Original subtitles

It was lit. Is that the word those young people use?

With assets like this, why do I have to work, baby?

Really? Really?

Really?

I'm fired!

Who wants to grow up? I don't. You know, like, shut up.

I'm not the kind of girl that's wham, bam, thank you, Luann. You know what I

mean?

My rookie season is over, and it was a rollercoaster ride of emotion.

How much I respect you. I know. I know. I know. I'm just making sure.

Fear for faith.

I want a man to hold me, to love me, to want me. This was not the story I wrote.

Fun pad.

Now, this is the kind of fun I want to see at Blue Stone Manor. Oh, yeah. Let's

have a party. I'll do my own party.

Fight poppin'. Go to your room. I am your phone. Go to your room. You're

women. You're so angry.

Let me.

said was I would never judge you in your relationship.

Do you don't want to talk about it at all?

I spoke to you.

Is she speaking to her microphone in her hand?

I mean, come on guys.

At the end of the day, there was one thing that we could always

rely on to make us feel good.

Food.

This looks so good. Oh, that looks delicious, Lovata.

But look at this, you guys.

Wait, I'm sorry for growling.

Can I have a piece of chocolate from the little M &M?

I'm starving. You just f***ed that cake up. Yeah.

This is my love life right now. There are three things I want to do, and that

eat, sleep.

I will eat this whole thing and say I don't need an orgasm. Do I?

Doña Rita. Guess what we're having for lunch?

Oh, my God. What's the first thing you do when you catch a fish?

Buy it in a restaurant.

Would anybody like a shrimp? I'm not going to step through another argument

an empty stomach.

I would.

Are you

whispering that your eggs are better than mine? One hundred percent.

Well, I dare you, Missy.

Oh, now you've got the competitive spirit coming out of you. This is a

-off. Whatever you want. It doesn't matter. I'll still win.

We all love food.

Food is nutritious. It can be comforting.

And it can even give Luann and Dorinda another thing to spar over.

Ready? Okay, here we go. Here's the egg cook -off. It's happening.

So how much of these eggs do you need, Dorinda? Half.

She's already trying. I can see her. All right. Salt and pepper.

Right here.

This is the secret touch.

Don't look, Luann. I don't want you cheating.

Don't want you cheating, Luann.

I've been waiting to do the egg off for a very long time. And watch out, eggs a

la france, because poach scrambles in town.

You see how they get little bubbles? That's what you want.

Please do not get involved in my process. I'm not getting involved in

process. The intensity level is just, a river is running through it. The

intensity level of Dorinda just continues to run through this river.

I'm starting the process. You can put the eggs in the center.

And what do you call these eggs?

Poached scrambled eggs.

Poached scrambled eggs. I've never seen that either. One of Hannah's favorite

things. My method is you actually scramble the eggs and then poached the

scrambled eggs.

You hug the sides, creating a tornado.

It's all about the technique and the risk.

Creating a tornado -like environment to form an air -filled, fluffy thing of

fantastic scrambled eggs.

Girls, do you all like truffle oil? Are you all good with truffle oil?

Oh, my God.

She's trying to pat it out.

This is definitely making me rethink, like, where I'm at in my life. I don't

even know how to make a hard -boiled egg.

Oh, wow, that's so delicious. Oh, my God, so excellent.

Add a little butter and eat it. Oh, my God, are you killing them with butter?

Well, you're using truffle oil, so I got the game. I was going to go as a

purist, but if you're going to bring it on, let's bring it on. Bring it on,

baby. Ta -da!

Hey, hold on, I'm not ready. Taste everyone, please.

Ta -da!

Ta -da!

Half truffle, half salsa.

On an egg off, nobody loses because everybody gets egg.

I can't wait to try this. Okay. Well, listen, it's very basic. It's like a

poached egg.

All right, I'm going to try yours first, Dorinda. It's very good.

It's like a poached egg. It's very basic.

These are both really good. Very good.

Are they both good?

They're both good.

