All language subtitles for McCloud S04E01 Butch Cassidy Rides Again b

an actual bank robbery.

Just put all the money you got
in this bag

and nobody will get hurt.

Stand and deliver!

They range
from 75 to 80 years of age

and so do their clothes
on their backs

and the guns in their hand.

You want me to go out there
and tell the world that

the Brinkman Security Agency
has decided

that the son of Butch Cassidy
is on the loose in Manhattan

and following
in his father's footsteps?

[theme music]

McCloud: Make one move
and it will be your last.

- What do you think, Joe?
- Very convincing.

You about ready?

Never wanna hurry yourself, Joe,

even when you're fixin'
on robbin' a bank.

Clifford: Last year, there were
over 1200 bank robberies

in the city of New York.

That's an average
of more than four a day.

Now half of you
are already painfully aware

of those statistics

because you represent
the banking community

up and down the East Coast
from Boston to Miami.

The other half represent
the news media.

And it's our hope
that all of you

will be enlightened
by today's operation. Because...

Wanna leave a wakeup call, Sam?

Clifford: Something to command
the attention of you...

[sighs]

This assignment's
about as exciting

as that toothbrush convention.

We are about to bring to you
live, as it is happening,

an actual bank robbery.

[indistinct murmuring]
Well, that's some compensation

for getting us up at this hour.

[sighs] Furgy, you died along
with the newspaper industry

in this town sometime ago.

Nothing personal.

You call television news alive?

[scoffs]

Ten headlines,
twenty commercials,

semi-literate weather girl.

- Hmm.
- Nothing personal, Samantha.

The target
of today's bank robbery

will be the First Trust Bank
of Second Avenue.

[dramatic music]

Clifford: Of course,
the bank's personnel know

that a robbery is to take place,
but they don't know

when or by whom.

And to commit today's robbery,

in an effort to keep the bank's
employees off balance,

we try to select as unlikely
a police officer as possible.

Hold these for me,
will you, Joe?

Clifford: There is, in fact...
- Well, I think I'm gonna go.

- Where are you going?
- To bed.

In about ten minutes,
everyone in this room

is gonna be asleep and I'm gonna
be the only one with a pillow.

I'll give you $10
for your notes.

Fifteen.

Snake. 12.50

Twenty.

Fifteen, and you have
your messenger deliver it.

Clifford: Desperate enough
to try a bank robbery.

You know, I keep wondering...

what if somebody,
he doesn't know what's going on

and decides to become a hero?

[laughs]

That'd be kind of embarrassing,
wouldn't it,

to expire right up there
on TV screen?

Just a minute, chief.

You're sure there's no risk
of the simulated robbers

getting shot up
by the bank guards or maybe...

by some cop
who didn't get the message?

No, I assure you.
It's difficult enough

to get good men without
shooting them up ourselves.

No, the guard on duty
at this particular bank

is employed by
the Brinkman Security Service,

represented here on the platform
by Mr. Clayton Gillis.

He's been with us
in the planning of this robbery

from the beginning.

After all, his company has been

in the crime prevention
and security business

since the days of Jesse James

and the-- the Pony Express.

And I can honestly say

that, uh, while I haven't been
with the company that long,

uh, this is the first time
in my recollection

that our guards
have been given orders

to look the other way
during a robbery.

[chuckling]

Clifford: Thank you, Mr. Gillis.

[dramatic music]

Joe: I guess this is it.

You mean
you're not gonna wish me luck

on my first bank robbery?

Oh, forgive me, Sam.
Have a nice robbery.

- Thank you.
- Oh, and, Sam...

Don't be late for supper
and, uh, remember to say please.

[chuckles] There you go.

Employees in banks have been
trained in recent weeks

to adhere to a newly prescribed
set of rules

in the event of a robbery.

To remain calm in the face
of a gun. To be observant.

Good morning, sir.
Can I help you?

[sighs] Would you...

just put all the money
you got in this bag

and nobody will get hurt?

Clifford: Rule number one,
keep cool.

Rule number two,

at the first opportunity,
trigger the silent alarm.

Mornin'.

[alarm ringing]

[applause]

She's a good girl.

She's done her homework.

We got the message
and help is on the way.

Man on radio: Attention
all units,

proceed to the First Trust Bank.

[siren blaring]

[dramatic music]

Man on radio: Attention
all units,

proceed to the First Trust Bank.

[music continues]

[truck clanks]

You just keep your eyes
up front, young fella,

and you'll be alright.

Hey, what is this?

Virgil: Now don't be stupid,
young fella.

It's a holdup, of course.

Oh.

Clifford: With the aid
of a live-action telecoptor,

we'll be able to see firsthand

an actual bank robbery pursuit,

utilizing the combined forces

of radio cars
and police helicopters,

which are now zeroing in
on the First Trust Bank.

Clean as a whistle, Joe.
Let's roll.

[dramatic music]

Hey, you're going the wrong way,
Joe.

We're supposed
to shoot down Second Avenue.

There's been a change in plans.

- Who changed it?
- They did.

You just keep your face
turned on around the other way

and pass that poke on back here.

[chuckles] Is this
some kind of a joke?

That's funny.
That's what I said.

[chuckles]

I said pass that poke.

Sam, pass the poke.

And now the stage is set
for a quick,

efficient apprehension
of the perpetrators.

[siren blaring]

Blue van down 14th Street

approximately two blocks.

[dramatic music]

Piece of cake, boys.
We got them in sight.

Well, let's make this
nice and neat for the chief.

Remember, boys,
we're all on television.

Virgil: Now just
keep going straight

just the way you are.

You'd be a whole lot better off
sticking to the nice,

fast trails
straight out of town.

Don't you be tellin' me
my business now.

Just trying to help.

Virgil: Then turn
into that alley.

Clifford: As you can see,
the police helicopter

with an accurate description
of the van is now in pursuit

and we see it speeding along
14th Street and...

turn into that alley.

[dramatic music]

They're turning into an alley.

That wasn't part of the deal.
They were supposed to head

for an open field where we could
set this chopper down.

Unit 411 to Command,
there's a flag on the play.

Everybody, stand by.

The perpetrators think
that they've gotten away

clean as a whistle
while in, uh, reality,

they'll very shortly
be apprehended and under arrest.

Why'd they turn into that alley?

Don't you know?

- No. Do you?
- No.

[siren blaring]

Pull over so we can find out
what the chopper has to say.

Now you see that van
right up there?

Right up in front of us.

You just go right up into it.

Alright now, boys,

I want you to get up on them
each one at a time

and start backin' this way.

[dramatic music]

We lost them.

Don't tell me
Broadhurst is pulling

a McCloud. Let's go.

I believe the correct
law enforcement response

at this point is
you'll never get away with it.

Seems kind of inappropriate,
don't it?

As you see, uh,

we're closing in from all sides
effectively blocking

all possible escape routes.

I don't have the faintest idea

what could have happened
to that van.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I see it.

Flip on the siren, Dan.

[siren blaring]

Even, uh, attempted diversions
are useless

when a highly organized
law enforcement agency

makes up its mind to...

[dramatic music]

[indistinct chatter]
Hey, chief.

Those two men look like
they're tied up.

Oh, no need to, uh,
play out the entire scene.

As you could see, the, uh,

police moved in quickly,
efficiently,

and made a, uh, a clean arrest.

That, uh, that ends this, uh,

morning's demonstration,
ladies and gentlemen.

Uh, if there are
any further questions,

Mr. Gillis will be glad
to answer them for you.

[indistinct chatter]

I, uh, don't seem to have
anything to add.

Uh, everything, uh,

seemed to... go fine.

[siren blaring]

[dramatic music]

We'll have them loose
in ten minutes, chief.

Can't go any faster
without burning them.

I'll assume that responsibility
in full.

