All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.New.York.City.S12E14

Previously on The Real Housewives of New
York City.

Do you think it's nice when you have a
good girlfriend and when they don't like

something, they say right away, are you
drunk?

She's just so angry. I don't know what
she's angry about. We're like,

This is the time for you to just really
just be peaceful. Yeah.

You're going to land on your feet. You
always do.

I told you she was going to bring out
money. Oh, of course. Who doesn't bring

out the money? Don't worry, you're
getting paid. It's Broadway pay, but you

know. Broadway.

Oh, I'm so happy you're here.

So I painted this, so do you like it?
Wait a minute, that carpet is, wow.

Let's do Chinese.

I just have fun.

And I'm not going to throw anything
tonight. I want to be paid something. I

don't need you in my show.

$200 is so expensive.

I don't want you in my show. How's that?

You're done.

You're done.

I never want to see her in my show.

She's worthless.

I think it's dinner time.

Earlier, the energy was really bad. So
I'm hoping when I come back for dinner,

everyone's a little lighter and in a
better place.

Thank you.

May I escort you to the kitchen? Is that
okay? Is that possible?

Because I kind of like, I can really, do
you know what happens?

I feel everything all over myself. I'm a
sloppy chick. I look good, but I'm

sloppy. Okay, all right. Thank you, ma
'am.

Pretty deep.

Oh my God.

Are we going out?

No, we're going to have dinner.

I rode up here. I got an oven croissant
and it fell all over.

I got extra food because, I don't know.
I just thought, you know, I like food.

Okay, I get hungry.

I know I look thin, but I love to eat.

We're going to have dinner.

Thank you so much.

You're so kind.

Wow, I did overkill there.

Dallion pancake.

Crazy. Soup? I don't remember ordering
soup.

We have a little dinner party going on
in the kitchen.

Oh, look at you.

Oh, my God, you ordered great.

It's amazing. Wow, wow, wow. Right?

Beyond wow. Yeah, they're good.

She was like the elf. She put all the
plates on the table. I was like shocked.

Lou, you look so hot, but here's the
thing.

What's the thing?

What is the thing?

I'd love to know what the thing is. I'm
very supportive of the other girl.

Really? So the friends say, you know
what? I don't hate you so much.

No. I don't know why Sonia puts up with
that.

Because I think she loves the win, and
she likes, you know, she likes to

perform.

Sonia should know her worth.

Well, maybe Sonia should do her own
show, as I told her. That's what I said

her. Sonya was doing cabaret before
anybody did cabaret. She was?

Yeah. I remember she did the whole swan
thing.

I'm listening.

I'm listening.

I said Sonya did cabaret way before
anybody did cabaret. She was like, oh,

really? No, not cabaret.

Cabaret left.

Oh, that was good, too. Not the same
thing.

That was pretty good, wasn't it?

I can take you to heaven. Not that I
don't find it all fun.

No. I kind of liked it. I'm sorry.

I'm a major.

Well, you're a major cabaret star. We
know that, accountant.

Luke, don't get high on your horse here.
Come on. No, it was amazing.

Stop. Stop. Give her some credit. Don't
get high on your horse.

Give her credit. I'm amazing. She's
talented. You're talented. I'm very

You're talented, too. There's enough
room for everybody. Stop it. This girl.

You're being nasty to her. No, I'm not.
You're being nasty. No, I'm not. Bow

down to her. I'm not being nasty.

Dorinda's trying to protect Sonia.
Sonia's perfectly capable of having a

conversation with me. She doesn't need
Dorinda to defend her.

I don't care if those bitches are saying
whatever.

I love you. I've always included you. My
show is my show.

It's not about you. It's me.

My shoe is me. It's not you.

It's called Countess and Friends.

It's not about you. Yeah, Countess and
Friends. It's about me.

I bring you in because I love you.

She should include her in a dignified
way. I have a cabaret show which is

successful. Shut the fuck up. And I love
you. Shut up. But don't tell me what to

do. All right.

Bye. Show your ass and your boobs
somewhere else.

I'm done with the wind. I'm done with
her show. I have a professional show.