I actually think it's a tie. I agree. I like both equally.

Okay, so it's a tie.

It's a tie.

I mean, look, I'll give them a tie because I don't think anybody wanted it.

Both of them were pretty terrible.

I prefer my own.

Someone took my coffee and I just finally get to sit down and there's no

left. So do as you lose, babe.

You're going to make my vodka?

No. All right, fine.

Fine. What would you like?

I really couldn't roll my eyes further into the back of my head when Ramona

starts to describe her drink.

What can I get for you?

So I would love to have a vodka. Vodka. Vodka. One shot of vodka. Not two, not

three, Leah. I'm sorry. Only one.

Absolutely.

Oh. And the secret, another club soda on the side, no ice. So as you're drinking

it down, you add more club soda.

I think my straw's not working.

Don't tell me you have a straw. I brought my own straw. Bring your own.

So funny.

Is that another secret to staying young?

Where would Ramona be without the straw in her drink? It's her prop for getting

guys. Oh, my God. It matches your shirt.

I planned that. Oh, my God. You want to write it down.

It's a love potion. If I drink that, will I find love?

Coming up.

I'll yell out, happy birthday, Richard.

Happy birthday, Richard!

Yeah!

Where's Richard, by the way?

Welcome back.

How about we play a little game called What Happens Next?

Here's how it goes. We're going to show you never -seen -before footage, and

then you're going to guess what happens next.

Okay, so here we go. Round one.

In Newport, Leah and Sonia got into an argument about whether or not Leah could

afford a pricey vest.

Why you are a mean, mean person. Sarah, tell me something.

Control your sister.

Your youngest sister controlled the oldest sister. Yeah?

No? I'm going to say something.

If you think... You don't have to say anything. I'm going to say it to you.

If you think that I have... If you thought that I was having financial

And you're such a nice person, then why would you try to pressure me into buying

a $2 ,000 vest I'm not going to wear? Don't answer. Guess why. Because you're

nasty bitch, that's why. And that's all I have to say. Okay.

Unacceptable. And her sister's here. And her sister's here. Yeah, and my sister

is here, too, Ramona. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on.

What happens next?

A. Leah screams at her sister for not having her back.

B. Sonia and Ramona hide under the table.

C. I got a call from my dog.

Or D.

Luann starts singing.

Hey, hey, hey.

All right.

It's like disgusting.

I'm eating the wings.

Come on. No, it's nasty. I tried to force her to bite.

She's the one that started the whole thing.

What are they doing underneath the table?

They're having a powwow, I think.

That Sonya Martin is a nasty bitch. Did you hear she got arrested at 34th

Street? The cops had to slap her down. Why are you girls under the table?

Because I'm embarrassed by these behaviors. Come in. This is looking

It's looking ridiculous.

If she would say anything, she'd call me a liar.

It's ridiculous that they're hiding under the table. Come on. You know, you

are in your 50s and 60s. You won't be able to get back up.

You're looking stupid now. You're a grown -ass woman.

That guy wants me over there. Hi, how are you? Oh, hi. I like your sweater.

have gorgeous skin.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. And I love those pants.

Oh, yes!

Everyone likes my pants.

Because I fill them out. No, come on out.

It's a hiding place.

Okay, but you don't need a hiding place. We're grown -ass women.

Really? That's questionable.

Round two.

At the townhouse, Ramona and Sonia discuss Dorinda's anger and what they

to help her.

Before I go through everything with you, I want to talk to you about Dorinda

because I'm really concerned and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to

do. At this point when Ramona says she wants to talk about Dorinda, I'm

to wonder if she's really concerned about Dorinda or she just wants to hate

her, you know.

Singer has to stir the pot.

I'm just so concerned, and I don't know when we can talk to her about this. I

mean, I just don't know what to do for her. I mean, I love Dorinda. We all love

Dorinda. Right.

How can we get her to go to a therapist?

Well, she has this life coach, but it's not working, for goodness sakes. Look at

how she's acting.

