Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New York City.

I saw her. She said, is Bethany here? I said, no, she had to go over a bridge.

It's like a lot to watch her sleep.

Why is she constantly making these digs at me?

At 11 o 'clock at night, the child is sleeping. This is my life. Guess what? I

was not thinking about anybody but yourself.

How are you?

Good, and you?

Oh, really? She's going to leave us to talk to Harry?

Does Ramona want Harry? Harry loves me. I didn't know you were an item these

days. We never said that.

So the other night when I was at Seville, we were discussing it would be

nice for all seven of us to go away. So I found this house.

Amazing. It's very Miami.

That's gorgeous.

Yes, I love it.

I plead guilty to being fabulous.

The only thing I'll settle for is more.

People call me over the top, but lately, I prefer being a bottom.

Game set.

Now, I need a match.

When life gives me limes, I make margaritas.

If you got a problem with me, it's your problem.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one -horse

open sleigh.

Oh, yeah.

We love our sleighs here.

Christmas is everything.

I love Christmas, and to do a Christmas show is a thrill for me. The cabaret

show is one thing. This is Christmas in cabaret. How fabulous is that?

Well, hello, Dolly.

Oh, my God, Sonia. No way.

No way. Here comes trouble. This is my neighborhood. This is your neighborhood.

Oh, my God. What a surprise.

Sonia. Hi, darling.

Send me a dance.

You're spending all your time with Luann.

I'm in the neighborhood. I want to drop in.

And surprise Luann, because it must get boring after a while just to be with the

same entourage and not see a girlfriend.

Chris, I thought you went to get coffee.

I'm post -mating him.

Post -mate? Yeah. That's expensive.

We have no budget for that.

You better watch that guy.

Come on, girls. In situations like this, you just have to be cool. And don't be,

like, all uncool.

At the real show, her delivery's much better.

It's being a cool besides Sonia Morgan. I'm being very cool. We have to keep our

voices down. Thank God you're here.

I'm a Sagittarius, I just have to say.

You know, I just don't want to see you fail after all the success.

Since the minute Sonia walked in, she has not stopped talking.

It's cabaret.

Hey, Billy.

We're going to L .A. I don't know anything about that.

She was like so psychedelic.

Incessantly. I have all I can do to control my outfit and my hair. Your

is coming right out.

Well, I'd rather see that than somebody's dick hanging out.

I didn't touch anything.

The guy didn't even get the coffees. Oh, but I said, what is going on with her?

You think that's a good line, Lou? I'll let you get your Christmas jollies off.

You know, if it's just me, why do I have to offer three -ply toilet paper?

I love that. Blue sticks and glitter. her baby.

Chris, take Sonia on the hall to run lines. She doesn't have any lines. We

actually do have to keep going on because we'll lose time in the

Okay, cafe latte. All right, Dawn, we got to finish this. Okay, let's go.

I didn't even invite Sonia to the rehearsal. She showed up. She surprised

So if you're going to surprise me, then shut the duck up.

No, but this is just one drop in.

I can do it for you every day.

Live right there. Dear diary, Dorinda apparently didn't get enough love for

introduction to Giovanni.

Do you guys like my new dress?

Giovanni! Giovanni! Thank you, Giovanni!

So, in humble appreciation for the gift that keeps on giving, I'd like to

present my friend, Dorinda Medley, with the first annual Giovanni Award for

Magnanimous Glamour.

I am so against this. The whole problem started with Luann talking about

Dorinda. during her cabaret. I heard some rustling up in the back. I think

worried. There's a joke in there somewhere. It might be Dorinda cutting

dresses. This is the first time we're going back to see Luanne at her cabaret.

All of us. Even if she thinks this is a nice thing to do for Dorinda, no, don't

go there. I wouldn't tread on a light wall. No, it's not about that. I want to

surprise her. She won't even say Giovanni anymore. I can do whatever I

you know what? Dorinda needs to get a sense of humor.

Ah, how are you?

Thank you.

So nice.

Do you like my outfit?

Mrs. Glass meets Marilyn Monroe.

Everybody knows that there's the tree lighting at Rockefeller Center, but this

is like the smaller, more intimate, more sort of VIP version of tree lighting.

And it's by invite only.

Well, the first hit of the night. That's all you get.

