Original subtitles

How would you pronounce this patient's name?

Um... Vin... Vin... Vin... Vin... Vinibon... Vinboni... Vin...

Vin... Vinibonikennel, which... Wow, that just keeps going, doesn't it? Well,

I'll just call him Big V. He'll love that. Wait a minute. Hold on. He's

unconscious.

That's nice.

Guys?

Guys, I might need a little help here. God, Bruce.

What happened?

I don't know.

I think it was attacked.

Someone just came up from behind me and he hit me in the back of the head and

knocked me down. Well, his head wound seems superficial.

Let's check him for a concussion just in case. I just don't understand how this

could have happened.

It's all right, Bruce. You're not the only one. This has been happening more

more often. Yeah, but my reflexes are way above average.

Definitely above everyone here.

Okay, he seems fine.

Unfortunately, there have been a lot of attacks lately.

Patients who are unhappy with their results, upset family members, or people

just want to yell that day.

Fun fact, health care workers are five times more likely to face violence in

workplace. And there was a state bill to address this, but it failed. On the

bright side, they did pass a bill to rename a bridge after Jeff Bridges.

So that's cute.

Years of Aikido training. Years.

It's okay.

No, it's not okay, Matt.

I wish he'd just finished the job and killed me. Bruce, don't say that.

And you, Matt. Yeah.

I wish he'd killed us both.

I wasn't even there.

Hey, Joyce, do you have a minute? Sure, why not? I've only been on hold for 20

minutes. I'm trying to get Sanderson into this zoo day camp, and it's just

impossible.

Isn't he like 50?

Well, the website says eight and up. He insists there's no age limit, so...

Okay. Well, I don't know if you heard this, but Bruce was attacked in the

parking lot.

What? Is he okay? He's okay, yeah. He's just a little shaken up.

Little safari day camp.

There's been an attack!

Jesus. Do we know who did this?

That's the thing. So I asked Leslie if he could check the security footage, and

he said that half those cameras don't even work.

This is totally unacceptable.

I know. Listen, everyone is pretty freaked out, and I think they're

what can be done to prevent this from happening again.

Hey, I hear you, okay? And I am going to do everything in my power to make sure

that my employees are safe.

Okay. Thank you. Mama bear activated.

Yeah, I think just, you know, more cameras or... Mama Bear committed to

actionable change.

Yeah, thank you so much for taking this seriously. Mama Bear out of hibernation

and hungry for justice.

I gotta write this down.

This is good stuff.

We can't even walk across the parking lot without getting attacked?

So messed up. Honestly, this is why I'm glad I take powerful audiences.

What? I'm serious.

I have insane core strength.

Okay, so what? Oh, look, he's got a knife. Quick, plank.

I'm just saying I can defend myself.

Yeah, unless, you know, it's a man.

Okay, sexist much?

I'm not sexist. I'm just taking into account body mass.

And on average, men are larger than women.

Don't blame me. Blame evolution. I don't think I can kick every guy's ass.

But I could definitely take on someone who's kind of old, kind of slow.

Maybe whose body is mostly made of taquitos. You think you could take me?

Come on. I'm not even... That's cute.

That is cute.

Ron has no idea what I'm capable of. I'm strong, agile, got quick feet.

Oh, also, I bite.

Like, right away.

You know, Joyce said you could leave if you need to process the trauma. Oh, can

I go process in a safe space?

Yeah, I think that'd be the perfect kind of space.

I was mocking you, man.

Bruce Schweitz doesn't do trauma. I mean, I do trauma.

Like, job -wise.

I mean, in surgery, obviously.

Matt, come on.

Man, I wonder who it was.

Oh, maybe that boat accident guy. He seemed pretty mad when he left.

He did?

Why? I saved his leg. Yeah, but he was annoyed about the recovery time.

Yeah, but that's not my fault. Yeah, but sometimes patients get mad and they're

looking for someone to take it out on. And, you know, you're a pretty easy

target. Right.

A target.

Yeah. They can turn on us and just snap.

Oh man, is that a balloon?

Look at that. Someone must have just let it go.

It's just floating out there. Wow.

Congrats, Brad.

I wonder what Brad did.

Please let me know if Nurse Serena's hurting you. She's a bit of a wrecking

ball. Okay, what I said isn't that crazy.

