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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,230 --> 00:00:08,631 [theme music] 2 00:00:08,733 --> 00:00:10,104 - ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 3 00:00:10,139 --> 00:00:12,074 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 4 00:00:12,109 --> 00:00:13,438 - ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 5 00:00:13,507 --> 00:00:15,341 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 6 00:00:15,443 --> 00:00:16,505 - ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 7 00:00:16,607 --> 00:00:18,443 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 8 00:00:18,478 --> 00:00:20,281 - ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 9 00:00:20,349 --> 00:00:22,118 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪ 10 00:00:22,187 --> 00:00:23,283 - ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪ 11 00:00:23,352 --> 00:00:25,622 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 12 00:00:25,690 --> 00:00:28,585 - ♪ [mumbling] ♪ 13 00:00:28,621 --> 00:00:29,752 - ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪ 14 00:00:29,787 --> 00:00:32,097 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 15 00:00:34,798 --> 00:00:37,665 [bright music] 16 00:00:37,767 --> 00:00:39,999 ♪ ♪ 17 00:00:40,101 --> 00:00:44,606 [indistinct chatter] 18 00:00:44,642 --> 00:00:47,976 ♪ ♪ 19 00:00:48,011 --> 00:00:50,173 - How was school today, bud? 20 00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:52,810 - It was fine. 21 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,481 - Look, Stan, I know it's been really hard for you 22 00:00:55,517 --> 00:00:57,720 the past month, with us not having a home. 23 00:00:57,822 --> 00:00:59,723 - Yeah, it sucks. 24 00:00:59,825 --> 00:01:01,156 - I've tried to find work, 25 00:01:01,225 --> 00:01:02,518 but there's just not a lot out there. 26 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:04,026 And with the government shutdown, 27 00:01:04,128 --> 00:01:06,658 I can't get my job back with the USGS. 28 00:01:06,693 --> 00:01:10,130 Times are hard, and I know we all miss Tegridy. 29 00:01:10,165 --> 00:01:11,829 - I don't miss Tegridy, Dad. 30 00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,199 I just hate that our family is living in a motel. 31 00:01:14,301 --> 00:01:15,667 It's really embarrassing. 32 00:01:15,736 --> 00:01:17,835 - Well, that's what I need to tell you, Stan. 33 00:01:17,871 --> 00:01:20,804 There's some good news-- we're moving out of the motel. 34 00:01:20,839 --> 00:01:23,641 - Wait, really? We can live in a house again? 35 00:01:23,676 --> 00:01:26,346 - Well, no, we can't afford a house, so... 36 00:01:26,414 --> 00:01:28,851 we're moving in with your grandpa. 37 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,046 - Moving in with Grandpa? 38 00:01:34,189 --> 00:01:36,025 - This is a bunch of bull crap! 39 00:01:36,094 --> 00:01:38,026 First you stick me in this place, 40 00:01:38,061 --> 00:01:40,093 and then you all come along? 41 00:01:40,195 --> 00:01:41,732 - Pretty nice, huh, guys? 42 00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:43,427 There's a TV, a microwave, 43 00:01:43,529 --> 00:01:45,531 and we have Bingo on Thursdays. 44 00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:47,671 - There has to be somewhere else we can live. 45 00:01:47,706 --> 00:01:48,932 - Come on, Stan. 46 00:01:49,034 --> 00:01:51,534 You have that space over there by Grandpa's shit pan. 47 00:01:51,603 --> 00:01:53,206 - You can't make me stay here. 48 00:01:53,241 --> 00:01:54,909 This is completely inhumane. 49 00:01:55,011 --> 00:01:56,612 - That's what I said! 50 00:01:56,715 --> 00:01:58,682 Didn't work. 51 00:01:58,717 --> 00:02:01,683 [lively music] 52 00:02:01,719 --> 00:02:07,687 ♪ ♪ 53 00:02:09,059 --> 00:02:12,131 [hammers pounding, metal clangs] 54 00:02:14,762 --> 00:02:17,398 - OK, so then over here is where you're gonna have 55 00:02:17,467 --> 00:02:19,903 the big golden pillars that you guys wanted. 56 00:02:19,938 --> 00:02:21,234 - Ah, yeah! That's great! 57 00:02:21,303 --> 00:02:23,041 - OK, and then right over here 58 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,970 is where we're gonna put your dance floor. 59 00:02:25,073 --> 00:02:26,237 - All right! 60 00:02:26,306 --> 00:02:27,904 - Wait, dance floor? 61 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:30,243 I thought we were knocking the East Wing down 62 00:02:30,312 --> 00:02:33,081 to make room for the nursery. 63 00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:35,549 - The what? - The nursery! 64 00:02:35,584 --> 00:02:37,915 You said all this remodeling was for the baby, 65 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,724 not to make room for more of your stupid parties. 66 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,558 - Hey, relax, guy! 67 00:02:42,593 --> 00:02:44,890 We can just stick the baby in the bathroom or something. 68 00:02:44,925 --> 00:02:49,767 - Wow! OK, so obviously I have no say in this remodel. 