Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New York City.

I'm finished today.

Thank you.

Probation is finished.

Congratulations. You can drink to that. You can drink to that. I want a man to

hold me, to love me, to want me, to be with me. You will find it.

This is actually my friend Leah. I brought her here. This is Dorinda.

Welcome. You know, I've been through hell the last couple of years.

Divorced, I've been arrested.

I've been arrested.

for what attacking a police officer oh god me too i saw you in january and a

week later you had dinner with scott it's about transparency there seems to

lot of side game going on you're calling me a liar don't think you're tricky

you're gonna be tricky with me i will win every time

i'm not always right but i'm never wrong

I'm no one's accessory. I'm the whole lifestyle brand.

I don't need to find love.

I love myself.

I may float like a butterfly, but I sting like a bit.

Life isn't a fairy tale, but I'm hoping mine's the exception.

Raise the curtain, lower the light. I'm taking center stage in my life.

killed by bikes now and get killed on bike.

It's scary.

Biking is dangerous. I won't do it. I wouldn't drive in the city. Right.

No, you drove in the city. You're doing great. What does that even mean? It

means go slowly left.

I can drive.

I mean, yeah.

There's guys that are going to try and pick us up. Let's just ignore them.

Oh.

Hot guys, though.

Oh, I'm exhausted from the stairs.

That was a workout.

I know you said rooftop, but geez.

Just before Leah comes, just, you're like my sister. We're friends.

Yeah. You keep sort of jumping on this Dorinda bandwagon of acting like you

don't know me or I'm not open or honest. Well, no, I said I know you. Dorinda

doesn't know the real you. Do we know who Tinsley is? But you do. I know you,

but you don't know her. She doesn't show you the true sides.

The thing is, she's calling me a liar, Sonia. What did she say you lied about?

Well, when she was saying that I was still with Scott when I wasn't, I mean,

wouldn't jump up. But you were. You went on a trip with him, and then you had

dinner with him after we were with you. Listen, though. Yeah? We had broken up.

We were still broken up. I wasn't in an arrangement where I was getting money

from him. Wait, don't look at me like that.

I have heard of spottings of Tinsley and Scott several times since their

breakup. So, of course, I think Tinsley's still in an arrangement with

Otherwise, she's the only woman on earth that gets more dresses, shoes, bags,

bling after the breakup. Why would I be crying over Scott if we were still

together? But I was lying to you girls and saying that we weren't. I was really

emotional. I'm sorry. Yes, we like a drink.

May I have a glass of wine, please? Thank you. What do you want?

Hi.

Hi. Well, there wasn't. Hi.

Hi. Hi. How are you? I think they thought you were not being truthful

Well, I can only say the truth so many times before I just can't. What

am I going to do?

Well, she was there. You don't need to bog her down in it. She just for some

reason turned on me. I was always friends with Dorinda. I think she

you're forthright with her. You don't really tell her what's going on. You've

been so forthcoming with me. Yeah. That's why I'm like, I don't understand.

Maybe Tinsley confides in me and Sonia because we don't call her a hooker.

If Dorinda treated me like she

treated Tinsley, I wouldn't tell the bitch what I had for lunch.

Thank you. Can I please, please wear these?

Do you want to try mine? I'm suffering.

The sun, oh my God.

Thank you. Dorinda.

implying that I'm not being truthful or honest, but I'm allowed to go back and

forth in a relationship if I want to because it's my effing life. Just

meet my ex -boyfriend Scott does not mean that we are together.

And every time that we have been back and forth and back and forth, which it

does happen all the time, I didn't think that I needed to share that with her.

Oh, by the way, Ramona did call me today.

Oh! She said, I want you to come out to the Hampton.

I think we should all plan a week in the Hampton. Then we can slumber at your

house. Good suggestion.

That's even smarter.

Let's ask you about you.

You have a tattoo?

I have a lot of tattoos.

I'm getting a big one removed on my back. What's on your back?

It's a tramp stamp.

What's it say?

My name.

It was my first tattoo. That's how when they have sex behind, they remember.

Right, that's exactly it. You don't see times like her that way too many times.

Leah has a beautiful body, and I think that says something negative about her,

that she would get tattoos. Because it's very self -defecating. No, that's on

yourself. It's sort of on yourself, but it's like self -defaming.

Well, we will never have sex. You can relieve yourself.

That's a deal -breaker for me.

And you don't have sex with men with tattoos? Never.

There's a few things in this life I'm sure of, and one of them is that Sonia

not going to kick a hot young guy out of bed because he's got a f***ing anchor

tattoo. I feel like tattoos look so creepy.

