?�No,�I�just�can't�stay�away�?

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