69 00:02:49,802 --> 00:02:50,994 - Mr. President, sir. 70 00:02:51,096 --> 00:02:54,137 I'm very sorry, but we need to speak with you urgently. 71 00:02:54,239 --> 00:02:56,102 It's a matter of national security. 72 00:02:56,171 --> 00:02:59,606 [dramatic music] 73 00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:02,605 We don't want to frighten you, Mr. President, 74 00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:05,108 but we've received intelligence 75 00:03:05,177 --> 00:03:10,246 that someone might be trying to stop your baby from being born. 76 00:03:10,281 --> 00:03:11,620 - What? 77 00:03:11,689 --> 00:03:13,350 Who? 78 00:03:13,452 --> 00:03:15,618 - Hey! Relax, guy! 79 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,523 - We don't know who yet, sir, 80 00:03:17,625 --> 00:03:19,856 but Pam Bondi has been looking into it. 81 00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:22,125 - That's right, sir, we won't let any harm 82 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,302 come to the baby of the greatest president that ever lived. 83 00:03:25,337 --> 00:03:26,830 You are without equal, sir-- - Uh, hey, Pam. 84 00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:28,799 - And we are honored to be-- Pam. Pam, sorry. 85 00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:31,136 You got a little shit on your nose there. 86 00:03:31,205 --> 00:03:33,975 - Oh, do I? 87 00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:34,977 Did I get it? 88 00:03:35,045 --> 00:03:36,377 - No, it's still there. 89 00:03:36,479 --> 00:03:38,816 - If someone is trying to harm the baby, 90 00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:40,447 then we must know who. 91 00:03:40,482 --> 00:03:43,985 - Well, there is... one theory. 92 00:03:44,054 --> 00:03:46,390 [sinister music] 93 00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:50,822 Some people believe that by demolishing the East Wing, 94 00:03:50,857 --> 00:03:56,160 we may have unleashed some sort of...wrath. 95 00:03:56,196 --> 00:03:57,329 ♪ ♪ 96 00:03:57,397 --> 00:04:00,363 - What kind of wrath? 97 00:04:00,465 --> 00:04:02,837 - Vengeful... 98 00:04:02,905 --> 00:04:04,038 wrath. 99 00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:07,039 [thunder booming] 100 00:04:07,141 --> 00:04:09,809 ♪ ♪ 101 00:04:14,853 --> 00:04:18,351 [phone ringing] 102 00:04:18,419 --> 00:04:20,190 - What the hell is going on? 103 00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:22,656 I was supposed to be in Washington. 104 00:04:22,692 --> 00:04:25,426 - There has been a change in plan, Mr. Thiel. 105 00:04:25,528 --> 00:04:28,764 They are on to us at the White House. 106 00:04:28,866 --> 00:04:30,032 - But how? 107 00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:31,861 How did they find out? 108 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:34,102 - Someone must have heard us talking. 109 00:04:34,204 --> 00:04:36,367 Do you still have the child? 110 00:04:36,403 --> 00:04:37,667 - Yes, he's here. 111 00:04:37,702 --> 00:04:39,837 I have him heavily sedated. 112 00:04:39,872 --> 00:04:42,539 It should last another six, seven hours. 113 00:04:42,607 --> 00:04:43,881 - [chortling laughter] 114 00:04:43,949 --> 00:04:45,215 [mumbling] Six, seven! 115 00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,284 - But I can't keep him here forever. 116 00:04:47,386 --> 00:04:50,881 - You'll just have to wait until it is safe. 117 00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:54,722 I think some brownnoser here is after my job. 118 00:05:05,902 --> 00:05:07,099 - Hey. 119 00:05:07,202 --> 00:05:09,066 Come on in. 120 00:05:13,072 --> 00:05:15,774 You guys can't tell anybody that I'm living here. 121 00:05:15,877 --> 00:05:17,743 - Stan, you shouldn't be embarrassed, all right? 122 00:05:17,778 --> 00:05:19,447 Everyone's having a hard time right now. 123 00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:21,250 - Yeah, everyone's having a hard time. 124 00:05:21,319 --> 00:05:22,549 And you know what the problem is? 125 00:05:22,584 --> 00:05:24,120 Nobody's doing anything about it. 126 00:05:24,222 --> 00:05:25,388 How many weeks has it been now, 127 00:05:25,424 --> 00:05:27,382 dealing with one stupid thing after another? 128 00:05:27,418 --> 00:05:30,258 The truth is, I think a lot of people are just afraid to admit 129 00:05:30,293 --> 00:05:33,392 that South Park sucks now. 130 00:05:33,427 --> 00:05:34,762 - South Park sucks now? 131 00:05:34,797 --> 00:05:36,762 - Yeah, everyone knows it. South Park sucks now. 132 00:05:36,798 --> 00:05:38,732 And it's because of all this political shit. 133 00:05:38,767 --> 00:05:40,797 We're just getting totally bogged down in it. 134 00:05:40,899 --> 00:05:42,839 Remember when we used to do stuff? 135 00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:43,967 Just us guys? 136 00:05:44,070 --> 00:05:45,776 Ever since all this political crap took over, 137 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,275 it's like--what? 138 00:05:47,311 --> 00:05:48,610 Like--like what happened to us? 139 00:05:48,679 --> 00:05:50,244 Like, Kenny, I haven't even heard you say anything 140 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:51,981 in, like, four months. 