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♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,440
♪ Gonna have myself a time
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00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:13,880
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,750
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:16,970
♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,930
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
7
00:00:18,930 --> 00:00:20,670
♪ Ample parking day
or night ♪
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00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:22,450
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
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00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:23,670
♪ I'm headin' on down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,800
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:30,330
♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,110
♪ And meet some friends
of mine ♪
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00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,520
How was school today, bud?
14
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:53,400
It was fine.
15
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,960
Look, Stan, I know it's been
really hard for you
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00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,920
the past month,
with us not having a home.
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00:00:58,050 --> 00:00:59,920
Yeah, it sucks.
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00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,490
I've tried to find work,
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00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:02,970
but there's just not a lot
out there.
20
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,320
And with
the government shutdown,
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00:01:04,450 --> 00:01:07,190
I can't get my job back
with the USGS.
22
00:01:07,190 --> 00:01:10,500
Times are hard,
and I know we all miss Tegridy.
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00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,410
I don't miss Tegridy, Dad.
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00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,550
I just hate that our family
is living in a motel.
25
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,160
It's really embarrassing.
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00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,420
Well, that's what
I need to tell you, Stan.
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There's some good news--
we're moving out of the motel.
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00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:24,170
Wait, really?
We can live in a house again?
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00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:26,730
Well, no, we can't afford
a house, so...
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we're moving in
with your grandpa.
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Moving in with Grandpa?
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This is a bunch of bull crap!
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First you stick me
in this place,
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and then you all come along?
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Pretty nice, huh, guys?
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00:01:42,050 --> 00:01:43,840
There's a TV, a microwave,
37
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and we have Bingo on Thursdays.
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There has to be somewhere else
we can live.
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00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,500
Come on, Stan.
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00:01:49,630 --> 00:01:51,980
You have that space over there
by Grandpa's shit pan.
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00:01:52,060 --> 00:01:53,590
You can't make me stay here.
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This is completely inhumane.
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That's what I said!
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Didn't work.
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00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,780
OK, so then over here
is where you're gonna have
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00:02:17,870 --> 00:02:20,180
the big golden pillars
that you guys wanted.
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Ah, yeah! That's great!
48
00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:23,350
OK, and then right over here
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00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,230
is where we're gonna put
your dance floor.
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All right!
51
00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:28,450
Wait, dance floor?
52
00:02:28,530 --> 00:02:30,580
I thought we were
knocking the East Wing down
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to make room for the nursery.
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- The what?
- The nursery!
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00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:38,500
You said all this remodeling
was for the baby,
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not to make room for more
of your stupid parties.
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Hey, relax, guy!
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We can just stick the baby
in the bathroom or something.
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00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:49,990
Wow! OK, so obviously I have
no say in this remodel.
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00:02:49,990 --> 00:02:51,560
Mr. President, sir.
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I'm very sorry, but we need to
speak with you urgently.
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It's a matter
of national security.
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00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:03,050
We don't want to frighten you,
Mr. President,
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00:03:03,130 --> 00:03:05,700
but we've received intelligence
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that someone might be trying to
stop your baby from being born.
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What?
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00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,710
Who?
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00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,100
Hey! Relax, guy!
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00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,930
We don't know who yet, sir,
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00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:20,370
but Pam Bondi has been
looking into it.
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That's right, sir,
we won't let any harm
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come to the baby of the greatest
president that ever lived.
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You are without equal, sir--
- Uh, hey, Pam.
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00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:29,330
And we are honored to be--
Pam. Pam, sorry.
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00:03:29,330 --> 00:03:31,420
You got a little shit
on your nose there.
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00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:34,250
Oh, do I?
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Did I get it?
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00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,730
No, it's still there.
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00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:39,000
If someone is trying
to harm the baby,
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00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,870
then we must know who.
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00:03:40,870 --> 00:03:44,220
Well, there is...
one theory.
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Some people believe that
by demolishing the East Wing,
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00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:56,490
we may have unleashed
some sort of... wrath.
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00:03:57,750 --> 00:04:00,710
What kind of wrath?
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00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,020
Vengeful...
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00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,280
wrath.
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00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:20,520
What the hell is going on?
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00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,130
I was supposed to be
in Washington.
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00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,780
There has been a change
in plan, Mr. Thiel.
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00:04:25,910 --> 00:04:28,920
They are on to us
at the White House.