When they asked me to do it, I was really honored because it's actually

a really, it's a real iconic New York moment. Hi, John.

How are you? Looking hot.

Thank you.

Hi. Hi. Hi, hi, hi. Is Luann here?

I just saved her on a Dorinda whoops. She was going to do something that I

thought you would take the wrong way because it's Lou's own. Everything's

Lou and her show.

She was going to do it all around.

The country.

Oh, God. You would have heard about it. Something about you in the show.

Yeah, something like that. I don't think she should be allowed to do anything. I

don't know if she's not going to talk about me in the show anymore, but I

to my lawyer. That's another thing. So, yeah.

It doesn't matter if it's nasty, if it's nice, if it's funny, if it's whatever.

I don't want to be in your cabaret.

And if you can't appreciate it, I'll get a lawyer's letter to appreciate it.

Tell her.

What you told me Luann said. So Luann, when she came to Barbara's place, the

clay place, she said that when she was with you working on the cabaret show,

that you were like manic. And so she was asking like if you were on pills or

something. Do you find that Sonia's like really uppity or is it just me?

It's like, you know, she's like.

I saw her at your house in Kingston. And I rode home with her for two hours.

Well, at the restaurant, she was screaming.

Oh, at the restaurant. She was with the alcohol and whatever else. Is there

something else? Maybe she is taking something else. I don't know. That's

I'm wondering.

She's been very diva -like. She makes comments about everyone now. Just sort

like off the cuff. Well, she should have said to you guys that I'm manic and

that I was like stealing the, you know, sucking the air out of the room.

Oh,

this is rich.

I have Luanne. asking if I'm on pills.

Okay, you go to a few AA meetings, and now what? You are an expert on people

with substance abuse?

You know what? Stay in your lane, Luann. There she is, Jill!

How are you? Congratulations.

What an honor.

What an honor.

Did you get this from your house in the Berkshires? No, I got it. Hello,

Christmassy girl.

You match the tree.

Oh, look at this.

Yeah, you look great. I'm excited about Miami, that's for sure. I am too.

You know, I'm just excited to walk outside and not freeze.

Who doesn't have fun in Miami?

You have the sun, you have the water, you have men, all kinds of men. So, hey,

it's a win -win in every way.

I don't want my name in your show. I don't want. I really don't. I only talk

about you in a nice way. Oh, really? I'm in the back room ripping up Giovanni

dresses. Well, that was funny. No, it wasn't. It was funny. It wasn't. How did

you get there? Are you forgetting? I don't forget it.

Oh, my God. I cannot believe you still hold a grudge. No, I don't. I'm asking

you. Who brought you? You brought me there. And so?

Are you ready?

This is pretty fab. Amazing.

Just be nice about it.

Say thank you so much. I don't want you to do it.

What is this, the case of Jaws Vani?

Just when I thought it was safe to walk in the water, out come the Jaws. Promise

her that you won't talk about her. That's all. That's it.

You have to send a lawyer's letter. She's giving you that look.

No, I'm not talking about you.

Luann isn't quite grasping what Dorinda wants to say, but it's pretty loud and

clear. Luann is using Dorinda to get laughs in her show.

And Dorinda has had enough of it. Life is a cabaret. Get used to it. It's not

cabaret, though. It's not mine.

It's my cabaret show, and I can talk about whatever the hell I want to. I'll

take care of it.

But we have something more important. We need the light to train. Oh, God.

Let's do this.

Yes,

Dorinda! If you know anything about Dorinda Medley, you know that she loves

Christmas.

And with that said, I think we all need to count down to light this beautiful

Christmas tree. Do it with me.

Three, two, one!

Yay!

We made it light!

I wish I could fit this tree in my house. Maybe I should have a tree

Bluestone Manor.

Lou Anne, get in!

I'm in.

Bitch, I...

Your face off.

Hannah. Well.

Hannah, Hannah, Hannah.

It was a rehearsal.

We'll talk about it. First of all, it's not pills.

What is it then? Happiness.

Happy pills.

No, just happiness.

Of course she's taking something. I mean, who's not taking something?

You're a manic pot stirrer is what you are. You're a cabaret star. She comes to

my show and then she goes to tell Dorinda, you know, that I'm talking

in my show. Did you tell her? Did you tell her?