Because I am. That's what I do.

I don't want anybody that shows their
boobs in the room. Oh, come on. You're

now. Yeah.

She has a new direction.

She just disrespected me right now.

How's that?

Bye, Luann. I would love to hear how I
disrespected you. Bye, Luann. Go ahead.

What did I say?

You said I suck.

You said I'm bad. I didn't say you suck.

No. You didn't even say she sucked. I
said I want to bring you into my show

I'd be delighted.

And you have said to me that you do not
want to be in my show. She said you

don't want $200. That's insulting.

Sorry. No, I'm not paying her anything.

You don't pay that. Sorry.

That's a shame. You should be ashamed of
yourself. I'm not paying anything.

While she was with you, we were going
through your down and out.

Basically, Luann is using Sonia for
laughs and not paying her. Not right.

Luann is making, as she told me, a
shitload of money. She can afford to

Sonia $1 ,000 or $2 ,000 or $3 ,000 or
$4 ,000, okay?

And Sonia could use the money.

Shame on you!

I'm ashamed of you for saying that to
this girl.

She was with you when you were down and
out.

Stop!

Dorinda, why are you being like this?

This woman.

You are so scary.

You don't even know what's going on
here. I do.

I do. You know everything, Dorinda.

Dorinda, you know everything.

Really? With your hand, you know
everything.

You know what? No, you don't know
everything. No, you don't. What are you

saying? You drunken fool. You have a mug
shot of your drunkenness.

It sucks to hear this coming out of
Dorinda's mouth because, let's be

we're all one drink away from a mugshot
in this group.

Come on, Liz. Okay, wait.

Be gracious. Okay, wait. Are these
people to help you?

No, no. Yeah, you cry now. No, no. Okay,
wait.

Don't cry. Speak up for yourself.

I'll go there.

I'll go there.

Dorinda. I won't go there. I understand
what you're saying. I won't go there. I

don't care.

They're being a little aggressive.

Dorinda's like a dragon with a spire
that just goes after anyone who's in

of her at the moment. And it's always
when she's been drinking and it gets

very vicious.

First she goes after Tinsley
horrifically, then she goes after me,

Luann. Who's next?

Okay, I'm kind of shocked about this.
Okay, seriously, I'm kind of like done.

Watch out. You know what? Karma's a
bitch.

I feel protective to Sonia. So do I. You
know what? She's a good girl. She's

vulnerable.

I want to play with Luke. But she uses
us, that whole thing.

She's the whole Giovanni thing. She gave
her.

There's no way that I can stay in this
house. Why is Dorinda trying to make me

feel ashamed and feel bad about myself?
That's not what a girlfriend does.

Feeling Giovanni. Thank you that I gave
it to you.

Keep wearing this.

What's wrong with you? Get over it,
Dorinda. Thank you. You're a sick human

being. Get over it. Thank God you had
it.

What's wrong with you?

I'm still waiting. What?

This is not Giovanni. Oh, my God. You're
not packing up and leaving. What?

I'm leaving. Stop. I'm leaving.

What is going on? It's $400.

She doesn't want me here. I'm sorry. I'm
going.

This is insane. Right now.

Right now. What is happening? I don't
get it. I can't wait. I can't wait to

in the car and go home.

What the hell is going on?

Yeah, and she hates me.

She's still not over Giovanni.

I'm starting to think that Dorinda owns
stock in Giovanni because the amount of

times the word Giovanni comes out of her
mouth doesn't make any sense to me.

All right, well, let's go to that pub.

I will go with you to a pub right now,
100%. Okay, good. So, come. All right,

let's go. Let's go. All right, let me
get my coat. Okay, get your coat. He

her, like, be thrown out of the house.
Is that cool?

Not really. She'll be all right. No, no,
Rindy gets like... She's domaniac. Can

I have Luann's room?

I thought we were sharing rooms. What
happened?

I was so... Who are you sharing?

Okay,

it's not a night till Sonya falls over.

It's a fucking night.

I love it. Hi.

We're going to hang out with the locals.

What's going on? Oh, this is crazy. It's
so crazy.