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00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:30,310
But how?
92
00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:32,400
How did they find out?
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00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,360
Someone must have heard us
talking.
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00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:36,750
Do you still have the child?
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00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:38,140
Yes, he's here.
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00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:40,360
I have him heavily sedated.
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It should last
another six, seven hours.
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Six, seven!
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00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:47,590
But I can't keep him here
forever.
100
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:51,420
You'll just have to wait
until it is safe.
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I think some brownnoser here
is after my job.
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00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:07,350
Hey.
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Come on in.
104
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:16,220
You guys can't tell anybody
that I'm living here.
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00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,220
Stan, you shouldn't be
embarrassed, all right?
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00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,790
Everyone's having a hard time
right now.
107
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,530
Yeah, everyone's having
a hard time.
108
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:22,970
And you know what
the problem is?
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00:05:22,970 --> 00:05:24,360
Nobody's doing anything
about it.
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00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:25,750
How many weeks has it been now,
111
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,060
dealing with one stupid thing
after another?
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00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,590
The truth is, I think a lot of
people are just afraid to admit
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that South Park sucks now.
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South Park sucks now?
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00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,240
Yeah, everyone knows it.
South Park sucks now.
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00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,200
And it's because of
all this political shit.
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00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,250
We're just getting totally
bogged down in it.
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Remember when we
used to do stuff?
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Just us guys?
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00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:45,910
Ever since all this
political crap took over,
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it's like--what?
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Like--like what happened to us?
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Like, Kenny, I haven't even
heard you say anything
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in, like, four months.
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You see? That's what I mean!
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We don't even know what to say.
127
00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:59,220
South Park's getting ruined,
and all of us Gen Alpha kids
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00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:00,660
are just sitting here,
watching it happen.
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00:06:00,790 --> 00:06:02,840
- You're right, dude.
- Yeah!
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00:06:02,970 --> 00:06:04,180
But what do we do?
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00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,930
I know exactly what to do.
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00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,230
Hey, guys,
are you sick and tired
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00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,540
of what's happening to our town?
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00:06:12,670 --> 00:06:14,800
Do you feel like it's broken
and going nowhere?
135
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,460
Then click below
and join our online community
136
00:06:16,590 --> 00:06:18,070
at South Park Sucks Now.
137
00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:19,500
Things are clearly
not right here,
138
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,030
and if you're like us,
you are fed up!
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00:06:21,030 --> 00:06:22,510
South Park Sucks Now!
140
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,810
So please, like and subscribe,
smash the button, upvote--
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00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:26,080
whatever the hell
you need to do,
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00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:29,170
because together,
we can make a difference.
143
00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:37,260
Mr. President,
we don't want you to be afraid.
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00:06:37,350 --> 00:06:40,440
Tell us exactly what it is
you think you saw.
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00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:44,400
Ever since I tore down
the East Wing, there's...
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00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:46,180
this thing
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00:06:46,180 --> 00:06:49,100
that keeps appearing.
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00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:51,930
What kind of thing?
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00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:54,190
Sometimes I see it
in a mirror.
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00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:56,110
Or in the hallway.
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00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,280
President Trump,
you are an incredible man.
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00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:00,540
Whatever this is,
we have your back.
153
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,890
Uh, Pam. Pam, you got some
shit on your nose again.
154
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,850
Oh, really?
155
00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:07,460
Mr. President,
this entity you speak of,
156
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,290
how many times has it appeared?
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00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:11,950
It appears more and more
lately.
158
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,640
I-I can't get away from it.
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00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,950
It's everywhere I go.
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00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,910
It's here right now.
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00:07:18,910 --> 00:07:20,260
In the corner.
162
00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:27,880
I'm pretty sure
that's your wife, sir.
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00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:29,750
My wife?
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00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,270
What does it want?
165
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,930
Maybe it's somehow
trying to communicate.
166
00:07:36,930 --> 00:07:39,110
Don't worry, we won't let
anything happen to you.
167
00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:40,720
Ah!
Where did Pam Bondi go?
168
00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:42,940
- What?
- Pam Bondi! She's gone!
169
00:07:43,070 --> 00:07:44,460
But she was sitting
right here!
170
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:45,500
- Pam?
- Pam?
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00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:47,160
Where's Pam Bondi?
172
00:07:47,290 --> 00:07:48,640
I'm right here, sir!