Dorinda, did you tell her it was good stuff about Dorinda?

Give me that.

No, they told me bad things that you said about me.

I didn't say bad things about you. I said that I was worried about you

you're acting manic.

Manic? So there. I'm happy.

Are you on there for cards?

Not manic.

I'm happy.

Coming up, I'm interested to see.

how she's going to handle Miami, and she's going to want to be the queen bee

there. We're going to have an issue.

Oh,

my

gosh. I can't believe this is happening.

Hi. Wow.

What is this outfit?

You like my outfit? It's over the top. You look great, but at least you're not

looking 75 or 90, which I am. I have my 90 -year -old back. I got my 75 -year

-old hat.

Sonia's wardrobe is a delightful combination of Leona Helmsley, Ivana

Falcon Crest. This is great.

Oh, it's gorgeous. Oh, look at this leopardy thing.

Wow, don't wait for me, girls.

I know. We said when you come, we'll talk. We want to shop now. Well, because

might have things to talk about. This is a great source. Thank you. So how was

last night? Was it outside?

Yeah, but it was warm last night, and I wore a long coat.

You look great. It was just festive.

You weren't at the clay thing.

No, I was sick. So what happened there?

Well, I texted that I was going to be late.

Hi. I texted you I was going to be late. I know. And now you're early.

I'm not early. I'm 15 minutes late. No, but you and I are the only ones here.

You're kidding. No.

So you guys all showed up, let's call it an hour and 15 minutes after like 6 .45

or whatever time. Late. Yeah, but it's not my problem. I don't care if you show

up. So I said.

I'm going home now to finish the tree.

I'm going back to decorate the tree. I left Brynn. You just got here. I didn't

get here. I got here an hour ago. You guys were all late.

Whatever. I feel like I'm constantly explaining myself to Luann about my

parenting style.

I mean, she did the same thing to you at Halloween. She gets me defensive,

though. I go, well, you got here an hour late, but I don't care when she gets

there. No, she's not even thinking that far ahead. She's just doing Lou from her

throne. I don't want you talking about me on your show. She said, I'll do

whatever I damn well please.

I said, well, no, you won't, because I'll get my lawyer involved. I heard

Tinsley that she had this whole gripe about me. She was complaining about my

manic behavior, which I've been this way my whole life. I have ants in the

pants. She was saying that you're acting like you're on pills.

That's not nice.

I tried to warn Luann at her new home upstate that she was alienating everyone

with her.

She has a very big head right now. And then to throw out that comment to me, of

all people, I'm the most loyal friend she has.

I'm interested to see how she's going to handle Miami.

And she's going to want to be the queen bee there. We're going to have an issue.

Because the problem is, you know how I am, I'm going to pop off and I'm trying

not to. The good news for Luann is there's nothing she could do that would

surprise me.

So, I mean, honestly, she could put a gobo light of her face on the Empire

Building. She could take a sh... on me.

There's nothing that Luann could do that would surprise me. You're getting to

Miami Saturday?

Sunday. I think my flight's at 11. I'm getting there Sunday night because I'm

coming from D .C. I have to do a speaking engagement. I think it's going

good trip.

I think it is.

Don't jinx it. This to me is my personality. This is adorable on you.

the best thing I've tried on yet.

No.

Okay, come on. All right.

Yes. Okay, what now? How many bathing suit looks am I doing?

Three. I don't want to wear the same hat every day. So what about this little

cute pink one?

That little one on the top. I wanted to fit that pink one in. Then make it

happen.

At the tell us, please record your message.

Hi, it's Luann Dulles -Epps calling. I'm leaving to go to Miami with my...

Friends, I just wanted to remind you so that if you show up unexpectedly to

visit me, that you know I'm away. Bye.

Thank you.

How much trouble? I haven't been to Florida in a while.

Don't talk about trouble.

Hey,

look at that. Our luggage is waiting for us. Oh, Singer, this is yours, the two

blue. How did you know?

Because who needs this much luggage for four days, five days? Four days? I

brought like ten pairs of shoes.

Wow.

Are these our cars? We're in Miami!

All right, the three of us are going to go together.

I'm with you. I know.

You guys take this car, we'll take the other. I'm a little gassy, but not

We'll just go to this one.

Go, take the black one.