What happens next?

A, Ramona says that Dorinda needs to go to Peru and do ayahuasca.

B, Sonia says that Dorinda needs to get laid.

C, the phone rings and it's Dorinda saying, I know you're talking about me

because she's a white witch.

Or D, they decide to enlist the help of Dr.

Phil.

How can we get her to go to a therapist?

Well, she has this life coach. Well, obviously it's not working for goodness

sakes. Look at how she's acting.

Well, she loves Dr. Phil, but I don't know if we can get on Dr. Phil.

Is he a psychiatrist?

He's a major psychologist.

Did he have a good dream about Dr. Phil, like she married him or something? Yes,

she has a love affair with him because she knows he could fix her. I had a sex

dream about Dr.

Phil last night.

I was watching it.

And you know what? In my sex dream, he actually was very frisky. I can't stop

thinking about him.

What's wrong with me? I don't know.

I think you need something.

You think we could get a three -for -one, by the way?

I don't know. I mean, we could always use some help.

Oh, God.

Round three.

On the van ride on the way to Weed Orchard, all of us girls try to give

to Tinsley on how to date.

I am good. I offered you a really great guy. You didn't even want to meet him.

Why?

Why? Why?

Because he's open to all offers.

I just didn't think he looked like my type.

You have to get out of your comfort zone.

Because the type of guy you're looking for is not great marriage material.

That's true. If you're going to keep going after the same kind of guy, You're

going to get the same kind of result, which is called insanity.

I may have ended up with people that didn't work out for me, but they were

totally different types of people. I know, but in the end, they weren't good

you.

Okay, so what happened next?

A. Ramona refers to Tinsley's ex, Bruce, as Brian.

B.

Elise says that Ramona got her husband's name wrong for more than a year.

C.

I said to Tinsley that men in Chicago defecate in front of their ladies.

Or D, all of the above.

I know, but in the end, they weren't good to you.

That's the point. You go after guys that are very selfish and self -absorbed and

have their own agenda, and you're just almost like an accessory. No, don't tell

me that. I didn't even know what you were saying.

You just said Brian was like that, and so is Scott.

Brian?

Who's Brian?

She's rude.

She called Kiki Kika. She called Brian called Hemrick for the first year.

Do you want to be with a guy that poops on the toilet in front of you?

Okay. No, I don't want to. Rico, no one's pooping in front of me, okay? I

even want a guy farting in front of me. I mean, seriously, no.

I think those Chicago guys, they eat steak and they poop in front of you. No,

they don't, first of all. They do eat steak.

But they never pooped in front of me.

I didn't Google it. I didn't read it in Esquire. But I'm guessing guys poop in

front of the women all the time, unless they're very sophisticated

Manhattanites.

But, Sonya, bowel movements are everything.

Round four.

At a family dinner, Leah and her mother disagree about whether or not Leah ever

wanted to get married.

Leah's always wanted to get married.

It's been a thing. I remember it. At 20s, in the 20s, you were trying to get

married? First of all, I was in a long -term relationship at age 20 with a 32

-year -old man. So, yes, I wanted to be a stay -at -home mom. That was my plan.

It didn't turn out that way. That's what I wanted. But your behavior wasn't

saying that at the time.

Well, I was 20 years old. What are you talking about? You were out here

partying. Yeah, I was 20 years old. It doesn't matter. There's a lot of women

who wanted to get married. There were things that I didn't. I was asking you

people. What am I supposed to do? Get down on one knee and say, Rob, will you?

No, I'm not doing that, Mom.

Like, during that time, neither of you were very willing to get married. I just

think it's kind of inappropriate.

Like, you should just have Leah's back on this. Yeah, you really should.

Thank you, Sarah. I would have loved to have seen these two get married.

But they didn't get married. But you can't say but.

Now dad's never going to walk me down the aisle.

What happens next?

A. Rob comes over and comforts Leah.

B. Sarah yells at her mother for making Leah cry.

C. Leah's entire family laughs at her.

Or D.