173
00:07:48,770 --> 00:07:51,200
- Look, it's back.
- What's back?
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00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,900
You've got some shit
on your nose again.
175
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:55,560
Oh, my God! What is going on?
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00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,080
That thing!
It's not there anymore.
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00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,430
Ah!
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00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,270
Good morning, seniors.
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00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:12,140
It's 6:30 a.m.
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00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:14,270
Rise and shine
for your morning medication.
181
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,360
Ugh, God, 6:30?
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00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:18,280
Yeah, it fucking sucks,
doesn't it?
183
00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:27,760
Holy shit.
184
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:28,810
What?
185
00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:30,550
Holy shit.
186
00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:33,680
756,000 likes, you guys.
187
00:08:33,810 --> 00:08:36,030
We just built a massive
online community.
188
00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:38,380
Wow. I can't believe
how many people agree with us.
189
00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:40,340
I thought we could get 50 or
60 kids from school to sign up,
190
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:41,860
but this is incredible.
191
00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:43,210
All right,
we've got everyone's attention.
192
00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:44,390
So what do we do now?
193
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,220
What do you mean, dude?
It's obvious.
194
00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:47,740
It's time for phase two.
195
00:08:50,390 --> 00:08:52,440
Hey, guys, if you've come here,
196
00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:54,620
then you're likely joining
the chorus of voices
197
00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:57,010
that's fed up with the direction
our town is going.
198
00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:59,620
We all want change
in our community.
199
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,540
And now there's an opportunity
200
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:03,840
to truly make your voices heard.
201
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:08,020
Introducing the South Park
Sucks Now cryptocurrency coin.
202
00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:10,020
This digital meme token
is your way to be a part
203
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:12,070
of the fastest-growing community
in America.
204
00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:14,200
This used to be a great town
before all the politics came
205
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,460
and ruined it all.
206
00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:16,770
Get in on our crypto meme coin
207
00:09:16,770 --> 00:09:18,340
with this incredible
presale offer.
208
00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:19,990
Each coin is just $9.95,
209
00:09:19,990 --> 00:09:21,600
but could be worth
ten times that overnight!
210
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:23,210
Wait, a meme coin?
211
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:24,910
Do you want South Park
to change?
212
00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:27,780
Then order your coin today
at SouthParkSucksNow.com.
213
00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:29,000
Stan Marsh is not
a financial advisor
214
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,040
affiliated with
any financial institution.
215
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,000
Digital assets
are highly volatile
216
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,000
and may involve
significant risk,
217
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,090
including loss of all funds.
218
00:09:33,220 --> 00:09:34,660
Ownership of South Park
Sucks Now Coin
219
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:35,700
does not represent equity,
profit sharing, or ownership
220
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,140
of any company platform
or project.
221
00:09:37,270 --> 00:09:38,270
Participation is voluntary
and should only be undertaken
222
00:09:38,270 --> 00:09:39,230
by individuals who fully
understand the risks
223
00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:40,490
associated with
block chain assets.
224
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:41,880
South Park Sucks Now Coin
is not registered with
225
00:09:41,970 --> 00:09:43,320
or regulated by the SEC
or any financial authority.
226
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:44,750
Please review all disclosures
and consult a licensed financial
227
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:45,360
advisor before engaging in
digital asset transactions.
228
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:37,410
Ahh!
229
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,630
Ah, fuck!
230
00:10:38,630 --> 00:10:40,330
Fuck!
- What?
231
00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:42,900
It's the Woman in the Hat!
232
00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:44,330
What are you talking about?
233
00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:45,510
The Woman in the Hat!
234
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,900
She's in the fucking bathroom!
235
00:10:50,510 --> 00:10:52,300
We've double checked
everything, sir.
236
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:53,860
All the exterior doors
are locked.
237
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,650
No windows have been breached.
238
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:57,170
And yet the president swears
239
00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:58,700
something was
in the room with him.
240
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,130
Is he going to be all right?
241
00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:01,480
Pretty shaken.
242
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,960
Pam Bondi is in there now
243
00:11:03,050 --> 00:11:04,530
trying to calm him down
and make him feel better.
244
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,440
Pam?
245
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,880
Oh, my God!
246
00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:20,410
Stan, what are we doing?
247
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:22,680
What do you mean, dude?
We're trying to change things.
