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>> LASSITER JENKINS, SENATOR
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FROM THE STATE OF TENNESSEE...
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FAMILY MAN...
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LEADER OF THE PRAY FOR OIL
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FAITH INITIATIVE...
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AND A SECRET PETER TWEETER.
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>> AH, THERE'S JUST NO REASON TO
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SEE ONE OF THOSE.
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>> YEAH.
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MAN LIKES TO SHOW HIS JUNK.
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NOW, WHAT I NEED IS AN EMISSARY
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TO GO FIND THE ESTEEMED SENATOR,
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PRESENT HIM WITH THESE
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GLAMOUR SHOTS, AND PERSUADE HIM
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TO PUT ME ON THE NICKEL.
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HUH?
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HEH.
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ALL RIGHT.
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SO WHO WANTS THIS ONE?
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>> ME! ME! ME! ME!
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ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!
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ME! ME! ME! ME!
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I CALL IT! I CALLED IT!
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>> CLAUDE, I THINK I SAW YOUR
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HAND GO UP FIRST.
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>> IT'S ALL FOR YOU, SATAN.
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I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.
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>> WHOA. HEY.
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CLAUDE'S MY INTERN.
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HE IS GREAT AND ALL, AND I
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APPRECIATE HIS ENERGY.
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BUT, I JUST FEEL THAT MY TALENTS
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ARE BEING WASTED JUST SITTING
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HERE ON THIS RED-HOT IRON SPIKE.
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>> ALL RIGHT, FINE.
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BOOK IT WITH TRAVEL.
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>> YEAH! GARY!
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>> ALSO, UH, GARY, WHY DON'T
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YOU GO AHEAD AND EAT THESE, TOO.
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>> OH, OKAY.
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DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO
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DO WITH THE MISSION?
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>> WHAT? NO, THAT'S JUST FOR MY
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AMUSEMENT.
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BON APPรฉTIT.
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GOOD MEETING, EVERYBODY.
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>> SENATOR JENKINS' OFFICE.
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>> [ High-pitched ] YES, HI.
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I AM A REGISTERED VOTER, AND I
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WAS CALLING TO SPEAK WITH
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SENATOR JENKINS.
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>> THE SENATOR'S NOT HERE RIGHT
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NOW.
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HE'S ON VACATION.
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>> OH, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
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[ Normal voice ] BUT, I DO NOW!
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THANK YOU!
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BOO-YAH!
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OH, SHOOT.
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[ HIGH-PITCHED MUMBLING ]
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ALL RIGHT. I GOT IT.
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[ DIALING ]
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[ RINGING ]
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>> SENATOR JENKINS' OFFICE.
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>> [ High-pitched ] HI.
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YES, THIS IS THE -- THIS IS THE
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VOTER FROM BEFORE, AND I WAS
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CALLING TO SEE IF YOU HAD A,
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UH, OH, NO, AN EXACT LOCATION
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OR A PHONE NUMBER FOR THE
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SENATOR.
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>> NO, I CANNOT GIVE YOU THAT.
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>> [ GRUNTS ]
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>> OKAY?
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>> OKAY, THANK YOU. GOODBYE.
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>> HE'S IN THE SMOKY MOUNTAINS.
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>> [ Normal voice ] OH, HEY.
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>> I REALLY THOUGHT, UH, I WAS
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GONNA GET TO DO THIS ONE, SO I
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HIGHLIGHTED HIS HIKING ROUTE.
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>> THANK YOU FOR THIS.
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YOU WANT A BRIQUETTE?
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[ WOMAN SINGING IN FRENCH ]
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>> [ Echoing ] HELP!
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>> HELLO?
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>> DOWN HERE!
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HEY, MAN, HELP! HERE I AM!
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HEY, HEY, HEY!
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HELP!
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>> DON'T YOU WORRY, ALL RIGHT?
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I'LL BE DOWN IN A JIFF.
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[ GRUNTS ]
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AAH! AAH!
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[ GRUNTING ]
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OW!
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OOH.
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OOH!
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>> YEAH, THAT ROOT WAS SLIPPERY,
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HUH?
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>> YEAH.
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IS THERE ANY CHANCE THAT YOU ARE
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UNITED STATES SENATOR
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LASSITER JENKINS?