But you know I have the RLM. I have toppers initials, RLM. No one's going to

f*** you with that there. My dick would go like that.

Well, what else could it stand for? You can tell, guys, it's a really lusty

moment. Really lusty. This is for you, baby. Really lusty moment. Hey,

Len. Yes, Miss D.

Do you mind helping me pack? You do it so much better than me.

Such a weird time to go to the Hamptons because it's like hot, cold. Wow.

Isn't this very Ramona?

You know she's going to want this dress.

What do you think? With my bazoongas now?

Because I'm so big.

It's good to hear Ramona is now going to be lady of the manor overseeing the

group. I just hope that I'm in the bedroom way upstairs and that Tinsley is

the bedroom way downstairs.

This thing I never wore. What was I thinking when I bought this? What the

is this thing?

It's a good old age.

Now I'm down to this.

Hi, how are you?

Table for two. Sure.

Would you like to have some wine? Not for me, but maybe my girlfriend. I'm

to take a Diet Coke.

Sure. Thank you.

Hi.

Oh, you're so sweet. Oh, I care. Nice to meet you.

We'll take my number. Okay.

And it's Ramona.

Ramona. I'm going to ring the screw.

Okay. I got it.

Nice to meet you. You too.

How are you? I'm pretty good.

Would you pick up some guys at the bar already? No, he picked me up.

That was fast.

I'm a born flirt. I even flirt with women, okay?

If I stop flirting, then I'm dead.

Was he handsome?

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

You gave your number to a guy that you don't even know if he's handsome? He's

attractive. He's age -appropriate. Well -dressed.

Okay. Good manners.

You figured that all out in two seconds? Yeah, I did. Good manners, too. No,

good manners count, you know? I'd like to find a boyfriend.

All right, let's put it out there. No, I put it out in the universe. All right,

I'll put it out. I did a storyboard.

Oh, you did?

That's hysterical. You take a big piece of cardboard.

I put a photo of the kind of guy I like. I like to travel, so I put all these

exotic places.

You know, I don't need to be married, but I would like to have a commitment.

I put, like, a ring.

I mean, it's just a ring.

Now you're starting to sound like a serial murderer.

You know?

It's very important.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. I can't imagine what else you've got taped up on that board. She's

got dick pic, maybe.

I ordered a salad just to have it. You want to share it or you want that

yourself? No, we'll share.

What are you having?

I'm having a Diet Coke, but have a glass of that. I'll have a Diet Coke. Sure,

thank you. Sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I initially said to you it would be fun to

have a slumber party and... Right. I want to bond with you. I want you to

with everyone. I want everyone to bond together. All right. I'll definitely

on Friday.

Right. I have a room, you know, you can choose, but I do have a room that's a

big separate bathroom.

Own entrance.

Listen, I don't need to be favored, you know. Well, no. Do you want to be quiet

in a way with your own bathroom? Awesome.

You know, you're always seeking a guy there at night. No one will know. Oh,

yeah. Separate entrance.

No one will know. There you go.

I definitely don't want a repeat situation with Luann in the fish room.

Don't tell me I'm in the fish room.

Wait, what?

I mean, the room is not some... It's like the mobsters. They go, you're going

down with the fishes.

That's some fucking nerve putting me in the fish room.

So I made sure I gave her a nice room.

It's quiet.

So if we're up late and Sonia and Tinsley are going crazy until 2 in the

playing crazy music. Right. So who's coming?

Okay. Tinsley, Sonia, Dorinda.

Is Tinsley's friend coming? Is it Leah or Layla? Leah. I know she's still at

work. Leah. I really like her, actually. So what do you like about her?

One of the first things she told me is, you know, I've been arrested.

Oh, really?

It's a connection, right?

What was she arrested for, or did she not say?

Assault on a police officer.

No way.

Are you kidding me? But when she was, like, 19 or something.

Well, the fact that she was arrested like you were, she assaulted a police

officer, I mean, that right there broke the ice tremendously. That broke the ice

tremendously. That just took down all the barriers and just let it all out.

Yeah, exactly.

Let's face it. How many people get arrested? Of course they bonded over

arrest.

Oh, okay. So we are sharing.

Thank you so much. Enjoy. Have a good one.

Fabulous.

Hold on one sec. Look at the pictures that Dorinda sent me.

Oh, okay. That melts my heart.

Okay? Because it was really sad when you two just had this discord.

And that's what I'm really hoping that this weekend that we can all come

together as a group. All right. Here's to a fun weekend. Just enjoying each

other's company as girls as girls.

