Original subtitles

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's the stuff. Yes, yeah.

Hey, it's proud.

You got back dandruff all over.

I know.

My new shampoo gives me extra back dandruff. Want some?

No. And give me that.

I'm so sorry, baby.

Hey, what are you guys up to?

Oh, yeah.

Close your mouth when you're eating.

By the way, what is that?

Your money.

What beautiful money.

I haven't seen Bergerstein.

Coming at you.

Next time Pig asks you on a play date up his

nose, say no.

That's it.

It's time for us to consult the roommate bill of rights.

Rule number two says, if you can't respect your roommate and their stuff,

outie.

Wait. I can change.

I can change.

Hey, you.

Are you a complete sloth? No.

Yes. Do people say you make them utterly sick?

No. Yes.

Do you live on this planet?

I think so. If you call this living.

Then you need Owl Woman Ladies Charm School.

Guaranteed to make you charming.

Side effects may include headache, dizziness, armpit tenderness.

Armpit tenderness?

Excellent.

Charm school!

I know what will make my roomie son mad at me.

Charm school!

Here I come!

I guess it's closed. That's okay, I can wait.

I'm here. I'm here. I'm ready to be charming now.

How dare you?

Can you help me, Lady Owl Woman Man, Lady Owl?

I have never met a slob that I could not transform into a beautiful unicorn of

charming manners.

You'll be my greatest challenge yet. We begin at once.

Now I'm going to teach you how to respect people's personal space.

What's personal space?

Tell me, okay? Tell me now!

I want to know!

Pee -yew, young swine! When was the last time you took a shower?

Let's see.

My birthday was two months ago. Carry the two and divide it by cake.

3 plus 6 equals piñata. So what's a shower?

Hoot -a -twop!

We have a shower emergency!

Looks like we'll need extreme power.

Now that is better, Hoot Hoot. What?

It's how I do.

I told you. I have never, ever, ever failed at making someone

charming. I get it. I get it. You're great.

I made the owl. woman, lady, guaranteed.

Presenting the chamber of charm.

Oh, the charmvenator.

I'm working on it.

Is that going to combine our DNA so you can make me charming from the inside out

and whatnot?

Well, actually... Yes!

The noinky -doinky -piggledy -doo!

Let's get this puppy rolling!

How dare you?

Thank you very much.

Ghost!

Fling -flingin' pig in his splard -tuggin' back dandruff.

That's better.

Friendship is the best ship.

Especially if that ship... A root.

I always write the best songs when we're together.

Rudy, you're my muse.

Remember when you were there for my first kiss?

And when I returned from my service in the army, you were there waiting.

And your root pumpkins were always the juiciest.

Oh, fond memories are so messy. Excuse me, don't you think? Please? Thank you.

You're welcome, Solid Fork Fancy Hat.

Pig? You look so, so... Charming? Thank you.

Yeah. You are one kind, refined swine. Look top.

I don't high -five anymore.

Germs, no thank you, please, but I can grant you a polite curtsy. Curtsy,

curtsy. Huh?

You're welcome.

Whoa. Excuse you. You're an eyesore and completely out of place.

My sundown this year, Root, will be no more because I'm going to tear it down.

And a dear, dear friend.

A friend that hurts your other friend is no friend to that friend of the friend

that that friend hurt.

What's happened to you, Pig?

The old Pig would never say that.

You're welcome. Excuse me. Thank you, Crystal Tea Towel. For what? Exactly.

Curtsy curtsy.

This route isn't going anywhere.

And neither am I.

Mary Louise Pizza Gut here with Action 2 News.

Local residents feud over a Bupa -lite landmark.

It's refined swine versus gross, smelly sorceress. Hey, I am not a sorceress!

What are your thoughts on the situation?

My name is Paul, and that's between y 'all.

What about you, ma 'am? My name is Steve, and I gotta leave.

Great. And you?

My name is Tom, but I'm really pig!

And this is Mac, but it's really an ass!

Thank you.

That was rude and uncalled for.

Give up, pig.

Rudy is staying.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah!

Curtsy, curtsy!

Rudy!

No!

What a charming pig.

Thank you very much. I believe that...

Tomorrow deserve a future with no roots.

Show them a future with no roots tonight.

Please, you're welcome. I'm sorry. Thank you. Please.

a bunch, goat. You really stood up for my armpit, Graham Graham.

What are you talking about?

Thank you. I've been to charm school.