I've treated abscesses larger than you. Not this one. This is a normal size. I'm

small, but I'm scrappy. Trust me, I could do some damage. You might get a

kick in with your Lululemon pants on, but I think it's obvious who has the

advantage in this fight, okay? So, if I were just... Shut up!

Did you just throw out your back?

No.

Are you sure?

I feel like I heard a pop.

I heard it.

There was a pop. No, there was no pop. That was my shoes.

Can you finish up here, please?

No, I did not throw out my back.

I thought it was inappropriate when I pretended to attack Serena, so I stopped

abruptly.

Because I'm a feminist.

So apparently we only have five outside cameras.

Two of them are broken, and one of them is pointing down at the ground because a

bird sat on it. I sure wish someone would have brought that to my attention.

I did.

Well, not just verbally, but also via email.

I did. Regardless.

Time to get serious.

So Leslie is pricing out some security upgrades for us. We're talking fencing,

extra guards, floodlights, you name it. We cannot put a price on the safety of

our people.

Well, give or take, it's going to be about $200 ,000.

You. I'm sorry, not you. I just mean like the economy, like, oh, F you, price

goods. We can't do that.

Now I'm going to say something very controversial.

I hate violence.

I hate it. But do you know what I hate even more? Racism. No.

I mean, obviously, yes, but no.

Taking the easy way out. Now here I was, about to throw money at a problem

without truly fixing it. Security cameras can fail. Lights can go out.

Guards can be bribed to join the bad guys.

Heck, that's not true.

So you're saying if an attacker gave you a billion dollars to hurt me, you

wouldn't do it? I'd attack you for a billion dollars. Thank you, Serena. I'll

it for a million.

Okay, it's not an auction, Brandon. Point is, I'm going to teach you all how

defend yourselves so that you're not only safe at work, but everywhere.

Okay, but you are getting those extra security measures in addition to this,

right? That is a great question.

And I have time for one more.

Anyone? There is no money in the budget to update our security right now, but I

am not going to let that stop me from helping my people today.

I bought a self -defense book, and I'm going to pass on a few tips.

It's not going to be here until Friday, but I was able to preview the first

three pages and learn a few things, such as this book is dedicated to Cheryl. To

Cheryl. Rest in peace, my sweet angel. Okay, so hopefully these tips...

Are going to be better than the one Cheryl used.

When you're walking to your cars, put your keys in between your knuckles.

Boom. Homemade weapon.

All right? Someone attacks you, keys to the eyes, keys to the groin. If your

attacker's a female, keys to the cooch will really do some damage.

I just have a key fob. Well, a fob to the cooch is no vacation either. All

right? Oh, another thing. This is something my mother taught me, and I've

it hundreds of times.

If you think you're being followed.

Pick your nose and eat it. Yeah, I know. But no one will attack you if they

think you are a disgusting self -snacker.

Okay. Did you say you've done that hundreds of times? That is horrifying.

Come on, Alex. Stop virtue signaling.

Jesus. Oh, here's a good one. Have a phone conversation like this. Oh, hello,

Jerry.

Yes, I have the guns with me. Oh, and I've just tested positive for the latest

strain of COVID -19.

They'll think you're the dangerous one.

I've been mugged nine times, so hopefully this stuff will help.

The police say it's a record.

I heard that if you're being attacked, you should yell fire instead of help

because people are way more likely to run towards a fire.

Why would you run towards a fire?

Because firemen are hot.

What if your attacker is a fireman?

Okay. It feels like we're losing the thread here. Firemen, America's heroes.

don't think so. No way.

Actually, Ron was showing me a pretty impressive move this morning.

Did you want to show everyone?

No, I'm good. Oh, Ron, get up here.

I don't know. No, come on. This is about safety.

It's about saving lives. Come on. Don't be shy. It's private.

Sorry, Joyce, is your whole plan just to tell us how to gross out attackers?

No.

I'm going to show you, okay, with some role play.

So I'm going to need a volunteer.

Keith, you look like a creeper. Get up here.

Tear up for our volunteer.

Mr. Feldman came in with abdominal pain, and we gave him an ultrasound.

Looks like kidney stone's trapped in the ureter. Yeah, he's definitely going to

need surgery.

He's not going to like that.

No, he will not.

Oh, wow. Big boy.

What? No, just good for you. I think it's great. Muscle man.