141 00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:53,611 - [muffled speech] 142 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,777 - You see? That's what I mean! 143 00:05:54,846 --> 00:05:56,311 We don't even know what to say. 144 00:05:56,413 --> 00:05:58,751 South Park's getting ruined, and all of us Gen Alpha kids 145 00:05:58,787 --> 00:06:00,356 are just sitting here, watching it happen. 146 00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:02,486 - You're right, dude. - [muffled] Yeah! 147 00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:03,989 - But what do we do? 148 00:06:05,526 --> 00:06:07,795 - I know exactly what to do. 149 00:06:09,466 --> 00:06:10,760 Hey, guys, are you sick and tired 150 00:06:10,796 --> 00:06:12,028 of what's happening to our town? 151 00:06:12,131 --> 00:06:14,438 Do you feel like it's broken and going nowhere? 152 00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,203 Then click below and join our online community 153 00:06:16,305 --> 00:06:17,637 at South Park Sucks Now. 154 00:06:17,672 --> 00:06:19,001 Things are clearly not right here, 155 00:06:19,103 --> 00:06:20,604 and if you're like us, you are fed up! 156 00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,007 - South Park Sucks Now! 157 00:06:22,109 --> 00:06:24,478 - So please, like and subscribe, smash the button, upvote-- 158 00:06:24,547 --> 00:06:25,647 whatever the hell you need to do, 159 00:06:25,682 --> 00:06:28,984 because together, we can make a difference. 160 00:06:29,053 --> 00:06:34,218 [eerie music] 161 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,822 DAN SCAVINO: Mr. President, we don't want you to be afraid. 162 00:06:36,891 --> 00:06:40,192 Tell us exactly what it is you think you saw. 163 00:06:40,294 --> 00:06:41,696 ♪ ♪ 164 00:06:41,798 --> 00:06:44,163 - Ever since I tore down the East Wing, there's... 165 00:06:44,232 --> 00:06:45,970 this thing 166 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,697 that keeps appearing. 167 00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,571 - What kind of thing? 168 00:06:51,673 --> 00:06:53,977 - Sometimes I see it in a mirror. 169 00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:55,711 Or in the hallway. 170 00:06:55,813 --> 00:06:57,809 PAM BONDI: President Trump, you are an incredible man. 171 00:06:57,844 --> 00:07:00,012 Whatever this is, we have your back. 172 00:07:00,047 --> 00:07:02,513 - Uh, Pam. Pam, you got some shit on your nose again. 173 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,487 - Oh, really? 174 00:07:04,523 --> 00:07:07,190 - Mr. President, this entity you speak of, 175 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,853 how many times has it appeared? 176 00:07:08,921 --> 00:07:11,589 - It appears more and more lately. 177 00:07:11,691 --> 00:07:13,327 I-I can't get away from it. 178 00:07:13,362 --> 00:07:14,590 It's everywhere I go. 179 00:07:14,692 --> 00:07:16,024 [music stops] 180 00:07:16,093 --> 00:07:18,529 [whispering] It's here right now. 181 00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,068 In the corner. 182 00:07:20,170 --> 00:07:24,407 [ominous tone] 183 00:07:24,509 --> 00:07:27,778 - I'm pretty sure that's your wife, sir. 184 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,443 - My wife? 185 00:07:29,546 --> 00:07:31,079 [whispering] What does it want? 186 00:07:31,181 --> 00:07:33,879 [ominous tone] 187 00:07:33,948 --> 00:07:36,554 - Maybe it's somehow trying to communicate. 188 00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,716 Don't worry, we won't let anything happen to you. 189 00:07:38,785 --> 00:07:40,421 - Ah! Where did Pam Bondi go? 190 00:07:40,524 --> 00:07:42,589 - What? - Pam Bondi! She's gone! 191 00:07:42,691 --> 00:07:44,225 - But she was sitting right here! 192 00:07:44,293 --> 00:07:45,259 - Pam? - Pam? 193 00:07:45,361 --> 00:07:46,755 - Where's Pam Bondi? 194 00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,123 - I'm right here, sir! 195 00:07:48,225 --> 00:07:50,797 - [gasps] Look, it's back. - What's back? 196 00:07:50,899 --> 00:07:52,532 - You've got some shit on your nose again. 197 00:07:52,568 --> 00:07:55,031 - Oh, my God! What is going on? 198 00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,937 - That thing! It's not there anymore. 199 00:07:58,736 --> 00:07:59,809 [ominous tone] 200 00:07:59,911 --> 00:08:01,205 Ah! 201 00:08:07,085 --> 00:08:08,713 [tones chime] 202 00:08:08,748 --> 00:08:10,053 PA: Good morning, seniors. 203 00:08:10,088 --> 00:08:11,720 It's 6:30 a.m. 204 00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:14,090 Rise and shine for your morning medication. 205 00:08:14,159 --> 00:08:15,920 - Ugh, God, 6:30? 206 00:08:15,989 --> 00:08:18,090 - Yeah, it fucking sucks, doesn't it? 207 00:08:26,169 --> 00:08:27,431 - Holy shit. 208 00:08:27,466 --> 00:08:28,498 - What? 209 00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:30,272 - Holy shit. 210 00:08:30,307 --> 00:08:33,168 756,000 likes, you guys. 211 00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:35,404 We just built a massive online community. 