Now, look, chief,
I know how you feel, but--

McCloud, you haven't begun to...

No pictures!

And not one word out of you,
Ferguson.

Not one word! You hear me?

When I get through
with the two of you, you'll wish

he'd fed that flame in
through your ears.

Now get them out of here.

- Like that?
- I said get them out of here.

I want them away from Ferguson
and the rest of the press.

And if either one of them
so much as even starts

to give out his name, shoot him!

[instrumental music]

[telephone ringing]

[crash]

[continues ringing]

[sighs]

- Hello? Who is this?
- This is God!

[gasps] Mr. Harris?

Now that we've captured
your attention,

Miss Johnson, what happened?

What happened--
what happened to who?

- To what, sir?
- To your story, Miss Johnson.

The one you were supposed to do
for your employers.

Oh, you remember us?
The "Six O'Clock News?"

I realize that
it's only 2 o'clock,

but we would like to get a crack
at looking at the stories

before putting them on the air.

Sort out the chaff, as it were.

You could take that personally,
if you like.

Mr. Harris, I don't know
understand your tone of voice.

I was on the job this morning.

I have the entire story.
I was just going over my notes.

Oh, well, in that case,
I guess I owe you an apology.

Mm-hmm. I'm afraid you do, sir.

Tell me, Miss Johnson, uh,

just so as I can brace
the film boys on your scoop,

uh, how'd they manage
to pull it off?

There wasn't really
anything at all.

It was just
a... a television crew

and a bunch of cops
playing like bank robbers.

It was really pretty dull stuff.

Not that robbery,
I'm interested in the other one.

- Um, the other one?
- Yes, Sam.

The one in which some fella
or fellas, unknown,

managed to rob the entire
New York City Police Department

in broad daylight while
they were on closed circuit

coast to coast television.

- Television?
Harris: Yes, Sam. Television.

I realize that
one of the other stations

should have phoned us about it,
but I guess maybe they thought

that we had somebody on the job!

Oh, yes, sir.

Oh, I-- I promise you, sir,

I have the story under control.

Uh, I'm, uh, on my way
to headquarters right now.

And I promise you that I'll have

everything together
before our deadline.

Not our deadline, Sam,
your deadline.

[line disconnects]
Goodbye... sir.

[reporters clamoring]

No-- no comment.

No comment!

Alright, fellas, hold it.

There's to be no announcement

on the First Trust Bank case
this afternoon.

[indistinct chatter]

We'll have a prepared statement

for you
at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning.

[reporters clamoring]
That's all.

I like that.
A prepared statement.

A prepared statement.

I haven't seen so much security
around here

since that rookie busted
the mayor on a 402.

You get the feeling
we got a live one here?

- I sure do.
- Let me get some coffee.

Furgy! Excuse me. Furgy!

- Well, well, well...
- Furgy, I gotta talk to you.

If it isn't
the journalistic Dorothy

from the Land of Oz.

Better known
as Miss Television News.

- Is that sugar...
- What?

- Yes.
- Thank you.

Listen, Furgy,
my job's on the line.

Well, there's always
the Women's Lib Bakeoff.

Oh, Furgy, please, I know I act
like a jerk once in a while,

but that's just because I'm
trying to be one of the boys.

Now all I wanna be
is a good reporter.

Yeah, well, it takes more

than a kick in the pants
from the boss, Sam.

Oh, Furgy,
this job's important to me.

- You want some coffee?
- No, thanks.

I've worked five years
to get into feature reporting.

If I blow this,
they won't even let me

on a Saturday night weather.

That's good.
Have babies. Buy a dress shop.

Oh, Furgy, please.

- Oh, come on now, Sam.
- Oh.

Don't start doing that,
will you?

Alright, baby, alright.

I'll try and help you,

but I won't be doing you
much of a favor.

We don't have much.

W-- well, that doesn't matter.
You're the best there is.

Just tell me what you know and
I'll be up with all the others.

Well, you see, so far...

It's not so much a case
of big stolen money.

Now it's municipal
embarrassment.

Oh, brother,
did those two cops look silly?

What happened?
Whose fault was it?

I don't know.

But I did see a picture
of two of New York's finest

handcuffed to each other
in their own truck.

[laughs]

Brother, I wouldn't trade places
with them for a million bucks.

[drumroll]

Hmm.

Yes, sir?

I was just clearing my throat.

Oh, excuse me, sir.

Well, I guess we've gone over
all the ground we can.

We can go over it again
if you like, sir.

That's right. You betcha.
We'd be glad to do it.

As a matter of fact,
we figured it's our duty.

No, that's alright.

If I want to review the facts,

I can always call
communications.

We've got it all on videotape.

Half the country
has it on videotape.

We wired it directly
to Chicago, Denver and Seattle

to save on distribution costs.

[sighs] Well, chief,
I'm just as sorry

as a lovesick gelding.
I really am.

McCloud, spare me
your hickory-smoked scriptures.

We spent thousands of dollars
printing up flyers

to inform civilians to be
observant during a bank robbery

and my own officers
come up with descriptions

that sound like
ghost riders in the sky.

- Now listen to me--
- More like the James Gang, sir.

Oh, I would say it's more
like "The Wild Bunch," Joe.

Oh, come on, Sam. What's the
difference? Cowboys are cowboys.

McCloud: Well,
cowboys ain't cowboys.

The Wild Bunch is a much more
recent gang than the--

McCloud,

Broadhurst,

now you hear me
and you hear me good.

Until we come up with something

slightly more tangible
than your descriptions

of a Wild West circus
on Second Avenue,

I don't want it mentioned
outside this office.

It's enough
that you were snookered

all over the front pages,
we don't have to turn it

into a costume ball.

No one will ever hear it
from us, chief.

That's for sure.

Good.

Now if you don't mind,
I'd like to be alone a while.

We understand, chief.

Chief, I know this may not be
the right time to bring it up,

but if you don't mind, I would
like to follow up on this case.

I'd like to continue on it.

McCloud...

my service revolver
has a busted safety catch.

And after what you did to me
today,

no jury in this world
would convict me of anything

more serious than discharging
a lethal weapon

into a public nuisance!

I appreciate your honesty,
chief. Appreciate it.

[reporters clamoring]

Grover: No questions, boys.
And no pictures.

Reporter 1: Who knocked you
over, marshal?

Who said
anybody got knocked over?

Reporter 2: How long did it take
to cut the bracelets off?

[clamoring]

Well, we're not gonna find
anything out here, Sam.

- Let's be on our way.
- Wait a minute.

Isn't that the marshal
who's been observing here

from Shoehorn, Nevada?

Taos, New Mexico. Why?

- I just got a hot flash.
- You did, huh?

What does that mean? You're onto
something or you're pregnant?

- Furgy!
- [laughs]

[instrumental music]

- Hello.
Geri: Hello, Sam?

Geri. Hey, I was just picking
up the phone to call you.

I was calling you.

Well, just goes to show
that we're closer

than two mules
in a sideband harness.

Am I gonna see you tonight, Sam?

Ah, well, that's...

that's why I was callin' you.

You know,
this hasn't been what you'd call

a bumper crop day for me.

I was thinking about
stayin' in tonight

and doin' a little thinkin'.

Well, you gotta eat.

And you could tell me
all about your problems.

Well, there's only one trouble
with that.

I'm not supposed to talk
to the press.

That's Chief Clifford's orders.

Well, I'm not the press.

I'm just a little old columnist.

We could go to that nice place
you like on 48th Street.

Well, I gotta admit,
it sure'd be good seeing you.

There you go.

Oh, marshal.
I got a message for you.

It came in about
five minutes ago.

Well, I was in my room
five minutes ago.

Man 1: Well, I told him that,
but he didn't wanna go up.

He just wanted me to make sure
that, uh, you got it.

I don't know. He looked like
a cabby to me or something.