Ramona!

Why aren't we sharing? I'm so protective
of you.

Wait, why aren't we sharing?

Ramona!

Where are you going?

Dude, Luann is outside hysterical
crying. Can you please go talk to her? I

know what the hell to do.

This is terrible.

I'll come back.

Please talk to her.

She's hysterical outside.

I'll be back later.

I'll be back later. I need you.

I need you.

I'll be back.

Luann is hysterical outside.

Where's my cologne?

Come on if you're going to go.

I have no money, no credit card,
nothing. I have no money. But I'm going

with Lou. Lou, Lou, where are you?

Okay, okay. This is ridiculous.

I'm not staying here.

No way. Look me in the eyes.

Dorinda is in a really bad place. She's
horrible. No, look at me. I'm going.

I don't want to stay here. I don't want
to be the Blue Manor. I'm not staying

here. She's in a bad place. I'm leaving.
I'm going to check into this hotel.

I have to go. I have to go. I've never
seen Lou Anne cry like this.

She's in pain.

Dorinda got vicious for no reason.

She went for the jugular. She went below
the belt. She said things that weren't

even true.

Not cool, Dorinda.

Not cool.

You're it? Wait, let's go.

Okay, I have nothing. I have no phone.
No money for the car. I got you.

Let's go to bed. Ready?

I want to go to bed.

What time is it?

It's 8 o 'clock.

I'm going to bed.

Do you want me to do sunny side up?

Oh, yeah. And then you do the scrambled.

We should put this over here.

Good morning.

How are you doing?

I slept really well, believe it or not.
How are you feeling this morning?

I feel like I should have probably
gotten involved when I shouldn't have.

I was feeling bad for Sonia because I
could tell last night she was drunk. We

were all drunk, which is always the rose
that gets you every time. We had

nowhere to go.

Dorinda does not realize how nasty she
gets. And she used to blow up from zero

to 100, and it lasts a second or two.
Now she blows up to zero to 1 ,000, and

lasts like 30 minutes.

And it gets very, very vicious and
almost evil.

Oh, hi.

Who are you talking to? I'm laughing to
myself. Why are you laughing?

Isn't this where we left off last night?
Oh, my goodness. Luann's in a hotel

now. What was, like, Luann's issue?

I mean, gee.

I don't know. She's back on her high
horse. That's all I have to say.

When friends of mine drink and they lose
it, that doesn't bother me because all

things are forgiven when partying. But
the fact that Lu thinks my time is not

important as her time, that bothers me.

I think the frustrating thing is because
I could see it a little bit yesterday

again. Like, she started at one point.
She actually almost flipped. She's like,

I'm a cabaret. And then she stopped.

I know. I saw a little of the old, old
Lu come out.

Morning. How was your night out?

Was it a nice bar? Fun bar? What? It was
actually so cute.

It's like all old school and there's
like a jazz band.

In the car, Luann was crying. But once
we got to that jazz bar, Luann was up

dancing. I think she wanted to sing, but
they were not really that interested.

So at least Luann had fun when she went
with you.

Yeah. Or was she still upset? No, I mean
she was still upset.

I drank a bunch of martinis and flirted
with the bartender, and Ramona kind of

did nothing.

Was it worth going out?

I mean, look, there was a lot of, like,
90 -year -olds there.

90? I should have gone.

90. Yeah, you would have loved it. You
would have loved it. It was, like,

geriatric central.

So what are we going to do with Lou now?
I want to call her. I think I got to

call her. Yeah, let's just call her.

She won't pick up.

Guess who?

I love you.

I love you too. I don't know what
happened.

Rosé happened.

Rosé happened.

I woke up this morning. I woke up this
morning and I ran to your room. I'm

where is she?

I love you. I want to stay in a good
place. I don't know. I was feeling

defensive of Sonia. And I swear to God,
I don't use liquor as an excuse. But can

I for one time?

Absolutely. Well, listen, of course.
And, you know, I was an over -serve

And I feel really bad because I just
feel like I didn't handle, you know,

happened the right way.

It's fine.

