All language subtitles for Crutchs01e08 Free Crutch.eng

Crutch is filmed in front
of a live studio audience.

Slowly.

Slowly. Be careful with my baby.

Dad, your barbecue pellets
are here.

Behold, my new smoker
in all its glory.

Careful. I want all of Harlem

to see Smoke-o-saurus Rex
before it lands.

Well, at that height,

I think all of Jersey's
gonna see it, too.

That's right.

I want this to be
the perfect end

of the summer barbecue
for Jamilah and my grandbabies

before they go back
to Minnesota.

I'm sure gonna miss them.

Yeah. I am, too.

You know,
now that they're leaving,

probably the perfect opportunity
to talk about your next tenant.

Definitely, because I need you

to do the lease
for my new renters.

Okay. Or you could
let me have it.

Can you afford to pay
hipster rent prices?

No. No, no, but I could do
a family and friends rate.

Jake, I already
have enough friends.

Besides, you've been paying
broke family rates all summer.

It's called freeloading.

All right.
We'll talk about this later.

Wow. Isn't she beautiful?

Oh, thank you, Francois.

Now, you know damn well
I ain't talking about you.

Whoo! That's a big smoker.

Looks like somebody's
compensating for something.

Anyway, I have confirmed
all the guests.

But the bad news is,

Violet wants to bring
that damn vegan lasagna.

[groans] I'd rather eat
a dead subway rat

than eat that lasagna.

Well, we'll just put it over

in the corner,
way, way in the back.

-That's a good idea.
-Mm-hmm.

You want me to bring my rum cake
to the barbecue?

Oh, uh, no, Miss Pearl.

We have you down for
a coconut upside down cake.

Yeah, but my rum cake is better.

Well, we don't want
your rum cake.

We want your
coconut upside down cake.

Okay, well, I'm gonna put rum
in it anyway. Ha.

? Tells it like it is?

? Crutch is here?

-? For friends, family, kids?
-CRUTCH: Yo, it's Francois!

-? Crutch is Crutchfield?
-? Crutch.?

Chicka-bow, chicka-bow,
chicka-bow-bow.

Chicka-bow,
chicka-bow, chicka-bow-bow.

Chicka-bow, chicka-bow,
chicka-bow-bow.

What are you so happy about?

Oh, my Realtor just called.

I get more rent money
for upstairs now

than I could at the beginning
of the summer.

-ANTOINETTE: Hmm.
-[chokes] Oh.

Wow, okay. Like, how much more?

Oh, I could afford
to start buying

name-brand trash bags again.

-We're back.
-JAKE: Hey.

Oh, how was it
going to seeing your dad?

It went by so fast,

but it was so fun
seeing Dad in person.

His beard is huge now.

-He looks like a wizard.
-Yeah.

He kept saying,
"You shall not pass!"

[laughs]

All right, kids, go upstairs
and wash up, yeah?

How was the visit for you?

Oh, you know, overall,
it was pleasant, you know?

It was good to see the facility,

and the kids obviously love
to see their father.

And it was comforting to know

that he's getting
the support he needs.

You can't go wrong with a place
with farms and hammocks.

Hey.

Thanks again for making
that all happen, Daddy.

Of course. You know I got you.

I know, and that's good

because I'm gonna need you
for another thing.

Well, you name it.

JAMILAH: All right,
so Andrew and I talked.

And although
we don't really know

where our relationship stands,

we both agreed that the best way
to pay off his gambling debts

is to sell the house.

Aw, damn.

I know how much
you love that house.

JAMILAH:
Yeah.

It's more than a house.
It's a home.

-JAKE: Yeah.
-Yeah, so, uh...

since we have no home
to go back to,

the three of us are gonna have
to stay here a little longer.

Say no more.
You and my grandkids, anything.

Plus, you can still work
at the store.

Thank you, Daddy.

CRUTCH:
Mmm.

Still my little girl.

Have you told Lisa and Mase yet?

