Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of New York City.

Right now, I'm good with everyone. So I'm looking forward to Berkshire. Oh my

God, I don't think Dorinda even wants to do the Berkshires.

Loanne, she expected an apology.

I have been friends with this girl for over 13 years. And you can go if that's

what you're going to come here and aggravate me. Go.

Very stylish grief counselor.

I want to make sure that I'm not transferring my grief onto another

relationship. I hope that I didn't have anything to do with him dying. I don't

think I did, but I don't know.

Perfect. Bluestone Manor is great at Christmas, but imagine Bluestone Manor

Halloween. Look at that! Oh, my God!

Any chance you have of anybody for a massage?

A massage?

I got to take a pee. I think Luann has mistaken my home for an inn. After what

happened between us, if she puts me in the fish room, I will really... Don't

insult her. Don't insult her. I will insult her if I feel like it.

I plead guilty to being fat.

The only thing I'll settle for is more.

People call me over the top, but lately, I prefer being a bottom.

Game set.

Now, I need a match.

When life gives me lines, I make margaritas.

If you got a problem with me, it's your problem.

I think you should give her Bethany's room. I think you should give her

room. So she comes tomorrow, and she takes the nicest room in the house, and

get the back room. You go sleep with the swordfish tonight, okay?

Why don't you go sleep with the swordfish? I mean, the room is awesome.

It's like the monsters.

They go, you're going down with the fishes.

That's something. You're putting me in the... Fish room. Are you kidding me

right now? I'm like, I'm in shock. Oh, that's insulting because that room is

beautiful. I'm surprised the girls think it's funny because it's really not that

funny. I thought Dorinda would have been more thoughtful. Like Luann was really

messed up last time she was in that room. Maybe I should put her in another

room. Got water.

Water.

Why am I sleeping here? I need to go to the spa.

Is it Betty Ford over?

I just think you should make Luann really comfortable and upset her when

said, oh, well, Bethany says I have to have this room. Well, she wasn't going

come. Well, you know what?

She's going through a horrible time. Oh, come on.

She's in Boston with another guy right now. How horrible can it be?

Really? Who cares?

I mean, everybody handles grief differently.

Yeah, I go out and get laid. What do you do?

I don't know if Dorinda gave Bethany the room because she says Bethany's in a

bad place or she just gave Bethany the room because she's afraid of Bethany.

Seriously, I do want to stay here with them. Do you have a room for me?

Will you check with the... I'm fine right away.

Awesome, thanks.

Just so you know, and I love you, the house is gorgeous. That room is a little

cold and kind of unwelcoming.

It makes it kind of scary.

It's a scary room. Don't say that because there's some of the rooms in

houses I don't like, and I would never say that. I said it's scary because

there's a shark on the wall. No, so what? It's called whatever.

That's a dirty man.

She didn't realize anybody had a problem with the sharp -nosed fish on the wall.

I don't know why everyone hates us.

For me, it's like kind of the scene of the crime, okay?

Last year, I was wasted in that room. It's like kind of weird for me, okay?

I do not think that Luann in any way would be triggered by the fish room

she had a bad experience there last year. I think she's using it as an

not stay in the fish room. But anyway, let's let be. I'm going to stay here and

I'll see you tomorrow. No, I'm not. I'm not moving anybody.

And he does have a room available.

Perfect. Oh, God, now I'm upset. Very happy. Come on, you can't do that. You

have to find a room in the house. No, now I'm very happy. She's seven

Let Luann do what Luann wants her to do. If you were upset about intention, her

intention was to have you in the room where I am, not the shark room.

I feel like anything I'm going to do right now, she's very quick to anger.

option I give her besides handing over Bethany's room as a sign of loyalty to

the crown is not going to be good enough.

So I'm just going to try to diffuse it a little bit.

I mean, that room, I'm sorry. It just reminds me of a crazy time. I didn't

realize that. So we'll move.

You're staying in the room where I am. We all want to be together. Let's be

together.

So they convinced me to stay at their house, so I'm going to stay with them.

you know what? If I call in case of emergency, keep me a room just in case.

If you see me battling a swordfish, you'll know why I'm staying.

Before we talk about the swordfish, the swordfish is going to be... Talk about

what you want.

Okay. I love the legs sticking out with the pumpkins on.

Here, Lou Anne, look at this. The Grand Countess. Oh, my God.

Aphasia, the Grand Countess. She lost her head in 1597.

Uh -oh. And lost her mind in 1622.

I hope she's the only countess that's going to lose her head this weekend.

All righty.

What are we doing, going to bed?

Yeah, probably, right? Okay.

I'll show you your room. Okay.

Oh, you mean my room? Sure. Look at the eyeballs in here.