I'm not going to let one night of a
drunken rampage ruin our relationship.

I'm going to let it go. But I hope that
Dorinda realizes that her behavior is

very hurtful to her friends. And I hope
she wakes up and smells the roses.

You know what I think it was? There's
all this buildup of coming up and

the time together. And we peak too soon.
We were peak too sooners.

It's like coming too soon. It's like a
guy who gets so excited he's jacking up

before he even gets in.

Exactly.

I love you, and I want you to come back.

Okay.

Okay, perfect.

We're good, right? I love you. And the
first thing we're going to do is hug.

Rose. Rose Day.

Love you.

That was good.

You always know how to make it nice.

We let her off the hook, absolutely,
because Dorinda doesn't understand her

behavior, so it doesn't even make sense
to fight the battle with her. So we're

just better off saying, okay, okay, and
burying it under the rug.

It's so good when you can blame it on
alcohol.

It's so good.

Coming up.

Analyzing.

Well, how come you get to analyze an
alcohol? Because you're a bad mower. I'm

pro.

You need coffee.

I think we have to put more. Hi.

Good morning. Is there water underneath
here? It's all the laughing going on

down here. Yeah, because we just got off
the phone with Lou.

I'm good with Lou. Too bad.

I'm clean.

Yeah, and I got in trouble because I was
defending you.

I didn't even have any skin in the game.

No, I didn't know you threw her out. You
came in this morning and you go, Lou's

not here.

What happened? I don't remember.

Did Dorinda get off the hook for losing
it again? Does she have anger issues?

Yes, but I understand where it's coming
from.

We did slip away yesterday to the grave
to see Richard.

So I got to come up and clean up. Here
he is.

Beautiful. We love you. We love you,
sweetie.

We still think about you. And the house
is back in order.

He's good.

He's good.

He's good. He's good. He's where he's
meant to be.

Unfortunately, that was his journey.

It takes a long time to get over the
pain of a loss like that, and I know.

I'm still smart over the loss of my ex.

Hot maple syrup. Oh, my God, I want one.

Today, we're going to have breakfast, go
up, get dressed, dress pretty.

We're going to go to Lenox, not just
jeans and stuff.

Beautiful little town. Getting stuck in
the house is not a good thing for these

women, so I want to do something fun and
different.

Change it up a bit.

Well, I'm very excited how quickly they
made up in two seconds. Oh, my God.

Thank God. It was so good. But now what
about you and Luann? Are you going to

talk to her about everything?

I'll always love Luann. She'll always
love me. But I'm not going to do her so

she feels that. It's a favor. I'm too
busy.

Well, we'll see what she says to you
today.

Yeah, maybe she's going to apologize to
you.

She sounded very good. I think we all
were in the same mindset, were they?

I'm just happy I was the least drunk out
of everybody, and I'm not getting

yelled at today.

Yeah, Leah.

Dare I say, Leah, we didn't think this
would happen, was the best behave last

night. I'm the guilty of that. I was so
worried that you were going to be psycho

bitch forever.

All right, girls, I'm ready.

We fit all three of us. Come on, guys.

We're going to pick up.

I love it here.

Very peaceful.

Yeah.

That's Red Line Inn. This is where I
worked my whole entire life.

Doing what?

Waitressing. I was Senator Fitzpatrick
and Mrs. Patrick's favorite.

I told on everybody and Brown knows my
way right to the top.

Hi. Hi. Hey, girl.

It's raining, so I'm going to jump
quickly.

Please do.

Okay.

You like the glasses?

Aren't they fun?

I bought them in the gift shop.

Well, anyway, I'm glad that we can get
over things quickly and move on.

That's just how we roll.

But it was, you know, it was crazy.

Now I know how you feel.

I was the brunt of it last night.

I know.

She doesn't even realize that she gets
like that. That's the scary thing. She

doesn't even realize it.

Yeah, because it really upsets me, you
know, because... Well, it's hurtful.

hurtful. The problem with Dorinda is she
pushes all these resentments down and

she doesn't deal with them. And it's
bound to rear its ugly head sooner or

later. I should have just sat there and
played dead like Ramona did at the

Halloween party.