Chintzy, you like the white one?

Going with black.

Oh, don't everyone come with me. Oh, God, what's the difference?

Are you kicking me out of a car?

Yes, if you're excited.

How did you guys decide? Oh, I'm getting already kicked out of a car.

Three and three.

Oh, my God.

Look, I've just come to expect it with these girls. I mean, I'm the kid's

sister. It's like, you know, put baby in the corner.

All right, girls, I got it. It's fine. I'll go to the other car.

Hold my luggage for a second.

Maybe you just stay here.

I just farted and it's still in my jeans. Oh, Sonia, come on. It's still in

jeans. Hold on.

Oh, Sonia.

We're excited.

Come on, girls. We're here.

Very excited.

How beautiful.

What the?

It was beautiful.

Wow. Oh, my God. I'm never going home.

Well, we'll see.

You might want to. How nice is it to be in warm weather out in New York? Be

excited.

Look at this place.

Hi.

Hi.

Dorinda, nice to meet you. Hi, I'm Barbara. Nice to meet you.

This is outstanding.

Oh,

my God. Wow, look at that.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

This is the best house I've ever been to.

I'm never leaving. When I saw the photos of this home, I was so excited about

it. But in person, it blows the photos away.

Isn't it beautiful? This is really elegant.

Oh, my God. You can't even make a comparison to last year's house in

In fact, I don't even want to.

Let's wash our hands. We need a boat.

We got Captain Lou.

Lou Anne is so happy. Look at her. Oh, my God. What do we need to go back to

York City for?

I can't wait to get in the pool. The view is amazing.

It doesn't get better than this. Who doesn't like to look at the water? Oh,

Ramona, they have noodles.

She'll be happy. This is the life I'm accustomed to.

Coming up.

Go to sleep now.

I'm going to knock you out.

Oh, my God.

I can't. I can't move from here. I have Sonia.

Sonia's wasting no time. The minute I walk in the door, they have the welcome

drink. I don't know what's in it, but I'm going to have them. We went out

your Clay Play thing, and we bumped into Harry Dubin. You ran into Harry Dubin

again? But you know what? He and Ramona were snitching. They were frenching.

Oh, Jesus.

I just spit up on myself.

I just had a little bit of, like, you know that taste of the first part of

vomit? Came up in my throat. They were Frenching.

Making out.

You know what?

At the new boutique.

Oh, Harry gets me so upset.

Harry Dubious. That's what they call him. It's getting so on my nerves that I

want to erase him. But I can't because I love him.

But can't he just stay away from my girlfriend?

And I am a very best friend of Harry's. The only thing I'm not sure is if I'm

allergic to his sperm. Oh, my God. Stop with that. Let's go on a house tour.

House tour? Okay. House tour. Oh, look at Ramona in her silver jeans.

Let's go.

Oh, my God. Look at all those orchids. Oh, my God. It's like 2 ,000 right

Do you have like a gardener that comes every other day to water? I love this.

Every day. Because we're desperate housewives for the gardener.

The master bedroom.

Nice. Wow.

Look at that view.

Look at the bathroom.

Oh, my God.

Okay, I'm definitely over. I have to have the best room.

I'm looking at this room, and wow, if I could get this room, I'd be very lucky.

So how many bedrooms are on this level?

Well, five, and then two in the guest house, which is kind of like on the same

level. So this is another bedroom.

They all have en suite bathrooms. They all have walk -in closets. A lot

different than the bathroom.

Yeah. No TV.

Look at this view.

These two rooms share a bathroom. I like a Jack and Jill bathroom.

Keep going.

This is nice.

As you know, everything is well -appointed. It's all so beautiful.

Look at that sunset.

Gorgeous. Oh, electric.

This is beautiful.

Wonderful. Not bad, thank you. No, no, no.

All right, so what are we doing about bedrooms?

I mean, I've only seen five. Number seven.

Oh, oh, wait for us.

These are cute.

These are cute. You know, there's not a bad room in the house, to tell you the

truth. Tinsley, you're not a tan kind of girl. I know, but I kind of like these

out here, to be honest with you. You don't think we should wait for B?

No, we're not waiting for her. She's just, you know.

My philosophy is, first come, first serve. I like it out there.

Me and you?

Oh, my God, Dorinda, how beautiful is this? This is beautiful.