No, I just haven't decided
when to do it.

Well, don't tell them
in the morning,

'cause it'll ruin their day.

And don't tell them before bed,
or they won't be able to sleep.

Bump all of that.
This is not up for discussion.

You got to rip the Band-Aid
off these kids.

Tell them the real.
It builds character.

I appreciate you, Dad,
but this is not the first time

I've had to give them bad news.

And I think it's important
for me to create a safe space

for them to process
their emotions.

What is there to process?

You made a decision.
That's what it is.

Process.

Very insightful, Dad.

I'll remember that next time
I don't feel seen at work.

[phone vibrating]

Excuse me.

Well, we're all here for you.

-Thank you.
-Yeah.

And I know I've been working
my ass off and I haven't

been able to see the kids
as much as I want to see them,

so I'm gonna step it up, too,
be more involved.

I'm going to be their "funcle."

-That's the fun uncle.
-Ah.

You didn't need to explain that.

Thanks, bro.
I thought you'd be irritated

because you're losing out
on the apartment again.

[Jake stammers]

Well, at least Dad's
taking it well.

Damn, damn, damn!

Oh, sorry. That was my Realtor.

I'm just processing my emotions

from losing
all that rent money again.

I'm sorry, Daddy.

Oh, don't worry about it,
Jamilah.

You and the kids can stay
as long as you want to.

'Cause family is God's
greatest blessing.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

CRUTCH:
Damn, damn, damn.

Sorry, it's just
leftover emotions.

?

Jake took them
to this new cookie place.

So they will come back
in a good mood,

I will tell them the news,

and we will all start
our new lives in Harlem.

He better get my black and white
cookie, I know that.

Well, thank you both
for being here.

It's gonna be really helpful
for them to see your faces

when I tell them the news.

-Well, I brought
my auntie emergency kit. -JAMILAH: Mm.

I got some Flamin' Hot Cheetos,
an iPad

and a roll of quarters 'cause
I got to do laundry later.

Yeah, when I say funcle,
you say Jake. Funcle!

-Jake!
-Funcle!

KIDS:
Jake!

Hey! Hey, guys. How was it?

It's so cool. You can see them
make the cookies right there.

Yeah. This has to be
my new favorite place.

Aw, thanks, bro,
for taking them.

I did my part.
Now the rest is up to you.

Did you get
my ebony and ivory cookie?

No, I didn't get your
ebony and ivory cookie, man.

Racist.

Uh, Lisa and Mase, have a seat.

All right, so I have
some pretty big news.

But I want you to know
this is a safe space

for you to express
all of your feelings.

-Okay.
-What's going on?

Your father and I have to sell
our home in Minnesota.

And for a lot of reasons,

like that this is close
to Dad's rehab,

and I have a new job here,

we're going to have to stay
in Harlem a little bit longer.

Wait, so what's gonna happen
with my hockey stuff?

Nana Kathy and Grandpa Joe
will make sure

all of our stuff gets packed.

What about my friends?

My school? My chess club?

We're gonna have to work
through all that, baby.

I'd rather go live with Nana.

She says I can come
stay with her.

Come on, Mase.

I-I'd better go.

You really funcled that up,
Jake.

? ?

Okay, Raven, Charlotte's Web.
What you got?

First of all, I hate spiders,

but I love that Charlotte
gave Wilbur the pig

the confidence he needed.

Ah, so what happened at the end?

Did you not read the book?

Yeah, I read the book.
I'm just testing you.

Charlotte sacrificed herself

to save Wilbur the pig
from being eaten.

Oh. Well, she saved the pig.

That's good, Raven. That's good.

What are you serving at your
barbecue, Mr. Crutchfield?

Oh, I-I'm having
vegetables and juice.

I was hoping for some pork ribs.

Hey, Raven.

Hi, Ms. Jamilah.

[sighs]

Lisa still giving you attitude
about staying in Harlem?

Yes, but she'll come around
when she's ready.

I just did not expect that.