All right.

Ready, girls?

Ready. I'm not going to run up and hug
Lou, okay? No. Restrain me.

No. Really? You need to be restrained?

Hi, Lou.

I feel like I got into a fight with my
boyfriend.

You know what I mean? It's like I had a
lover's quarrel. I swear to God. I woke

up this morning all upset. I woke up
like this.

Yeah. Oh, my God.

Let's go to this furniture store.

Hi. Hello.

Hi there.

Sure. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, look at all the little doggies. Oh,
lavender.

Oh, I love it. Nice home store.

How you doing, son?

Aw,

that's nice.

Listen, I want to talk to you about this
because it's a business thing for me in

terms of I have a huge team that I
travel with, right? I know what you've

saying. You've got to figure out how to
make it work. Exactly, because, you

know, it's...

Depending on venues, if I get like a
bigger venue, when I can afford to pay

more, of course I will.

And we'll work on that.

That's very summer.

How do I get this crack open? I just
wanted you to know that you enjoy doing

with me as much as I enjoy doing it with
you. I do. You didn't really mean that

it was a favor. I mean, we do it because
we're so good together. Listen, I

didn't mean favor. What I meant was that
I think it's good for you.

and me to work together and it's a
creative thing that we can do and work

You know, it's a fun thing to do. I
can't help but just move forward because

it's really not a big deal. I just
really needed her to know that my time

valuable too. That's all and I think
we've accomplished that.

How are we doing? What's the mystery
about you? What are you hiding?

Nothing. Me and Luann went out, and we
made out. That's all.

I got it right.

Luann's a kisser. I am a kisser. We made
out.

Who? Me and you. We did?

That's hot.

I know.

Hotty.

Coming up.

All right, so don't get grossed out. Oh,
no,

now it's going to flush. Oh, my God,
there's a baby.

There's a mini turd.

We have to go to the wine and tea stop.
Where's that?

It's over here.

Oh, hello. How are you? Hello. How are
you?

Oh, it definitely smells like cheese in
here. I grew up here.

Oh, my God. You know that. You know my
family.

Okay, hold on. I've got to pick up some
cheese.

Mmm, I smell something good. What?

Smells delicious in here.

Monchego right here. Oh, I love a
Monchego.

I have a list from Colin.

That's either that you want to get?

Yeah. Colin Cowie is one of my old
friends.

How are you? Colin Cowie? How'd you find
your way here?

Dorinda! We are both good friends with
Colin Cowie.

I had sex on his sink in Saint -Tropez.
Is that true? With the artist. With my

roommate.

Colin is an incredible...

host, entertainer, events planner.

So I'm looking forward to watching him
create a really fabulous dinner party.

And he literally is at my stove cooking
the whole thing.

Oh, they're so good. Want to try San
Andres Classier Cousin? Oh, that's the

creamy triple cream. The triple cream?
Oh, my God. I love the triple cream.

That's like orgasm. It's an orgasm.

Where's the triple cream from?

France. It's from the Virgin Islands.

That's where my lover's from.

Burgundy. There's a little hotel.

It's right in town.

Frenchie's always in the picture. As
long as there's France, there'll be

Frenchie. We just told all my
girlfriends how you moved in here, and

all making jokes, like, oh, how serious
is this? Like that.

What is not their business?

Exactly. All those pictures.

I think he would ideally like me to live
in France, but between business and my

daughter, it's a little bit hard just to
say, let's go Frenchie.

All the way.

Does he have any friends?

Oh, he is the most amazing intellectual
jet -set guy. You said you didn't really

like that prince that you met, but most
of his friends are like royalty or

whatever. How do you mind a friend?

She peed on the prince. You peed on the
prince? He was actually very nice. I met

him in Spain. We hung out for a week.

He came to New York.

I peed on him.

Literally? Yeah, literally.

It's not like I make a habit of peeing
on people, but, you know, like, when am

going to have the chance to pee on a
prince again?

Listen, when you're in a hot shower,
don't you pee? Are we talking about

on people right now?