Let's go, Lou. Kenzie, you're out. You got to move your stuff.

Oh, you unpacked and everything, girl.

Exactly. I totally, I made myself at home. I put stuff in the drawers. Oh,

All right. Okay. Stay at the hotel.

No, it's not a big deal. Oh, my God. Dorinda is going out of her way to do

everything for Lou. It's getting embarrassing. I wouldn't do it for her.

completely being honest with you. I would not do this. Tinsley, come and get

your Louis Vuitton luggage.

Oh, hi. Hi.

Just getting my bag.

I'm like...

Excuse me, Countess, let me come into my room and I'm going to take my luggage

and I'm going to bow as I come out. I'm now like, you know, the bellman of

Bluestone Manor. I mean, Dorinda's having to like, you know, book massages

green juice. I mean, I don't know. I guess we're just all serving Luann at

point. I love that room back there. Good. You're just with a swordfish. It's

fine. I don't like to be. No, no, no, I'm not. I'm going to that room.

So who's staying with the fish?

Barbara.

Ah.

Remember, it's only two days. I only have to do this for two days, and then I

can explode in my cornfield out there.

This is hard.

You're good?

Everybody's happy? I'm good. Don't worry. I'm going to tell them to be

Look how scary this is.

No, they're not. They're loud.

Hey, guys. They're never fine in any case.

You've got to keep it down a little bit. She's trying to sleep.

Good morning.

You're not going to practice?

No. I'm going to take a nice bath maybe tomorrow morning. I literally in two

days put this whole thing together. It's super cool.

I'm transported back to like childhood. Right? Well, that's the idea.

Do you do your yoga? No, I'm doing it now. You want to come?

Oh, you're making me mad. Yeah, come on. I'll set up these masks.

Set it up.

Yoga just helps me breathe, be centered, be in touch with myself, and helps me

to deal with life in general. Good morning.

Good morning. I'm so glad to hear your name is not Kale. It's Patrick. I'm so

tired of Kale. Aren't you?

Good morning, Patrick.

Happy Tuesday. Can I have anything on this one?

Wait, what?

Sway your arms left and right, your whole torso.

Who knew that your mind doesn't have to be occupied by when is that first drink

going to come? And now release the hands. And then the knees.

Inhale. Arms up. Look up.

Plant the hands and step back to plank pose.

Hey, Ramona.

And really press through the heels.

Engage the quads. The kneecaps lift.

Spread the fingers wide. Good morning. You can start in downward dog. It's a

great place to start. Now press the backs of your knees towards the

Inhale, roll to plank, top of a pigeon.

And really allow your forehead to fall towards your shin.

That's the best.

Press the right elbow into the right knee if you want to get a little more

action. Oh, and this is why I don't get on top anymore to have sex. I'm just

like, I just really like to be on the bottom. Power bottom.

It's a good spot.

It's a good spot, you know.

There are more moans and groans in this room than I've had in six months. Ooh.

This is it. This is it. This is the tight spot. There is joy out of all

Oh, my God, Luann, your ass is like two firm cherries. Yoga, baby. Breakfast is

ready. We have to be out of here sharp at 11. Oh, my God. Why are we on such a

tight schedule? Because Bedford Hall yesterday, no one got here, so they can

only see us 11 .30 to 12 .30, and then they have an event the whole afternoon.

Okay. I'm running a summer camp at Bluestone Manor.

There is yoga, there's massages, there's Ventford Hall, and I'm having the Bare

Naked Chef come and do a six -course meal. And I'm not even taking a credit

for anything.

Okay, it's 9 .50, you guys. Oh, Jesus. Let's wrap it up. You don't have to

till 11, you six. It's not a hotel. I'm not here to corral people.

I'm going at 11.

Just have hands of prayer.

We're in our savasana now. Namaste. Dear Lord, please make Dorinda more relaxed.

Coming up.

I got my period today. One of the odds that somebody here has a tampon. And

cobweb vagina.

There we are.

Oh, cool.

And the Berkshires, you know, were famous for all our fantastic old

cottages and estate.

Imagine the parties they had here.

The one in particular that I love is called Ventifrit Hall, and it's an old

Morgan estate.

So I thought Sonia would find that interesting.

Hello, Mrs. Morgan. Meet Mrs. Morgan. Say hello. She's here.

Madam Morgan.

Darling, you and Lady Morgan would have been very good friends. It's about run

down like my home, too.

It's been so beautiful in its time, right?

What do you think?

Hi. Hi, welcome.

How are you?

My name is Richard. Welcome to Ventford Hall, ladies. We're excited to be here.

Thank you so much for coming. This is Mrs. Morgan.

