Original subtitles

Uh -huh. What?

You can stop smashing their brains apart.

They're in enough danger.

Psychopath giraffe wants to make you stop living because of that horrible

that happened at my birthday party. You had a birthday party? Oh, I wish we were

invited. You were, bacon brain.

Watch this exciting flashback.

Thank you all for the birthday presents. If you didn't get me one, you're under

arrest.

Who did that?

Wah -wah -wah -wah -wah, Wedgie!

Welcome to Wedgie Juices!

That's for Mother and I!

Happy birthday, Mr.

President! Stop that giraffe!

He gave me an atomic wedgie on the day of my birth.

What did we get the President for his birthday, anyway? A giant box of cement

bricks!

Congratulations. You caught the dangerous criminal that humiliated me.

Yeah. We did what to the who now when?

Mother and I are going to get you!

And you! And you! And you!

You'll see!

Medals of awesomeness for hog, reindeer, yellow sausage man, and tadpole.

Thanks to you guys, Psychopath Giraffe went to jail for the rest of his life.

That's what the plan was.

Unfortunately, he's escaped, knows where you live, and wants to make you stop

living.

Relax,

we have a solution.

You four will enter the Witness Protection Program and get new

I don't know what your words are.

Another excellent high five, citizens.

Now, if you're done, let's do this.

Unicorn. Present.

You'll be Mr.

Ninny, boring old businessman.

Sounds exciting.

And that, yellow beef machine, you are now a spectacular plumber.

I don't know anything about plums. Plums stink.

Agreed. Asparagus boy.

Actually, while you've been handing out costumes, I invented this brilliant

giraffe tracker.

You just touch this activate button, and we can locate the giraffe. What? No

time for nonsense.

You're a baby.

A baby?

I don't want to be a baby. You broke my giraffe tracker.

Who do I get to be?

Michael, you are Professor Mucho Brainso.

Pickle fire death.

Pig! Hey, where did Pig go? Yeah, and who are you, strange genius man?

Pig, you're back!

Whoa, those glasses make you look so smart, like a genuine genius.

I'll be the judge of that.

What are the two basic elements that make up beryllium?

All of the above.

Sounds right to me.

He's totally wrong, but he's the smartest -looking totally wrong I've

Professor Mucho Brains -o.

That's me.

He's supposed to be giving a big speech at the pickle conference, so you better

haul ham.

To the pickle conference!

Smut indeed.

Are you single?

I might know someone.

OK.

What a genius.

Are you single?

A taxi.

Fun. I am Professor Mucho Brains of Pickle Expert.

Take me to the pickle conference, please.

Hey,

you look just like

Let me find this pig and make him stop living.

He sure does look familiar and gorgeous.

He's probably at the pickle conference.

There's no time to waste.

Buckle up, mother.

Where did this guy get his license? I mean, me.

Is that that pig?

Oh, no.

Just the genius guy.

Is that a pig?

Genius guy.

It's a genius.

Is that a pig?

Genius guy. It's a genius.

I'm trying to get this pickle -powered rocket to the pickle conference.

Surely someone as brilliant as you can help.

Are you single?

Normally, I would totes for realsies take a look, but today is a me day, and

uh... If you don't help him, I'll just assume you're some kind of imposter

trying to pull a fast one on Mother and I, and I'll funeralize you!

And I'll fig that rocket.

You never answered my question about being single.

What's up with that?

Okay, Pig, keep it together.

If you just stay here long enough, he'll get bored and go away.

Ah!

Oh, yeah, this should be back here. Or this, this, this.

Oh, I see what's missing.

A pepperoni sparkle stick.

So, are you single or what?

That should do it.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome world -famous pickle expert, Professor

Mucho Brains -O.

Hello, pickle conference.

I'm about to lay down some sweet pickle science for you.

Where's that stupid ticket?

Ahem. In 1492, pickles sailed the ocean blue.

If the pickle doesn't fit, you must acquit.

Pickles, pickles, bo pickles, banana, fanna, foofy, fifeo, fanna, fanna,

pickles.

I got the pick.

Uh, uh, a pickle, a congressman, and a donkey walk into a candy store. And the

pickle says, you're that pig.

Life is like a box of pickles.

It's a genius garbage can.

Go!

First day on the job, the boss is going to love my can -do attitude.

I mean, who wouldn't love me?

You'd have to be crazy. I'm rocking here!

Have we met before?

Maybe at an atomic wedgie party?

Psychobapture.

birthday parties for presidents, and I would never turn you in to the police.

I mean, I have to file my briefcase and spreadsheet these meetings all the day.

Phew!

Bones! What in the name of Paul Revere's saddle stench is all the hullabaloo?

Thomas Jefferson, my arch enemy.

Hello! My name is Mr.

Ninny, and I am definitely not hiding from the crazy giraffe.

Well, I should hope not. This is an establishment of serious work, not some

of pinko Lincoln nonsense factory. Understand?

I sure do.

I mean, I sure do.

Hmm. Accompany me this way, Mr. Ninny.

I need 2 ,000 copies of the original Declaration of Independence.

What's the decoration of the independence?

Oh, okay. I'll just use it to copy machine and then I'll... Copy machine?

How dare thee!

You will use the quill!

The quill? I still use it to quill.

That's like the second dumbest way to write something down right after mustard

on a little sticky.

