Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New York City.

Happy birthday, Ramona!

Stop!

You've hurt me. And you know what? I don't know what I'm saying. I'm crazy.

You're right. Thank you. Thank you.

Lovely to know you.

You're being terrible. I can't deal with someone who's being terrible.

Get your shit together.

You're the one with the drinking problem. You and Sonia. You should both

AL. You went to jail for your drinking. She doesn't judge you.

This is great.

All right. We enjoyed, girls.

And the wind is so calm, I'm so impressed.

Oh, dear.

Are you okay?

Did you get that? I'm sorry. I let my feelings and expectations affect

everything. I think I made it multiple out of the mountains. Okay, cool. All

right. Yeah.

All right.

Sonia Rita.

Oh, my.

It's a special night for a special girl.

Like a mint in my mouth, I can be a bit bright.

I'm no one's arm candy.

I'm the pole ball sugar.

So what if I'm self -involved? Who else should I be involved with?

I'll say sorry for what I've done, but never for who I am.

I rise above the drama and won't settle for the lower level.

Who's here?

Who's in the back there?

Look at that. What do I see in the sunlight over there?

Is it my hangover, or is it real?

Is it real?

It's still not the tequila?

It's not the tequila.

Oh, my God. Am I hearing hangover? We're going to sweat it out. Oh, God. I'll go

get the girls. Okay. Before it gets too hot, because this is perfect, and I'll

change. Okay.

I've got some hot trainers out there for you to start looking at to wake you up.

Can you see them in the background there?

Okay, go ahead.

Uh, yeah.

There's good -looking trainers outside waiting for us.

Oh, you're sleeping too?

It is quite a day when I can't get these girls out of bed for two hot trainers.

What's going on? Look outside. It's not a mirage.

They're real.

Oh, no, not lunges in the sun. I can't deal with lunges in the sun.

Okay. Well, I tried.

I'm going to go change.

I got these cunts all alone, and you know what I'm going to do with them?

What any good woman does.

So, what I thought we would do, you teach me, I teach you.

I'm going to teach them duerobics.

Push it out.

Squeeze.

Squeeze.

Can you feel it?

Are you happy?

Beautiful day. Yes. Beautiful day.

There you go. And let's do right shoulder.

That's how you're left.

Can we make it bigger now? Yeah.

Bigger emotion. I think we have some company.

Yay!

Lovely young gentleman.

Raul, nice to meet you. Oh, Raul. Nice to meet you. Wow. Good morning. Good

morning. Good morning, boys.

I heard aerobics going on over here. What kind of exercise do you guys do? I

normally do, like, dancing. It says danza and fitness. You did?

Danza. Okay, so let's start here. Okay.

Cross, one, back.

Back. Got it.

Okay. Cha -cha -cha.

Hey, there you go. I like that we still can do it with coffee.

Now, back, in.

It's low, first. Now, in and out.

Unfortunately, I think I got to go to the bathroom.

Two seconds, I'll be right back.

Okay, that's a good thing.

Hold on. A little morning constitution going on.

So we start with the left.

Wow, look at those legs you got. Are we going to the right? That's why you're

the leg expert, huh?

Okay, I'll just take on the two trainers on my own. That's fine. I'm good with

that. Three.

Wakey, wakey.

Now I'm not letting you sleep anymore.

Oh, is it time to get up? I had a dream you came here earlier. I did. Oh, my

God. They're doing, I just did a little aerobics out there with the guys. Did

you?

I had Luann start doing hers because now it's getting too hot.

Thank you, guys.

Tell to your girlfriend that we were missing them.

She's awake.

Me.

Oh, my God. I get up. I spy out my little window.

Dorinda doing derobics with the two trainers up there.

Did you work out already?

We both did. We both did. Oh, my God. You guys are savages. You guys went to

after me.

We're old school, baby. We bounce back very quickly in the morning. And you

the best way to bounce back?

Get up and start moving.

All right. Well, I'll do that.

We're going to just splash around.

We're going to hug each other. We're going to stay here and we're going to

chill. We're just going to have sisterly love. Sisterly love. The flower bloomed

yesterday. That flower is gone. There's a new bunch of flowers today.