Leah throws a ravioli at her.

It's not funny, Sarah.

It's just my reaction.

It's not funny. Now he's sick and now I'm never going to get walked out an

aisle. Mom, it's not funny. Are you kidding me? It's not funny. Don't pee

pants.

Mom, you're really messed up.

Coming up.

Don't be nervous.

Okay, I'm going to start with you. Give me your power stance. All right, you're

going to feel it in the front, back, and glutes.

All right, so it's working, yes? Stop, stop, stop, stop!

Well, let's commit. Let's do it for a minimum of four weeks. Four weeks. Four

weeks. All right.

We're going to kick ass on this, all right? We're going to make this happen.

I think it's good that Dorinda is being proactive, and she's even bringing me

Jorge, this, like, acclaimed trainer, which, you know, I half -heartedly will

do. Are we ready? Should we do it? Come on, let's go. And let's everybody stop

for a moment. It's Richard's birthday today, so let's all yell out, Happy

birthday, Richard.

Happy birthday, Richard!

Yeah!

Where's Richard, by the way?

He's dead.

Oh, you're Richard. He's dead.

He would have been 68 today.

Richard.

Keeping in shape is super important.

You look great, Ramona.

Hold it, hold it.

I'm excited.

I'm excited.

Particularly, you know, being on the show and having to wear all these cute

clothes and putting yourself together. I have done a little boxing. I found that

it was a lot easier to keep my body in shape by not working out that much.

I've also had a little bit of wine today.

Well, that's a good idea.

By lifting.

How much wine did you have? Who knows? A little bit. You've got to pick where

your calories come from. And for me, the calories were better coming from a

liquid source than a sandwich.

Oh, my God.

That's the simple trick, everybody.

Then we go right, and dip, and dip, and dip.

Can you dip? Can you feel it? Oh, my gosh. She's got to dip.

Oh.

I'm not into the workout.

That's, you know, works the pelvic. It works the core. And so, yeah, that's

important for a lady, right? What's important is she has a nice look.

Yeah. Color coordinated. Oh, my God. The color coordination is so good. Oh,

beyond. Yeah, yeah.

I don't like it. I don't like the working out.

Oh, I'm on the wrong leg already.

I mean, unless it's a team sport, like making love, making out.

Try to take it out.

It's in. It's in.

Help me, help me, help me.

Oh, my God, Sonia.

Holy. She's had a lot of practice.

You should try deeper.

You'll never come out.

Do I need to be doing Kegels? I don't think so.

So I'm going to give you guys the undergarments that you'll wear under our

suits. Okay. So these are a special material so that you're able to feel the

contractions and the currents going through.

All right. So here you guys go. I love that smile.

I just have this feeling that Sonia isn't like the typical regular fitness

kind of girl. I think she needs something extra special. All right, you

ready? So I decided that we should go to shock therapy.

We're going to wet down the suit, then we're also going to wet down parts of

your body. The reason we do that is to amplify the intensity of the shock, so

it'll spread to all of your muscles, okay?

Who's ready to be first?

I'll let her go first. She's the bravest.

All right.

I'm hoping this shock therapy thing is they just shock me and then I look

better, healthier, firmer.

Or just walk out looking like Leah.

We good to go? Yeah. All right.

Don't be nervous. It's great.

Okay, I'm going to start with you. Give me your power stance. Okay, you keep

moving. All right. You're going to feel it in the front, back, and glutes.

All right. There we go.

So it's working, yes?

All right, let me know when you feel those abs.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Don't worry, that's it. We'll start there.

No, you are fine. You are fine. Don't worry. Open the lower back. You come

in here, Missy. You come back in.

Don't worry.

I love intense workouts.

This is an intensity that I've never even felt before.

All right, Sonia, let me know when you feel it.

There we go. There we go. Good.

Good. It's like a fear.

And intensity at the same time. Am I going to get electrocuted?

Is that good?

We'll start there.