I see.

What do you think
I ought to do about this?

Well, if it was me,
I'd think twice a...

Oh.

Well, it wasn't sealed, marshal,
you know,

and I wanted to make sure
that some crank around here

wasn't botherin' our guests,
you know.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

That's Van Cortlandt Park.

That's on the Bronx
Westchester County line.

Man says if I want to solve
the First Trust Bank case,

I should be there
at 8 o'clock... alone.

[sighs]

- Make a phone call?
- Yeah, go ahead.

That will be 10 cents, please.

[sighs]

[line not connecting]

First Trust Bank.

That's that robbery today
where they, uh,

ripped off a couple of cops,
right?

- Mm-hmm.
- [scoffs] Oh, boy.

I bet those guys
sure felt stupid, huh?

Oh, um, I didn't even say that.

Do me a favor, will you?

Make this call.
Tell the lady I'll be in touch.

Yes, sir.
I will do that.

Good luck, sir. And I hope
you solve the case, sir.

[instrumental music]

[dramatic music]

Help!

Help!

[instrumental music]

Help!

Help! Somebody, help me!

Help! Oh, don't...

Lady, lady,
I'm a police officer.

Just a minute.
I'm a police officer.

- Oh.
- Everything's gonna be alright.

- Oh.
- Just get a hold of yourself.

Oh, I feel so foolish for coming
into the park so late at night.

- [sighs]
- What happened?

Well... well-- well,
he looked so innocent.

He had this little dog
on a leash and...

Well, people with dogs
aren't supposed to be muggers.

[sighs] I just leaned down
to pet the little thing and...

[sighs] he grabbed me
around the neck. It was awful.

- Did he hurt you?
- [sighs] No.

I feel so stupid!

He took my purse.
I had two weeks' pay.

I feel so dumb. Dumb!

Now, look, I know
just exactly how you feel.

It's alright. I...

I've done a couple
of dumb things myself today.

[sighs] Oh, you're just saying
that to make me feel better.

I am not even...
No, it was dumb.

Just dumb's the only thing
you can say about it.

Just kind of like
you and your dog.

What do you mean?
What are you talking about?

[sighs] Well...

you see, my partner and me,
we had this

kind of a special assignment.

- Hmm.
- What were you doing?

[sighs] We didn't realize
how special it was

till these five jokers showed up
in the back of the van.

[chuckles]

What were they doing?

[sighs]

[chuckles] Well, you know,
you're not gonna believe this.

Now here-- here was
the dumb part. You see...

[knock on door]

- Who is it?
McCloud: Fella come to call.

Oh, Sam.

McCloud: I just want
two minutes, Geri,

to explain to you what happened,
that's all.

Alright, two minutes.

Hey, how about you?

Just as pretty
as a newborn colt.

Don't come trotting in here
in the middle of the night

trying to smooth-talk me
after standing me up.

Ooh.

- Sam.
- Mmm.

- Do I smell perfume?
- Perfume?

About $25 an ounce perfume

if I'm not mistaken.

[chuckles]

Well, you know, Geri,
you're clearly mistaken.

- Your two minutes are up, Sam.
- Now wait a minute.

Hey, Geri, listen,
I can explain that perfume.

Oh, I'm sure you can and I'd
love to hear all about it

some other time!

You know how to let
yourself out, don't you, Sam?

Geri, would you open up
the door?

I can explain the perfume.

Geri: Be sure the door
is locked. Bye, Sam.

This is ridiculous!

[sighs] I'll be dipped.

They were your men, chief,

operating your plan
under your surveillance.

It seems pretty obvious to me
that Brinkman Security

is clear of any responsibility.

Maybe obvious to you,
but from where I stand,

your organization
could have breached security

in any one
of a thousand ways.

Oh, yes.

Very likely, hmm?

Some master criminal
in my organization

going to all this trouble
to steal $1100?

On the other hand,
police have been known

to compromise principle
for incredibly slim pickings.

I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

Just so we understand
each other.

We both intend to bring
these criminals to justice

regardless of where
the chips may fall.

And I suggest you buy a helmet.

And in the meantime,
you won't object

to my submitting
your, uh, Sgt. Broadhurst

and Marshal McCloud to
a heuristics computer analysis.

A which?

Heuristics
is the science of hunches

or making educated guesses.

I'd be glad to give you
a demonstration.

You know, these new computers,

they actually think.

I'm already aware of thinking.

It may come as news to you boys,

but the police department
has been doing that for years.

Chief,
about McCloud and Broadhurst...

Oh, yes, you wanna question
my men, go right ahead.

Oh, and, Gillis,
be sure and let me know

when your computer
cracks the case.

Well, here we are.

The policemen of the future.

It'd be a tight fit
in a patrol car.

You know, someday we'll be
cross-indexed on computers

not only according
to our individual traits

and characteristics,
but also as we relate to, uh,

various groups
we may play a part of.

Job force, church force,
political force.

Well, [chuckles]
uh, does seem to me like

you're rubbing up against
few personal freedoms there.

You know,
spread-eagling a man's life

and thoughts across a machine?

The Constitution
of the United States

was devised
to accommodate change.

We give up certain freedoms
in return for protection.

Now society can protect us
from crime and criminals.

That in itself
is a new freedom.

Freedom from fear.
Freedom from worry.

We get something,
we give up something.

That's progress.

Oh, we've sure had
a lot of that.

Good morning, Miss Adams.

Gentlemen.

We've got a lot of work to do

so, uh, we better get started.

Uh, let's see. One each
of the early morning white.

Before I give you
specific questions

relating to the, uh...

One each
of the corn flour yellow.

Uh, the First Trust Bank robbery
of the 12th.

Then we have
these chalking series.

I'd like you both to fill out
some questionnaires.

- You sure this is all?
- One more.

Uh, look here, marshal.

Isn't this the loveliest shade
of baby blue you've ever seen?

Really delightful.

You know, statistics show
that it's more pleasant

to write on this color
than any other.

Well, better get started.

Uh, Mr. Jenkins?

Mr. Jenkins has been
with Brinkman for 50 years.

He started in our Denver office.

Now pass your forms to him
when you've completed them,

so he can start processing them.

Uh, we're ready,
so let's begin.

Step right this way, gentlemen.

Okay, I'll buy that.

We'll open
with the terrorist bombings

in segue right into the
Indo-China footage

and do the follow-up story
on the president's position.

- That will be from Washington.
- Oh, Mr. Harris?

- Oh, yeah.
- Is that, uh, live or tape?

- Mr. Harris!
- Oh, that's, uh, film...

Mr. Harris! Excuse me.

Mr. Harris, I'm sorry I'm late.

I know it's way past
the deadline,

but I had trouble
getting the artwork.

Well, here it is. Read it.

I don't have time to read it.

Now even if I loved it,

there wouldn't be any time
to get it ready.

I-- it's about the cops,
the ones that got

ripped off
on closed circuit television.

We did that story last night.

Yeah, but the cops
aren't telling the real story.

They got ripped off
by the Hole in the Wall gang.

Five of them.
At least 80 years old apiece.

And everything authentic.
Clothing, guns, everything.

Are we the only ones in town
with this story?

Even I don't have
the whole story.

Cue cards,
get out here right away!

Cue cards, you got a whole new
deal.

We'll change the opening.
Let me see that.

You were always
a strange girl, Sam.

- Even when you did the weather.
- Thank you.

- George!
- [sighs]

Oh, here, I'll take this up.

What are you waiting for?
A raise?

Oh.

Where the hell have you been?

No, you listen to me,
you old man.

Eleven hundred lousy dollars

isn't worth
the price of ammunition.

Now you promised me big money.

Wrong, old man. No one
is looking like an idiot but me.

And maybe you.

Now I'm gonna give you
one more chance.

Uh-huh.