Mrs. Morgan, what a delight to have a relative on the premises.

Just give us a little quick history of when it was built. A house was built in

1893. This is called a cottage, by the way. This is your summer house. Do you

want to see your relatives?

Yes. On this wall, we have Sarah Morgan.

She's the gal that built the house that is J .P. Morgan's sister. On this wall

is her husband, George Morgan. He was a seventh cousin.

Wow. So just like the Roosevelt's, you had a lot of intermarriage. My

grandfather is Henry Morgan of Morgan Stanley.

Excellent. Okay.

Ancestry and history is very important to the Morgans. As time goes on, there's

less and less of them. So the younger generation becomes very important to all

of us. They're not exactly beauties, the Morgans. I think my daughters are

beauty, though.

In this room, we have the side panels don't match because they were both

in the 1600s. And you let people vacuum around here?

Bam, bam, bam.

You should see the damage at my house. I have some 16th century stuff. They just

go right into the toilet.

Looking at this house.

It just makes me worry more about my townhouse. Another old Morgan house with

history attached to it.

Getting banged up and beat up. I had sex on the sink in the staff room

downstairs. I got up on the sink and the thing pulled off the wall. So can you

just stick that on?

Morgan Crest. That's what my ring says. Onward and upward. Exactly. So you're a

proper Morgan then. That's what I keep saying.

She keeps trying to tell everybody. She keeps rewinding us.

The deer's from my family crest.

Wait a second, do you really have a family crest? It's from my ex -husband.

your husband's family.

I would feel like an idiot to walk around in Ralph's family's carton.

Now we have recreated this room exactly what it looked like when George and

Sarah lived here in 1905.

They did sleep in the same room, which was unusual for the Gilded Age, but they

did sleep in twin beds.

We had a king -size bed, we had the suite, but we didn't sleep in the same

Okay, okay.

start in the same room, but then he'd go to his room, I had my room, he had his

bathroom, I had my bathroom. I think it's very civilized. And we'd still be

together if things didn't happen the way they did.

Maybe it's all the old wood and the dust and the smell of mold, but it goes from

Sonia very quickly to Lady Morgan.

Don't forget it. All the Morgan family writes each other. My daughter writes

dad.

$100. Yeah, we're not supposed to.

$195. Oh. Yeah.

I'm just lifting it with my nail.

That just kills me. If every person that comes in for the next 50 years or 100

years or 200 years touches those letters with the acid on your skin, they're not

going to make it. They should be under plexi, like the Guggenheim Bible. I'm

sorry. That's how I feel.

All the houses are like this. You see these claw feet? That's the same you see

in my house. They're all from the Adams and the Morgans family. Right. I'm

spending thousands of dollars a month on storage to keep these pieces for my

daughter. When Sonia first walked into this bedroom, she was fine. Happy -go

-lucky Sonia, laughing and smiling.

Now, she's in this whole Morgan zone.

The longer she stays in this room, she's going to spiral down.

You don't see anybody throwing money at this place to keep it.

That's why I didn't send the paintings over to the Morgan Library, because I'd

have to pay to have it cleaned. You know the portrait of me and my ex? Yeah, but

why can't the library?

Because we have to support the library. Who do you think pays the library?

Oh, I don't know. That's why I'm on the board of the museum outside of Paris.

All right.

To raise money for the museum.

It's a responsibility.

Nothing is free.

Dorinda! Yes?

She's losing it again.

She's going into this, like, whole, like, Morgan thing. I'm telling you. I

it's bringing her back. She's starting to, like, ramble, and it's making me

nervous. Seriously.

Sonia, I think it's time to go.

You okay?

I have all these little things, little boxes like this, and they just fall

apart, and I try to keep everything from my kids. Don't worry about all that.

Little boxes like this. You saw the one I have in my house in New York. I have a

box like this. It's very hard to keep.

You don't need to keep that. You're moving up into your fresh new apartment.

No, for the kid, the history of it. And then who's supposed to pay for all this

stuff? Well, that's it.

Nobody wants to pay.

Let's go.

She starts to act kind of like lost in that world again.

Going in this, like... I know, I have some stuff in storage, but now the stuff

at the townhouse has to come out. She's just happy because she can tell her

daughter about it. All right, all right. I just want to make sure.

This is not good.

This is not the way I wanted it to turn out. Come back to us, Sonia!

That was... I'm glad you brought me here. Okay, good.

Wow, it got really warm. Oh my god, it's really warm. Yeah. Yeah, let's go

outside and get in the sun. I think for the first time, these women are going to

understand why I love Bluestone Manor so much, because they only see the dark

and gloomy, cold Bluestone Manor. But I got the pool heated, the spa's on, the

weather is fantastic.