212 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,946 - Wow. I can't believe how many people agree with us. 213 00:08:38,015 --> 00:08:40,117 - I thought we could get 50 or 60 kids from school to sign up, 214 00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,276 but this is incredible. 215 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,779 - All right, we've got everyone's attention. 216 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:43,916 So what do we do now? 217 00:08:43,951 --> 00:08:45,782 - What do you mean, dude? It's obvious. 218 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,452 It's time for phase two. 219 00:08:47,521 --> 00:08:49,853 [gentle music] 220 00:08:49,955 --> 00:08:51,990 Hey, guys, if you've come here, 221 00:08:52,093 --> 00:08:54,093 then you're likely joining the chorus of voices 222 00:08:54,128 --> 00:08:56,663 that's fed up with the direction our town is going. 223 00:08:56,765 --> 00:08:59,368 We all want change in our community. 224 00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:01,271 And now there's an opportunity 225 00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:03,268 to truly make your voices heard. 226 00:09:03,303 --> 00:09:07,677 Introducing the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency coin. 227 00:09:07,779 --> 00:09:09,647 This digital meme token is your way to be a part 228 00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,441 of the fastest-growing community in America. 229 00:09:11,476 --> 00:09:13,776 This used to be a great town before all the politics came 230 00:09:13,812 --> 00:09:14,977 and ruined it all. 231 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,453 Get in on our crypto meme coin 232 00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:18,155 with this incredible presale offer. 233 00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:19,623 Each coin is just $9.95, 234 00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:21,355 but could be worth ten times that overnight! 235 00:09:21,457 --> 00:09:22,821 - Wait, a meme coin? 236 00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,321 - Do you want South Park to change? 237 00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:27,464 Then order your coin today at SouthParkSucksNow.com. 238 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,631 Stan Marsh is not a financial advisor 239 00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:29,664 affiliated with any financial institution. 240 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:30,632 Digital assets are highly volatile 241 00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:31,631 and may involve significant risk, 242 00:09:31,666 --> 00:09:32,732 including loss of all funds. 243 00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:34,134 Ownership of South Park Sucks Now Coin 244 00:09:34,169 --> 00:09:35,164 does not represent equity, profit sharing, or ownership 245 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:36,531 of any company platform or project. 246 00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:37,838 Participation is voluntary and should only be undertaken 247 00:09:37,874 --> 00:09:38,838 by individuals who fully understand the risks 248 00:09:38,907 --> 00:09:40,038 associated with block chain assets. 249 00:09:40,141 --> 00:09:41,338 South Park Sucks Now Coin is not registered with 250 00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:42,912 or regulated by the SEC or any financial authority. 251 00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:44,242 Please review all disclosures and consult a licensed financial 252 00:09:44,344 --> 00:09:45,177 advisor before engaging in digital asset transactions. 253 00:09:47,317 --> 00:09:49,515 [thunder booming] 254 00:09:49,551 --> 00:09:52,516 [ominous music] 255 00:09:52,552 --> 00:09:59,697 ♪ ♪ 256 00:10:16,411 --> 00:10:17,739 [scraping] 257 00:10:17,841 --> 00:10:19,513 ♪ ♪ 258 00:10:19,548 --> 00:10:20,883 [shower curtain scrapes] 259 00:10:25,419 --> 00:10:26,718 ♪ ♪ 260 00:10:26,753 --> 00:10:29,685 [Towelie screaming] 261 00:10:29,721 --> 00:10:32,690 ♪ ♪ 262 00:10:32,726 --> 00:10:34,891 [cabinet squeaks] 263 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,231 - Ahh! [ominous tone] 264 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,366 Ah, fuck! 265 00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:39,897 Fuck! - What? 266 00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:42,570 - It's the Woman in the Hat! 267 00:10:42,606 --> 00:10:43,900 - What are you talking about? 268 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,067 - The Woman in the Hat! 269 00:10:45,136 --> 00:10:47,602 She's in the fucking bathroom! 270 00:10:50,076 --> 00:10:51,878 - We've double checked everything, sir. 271 00:10:51,913 --> 00:10:53,548 All the exterior doors are locked. 