Oh, my God.

Do you have a tan?

Wow. Look at the sunset. This is my room. So let's figure this out. This is

room. Let's do it the fairest way possible. Let's flip a coin. Let's do it

Hello? Let's flip a coin. All I need is like that room. I like facing. I like.

We all like waking up in water. I love waking up in water. Take the water.

Take the master suite. Sorry, I can take the master suite. Fine. You two take

the master suite.

We got the master suite. We voted.

I'll take one of this.

We're looking. We're looking. We're rethinking. Hold on. The one thing you

always count on is Ramona saying, we'll stay together. We'll stay together. So

as soon as they knew they had lovers, they wanted the master. But guess what?

There's not a bad room in the house. There's not a fish room.

We'll do the annex.

By the garages? We'll do the garage one.

Well, that's what Barbie and I were going to say.

Okay.

So go ahead. You and Barbara take that.

What are we going to do with Bethany?

I'll take this one then. Then I'm going to stay here.

Can I get screwed?

Why? Because now where am I going?

I've got to start being more of a dick, or else I'm just going to keep getting

the short end of the stick.

I liked this one before.

I'm good with this one.

You're cool?

I'm good. So we'll let Bethany decide. She's got two rooms to decide from.

Yay!

Do you know where the closet is? I know there's so much space here. Oh, here we

go. I think it's that way. Here we go. You're going to get sucked in, and

there's no way out.

Okay, so where's my purse?

Ladies. Hello, handsome.

Dinner will be served at 7. Okay.

Good, because I'll be in bed by 11.

So you're not getting a blowout?

Blowout? They're here for blowout.

Change the second word.

I do not know what you're in for. I'm all talk and no walk right now.

Being back in Miami and being back in Florida is not easy. I have to stick to

the plan, which is to stay sober no matter what happens. So yoga, going to

meetings, whatever it takes.

to navigate through the drama.

I'm very excited about my clothes, because last time I went away, I had a

foot, and I couldn't, like, even pack.

Go ahead, right here, sir. Oh, my God.

She's such a drama queen. She's such a pain in the ass. Stay home, dude. Is

pretty? It's beautiful. And I like orange. And it goes with the

because it's blue and orange, right? There you go. And then, oh, my gosh,

are great. These are very sexy. I have good legs. It shows off my legs. I have

little tank top that shows off my boobies. Like, I'll have something.

Sonia, you should see all my good clothes you can borrow.

Oh, I found a drink. I spot a drink. What's that game?

You know when you go with your family in the car and you say, I spot a red

Volkswagen. Oh, punch buggy? Punch buggy. I spot a drink.

We'll do punch buggy drink.

I have one big drink. Jordan's going to get you some, though, a fresh one.

It's okay.

Coming up.

Okay. Okay. I'm here to talk. I'm not here to listen. Okay. No, I'm not

attacking you. Well, why not? Everybody else seems to. Well, you deserve it.

Okay.

Raj.

Taj.

Here's what we're going to do. Like, we've got to unpack.

Ready? Okay. Last two old shoes. Ready?

You want a drink? I got extra drinks. Oh, is this underwear? This is

Oh, my God.

Underwear with the shoes.

That's funny.

Should we just put the underwear on there, too? All right. Here we go.

It's a girl's weekend.

What heels are you going to wear?

These.

I love those.

I'll tell you another thing. That Luann, she better get off her high horse.

That'll win.

I love her, but I got to tell her.

You lost my shoe.

Taj. It's in your pocket. I'll grab it for you. Okay, that's good.

Taj. Taj, not tage.

You said tage. It's tage. Taj.

It's tage. It rhymes with page or rage.

Let's do it a little bit heavier pour than you did.

Just to make it snappy, make it good. A little bit extra lemon.

This is called the pre -dress drink.

Okay. You don't know what you're dealing with here, do you? No. You do not know

a little thing.

It is fun. We will not let you down.

It's T -A -G -E.

What is it? Taj. It's T -E -J.

And I personally like a splash

of water.

Okay. Just a little bubble.

So don't do Tej.

Okay, you can call me Tej. You're killing me.

Honey, you're killing me. I'll keep my name Tej, but you can call me Taj.

I don't know what Sonia's been drinking, but it's obviously too much. It's not a

good look.

