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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:12,780 Oh, my God, Maggie. What is she doing? 2 00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:14,360 Where did you find this? 3 00:00:14,460 --> 00:00:16,139 Her roommate's mother sent it to me, 4 00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:17,159 because she's worried. 5 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:18,840 Oh, it's mesmerizing. 6 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:20,930 What is it? Is it porn? 7 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,739 It's called breadfacing, and yes, 8 00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:26,100 people are definitely jerking off to it. 9 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,580 This is a cry for help. 10 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,000 Actually, it's hard to cry with bread in your mouth. 11 00:00:37,490 --> 00:00:38,590 I'll throw it out. 12 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:48,360 Oh, my God. 13 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,140 Lauren, what the hell? 14 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:52,100 Relax. It's for an event tonight. 15 00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:56,320 Here's your dry-cleaning. 16 00:00:56,420 --> 00:00:57,970 I mean, it's not really dry-cleaned. 17 00:00:58,070 --> 00:00:59,990 I just ironed it really hard and put it in this bag, 18 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,110 but... whatever. 19 00:01:03,350 --> 00:01:04,440 Thank you. 20 00:01:06,110 --> 00:01:08,300 - Who is that? - Oh, that's my new intern. 21 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:09,559 You have an intern? 22 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,020 It's basically slave labor, 23 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:13,050 TBQH, but, you know, they're getting a credit for school, 24 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:14,460 so my conscience is clear. 25 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,580 Come on. Seriously? 26 00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:18,706 I know. I know. I am so sorry. 27 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,710 I just... I have a major deal tonight. 28 00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:21,900 Makeup? 29 00:01:21,980 --> 00:01:24,540 Yeah, it's makeup you can eat, but I wouldn't. 30 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,870 Can I get anyone some coffee? 31 00:01:26,970 --> 00:01:28,800 No, uh... 32 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:29,980 I'm good. 33 00:01:30,020 --> 00:01:31,920 I'm good, dude. 34 00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:33,020 Thank you, though. 35 00:01:36,490 --> 00:01:37,490 Who's he? 36 00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:40,300 Josh, their name is Tam, okay? 37 00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:42,310 You can't just assume everyone's pronouns, buddy. 38 00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:46,130 Okay, I'm gonna be down in the shop 39 00:01:46,230 --> 00:01:47,730 in case anyone needs me. 40 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,260 Josh, good morning. 41 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,380 Hey, good morning. 42 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,540 You haven't been returning any of my messages. 43 00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:01,399 I know, it's... 44 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,130 look, it's been a crazy week. 45 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,510 Josh, I need an answer. 46 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,439 I know. I'm figuring it out. 47 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,640 Just... give me 24 hours. 48 00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:12,840 Okay, 24 hours. 49 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,740 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 50 00:02:25,590 --> 00:02:26,780 Guys, I'm sorry. 51 00:02:26,790 --> 00:02:29,130 It's just it's the busiest season of the year. 52 00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,540 There's all these schmoozing events before the mid-terms. 53 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,100 We totally understand that. 54 00:02:33,140 --> 00:02:36,590 But last Thursday, we had a drop-dead date for chapter one 55 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,640 and yet still no chapter one. 56 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,830 Okay, no more excuses. 57 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:46,590 After this Arianna Huffington event tonight, 58 00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:48,310 I will hit the ground running. 59 00:02:48,410 --> 00:02:50,160 Ooh, what Arianna Huffington event? 60 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,510 It's on #negativethinking. 61 00:02:52,610 --> 00:02:56,100 Oh, yet another Twitter movement that I'm behind on. 62 00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:59,360 No, it's just an excuse to drink and to talk about 63 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,699 how liberals are still arguing 64 00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:02,340 about Bernie versus Hillary. 65 00:03:02,460 --> 00:03:05,260 It's cathartic, I think. 66 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,260 You should... you should come with me. 67 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:08,980 I would love to. 68 00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:12,410 Sorry, I've only got a plus-one. 69 00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:13,420 Oh, that's fine. 70 00:03:13,430 --> 00:03:15,420 I don't have the energy for that accent tonight. 71 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:16,880 You kids have fun. 72 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,220 Don't worry about me. 73 00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:32,280 _ 74 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:35,740 _ 75 00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:49,570 Popular, popular guy here. 76 00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:52,410 Yeah... 77 00:03:52,510 --> 00:03:54,170 Okay, sorry I keep parading you around here. 78 00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,820 Just talking about myself always makes me nervous. 79 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,000 Really? 80 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,340 It doesn't seem to bother you on your podcast. 81 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,739 You know, strangely, 82 00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:04,020 I think I am most comfortable 83 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,720 either in a crowd or alone. 84 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,079 One-on-one, I'm... 85 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:10,609 terrible. 86 00:04:10,610 --> 00:04:12,960 You're doing fine. 87 00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:14,600 Thanks. 88 00:04:15,090 --> 00:04:16,310 Jake. 89 00:04:16,410 --> 00:04:19,000 Oh, good. Here comes a crowd. 