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>> NO.
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>> CAN I HAVE SOME OF THIS?
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>> OH, NO. THAT'S URINE.
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I'VE BEEN PISSING IN THAT FOR
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TWO DAYS.
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>> HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
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HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
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[ DIALING ]
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>> YELLO?
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>> CLAUDE, THANK GOD! THANK GOD.
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DON'T TELL SATAN THIS, BUT I
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AM TRAPPED IN A RAVINE.
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>> HEY, GAR!
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>> I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM!
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ALL RIGHT, I'M BLEEDING.
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>> YEAH, MAN.
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I CAN HARDLY HEAR YOU, BUT IT
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SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE HAVING A
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GREAT TIME, BRO.
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WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A CALL
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BACK TOMORROW WHEN I'M BACK IN
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THE OFFICE?
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>> THIS IS YOUR OFFICE LINE,
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CLAUDE.
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>> RIGHT, WHATEVER.
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>> CLAUDE!
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>> DICK.
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[ DIAL TONE ]
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>> OKAY, BUDDY.
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[ LAUGHS ]
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YOU TOO, MAN.
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ALL RIGHT.
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CHECK YOU ON THE FLIP.
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OHH, DO YOU HAVE ANY ASPIRIN?
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>> MY BOSS IS A TOTAL DICKHEAD.
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>> YEAH.
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MY BOSS IS THE LIVING EMBODIMENT
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OF ALL EVIL.
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>> YEAH, MINE TOO.
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HE'S ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A
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WAY TO TEAR ME A NEW ASSHOLE,
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LITERALLY.
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>> YEAH, MINE TOO!
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LIKE, LITERALLY TEARS ME A
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NEW ASSHOLE.
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>> YEAH, LITERALLY!
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MINE LITERALLY, TOO.
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>> MINE LITERALLY TORE ME A NEW
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ASSHOLE.
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IT'S IN MY ARMPIT.
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WHERE'S YOURS?
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I WOULD SHOW YOU MINE, BUT
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IT'S GOT THE RUNS RIGHT NOW.
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>> OH, MINE'S NOT LIKE
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LITERALLY.
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>> YEAH, I MEAN LIKE LITERALLY.
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>> OKAY.
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>> YEAH, YEAH.
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>> A LOT OF PEOPLE MISUSE THAT
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WORD.
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[ TAPPING ]
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>> HOW'S YOUR SPEAR COMING
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ALONG?
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BETTER BE SHARP BECAUSE WHEN
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THAT SQUIRREL COMES BY, I THINK
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WE'RE ONLY GONNA GET ONE MORE
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SHOT AT HIM.
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>> MM-HMM.
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>> YEAH.
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HE REALLY WANTS TO LIVE.
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BUT ON THAT NOTE, YOU'RE LEG IS
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NOT LOOKING GOOD, SO I THINK WE
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COULD TUCK INTO THAT PRETTY
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SOON.
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>> NO, MAN.
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WE'RE NOT EATING MY LEG.
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>> ARE YOU CHEWING SOMETHING?
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THERE'S A GRANOLA WRAPPER!
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WHAT DO YOU GOT IN THAT BAG?
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>> HEY!
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>> WHAT DO YOU GOT IN THAT BAG?
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>> HEY!
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THAT -- THAT'S PRIVATE!
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>> YEAH?! WELL, FINE!
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FINE!
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'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?
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'CAUSE IF I WANT FOOD, I CAN
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JUST GO OUT AND I CAN HUNT WITH
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THESE TWO GUYS.
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I DON'T EVEN NEED THIS KNIFE.
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JUST -- [ SCREAMS ]
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GAAAAAH!
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>> DON'T DO THAT.
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HEY, I GOT A LOT OF YOGURT
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RAISINS, AND YOU CAN HAVE ONE.
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>> YOU KNOW WHAT? NO.
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I'M GONNA EAT THESE BERRIES.
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>> NO, NO, NO. DON'T EAT THAT.
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THOSE ARE POISONOUS, MAN.
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>> NICE TRY.
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THESE ARE MINE.
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MMM.
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IF YOU WANT SOME, GO GET YOUR
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OWN.