272 00:10:53,584 --> 00:10:55,385 No windows have been breached. 273 00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:56,817 - And yet the president swears 274 00:10:56,919 --> 00:10:58,421 something was in the room with him. 275 00:10:58,457 --> 00:10:59,750 - Is he going to be all right? 276 00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,259 - Pretty shaken. 277 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,418 Pam Bondi is in there now 278 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,326 trying to calm him down and make him feel better. 279 00:11:04,428 --> 00:11:06,295 PAM BONDI: [screaming] 280 00:11:06,397 --> 00:11:08,230 DAN SCAVINO: Pam? 281 00:11:08,266 --> 00:11:09,561 Oh, my God! 282 00:11:09,597 --> 00:11:13,067 - [groaning] 283 00:11:17,409 --> 00:11:20,008 - Stan, what are we doing? 284 00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:22,445 - What do you mean, dude? We're trying to change things. 285 00:11:22,513 --> 00:11:24,573 - By selling cryptocurrency? 286 00:11:24,608 --> 00:11:26,509 - What's wrong with trying to make a little money 287 00:11:26,611 --> 00:11:28,916 while also pointing out the things wrong with our town? 288 00:11:28,952 --> 00:11:30,112 - [muffled] Yeah, what's wrong with that? 289 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,348 - I have to do something, Kyle. 290 00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,448 I'm nine years old and I live in a retirement home. 291 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,926 - And you really think crypto is your way out? 292 00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:38,258 Do you even know anything about how that stuff works? 293 00:11:38,293 --> 00:11:40,991 - Well, actually, we have a really strong crypto advisor-- 294 00:11:41,093 --> 00:11:43,495 your cousin on the east coast. 295 00:11:43,598 --> 00:11:45,268 - My cousin? 296 00:11:45,303 --> 00:11:47,299 - I'm back! 297 00:11:47,335 --> 00:11:48,997 All right, looks like we've got a lot of movement 298 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,373 on your coin, boys. 299 00:11:50,475 --> 00:11:51,799 The presale really popped. 300 00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:54,103 We cleared 100 grand in volume before liquidity even locked. 301 00:11:54,139 --> 00:11:55,844 The token's really got traction. 302 00:11:55,947 --> 00:11:58,046 - And we don't ever have to pay anything, right? 303 00:11:58,148 --> 00:12:00,483 - Nope, you never pay anything. You guys created the coin, 304 00:12:00,552 --> 00:12:01,647 so all you do is profit from it. 305 00:12:01,716 --> 00:12:03,187 - See? I told you. 306 00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:04,446 - [muffled speech] 307 00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:05,887 - Now we just need to keep creating hype 308 00:12:05,989 --> 00:12:07,649 around the South Park Sucks Now digital coin, 309 00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:09,855 so we need to come up with things to give people FOMO 310 00:12:09,957 --> 00:12:11,826 and make them ape even harder. 311 00:12:11,894 --> 00:12:13,825 - You guys, this isn't about a coin. 312 00:12:13,893 --> 00:12:15,563 It's about a movement. 313 00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:16,829 - Oh, that's really good. 314 00:12:16,898 --> 00:12:18,165 - Yeah, yeah, that's perfect. 315 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,901 "This isn't about a coin. It's about a movement." 316 00:12:20,003 --> 00:12:22,169 Yeah, that's some savvy Jew Jitsu right there. 317 00:12:22,237 --> 00:12:23,472 - So what kind of time frame are we looking at 318 00:12:23,507 --> 00:12:24,507 to get our money? 319 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:25,875 I need it as fast as possible. 320 00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:27,673 - Well, I think we're looking at a classic rug pull 321 00:12:27,742 --> 00:12:28,844 in just a few days. 322 00:12:28,912 --> 00:12:30,343 Once we pump the coin high as it'll go, 323 00:12:30,379 --> 00:12:32,375 then I can register for an MSB with the federal government. 324 00:12:32,477 --> 00:12:34,748 - The federal government? That sounds hard. 325 00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:36,349 - Oh, no, it's gonna be easy. 326 00:12:36,418 --> 00:12:38,516 The crypto corruption at the White House is off the chain. 327 00:12:38,551 --> 00:12:40,357 We're gonna screw a lot of people out of their money, boys. 328 00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:42,189 It's gonna be fantastic. 329 00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:46,559 [thunder booming] 330 00:12:46,661 --> 00:12:48,866 [heavy knocking] 331 00:12:51,369 --> 00:12:53,664 [thunder booms] 332 00:12:53,699 --> 00:12:55,903 - Yes? 333 00:12:56,005 --> 00:12:58,873 - Uh, yes, we're paranormal investigators. 334 00:12:58,942 --> 00:13:00,510 We've been asked to come and investigate 335 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:03,610 the mysterious Woman in the Hat. 336 00:13:03,712 --> 00:13:07,212 - I am Stephen Miller, 337 00:13:07,281 --> 00:13:09,715 Senior Advisor to the President for Immigration 338 00:13:09,784 --> 00:13:11,419 and Domestic Policy. 