That's good with me. My flower is always blooming.

My mother described this as the flower.

The rose that will eventually.

Oh, you were a petunia. I was a rose.

A beautiful rose.

With thorns.

No. Why are you making my rosebush ugly? We're thorny.

Tonya, how are you?

I was dancing with mariachis last night. It was my birthday celebration here in

Mexico. Happy birthday.

How old are you, 24?

Yep. Okay, we love you. So I'll call you back later today to go over business

and deal points.

I'm having a huge launch with my fashion collection when we get back from

Mexico. This launch party

must be a success because.

Everyone who knows me has heard about my fashion and my perfume and my jewelry

and a toaster oven and ha ha ha. This party has to show that everything I've

talked about is coming to fruition.

Okay, I'm excited. I'll call you back in about a half an hour to go over the

fine details. Bye.

No,

I want rancheros for sure.

Maybe I should try that too.

You can't be in Mexico and not have huevos rancheros. Okay, I gotta help

They're the best.

Is this the office? Because I have work to do, too. Yeah.

I haven't even looked at my email in a couple days, and it's crazy. I didn't

even send an invite to my Century 21 party.

We're running a clothing line. No one understands how hard it is.

I'm looking at my sell -throughs.

Well, Leah, what were you saying? Your sell -throughs weren't great until just

recently? Well, no, the last couple weeks...

they've been low. And I was like, what the hell is going on? But I just had a

few new things land that are doing well. Oh, good.

When you own your own business, there is no actual vacation.

It's truly 24 -7.

Because no one cares about your business the way you're going to care about it.

Look at this one.

Today, I'm celebrating a glorious day, and I'm actually having a memo.

Great. Nice.

And it goes with your outfit.

All right, well, let's go sit outside, right?

Ramona, did you order egg whites?

No, I didn't order anything.

I ordered eggs. Oh, you did? Egg whites? The same as yesterday, I said.

I couldn't be happier today. Last night was just so special.

Everything came together. You were surprised, right?

Very. What are you doing now on this? The invitation for the present.

We all have invitations. I have to do it. I have to go then. I haven't stopped

since I got here. I have to do this. All right, then I'm going to do mine.

I've got to do mine. I've got to do my birthday. I've got to do my invite. I've

got to do this. Because you guys didn't get your invitation yet. We're just

going to have a nice breakfast. I've got to do everything. I'm having a nice

breakfast. I've got to do a thing with Ryan and Kelly. So you leave then. I've

got to do all kinds of stuff. So you leave. We were having a great time.

The interesting part about Dorinda is like she starts out all sweet and nice.

The Dorinda we love and adore.

And then it's like just something flips.

Boom. And then it's like.

I know, but do it after. Like, I've got to look at the roof. I'm totally

present. I'm sorry.

It's half an hour for breakfast, and then you can get right to it. Well, you

don't have to blow up like you're doing it. Just be present. I didn't know it

was offensive.

No, it is.

I'm not blowing up.

I thought we were having fun. You're right. So I'm going to do my emails,

You are right. You are right.

It's rude. You are right. It's rude. But why are you getting so upset? I'm not.

I just said get off your iPod. Just because you said no.

I can't do it. I've got stuff to do. I've got a script to work on. Thank you

very much. I had a beautiful evening. I was very present last night. But the

whole night I was very worried about this and also on the airplane.

I have to go. I'm sorry. I have to make a living.

Sorry. Bye.

Dorinda can vent on me all she needs.

It's her vacation, too. But I need to work on my invitations.

It can't wait. It has to go out now. Yesterday.

Two days ago.

I'm not going to let that go wrong.

No way.

When I get people on my private island or my yacht, if you want to talk about

your past like Dorina, we're not connected at the hip, you know.

to do what they want to do.

Now where do I put my glasses?

Coming up.

Look at these two. Oh, here it comes. They might be a couple. I don't know.

Those are not gay men short.

Okay, got to get this done.

It is rude to be at the table and be on your phone when we're having a meal

together. This is not what we do. This is what our parents teach us not to do.

was sitting here working, and then everyone came, and I was just finishing

email. So go sit over there then in your office.

No, I just closed everything.