Here's to being back.

Yeah, being back. Being back to Lou.

Coming up.

My chiropractor said only drink clear alcohol. Yeah. The wine is poison.

Meanwhile, pass the rosé.

Okay, girls, this is your healthy food.

I know we were vegan at the shelter, but you're not vegan now.

So we just eat turkey.

We're just going to be ham -fed now.

I went to China this past summer to go help with rescues, and Strawberry and

Shortcake had been rescued off of this dog meat truck, and I had to come home

with them.

Shortcake, you need to eat something.

The hard thing is that they speak Chinese, and I have to learn how to

Chinese in order to communicate with them.

Translator, wait.

Good girl.

Here.

That's me. Good girl.

No.

Can you take this one?

Take that one. I got it.

Yay!

We are ready!

Fancy lady.

Not really.

I mean, I have my sweats. I want your fancy.

Oh my, is that Marley? That's Marley, right? You don't recognize him because

his mask.

Tanya, is that another dog in your bag?

Looks like roadkill, right?

I just brought all my hair.

You brought flowers? Because you knew I didn't. Yeah, I brought flowers and I

brought the vibrator. Oh, thank God.

Look how pretty the colors are.

Yeah. Gorgeous, right? Yeah, I know.

Yeah, fall is around the corner, though. Look, when they start turning purple,

you know it's time to whip out the sweaters.

All right, I'm going to go and pack. I've got to go to Ramona's. Really?

Can you believe it, Alice? Wow.

I'm leaving my house to go and stay at Ramona. Why?

That's a very good question, Alice.

Party, party.

Party, party.

Come on. I got the food. Not for you. For the girls and me.

It's all room temperature, which is good.

I can serve it.

Whatever time everyone gets here.

Oh, yeah.

That looks so good.

Coco, would you like a carrot?

Sweetie?

Coco?

Coco?

Come here.

Would you like a carrot, honey?

At this point, Coco's all I got at home.

And she can't hear me. I mean, listen, some of these men, I don't want them to

listen to me or hear me. But Coco, come on.

Listen up.

What's your ETA, for goodness sake?

No one's telling me anything.

Where do you, how do you want to sit?

You want to, yeah, you want to sit there. Okay.

I'm going to sit here.

Oh, my God. No, I packed so messy because I was rushing.

I got this, like, really weird.

cough and stuff and I don't want to lose my voice. What are we going to do if I

can't speak?

No, we need to get you better.

The last time you saw Dorinda, she said some wild ass shit. Some wild stuff.

She's on your dick. She's just on me.

She's on it.

Listen, I survived going to an all -girl Catholic school on the Upper East Side,

so I can handle petty and mean and catty and all that, but...

I am on their turf this weekend, so I'm going to be on high alert.

If I can talk.

You might be screaming.

I'll be like doing like hand signs, like writing notes. Not as powerful as you'd

be like, hold on.

Yeah, bitch.

Tell me what happened with Tinsley the other night at your cocktail dinner. I

just had fun joshing this girl she introduced us to.

I got to try to get to know her this weekend.

I probably didn't give Leah a fair chance because she was Tinsley's friend.

So I will try harder to not be so judgmental because I

shouldn't do guilt by association.

You think I'm going to like her? You're going to have her say three Hail Marys.

What's that mean, have her say three Hail Marys? Well, she has a Triumph

on her. I told Ramona, it's her name. This girl, she has tattoos everywhere.

I'm not into tattoos. If Avery or my daughter got a tattoo, I would, oh, my

I'd be, I'd die. I'd have a heart attack.

I'd say, oh, so when I'm having sex, they'll know my name if I get a trip. I

mean, who has a name on their backside?

But this girl is gangster.

All right, I think everything's done.

Darwin, I don't know where they are.

Darwin. We are here, we are here, we are here.

Gorgeous.

Oh, yeah, let the party start. I'll do my own party.

Hello.

Well, hello. I'm back to have a party by myself.

Where are you?

Oh, you got my favorite color, yellow flowers.

Look what Dorinda got you. I love it. Oh, my God. It's a frozen machine.

Dorinda always has fun gifts. Last year, she brought me these mermaid outfits.

Yay!

Back it up. Back up.

And this year, she brought me a frosé, which is for rosé, frozen rosé. Love it.

Oh, my God, Ramona, this looks amazing.

These are the first two to arrive, my favorite two. Come on, outside now.

bring this out. Bring this out for me.

I'm excited about having a glass of Pinot Grigio or nine.