Sure.

Now that's a little more
like it.

But this time
it better come off.

[dramatic music]

Well, he just called.
We go again tonight.

This time it will be worth it.
$50,000.

You fellas about done?

Yeah, I guess
that just about wraps it up.

You sure there's nothing else
that you'd like to know?

Color of socks I wore
in high school graduation?

My sister-in-law's
brassiere size? [scoffs]

[chuckles] You know,
I wouldn't wanna say

that Mr. Gillis won't ask you
for those things.

It will probably show up
on a new

lavender form he's workin' on.
[scoffs]

Seems to me like you're not
quite as confirmed a believer

in those machines
as Mr. Gillis is.

Machines
doin' the thinkin' for men?

No, sir, never.

I was a policeman for 50 years.

Maybe a little bit longer
if the truth were known.

I tracked outlaws and bad men
all over this country.

I caught up with them, too,

with sweat, hunches
and sticktoitiveness.

Now you can't put any of those
things in a machine.

Well, that's the most sense
I've heard

since I walked into this place.

- Thanks a lot, Mr. Jenkins.
- Elroy.

- My pleasure. Appreciate it.
- Anytime. Bye.

[instrumental music]

Five minutes.
Five minutes to air. Standby.

Excuse me.

[knocks] Mr. Harris!

- Let me see those.
- Oh, I hope it's alright.

It's the best they could do
on such short notice.

Oh, they-- they're fine.
Who did them?

- Charlie. Oh, here.
- That's great.

Yeah. Oh, [chuckles] dynamite!

Oh. Well...

Look at those faces.

[dramatic music]

Alright, boys.

Let's get those rocks there
and those railroad ties

and put them out there
in the middle of the tracks.

[horn blaring]

[indistinct chatter]

Hello, Winston.
Hi, Charlie. Uh, the usual.

Well, how goes the battle?

Are you kidding?
That... [horn blaring]

writers' strike is gonna keep us
playing catch up

for the next two seasons.

Oh, I'd like to kill those...
[horn blaring]

I'll buy that.

[dramatic music]

[train chugging]

[instrumental music]

Price on TV: Ladies
and gentlemen, good evening.

Charles Price
with the "Six O'Clock News."

In the headlines tonight, more
terrorist bombings in Ireland

and more trouble for the
President over Indo-China.

And right here in Gotham City,
ghosts from the past.

As it appears that
the famed Hole in the Wall gang,

which plundered
the Southwest United States

in the early 1900s,
is still alive

and back on the holdup trail
right here in New York City.

Holy Toledo.

Price: When we return, following
these important messages.

[knocks] Chief!

[train chugging]

I somehow wish
the Western would return.

They spoke of freer days.

[horn blaring] True.

[grunts]

Let me grab this here.
Let me grab it.

That's good.

Price: Now to the local scene.

Last night on this newscast,

we reported the skimpy details

of an even skimpier
bank robbery.

- Only $1100...
- Alright, knock it off!

Price: However,
there's apparently a lot more

to the story than was revealed

by the New York City
Police Department.

Here with new details and
a "Six O'Clock News" exclusive,

Samantha Johnson.

Thank you, Charles.

Well, the story
is already bizarre,

but I have a feeling we've
only scratched the surface.

Yesterday morning,
the New York City

Police Department was robbed.

That's right,
in broad daylight.

Of course,
now that presents a problem.

Just who do the police call
when they get into trouble?

Maybe now they'll know
how the rest of us feel.

Anyway, apparently,
they didn't call anyone

because they didn't want
the world to know

just who they were robbed by

or New York's finest might
wind up on the funny farm

lock, stock and commissioner.

Why'd she have to drag
the commissioner into this?

[horn blaring]

The cowboy will be back someday.

- Mark my words.
- Oh, Charlie.

[grunts]

The original
Hole in the Wall gang,

also known
as the Railroad Syndicate...

Who else knew about this story?

Just you, me,
McCloud and Broadhurst.

[sighs]

Samantha: Southwest United
States and raised havoc

with banks and railroads
from 1880 till 19...

- You see what I see, Joe?
- I see it.

Samantha: Well, we don't know
and the police aren't saying,

but authority says that

they range
from 75 to 80 years of age

and so do the clothes
on their backs

and the guns in their hands.

Hmmm, makes you wonder,
doesn't it?

Maybe they've been hanging out
in the Badlands all these years

just waiting for a comeback.

We can only guess
why they picked Manhattan.

Their first job tells the story.

Easy pickings. Charles.

Thank you, Sam.
You stay with that story.

We want to know
how it comes out.

Back in a moment
with the sports.

Grover, tell Sgt. Broadhurst
and Marshal McCloud

I want to see them in my office.

I heard him.

- You got it.
- That enough?

Yeah, that's good.

Now remember, boys,

the police aren't gonna be along
for the cameras this time.

If there is shootin',

there sure is
gonna be some bleedin'.

[train chugging]

Well, here's to...

Man 2: To "Playhouse 90."

[train chugging]

The world is full of cranks,
crackpots and madmen.

My own department
is even suspect.

The one thing in the world
we didn't want to do

was give them
any kind of publicity.

Chief, this time it was
my fault, clear and simple,

and I am prepared
to assume full responsibility.

Oh, well,
that changes everything.

Now all we have to do
is convince all of New York

that you in no way
had anything whatsoever to do

with the commissioner, me

or the 30,000 men
in this department.

Just how in hell do we do that,
McCloud?

[train chugging]

Right on time.

Alright, boys, let's get ready.

Chief, have you considered
the possibility

that this bunch
just might not be crackpots?

McCloud, I can understand
your empathy for oddballs,

but what in the name of logic

would suggest anything other
than a bunch of lunatics?

Their degree of thoroughness,
their organization,

their range of information
concerning our operation.

[train approaching]

[horn blaring]

[brake screeches]

Hey, what the...

This is a holdup.
Get on the floor, fast!

Didn't spill a drop.

[dramatic music]

- Stand and deliver!
- I'll drink to that.

[gunshot]

I want everybody on the floor.

I told you
Westerns were coming back.

Sit down, you idiot! [gunshot]

Get your hand down.

Hey, young fella.

Looks like you're tryin'
to hide somethin'.

[chuckles] Oh, yes.

Yes, sir.

Oh, I'd sure hate to take
your hand off with this.

I-- I don't have the key.

It's waiting for me
a-- at the other end.

- Gopher!
Gopher: Yo!

[grunts] Now if it was me,

I believe I'd stay put
for about an hour,

'cause we got dynamite charges
on all the doors.

[grunts]

Well, I wanna thank you
very much, gentlemen...

and goodnight.

Come on, boys.

[indistinct chatter]

What the hell?

If the news
of that bunch of crackpots

hadn't leaked out, McCloud,
five will get you a thousand

they'd never be heard from
again.

[telephone rings]

Clifford.

Where?

I'll be right there.

They've been heard from again.

[siren blaring]

[indistinct
police radio chatter]

[horn honking]

[clamoring]

D-A-R-N-I-N, Charles Darnin.

[indistinct chatter]

Fifty thousand dollars in cash.

It's a-- it's a payroll delivery
I make once a month.

Been doing it for six years.
Never had any trouble.

Well, doesn't it seem
a bit risky to transport

large sums of money
on a public conveyance?

That's the whole point.

The reason we've always been
so successful.

- It's unexpected.
- Oh.

And we've always varied
the time of day

and day of the month.

Ah, well, thank you very much.

Alright, now tell me,
Mr. Darnin,

what happened from your point
of vantage? What happened?

We were in the midst
of discussing ways and means

by which we could reduce--

I-- I don't care about that.

But what happened?
Will you tell me that?

Ah, excuse me, sir.

Sir, are you
with the railroad company?

- No, Brinkman Security Agency.
- Oh.