So they're going to have a real fun time.

It's so pretty to see it. Definitely there's a budget here, not like the old

Morgan house, but no money. What?

Everything's new and clean and shiny. Nice, all redone. The pool.

It's so delicious.

I wish I brought my goggles so I could show you how I swim. Oh, are you going

swim? You're like a chick.

It's unbelievable out there.

Hey, Lou? Yeah? Can I talk to you for five minutes before we get on? Very

Yeah. Do you mind?

No, not at all. I've given this past year a lot of thinking.

I don't want to have a superficial interaction with her. I don't like what

said. She didn't like what she said.

And let's discuss that.

I mean, I want to just get this behind me already.

I want to talk to you before Barbara gets here because I feel like I just

to talk to you one -on -one. Right.

I need you to look at me and hear me.

I'm sorry for the behavior I exhibited.

I can't unsay what I did. And I felt like I was hurt and I reacted badly. No

excuse.

And then it just snowballed.

Right. We loved each other like family.

No, I know. And, you know, I, believe me, I miss that part of our

I really want to go forward with you. It may not be now. It may not be for six

months. But I want us to find peace. You're doing fantastically. I feel like

trying to do fantastically.

So I just want to say this. I don't know if it's going to project it forward at

all, but I needed to say it. Well, I appreciate it. I appreciate you owning

at least because I really didn't feel like you. I did. This is what I've been

waiting for. I just wanted Dorinda to cop to it and to own it. And it really

makes me feel like she really is remorseful.

Can I get a hug and a kiss? Yes, I thank you for doing that. That's the best

communication you can do.

I finally feel like Dorinda's really sincere.

I really do. It's going to take time to get back to where we used to be, but at

this point I feel like I can relax, let my guard down, and just enjoy the

weekend. Did you have a chat?

What did you do? Just hang out together?

Kiss?

It's private.

Okay.

So how did it go with Dorinda? It seems like you two are...

Well, in a better place.

Yeah, it was nice because she's never really copped to what happened. And it

felt real.

Oh, that's nice. It felt more real than anything she's said to me in the last

six months. I'm so glad because I know she's missed the friendship.

Okay, ladies.

Okay. I spoke to Luann before she got her massage.

She said we spoke, and I really felt she was heartfelt, and I know she's really

missed me. Good. Good.

So let's continue to be the facilitators, the cheerleaders. And when

gets here, she starts to be a broken record.

You've got to pull Barbara away. I'm not getting involved.

I'm going to put it on you because you know Barbara better than I do. Yeah, and

Barbara loves me. I can just say it the way I always do. I say it in a really

bad way, but Barbara knows I come from a good place. All right, good.

Coming up.

I am the one with the swordfish and the shark on the wall. You're okay.

Believe me, you're okay.

It's an initiation. You're going to make it. Why is it an initiation?

We've

been

waiting.

We've been waiting.

Obviously, the last time I saw Barbara, it wasn't great. But I can't leave her

out of the group.

Because that'll start another thing and give her another excuse to, you know,

keep the fires fueled with Lou. So in the spirit of good friendship and

camaraderie, I've invited Barbara. And I hope that she comes up with a good

attitude. How was your wedding? Oh, I didn't go.

Oh, you didn't go? That's a long story.

Oh. Oh, my God. Is that real?

Yeah. Oh, my God.

He came with the house.

Oh,

my God. A little haunted.

I'm not going to lie.

That's for you.

Oh, my God.

We're decorated for Halloween. That's the whole point.

I have never seen a house decorated like this in my life. I mean, it's over the

top. Oh, my God.

It's a perfect setting for a murder, but hopefully that murder won't be me. I am

getting out alive.

Oh, Tinsley. Hi.

Hi. How are you? Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. They're all at the pool.

Nice moldings. Thank you.

Well, it was built in 1904.

It's a Stanford white. This house is huge.

How do you clean this thing?

I don't. I have people that do it.

So show me around a little bit. I really like the staircase.

That's all original. We restored everything.

The inside had this grand staircase.

These doors all have these amazing, thick, chunky moldings. It's a really

gorgeous house.

What the hell are those?

Fish? That just, like, threw me off.

Get taxidermy. You've never seen taxidermy? No, but, like, we were going

and I saw so many, like, different types of things, and then all of a sudden a

fish on the wall didn't exactly go with the whole mountain -esque. It's a boy's

room. Clearly Luann's been speaking to Barbara, and now Luann's little puppet

repeating verbatim what she thinks of my $250 ,000 fish room.

Who cares? You're going to stay here. I'm staying in the fish room? You're

staying in the fish room. I have to put something over that.