248
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,200
By selling cryptocurrency?
249
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,070
What's wrong with trying
to make a little money
250
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,330
while also pointing out the
things wrong with our town?
251
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:30,600
Yeah, what's wrong with that?
252
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,860
I have to do something, Kyle.
253
00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:34,040
I'm nine years old
and I live in a retirement home.
254
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,340
And you really think
crypto is your way out?
255
00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:38,780
Do you even know anything
about how that stuff works?
256
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:41,390
Well, actually, we have
a really strong crypto advisor--
257
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,740
your cousin on the east coast.
258
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,480
My cousin?
259
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,830
I'm back!
260
00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:49,400
All right, looks like
we've got a lot of movement
261
00:11:49,530 --> 00:11:50,570
on your coin, boys.
262
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,450
The presale really popped.
263
00:11:52,530 --> 00:11:54,580
We cleared 100 grand in volume
before liquidity even locked.
264
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:56,190
The token's really got traction.
265
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,450
And we don't ever have to pay
anything, right?
266
00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:00,720
Nope, you never pay anything.
You guys created the coin,
267
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:01,930
so all you do is profit from it.
268
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:03,330
See? I told you.
269
00:12:05,020 --> 00:12:06,240
Now we just need to keep
creating hype
270
00:12:06,370 --> 00:12:08,240
around the South Park Sucks Now
digital coin,
271
00:12:08,330 --> 00:12:10,200
so we need to come up with
things to give people FOMO
272
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,160
and make them ape even harder.
273
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:14,160
You guys,
this isn't about a coin.
274
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:15,820
It's about a movement.
275
00:12:15,950 --> 00:12:17,170
Oh, that's really good.
276
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:18,640
Yeah, yeah, that's perfect.
277
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,260
"This isn't about a coin.
It's about a movement."
278
00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:22,610
Yeah, that's some savvy
Jew Jitsu right there.
279
00:12:22,690 --> 00:12:23,740
So what kind of time frame
are we looking at
280
00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:24,780
to get our money?
281
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:26,220
I need it as fast as possible.
282
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:27,960
Well, I think we're looking at
a classic rug pull
283
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:29,180
in just a few days.
284
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:30,870
Once we pump the coin
high as it'll go,
285
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,880
then I can register for an MSB
with the federal government.
286
00:12:33,010 --> 00:12:35,050
The federal government?
That sounds hard.
287
00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:36,840
Oh, no, it's gonna be easy.
288
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,100
The crypto corruption at the
White House is off the chain.
289
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:40,580
We're gonna screw a lot of
people out of their money, boys.
290
00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:42,320
It's gonna be fantastic.
291
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:56,250
Yes?
292
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:59,210
Uh, yes,
we're paranormal investigators.
293
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,770
We've been asked to come
and investigate
294
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,870
the mysterious Woman in the Hat.
295
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,650
I am Stephen Miller,
296
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:10,000
Senior Advisor to the President
for Immigration
297
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,610
and Domestic Policy.
298
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,350
Won't you...
299
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,970
come in?
300
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:24,930
Oh, my God, it's incredible.
301
00:13:25,060 --> 00:13:28,500
Subject is showing some kind of
viscous residue on her nose.
302
00:13:28,630 --> 00:13:30,670
Well, what the fuck is it?
303
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,070
Sometimes there's
a physical manifestation
304
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:34,680
of spiritual energy--
305
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,550
a bridge between
the spiritual world and ours.
306
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:41,640
In this case, it appears to be
some kind of rectoplasm.
307
00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:43,470
Rectoplasm?
308
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:44,910
What is it made of?
309
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,520
It's unbelievable!
310
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,870
The rectoplasm seems to be 54%
Filet-O-Fish sandwich!
311
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,300
Oh, my God!
312
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,350
I ate a Filet-O-Fish sandwich
last night!
313
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,260
- Jesus!
- And it's also...
314
00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:57,610
28% Taco Bell.
315
00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:59,140
Oh, my God!
316
00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:01,270
I ate Taco Bell this morning!
317
00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:02,710
What does it mean?
318
00:14:02,710 --> 00:14:06,710
And it's 14% its own cum.
319
00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:09,410
Oh, my God!
I ate--
320
00:14:13,850 --> 00:14:16,940
Hey! Pam! Deal with them!
321
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:21,510
This is a Fox News
Super Alert!