They-- they-- the courier
was our man.

We're responsible for the loss.

Well, but it-- it sure is
a powerful, curious thing.

- The--
- Oh, what's curious, sir?

Well, well....

from talking to the engineer
and passengers,

this gang, uh...

It was-- it was the way
they stopped this train

and the things they said.

You know, "Stand and deliver."

And-- and [chuckles]
that red lantern.

- I-- I--
- Go on, go on.

Well, you see,
I go back a lot of years.

And from what I recollect,
this-- this gang of old-timers

knows more about
the ways and means

of the old Wild Bunch than

[chuckles]
than the old Wild Bunch.

Well, certainly
you're not suggesting that--

Oh, no, no.
I'm not suggesting--

- Mr. Jenkins.
- You see, that...

Jenkins: Oh.
Well, back to work again.

Would you come with me
for a moment, please?

Yes, sure.

What are you doing here?

And who authorized you
to talk to the press?

Well, I was in the office
when the call came in.

I figured I ought to see
if I could be of any help.

I put in a lot of years
in the field, you know.

That was a long time ago, Elroy.
Too long.

Now please go home.

Leave the detective work
to others, hmm?

Well, just as you say,
Mr. Gillis.

[chuckles] You're runnin'
the company.

Ah, excuse me, sir.

You are Mr. Gillis, aren't you?

Do you have a statement
for the press?

Gillis: Well, there will be
no official announcement

until we have an opportunity

to collate
all of the known facts.

Oh, I see.
What's your theory...

What? Oh! Oh, who's that?

Oh! What are you doing to me?
Put me down!

- What are you doing?
- I'm taking you back to town.

I'm puttin' you in a police car.
Gonna keep you out of trouble.

But you can't.
I'll get fired.

I'm supposed to be here
on an assignment.

This will make up for last night
when you weren't

supposed to be on an assignment.

That was strictly
off the record.

- Oh. Ah.
- [grunts]

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey! [bangs on door]

[knocks] Come on out of there!

Now, McCloud, please.

I know you think I took
advantage of your friendship,

but after all I'm a reporter.

But I'm fully prepared
to make it up to you.

I'll make you famous.

You've already done that!
Now come on out of there!

No, I mean good famous,
not ha-ha famous.

You can't go any place.
You might as well come on out.

McCloud, it won't do you any
good to send me back to town.

It's only ten minutes away.

All I'll do is
just come right back again.

Uh, I'd rather make a deal
with you.

What kind of a deal?

Well, I'll give you my word
that I won't turn in

another story
without your direct approval.

And I'll even make it up to you

for all the inconvenience
I caused you.

Man shouldn't worry about
the road that he's covered.

It's the trail up ahead
that counts.

With you, all I can see
is ruts and grooves.

Well, I can't say
as I blame you,

but I did what I did
for my job, McCloud.

All I could see was
five years of my hard work

going down the drain.

But I guarantee
it won't happen again.

Right.

Then it's a deal?

Nope.

Well, then what am I
right about?

It won't happen again.

What? [handcuffs click]

What are you doing?

McCloud!

What are you doing, McCloud?

- Good evening, ma'am.
- McCloud! [bangs on door]

McCloud, let me out of here!

Let me out of here,
you lying, treacherous man!

I'll get you for this!

[bangs on door]

[knock on door]

[sighs]

Who is it?

McCloud: Sam.
- Go away, Sam.

McCloud: [bangs on door]
I wanna talk to you, Geri.

Sam, you're gonna wake up
the neighbors.

[knocks] Alright, lady,
this is the police!

Open up
or we break the door down!

Sam!

[knocks]

Charlie, get the fire ax.

You've got a lot of nerve, Sam.
A lot of nerve.

Well, I got more than nerve.
I got a need.

You know, I can't get more
than a few blocks away from you

without needin' a refill.

Hold on.

Alright. What happened tonight?

This Hole in the Wall gang,
they struck again.

- They robbed you again?
- No.

No, this time
they didn't rob me.

That's the only good thing
about it.

This time they robbed a train.

A train?

In Manhattan,
they robbed a train?

Now come on, Sam.

No, cross my heart.
It's a train.

You know that I wouldn't have
stood you up for anything

less than a train,
you know that?

Well...

Hmm.

- Sam.
- Hmm.

Do I smell perfume?

[laughs]

Well, I can explain that.

I'm sure you can.

Your train was running on My Sin
instead of diesel oil.

You know the way out, Sam.

- Oh, Sam?
- Hmm.

Don't forget to latch the door.
Goodnight.

[bangs door shut]

Clifford: Now this is what
we've got so far.

Two jobs
both executed within two days.

Both executed by five men,

appearing to be anywhere
between the ages of 60 and 90.

Both jobs
well planned, well timed,

and based
on precise information,

and protected
by the Brinkman Security Agency.

However, the bank job
only netted $1100,

which seems to rule out
an inside job.

And the $50,000 bank robbery

would seem to take it out
of the category of a prank.

And that leaves us
running around in circles,

chasing our, uh, theories.

Well, chief, it seems to me
like we got

more to chase than just that.

If you're referring
to that Hole in the Wall gang

you're so intent on publicizing.

No, sir. I'm referring
to just the opposite.

Seems to me like, that, uh,
[chuckles]

people goin' around
puttin' on funny hats and suits

gotta be doin' it for a reason.

Well, as our resident expert
on funny suits and hats,

I welcome your conclusion.

Well, dressin' up
like a pack of prairie wolves

is a good way to hide
a flock of sheep.

McCloud, please.

All I mean is that
if they're intent

on appearing
like a bunch of old men,

that they may be doing it
because they're tryin' to hide

the fact
they're just the opposite.

You're suggesting the train was
robbed by a bunch of old ladies?

Or a bunch of young men.

Young or old, it really doesn't
give us any more to go on.

Well, except they... they must
have come by them outfits

and that hardware someplace
other than Bloomingdale's.

[scoffs] All those boys
were totin' real museum pieces.

Do you have any idea
how many private

antique gun collections
there are in this state alone?

Well, still, uh... [scoffs]

You don't mind if I pursue it,
do you?

Be my guest.

But understand one thing.

You communicate with me
and me alone.

Not newspapers or television.

- There you go.
- Wish you'd stop saying that.

[printer whirring]

Son of Butch Cassidy?

That's the most ridiculous thing
I've ever heard of.

Who's responsible for this?

Your computer, Mr. Gillis.
We just turn it on.

Mr. Jenkins,
kindly don't patronize me.

Our computer does
as it's programmed to do.

It was programmed
to arrive at a conclusion

based on facts that you ordered
fed into the machine.

New facts
as well as historical facts.

You want me to go out there
and tell the world

that Brinkman Security Agency
has decided

that the son of Butch Cassidy
is on the loose in Manhattan

and following
in his father's footsteps?

We'll be laughed
out of the business.

Does seem rather far-fetched,
doesn't it?

Still it was your machine that--

And stop calling it my machine!

I want that report buried
forever.

I'll reprogram the computer
myself.

Meantime, go tell the reporters
that the, uh,

press release
will be postponed...

Oh, never mind.
I'll do it myself.

[indistinct chatter]

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
I have

a progress report for you
on the robberies.

However, it is not
the comprehensive,

computerized report we had hoped
to have ready at this time.

[reporters clamoring]

Well, if you'll just be patient,
you'll have--

Oh, patient, patient!

[indistinct chatter]

Gillis: Uh, perhaps
the members of the press...

Well, it's a pretty long way
to bring us just to tell us

there's no new information.
What do you think?

Well, Mr. Gillis is running

the Brinkman Security Agency
these days.

If he wants to reprogram
the computer,

it's his business.

Reprogram the computer?

I can't say I blame him even.

Machines that come up
with such far-flung conclusions,

you know,
they should be reprogrammed.