Am I going to pee on myself or maybe have an orgasm?

Weird.

Actually, I feel like I'm inside my vibrator.

In the wand.

I am a vibrator.

Oh, boy.

Shock therapy was very cool. I'm glad I did it. But at the end of the day, my

home is with Martin at Trinity Boxing.

It's hot as a witch's tit in here.

I think it's as cold as a witch's tit.

It's not cold. It's hot.

I know, but when you use witch's tit, it's supposed to be... I don't use

tit. I'm just saying.

Martin isn't only a boxing trainer. He is like a life coach slash motivational

speaker.

Thanks. How's that?

That's great. Oh, my God.

If he had a cult, I would be in his cult.

Let me just put it that way.

So we go to this party, and I'm chewing gum.

You can't chew gum. Come on. At a party, you're going to chew gum? I mean...

Were you walking as you were chewing gum? I was just standing there, Martin.

don't know. I just walked into the party, and I was chewing gum. And Ramona

goes, Aaliyah, don't tell me you're chewing gum.

I swallowed the gum, because she scared the shit out of me. Oh, come on.

You got tattoos on your knuckles and you're chewing gum. What are you, 14?

There's definitely been plenty of times where I'm so happy to get in the ring

and punch him in the face because he is telling me the things that I don't want

to hear.

Pivot, jab, jab.

Watch out.

I'm going to have to agree with him on the tattoos on the knuckles, though. It

does look a little weird. Well, you know what? You go out to Southampton and

hang with them. All right, give me the address out there.

Coming up.

What are these things?

There was like the gloves that were the red and yellow.

I made it look very good.

Just saying.

Is that interview?

Take one.

All right, speeding all around.

Queen is here.

Can the interview take one?

Testing, testing, one, two, three.

Ready to talk about Ramona.

Take one.

I know what I'm going to do. Just let me do what I do, and then you can correct

me after.

Hold on, I have a kernel now. Sorry.

Why did I have the popcorn?

Interviews can be tough.

Being in their chair is harder than trying to speak Chinese to my dog.

Wynery was not the place I wanted to be.

That's perfect.

I would like clapping once in a while would be nice, just to keep my energy

Since when do interviews become two and a half hours?

Oh, God, he's winning.

Take a deep breath.

I'm PNSing.

Oh, I can tell.

Hopefully there's no noise upstairs because I told them don't make noise and

they've been still making noise. That's been terrible. Like a drill.

I got a cat meowing, and I'm parched, so can you bring me something?

Are you kidding me?

And I have soup in my teeth, sorry. Oh, you do?

And Lou, that... Are you kidding me?

I... Victoria, I'm one fall!

I'm sorry.

Meal fee.

He wanted to go to this event that we were invited to, but I didn't want to

What is it?

Somebody's, like, getting laid over there. That doesn't sound like... I got

new neighbor that lives above me, and so we're like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam,

and I'm like, it's terrible when you're not getting any... I hate that.

And maybe she will be the...

It's almost like they're doing it on purpose.

I think this fall has been very fruitful, very, um, unearthing.

I just made that up. I don't know what that means.

My arms look good.

Your arms look fucked up. They do? You should have put, like, one of those

cheater things.

Fancy, schmancy, or schmancy, or schmancy, or whatever it is. Fancy

Unless I keep talking about it and bragging, I feel like, about all these

accomplishments. Oh, sorry. Unless I, you know, keep bragging about all these

accomplishments.

Fancy schmancy. Fancy pants.

Unless I keep bragging about all these accomplishments.

Fancy schmancy.

Accomplish. I can't speak.

How do you say it? Fancy schmancy.

Unless I keep bragging about all these accomplishments.

Well, fancy schmancy.

Schmancy.

That could be a whole blooper thing for Andy.

I mean, seriously.

You don't want to ask me about that.

Leah's interview looks, as a first -time housewife, have a full range. She went

from Star Wars.

My name's Leah McQueenie. I'm an ex -teenage delinquent who started...