She peed on a prince. On a prince?

Yeah. I haven't peed on a prince.

I've had prince boyfriends, but I've
never peed on one.

That's clean fun. Don't judge me.

I don't judge anything.

If you're in the shower with your wife.
I'm ready to give you a trophy.

I have other ideas.

You know, what I'd like to do with a
print one.

You've been wonderful. Thanks for the
caviar advice.

Dee, you ready?

You have to pee, Lou. You have to pee.

Thank you. Is this how the pee talk
started?

That was fabulous.

All right, here we go.

Now that's a beautiful bar.

That's a beautiful bar.

But we can have a drink at home. We can
have a drink at home. We can have a

drink in the billiards room. It's nice
and cozy.

Put a fire together.

Let's take our shoesies off.

We're feeling the same way. We're back.

It's a beautiful house. It's gorgeous.

I didn't really love it like I do now.

Interesting. And I don't know what it
was before.

I don't want to give a backwards
compliment.

I try to be real all the time, and then
I get in trouble.

When keeping it real goes wrong, you
know?

Oh, look how nice.

Is that a chocolate turkey?

Mmm.

Oh, boy.

I clogged the toilet. I don't want to
tell Dorinda. I don't want to get

upset. I don't want her to rage on me.

Ugh.

Eee. So gross.

This is too good.

It's all these bubbles.

I wonder if they're going to go down.

Please work.

Please flush. Please.

Stop flushing.

I'm washed by hair forever, so I have
two washes.

Definitely in the country now.

This goes back.

Hi. Hey, you. What's going on? I stopped
at the toilet, and I actually, I don't

know. Maybe because I went, I, I.

Did you go number two?

No.

Maybe there's too much paper in it. I
don't know.

So. I had the plunger. I plunged. I
don't really know how to use a plunger.

I do.

Okay, fine. It still won't flush.

Oh, God. All right, so don't get grossed
out. Oh,

no,

now it's going to flush. Oh, my God,
there's a baby turd. There's a baby

It was the nastiest little shit I've
ever seen in my life.

Ramona is like, this is day class A, and
then, like, you let me see your shit.

Like, are you freaking kidding me,
bitch?

Ugh.

Flush.

Please, flush.

You flush. Okay.

Did you, did you, what did you do to my
toilet?

Did you sit in my toilet and plug it up?
You're lucky, because I'm constipated.

Busted. I tried.

I really did try.

You didn't use this in the toilet, did
you? No.

No, that's Kleenex for your face. Yes.

No, no. I use that with my hand to go
into the toilet and take out the dirty

tissue. Okay, that's how much I love
you. You're going to get in trouble with

me, okay? I plunge my hand in the shit.
Let me see you here.

Let me see.

That's gross. Why did you do that? Why
don't you put on gloves?

I don't have gloves.

I'm flooding.

Don't do that. It's going higher.

Okay, just let it sit.

You can use my bathroom if you need it.

Coming up.

That's amazing.

You're complimenting Luann's singing.

She does.

I'm complimenting her show.

Be nice.

Lu?

Do you know how to use this thing?

Listen, this is not the same
breathalyzer that I have. When the

approaches two, begin to inhale and
glow. Go.

I thought it would be kind of fun to
bring a breathalyzer.

Flo, that means you're not blowing
enough.

All right, let's do it again.

Let's face it, this group can get
toasty. And with a breathalyzer, they

yell at me about, what do you mean I
can't have another drink? What do you

I can't have three shots in my drink?

Now I can say, hey, breathalyzer doesn't
lie.

Analyze it.

Well, how come you get to analyze it?
Because you're a bad blower.

I'm a pro.

This is incredible, Colin.

So how's that here? We're going to add
all these other vegetables all the way

around. Okay.

And we'll walk around and snip them and
they'll open them up. You make a toast

and we have dinner.

Voila. Yay, give me a hug.

Thank you so much.

Colin Cowey has planned weddings and
events for Oprah, Michelle Obama, you

it, he's planned it. It's a game
changer, so I am...

so appreciative that he just did this
for me because he's my friend.

Is my sister here? Yay!