My dear, I'll have thee know that I am a serial quiller. And you will use a

quill or you'll find yourself out of the street!

Then the quill it is.

Boy, he's a real quill buster.

Yeah, he doesn't like any fun or excitement or smiling or laughing, just

quilling.

Who needs that? I don't even work here.

Oh,

I should have got this neck rash looked at.

It makes it so much more fun if we can shake our groove thing while we work.

Never mind that grumpy old Thomas Jefferson.

Forget him. I thumb my nose at him.

How'd you like to see 50 stars?

I feel like this is a trick question.

Works. Or I'll liberate your teeth!

Okay, okay.

Quillax, Bruce.

Come on, guys.

Are you gonna let him boss you around?

Or do you want to watch me bump?

And watch me ding -dong?

Mr.

Ninny!

None of your work was done in silence.

You must now start over, or I will emancipate you from this job!

Oh, really?

Quill him!

I think I just made a Louisiana purchase in my shorts.

Where would you like to go?

I'll get out here, actually.

Cracker!

Oh, it's me. This is ridiculous.

If you would just use my giraffe tracker, we could have already

Close your mouth!

I already found you a good home. Now just keep being a baby until we come up

with some way to find that giraffe.

Oh, my.

A baby.

How adorable.

I have always wanted a baby.

location device activated.

Oh, is this your little toy?

It is not playtime, baby.

Mommy has to change your diaper.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Stop.

I'm a bug of science.

Now, you be a good baby and take a nap while Mama gets ready for her hot date.

Finally, I can get to my tracker without Mama Muy Loco pampering my

unmentionables.

Oh, Psycho G, I'm still getting ready.

Why don't you make friends with my new baby?

Cricket, Psychopath Giraffe is now in the house.

Shh, I'm aware.

I mean, I'm a baby, I'm a baby.

Oh, you're one of them little babies, huh?

Tucker, please notify police. Did not understand.

Please speak clearly.

Huh? Where's that sound coming from?

Oh, dear, Psycho G. And feed my baby. He sounds a bit fussy.

Mother and I don't like cute babies.

It's a drain.

It got a hand clog.

Of course it does.

Take me to your bathroom.

It's right there.

Let me talk.

Nope. Nope, thank you. Not going in there. No way. Well, ain't that your job

there, little yellow hot dog?

I'm not a hot dog.

And I'm not a plumber.

I'm just hiding from that crazy psychopath giraffe.

Huh?

that ifin' this Chirite feller found ye, it would be bad.

Yeah, duh.

All right, then I guess you really don't want us a -tellin' him where you is at,

do you? You wouldn't. Oh, yeah, sure we would.

Oh, gosh.

One unhammed clogged drain comin' up.

I can't get up.

No, I got you. Get back here.

You mean it was easy like?

No. I mean, clogging your drain was a piece of cake.

Well, kick the dog and spit in the fire.

I've been looking for that cake.

You sure did fix it, good fake plumber.

Well, looky here.

Now I'm clogged up with cake, too.

Yeah, we just gave you a real nice review on that there internet.

But I don't want any more customers.

No good goopy turkeys?

Hey, it's me, a very real plumber. How can I help you? And make it

snappy poppy.

Bushy, bushy, tiny plumber. Let me show you the problem.

I got no pressure, bro tendo, and no water means no cup of noodles.

That's it? Sounds easy.

Awesome. Bushy, bushy.

Hmm, okay. I'll just get Willy's water turned on, and then it's right back to

Mega Snot Blaster Hero.

Simple as that.

Better get a closer look.

Oh,

here's the problem.

Come on, you stupid knot!

How's it going, Plumber Broseph?

Fine.

Totally fixed!

Sweet!

If the customer's happy, I'm happy.

Oh, not again!

How many pipes are there in this town?

I'm okay, bro's up.

I'm here to fix your...

What seems to be the problem, psychopath?

I mean, strange person I've never met before?

I was trying to flush these nitwits down the commode, but they won't flush.

Can you fix it, or am I going to find out that you're not really a plumber?

Oh, of course I'm a plumber.

Don't be ridiculous.

What do you think? I'm some kind of not a plumber?

Don't worry, guys. I'll get you out.

I got an idea.

Just follow my lead.

I'll get right on it. But you should probably put out that fire.

Fire? Where?

Fire. Everybody run.

Pardon me.

I'm a very important business baby, and I'm late for a meeting.

Oh. Oh, yes. Please, don't let me keep you, Mr. Business Baby.

Thank you, young man.

Are you single?

You know, just checking.

Oh, all of you, huh?

It's time for me to silence.

A woman lady reported a baby napping, and we found this, which led us here.

You're welcome.

Hey,

that's my giraffe tracker.

I'm the one that made that. Me, tadpole guy.

I mean, cricket.

Yeah, whatever.

Congratulations. You all received the Medal of Super Awesome Courage.

Here you go, Ralph -o, Matt, Buddy, Samson, Roller Ski,

and Psychopath Giraffe.

has won the prestigious Wedgie King Medal.

Congratulations.

Wait, you're the bad guy. Oh, yeah, he's going to jail too.

Wow,

what an amazing adventure we had.

Yeah, we had ice cream and built a fort. Ooh, and saw fireworks.

Wait, we didn't do any of those things.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Bingo!