I know, but it's like, guess what? I don't have to say that. I just am.

To Dynasty.

Like, I never thought that I would have to be dealing with this on, like,

national TV.

To Sergeant Lonely Heart Pepper Band.

That's how I know how to do things best. Look my best, manipulate the men, get

what I want.

To Woody Beastings.

I made it look very good.

Just saying.

There was, like, the gloves with the red and yellow.

It looked like all she needed was a Volkswagen van and Scooby -Doo in the

Gloves. A little wilder than I would have chosen.

I think I did pretty good season one, you know?

Not everyone's going to love it.

That's okay.

What happens in your first season, you just don't, you're lost.

You're like, what, what, what? You're like a toothpick in the ocean.

The first season, you're not prepared for how many outfits you need. I want to

look sexy.

I want to look sophisticated.

I want to look pretty.

But it's changing and evolving. I mean, look at my look when I first started.

Well, every year that you're on this show.

You evolve and evolve, so you look back and you think, what was I thinking?

Oh, my look has totally evolved. It wasn't until Carol came onto the show

my ex -husband, Mark, said, well, why can't you get more clothes like Carol?

I really don't wear dresses now. I hardly ever wear a dress.

You know, people aren't as formal as they were 12, 15 years ago.

Or maybe I'm just not as formal.

You know, I'm pretty classic in terms of style.

Just classic and chic.

Chic c 'est la vie. C 'est bon, c 'est bon. Don't forget.

It's hard to pick a look based upon, you know, this.

So I always hated my interview look.

You know, there's a green screen. You got to match it. And there's like,

a lace and there's holes through your lace that you can't wear it. So I

typically just was just wearing like solid blouses that I would never

pick to wear ever.

It's not my best work.

It's just not my best work.

When you're my age, you know your look.

And you stick with it.

Do I?

Maybe

I

don't. I don't know. Maybe we're all a hot mess.

I think it's fun to take fashion risks.

It's fun to take beauty risks.

which is now why I have bangs today, you know.

Why not?

Give the people what they want.

Coming up.

Harass the drink.

You want to kind of show your sensuality? It's very sensual.

All

I

have to do?

Is not date psychos.

Yeah. And, like, not always easy.

I know.

Wait, listen, so my ex, who I blocked, my most current ex. The current ex,

We went to France.

We had a great vacation. On the flight home, I was like, what's going on with

your divorce?

And he was like, it's on hold. And I was like, my pussy's on hold, too.

was emailing me like i'm sorry i didn't i didn't know the divorce meet meant

that much it was just like timing no i was so mean to him i finally wrote him

back on email and i was like you're lazy complacent i'm disgusted with you i

want nothing to do with you he's like i just left presents with your dormant

happy birthday oh that was nice

did you thank him for this bag You blew that up. You didn't? No, I screamed at

him. I said, why are you dropping bags off in my house? I'm not a whore. You

think that's going to make me get back with you? You're so rude.

And then you put your things in your bag and you went out.

I was like, but anyway.

But anyway.

I said my piece. You said yours. Love the bag.

Don't want you.

So we're going to order something to drink, right? Yeah.

Do you want to go with the sake idea?

Okay.

This tastes good. I like this. It's really nice, right? Glad you didn't just

pick it up and then do it like a shot, because that's not necessary.

All right, so if I did that, then what would you have said?

Ramona, you don't drink it that way. I would have said Ramona.

Ramona. Can you roll the R's like that?

Ramona. Yeah.

Ramona. Enrico.

Enrico. So what do people call you?

Well, Enrique.

Enrique. Enrique.

You have good eye contact.

Thank you. So do you.

Well, do you think eyes are the heart of the soul?

Certainly the windows.

That's what I meant. See, I got it wrong. I meant the windows.

There's this one guy that I've been talking to that I call Pita Chip. He

kosher restaurant and a pita factory. A pita factory?

Pita. Pita bread.

And I was like, what did you just say? Who did you mean to send that to?