I brought some.

Oh, you're in there.

Oh, you know I love La Crema.

Let's go sit in the other room. Come on,
let's go sit in the other room.

Hi. I like that sex there. It is.

Oh, that's gorgeous. Thank you.

Yeah.

Just make sure the ice stays still.

What do I text the bartender from last
night? What? Why are you texting him?

I'm actually going to invite him. You
are? To come after dinner?

I don't know. I'm just going to see
what's up. Tell me about this bartender.

I mean, honestly, I was kind of tipsy.
I'm basically desperate for dick, okay?

And I'm just not even going to lie right
now.

I love myself a hot bartender.

They're basically like therapists, eye
candy, and they get you drunk.

What's not to love?

Dorinda, last night at the Red Lion Inn,
there was a very, very nice, handsome

bartender who's from up here.

I was thinking maybe you could stop by
later.

No problem.

Really? Yes.

I have a very long history at the Red
Lion Inn as a waitress, hostess, pretty

much. One of their best employees ever.
So how can I say no to a fellow red lion

-er?

That's an insider joke.

Hi, my love.

Wow! Hi.

Look who is here.

Oh, so happy you made it. Hi.

This is the wow.

Right, Len?

What's going on, yeah? Oh, the nipples.
I know. No!

Straighten up because... Well, I took my
bra off because I gained weight right

here. You feel this? Like all that back
fat?

So now it pulls it out. That's fine. You
have a good boob. Oh, okay, yeah.

They're up and alert.

Is Erica coming out to play tonight?

Erica!

Erica was my nickname when I was on Wall
Street because when I

would drink, my alter ego would come
out, and Erica's a party girl.

All right, Elise has an alter ego.

And that alter ego likes to make out
with girls.

Anyway, Elise, I really hope I get to
meet Erica tonight.

You can't handle Erica. Oh, bitch, yes I
can.

You want Erica?

Hello.

Hi, Ruth. You look so gorgeous. You look
so beautiful.

What's going on, mama?

Hey, oh my God, good to see you guys.

How are you?

Hey, baby.

Hey, oh my God.

It's great to see Heather. I haven't
seen her in ages. And I got to say,

looking really hot.

You look fabulous.

I do. I love that. You've been singing
and rocking and rolling in cabaret. Oh,

my God. It's really good. She's very
talented. Yeah. She has a down pat.

What? That's amazing.

You're complimenting Luann's singing.
She does.

She loves my show. You're complimenting
her show.

Be nice. That's clear.

No, I mean the show. Anybody can think
who could carry a show. You carried a

show. That's for sure. Never in
question.

That came out wrong. I do this all the
time.

Be careful. You're the hottest guy in
the room. You don't have a ring. Do you

have a ring?

No, no, no. Watch out. We're horny.

Okay.

We're slots at heart.

But now he's with...

Heather lives very close. I see her
quite a bit. She's great and she's a lot

fun.

Yeah, she's a fellow Berkshireite.

Listen, if you live in the Berkshires,
you kind of all know each other. It's

that kind of environment.

I got Colin tonight by trickery.

She got me drunk.

The wonderful Colin Cowie has graced us
tonight not only with a meal,

but with a fantasy.

And I cannot thank you enough. Bravo.

Thank you, Colin.

Thank you, Dorinda. Cheers.

Thank you.

What are you supposed to do with these?

Ramona, your salad's very happy to see
you.

Yes, and we have straight heart.

You ready for the symphony?

I've never seen anything like this.

Oh, my God. And now you.

I love that Dorinda's going around the
table deflowering everyone.

Do you want a vodka soda?

I'm drinking straight vodka.

No soda necessary.

Look at

this, you guys.

Gorgeous. What a rack, baby. What a
rack.

I got a rack for you.

Laptops you can eat with your hands.

Wow. Amazing.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Delicious.

The only thing I can say is tellement
delicioso.

Delicioso. Listen, rack a lamb and a hot
man. I mean, what more can a girl ask

for?

So, Ramona, how long are you married
for?

Over 20 years.

Oh, wow.