And now, don't forget, chew your cheese pencil 6 ,542 .6 times before

swallowing. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven, eight. Greg, that charm school has made you into a

monster. Not the fun kind that shoots lasers out of his eyes and crushes cars

with his might.

The horrible, polite kind.

Greg! You didn't finish chewing!

Like a boss!

Whoa! It already has 2 ,000 views!

10 ,000!

It's going viral, Broseph Broccolini!

I'm Lewis Cluck, big -time business dude, and I'd love to know what you've

planned for your next big stunt!

Are you crazy? I'll never do something like that again!

Aw, that's too bad.

I need an extreme stuntman to promote my line of designer leather eyeballs.

The only leather eyeballs filled with butterscotch. And still the best.

Yum. But I guess you're not interested in this big bag of endorsement cash.

Endorsement cash? Wait, wait, wait, wait. With that cash, I gotta have it.

Great. The pass is yours. All you got to do is another insane, out -of -your

-mind stunt.

Sure.

Word is that you have another totally insane stunt planned.

When is it?

I'll let you know.

But first, I want to tell you about something that's very near and dear to

heart.

Lewis Cluck's designer leather eyeball.

Next question.

When's your next satisfying stunt already?

Uh, when?

Oh, no, but my next stunt would be impossible without Hot

Harry's non -horrific hot tub.

Demon.

Next question. It seems like you're never going to do another stunt. You're

obsessed with money. Do you even have another stunt planned?

Of course. I just, um... Are you stalling? No, no, I'm... What? Am I

How could I be stalling when I wrote down all the details right here, right

to this drain plug?

Come on, money.

Let's get out of here forever and never do any stunts. Banana.

Your next insane stunt is all ready to go. You're going to motorcycle down a 90

-foot ramp, blindfolded, then jump over a pool filled with 10 sharks.

I can't do that. Why not?

Because it's not dangerous enough. My fans demand more from me, like a

900 -foot ramp, 10 ,000 sharks, a motorcycle made of cobras.

And don't come back till you got it. We got it.

What?

Oh,

this

dress is making me hungry.

Hi, Banana. Please, thank you. Remember to choose 6 ,542 .6 times.

You again?

Oh, wait. That's it.

Sorry, people, but I'm not going anywhere until I chew 6 ,542 .6

times. It's for the best.

By the time I finish, everyone will be asleep, and I can get away simply as

Time to get out of here.

I'll just get on this motorcycle made out of cobras.

Wait, what?

Hey!

Stop!

I forgot about the cobras!

Banana, I heard you finished chewing your food.

Excuse me, but bravo. Hey, where did you come from?

Exactly. You're welcome. Thank you.

Mama's monkey!

I survived!

Did you guys see that?

Did we see what?

The stunt!

I did it! Did you?

Nope! If it's not on Secret Vids, it didn't happen.

But I did!

This is Mary Louise Pizza Gut reporting. Local stuntman Banana proves to be a

little yellow liar.

I really did it!

Johnny. Designer leather eyeballs.

Now with lemon ring.

Doesn't sponsor liars. Wow.

Guys, wait! No, guys, guys! My fame!

Oh, come on!

At least I still have my money.

Make sure you chew that money 6 ,542 .65, Mr.

Shark. Thank you.

Crickets!

I know someone who, hoot, hoot, needs a bath.

Eh? Is it, Banana?

That's with all the hubby.

Bob! Hey!

Keep it clean and tidy and everything will be all righty. For watchy -watchy

time, hoot!

Hey, what's with Pig all of a sudden? Oh, it's that charm school he went to.

Whatever they did really messed him up. He's way more annoying now.

Curtsy curtsy.

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I miss the old pig.

I miss my money.

That pig.

Me too, I think.

There, there, Goaty.

This new pig is much more of a hoot, hoot, hoot.

Whatever happened to him and that charmed fool is changing his DNA?

How dare you?

We don't.

Curtsy curtsy. We've got to help our friend become rude and gross again.

Follow me.

Look, pig, something really, really messy.

Well, hmm.

Ha!

Hang on.

Three, two, one.

Hmm.

Dirty roomies, where do you go?

eradicate his owl DNA before this clock runs out.

Let's get the pig's brain.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Where are the kidneys at?

What is that?

It's owl woman lady charm cells.

We'll be charmed as smithereens.

Swords?

for being so annoyingly charming.

And I'm sorry we asked you to change.

Yeah, you're way less obnoxious this way. Aw, you mean it?

Are you still too good for high fives? No way!