Generally, as I say to Hannah, if you want to do work, then don't sit at the

table. If you want to sit at the table, we're not doing work for 20 minutes.

I understand where Dorinda's coming from, but at the same time, we're on a

-out vacation.

This is not like you must be at breakfast at 7 a .m. and sitting with

crossed and make sure your elbows don't touch the table. It's bizarre.

Do you have any jam, by chance?

Yes. Oh, great. Perfect.

Did we shut that down really fast? She was going from one to ten to a whole,

like, ooh.

But what did we say? You're right.

Actually, she was right. She was right. I said she's right.

Which earrings? Look, these or I have these.

Oh, I like the heart.

I know.

The hearts are good because they're open with a little gold. I like the hearts

on. Yeah, because I love you.

Look at this view.

It's just so classically beautiful, right?

It is. All right, so now, what are we going to do with Dorinda? Because I've

known her for years. She'll sometimes snap like this. It'll be over in one

minute. Now she snaps. It goes on for 20 minutes.

I miss the light.

Dorinda, make a little few jokes and a little few jabs. And this Dorinda, I

don't recognize anymore. This Dorinda, I...

Don't know. I don't want to know. I don't know what it is that's triggering

Maybe she's menopausal. I don't want to bring up menopause.

It's like someone saying, what do you have, your period? It's very offensive

say that. Well, you know what? I'm going to say, oh, you said you were 55.

I remember when I was 55. That's when I entered menopause. If you hadn't entered

menopause yet. Instead of talking about your behavior, talk about the menopause.

I mean, that could be a reason. You know, in Salem, when they used to burn

witches, I think that's what it was, just menopause, and they would just say

they were witches.

Yeah. Menopause.

Oh, I'm so happy the sun is just like in for a second.

Look at these. Oh, here it comes.

They might be a couple. I don't know. Those are not gay men shorts.

Those are straight guy shorts.

That's a good point.

Where are you guys going?

To the resort.

To the resort? What resort? Is it like couples, singles?

It's more couples.

Oh, it's more couples. Are you guys not, you're not a couple? No, we're not at

all.

I told you.

Well, I didn't think you guys were a couple.

I don't see wedding rings either, so we're not here. We're both single.

What about you?

Single. Single.

Right. Where are you from?

From Montreal. How about you?

Montreal.

Great. New York. New York.

You should come and see the house. It's pretty fabulous.

Come on. It's a visit?

Yeah. We're not going to kidnap you. It's a tour.

We're not part of a cartel.

Are you?

No. Okay. Okay. Thank God. You're Canadian.

What harm could you be?

These men should enter at their own risk.

Because inside the villa, there are very horny, insatiable women. Pretty much

just Ramona and Sonia. But Luantu. What would you like to drink?

Vodka soda.

Vodka soda?

Rum and Coke.

What do you want to have?

Water. Water.

I still taste the tequila in my mouth when I brush my teeth like ten times,

know? I might drink tequila and soda, which I drank last night.

What's going on here? We've got two handsome men. Wait, wait.

Is this a barrage? Am I a bad thing?

Hi, I'm Ramona. Hi, Lita. Nice to meet you. Pesca.

Lovely to meet you.

I'm Philip.

This is surprising. It's not even noon yet, and they already picked up two

Yeah, I don't know where Sonia is. We should get her out here. She's doing her

work. She's doing her invitations still.

How many hours to take your invitations? You're kidding. She's still doing that?

Our girlfriend's having a big party next week for a clothing line. She launched

a clothing store.

Do you guys get to New York at all?

Not really. Normally, I go more to Chicago.

What's the tattoo on your arm? What is that? It's for my daughter. The color

for love, but for the fire, the sun, because it's my sunshine.

Just never know when you're going to find a gem on the beach.

Philippe, il est très bien.

Maybe you could join us for a drink tonight.

We still don't know where you're going. We're going to Harry's Bar.

Porfirio. Oh, Porfirio. And then it's like Harry's Bar. It's like a thing.

so come meet us for whatever you want to meet us for. Maybe we'll change our

plan. Perfect.

Cheers. Here's the flexibility.

We like flexibility.

Here's to being flexible.

Coming up.

My life is raining, man. I have to give Singer something.