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[ GRUNTING ]
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>> OH!
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ARE YOU OKAY?
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>> I'M FINE.
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[ GRUNTS ]
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DO YOU HAVE ANY PEPTO IN YOUR
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BAG?
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>> NO, MAN.
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WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE IN
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YOUR BAG?
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IT'S FILLED WITH CRAP.
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YOU HAVE BOTTLE ROCKETS?!
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>> YEAH, I WAS SAVING THEM FOR
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THE FOURTH.
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>> THEY'RE WET OR SOMETHING.
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WE GOTTA USE YOUR HORN, MAN.
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>> USE YOUR HORN.
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THAT'S GONNA HURT ME.
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>> I DON'T HAVE A HORN.
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>> [ GRUNTS ]
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>> NO!
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[ BOTTLE ROCKET WHISTLES ]
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>> LET'S MEET AGAIN, BROTHER.
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THIS VERY SAME SPOT A YEAR FROM
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NOW.
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>> LET'S DO IT ON TOP OF THE
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RAVINE NEXT TIME.
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>> YEAH.
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>> [ LAUGHS ]
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>> YEAH.
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>> BUT, YOU REMEMBER WHAT I
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SAID.
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TAKE LIFE BY THE HORNS.
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>> I DON'T REMEMBER YOU SAYING
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ANYTHING LIKE THAT, GARY, BUT
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YOU, TOO, MAN.
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>> THAT GUY...
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MY...HORN.
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MY HORN!
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YOU'VE GOT MY HORN! GUYS!
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>> OH, GARY, YOU WERE GONE A
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WHILE.
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WE WERE, UH, GETTING WORRIED.
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WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR LEG?
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>> OH, IT'S FINE! I JUST...
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JUST KINDA TWISTED IT.
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>> OH, OKAY.
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UH, SO...
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HOW WAS THE SENATOR?
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>> HE'S GOOD...
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HE'S -- HE'S GOOD.
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>> AH, GREAT.
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SO, YOU SEE, YOU FOUND HIM
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OUT THERE IN THE WOODS, HUH?
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>> OH, MOST CERTAINLY.
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BECAUSE PHOTOS...
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DON'T LIE.
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>> WOW.
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THIS IS GREAT.
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WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO
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JENKINS, DID HE MENTION JUST
269
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,042
HAVING, LIKE, UH, LIKE, UH,
270
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,296
I DON'T KNOW, AN IDENTICAL TWIN
271
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,744
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
272
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:46,569
NO? NOTHING?
273
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:47,584
A DOPPELGANGER? NO?
274
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:48,975
THAT'S WEIRD BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
275
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,306
WHILE YOU WERE JERKING OFF IN
276
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:53,650
THE WOODS, CLAUDE WAS, UH, VERY
277
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,247
ACTIVELY BUSY FINDING THE REAL
278
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,319
SENATOR JENKINS IN THIS HOTEL
279
00:06:58,318 --> 00:06:59,148
ROOM.
280
00:06:59,152 --> 00:06:59,922
>> YEAH, SATAN.
281
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,150
UH, SOMETHING JUST DIDN'T SIT
282
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,564
RIGHT ABOUT THE WHOLE "HIKING"
283
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:02,856
THING.
284
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:03,816
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
285
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,164
>> GARY, YOU HAVE LIED TO ME FOR
286
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,559
THE LAST TIME.
287
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,901
I AM DEMOTING YOU TO COAL
288
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,827
SHOVELING...
289
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,932
FOREVER!
290
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,274
>> [ COUGHS ]
291
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,268
ALL THE COAL IN THE HOLE.
292
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,440
[ RUSTLING ]
293
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,846
MORE?
294
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:25,845
SERIOUSLY?
295
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:26,676
COME ON!
296
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,020
COME ON, GUYS.
297
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,675
>> YOU KNOW ALL THIS COAL WE'RE
298
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:30,183
SHOVELING?
299
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,023
>> YEAH.
300
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:35,089
>> I CARVED AN "X" ON A PIECE OF
301
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,188
COAL.
302
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,029
I PUT IT IN THERE, AND IT JUST
303
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:39,685
CAME OUT AND FELL IN FRONT OF
304
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:40,033
US.