My chiropractor said only drink clear alcohol.

Yeah. The wine is poison.

Meanwhile, pass the rosé.

Sometimes I just have to pick my poison, don't I?

I think I'm going to drink my vodka. Here, that's for you.

You drink vodka? You don't drink wine anymore. That's why I looked at my

Now I've got to look at that.

Hello.

There she is.

Hi. I'm sorry.

Sorry I'm late. No, it's perfect. My neck was killing me. Hey, girl.

Hi. We were just saying how fabulous you are.

Oh, you were? Oh, that's nice.

Yes, you're in a great space.

Hi.

Oh, I'm so happy you're safe.

That's the first. This is the first. A slumber party in Manhattan.

Victoria goes, where are you going, Mom? I said, I'm having a sleepover at

Ramona's. She goes, no way.

Weirdest things have happened. That's for sure.

Mommy's been married, divorced, and arrested.

And now you're sleeping at Ramona's? What's wrong with you? What is going on?

Coming up.

I don't talk to people with tattoos.

What? Wait. What? She knows your name, which is amazing. And if she forgets it,

you just turn around and bend over.

How are we going to carry all this?

Can Marley go down? Because I want to sit down. Yeah, he smells really bad. He

hasn't been to the groomer. Well, then you have to take him off so he can sit

over there. Listen, Coco doesn't mind him. I don't know what you're up to.

it's so nice.

It's nice. It's like clean and nice.

Hello?

Hi!

Hey, we got here!

Hey, how are you? Okay, go talk, go talk. Hi, how are you?

Good. Thanks so much for having me.

You're always welcome. Any friend of hers is a friend of mine. I'm very

inclusive, just so you know. How are you? I had a cough last night. Remember

had this cough when you came to my house? I know. Hi, how are you? Nice to

you. All right, so I'll show you your room.

When it comes to Kinsey this weekend, I want to do the see no evil, hear no

evil. Well, I can't say speak no evil because that always happens.

Green room.

I mean, I love this room.

Yeah, it's pretty. It's so pretty.

I'm the kind of person, when you're at my house, free access to everything.

Everything. You want to go in the refrigerator. You want a snack.

Thank you. Whatever you want. Just make yourself welcome. I still appreciate

that. Yeah. I have a little gift for you that I want to get. That's in the car.

Oh, that's so unnecessary, but so sweet. No, of course. So you're in the chill

room. So it's a twin bed. I'm sorry.

All right. And then you have your girlfriend right next to you. So there

Okay, perfect. Well, thank you, girl.

Is this the basement?

It's the lower level.

Okay. So we're calling it the lower level.

Give me a break. A basement is a basement.

So you have a whole area, this big TV to hang out if you wanted to. Perfect.

Besides everything else we have in the house, this could be your own separate

area. Uh -huh. And this is another room. It's like putting me in the attic and

calling it the penthouse.

What happened to the house? I'm going to be so happy.

We're going to have the nicest room in the house. What happened to that?

I said you'd have privacy.

I'm always last on the totem pole when it comes to rooms when we go on

together. The lack of Ramona's consideration is just mind -blowing.

I just saw it.

I don't want to kill it, so I'm going to try to get it quickly.

I wanted to ask you, how do I adjust the air conditioning downstairs?

It's too cold.

You can't.

What do you mean I can't?

I don't know. It's just, it's too cold. It's like 70 degrees.

It's cold.

Why can't you turn it off?

And there's a blanket. No, I know, but I don't want to sleep with air

conditioning. I just don't sleep with air conditioning.

Okay, I'll figure it out.

Unbelievable.

Okay, so it's easier access.

I'm going to put the wine right in here.

Leah doesn't drink.

Yeah, she doesn't drink. No, no, right.

That's how she and Luann bonded. They both went to prison.

No, they both were arrested.

So was I, remember. They both were arrested and they both don't drink.

Yes. So there you go. Exactly.

Come on.

I've got some nerve.

What's up?

I can talk now. I'm not going to be able to talk for a while.

What's up?

No.

I don't think so.

Bluestone Manor flooded. So I had to go through the house and just rip out the

whole heating system. Rip out the whole duct system.

The whole electrical system. And I'm so overwhelmed because I have to deal with

so many moving parts all day, every day, and then do my normal life.

You know, I'm trying to get everything done and stressed out all the time.

It just seemed to never end. The questions, the phone calls, the

values, the estimate, the claims, nonstop.

Now it just really puts me, you know, it's going to...

Okay. Bye -bye.

Two. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you.