I'm 60.

No, Katie.

Well,

you look really good.

I know, right?

Yeah. I used your eyeliner just now, and it looks good.

I'll do my smoky eyes if I can do it like you.

Yeah, do it.

To Brenda?

Yeah. Me.

I'm not going tonight.

What happened?

You have diarrhea?

Horrible. Can I use your hairspray?

Yeah.

Do you know I'm passing gas?

Me too, but that's nothing new. I can't even get off the toilet.

Do you want something modem? I shit on my floor trying to reach for my dress.

All right, we don't need to know that you shit. On the floor, okay? It's too

much information. Well, I know you should be on the floor. Because that's

we were in Cartagena.

Ramona, that's how I feel. Well, that's not good. You're right. So, if you can't

go out, you can't go out. You know, it's like not very fun. We can get you

diapers. No, that's not fun.

I did it.

Well, you had to. We were exploding in Cartagena.

My bedroom smells like a barn.

I'm sorry, baby.

Since Cartagena, my intestines have never been the same.

Here's the rub you gave me. Don't even use the good rub that you gave us.

Just put your butt on that. Pull the dress up.

Eating like a newborn baby?

No problem. Add a little spice.

Make sure I'm home.

It's ruined some really great occasions for me. I'm not lying to you.

Oh, my God. What's going on? She has to run.

Oh, shit.

You haven't been brushing your teeth with the water through the tap, have

Oh, shit. I just did that now.

I wouldn't mind some diarrhea right now. I'm not even going to lie. It's like a

natural colonic. Look at it.

I mean, she looks good, but she can't go to dinner now.

What? Because you might, like, every ten minutes.

Oh, no.

Come in.

Woo -loo.

Wow. You sick? My stomach is like a balloon. Oh, I can smell it. It's

Let me get the Chanel all over body spray. Yeah, bring the Chanel all over

Oh, my God.

Our room smells like this all the time, so I didn't notice the difference.

All right.

Just start here.

I'm sorry.

You're going first.

Oh, no.

No pun intended.

Oh, no.

Give her the rope.

What did she eat? Give her the rope. You drank the Mexican water?

Before we leave, I probably shouldn't use that one. Very potent in here.

I feel really bad that Dorinda can't join us, but then again, she's been very

testy with all of us, so it might be kind of interesting not to have her

tonight. We'll check in on you later. All right. We love you. We'll come back

early. Oh, don't worry.

We feel better.

We're sorry that you feel sick.

Come on, girl.

Tonya, let's go.

Hey, bossy bitch.

I'm glad Leah's not a bossy bitch. She gets a little excited on tequila,

doesn't she? Oh, yeah. You need to get laid.

I know. That would probably calm me down a lot, you know? Probably.

Oh, yeah. A good toss in the hay will really do it.

Okay, let's go.

The circus is here.

Thank you.

Oh, careful.

We have sneakers on.

Well, this is a little switch from the other night.

Wow.

This is my kind of place.

Yeah, here we go.

Gorgeous. I'm glad I brought a sweater.

Can we see a wine list?

Yes, of course, we send it right away. We are looking for something special.

Margarita up, what's it called?

Yes, you make a spicy, like a little... You like a spicy margarita? You can make

a spicy margarita.

Wow, that's a pretty glass.

It's huge.

I mean, I like the way they do things around here. Oh, yeah.

Bigger is heavy better. The margarita glass, which could feed a family.

How's the night so far? Good. Cool. We just got here. How are you guys?

Pretty good. Thank you.

You guys. How's it going? You want to join us? Can we? Yes.

Should we put the guys in the middle? And you are Philly.

Yes, let's do that. Let's say Pasquale, but Pasquale.

Pasquale, go over here. No, Phillip's in here. No, he's in here.

Who's up first?

Of course, Ramona's acting like she's in heat.

Is she ever not in heat?

Are you single or married?

Well, I'm engaged.

Oh, damn.

But this guy.

Well,

I kind of like you.

It's not a competition, it's a tug of war.

So get ready. I don't do love triangles unless I'm the guest star.

Whoa. You're amazing.

Oh, my God, Philippe. I will kiss you later. I want to see that. Where's the

food? I'm hungry. Yeah, exactly.