Oh, you mean like the Hole
in the Wall gang theory?

Oh, ma'am, [chuckles]
I'm not allowed to say.

I-- I was ordered to throw
the whole report away.

And it's just as well too.

It'll just kick up
a big public ruckus.

Uh, Mr. Jenkins,
just where would you be going

to throw that report away?

Hmm? Oh, uh,

out in the trash can
in the back.

Oh, you'll excuse me, won't you?
I better get to it.

[chuckles]

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

Hello, Geri.
This is your old friend Sam.

Listen, uh...
[line disconnects]

[knock on door]

Hello, Sam. I just stopped by
to forgive you.

Oh, isn't this charming?

Early Flatbush Renaissance.

We're not working the same side
of the street, remember?

But I conceded.

Look, I owe you one favor.
I'm just here to repay it.

Well, I can live without it.

Now, Sam, I have here a report,

a report from the Brinkman
Security Agency.

A report they tried to bury.

- That's none of my business.
Samantha: But it is.

If it's the true story
behind the robberies,

we can't allow them cover it up.

Sam, are you listening to me?

Don't seem to have much choice.

Well, according to this report,

there's a man
right here in New York City.

He's sort of
an amateur historian.

He's about 80 years old.

He lives in this old Brownstone
on 41st Street.

He's lived there
ever since he was born. [sniffs]

There's a bottle
of aftershave lotion.

I think it's on the bureau
there. Would you pass it to me?

Does the name
Robert Leroy Parker

mean anything to you?

- Robert Leroy Parker?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, anybody knows anything
about the old West

knows that's the real name
for Butch Cassidy.

- Congratulations.
- What do I win?

Here.

Curiously enough,

this man has the same last name.
Parker.

I don't know how good you are
with history,

but according to the books,
Etta Place...

She was Butch Cassidy's
girlfriend.

Well, sort of girlfriend.

Anyway, she left Columbia

during the last days
of Parker and Harry Longabaugh.

- He was the Sundance Kid.
- Hmm.

Well, rumor has it
that she was pregnant.

Huh? Don't you see?

It all fits into place?

She was carrying
Butch Cassidy's son.

She came back here to New York,
she had the baby,

and she lived with her son
until the moment of her death.

[exhales]

[clears throat] Is that
what that computer told you?

Sam, it all makes sense.

Now all you have to do is
help me verify this information

and we can split this case
right open, just the two of us.

[sighs] Just the two of us, huh?

Right.

Now I've been doing
a little investigating on my own

and I found out
that last Tuesday

Roy Parker disappeared
from his brownstone.

The exact same time
of the first robbery.

- It's pretty curious, isn't it?
- Oh, yes.

There's a lot of things that are
curious about this case.

For instance, what is it
that you want with me?

Well, for a start, we gotta
get into that Brownstone,

nose around,
see what we can come up with.

What you're really sayin' is
that you've already been over

to the Brownstone
and you couldn't get in.

So now you think a policeman's
badge is gonna help you.

Oh, Sam.
You don't really believe that?

[chuckles] Oh, yes, I do.

But knowing how you operate,
uh...

You scratch my back
and I'll scratch yours, right?

Sam.

What's the matter?
You've been crying?

No. Why?

Guess it's just your mascara.

Looks kind of like...
[chuckles]

What?

What are you talking about?

What... Sam!

Sam, let me out of here!

[bangs on door] Sam!

Sam, you can't do this to me!

Sam! I thought we were friends!

[bangs on door] McCloud,
I'll get you for this!

Hold on, lady.
You, uh, gotta be announced.

I do?

I think so.

But I always go up unannounced.

Yeah, I know, but still, uh...

You see, we have a rule
in the hotel here that, uh...

Well, you got to, uh,
let the person know

that you're coming up.

Oh.

- I see.
- Uh-huh.

- It's that way.
- [chuckles] Yeah.

- Well, uh, I understand.
- Hmm.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, Geri.

What are you doing here?
Where are you going?

Just goin' to leave?

I went for a walk
and I decided to come

to apologize
for hanging up on you.

Apparently, I, uh, almost
embarrassed both of us.

Well, you should never
be embarrassed, Geri,

to apologize. Never.

You know, I was just
gonna swing by your place.

Oh, you mean you can just leave?

I mean, uh,
under the circumstances?

What circumstances?

I don't know.

You mean you-- you can just go?

There's nothing
to keep you here?

Nothing that I know of.
Let's go.

[instrumental music]

217?

That's the only address
my paper has on him.

According to the information
I got, he was born, lives,

and will probably die
in the same place.

Let's see.

R. Parker,
downstairs in Room 1.

[dramatic music]

Well, you'd have told me

there was a place like this
in New York City,

I would have sworn
you'd been suckin' cider.

Sam... look at this.

"Tipton, Wyoming,
August 29, 1900.

Second Section Train Number 3
held up by five masked men.

Brinkman National
Security Company.

Six thousand five hundred
dollars reward.

Robert Leroy Parker,

alias Butch Cassidy,
George Cassidy,

known as a criminal
principally in Wyoming,

Utah, Colorado and Nevada."

Sam, these newspapers
and handbills

are the real thing.

Hmm.

Aren't you gonna say anything?

Seems more like a time
for thinkin'.

Sam, no one is more cynical
than a New Yorker,

but you've got to believe
what you see.

[sighs] Well, seeing
is in the eye of the beholder.

You see what you expect to see

or what you're programmed
to see.

For instance, these clippings,

they're old, alright,

but look at the tape.

That tape's
fresh out of the box.

That-- that couldn't be
more than two weeks old.

Programmed?

Did I hear you use the word
programmed?

McCloud: That's computer talk.

Something I picked up
in New York.

Seems as though you can program
people and machines

to think anything
you want them to think.

Alright, McCloud, this is war.

Nobody locks me up inside
their hotel room and gets away--

Now wait a minute.
Now hold up. That's, uh...

There's no reason to kick up
a fuss right-- right out here

in the middle of the street.
[chuckles]

Well, you're certainly
not gonna catch me inside

four walls again.
What's she doing here?

Uh...

Why, I can see you two
have a lot to talk about.

- Goodbye, Sam.
- Now wait a minute.

Good luck. You, too, Sam.

Look, Geri, I can explain
the facts, uh...

No? Geri!

"According
to Marshal Sam McCloud,

New York City's
newly appointed director

of special police posses,

an early arrest
of the son of Butch Cassidy

and his Manhattan marauders
is expected within 24 hours."

The son of Butch Cassidy!
Broadhurst.

Chief, I don't know
a thing about it.

Clifford: That's what
they all said at Watergate.

Either one of you
seen McCloud today?

[knock on door] Come in!

- Afternoon, chief. Grover.
- Hi.

Joe.
Beautiful day, isn't it?

Something wrong?

Apparently, you haven't seen
Miss March's column.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
I did see that. [chuckles]

Somebody's gonna have to speak
to that young lady.

- I'd say somebody already has.
- Well, that's just hearsay.

You don't see any-- any direct
quotes in there? [chuckles]

Now, chief...

I think I got us a breakthrough.

Now don't try to change
the subject, McCloud.

You couldn't get off the hook
if you came in here

with your own obituary.

[chuckles]

You're gonna feel a whole lot
better after you read this.

- Alright, I read it.
- Well?

I feel worse.

Well, that's because
you don't understand

the full significance
of what this report says.

Why don't you enlighten me
as to the full significance

of what that report says?

Right. This is a response

to the wirephoto of the rowel
that I sent off to Denver.

Rowel?

That's the little jangley thing

that hangs off a pair of spurs.

McCloud: Right.
- It's hopeless.

It's spreading
through my whole department.

You see, uh,
I sent the wirephoto

off to Denver for McCloud.

What wirephoto?