All right, I am going to go and bring this down.

Where are you? I'm going to go down to the kiddie room downstairs.

Oh, no. I'm in the basement.

I'm in the basement.

Hey,

babe. I'm coming up to see you.

I was about to come see you. You want to hang out down here? Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to put a little rosé on the table. Have a little wine with me.

I don't know who it is, Sonia. I'm just not myself today. What's going on?

What's going on?

I don't know.

I just feel, like, overwhelmed every call that I get. I'm like, it's just

overwhelming. I've got to get my shit together.

You've got a lot on your plate. You have a flood at the Berkshires, so it's like

more of a labor than a law. I just got a call. I just got a call. The thing has

gone over by another $15 ,000.

I don't want to cry, but I do.

And, you know, like I really, I'm doing everything and nothing well. You know

that feeling?

I just don't have anybody. I'm not a whinger at all.

But, you know, every once in a while I think, I just wish I had someone that

could step in and say, I'm going to make it all better. And you can just forget

and be that carefree person again.

There's nothing carefree about me anymore.

Coming up.

I totally have a voice. Don't make generalizations about me. You're making

generalizations about me.

I just wish I had someone that could step in and say I'm going to make it all

better. There's nothing carefree about me anymore.

I'm not nice to anybody.

My mother said it to me. You're wound too tight.

It's not healthy.

I feel the same anxiety I felt after Richard died.

Like you don't know who to turn to, where to turn to, because it's so big.

You don't have Richard to make your life carefree anymore. I get it. It doesn't

make John any less of a man. It's just different with John.

John has never been married.

John's never been a real grown -up. I mean, he says he runs a business and all

that, but, you know, it's different to run homes and run children.

It's not that I can't lean on John. John wants to be as helpful as he can.

But you remember, John has never had responsibilities like this.

There's only one person I can have a discussion with about everything now,

it's myself.

Every day, it's another, like, 15 ,000, 20 ,000. How could you do everything

well when there's just too many balls in the air? How can you catch them all?

I'm just always... I don't know. I'm always worried. And you're doing it for

everybody else.

For Dorinda to say she's been mean to people, this is big. When she blows up,

she can really rip you a new one.

And she's actually admitting that right now.

Hi, Linda.

Hi. Hey.

What's the matter?

She's having a cry.

You're having a cry? What's the matter?

I just feel nerved up all the time.

Overwhelmed. She's spread too thin.

Obviously. But from doing what?

It's the house and the brochures. It's renovating the... Her new apartment. My

new apartment. She said she's not being the nicest person recently. No, I said

I'm just tired all the time. I go to bed and I feel like I'm not getting ahead.

Oh my gosh, that's so sweet. I love everything by Jo Malone. How'd you know?

Lucky guess, I guess.

I love candles.

You don't understand. I love candles.

Thank you. That was so considerate. No, really, seriously. That was so

thoughtful. Thank you. And tell me about your hat. Is that a fashion statement?

Because I can't quite figure it out. I knew someone was going to bring it up. I

just saw it online, and I was like, I like this. Because I love bucket hats.

It's interesting.

I can't, I don't know if I could pull it off. It's something my daughter would

make fun of me for wearing. You know what I mean?

And wait, I know that you were in the fashion business. Yeah, I was a buyer

Macy's. Wow, okay. And then I opened up my own company when I was about.

30. And I was on my own since I was 16.

Wow. My parents basically threw me out at 17. Not that I didn't deserve it. I

kind of did. But they were like, bye.

You need to figure yourself out. Were you doing drugs or alcohol?

Yeah, all that.

And you were doing that because?

I was so rebellious. I was so angry that we moved from New York to Connecticut.

I was so depressed about it. How old were you when you moved? 13.

But you know what? In hindsight, I think it actually, like, having to deal with

all this.

Adversity kind of gave me, like, the perseverance to, like, have my own

You know what I mean? Like, who knows, like, what life has in store for us. All

right, I like your attitude.

Yeah. All right, we'll go outside.

Wow, this girl's okay. But you know what? Her hat, I'm not sure if it's

All right, girls, just so you know, we're leaving here at 7 o 'clock.

Do you want to take a nap? Yeah, what time is it? 5.

It's in the fridge. Okay.

Is that a hat or a sun visor? It's a hat.

Flash sun visor.

Ramona. What?

You're the fashion critic. No, me and Ramona already had a discussion about my

hat. You're not a... It's interesting.

I care if someone is criticizing my character, but if you criticize my

don't care.

Touché.

Is touché the correct thing to say?

Yeah, touché, I agree.