Oh, gosh.

It's probably for the best. He has little hands. Sounds like it.

Send him to the penis factory.

I hope he still sends me three matzo ball soups.

Let me tell you about Melinda.

She goes to the supermarket in hot pants.

And guys say she has nice legs. He said, I like your legs.

Short shorts.

You know the shorts I wear?

She said, can you help me get this? He said, for legs like that? Absolutely.

Cover your ears, mother.

Well, thank you.

I'll take it.

You'll take any compliment you get.

Listen, I walked by construction a couple weeks ago because I'm on 87th.

Nothing. I went back and said, what's wrong with you people? What do I have to

do? Pull my shirt down one week? Give me something here.

pita chip made.

Well, Leah, I don't even think you should have him over after the whole foo

-pah.

You mean the foo -pah?

The foo -pah.

After the whole... After pussy.

Oh my god, I'm dying.

I think that he's actually a gentleman. He just made a mistake.

I think he made a mistake.

Don't make a foo -pah and keep dating him, Leah.

I'm going to have a fupa if I keep dating him. He owns a tea place.

We went to Milo's in Huckney, Europe.

Milo's. Everyone's going to Milo's. They had so much fun. So much fun. And, of

course, all the guys were crazy about her.

Together, we made, you know, we had a great time.

And what happened when she went to the bathroom?

What happened in the bathroom?

Oh, I don't know what happened in the bathroom. She was making out with the

Yeah, and then you were kissing him. Oh, you did, too?

Yes, you did. No, wait. You've got to stop kissing other people's guys.

It was a peck. Her tongue was involved.

I forgot about that.

I do love Luann's whole Euro vibe, but I think she may be a little too Euro for

me. That guy was a good kisser. And he has a nice big lip.

I plead the fifth. I just remember having a very good time.

We gotta do that again.

We gotta do that again very soon.

My dentist is the hottest guy I've ever seen in my life. My dentist?

He's so hot. I'm lonely and I want my dentist.

I want my dentist so bad.

I'm in that chair. He takes care of me.

I'm obsessed with him.

Yesterday, he posted something on his Instagram story, like, ask me questions.

And people are like, you know, asking dentist questions. And I wrote, blondes

brunettes.

And he didn't respond.

He can't cross that line. He would never do that, but he could DM me back.

Imagine he was like, actually, Burnett.

I'd be like, meh.

I'd be like, you're an awesome mother.

What did she say? Avery can't wink. I always wink at her. Oh, yeah, you can't

wink. Let's see.

No, it's embarrassing.

I don't want to. She never learned how to wink.

No. I just go like this.

That's a wink, and that's a cue.

Can you wink?

Oh, you have a cute wig. It's sexy.

I like your wig.

All right, Leah, let's see your wig.

Let's see how you wink. Let me see your wig.

That's horrible.

It's too crunchy.

Mine's horrible. Can you wink?

That's a part of Ramona's whole vibe. Besides that and the straw.

Show the straw.

Do the frog.

Because, you know, you want to be, when you meet a guy you really like, you want

to kind of show your sensuality. Kind of like, you know, caress the drain.

Yeah, that's great. It's very sensual.

It was good.

Definitely a way to pick a guy up, for sure.

Sometimes I'm just like, who's going to have my back like Rob?

Like, nobody. Me and Rob were together for six years.

I was so...

in love with him. Like, I was 20 when we met. I was young.

And I needed to break up with him because I had to go on this journey to

myself, like, by myself.

And when I got my kind of together a few years after we broke up, we tried

getting back together again. But, like, so much time had passed that it was like

I couldn't see him sexually anymore.

And I don't think he can see me sexually anymore, you know? I want someone that

has my back.

And he has it. Yeah.

But I don't want to give him a blowjob.

Like, honestly, like, how do you want to give anybody a blowjob? I mean, let's

just be honest. When you are in love and that man is paying for everything in

cash. Yeah.

Coming up.