339 00:13:11,521 --> 00:13:13,915 [thunder booms] 340 00:13:14,018 --> 00:13:15,224 Won't you... 341 00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:17,928 come in? 342 00:13:22,298 --> 00:13:24,430 PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR HUSBAND: Oh, my God, it's incredible. 343 00:13:24,532 --> 00:13:28,097 Subject is showing some kind of viscous residue on her nose. 344 00:13:28,199 --> 00:13:30,235 - Well, what the fuck is it? 345 00:13:30,304 --> 00:13:32,739 - Sometimes there's a physical manifestation 346 00:13:32,774 --> 00:13:34,207 of spiritual energy-- 347 00:13:34,243 --> 00:13:37,145 a bridge between the spiritual world and ours. 348 00:13:37,247 --> 00:13:41,449 In this case, it appears to be some kind of rectoplasm. 349 00:13:41,551 --> 00:13:43,046 - Rectoplasm? 350 00:13:43,081 --> 00:13:44,651 - What is it made of? 351 00:13:44,753 --> 00:13:46,088 - It's unbelievable! 352 00:13:46,124 --> 00:13:49,622 The rectoplasm seems to be 54% Filet-O-Fish sandwich! 353 00:13:49,724 --> 00:13:50,926 - Oh, my God! 354 00:13:50,962 --> 00:13:52,990 I ate a Filet-O-Fish sandwich last night! 355 00:13:53,092 --> 00:13:54,892 - Jesus! - And it's also... 356 00:13:54,927 --> 00:13:57,432 28% Taco Bell. 357 00:13:57,501 --> 00:13:58,832 - Oh, my God! 358 00:13:58,934 --> 00:14:00,899 I ate Taco Bell this morning! 359 00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:02,231 - What does it mean? 360 00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:06,234 - And it's 14% its own cum. 361 00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:09,276 - Oh, my God! I ate-- 362 00:14:11,010 --> 00:14:13,516 [chuckling awkwardly] 363 00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:16,446 Hey! Pam! Deal with them! 364 00:14:16,515 --> 00:14:21,123 ANNOUNCER: This is a Fox News Super Alert! 365 00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:23,926 - Two paranormal investigators were indicted today 366 00:14:23,961 --> 00:14:26,789 on federal charges of falsifying data. 367 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,830 The president said that the bad people manipulated readings 368 00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:32,299 and reports to make fake news. 369 00:14:32,335 --> 00:14:35,630 The charges were filed by Attorney General Pam Bondi, 370 00:14:35,699 --> 00:14:38,302 who said that "the President is a great man, 371 00:14:38,371 --> 00:14:40,673 even if he does eat his own semen." 372 00:14:40,775 --> 00:14:42,044 In other news, 373 00:14:42,146 --> 00:14:44,846 many people are saying that South Park sucks now. 374 00:14:44,948 --> 00:14:46,709 The small mountain town in Colorado 375 00:14:46,811 --> 00:14:49,817 has been a hotbed of political activity in recent weeks, 376 00:14:49,853 --> 00:14:51,654 and three local Gen Alpha boys 377 00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:54,189 are vowing to put a stop to it. 378 00:14:54,988 --> 00:14:56,656 - OK, we're mooning. 379 00:14:56,725 --> 00:14:58,155 We're mooning... 380 00:14:58,191 --> 00:14:59,524 All right, that's gotta be it. 381 00:14:59,626 --> 00:15:01,663 OK, we're done mooning. I think we're ready to dump. 382 00:15:01,698 --> 00:15:02,698 [train horn blares] 383 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:03,832 COUSIN KYLE: OK, sounds good. 384 00:15:03,901 --> 00:15:06,002 I'm on the Acela train right now. 385 00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:08,870 I should be in DC by 6:30 to meet with Don Jr. 386 00:15:08,972 --> 00:15:10,071 Once I get White House approval, 387 00:15:10,173 --> 00:15:11,641 we should be able to do the rug pull. 388 00:15:11,676 --> 00:15:14,739 - I'm out, dude. - Kyle? 389 00:15:14,842 --> 00:15:16,574 Kyle, wait! 390 00:15:17,715 --> 00:15:19,015 Dude, you can't quit now. 391 00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,414 Do you know how much money we're about to make? 392 00:15:20,516 --> 00:15:23,182 - I thought you were sick of the way South Park was going, Stan. 393 00:15:23,218 --> 00:15:25,081 - I am! - So then why are you trying 394 00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:26,351 to engineer a rug pull 395 00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:27,923 in conjunction with the federal government? 396 00:15:28,025 --> 00:15:30,561 - Bro, it's the world we live in, OK? 397 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,990 I mean, at least we're being men 398 00:15:32,025 --> 00:15:33,357 and taking some control. 399 00:15:33,426 --> 00:15:35,327 Look at Kenny, he--he's doing stuff now! 400 00:15:35,362 --> 00:15:36,694 - [muffled] Yeah, dude, I'm doing stuff! 401 00:15:36,763 --> 00:15:39,601 - I know it sucks to be living in an old folks home, Stan, 402 00:15:39,703 --> 00:15:40,705 but you can't fix things 403 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,501 if you're only thinking about yourself. 