Touché is when you catch someone in a snafu, not when you say something you

agree with. I actually don't know. You were supposed to say word.

So if she said something Ramona agrees with she's supposed to say no because no

one can believe that I agree with her. How do I agree with a woman with

I don't need it that way.

This is nuts.

It's not like I have a penis tattooed across my forehead or a gun tattoo on my

neck. I have pretty little cute tattoos.

I have a Chanel tattoo.

I feel like everybody has tattoos. It's not like a weird thing anymore. No,

nobody has tattoos. Neither this group has a tramp stamp.

I'm not sure what a tramp stamp is.

But it doesn't sound very nice.

I don't talk to people with tattoos.

What? I don't even. But I talk to them. Wait, what? She knows your name, which

is amazing. And if she forgets it, you just need to turn around and bend over.

That's touche.

Turn around and bend over.

We just met. That is rude.

Do you ever leave your little 1 % Upper East Side bubble?

Ever?

First of all, you talk to me, and this is Robert Livingston.

Very subtle.

She has one on the back door. You have one on the front door. Yeah, exactly. I

have to take my nap if I'm going out today.

Go, go, go. You know me. I won't make it. You need to rest your voice, by the

way. I know, I do. You need to, like, rest your voice. I'm going to chill out

for a little bit. Okay.

How does Dorinda know that I have my name on my back?

I told her everything.

I told Dorinda everything.

Well, at least you're honest.

Oh, I'm unfiltered. You can always trust me to, like...

things up but also i'll tell you the truth really like i'm not with her like

not with the comments like that everyone is being crazy about tattoos get over

it everybody has tattoos nowadays i'm not here to get done by her really i'm

i'm not the one right right right all right i'm going upstairs now no one is

like don't go don't go but no i think that was good now you three talk

Okay, no one's like, you know what? Okay, this is not like when I hang out

my friends, my other friends, and my daughter's friends. They, like, they

up everything and do everything.

I didn't hire someone for today. Okay, well, I'll help.

It's really beautiful in here. I'm going to help you, like.

Yeah, I'm going to help you. Just bring all these stuff in.

I'm not doing anything yet. Just bring it all in.

I mean, I loaded the dishwasher.

There's another dishwasher.

I'm just, I'm not doing anything.

I'm going to go.

It's okay. All right. You'll pick it up later.

Oh, these girls. These girls. They don't know how to entertain.

They don't have to... I mean, really?

Coming up... So you don't feel you've been angry with Aaliyah? A, I could

recognize this girl in the lineup, which she probably was in.

Hi, my love.

How was school? Because Blake texted me saying that you were upset and I was

like having a breakdown about it. I have no one in my class.

You have Jessica in your class.

Jessica already has another friend. I don't want to like... You don't get it.

It's still not the same.

No, believe me, I do get it. And that's very disappointing. So there's like no

other kids in your class that you like? No, I hate everyone.

Honey, I don't know if you have a choice. You might have to make the best

I understand what it's like if someone says, you don't fit in with us. In

Catholic school, I was like the weird girl that lived downtown, and I'm all of

sudden that again.

All right, well, it's the first day. Let's see how it goes, okay?

Yeah. I'm figuring something out.

I love you.

Bye. Love you. Little baby.

I love you.

Love you. Bye. Love you more.

No, hang on. Love you more. Love you more. Bye. Love you more. Bye.

Okay.

Why did you have to tell Dorinda about... What did I tell Dorinda? About

tattoo and stuff. Because I thought it would be shocking and funny, because I

wanted to kind of... I wanted to tell Leah, like, her, because it seemed like

Dorinda was sort of being mean to her about the tattoo.

Dorinda told me she's got a lot on her plate, and she's very angry, and she's

been taking it out on people.

She did that, okay?

You can't make excuses for people, like, being mean to people.

No, I want to be there for Dorinda right now because she is going through a

rough time. Oh, my God. You're fine. You have Princess Leah. But I also have

you, and you're also my friend. And Dorinda's your friend.

She's just been bitchy recently.

Hi.

Oh, my God. I love the looks of that.

We're talking about how to get comfortable with each other right now

they're friends.

Hold on a second. The only person who's making things uncomfortable is not her.

Not me. She's in a very bad spot. She said to me.

She said she's in a bad place. Guess what? She said she's being mean to

right now. I'm in a f***ing bad place, too. I miss my kid. I found out that she

had a bad day at school.

I'm dealing with a lot of s***, too. She's been bitchy, she said.

She admits it. I'm going to just be there for Dorinda. I know that she's in

tough place right now.