Hmm. When you were their age,
parents are in charge.

And what we said goes. You know?

You learned to accept
life didn't always go your way.

And that's why my generation
is always triggered

and we need
emotional support animals.

[laughs]

What's so funny?

There goes that eyeroll again.

Lisa reminds me of you
when you were a little girl.

I think you met your match.

Oh, come on, I wasn't that bad.

No, you were worse. That's why
I always kept it 100 with you.

Dad, I respect
your point of view,

but you got to let me
raise my kids my way.

So where they at now?

Oh, they're with Uncle Jake.

He took them to
the Museum of Natural History.

Oh, that's that one
with the dinosaurs.

-That's a good one.
-Mm-hmm.

I just know I'm doing my part.

I'm gonna make this barbecue

the best they ever had
in Harlem, ever.

Oh, and I know
they're gonna love it.

-Mm-hmm.
-[chuckles]

Uh, hey, Flaco.

What's that?

It's the brine buckets.

Because of the osmosis,
it allows the meat

to hold more water,

making it more succulent
and delicious.

Whoo!
You talk your brine talk, Flaco.

Jamilah, watch the store.

Me and Flaco gonna get
this meat on the grill.

Oh, you're putting it on now?

But the party's
not till tomorrow.

Smoking is
a very delicate business.

It takes at least 20 hours
to get that perfect tenderness.

Me and Flaco are gonna be
on that roof all night.

Wow, Dad, you're really
getting into

-that new smoker.
-It's amazing.

I even got this app
your cousin Calvin

-told me about.
-Oh.

On my phone,
I can control everything.

Even the temperature.

By the way, papi,
I have some bad news.

What is it?

My wife wishes
to attend the barbecue.

[groans]

Tough break, Flaco.

What? I haven't seen Sofia
in so long.

-Why don't you want her to come?
-She's a killjoy.

I mean, I love my wife-
she's my first and last love-

but she spoils the mood
every time.

Don't worry about it.

We'll just put her back there
with the vegans.

Nobody will go back there.

? ?

That was so much fun.
Thanks, Funcle Jake!

-What are we doing tomorrow?
-Tomorrow?

Tomorrow's the barbecue.

That's in the afternoon.

I was thinking,
before the barbecue,

you can take us
to the Ice Cream Museum.

Yeah.

I got us VIP tickets
for us all set up.

All you have to do is pay.

Oh.

Oh, wow.

[chuckling]:
Okay, okay.

How about we just cut the games?
I know y'all are playing me.

Lisa made me do it.

Mase, Mase, it's-it's okay.

Just tell me
what's really going on.

I thought we were going back.

I can't believe this.
All my friends are in Minnesota.

Okay. Doesn't mean you should

up and go live
with your grandma Kathy.

Why not?

She was just here saying
that her door was always open.

And that we can stay with her
anytime we want.

Uncle Jake, you told me once
that you wanted a dog growing up

but Grandpa wouldn't let you
have one, right?

Right.

Where you going with this?

How would it make you feel

if in the spring
he promised to give you a dog

at the end of the summer,
and then didn't?

He's done that many times.
[chuckles]

And how'd it make you feel?

I'd rather not unpack that
right now,

but I get your point.

One summer, I even bought
a leash and a bowl.

Then he said,

[imitating Crutch]:
"No, Jake. I'm allergic."

I still have it.

?

[gasps] Crutch!

Flaco! Wake your asses up! Look!

-No!
-Oh, my God.

[whimpering]

Not my brisket.

Oh, Crutch, what did you do?

Check the app.

[coughing]

It says 400 degrees.

Yeah. That's way too hot.

I must've fell asleep
with the phone in my pocket

and butt-dialed the smoker.

[coughing]

Oh, I feel you, Crutch.

Because my ass
starts fires, too.

[coughing]

? ?

The guests are gonna
be here in four hours.

What's the plan?

I'm gonna open up the grill

and act surprised
when the meat ain't there.