So, Mr. Feldman, yeah, your results are back. And mostly everything looks

normal. But, yeah, we are going to have to, you know.

Why would I know? You're the doctor.

Well, you're just going to have to.

Matt, why don't you take it from here? Sure.

So, unfortunately, we will have to perform surgery to remove your kidney

I'm going to have surgery for this? Yeah, man. What?

Come on.

It's just a kidney stone. Why can't you give him a pill or something?

I don't think so, but I'm not sure.

Well, you know, what does it say on your chart?

At the bottom, right corner, under my signature. Just read it. Oh, yeah.

Surgery required to remove solid mass.

Come on. Are you kidding? I don't have time for surgery.

Damn it, Matt. What are you doing to this man?

Matt Pearson.

Well, if you have any other questions or concerns, Matt Pearson here will take

care of them.

Matt Pearson.

Nice. You know, a lot of people suffer from PTSD after a violent attack, but

Bruce. He's actually mentoring me, getting my name out there.

Matt Pearson.

So, you're tied up in the back of Keith's van, right? And he's about to do

something really sick and twisted.

Sorry, guys.

I don't know why I would do this. Okay, Joyce, you remember how I told you to

ask him for Mentos and a Coke in the beginning? Well, now's the time you put

them together, okay? You start foaming at the mouth.

Keith comes by to check on you. He doesn't want you dead, not yet. And you

and bite his ear off. Ew, I don't want to eat Keith's ear.

Well, it's either that or you become his next skin suit.

Boyd, yeah, you better eat my ear. This is ridiculous.

I'm sorry, but I don't think eating Keith's ear or picking our noses is

solve a national crisis. We should be organizing and writing our congressmen.

And who's our congressman? You know I don't know that. And it's beside the

point. I think Alex is right. We need to get our stories out there. Exactly. Get

the public's attention so real change can happen. That'd be much better than

these silly tips.

Oh, well, I'm sorry if you think my tips are silly, but we'll see what happens

when a psych patient tries to French kiss you in the middle of the night.

going to be picking those boogies and eating them until the cows come home.

not going to be eating my boogers, Joyce.

Eat it.

Eat it. Brandon, grow up. Eat it.

Eat it.

Eat it.

Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. I was wrong. This is all extremely helpful.

Bruce, you doing okay?

Not scared.

Why? Because of what happened earlier. No, not scared at all. Don't even know

why you'd ask that. Hey, Bruce.

Oh, man.

Okay, madam, we're going to take a quick trip to Zone A.

But I'm waiting for my son.

Well, he's a good boy. He'll find you.

Tell the reporter that it's causing way more pressure and anxiety for us. Oh,

and tell them about the time Dakota got pushed. It was funny, but not okay.

Yeah, what's happening? Who's telling what?

Channel 3. I reached out to their investigative team.

Excuse me?

Yeah. I told them what happened to Bruce, and they're coming to do a story

attacks on health care workers.

Carl Justice is coming here? Carl on the case?

He's going to make this place look terrible. Every business he reports on

down. He even closed down that all -night massage parlor in Sanderson. Love

place. I cannot believe that you're thinking about bad publicity and not

best for the staff right now. No, I just mean... He doesn't have context or

limitations.

He's going to make it seem like this is a place where bad things happen.

A bad thing did happen, Joyce.

I'm trying to make sure it doesn't happen again.

If you won't be the mama bear, I will.

Mama bears. I'm not going to do the voice.

What can I do? We don't have the money. I wish we did.

I'd buy new floodlights, new security cameras. I'd buy every nurse a gun. That

is my dream for the future.

Of course I want to keep my people safe. That's the most important thing.

Firstly, no broken ribs, so all good.

Second thing, don't sneak up on people, you nut.

Gotcha. Sorry.

Are you sure this doesn't have anything to do with the attack?

Like, maybe it's affecting you more than you think? Oh, yeah. You got me, Matt.

All day long, I've just been churning about what's happened to me.

Everyone's a threat. What?

Is that what you think?

Uh, I don't know.

I don't think I can do this anymore, all right? And my self -worth is in this

job, so if I don't have this, I don't have...

Anything. I'm scared, Matt. Help me. Wow.

I'm kidding.

That's what you're saying.

That's literally what you just said.

I guess I was wrong.

Classic Matt.

Overthinking things.

There's a part of me that's like, he's in denial.

But that's just something I need to work on.