I want to see that.

Should we play spin the bottle?

Well,

you are French.

I still want to know what's the relationship between all of them. All

have a love -hate relationship because she judges me a lot more harshly than

judges everybody else. No one can believe that I agree with her.

Me and her, I had her all mixed up. I thought she was such a bitch at first,

I had such a hard time getting to know her.

But

then

we had a breakthrough, and I think she's the kindest, most loving soul ever.

This bitch is a legend right here.

We looked at each other, we locked eyes.

I've been arrested.

I've been arrested too.

Have you? Packing a police officer.

Oh God, me too.

And we were like, yes, I'm going to be friends with her forever. So that's my

relationship with them.

The women like to act like they are these high society women, but they're

just regular chicks. And I feel like that's probably why we get along.

Oh my God, this is your kind of place.

Oh, wow.

Now we're talking.

Oh, that's going to hit. I don't know. Don't worry about it. Oh, my God. It's

rocket fuel.

Close shot. Yes.

Ramona, go, girl.

Ramona's looking hot tonight.

Do it on time.

Ramona, start your engine.

Actually, we had more fun dancing together.

Diarrhea has a way of showing up when you need it the most. Dorinda needed to

chill, and we needed to have a good time and dinner with no yelling.

Oh, my God. He's, like, so cut. That's why she's hanging out with him. I mean,

he's younger than me, too. Well, hello. Look at me, and I'm old.

We're of the same age, I'm sure. Well, how old are you?

44. And you think I'm 44?

Yeah. My life is raining, man. I have to give him something.

I'm 60.

No, Katie.

I don't believe you. I'm 60.

Oh, she loves it. I love this.

He's 39.

She's 37, thank God. But he can keep up with her.

Leah's got her tongue down. That guy's throat faster than I ever moved.

But she is a lot younger, so she's quick on the draw.

You see something, that one.

Yeah. Coming up.

We want to help you.

We want to help you. Don't you understand?

There's a problem here. It's really upsetting.

that you won't take it in.

Come in.

I brought you coffee just like you like it, light.

I actually stumbled out of bed to see you. I actually dressed properly for

I know, you're the first one up.

That's a very Dorinda outfit.

Is it?

Yeah.

Last night, you know, as soon as you left, Dr.

King, his name was Caesar Casanova. I love that name. He was so cute.

They had families for six days.

More importantly, the place looked beautiful. Was it beautiful? Well, first

all, the setting was stunning. It was elegant, chic, beautiful. I can't

I'm listening. Stunning, actually stunning.

Oh, and the two guys showed up with Leah, and she was getting a little

Here's the video. You're going to die.

You're going to die.

Oh, my God.

Hello. Get a rope.

Wait. They're exchanging tongues.

He was rubbing her all over her body.

She has a beautiful body. She does.

Right? Well, Ramona Singer, one got away.

Didn't get that one in her little claws, did she?

So we come back here, and Leah kissing this guy, grabbing him, touching him. He

was, like, touching her, rubbing her.

Leah is, like, I call her, like, a...

Like an untamed horse, like a colt. She is. She's like a stag. She doesn't

sometimes have the best decorum. She's like, my name is Leah!

Calm down.

We're talking about your ears must be burning. My ears are ringing.

Ring, ring, ring. I saw the video. I saw the video.

And the picture.

So did he stay? I know, you know what?

I thought he was very nice.

He cuddled me, he kissed me, and it was good. But then I kicked him out. You

did? Yeah, I kicked him out. I was like, bye. You know what? I came in and I

thought, I'm going to bed.

I was exhausted.

I'm seeing double. It's crazy.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Are you still a little tipsy? I think she's still a little tipsy. I think she

is. Are you ready for the cenote and the blessing?

I think we need a shaman today.

All right, so listen, this is what we're doing. We get there, we meet with the

shaman, who will give us a beautiful blessing.

Then you actually go down into a cenote. So all you need is a bathing suit,

preferably a one -piece, and you can jump in the water. Then we're going to

off and have a beautiful lunch. Today's going to be beautiful.

At 10 .30, we're going to leave about 10 .30. Okay. An hour.