90 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:22,840 Guys, this is my editor, Kelsey Peters. 91 00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:24,920 - Hi. - Kelsey, this is Levitt 92 00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:26,010 and Charlotte. 93 00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:28,720 Their co-hosts of the podcast and spent some time 94 00:04:28,740 --> 00:04:29,869 with me in the White House. 95 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:30,940 I know who they are. 96 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,980 Still can't believe you got a book deal before me. 97 00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:35,620 I read "Conversations With My Doodle" and loved it. 98 00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:38,600 And surprisingly, not ironically. 99 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,780 That book was a surprise to all of us. 100 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,679 Kelsey just signed a content deal 101 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,300 with Reese Witherspoon's company. 102 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:45,700 What? Okay, don't move. 103 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,920 We're gonna get you a drink, 104 00:04:46,930 --> 00:04:48,056 and you're gonna tell us everything. 105 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,420 Okay. 106 00:04:51,220 --> 00:04:52,380 Come on. 107 00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:54,720 I don't want to share you tonight. 108 00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:02,520 - Ohh. - How about that view? 109 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,060 Come on. 110 00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,540 God, I love this city. 111 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,480 - There. - Oh, thanks. 112 00:05:13,390 --> 00:05:14,970 When do you go back to D.C.? 113 00:05:15,070 --> 00:05:16,850 Tomorrow morning. 114 00:05:17,140 --> 00:05:18,950 Wish I could stay longer. 115 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,150 Can I kiss you? 116 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:24,160 What? 117 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:26,980 Sorry. 118 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,360 I just thought that 119 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,239 Obama's speech writer would... 120 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,950 be a little smoother than that. 121 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,620 Oh, well, it worked on Michelle. 122 00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:37,610 I'm kidding. 123 00:05:37,611 --> 00:05:39,870 - Kidding. - Oh. 124 00:05:39,970 --> 00:05:41,520 I wish you weren't. 125 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,520 That would be so good in the book. 126 00:05:43,620 --> 00:05:44,880 Yeah. 127 00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:47,020 You really only care about the book? 128 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,540 I am your editor. 129 00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:53,340 Still haven't answered my question. 130 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,020 Falafels are on me. 131 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,100 Thank you. 132 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:14,160 My article on "Where Are They Now: The Members of O-Town" 133 00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:16,350 just got 100,000 views, so... 134 00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:18,030 Oh, well, congratulations? 135 00:06:18,130 --> 00:06:19,140 Thank you. 136 00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:20,530 - Oh. - Ooh. 137 00:06:20,570 --> 00:06:21,940 Sorry, it's icy. 138 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,150 I gotcha. 139 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,380 Thank you. 140 00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:26,259 Yeah, I'm... 141 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:29,220 I'm doing a series of "Where Are They Nows." 142 00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,920 The next one's on my dignity. 143 00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:34,290 Well, you do what you've got to do to pay the bills. 144 00:06:34,340 --> 00:06:35,620 Yep. 145 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,410 I still have to put together a listicle of GIFs 146 00:06:38,510 --> 00:06:39,810 called "Nun fails." 147 00:06:39,910 --> 00:06:41,789 Yeah. 148 00:06:41,790 --> 00:06:43,760 Oh, sorry. 149 00:06:44,510 --> 00:06:47,200 Oh, my God. 150 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:48,800 I was not prepared for that. 151 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:49,900 What is it? 152 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,220 My son sent me a picture... 153 00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:52,250 Oh, can I see? 154 00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,540 Of his penis. 155 00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:55,260 Did you ask for that? 156 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,489 He's 16, and he thinks 157 00:06:57,490 --> 00:06:58,549 he might have herpes. 158 00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,430 And how does it look? 159 00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:04,350 Um, like a teenager who masturbated too much. 160 00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:08,280 Sounds like you're close. 161 00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:12,120 As a divorced dad, I try to be there for him 162 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,840 without judgment. 163 00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:16,170 I just don't understand this generation's need 164 00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:17,850 to share everything. 165 00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:20,250 Well, at least he's not posting 166 00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:22,690 a picture of his penis online and mushing it into 167 00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,650 a loaf of pumpernickel. 168 00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:26,370 What? 169 00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:27,840 Never mind. 170 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,539 Oh! 171 00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:30,700 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my... 172 00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:33,300 - Are... are you okay? - Oh, my God. 173 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,300 I'm fine. So sorry. 174 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,550 Let me... let me just get my stuff. 175 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:40,850 - Ohh. - Ahh. 176 00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:45,120 Here's your license. 177 00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:49,800 And here's your other license. 178 00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:01,010 That's crazy. 