404 00:15:50,713 --> 00:15:53,611 [thunder booming] 405 00:15:57,687 --> 00:15:59,958 [heavy knocking] 406 00:16:03,726 --> 00:16:04,920 [thunder booms] 407 00:16:05,022 --> 00:16:07,593 - Yes? 408 00:16:07,695 --> 00:16:10,695 - Uh, yes, I'm with the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency. 409 00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:12,568 We're trying to fuck a bunch of people out of their money. 410 00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:14,067 Is Don Jr. around? 411 00:16:14,136 --> 00:16:17,637 - Ah, yes, he's been expecting you. 412 00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:19,637 Do come in. 413 00:16:21,073 --> 00:16:24,444 [door squeaks] 414 00:16:25,742 --> 00:16:28,049 - Oh, Jesus, it's a little drafty in here. 415 00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:30,749 - You'll have to excuse the conditions. 416 00:16:30,784 --> 00:16:34,149 The master has taken down the East Wing and unleashed a wrath. 417 00:16:34,251 --> 00:16:35,922 [eerie moaning] 418 00:16:35,991 --> 00:16:38,958 [unintelligible groaning] 419 00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,623 - Oh, Jesus! It's a mummy! 420 00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:43,832 - No, no, that's just the head of the FCC. 421 00:16:43,934 --> 00:16:46,095 He's lost his freedom of speech. 422 00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,804 - [mumbles] 423 00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:52,938 - Come. Don Jr. is... this way. 424 00:16:52,973 --> 00:16:55,940 [thunder booms] 425 00:16:56,009 --> 00:16:58,180 [eerie music] 426 00:16:58,282 --> 00:17:00,346 - Thanks so much for taking my meeting, Don Jr. 427 00:17:00,448 --> 00:17:02,283 We've got an incredible crypto opportunity here 428 00:17:02,318 --> 00:17:04,281 and we just need your help taking a big dump. 429 00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:05,683 - That sounds really great. 430 00:17:05,785 --> 00:17:08,686 There's nothing I like better than a big crypto dump. 431 00:17:08,788 --> 00:17:10,752 - So sorry I had to bug you this late in the evening, 432 00:17:10,787 --> 00:17:12,759 but time really is of the essence here. 433 00:17:12,795 --> 00:17:15,164 [door opens] 434 00:17:15,266 --> 00:17:18,127 - We need everyone to gather in the dining room. 435 00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:19,702 Immediately. 436 00:17:19,804 --> 00:17:22,365 - In the dining room? Why? 437 00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:24,942 - We are going to have a séance. 438 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:28,811 It's time to confront the spirit here. 439 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,844 - The--the spirit? What spirit? 440 00:17:31,946 --> 00:17:35,053 [line ringing] 441 00:17:35,983 --> 00:17:38,153 - [muffled speech] 442 00:17:38,188 --> 00:17:39,381 - Yeah, I can see the price is going down. 443 00:17:39,483 --> 00:17:40,890 What the hell is he doing? 444 00:17:40,992 --> 00:17:42,188 - [muffled] He's not answering? 445 00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:43,189 COUSIN KYLE: Hello, you've reached 446 00:17:43,291 --> 00:17:44,524 Pump and Dump Crypto Advisors. 447 00:17:44,626 --> 00:17:46,456 Let us know how we can help you fuck people over. 448 00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:48,666 Just leave a message. [beep] 449 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,025 - Dude, what is going on? 450 00:17:50,127 --> 00:17:52,829 Our token's value totally peaked and it's starting to go down. 451 00:17:52,898 --> 00:17:54,396 Whatever approval you have to get at the White House, 452 00:17:54,498 --> 00:17:55,967 we need it now! [beep] 453 00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:57,002 God damn it! 454 00:17:57,038 --> 00:17:59,141 - [muffled speech] 455 00:17:59,176 --> 00:18:02,237 - I don't know, Kenny, OK? Shut up already! 456 00:18:02,339 --> 00:18:05,206 [eerie music] 457 00:18:05,308 --> 00:18:07,148 ♪ ♪ 458 00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:09,185 - Oh, Jesus, this is a little creepy. 459 00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:11,848 Are we having dinner? I'm allergic to dairy. 460 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,985 - Everyone, please put your hands on the table. 461 00:18:15,021 --> 00:18:18,853 ♪ ♪ 462 00:18:18,888 --> 00:18:23,098 I am speaking to the entity in this house. 463 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,760 - Is this a good time to talk turkey? 464 00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:27,263 I just need to go over some quick business. 465 00:18:27,365 --> 00:18:30,037 - We know you are sad. 466 00:18:30,072 --> 00:18:32,539 We know you are...lonely. 467 00:18:32,607 --> 00:18:36,908 But we must ask you to leave our president alone. 468 00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:39,543 ♪ ♪ 469 00:18:39,579 --> 00:18:42,282 - Oh, my God, this is really scary. 