That's going to be scary at night.

No, you don't.

Maybe like a... You don't want to touch it. Like a bandana or something?

Like $12 ,000.

I really like these towels. I have to tell you, they're beautiful towels,

Look who's here.

Hi, girls. I went in the pool, went in the jacuzzi. I got my money's worth from

you. Or you got your money's worth from me.

But literally... Ramona said she wouldn't come unless she pulled.

So you heard everything's going well with these two, is it? Yeah, it is.

Yeah, they're getting along really well. Okay.

What about me? Am I going to get along really well? I don't know. I did ask

about that.

What the hell happened? Well, guess what? I'm unpacking because in case I

kicked out, I don't have to unpack.

I heard she did get kicked out. I just got thrown out of Dorinda's house, and

here I am in her other house.

So would you unpack your bag?

I don't think so.

I already know how far it is from here to the end of the driveway.

I can walk it. No problem.

I'll call an Uber.

They do have Ubers out here? There's no service. I just want to warn you. Oh,

really? Yeah.

So if you need a getaway, you might be hitchhiking.

That's all right. You're not shy to hitchhike. I can hitchhike. Look at

need a ride to New York City. What's with those boots? At least there's no

dress. Okay, no wrap dress is fine, but those boots got to go.

And what's she showing with her belly button? What's that all about?

Even my daughter doesn't do that.

Someone needs a makeover.

I really have no issues with Barbara, but Barbara's kind of rough around the

edges, shall we say. She doesn't like the fish room either.

I said that's okay. I don't need you to like it.

Good for you. Last night, there was a little bit of a...

What happened? There was a little bit, like Lorraine got upset at one point.

did? Stormed out of the room? No, she didn't.

So calm.

Why did she get upset?

She was upset about this room that she didn't want to go back to that we all

stayed in last year when she was still drinking. The room with the swordfish.

No, I'm the one with the swordfish and the shark on the wall.

Yes. Oh, the newcomers always get that room, though. You're okay. It's an

initiation. You're okay. It's an initiation. You're going to make it.

Why is it that I'm getting that room? Tinsley had it last year. Because you

last. You didn't show up until now. What? Why'd you show up? When you were

invited. Newbies go there. She sat in New York and we came up here.

Actually, I sat in the Hamptons. You sat in the Hamptons. Last in is last

choice. Too bad. I'll get along with the sharks. I'll just put a little blanket

over them. Sorry. When swimming with the sharks.

Stay in the shark room.

Fight sharks with sharks.

If you don't like it, what can I do?

You know, I mean, if you're really, really upset, Barbara, you don't have to

stay there. I can find out if there's a hotel available. I don't want you to

feel uncomfortable.

Oh, my God. I would hate to do that to you.

Oh, God, you're getting a different reaction to the shark room.

I mean, usually most people are appreciative.

I don't know what's going on. Dorinda's all fired up. She was so calm. You're

the one that's all calm.

I have never seen such horrible manners in my life.

What a negative.

No one's been to Bluestone Manor.

No one. So let's just keep it all positive vibes and let's let Dorinda

and do it all for Lou. Because Lou doesn't need any drama. Dorinda needs to

go there.

Coming up.

We're going to the Williams.

Don't do that to Coco.

Put the dog down. Put the dog down. Put the dog down. Put the dog down.

All right, well, it's about to begin over here. So where are you going to be?

I'm going to call you. I had a really nice time in Boston with this guy that

dating. And now I'm walking into the Berkshires. I've taken a punch or two in

this house. I've thrown a punch or two in this house. Problem with you is that

women don't trust you. And they think you have sex with married men. Mention

all. Mention it all. The fact that you just did that is such a betrayal.

Last year was the beginning of the end of a friendship in the Berkshires.

Let the games begin.

The bee is back, Sheeran. Okay, all right. Bye -bye.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

It's Halloween.

This is a different season.

Everybody is buried in some cemetery in the Berkshires.

Oh, hey -ho.

Thank God.

What happened?

Oh, my God, you look so classy. Get out of here.

It's a myth. Look at your deer shoes.

They look so cute.

So where is everybody now? They ran away from us.

Why? I don't know. They don't want to see me. Look at that Dracula thing that

opens up. Did you see it at the dining room? Yeah, it kept coming out. Well,

Rosé, it's just champagne. That will f*** me up. I think you should have

mean, it's probably a bad idea, but I'm full of bad ideas.

I'm not really drinking.

The problem is I'm a period today.

What are the odds that somebody here has a tampon?

In this cobweb vagina.

Do you have a tampon by any chance?

No.

You are my only hope.

Hi. How are you? No, I do.

You do? Oh, you're okay. I need one. Do you know where you could find some rosé?