Okay, now press seven.

Seven, Libby. Seven.

Press six.

Third time is a charm.

Yo, yo, Alex.

I went across the street to the 7 -Eleven to see if their cameras caught

the attack, and they did. That's great.

We can use that. Maybe we'll actually catch the guy.

You might want to check it out first.

Okay, there's Bruce.

It's a goose.

He got hit by a freaking goose.

I know, right?

Hey, check it out. It's funny if you play it backwards, too.

No need to be nervous. Just answer my questions honestly.

It's easy.

Yep. I will answer honestly and that will be easy.

Okay.

Three, two... One.

Harer at St. Dennis.

I'm here with Alex Mazurkian, a nurse who called to tell us about a vicious

attack on a surgeon here. Alex, what happened?

Yes, one of our doctors was attacked.

Yes, yeah, that's the word I would use.

Attacked. By a former patient.

Oh, well, you know, that's not for me to say. So, you know, I better not say.

But that is what you said when you called in.

I did. That was a phone call. And I think we all know, you know, how the

telephone works, where you start out and you're like, pizza is good. And then by

the end, it's like, you know, Jenny hooked up with Robert in the bathroom

lives are ruined.

I'm sorry, what are we talking about? That's a good question. I think what we

should be talking about is this violence.

against health care workers is on the rise nationwide. In fact, at this

just this year. Yeah, that's great, but that's terrible, definitely. But just to

clarify, you did say you believe that this attacker was a former patient? What

believe is that this attack happened in the parking lot of our

hospital. So, you know, you do the math.

I'm sorry, I feel like you're...

Like you're dodging our questions.

I'm just, I don't want to speculate.

You know, I feel like... Oh, I'll speculate.

Oh, God. Let me give it to you straight, Carl.

A crazed patient attacked one of our star surgeons in the parking lot. We

to find this man and lock him up. It's okay. You really don't need to do that.

No, I do need, Alex.

I do need. Do you work at the hospital? Dr. Joyce Henderson, executive director,

truth teller, protector.

And I would just like to tell the world that a coward clocked Dr.

Schweitz in the back of the head just because he works in the medical

profession. Would I call it a hate crime?

100%.

Ron, come on, let me get that. I am fine.

I am a grown man.

You gotta give it to Ron.

His body might be weak, but his ego is strong.

Never heard a grown man make that sound before.

It was haunting.

No, he fled the scene and he's just out there right now, probably sitting in his

easy chair, watching this and laughing or touching himself. Who knows with

weirdos? Again, we're not live. I think we should focus on the broader issue

because this one random incident is not the point. No, it is the point, Alex. I

believe that this random attack from a perverted former patient is a clear

example of the violence that health care workers face on a daily basis. Now, I

would like to address the assailant personally.

dare you it was a goose yeah i wasn't a patient he wasn't even a human being no

it was a goose Sorry, what was a goose? I was sucker punched by some dumb bird.

Yeah, no one's out to get me.

So you were not attacked because you're a doctor?

I mean, that's a question for the goose, Carl.

I'm sorry, I'm just trying to play catch up here. Are you saying the goose was

working with the pervert? No, no, no. Here's your story, Carl Justice.

A pack of lawless geese terrorizes Merrick. Can we band together? Okay, I

like we got what we need. No, sorry, can I just, um, real quick.

I understand that in this particular instance, Bruce was attacked by a goose.

However, across the nation, health care workers are being threatened and

assaulted even. But despite the risks, they still show up every single day.

Yeah, they're not going to run the story.

Also, I'm not allowed to call the justice hotline anymore.

Pretty long walk to the car.

You want any help?

No.

But if you want, I'll walk you to your car, you know, for safety.

Okay, sure.

You know what might make even more sense?

Is if we walk to my car, and then I give you a ride to your car.

Yeah, that makes sense.

But when we get to my car, you may have to swing my legs. I'm not doing that.

Fair enough.

Must be relief.

Oh, yeah. Just a random flyby from a bird that could come from any direction

any time. Yeah. Completely unprovoked.

Run!

No. How's that? Still two degrees to the left.

Two degrees?

Left. Left, Leslie. Make an L with your hand.

Wildlife attacks against my employees are unacceptable.

I have always believed that. And Mama Bear will do anything to protect her

people.

I don't know.

Oh, they like it.

They're coming back.