Then I'm gonna blame
Violet the vegan.

In a world
where there are no bad ideas,

that's a bad idea.

Violet is already
a little bit unstable.

It's that fake cheese.

Let me ask you a question.

You think the way I parented
Jake and Jamilah was messed up?

Because she did say parenting
is different now.

It is.

If we had talked back
to our parents

the way Lisa did,

we wouldn't have made it
to the staircase.

I know that's right.

I know I ain't like
when nobody tried

to tell me how to raise my kids.

But it's hard for me
to just be on the sidelines

and say nothing.

Well, it's not like
you didn't offer anything.

I mean, you did give Jamilah
a place to stay

and you gave her a job
when she needed it.

You're right.
She should listen to me.

-Mm-hmm.
-You know, I wouldn't change

a damn thing.

Except for probably giving you
keys to the house.

Well, it's a good thing
I made copies, then, isn't it?

So what we gonna do
about this barbecue?

I mean, you do still have
that propane grill up there.

You remember that Fourth of July

when you burned all the burgers
and they was well, well done?

Mm-hmm. [laughs]

We had to settle
for White Castle.

[Antoinette laughs]

Last time I used that grill,
Harlem had crackheads.

Sure did. Now they got tourists.

[Crutch chuckles]

Hey. Is Jake here?

I got a text from him
saying that the kids

had something
they want to say to me.

No, not yet. Hey, baby, I got
a new idea for the barbecue.

We going old-school.

Burgers and franks!

Ooh. You all look serious.

They got that A-train
mean mug face on.

What gives?

Lisa and Mase asked me
to be their attorney.

I object!

And I said no.

Because I'm their uncle
and they don't need an attorney.

Overruled.

Thank you, Judge Toni.

If I was your lawyer,
I'd tell you

that you have the right
to remain silent.

But as your uncle...

I think you should talk
this one out with your mom.

All right?

Lisa and Mase,
the floor is yours.

In the beginning of the summer,

you said that we would be
staying here for a little while.

And now you're saying that
we're staying here for longer.

Uh-oh, here we go.

Eyerolls on deck.

We just wish we had some say.

Some say?
You better get them kids! I'm-

Daddy, I got this.

All right, I remember.
Different generation.

Yeah.

Sit right here in my safe space.

Mind my business.

-Not going to interject.
-Daddy!

Lisa, Mase.

You're right.

I know I told you we'd only
be here for a short time.

I thought so, too.

But things change.

But we're gonna work
through these changes together.

I promise.

I love you.

-Love you.
-Love you, too.

And since you all need a say,
I'm all ears, okay?

Well, since we're
staying here for longer,

can we visit Minnesota
next summer?

Done.

And can I join
the Harlem hockey team?

I already looked one up.
There's a rink on 110th Street.

And can we see Dad more often?

Of course. Just tell me when,
and we're there.

And one more thing.
We have to talk about a dog.

Okay, well, if you can
convince your grandfather,

-you can have a dog.
-It's not for us.

It's for Uncle Jake.

I'll get you a goldfish.
Walk that.

? ?

Hurry up. Where's the food?
I'm hungry.

Keep your muumuu on, Pearl.

The burgers and franks
will be done in five minutes.

Uh-uh, uh-uh.

Or you can live meat-free.

Who wants vegan lasagna?

[guests murmuring]

Ain't nobody want to eat
that dog vomit.

What's in it, Sister Violet?

Tofu, jackfruit and seitan.

Oh, no, no, I don't do Satan.

Mm-mm.

Oh, my grandkids are here.
Lisa and Mase!

[cheering]

-Look who else came.
-[gasps] Ms. Gwen.

Let me officially
welcome you to Harlem,

my beautiful brown thespians.

Girl, during college
my freshman year,

I went through a little thespian
phase with my roommate. [laughs]

She put too much rum
in that coconut cake.

Come check out
my grandpa's garden.

He calls it urban farming.

[laughter]

Oh, thanks so much
for bringing the kids.