470 00:18:42,384 --> 00:18:44,716 PAM BONDI: The President is a great man, 471 00:18:44,784 --> 00:18:48,558 and he does not deserve to be tormented like this. 472 00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:50,186 - Pam! Pam! 473 00:18:50,221 --> 00:18:52,221 - Oh! Oh. 474 00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:54,456 Restless spirit, 475 00:18:54,558 --> 00:18:57,700 we only wish to communicate! 476 00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:00,202 [thunder booming] 477 00:19:00,237 --> 00:19:02,605 - Holy shit! She's right fucking there! 478 00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:03,971 - What is that? 479 00:19:04,073 --> 00:19:07,874 - [moaning] Deception! 480 00:19:07,909 --> 00:19:10,541 Deception! 481 00:19:10,576 --> 00:19:12,807 - Boss, maybe we should stop this. 482 00:19:12,909 --> 00:19:15,079 - No! I wanna hear what it has to say. 483 00:19:15,115 --> 00:19:17,080 - [moaning] 484 00:19:17,116 --> 00:19:19,485 Epstein! 485 00:19:19,587 --> 00:19:21,216 - Uh, no, no. You're right. Let's stop this. 486 00:19:21,251 --> 00:19:22,922 - You! 487 00:19:22,991 --> 00:19:25,562 [eerie music] 488 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,794 - What? You? 489 00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:27,794 What did he do? 490 00:19:27,896 --> 00:19:30,426 - He lies! 491 00:19:30,494 --> 00:19:32,767 - Oh, you fucking bitch! 492 00:19:32,836 --> 00:19:35,133 - Corruption! 493 00:19:35,235 --> 00:19:36,601 - She's not possessed! 494 00:19:36,669 --> 00:19:39,774 Pam Bondi's trying to get my fucking job! 495 00:19:39,843 --> 00:19:41,810 [thunder booms] 496 00:19:41,912 --> 00:19:43,238 - Oh, I can't do this! 497 00:19:43,273 --> 00:19:44,339 - Lies! 498 00:19:44,441 --> 00:19:46,278 - [muttering] 499 00:19:46,313 --> 00:19:47,847 - I gotta get out of here! 500 00:19:47,949 --> 00:19:49,116 ♪ ♪ 501 00:19:49,184 --> 00:19:50,783 [face screaming] - Oh, God! 502 00:19:50,852 --> 00:19:52,621 Oh! 503 00:19:52,657 --> 00:19:53,449 ♪ ♪ 504 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:56,456 OK! OK! It's all true! 505 00:19:56,524 --> 00:19:59,020 We've been dealing in deception and lies! 506 00:19:59,122 --> 00:20:01,696 We've all been getting filthy rich off of crypto! 507 00:20:01,798 --> 00:20:02,591 Oh, Jesus. 508 00:20:02,627 --> 00:20:04,530 We've lied and we've cheated. 509 00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:06,298 Crypto's just a giant money laundering scheme 510 00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:07,299 for the rich to get richer. 511 00:20:07,368 --> 00:20:09,100 Please don't haunt us anymore! 512 00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:10,301 We're sorry. 513 00:20:10,336 --> 00:20:13,307 We're all very sorry! 514 00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:16,712 ANNOUNCER: This is a Fox News! 515 00:20:16,814 --> 00:20:19,515 Agh! America! 516 00:20:19,617 --> 00:20:22,812 - A massive crypto fraud has been exposed at the White House, 517 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,454 and the perpetrator has been indicted. 518 00:20:25,489 --> 00:20:27,982 A ghostly wrath that was unleashed in the East Wing 519 00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:30,823 exposed the traitor at a séance last night. 520 00:20:30,892 --> 00:20:34,827 The traitor is now behind bars and serving 10 years for fraud. 521 00:20:34,862 --> 00:20:38,531 Charges, of course, were once again filed by Pam Bondi, 522 00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:41,833 who said, "We will continue to indict anyone 523 00:20:41,868 --> 00:20:45,302 who says bad stuff about our amazing president." 524 00:20:45,337 --> 00:20:49,137 [gentle music] 525 00:20:49,173 --> 00:20:51,845 STAN: I'm sorry, Kyle. I should have listened to you. 526 00:20:51,914 --> 00:20:54,381 ♪ ♪ 527 00:20:54,483 --> 00:20:56,986 I guess there just no really going back 528 00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,989 to the way things used to be. 529 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,519 - Things will get back, Stan. 530 00:21:01,588 --> 00:21:02,685 I know it's hard to see right now, 531 00:21:02,754 --> 00:21:05,692 but things will go back to normal. 532 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,193 And in the meantime, we just have to make the most 533 00:21:08,228 --> 00:21:09,859 of where we are. 534 00:21:09,928 --> 00:21:14,030 ["If I Didn't Care" by The Ink Spots] 535 00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:17,035 - All right, seniors, just move with the rhythm now. 536 00:21:17,071 --> 00:21:18,369 ♪ ♪ 537 00:21:18,438 --> 00:21:21,605 - ♪ If I didn't care ♪ 538 00:21:21,707 --> 00:21:24,376 NURSE: Good! Good, seniors. Nice! 539 00:21:24,445 --> 00:21:29,116 - ♪ More than words can say ♪ 540 00:21:29,218 --> 00:21:34,254 ♪ If I didn't care ♪ 541 00:21:34,356 --> 00:21:39,525 ♪ Would I feel this way? ♪ 542 00:21:39,561 --> 00:21:45,868 ♪ If this isn't love, then why ♪ 543 00:21:45,903 --> 00:21:48,803 [theme music] 544 00:21:48,905 --> 00:21:55,808 ♪ ♪ 36798

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