322
00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:24,290
Two paranormal investigators
were indicted today
323
00:14:24,290 --> 00:14:27,430
on federal charges
of falsifying data.
324
00:14:27,430 --> 00:14:30,130
The president said that the
bad people manipulated readings
325
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:32,780
and reports to make fake news.
326
00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:36,170
The charges were filed
by Attorney General Pam Bondi,
327
00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:38,740
who said that "the President
is a great man,
328
00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:40,920
even if he does
eat his own semen."
329
00:14:41,050 --> 00:14:42,400
In other news,
330
00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:45,140
many people are saying
that South Park sucks now.
331
00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:47,270
The small mountain town
in Colorado
332
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,140
has been a hotbed of political
activity in recent weeks,
333
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,890
and three local Gen Alpha boys
334
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:54,280
are vowing to put a stop to it.
335
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,890
OK, we're mooning.
336
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,590
We're mooning...
337
00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:00,020
All right, that's gotta be it.
338
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,940
OK, we're done mooning.
I think we're ready to dump.
339
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,120
OK, sounds good.
340
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,380
I'm on the Acela train
right now.
341
00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:09,160
I should be in DC by 6:30
to meet with Don Jr.
342
00:15:09,290 --> 00:15:10,430
Once I get
White House approval,
343
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:11,910
we should be able
to do the rug pull.
344
00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:15,000
- I'm out, dude.
- Kyle?
345
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:16,780
Kyle, wait!
346
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,390
Dude, you can't quit now.
347
00:15:19,390 --> 00:15:20,870
Do you know how much money
we're about to make?
348
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,610
I thought you were sick of the
way South Park was going, Stan.
349
00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:25,440
- I am!
- So then why are you trying
350
00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:26,790
to engineer a rug pull
351
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,230
in conjunction with
the federal government?
352
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,750
Bro, it's the world
we live in, OK?
353
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,360
I mean, at least we're being men
354
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:33,800
and taking some control.
355
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,800
Look at Kenny,
he--he's doing stuff now!
356
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,240
Yeah, dude, I'm doing stuff!
357
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,800
I know it sucks to be living
in an old folks home, Stan,
358
00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:40,940
but you can't fix things
359
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:42,680
if you're only thinking
about yourself.
360
00:16:05,350 --> 00:16:08,090
Yes?
361
00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:11,270
Uh, yes, I'm with the South
Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency.
362
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,750
We're trying to fuck a bunch of
people out of their money.
363
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,400
Is Don Jr. around?
364
00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:17,840
Ah, yes,
he's been expecting you.
365
00:16:17,970 --> 00:16:19,840
Do come in.
366
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,420
Oh, Jesus, it's a little
drafty in here.
367
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:31,330
You'll have to excuse
the conditions.
368
00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:34,510
The master has taken down the
East Wing and unleashed a wrath.
369
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:41,130
Oh, Jesus! It's a mummy!
370
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:44,090
No, no, that's just the head
of the FCC.
371
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,480
He's lost his freedom of speech.
372
00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:53,270
Come. Don Jr. is...
this way.
373
00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,750
Thanks so much for taking
my meeting, Don Jr.
374
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,710
We've got an incredible
crypto opportunity here
375
00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:04,710
and we just need your help
taking a big dump.
376
00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:06,190
That sounds really great.
377
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:09,200
There's nothing I like better
than a big crypto dump.
378
00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:11,330
So sorry I had to bug you
this late in the evening,
379
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,030
but time really is
of the essence here.
380
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,510
We need everyone to gather
in the dining room.
381
00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:19,900
Immediately.
382
00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:22,780
In the dining room? Why?
383
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:25,260
We are going to have a séance.
384
00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:29,040
It's time to confront
the spirit here.
385
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:32,090
The--the spirit? What spirit?
386
00:17:38,530 --> 00:17:39,790
Yeah, I can see
the price is going down.
387
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,140
What the hell is he doing?
388
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:42,530
He's not answering?
389
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:43,540
Hello, you've reached
390
00:17:43,670 --> 00:17:44,970
Pump and Dump
Crypto Advisors.
391
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:46,930
Let us know how we can help you
fuck people over.
392
00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:48,890
Just leave a message.
393
00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:50,630
Dude, what is going on?
394
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,370
Our token's value totally peaked
and it's starting to go down.