Not a good look at all.

Here we go.

That's got a lot of love in it.

Okay.

Taste.

Cheers. It's a great mojito.

Miami mojito.

That's it.

What do you want me to wear tonight?

I need something that's going to hide my belly.

Here. You have a little belly, too. What are you up to?

Already? You just got here. This is Taj.

Hi, Taj. How are you?

If you Google him, he's sweating for a thing. I went for a swim.

I come back. She's already three sheets to the wind.

How do you spell Taj?

What? T -A -G?

Taj Mahal?

Taj. T -O -S -H.

It's going to be a long night.

Jesus, Raj. Okay, I'm a little drunk.

Wow. Nice.

I'm talking to Tinsley about the fact that Ramona...

He's making out with Harry Dubin, who I dated 30 years ago.

I was not making out with Harry, so shut up.

Oh,

shh. I was going to leave a mark.

What's up, Babs? You look great. I'm so glad to see you. Why? I don't know. I

don't know.

Blackout? May I tell you something that's a pretty interesting detail?

I've been in three states today. I smell like a garbage can. I do. I smell like

a... Wow, this is sick.

The house is spectacular.

It's like we're in an episode of Cribs.

It's modern and palatial. Looks like people could do kilos of cocaine and

Scarface in it. So it's very, very Miami.

Wait, I hear screaming.

That's Sonia.

Is that real or that's just like... No, that's real.

Wait, let's go this way.

Let's walk this way.

I don't know that I want to enter this yet.

I'm not surprised that Sonia's at an 11.

I'm surprised that yet another woman would make out with Harry Dubin. I took

biggest room because I thought it was too gluttonous for you. I know you don't

care which room you got. If I can be the last one in and the first one out.

You're not that person.

All right, shut up. I'm going to pee in the bathtub. I don't give a shit. Stop

it. Well, I'm going to pee in the bathtub. Please don't, please don't,

don't, please don't.

I want to take a bath in there eventually. Please don't. It's all fun

until somebody pees in the only bathtub in the house. I mean, come on, Sonia.

You can find another way to christen this house.

She's blasted.

What's going on?

Ramona's having a little thing with Harry Dubin.

Sonia's like, enough, Tom.

Now Harry Dubin, what is wrong with my friends?

I would never touch that in a million years. Never. I would never touch any.

Never. Is this good? No, too many vaginas on the same penis. No, not that.

I don't care. Oh, this is great. It's great, right? Perfect, yeah. In fairness

to Sonia, Sonia was the first to go with Tom.

Hi, Tom. Sonia, how are you?

Hi. Good to see you. Good to see you.

Sonia was the first to be with Harry.

You're amazing, Harry.

You... Take me the way I am and you're not judgmental and you feel me.

Sonia is the curator of cock and she found all these men.

Coming up.

Just say I'm sorry. Don't tell me what to say.

dinner is served if you want to have dinner.

That's the dinner plate.

I don't know. I don't know.

They were having some appetizers. I was so hungry.

So nice.

I love this place so much. Hi, I love this. Where are you? I love this place.

Hi, Kinsey, I love this place.

I love it so much.

No, not yet.

I love it.

sauce on your head.

I love it so much. I love it so much. Looking at Sonia right now, she is very

drunk and she is acting a bit different. So I can see why somebody could think

that maybe it's not just alcohol and it's something else. But I know that

is just plain old drinking Sonia.

Where's Bethany, the princess? I mean, what is going on here? She's getting

ready. She'll come down when she's ready. Well, I don't really believe in

Sonia, Sonia, you want to play?

Not real.

Wait, wait. We like the mushrooms. Sonia, that's for everybody to share.

That's for everyone?

And I'm the crazy one thinking that Sonia might be on something?

Maybe it's something other than alcohol here.

Wait a second. Can we talk about dinner tomorrow night? Are you inviting

anybody? I want the seaweed. Seaweed is good.

Do you? I've got guys coming.

How many guys? One more hot than the other. Come on. No, no, no, no.

We've got this fabulous house. We're all pretty much single and ready to mingle.

And it's time to invite some guys. But, you know, I'm hoping that Sonia's going

to pace herself tomorrow night. I don't want her to look bad.

I want to know what kind of guys the Williams bring. Straight guys, used up

guys, f***ed up guys.