Because nobody wants champagne.

There was some in the refrigerator.

Oh, it looks so good.

Well, yeah, this much.

Okay, do you want some? I'm going to find some rosé. Can you be our truffle

and find some? I'm at your beck and call. I always actually, around these

sort of feel like the kid sister.

I am clearly...

The runt of the litter. I'm always the one getting the hind tit. I am the one

the back of my mommy little pig, and I get the little nipple that doesn't get

that much milk, but I'll take whatever I can get.

She's always getting hind tit.

Hi. Hello.

Hi. Hi. I have a present for you that you'll find very adorable.

Oh, I love it.

It's like a little light sign. You can write, like, happy Halloween or every

thing, whatever.

Wait. Oh, God.

How much champagne have we had? Enough.

Girl. Oh, girl. No, I'm just saying.

I'm going to have a glass of wine quickly.

The naked chef is here. You look fantastic.

I do? You want me to come in? Yeah. Okay.

Good vibes.

Positive energy.

I have this blazer. That's so weird. You do? Yeah, I have it in ivory.

Last night I went to see A Star Is Born. I cried. You don't understand. No, no,

at the end, I didn't know it was about pill addiction.

I didn't know that, like, the whole thing, it killed me. The guy was like,

loved her so much. He died for her. I thought to myself, then I thought back

the texts I sent to him that week, though, when I said, look, I can't do

anymore. And he said, babe, it's so rough. I miss you. I love you. And then,

like, I cried for like an hour last night. I was freaking out. I sat

by myself in the movie theater for an hour.

you were never gonna move on in a healthy relationship.

Never, no.

Going to Boston and seeing a star is born could be one of the most stupid

I've ever done in my life. This was his journey, period.

Okay. Everything has a beginning, middle, and end, and it's not for you to

determine. It's done.

You now live your best life with your daughter. And you can always call me. I

told you. I know you're not ready to, but, you know, I have been through a

similar thing, and I get it. It's a lonely but growing thing. I love this.

going to need this tonight. You make your own sign. I love that.

I don't want this one here to bring negativity, Barbara, to the thing

No one wants to stay in the fish room. I'll stay in the fish room.

I'm allergic to fish. I'll stay in the fish room. So last night, you know,

Luanne gets here. You put me in that room. I want to stay in Bethany's room.

F*** that s***. I'm on the recovery.

She's pulling the recovery card?

If she wanted to come up here, I'd say, well, too bad.

About me?

Why is Luann talking about my back at all, saying any negative thing about me

whatsoever in any capacity at all, in any iteration whatsoever?

She should be saying, you're the Lord Jesus Christ. And I don't even know if I

believe in that. I'm not Catholic.

I really can't wrap my head around that. We went through this intervention

together, and I didn't do what I did for her because I feel that she owes me.

But saying anything negative or anything catty, zero bandwidth.

For that. This is the place for yes. If you say no, you gotta go.

Hello, darling.

Wait, I know you. We called Art Smith. Art Smith, who's a famous chef himself,

is now representing this wonderful new chef called the Bare Naked Chef, and

really naked.

I think Art is here tonight to make sure that his apron stays on.

Which one's the naked one? Woo!

She said to make a chef. The first guy came out, I was like, that's not as

advertised. You have clothes on, though. No, he has to prep himself and then the

food. I really have never had a meal prepared by someone in the nude that I

before and that I didn't know.

So when you said that Luann was saying, like, why would I, why should I be in

the room?

Okay, okay. You know what? Guess what? Guess what? I've got to talk to you

that. She should never say anything to me that's not, like, you are a wonderful

human being. Thank you so much. Those are the only words that she's ever said

about me.

Bethany and I, if we didn't step in, Luann could have lost everything that

important to her.

I don't want any credit. I don't give a... I don't know why it happens. You

should always say nice things to me. I don't know why it happens. It doesn't

matter. I should stay in any room I ever want, okay?

As far as I'm concerned, Luann's supposed to still be in the rehab room

acquired for her that she was supposed to be there two more weeks in that she

left to do a cabaret.

So she should be worrying about the room she's really supposed to be in, not

this room.

What is this little concoction? This is going to be the garnish for the soup.

Oh, I will not touch them.

Adrienne did some wonderful crispy parmesan. I'm angry.

Why are you angry? Can't any relationship be just pure and just be

we got this, we're in a good place?

What the f*** is that? No, it wasn't about you, it was about Lou. Lou's being

diva. Can you come have a conversation with me?

I'm going to have a heart attack.

How could Luann in any iteration say anything about me in any way ever in the

land? I don't believe it. I love tasting it. Okay, you got your fingers and

everything on you. Exactly. I think it's Sonia. I'm telling you, she's just

making drama.