Well, the wirephoto
of this rowel.

I found this on the train
that was robbed.

Now we got a response
from the Denver Museum,

and according to them,

one whole display room
was robbed

of 1890 clothes, weapons,
the whole works.

This was along
about Christmastime.

Alright, we know
the gang's been to Denver.

Just where does that take us?

Takes us one step closer
than we were yesterday.

Forward or backward, McCloud?

I can't speak
for the whole department, chief,

but I know
which way I'm headin'.

Gillis: Hold 73581.

Mr. Gillis.

Marshal,
you're not welcome here.

Well, that's too bad because
you could be of some help

to the New York City
Police Department.

And how's that?

Well, I understand
this computer's wired

into police stations
and security organizations

all over the United States.

- All over the world.
- Right.

Well, what we need are the names

of private citizens and museums
that have reported thefts

of antique firearms
and/or Western clothing

in the past 12 months.

- Is that all?
- Is that too much?

- How soon do you want it?
- Tonight.

You can tell your Chief Clifford
it will be ready.

- Good day.
- Obliged.

Hello there.

I thought I saw you
tucked away in here.

Nice seein' you again,
Mr. Jenkins.

McCloud.

[dramatic music]

[telephone rings]

Hello?

We're gonna have to postpone
the last one.

Uh, no way, pops.
Now this is the big one.

The one that makes it
all worthwhile.

I do the plannin'.
I'll decide when we go.

We go tonight, pops.

Now the whole idea was
we hit fast,

get out and never come back.

You wanna go to jail?

That's what will happen
if we drag

this thing out.
Now what's happened?

It's nothin'
to get worked up about.

Just a country marshal
nosin' around.

- The one in the papers?
Jenkins: The same.

I say we waste him.

You say something
like that again

and I'll put you out of business

just like
I put you into business.

Marshal or no marshal,
we're going tonight.

I say no!

Virgil: It's not at your hands,
pops.

Anyway, this is the last one.

We won't be needin' you
after this.

Listen, you...
[line disconnects]

Mark? Virg.

[inhales] Listen, we got us
a little added burden tonight.

[sighs] The old man's let
that McCloud fella spook him.

[chuckles] Yeah.
I was thinkin' the same thing.

I'll meet you there.

[doorbell buzzes]

- Who is it?
Samantha: Uh, a former admirer.

Hello.

Come in.

Ah, it's not bad.
Not bad at all.

Although I might have expected
a pirate

to live in something
a little bit more luxurious.

So that's what
this is all about.

Mm-hmm. Tell me something.

Just where do you get off
stealing my story?

The lovely Park Avenue columnist

who's never had to struggle
for anything more vital

to her survival
than a padded bra.

My dear Samantha.

- Mmm.
- For your information--

Ah-ha, the day
that I have to depend upon you

for my information is the day
I throw in the towel.

Meanwhile, allow me
to leave an impression

on that very carefully
made-up face of yours.

Don't bother to show me out.

- No bother.
- What?

[screaming]

[comical music]

You... [screams]

[screaming and grunting]

[crash]

[screaming and grunting]

[crash]

No!

[crash]

[crash]

Samantha: I'll get you for this.

[crash] That will cost you.

- Wanna bet?
- You, you, you...

[indistinct shouting]

[knock on door]

- [gasps]
- Ah, who is it?

Just me coming by
to bring a peace offering.

[gasping]

I'll be a blue-eyed polecat.

Ah, you snake!

You! I'll get you!

Geri: Not the vase! Not...

[crash]

I'll just come back when
you haven't got company, Geri.

I wish
I would have clobbered him.

Look, if anybody's
gonna be clobber him

around here, it's gonna be me.

- You?
- I have the right!

You have the right?

He locked me in the bathroom!

He did what?

He locked me in the bathroom
twice!

The first time he picked me up

like a sack of potatoes
and dumped me,

and the second time,
he used treachery and deceit.

How do you think
you got your story?

- He did all that to you?
- Yes.

How sweet.

Sweet?

Sweet?

I'll show you sweet!
I'll show you sweet.

[instrumental music]

Here you are, marshal.

Every robbery
involving antique firearms

which occurred anywhere
within the territory

of United States
for the past 12 months.

That's good.
You don't mind if I sit down

and look it over, do you?

Mmm.

McCloud: There you are.
There's some important

information missing here.

I guess that kind of puts
the lid on the case.

You talking to me, marshal?

- I was hoping I'd be wrong.
- About what?

About you being responsible
for the robberies.

I kind of like you, Elroy.

I-- I guess I have a notion
as to why you did it.

Is this when I'm supposed
to break down and confess?

No, there's no need for that.
It's all right here.

It's just a matter
of simple deduction.

You-- you mean you-- you deduced

that I was guilty
from that piece of paper?

This paper
just seals your guilt.

You know, you left
the one name off of this paper

that you shouldn't have.

That was the Denver Museum.

Pretty flimsy evidence.

Everybody makes mistakes,
McCloud.

Specially computers.

Well, that's possible, yeah,

but you know
you're from Denver, Elroy,

and I understand
you took a trip home

around Christmastime.

Oh, now come on, McCloud,

if I was furnishing

inside information
to those outlaws

about what to rob and where,

do you think I'd take that risk
for eleven hundred lousy dollars

when this company
trades in thousands of dollars,

and-- and even millions?

Well, that was
the smartest thing you did.

You know, you had the entire
New York Police Department

runnin' around
spinnin' its wheels.

They never did get back your way

even when your boys hit
the big money.

That fence you're a-building
has a lot of loose boards.

Well, I can nail them down
awful fast.

Matter of fact, I got
enough evidence on you right now

to take you in.

[melancholic music]

You know, marshal,

there used to be
a Brinkman office in Denver.

I helped build that office
to the best one

in the whole organization.

And then one day,
some young fella

comes in from New York City

and says there-- there ain't
gonna be any more Denver office.

That we were in an era
of computerized centralization.

That meant you go back
and live in New York City

or you get fired.

And so I left Denver...

the mountains...

the clean air,
and the nice folks...

and I came here
to New York City.

But I knew that me

and the Brinkman Security
organization

I'd given my whole life to

had come to a parting
of the ways.

Man rides the same trail
all of his life,

he...

he doesn't need to tell
his horse which way to go

to get home
at the end of the day.

He just kind of naturally goes
in that direction.

Sounds to me like you're trying
to get home to Colorado

before sundown.

Don't look like
I'll make it after all.

However, maybe you could see
your way clear to...

grant me a little favor.

If I can.

Well, don't let it end here
in this room.

Let me go out of here
with my head up...

past those damnable machines.

I'll go downtown with you.

You won't need no cuffs.

Sounds fair enough.

Hold it right there, marshal.

Now get in this van.

- Come on, move!
- Come on, move.

Let's go.

Come on, move! [gunshot]

Come on!

[dramatic music]

[horses neighing]

Well, I sure wanna thank you
for everything, Elroy.

Never could have done it
without you.

Man's gonna bleed to death.
He needs to get to a doctor.

Well, now, marshal,
we've got other plans tonight.

Yes, sir, this is our last job.

Two and a half million dollars.

Enough to make an old man
like me retire. [laughs]

Yes, sir.

[horses neighing]

Good luck to you now.

Come on before that truck blows.

[grunts]

[grunting]

Elroy.

Elroy, you think maybe
you could loosen that knot?

- Yeah.
- Take it easy.

Sorry I... made it
so bad for you, Sam.

You gotta catch them.

You gotta catch... [coughs]

Where are they gonna pull
this job? Where are they...

What was he talking about,
two and a half million dollars?

[coughs] It's an armored car.

It comes in late every Friday

from Long Island.

It's big receipts from all the
[coughs] shopping centers.

[siren blaring]

An armored car?
Elroy, you can't stop

an armored car
with a shotgun and a log.