Sonia! You don't trust me to bring some very nice boys here tomorrow night? No,

I don't. Because you usually...

Hi, guys.

These mushrooms are delicious.

You got any guys that you haven't fucked up, you're going to share with us.

Whoa. Whoa, garlic in here. Wow. I could ask Ramona the same question. Are you

kind enough to throw me a guy that you haven't kissed or made out with? You say

you don't fuck these guys.

You said you only kiss these guys. What are you talking about?

Throw me a guy. I'm not going to throw you a guy that I've been going dating

I kissed.

That's not cool. I'm sorry. Honey, you make out with my guys.

My guys.

Sonia, would you be quiet now? Now you're really pissing me off.

You all go with my guys. Ramona just made out with Harry.

You did.

You made out with Harry. You're stellar. You were making out with Harry Dubin,

and I saw you at the new boutique. Oh, my God.

Take it to the wire, Ramona.

Jesus. Pull your legs.

I feel bad because there's a lack of respect for Sonia and her feelings and

past relationships.

She makes fun of it. She does a fabulous floozy thing. I don't care. Ha, ha, ha.

But when she has a couple drinks, her pain comes out.

So this is coming from a disgruntled Sonia who is upset about. I was with him

years ago. He would come to me. Why are you talking about a guy 30 years ago

that you dated? I know. Who cares?

Sonia is my boyfriend.

He wasn't my boyfriend.

She's just ranting and raving, saying, you took this guy from me, you took this

guy from me. Well, she's had a lot of guys, so come on. Keith, my lover, why

would you go there? It was 30 years ago. I agree with her. Give it a rest. Are

you kidding me? What are you talking about, Dorinda? What do you know about

You know nothing about me.

If I used to sleep with anyone, I would never watch you sleep with anyone.

I really don't. Well, that's convenient for you.

Yeah.

I, in my life, if you've dated him, if you've had any interaction with him, I

don't date him. There is, as Luann would say, a girl code.

Why aren't you following it?

I'm sorry.

Don't get involved, Dorinda. It's nothing to do with me.

Don't tell me what not to get involved with. Don't get involved.

I'll get involved with whatever I want to. Oh, my God.

It's part of your story.

Just say I'm sorry. Don't tell me what to say.

I'll say whatever I fucking want.

Oh, my God. Don't you tell me. Like you said the other day, I'll do whatever I

damn well please.

It's my cabaret show, and I can talk about whatever the hell I want to.

And I will send you a lawyer's letter, and you're not going to use me to

yourself up. And I asked you, please leave her out.

Why are you getting involved?

Take it down a notch right now.

I should take it down a notch? Yes, you should.

I'm sitting here with sober eyes watching this, and it's embarrassing.

I don't ever want to be like that again.

I came to your rehearsal.

You're a f***ing diva. I'm not a diva. Shut up!

I will not deal with you when you're drinking.

I will not.

That's exactly the way everybody talks. That's what you're doing.

This girl has been by her side.

She has been a great friend. Better than me. It's about me.

It's not about her.

Oh, she don't want to hear. It's about me. You don't want to hear because she's

done with you. Yes.

Dorina's right. She's done with you.

It's wasted.

I'm wasted.

Sorry, I'm late. Holy shit.

Coming in too late, and we're too drunk, and it's too much. You can't catch up.

I don't know if you can catch up. I can't catch up.

I'm like zero dark 30. I don't know what I'm seeing. I don't know what's being

discussed. You cannot exploit your random.

I'm like, okay.

Hold on. I see a drunk Sonia. I recognize that. I understand. I see a

Dorinda. I copy that, too. I'm familiar with this situation. I'm not exactly

sure who we're talking about. Oh, Luann? Okay, I got it. I'm back.

I'm in.

It's been, like, going crazy all day long. You have no idea.

It was actually complaining to Luann. She was very on point about what she's

done. She walked out. She couldn't deal. She thought right now that she was

going to die.

That's why she left.

Okay.

Listen, listen. I know you're in. I know you're the leader of the cabaret cult.

But you got to like take off your construction goggles for a second

thinks the world works for her. I don't understand who told her that.