Because it's deep in. I don't know if the cenote is the cave and the cave is

cenote, but we're going to an area where there's those things involved.

Let's go. I want to get a coffee.

All right. Well, you know what? I'm always making fun of you guys for being

but you know what?

I can't see the bed.

All right. Well, it happens, right?

I completely blame these women. They're rubbing off on me and not in a good way.

I told him I haven't had sex in months. I'm not having sex with you.

Good for you and your honesty.

Well, he might have been a bit surprised as you were, like, sitting on his lap

and making out with him. I mean, I was sucking face with him, but it was a

kisser. A little too bossy for me.

I will have a real great sleep.

Where's Sonia?

Sleeping. Oh, I should go in there and cuddle with her.

You should have some electrolytes. You're going to need to recuperate after

week. Do I smell like tequila? A little bit.

If I put a match in front of your mouth right now, there'd be a flame coming

out. Oh, my God. Don't make me feel bad.

All right. Can we all rock and roll now?

Everyone pee.

Sonia, pee before we go. Tell Luann. She's the one.

No, we've got a pillow.

And we've got a green juice.

You want a hair of the dog?

Oh, I'm going to have a hair of the dog.

Get from Nantucket. Here we go.

Drunk in the day, drunk in the night. That's us, bitches.

I feel like hell, but if I want to have any self

-respect left, I need to be able to keep up with women who are twice my age.

I actually feel better now that I just laid down there. I'm going to lay down

the car. I'm going to be good. I've got Alka -Seltzer Advil. I've got everything

through. Green juice.

Don't do the green juice. It makes you poop.

My whole goal is to get them up and out every day.

We're truly like newborn babies. They've got to get their fresh air every day.

Get them exhausted. They stay out of trouble.

And I really love this spiritual part of this trip. It's that world that we

don't know about. And then you go deep into these cenotes.

I'm just curious to see how each girl reacts to it.

Dorinda, take a look at this guy.

My guy is sexy.

He's adorable.

These things, I know it's business.

Do you want American Idol?

No. Shall we go to this one?

And we'll show the other one of them on stage. That's where it's going.

Well, we share a lot of people, don't we?

Oh, did you have a story with him, too?

Of course, I went out with him.

God,

how do you guys all find the same men? Where am I? Home in bed.

This group seems to share one man, and they drag him along like a ragdoll.

It's like Duck, Duck, Goose with men.

Hello, I know him well. Hello, hello.

Hello, hello, been there, done it.

He's in my shows. Glad to say I don't know him that way. I can't take any of

guys around these girls. Next thing you know, they're sticking their tongues

down their throats.

I already cleaned that bowl. Back it up.

Jeez.

Yeah, are we leaving the car?

I mean, what are we doing?

This is a hike. I just want to bring something light and airy. We're not

hiking. I mean, look what we have on for shoes. Yes, I told you.

It's like a 25 -minute hike up a mountain.

I didn't realize that.

Shut the f*** up, man. Shut the duck up. Shut the duck up. You're making that

up. Yes.

Coming up.

Why are you mad at me?

Agree with us, because you agree. I'm not bullshitting. You agreed before.

is a serious issue. You're not getting it.

Yay, we made it.

So, there we go.

Hello, girls. How are you? Let me stick the wire. I've been better.

Is the shaman freaking out that we're approaching? His pet's probably

Rebecca, you are?

Sonia. Sonia, nice to meet you. Leah.

Leah, Sonia, Ramona, Luan, and Dorinda. You can call me Dorinda.

No,

Lou, not Louie.

Lou, Lou, very good, Lou.

No, Louie?

I mean, I need to grow a mustache.

Last time I checked, I was not Louie.

Maloquin, Julian.

To say hello in Maya, Maloquin.

Maloquin.

Julian, he's a shaman. He's going to ask all the trees, the plants, the caves,

the animals, the birds to take care of you.

Maloquin.

I'm a spiritual person, but now I'm scared.

The shaman's doing this blessing, and every bird in the sky starts to go

I'm even wearing a rosary underneath there, but...

This is real.

Thank you very much. Very nice. Do you have any questions, girls?

Hopefully it helps hangover.