That's all that matters.

It's surprise... [coughs]

What kind of a surprise?

Only way you can take
an armored car--

What kind of a surprise?

You gotta put somethin'...

in-- in front of those boys

that's so [grunts] outlandish
that...

so they'll put their guard down

for a [coughs] a split second.

[siren blaring]

What good's a second gonna do?

A second is a hesitation

and then-- then it's all over.

Hey, is that it? Try it.

[Jenkins grunts]

Where are they gonna...

pull this job, Elroy?

Jenkins: The bridge.

You don't have much time.

It's the bridge
where they're gonna...

stop the armored car.

McCloud: What bridge
are you talking about?

[siren blaring]

What bridge?

What bridge?

[indistinct chatter]

Help!

[clamoring]

Alright, Jim,
now, look, I want you

to watch that number two hose...

Get some of those guys in there.
Give him a hand with that.

Where's that bridge
into town from Long Island?

- 59th Street.
- I gotta use your car.

Get lost, will you?
Hey, Jim, I told you--

I'm Marshal Sam McCloud.

I'm with the New York City
Police Department.

- I'm officially commandeering--
- Hey, wait a minute, cowboy.

Who are you kiddin'? This here
is an official vehicle. Nobody--

Now, well, this official badge,
it says that I'm going to use

your car because
this is a police emergency.

Police emergency?
Who are you kiddin'?

[siren blaring]

[dramatic music]

[horses neighing]

[intense music]

[siren blaring]

[siren blaring]

[siren blaring]

[dramatic music]

Welcome to Manhattan.

Yeah. Whoopie! [chuckles]

What in the name of...

Hey, what's this,
some kind of put on?

Last night on the news...

[indistinct chatter]

[explodes]

[siren blaring]

[sizzles]

[explosion]

Okay, let's move.
We got a minute to get it off.

Now let's go.

[siren blaring]

Hold it! Hold it right there!
[gunshot]

[gunshots]

Hey, I got his tire. Let's go!

[gunshots]

Virg, the truck.
He's taken the truck.

Let's get out of here.

How are we gonna get off
this bridge?

I don't know about you, fellas,
but it's every man for himself.

[sirens blaring]

He's not going anywhere now.
Boys, come on!

Oh, my leg!

Let's get out of here.

[groans] You broke my leg.

You try and move
and you might just lose it.

Ha!

[intense music]

[gunshots]

[sirens blaring]

411, go ahead.

[telephone rings]

[groans]

Hello? Who's this?

Oh, hello, Mr. Harris.

No, I was just...

Well, no, I-- I really
haven't been listening

to the police calls.

Uh, what?

They what? On the bridge?

Our bridge?

Oh, yes, sir. I'll be over there
right away, sir.

I'm on-- I'm on my way.

[dramatic music]

You know what they say,
[gunshot]

seeing is believing [gunshot]

and your idea [gunshot]
just isn't real.

- [people screaming]
Man 2: You can't have people...

[crash]

Bored and you gotta have

some kind of realism left.

[horses galloping]

As... as I was saying, Charlie,

we believe in realism...

[gasps]

[gunshot]

[dog barking]

[siren blaring]

[car screeches]

[dramatic music]

[indistinct chatter]

[gunshot]

[siren blaring]

[gunshot] Out of my way, boys!

Get out of my way.

[sirens blaring]

411, go ahead.

Man on radio: Chief, they just
jumped over the roadblock.

You won't believe this,
they're galloping past 59th.

Clifford: Tell me
it isn't happening, Joe.

[dramatic music]

[gunshot]

[siren blaring]

[gunshots]

You're not going any place!

We got you
in what they call a box canyon!

Get your hands up over your head
and come on out of there!

Get him!

[reporters clamoring]

[indistinct
police radio chatter]

McCloud: Let's go. Get them out!

You got one more chance!

[indistinct
police radio chatter]

Get your hands up!

Higher!

Take him!

By the time you get back
out on the streets...

these whiskers will be real.

Take him.

[indistinct
police radio chatter]

Alright, alright, you guys.

Quiet now.
I'll take care of it.

News boys are here, chief.
They want a statement.

Broadhurst, give him a hand
with those reporters.

McCloud...

you realize that you have broken

just about every city ordinance
in the book.

Commandeering a fire vehicle,

galloping a horse
through the city streets,

jumping said horse
over a police barricade

endangering public property.

Do you realize what
a professional job you've done?

Good work, McCloud.

Samantha: Uh, Sam.

Sam, I have to talk to you.

Sgt. Broadhurst is taking care
of the press, Miss Johnson.

Now, Sam, after all
we've been through together,

I expect a little
more than this.

After all we've been
through together, you're lucky

that I don't lock you
in the trunk of this police car.

But, Sam,
my job's hanging by a thread.

So is your life.

Samantha: Facts, Sam,
that's all I'm interested in.

A few simple facts.

- Whoo!
- Hey, hey, give me those keys.

Samantha: Unh-unh-unh-unh.

- Give me those keys.
- Unh-unh-unh.

- Give me those keys.
- Disguises.

- Why disguises?
- No, you don't.

Come on, give me the keys.
Keys, come on.

Wait, uh, uh...
They wore the disguises

so nobody would recognize them.
Their ages, their colorin'.

Now come on, give me the keys.

Then why did the Brinkman brain

come up
with the Hole in the Wall gang?

Because with the kind of facts

that Elroy fed
into that computer,

it was the only answer
that it could come up with.

Now give me the keys.

But-- but what about
the Brownstone

and the missing Roy Parker?

He was legitimate, Sam,

and everything
in that Brownstone was real.

But the clippings were Elroy's.

- No!
- I said...

They say he knew
his friend Parker

was out of town
for a couple of weeks

so he figured
it was now or never.

And that's what
it's gonna be with you

if you don't give me those keys.

Now or never!

Well, alright,
I guess the interview's over.

Thanks a heap.

Thanks for the story, Sam.
Muah.

Oh, and give my regards to Geri.

[instrumental music]

[doorbell buzzes]

- Who is it?
McCloud: Three guesses.

H.R. Haldeman?

McCloud: [sighs] Come on, Geri,
open up. I wanna talk to you.

Sam Ervin Jr.?

Jack the Ripper?

McCloud: Okay, alright, okay.

So, uh, you don't
wanna see me now.

I can understand that.
I'll come back later.

Goodnight, Geri.

Sam.

- McCloud!
- Yes, ma'am.

Awfully sure of yourself,
aren't you?

Whoo!

[chuckles]

We had a party.

Yeah, I know.
I was here for part of it.

Alright, Sam,
what's your explanation?

Explanation about what?

Young lady

locked in your hotel room?

[chuckles]
Well, I don't have one.

I don't really need one
because...

you know that I would rather
spend five minutes with you...

than I would an hour in heaven.
You know that?

Oh, Sam.

- Sam.
- Hmm.

Do I smell perfume?

[chuckles]

[sighs] I don't wanna
go through all that again.

[chuckles] Goodnight, Sam.

I-- I can explain the perfume.

- Did you kiss her?
- What?

Yes or no?
Did you kiss her?

No.

I mean, it wasn't what
you'd call a, uh... [chuckles]

It wasn't, uh,
that kind of a kiss.

It was just a, you know,
a little, uh, peck

on the cheek out of gratitude
is, uh...

That's all. Just a peck--

You mean like this?

[chuckles]

You put me on, didn't you, huh?

Okay,
you got your pound of flesh.

I hope you're satisfied.

It will take more than that
to satisfy me, marshal.

Hey, you know somethin'?

You New York women are corrupt.

Right down to the bone,
you're corrupt.

Did you know that?

You did?

You know what my granddaddy
used to say about corruption?

Hmm?

He used to say that
if you can't make 'em,

then join 'em.

[theme music]