395
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,810
Whatever approval you have to
get at the White House,
396
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:56,290
we need it now!
397
00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:57,330
God damn it!
398
00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:02,600
I don't know, Kenny, OK?
Shut up already!
399
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,560
Oh, Jesus,
this is a little creepy.
400
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:12,430
Are we having dinner?
I'm allergic to dairy.
401
00:18:12,430 --> 00:18:15,310
Everyone, please put your
hands on the table.
402
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:23,400
I am speaking to the entity
in this house.
403
00:18:23,530 --> 00:18:25,270
Is this a good time
to talk turkey?
404
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,620
I just need to go over
some quick business.
405
00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:30,360
We know you are sad.
406
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,980
We know you are... lonely.
407
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:37,150
But we must ask you
to leave our president alone.
408
00:18:40,030 --> 00:18:42,640
Oh, my God,
this is really scary.
409
00:18:42,770 --> 00:18:45,210
The President
is a great man,
410
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:48,730
and he does not deserve
to be tormented like this.
411
00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:50,560
Pam! Pam!
412
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,560
Oh! Oh.
413
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,870
Restless spirit,
414
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,910
we only wish to communicate!
415
00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:02,750
Holy shit!
She's right fucking there!
416
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,230
What is that?
417
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:11,010
Deception!
418
00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:13,320
Boss,
maybe we should stop this.
419
00:19:13,450 --> 00:19:15,410
No! I wanna hear
what it has to say.
420
00:19:17,410 --> 00:19:19,890
Epstein!
421
00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:21,590
Uh, no, no.
You're right. Let's stop this.
422
00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:23,160
You!
423
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:26,990
What? You?
424
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:27,990
What did he do?
425
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,820
He lies!
426
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,950
Oh, you fucking bitch!
427
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,430
Corruption!
428
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,040
She's not possessed!
429
00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:39,960
Pam Bondi's trying to get
my fucking job!
430
00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:43,610
Oh, I can't do this!
431
00:19:43,610 --> 00:19:44,700
Lies!
432
00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:48,050
I gotta get out of here!
433
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:50,970
Oh, God!
434
00:19:51,050 --> 00:19:52,790
Oh!
435
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,840
OK! OK! It's all true!
436
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:59,580
We've been dealing in deception
and lies!
437
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,850
We've all been getting
filthy rich off of crypto!
438
00:20:01,980 --> 00:20:03,070
Oh, Jesus.
439
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:04,940
We've lied and we've cheated.
440
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:06,680
Crypto's just a giant money
laundering scheme
441
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:07,640
for the rich to get richer.
442
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,420
Please don't haunt us anymore!
443
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:10,680
We're sorry.
444
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,640
We're all very sorry!
445
00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:16,860
This is a Fox News!
446
00:20:16,990 --> 00:20:19,910
Agh! America!
447
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,350
A massive crypto fraud has
been exposed at the White House,
448
00:20:23,350 --> 00:20:25,870
and the perpetrator
has been indicted.
449
00:20:25,870 --> 00:20:28,530
A ghostly wrath that was
unleashed in the East Wing
450
00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:31,310
exposed the traitor
at a séance last night.
451
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,360
The traitor is now behind bars
and serving 10 years for fraud.
452
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:38,930
Charges, of course, were once
again filed by Pam Bondi,
453
00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:42,370
who said, "We will continue
to indict anyone
454
00:20:42,370 --> 00:20:45,670
who says bad stuff
about our amazing president."
455
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:52,030
I'm sorry, Kyle.
I should have listened to you.
456
00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:57,250
I guess there just no really
going back
457
00:20:57,250 --> 00:21:00,250
to the way things used to be.
458
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:01,910
Things will get back, Stan.
459
00:21:01,990 --> 00:21:03,130
I know it's hard to see
right now,
460
00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:06,130
but things will go back
to normal.
461
00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:08,520
And in the meantime,
we just have to make the most
462
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,350
of where we are.
463
00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:17,310
All right, seniors,
just move with the rhythm now.
464
00:21:18,790 --> 00:21:22,010
♪ If I didn't care ♪
465
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:24,710
Good! Good, seniors.
Nice!
466
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:29,370
♪ More than words can say ♪
467
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:34,550
♪ If I didn't care ♪
468
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:39,940
♪ Would I feel this way? ♪
469
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:46,080
♪ If this isn't love,
then why ♪
34160
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