I don't know. It sounds right. Why does Bea get the room? I'm the countess. I'm

doing my cabaret. I just came out of a treatment. It's tracking.

Barbara's like on the Jim Jones lawn.

With the purple Kool -Aid going down her gullet. You know, Barbara's, like, been

hypnotized. I would never do something like that. That would never happen.

I mean, you know, come on, Barbara.

I've texted her a bunch of times. She could have said, hey, babe, the room

you're going to be in tomorrow night, do you care if I stay in there tonight?

Right. Or do you care if I stay in there instead of you? What would I have said?

I don't give a f*** about staying in the church.

But you know what? She's the same Lou.

I was looking for another Lou. Don't think she's a different person.

Coming up.

Am I interrupting?

A little bit.

Okay, then I'll go back in.

Hello.

Where do we want to sit? How are you? Are we sitting?

Like three hours ago. Oh, my God.

How is it going with Dorinda? She came to me in my room today, and it's the

first time she really acknowledged it, and it was a heartfelt, like, I'm

you know, I own it. I feel bad about it. She actually said that? She said that.

I think let's just go forward. It's all good.

I'm just back to my childhood with Luann. I'm back to my mother and, like,

everything okay? Make sure everything's okay.

That's all we talk about at the cabaret. After Dennis died, we never talked

about Dennis.

We talked about her in the cabaret.

We always do. All right. Not too deep. What's going on over here?

Oh, we're just chatting.

Am I interrupting?

A little bit.

Okay, then I'll turn around and go back in. I got my own stuff to deal with

inside the kitchen.

I'll be back. I just wanted to say hey. Hey.

I love her to death, but I don't care.

It's a lot. It's grandiose. That was grandiose. I've been hearing this a lot,

but I haven't experienced it. I have experienced it, but I've been not

with it. That's what she takes. As long as she stays sober, I don't really care.

Take my room.

Kill the queen. I don't care. I feel that Dennis' passing has changed me.

I'm just chill.

So I feel like me coming into this situation and not picking every battle

being so heightened could be helpful.

I want to be good with her. I want her to be healthy. I did my part in this

world for what I felt needed to happen at that time. She has no self

Very little self -awareness. No.

But you know what?

The minute you accept that with Luann and you realize it's not harmful or

hurtful or just is who she is, you can then have a relationship with her. But I

don't go deep with Luann. She's not going to get there. So I just say, oh,

that's great. No, I don't need to get there. It's like a boyfriend. You're not

getting that deep with. Yes.

How pretty does the table look?

Nice. Maybe I'll change where, like, where... I'd be really offended if you

changed because you're sitting next to me. I want to sit here. Who's sitting

here? Dorinda. At the head of the table?

Dorinda, the... Oh, sorry.

Okay, right. I guess so.

Who does she think she is?

You're a guest.

Not your house, bitch.

I'm just used to being the boss. What could I say? I'm sorry.

Well, okay, tonight... Tonight... Oh, that's me.

How's my name? Perfect.

That's going to be fun.

I thought she was going to sit here.

Can I?

You can't move it now.

Hi, Barbara.

Hi. Come in. Just don't, let's not spill on her. We got two bees here. She

hasn't even taken her jeans off. No, no, it's fine. Her vagina has not even seen

a day of light.

Maybe it has. Maybe it has.

Sonia peeks early.

I know what I'm getting. I know this animal.

Those are very nice pajamas. They are? I just like to be in pajamas. You look so

comfortable.

You're trying to f*** my girlfriend's up.

What? Because it's not happening. I love V. You just hit the scene. Calm down.

She's in a contained environment, and if I have to install padded cell walls, we

can do that, too. We know where we are. We're safe. We're all together in a

house. All right, you want to be in the middle? Whoa, come here. We get in the

middle on the other beach. I'm everyone's type. Oh, watch out.

Blue I have. Give her the forearm.

Where are you going with this, Sonia? She's having fun. It's one of her

It's one of her nights, and I like it. Once in a while, she busts out. What?

I'm busting out tonight.

God knows I loved drinking.

Oh, I like your jumpsuit.

Whoops. Oh, my God. Are you okay?

You fell in the bushes.

But watching the women drink is kind of like seeing a 3 -D movie, and you forgot

your goggles. It's like...

This is not I can't comprehend this anymore. No, but I'll take care of her

let's

just be okay

I know I'm hot. Can I have sex with you? You cannot. Let's get in here.

Come in. It's free. Come here. I love you. You're so hot. You're so skinny.

But your jeans are made for bigger girls, too. So I do give you.

The average American is big.