So that's a new chapter for sure. Well,
cheers to the new chapter.

Yeah. Way to go.

Yeah, I mean, I would love to find a
partner, but I'm not going to leave him

just to be.

That's why digital dating has become
such a phenomenon.

Will you put me on online dating?

Of course I will.

I'm not the top 1%. You don't need the
top 1%. Don't you want a good guy?

I'm not the average person. The average
person doesn't have two residences. They

don't travel all the time. They don't
have my social network and my entree.

So online dating is very difficult for
me. That's all.

Coming up.

So, Leah, you know why I love you?

Because you're unfiltered, but you're
confident. And you understand, know, and

own yourself. And you are a great mother
and a great businesswoman. I just

really am impressed with you. Oh, my
God.

Thank you. I'm very proud of you. I
appreciate that.

I'm very impressed by you. I really
appreciate it. Even my mother's not that

impressed by me.

Once Tizzy was out of the picture, I
really realized how much I just love

She's a mini -me.

Thank you.

With a lot more chutzpah.

I mean, I'm slightly edited.

I'm a work in progress. I'm a work in
progress.

I'm really feeling myself right now.

Can I feel yourself? You can feel
anything you want, bitch. I'm drunk.

All right. I really appreciate that.
Thank you very much.

I'm honored and I'm humbled and I don't
even know what to say.

Lee is definitely the type of girl that
Erica would have a girl crush on.

So, a kiss?

Why not?

He's about to walk to the door.

Redescribe him to me. I don't know. He's
got a cute smile. I can barely see his

face underneath all the facial hair.

He says he's into casual living.

Don't know what that means. That means I
got no money.

All right, whatever.

I don't give a... Because guess what?
Casual living.

I'm so excited to see what I'm going to
blow.

0 .19. Hold on. I'll tell you what that
means.

Gross motor impairment.

A lack of physical control.

Hi.

Hello. How are you? Good to see you. The
bartender is so cute and funny and

sweet. You guys, my friend James is...

I think it's a good thing to have one
available straight guy around. I think

he's adding to the vibe.

By the way, I don't want to intimidate
you, but I was the head waitress at Red

Lightning for 10 years.

So don't think that you know anything
about the Red Lightning. I don't know

anything.

Because I know the Red Lightning.

I am the Red Lightning. I thought you
booped last night.

I felt it. I just wanted to get real.

Mine are all...

What's that? Where'd you grow up?

I grew up. I'm still growing up,
actually. I grew up here.

My father was a telephone man.

My parents are the true bruxerites.

My great -grandparents, I said, I wait
just my whole life to get myself out of

here. I used to admire, and my great
-husband bought it for me. My

was baptized there.

My mother was baptized there. I was
baptized there. Can you put more vodka

there? This girl's an amazing girl.
She's a great mother. I want to say one

thing. I want to say to you, Dorinda,
can I stay?

Thank you.

Thank you so much. Such a wonderful
time.

I slept with the fishes and I swam with
the sea.

Last night was crazy.

Tonight I'm so happy that we're all
together and she's thick and thin. We

have each other's back and I will always
love you no matter what.

Oh, my God, you're so brave for coming
here because it's, like, crazy.

We lost the bartender because the
bartender went off on Leah.

Leah is a stealer of all things.

We can never expect to have a perfect
trip in the Berkshires, but overall, I

give it a 7 out of 10.

Listen, we're like sisters. We have to
work a lot of stuff out, and we did.

But I think the fun...

outweighs the kind of issues that may be
a little bit still lingering.

But overall, people are going to leave
on a good note.

We're always magnetized together.

I love you.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New
York City.

So I know the pain of what it's like to
have shackles on your feet and handcuffs

and the pain of the shame.

I love you.

And I actually love you. Oh, that's so
sweet.

Wait, you're just saying I love you too.

My girls got me this because, you know,
they love to do that. You love your bag.

Go with your Gucci bag over there. Okay.

All right. Forget that pocket. It's a
professional.

Get the producers here. Shut it down.

You're being psychotic.

Camera's down. We're done. We're done.
We're done.

For more on the Housewives, go to
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