So I want to protect her.

All right, we're going to get ready. See you in a minute.

Okay, bye.

Thanks for fixing my lashes. Bye.

What? Like, what's happening?

Be careful knocking so much. Tell her about how you feel because she's going

run right over you.

Oh, my God.

Maybe I need to tell her to shut up. She won't.

Good luck.

Good luck.

Doreen? Yeah? Do you have a hairbrush? I forgot my brush. I sure do.

Oh, your room smells so good.

Look at you.

All right, girls.

You all ready?

Coming. Did you bring my bag?

Look at that, Ramona. We both have bell bottoms on. Hey, wait. I want this

toilet sheet. For the first time, because I'm usually like this.

Now I'm like, wow.

So I go down to do my eyelashes with Tinsley, and you said you were going to

make it nice with Aaliyah.

Okay, what did I do?

She says, Dorinda told me, well, nobody in this group has tattoos. And I go, she

didn't say that.

I said, none of us have tattoos, but we don't.

When I was growing up, people with tattoos were going to kidnap you.

My mother told me that, and I believed her. So you don't feel you've been angry

with her? Can I say something? A, I could barely recognize this girl in the

lineup, which she probably was in. And second of all, I haven't heard her

So I could neither recognize her visually or whatever this is called.

Yeah. No, I get it.

Oratorially.

Let's rock and roll.

Duran? We're coming.

Okay. boy i took a nice nap you did oh i was gonna i didn't say anything let's

go i mean i i understand you told uh sonia that you have a short fuse you can

have a short fuse all you want it's just a fact she doesn't have a tattoo she

doesn't have a tattoo it wasn't about the tattoo it was more about the if

someone doesn't remember your name you can just bend over and they can look at

it okay well sonia said the same thing I thought it was funny.

Sorry. Well, I think it's your delivery.

I'm sorry. You know what I mean?

Well, talk to me about it. There's a lot of possibility.

No, there's not. Of course there is. I thought it was funny. Didn't you? I

missed it. Oh, my God. She said you have a tramp stamp on your back, so when

people are f***ing you, they know who you are. You know, that's what Sonia

And I said, it's a little hostile.

There's a hostility right now. I actually do.

Well, you know what, Sonia, once again, well, job well done.

Yeah, good try, Sonia. You were not helping the situation at all.

Can I talk to you a voice?

I totally have a voice. But you haven't taken the time to talk to me. All right,

can we talk? Can we continue later?

I just feel like we haven't had that many conversations. Absolutely. So don't

make generalizations about me. You're making the generalizations about me.

I couldn't pick you out in a lineup.

I don't even know what that means. I don't know you. I don't feel like you

like to get to know me. I hope I'm wrong. Why don't we do it over dinner?

Let's start over.

You're coming with me and Louie.

Where do you want me?

You're going to be with me and Leah.

My underwear is in a twist. What else is new?

Jesus Christ.

Come on, Tim.

Sonia, what did you tell me?

Oh, my God.

I might end up drinking.

I know. No, no, no. It's not the answer. It's not. Drinking would make things

really crazy.

I think you guys got off on the wrong foot.

I mean, what happened?

Sonia was talking to Tinsley and me, and I said that I thought it was stuff that

she said it. And then Sonia went back and told her.

Which is fine with me because it's nothing I wouldn't say to Dorinda.

But, like, I literally haven't had a conversation with her and just didn't

to bring it up right now.

Aye, aye, aye.

But aside from that, going great.

Coming up.

Are you here or are you sort of here? I got a lot of friends, but okay, so do I.

You're not being present. Just be present with us.

Thank you.

Smart to wear flats.

What? Smart to wear flats.

I've been to a smaller tutu or something. Me too. I only know the

This is amazing.

I love it. Oh, I love this place. Roger Grease.

Ramona. Ramona. Hi.

Oh, my God.

This is my face. I love it. You're funny.

I know.

Ramona thinks she's socializing, but you're not a social light.

You're social fucking heavy.

Hi, Ramona. Hi.

Christina, lovely to see you. How are you?

Hi. Do you see I'm here? I come here all the time. I know the maitre d'. I know

the manager.

Oh, my God. My other girlfriend.

Hi. What can you do for me? Well, I'll tell you what I can do for you.

It's like, why don't you move to L .A.? That's what they do over there. This is

New York. Act like a New Yorker. So, why don't you come here? So, I just ran

into my girlfriend. How funny is that? Come inside.

Liz, what kind of water would you like to drink?

I want... Oh, God. Yeah.