This chair that I'm sitting in today is from our very first reunion. When you

walked off, you had the very first.

All right, Limona, let's take a look down memory lane. Do you remember what

these couches were from?

Season two.

You were talking about not going to Alex and Simon's in Brooklyn.

Why didn't you go to their housewarming party?

It was at a strange time. I need to eat. It's in Brooklyn.

Where do you think Brooklyn is? Ohio?

I couldn't make it. I think this was...

Season five or six, and Aviva throwing the leg. That was crazy.

What made you take your leg off and throw it, Aviva? I just wanted them to

up. You really put your foot in your mouth this time.

And this chair that I'm sitting in today, it's from our very first reunion

the Russian Tea Room.

When you walked off, you had the very first... Alex, let's recruit them. Alex.

Recently, some nude photos of you surfaced.

After Johan's birth, I took some photos.

Ramona, where are you going?

Oh, I used to go to the ladies' room.

Okay, just pretend I'm not there. Here we are, 12 years later.

You believe 12 years? No. I think they both look better. I do, too, actually.

Lady Morgan. Lady Morgan.

Wow.

Okay, thank you. Thank you. Hi, Jen.

Reunions are super stressful, but the only redeeming factor of the reunion is

that you get to wear a big glamorous dress.

You look like Cinderella, but in black instead of white.

Yeah. If I had to have an argument in like jeans and a t -shirt, it would just

be so awful. But at least I can do it in a ball gown.

Oh my God.

When the season was done filming, I was like, great, it's over. I did all that

hard work. And then just when you think it's all over, you're at the reunion.

Getting mad at each other all over again.

We have so much to get into from the actual season, so let's do it. What do

waitstaff, restaurant owners, and some guy named Jeff all have in common? This

season, they all unwittingly purchased front row tickets to the spectacle known

as the Real Housewives of New York City. Take a look.

She got two dozen oysters. I said, can I have one? Can you just get your own? I

said, it's disgusting. You're eating two dozen oysters.

I love oysters. You're going to turn into a vagina.

That's a visual.

You know what? I'm going to go home. I have to go. I really have so much to do.

Sonia, that's ridiculous.

If you can't multitask, there's something wrong with your business.

Multitasking? This is a huge show. No, it's not a huge show. What is that

doing for you?

They can't do what I do. I have to negotiate the prices.

Deep breath. Nothing is free.

Okay, dry Riesling. Riesling is what New York is all about. It's focused. It's

nearly. It's acidic. I would use it as a lubricant.

Sonia.

Inappropriate, by the way. Yeah, come on.

Sonia, when was the last time you had sex? I had sex last night. Did you? I

pounded last night. There's a little hot mess going on over there.

Our little hot mess.

And where'd you get this watch from? It's so funny. It's so real.

That's not real, is it? I thought that was fake. Of course not. It's his

gut.

Oh, shit.

Oops.

Anybody home?

What's he doing here? It's a pussy party. Oh, watch your head, girl.

She's got the vibrator in her ass.

Oh, wow.

I think I'm going to go. Yes.

That's so rude.

Let's have dinner.

Are you kidding me right now? I'm

dead to you.

Please be my friend. Sit down.

Okay, so Tinsley knew. I support Martini Guy's reaction to that hot mess of a

dinner was perfect. What did your friends at the restaurant think of that

I was definitely worried because, you know, I had asked him to do a favor to

please have us there. He didn't text me till like the next day and I was like so

panicked, but he thought it was funny. He thought it was like a spectacle and

was funny. So I was fine. Did any of you notice Martini Guy the night of? No.

No. And now he's kind of like...

Famous. Iconic. Harriet from Providence said, ladies, are you ever aware of the

reactions you're getting in public, or do you not notice them until you watch

the show?

No. When we're in it and we get in the group, it doesn't matter who's around.

Right. And are we in it to win it? I don't know, but we're in it, that's for

sure. We are in it. We are so in it. I've said it before, but you ladies

me in a way that I love to be tickled.

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