I don't know who got her big ass in here. I'd tell her. I'm going up to her

because I'm not saying it's behind her back. I'm saying it to her face. I don't

want to be mean. I just want to say understand what everyone is seeing that

you're not seeing. Either it's not happening and we're all delusional or it

happening and you're being really self -involved and narcissistic.

Hi. Okay.

Okay. I'm here to talk. I'm not here to listen.

Okay. All right. No, I'm not attacking you.

I'm going to say... Well, why not? Everybody else seems to. Well, you

it. Oh, really? Why?

You don't realize, I know you don't, that...

You take and take and you just expect and you have an entitlement about you.

Your thing has gone to your head. No, it has not. It's gone to your head. It

hasn't gone to mine.

There's always a list of negative about Lo. There's never anything positive. I'm

getting just negative, negative, negative.

And it does not stop.

Why would you think we'd want to go to Cabaret five times in one month? I'm

perfectly fine. I'm doing my thing. I'm doing me. If you don't want to come to

my show, you don't have to come. You don't get it. I don't get Sonia being...

wasted attacking me at the table. I don't get... Oh, my God. She's right,

you're wrong.

She's right about what? The fact that you should be running around saying

on something. Go to her and take her on the side. I wanted to talk to her

tonight, but she's not in a way to talk to her.

Duh!

Renda! You did it for years.

You did the quarter for years.

I'm like a doormat.

Tomorrow... you can have your her own conversation.

This isn't the best place to be sober. So that you go to bed and that's it. But

I'm here saying my piece. I'm not going to sit down there and yammer with all of

them at a table about it. So that's what's going on.

And well, let them keep talking about me. I'm sure there's nothing else.

I'm sure they have more to talk about now, but I hope so.

All right. Well, good night. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay.

I feel like barricading myself away from these women, but there is no safe space

in this house. There isn't a house big enough to be safe in.

I'm not that close to her in that way that I can, like, say something.

She's hungry.

Sorry, you can't fall asleep. You're going out with me. Tinsley, are you

out? No.

Yeah. Where are we going out? There's, like, a place to go. It's like a new

place. Go for now.

She shot your wad too early, girls. Come on. I'm ready, able, and willing to go

out. I'm feeling fine.

Do you want to come?

No. What about Barbara?

She can come. Of course. Do you want to come?

No, she doesn't want me to come, and that's quite all right.

It is?

She doesn't. You can say it. I don't care.

Tinsley and I are going to catch up.

Tinsley and Ramona still have to catch up.

I feel like you're being left out. I want to catch up. I am. I'm not like a

of a mean girl group over here.

I'll just go by myself.

This is the point. We're not going to pit friends against friends. We're not

doing this. We're not doing this.

Barbara wants to come out. Do you want to come out, Barbara?

No, thank you.

Oh, do you want to come, Barbara?

No. I don't want to come.

You've already ruined it. I'm getting a little bit drunk. Is that okay? Everyone

gets a bonbon once in a while.

We are going out, girl. You're coming to bed with me.

Sally, you see this is so hot.

This is so hot. You see it's hot.

Very hot.

I think I want to change quickly.

Go to sleep. Go to bed. Go to sleep. You guys are not hot.

We know we're not hot.

I'm hot.

This is not really good to go out in.

Go to bed or go out. I'm going to knock you out. I'm going to knock you out. I'm

going to knock you out. Try it. Give me your best shot.

Give me your best shot.

Go to sleep now.

I'm going to knock you out. Do it. Right now. Hit me with your... Oh, my God.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New York City... Take your shoes off. Take

her shoes off. I am.

No, it's not okay. Give me something.

She could have a concussion. Who's the president?

Clinton. I had a car accident. I had to go for Emeril. That looks really scary.

I don't know. Is this our car?

You know, girlfriends are supposed to build you up, not tear you down.

I think they have a problem with my success.

Oh, I don't think so.

Now, this is all about love, which we all need. This is all going to be love,

love, love.

Wow, this looks incredible since the last time I was here.

I'm going to get you a noodle out of my picture.

It's like a cargo ship going by.

I like your sneakers, your skinny jeans.

Oh, Ramona has a date coming soon.

I think a little part of me wanted to make Mario jealous. I can't wait to meet

the guy. Are you the guy? You must be the guy. Oh, my God.

I'm the guy. I'm the guy. You're the guy. Yeah, you're the guy.

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