My other bra was too tight.

You don't have to flash the waiter.

I need a snatch card, I need a boob card. Can you make a mocktail for me?

cetriola looks good. Yeah? Is it light?

Cucumber juice, elderflower.

Oh, that sounds good.

So we want virgin cetriola. It's nice to have a wingman who's confident enough

to order a mocktail because it's tough to be around all these ladies drinking

all weekend.

Here we go.

We also need hot water, lemon and honey for my friend Tinsley because she can't

speak. I'm hoping this helps my voices.

Thank you very much.

All right. So I wanted to make a toast. This year has been

like the roughest thing that I've ever been through in my life. Yeah, we can

it down for a sec.

You know, it's like a volcano.

erupted and all the ashes came out and I was so busy taking care of myself

that I didn't realize that the ashes also fell on you guys. Do you know what

mean? You got hit with the ashes too because it became where the dust came on

you and you didn't know what to do, how to react.

Do I drink? Do I not drink?

And I didn't realize how much it really did weigh on you guys too. Do you know

what I mean? Because I was so busy trying to take care of myself and as I'm

going through this recovery and healing and renewal.

I realized I wanted to make amends to you all and say how much I love you and

that you too.

It's not been easy. It's been a whole ride, and thank you for being with me.

New and improved Lou.

Definitely something had to be said.

Otherwise, it was like the elephant in the room, and I'm so glad that she had

the respect to do that for us.

Excuse me.

What is this?

This is the octopus, right? Oh, this is nice. You want some of this? It's

unbelievable. Here. Just one little scoop. I'm dying to try this. This is

best thing you've ever had.

My girlfriend, Lori.

Hey, Lori. Where are you?

So come over and say hello. Come over.

Are you here or are you sort of here floating? No, I'm seeing everyone. My

friends are crying. I know, but you're here with your friends here. I've got a

lot of... I know, but okay, so do I, so does she.

But tonight we're having a dinner together.

She just told me. I think it's rude.

I feel like I'm being ignored.

Yeah, we are. You're not being present. Just be present with us. That'd be

great. I am present.

I mean, even your chair is like facing outward. Just like, you know, I'm kind

embraced toward her.

Oh. Her new best friend.

My new best friend. One of my best friends.

My best friend.

I am social. I have a problem.

I'm not.

I'm too social.

I got a problem, doctor.

How can we fix it?

How can you socialize too much, okay? I'm a single woman. I don't have a man

my life. I need to be social.

I mean, get over it.

I like to have my friends meet new friends. You know, replacements,

Not replacements. You said we're old and dying. You want younger friends. You

know what? Sonia, you talk to a double mouth.

I think Sonia, Sonia, I need you. I think Sonia was stirring the pot this

afternoon. No.

I think Leah misunderstood you.

Dorinda does want to get to know you. You don't stir the drink, you stir the

pot. No, I don't. Look at that smirk on her face. Look at that. Look at her

smirk. Next time, I will just speak to Dorinda directly. That's good. There you

go. Right.

I'm not that offended by the tramp stamp comment. It's not the worst thing that

someone's ever said to me.

But, Dorinda girl, I got my eye on you now.

It's going to be gone soon, so enjoy the tramp stamp while it's here.

I love it.

She's the one that talked about your tramp stamp. I know. She's obsessed with

tramp stamps and my tattoos. I don't need a tramp stamp to be a tramp, okay?

I love it.

I was unfair in my judgment of Leah. She seems to hold her own, which I like.

Tattoos and all.

So, did you scope out the room for us?

Scope out the room?

Do you want me to?

I count on you girls to scope the room. I'm good at scoping. I know.

Okay, I'll do a lap.

Go, do a lap. I'm going to do a lap.

Are you going to do a lap? You would think by now that the whole town must

Ramona's digits.

Go and check out the room, Ramona.

She puts on her Ramona costume with the tit plate out and goes out like to

war.

Let's go out the room for us. You're looking good.

She's unbelievable, bitch. Look at her go.

There she goes. Oh, my God.

I need Ramona to lay up the shot.

God help those men in there.

Next, I'm on The Real Housewives of New York City.

After 24 hours, we've already gotten her to drink. Nervous?

Just because we're in a $30 million house, you don't have to act like a $39

million bitch. I was acting very fancy.

I feel like a sexy man.

Oh, what's going on?

I was never a trophy wife. I'm not arm candy.

I don't shave my pussy.

You proclaim you love me, but I know that's not true. Good night from the

lower level.

For more on The Real Housewives, go to BravoTV .com.