Okay, chicas, bring your bathing suit because we are going into the cenote.

Follow me this way.

Come, everybody. Come up here. We are doing rappelling. What's the difference

between ziplining and propelling? I don't know.

I like ziplining.

I seriously don't know the difference between ziplining and propelling. No, I

not. I do not.

We need to go down there with the rope. We're falling into a cave. This is a

harness. How amazing is that?

Okay. So cool.

Okay, JJ, he's going to help me giving you the harness you start putting on,

then I explain you how to do the activity.

If they had a ladder, I'd go all the way down. The whole thing would be dizzy.

Just look at that.

How are they going to get up?

There's a walk. You walk there.

All right, but I want to go down this way.

Okay Why would I throw myself down a hole like that as it is

when I ski now I go down the bunny hill and I put a helmet on these golden track

suit I've got another good five years in me of earning potential

Right first, if JJ's not there when you come down, you know what happened.

I know why you're going down there.

I'm back, JJ.

Did you hear that, JJ?

What was that?

Nothing. You know what? I'll tell you when I get there.

No, you'll show them when you get there.

No.

All right, good. You're a pro.

He's going.

Okay.

You can go.

I'm glad you're here.

Good job, Lou!

Woo!

No, don't hit the wall. No, no, just go down there.

Hey,

girls, it's a breeze.

No, it's not. It looks so easy. Well, she grew up, like, you know, shower.

She needs more tacos, Irina.

Good job!

Oh, my God, look at Irina go!

Look at her go! Be careful, though. You know me, I'll jump into anything, but

I'm very athletic. People don't know that about me.

I'm quite agile for an older woman.

Ask John.

I'm doing it. Here I go. Here I go. Here I go.

If I lean back.

Now what? Now enjoy it. You're there.

Just go. What do I do?

Just let it go a little?

I can't believe that Leah is freaking out.

I'm shocked. She's acting like a whimpering fool right now.

You might have tough feet because I have delicate feet.

This is amazing.

This is one of the best things I've ever done in my life. Awesome.

Beautiful.

Let's find the girl.

Oh, my God.

This is so beautiful. It looks like amazing architecture.

It's like art at its best.

Look at how beautiful it is.

But we're coming to look to see how pretty it is.

It's a little cold.

There's bats in here. It's so cool.

I don't want to look at the bats.

This is so nice.

She's used to having a noodle.

How old are you? Five or what? Yeah, five.

I look so young. I'm only five.

Can you see those things?

I was like bouncy, buoyant, happy.

No Dorinda screaming at me.

She even liked it. We should keep Dorinda there for a day or two, see what

works.

Isn't it beautiful?

Chicas, follow me this way. Chicas, I love how she calls us chicas.

Are you kidding me? I am so amazed at how beautiful and magical.

this place is. And I swear it has healing powers because I'm feeling so

better. You guys gave me strength to do that. You guys gave me the strength to

do that. You guys are my hangover shaman.

That's right.

Come on, girl. We're coming. So we got a big surprise. They set up a beautiful

lunch here for us. We don't have to go out.

Oh,

I need that. Just plain water, chips.

Perfect. Perfect.

I'm so excited. Thank you.

How's that stuff?

Pure cucumber. It's a great thing. If you bought this in the city, it'd be $12

cup. You only get $6 for it. This is amazing.

I could see myself in Mexico in one of those, you know, grass huts on the

I'll be gardening all day.

What did you guys think of the shaman? That stuff that he was burning, I have

this. witch or this bruja this puerto rican girl who's a witch from brooklyn

i see she's the real deal and you know what she actually helped me heal from my

ex -boyfriend that broke my heart and she said that his bad energy was in my

vagina excuse me bad feed um because no because obviously it's an energy

exchange and so i have to put a crystal egg up there

It's a lot better to have a crystal up your vajayjay than a stick up your ass.

And you know what? She actually helped me heal Hannah.

Hey, Hannah. I wanted to tell you, remember I said I offered to catalog the

classics library at Hunter?

Yes.

Oh, my goodness. That's amazing, Hannah. I bet you'll love that.