The average girl is huge.

You've got a little belly right now. You know what? Can you concentrate on my

good things?

Come on, get real.

I have a great body image, great legs, great boobs, great arms, hotter than

Bethany said, don't worry, you're sleeping with me. I'm not sleeping with

Barbara tonight. I said, okay, good.

Good. Just sleeping. Yeah, no sex. I'm not gay. Right.

But I said, I don't like that.

You're cheating on her because you are. Oh, she don't care.

Sonia can't find a middle ground.

She's an extremist. She's either all in or all out.

Sonia, careful.

And I just wish when it comes to drinking, she was more moderate.

Sonia, can we pace you a little bit? I don't drink.

Coming up... You don't touch the Pink Morgan letters!

Okay.

Let

me see. Let me

check out this outfit.

God, you got naked. Because seriously, these girls, like, have been dying for

it. Can you do me a favor? Wait, wait. Oh, my lord!

Can you, Tinsley, can you do me a favor and round up the girls?

Okay.

It's time. You guys, girls, he's naked!

The kids are waiting to see this.

The hairy butt was quite a surprise.

I'm not quite sure how you sell that.

How do you sell a hairy butt?

The fact that the naked chef has a lot of hair all over his body, that

wasn't too appealing to me. I thought he had like little boxers on, okay? I

wasn't prepared to see that.

No, this is don't, food and naked, no, does not work, ever.

Homemade biscuits.

The buns match his buns, don't they?

Yes, ma 'am. I like the hairy naked chef.

He's nice. He's passionate.

Buon appetito a tutti.

Just keep your balls away from my soup.

Does everybody have their drink of choice?

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, thanks.

Dorinda went to get it. No, no, no, no, no. I want a jam. No, no, go away. Go

away. No, yeah.

No, I want a jam. As Sonia's good friend, I really need to curb her

right now and keep her in check. I'd want Sonia to do the same for me.

Not that I ever needed her to.

Thank you, Dorinda, for hosting the show.

Thank you. Having the courage to have us.

Cheers. One more year.

I love my room.

Very cozy.

It all works out for me.

No, I probably overreacted last night, but it was my reaction.

It's so not me. I should have thought about it. You're going in your bed.

in the shark room.

And no one is joining you in the shark room. I might go to Bethany's or

bed. You come near her room tonight, I'm going to punch your face out.

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? She's talking about the

truth. She's talking.

I'm talking the truth.

My truth is that.

By the way, try to go in Luann's room and see what happens.

Oh, with that, I'm going to take off my jacket. Get her even crazier.

Oh, my God, Luann, your boobs look amazing.

Thank you, sir.

I can't stop looking at them.

Do me one favor. Drink that glass of water before you drink it. Just drink

glass of water. One glass of water.

Listen, you're going all in. Look at me, Sonia. This is you tonight. I just want

to understand. Take a shot with that water. I see you. I see you.

There's a line in Spinal Tap.

This one goes to 11.

No, Sonia's at a 15.

We are going all night.

We're going to the wheels.

Don't hurt the dog. Don't hurt the dog. Put the dog down.

Put the dog down. Put the dog down. Sonia, put the dog down.

Sonia is now literally out of control.

And she has Coco up in the air. And when she's like this, so wasted, I don't

want her holding Coco. I'm going to take Coco.

Coco. Coco.

I'm confused. This is a square one. What is this one? So I have the big one from

Dennis. And on the marquee, I collect diamonds.

I have a cushion diamond from Richard. I never wear it. Oh, God. Here we go.

I think Dorinda's biggest problem about me bringing up my ex

is that he was a Morgan.

She's with John, and she doesn't really want to be with John, but she likes

John. And he's Joe Schmo.

She took you today to the Morgan house because that was like a peace treaty.

I said, look at these antiques. And during the quarter, Paul's all over

letters. You go in that house, you don't touch those fucking letters.

You don't touch the pink Morgan letters.

I'm sorry you feel so upset.

Okay.

next time on The Real Housewives of New York City.

This is an epic night.

Wow, you look spectacular.

You're amazing as always, Dee.

That's weird.

Bethany's upset because I said you should have given me that room. Let's

Bethany happy.

Bethany, Bethany, Bethany.

My dad chose drinking over his family. You know, drinking is a disease.

Stop being an interloper.

I'm sitting in the group. I'm not going to stay out of it. Stop being an

interloper. Make me.

I dare you to call Scott, tell him he's the love of your life. I'm not calling

him because I'm not putting him on blast with girlfriends.

You can't just be happy when it's his terms.

It doesn't work that way. It does in his life. Well, it's not going to work in

your life.

For more on the Real Housewives, go to BravoTV .com.