305
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:41,257
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, THEN THAT
306
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:42,861
WOULD MEAN THAT THIS WHOLE THING
307
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:43,863
IS A WASTE OF TIME.
308
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:46,074
>> GARY!
309
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,636
>> THAT'S YOU!
310
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,365
THEY'RE CALLING YOU.
311
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,769
>> [ LAUGHS ]
312
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,211
I KNEW THIS WOULDN'T LAST
313
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,235
FOREVER!
314
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,810
>> HEY, GARY.
315
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,278
LONG TIME, HUH?
316
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:58,877
LOOK WHAT I GOT HERE.
317
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,379
IT'S A BOOK.
318
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,821
AND LOOK WHO WROTE IT.
319
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,046
>> THE BUDDY OF YOURS FROM THE
320
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,221
RAVINE?
321
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,048
>> "TAKE LIFE BY THE HORNS:
322
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,624
HOW A DEMON TAUGHT ME TO
323
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:09,962
RAISE HELL WITHOUT GOING
324
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:10,387
THERE."
325
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,630
>> IT'S GOT THE SECRET HELL
326
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,055
HANDSHAKE.
327
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,229
IT'S GOT THE FINGER LIGHTENING.
328
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,226
IT'S GOT EVERYTHING, GARY.
329
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,127
>> BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
330
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,398
"MINIONS, BEHIND HIS BACK, HAVE
331
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:17,326
BEEN KNOWN TO CALL HIM
332
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,970
BEELZLEBOOBS."
333
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:19,826
>> [ LAUGHS ]
334
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,803
>> YOU'RE LAUGHING?
335
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:22,741
>> I NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE.
336
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,766
NO ONE'S GONNA READ THIS STUPID
337
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:25,242
BOOK.
338
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,238
>> IT'S A BEST-SELLER.
339
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,339
PEOPLE ARE READING IT ON THE
340
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:27,910
BEACH.
341
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,078
>> YEAH. HE'S DOING SEMINARS.
342
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:29,976
"DO IT THE GARY WAY".
343
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,777
>> EVERYONE'S REAL INSPIRED BY
344
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:32,779
THIS GUY, GARY.
345
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:36,920
I WANT YOU TO UNINSPIRE THEM.
346
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:37,587
[ GUN COCKS ]
347
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:39,315
>> ALEX!
348
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,849
>> GARY!
349
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,364
[ CHUCKLES ]
350
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,185
IN THE FLESH!
351
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,830
TO WHAT DO I OWE THE PLEASURE?
352
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:45,585
COME ON IN, MAN.
353
00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:46,593
>> WHAT'S UP, MAN?
354
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:47,964
>> YEAH, MAN, I WANT TO
355
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,431
INTRODUCE YOU TO MY PUBLISHER.
356
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:52,099
HE SAYS YOUR A HALLUCINATION.
357
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,969
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
358
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,437
>> YEAH, I BET.
359
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:55,995
>> YEAH!
360
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,543
>> [ LAUGHS ]
361
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,537
HEY, UM...
362
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,439
WHAT IF I KILL YOU AND I MAKE IT
363
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:07,012
LOOK LIKE A SUICIDE?
364
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,284
>> NO. NO.
365
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,152
THAT'S NOT THE GARY WAY, MAN.
366
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,291
>> I'M GARY, ASSHOLE!
367
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,885
YOU HAVE MY HORN, AND YOU TOLD
368
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,187
PEOPLE THAT I CRIED AT THE
369
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,618
BOTTOM OF THE RAVINE.
370
00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:18,364
>> GARY, MY EDITOR SAID THAT
371
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:20,228
MAKES YOU MORE SYMPATHETIC, SO
372
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,357
IT REALLY WORKED.
373
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,161
>> [ MOANS ]
374
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,303
WHERE'S YOUR CAN?
375
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,027
>> IF YOU GOTTA DROP ANCHOR,
376
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,073
MAN, HALF BATH.
377
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,997
>> MAN, THIS PLACE IS CRAZY BIG.
378
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,242
>> COURTESY FLUSH, TOO?