Hey, Hannah, can I ask you a question? Did you go to the apartment and find a

jacket? I understand you take a call from your daughter. Of course you do.

get away from the table after you just yelled at everybody and chopped their

hands off for picking up their computer.

It's hypocritical.

I thought we were having a meal together.

Oh, what?

Like at breakfast when you freaked on me at breakfast? No, my daughter's

calling. It's my daughter.

No, but my daughter was on the phone, not doing an invite that you could do in

the other room. It's my daughter. But you came and sat down with us. We were

already working, and you joined us. No, no, hold on. Sonia doesn't want me to

take a call from my daughter, so let me go.

No, I'm not doing this invitation that should have been done a week ago. I hate

when you do this.

Where's the anger coming from?

No, my daughter's calling. It's my daughter. But when your daughter

No, no, hold on.

Sonia doesn't want me to take a call from my daughter, so let me go.

No, I'm not doing an invitation that should have been done a week ago, okay?

Thank you, Ramona. You were taking a call from Avery, so next time you do

I'll do that. I will never not take a call from my daughter.

I hate when you do this.

I'm so happy she called.

Where's this anger coming from? And isn't it so exciting? They haven't even

a go at the whole library at Hunter.

That's exciting news for her. It's adorable.

But she was pissed off from breakfast.

I'm off. You blow up and you get really angry. Right now you're angry.

Don't even start that. You're angry now. No, no. Well, you did it to me. Okay,

no. A couple of times.

I got to tell you, just so you know, every time my daughter calls.

Not just this one isolated intimate date. So I said, please stop.

You've blown up on her, blown up on me, blown up on Sonia, and all of a sudden

you get really angry. Stop. No, I'm not.

I do agree that Dorinda's temper is definitely way too much, but this is not

way to go about it.

I've got to go congratulate my daughter on her success, but I can't do it in

front of people that she thinks are her friends. No, we love you.

Thank you so much for the advice and everything.

I hate when you make it look like I'm being sarcastic.

Listen, can I give you a good example? We want to help you. We want to help

We want to help you. Don't you understand?

We want to help you. You're not getting it. And you're getting angry at us. We

want to help you.

It's really upsetting that you won't listen. It's really upsetting that you

won't take it in. I got to call Hannah. I got to congratulate her. Why does she

do that? She turns it around on us. She turns it around.

Hey,

sweetie, that's amazing. So what are they going to have you do?

I can't believe Ramona is pouring out the crocodile tears right now.

I'm upset because she's really angry. Oh, you're okay, Ramona. You'll be okay.

It is just distracting from our cause and giving Dorinda the perfect excuse to

walk off laughing.

Instead of her just saying, I'm sorry, Sonia, you're right.

I'll just take my cola and run to the side while you girls enjoy your lunch.

can't she just do that?

Instead of saying, what is going on here? It's not about that. It's why are

attacking? Why do you have to be right?

I'm proud of you, darling.

I love you.

Good. Sweet.

Are we good? Let's go back, though. Yeah. I'm ready. Okay. You okay, Ramona?

know you got hysterical there. Oh, I know.

It's really traumatizing. All right, let's go.

Making fun. It's so funny.

It's cute. I love you during that. And I really hate when you start doing that

mocking bull.

Oh, my gosh.

Maybe I should just give up at this point. I don't know.

And you've seen it. You were no help. You've seen her go after Luann. You've

seen her go after other people. It doesn't matter.

No one does that. I don't feel like I need to confront her on anything.

Why are you mad at me?

Agree with us. Because you agree.

You agree before.

You agree before. I'm not mad.

Ramona has consistently said nasty things to me. And Dorinda has

had my back. So why would I ever turn on Dorinda?

It's hysterical.

It's really not funny.

It's not funny. There's nothing comical about the situation.

Well, we've got a long ride now together.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New York City.

You're the worst of my father.

You're freaking me out right now. What do you want me to do, Lou?

I want you to be real.

Don't be jealous.

It's okay. You can have my life.

Here we go.

On a day I might not like you. I mean, that's mean, Mom.

I'm more substance than just a sensual body, and I think I am very sensual.

We had this rehearsal today. Did you forget?

You never told me about this rehearsal.

Get your ass over here, girl.

Who's excited?

It's not just retail.

What is going on?

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