It's really important for them
to know they have friends.

Not a problem.
And you should know,

the other day in improv class,

we did "Who are your heroes?"
and Lisa said you.

-Oh, really?
-Yes.

And who was Mase's hero?

Batman.

Figures.

Crutch, I just want to apologize
for my wife.

Why? Where's Sofia?

She's just over there,
talking everybody's head off.

That's why I volunteer at
the soup kitchen every holiday.

Oh, well, me being at Legal Aid,
maybe we can work together.

Great. 'Cause I would love

to make it
a year-round soup kitchen.

That's cool.
All right, all right.

See? It's like being married
to a rain cloud.

-What are you gonna do?
-And she brought a plus-one.

Look at this one over here.

Hello, Crutch.
This is such a great barbecue.

And I just came over here to
give my compliments to the chef.

Close your mouth, Crutch.

Uh, uh, nice to meet you.

-I'm Yvonne.
-Welcome to my roof.

Welcome to my fire escape.

Thanks, Big Head. You did great
with the kids today.

Yeah, I think I'm finally
getting the hang

of this whole uncle thing.

-Mm-hmm.
-But if your kids try

to retain me again,
I hope you have cash.

[gasps]

-Who is Dad talking to?
-Oh.

I don't know, but...

-it looks like he's flirting.
-Oh, shh.

So what does your husband
do for a living?

Oh, I don't have a man.

Well, good. Me, neither.

[laughs]

I don't have one, neither.

But I'm trying to work on it.

Hey, anybody want another slice
of my coconut rum cake?

Well, it looks like Dad's
really killing it over there.

JAKE:
Yeah. Oh.

Oh!

Oh, I think Daddy
just got digits.

[squeals] Good for him.

So don't be a stranger.

Oh, I won't.

[laughs]
Okay, I'm gonna head over there

and have a little bit
of that lasagna.

Oh, you're gonna eat that?

I'll try anything once.

I'm definitely gonna call you.

[laughs]

Okay, Crutchfields,
let's take a family picture

before somebody spills something
on their shirt.

Let's go.

Come on, Flaco, get in here.

Hold on, right there.

Let's do this quick.
Sofia's in the bathroom.

On three, say "Crutchfields."

One, two, three.

-ALL: Crutchfields!
-[camera clicks]

Well, baby...

I made it through
another summer. [chuckles]

Remember when you said

the only thing that was constant
was change?

You wasn't lying.

I can only imagine
what is next, baby.

Dad, did I miss the kids?

Jamilah said they're going
to their friend's house.

All right, guys,
let's go over this again.

Go straight
to where you're going

and text me when you get there.

And when you cross the street,
look both ways,

even if it's a one-way.

And keep your keys
around your neck,

but tuck 'em in
so nobody will snatch them.

Don't talk to strangers.

Especially if they wear
a Mets hat.

They got low self-esteem.

That's a lot of instructions.
Should we just take an Uber?

We're just going
to Raven's house.

And while you're there,
just be on your best behavior

-so you get invited back.
-You got this.

-Okay, there they go.
-Mm-hmm.

Oh, they made it.

I don't know why y'all tripping.

Raven live
right across the street.

All right, I got to keep people
out of prison.

Well, I got to keep people
in prison.

I'm gonna go open up the store.
I'll see you when you get there.

All right.

Oh. Flowers.

-Are you Jamilah Nellantal?
-Yeah.

You've been served.

Oh, my God.

Andrew's filing for divorce?

I'm gonna help you find
the best divorce lawyer, okay?

I can't believe the audacity.

Damn, damn, damn.

I got your back, baby.

We're Crutchfields.

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

? Sometimes life can deal you?

? A messed-up hand?

-? But when it hits the fan?
-? Hits the?

? Never fear?

? The Crutch is here?

? Crutchfield, Crutchfield?

? He keeps it real?

-? Crutchfield, whoa!?
-? Whoa!?

GIRL:
What's that, bro bro?

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