379
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,968
>> SATAN JUST HAD A COUPLE OF
380
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,543
NOTES ABOUT A SECOND REVISION
381
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:36,041
BEFORE YOU GO IN THERE.
382
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,053
HE REALLY WOULD LIKE YOU TO
383
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,145
MENTION WHAT A BADASS HE IS.
384
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,507
AND ALSO, COULD YOU PUT
385
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:43,484
SOMETHING IN THERE ABOUT HOW CUT
386
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:44,223
HE IS?
387
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,317
HE'S JUST GOT WATERFALL ABS.
388
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,389
>> LET ME SHOW YOU THE COOL WAY
389
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:50,217
TO MASTURBATE, HOLLYWOOD-STYLE.
390
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,363
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
391
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,158
EVERYBODY IS DOING THIS.
392
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,430
>> AND ONE LITTLE LAST NOTE:
393
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,997
YOU COULD TAKE YOUR ORIGINAL
394
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,496
MANUSCRIPT AND EVERY SINGLE COPY
395
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:58,667
OF THE BOOK AND BURN IT.
396
00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,026
I'M JUST REALLY GLAD YOU'RE OPEN
397
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,203
TO TAKING NOTES 'CAUSE A LOT OF
398
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,241
PEOPLE ARE REALLY SENSITIVE
399
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,335
ABOUT --
400
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:03,996
CLAUDE?
401
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,374
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, MAN?
402
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,512
>> WHAT YOU COULDN'T.
403
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,276
[ BELT SNAPS ]
404
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:14,206
>> [ GRUNTS ]
405
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,954
>> HEY, ARE YOU SHOVELING THE
406
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,689
GARY WAY?
407
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:20,385
SHOVEL THE GARY WAY!
408
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,217
[ LAUGHS ]
409
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,021
>> [ LAUGHS ]
410
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:22,962
YEAH, THAT IS FUNNY.
411
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,516
[ LAUGHS ]
412
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,134
>> HEY, GARY, EDDIE, HOW ARE
413
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:26,456
YOU?
414
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,359
>> HI.
415
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,360
>> YOU REMEMBER ALEX, DON'T YOU?
416
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,232
>> HEY, MAN! WHAT'S UP?
417
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,971
WHAT YOU DOING?
418
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,936
>> I'M BEING PUT IN HELL.
419
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:35,965
HEY, I WAS TOLD I'M SUPPOSED
420
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,039
TO SHOVE THIS UP YOUR ASS OR
421
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,137
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SHOVE IT UP
422
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,408
MINE OR SOMETHING.
423
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,207
>> YOU FIRST.
424
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,108
>> I TELL YOU WHAT.
425
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,079
WHY DON'T WE FLIP A COIN?
426
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,306
GARY, YOU CALL.
427
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,552
>> TAILS.
428
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:47,446
OH, WOW, IS THAT NEW?
429
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,477
IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD.
430
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,251
>> CAME OUT NICE.
431
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,379
>> I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GOT ALL
432
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,223
THE DETAIL ON THAT.
433
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,118
THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING.
434
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:52,719
>> FRANKLIN MINT.
435
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:53,490
UH, THAT'S HEADS.
436
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,546
SO WHY DON'T YOU BEND OVER?
437
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,564
I GOT TO HEAD BACK TO THE
438
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:56,085
OFFICE.
439
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:56,989
GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS.
440
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,560
>> OKAY. YEAH.
441
00:10:58,558 --> 00:10:59,728
COOL BEANS.
442
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:00,727
>> UM, ARE YOU GONNA PULL DOWN
443
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:01,958
YOUR PANTS OR DO I STICK IT --
444
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,062
>> NO, YOU CAN PUSH IT THROUGH.
445
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,103
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE PANTS.
446
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,127
>> AM I JUST SUPPOSED TO SHOVE
447
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:05,402
IT?
448
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,468
>> OH, YEAH, JUST SHOVE IT RIGHT
449
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,066
IN THERE.
450
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:07,967
>> IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT'S
451
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:08,398
GONNA FIT.
452
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,501
>> OH, YEAH. IT NEVER DOES.
453
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,072
>> OKAY.
454
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,070
>> ARE YOU DOING IT THE
455
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,211
GARY WAY?
27157
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