179 00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:03,440 You're basically living a double life. 180 00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:05,890 I see it like this. 181 00:08:05,990 --> 00:08:07,959 The world is ageist, 182 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,639 and until that changes, 183 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:10,820 I can't play by the rules. 184 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:12,420 So true. 185 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,140 You are clever. 186 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,700 I have to be. 187 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,020 I have a daughter in college to support. 188 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,580 And no one has found out? 189 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:25,450 Well, let me just say that I wish I didn't have to continue 190 00:08:25,530 --> 00:08:27,529 the charade, but I have to to keep 191 00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:29,070 the millennial brand intact. 192 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:30,660 Wow. 193 00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:32,760 You are my hero. 194 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,740 I am nobody's hero. 195 00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:36,800 I'm a fraud. 196 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,120 But you do what you have to do. 197 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:44,330 Well, I can't pretend to be a hot young woman, 198 00:08:44,430 --> 00:08:47,140 but hopefully I can think of something. 199 00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:49,680 You're so talented. 200 00:08:50,390 --> 00:08:51,500 You will. 201 00:09:04,730 --> 00:09:08,070 Hey, Caitlin, it's... it's me again. 202 00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:10,530 I'm not sure if you got my last message. 203 00:09:10,540 --> 00:09:14,110 I just... just want to see what you're up to, honey. 204 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,000 If you're satisfied with your message, hang up... 205 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,440 - Damn it. - Or press... 206 00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:24,540 _ 207 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,239 - _ - What? 208 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,240 _ 209 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,020 How was Arianna Huffington's party? 210 00:09:36,030 --> 00:09:37,030 Fine. 211 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,540 Levitt tagged you in a picture. 212 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,540 You and Jake look cozy. 213 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,300 Cozier than an author and his editor should be. 214 00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:47,000 Calm down. 215 00:09:47,060 --> 00:09:48,219 We look cozy, 216 00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:51,000 because we're sitting on a velvet couch. 217 00:09:51,530 --> 00:09:53,600 Look, I can tell this guy's got a crush on you. 218 00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:55,719 You're too smart to do something 219 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,800 to jeopardize this book. 220 00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:59,980 You're right. I am. 221 00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:04,000 So I don't need to hear it from you. 222 00:10:21,540 --> 00:10:24,880 _ 223 00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:27,500 _ 224 00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:29,680 Hey, is this a blow-off? 225 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,889 It seems like he actually has work. 226 00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:33,510 I mean, you can't assume that everyone's lying 227 00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:35,430 just because you are. 228 00:10:35,530 --> 00:10:37,280 - Hi. - Hey. 229 00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:39,440 This event is so cool. 230 00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:41,400 I know. I know. 231 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,840 - Lip stain? - Oh, do I eat it or wear it? 232 00:10:43,940 --> 00:10:46,480 I'm not here to tell you what to do. 233 00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:48,770 I'll try it. I'm starving. 234 00:10:48,870 --> 00:10:50,330 Aren't they great? 235 00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:51,540 Who? 236 00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:53,850 Tam, my assistant. You just met them. 237 00:10:53,950 --> 00:10:55,490 I only saw one person. 238 00:10:55,590 --> 00:10:57,050 Tam is gender-queer. 239 00:10:57,150 --> 00:10:58,780 Gender-queer? 240 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,580 Oh. Oh, so he's bi? 241 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:02,239 Oh, my God. Liza, no. Please, do not... no, 242 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,900 do not use that word here. 243 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,900 Tam's pan-sexual, homo-romantic, 244 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,020 and their pronouns are they, them, and there. 245 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,706 All right, no more questions. It's offensive. 246 00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:12,350 The LGBTQIAPK community has been through enough. 247 00:11:12,450 --> 00:11:14,030 You lost me after T. 248 00:11:14,130 --> 00:11:16,630 Lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, questioning, 249 00:11:16,730 --> 00:11:19,000 intersex, asexual, pan, poly, kink. 250 00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:20,320 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 251 00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:22,560 Please keep your mingling to a minimum. 252 00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:25,400 Ooh, I was less confused in the closet. 253 00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:27,760 Ooh, how's the mascara? 254 00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:29,530 It tastes like burnt ass. 255 00:11:29,630 --> 00:11:31,570 You know what? I'm gonna go find some real food. 256 00:11:31,670 --> 00:11:33,210 I'll be back. 257 00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,530 Hmm, nutty. 258 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,090 Who are you texting? 259 00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:38,610 Jake Devereux. 260 00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:39,770 The Obama guy? 261 00:11:39,870 --> 00:11:41,620 He's cute and funny. 262 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,420 Uh-oh, you sure that's a good idea. 263 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,400 I hung out with him last night as his editor. 264 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,120 Okay, and we kissed. 265 00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:52,950 And I think I like him. 266 00:11:53,050 --> 00:11:55,040 - Kelsey. - I know. 267 00:11:57,330 --> 00:11:58,790 Just eat your mascara. 268 00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:07,560 Tam, lean in. 269 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,379 I will not. This is humiliating. 270 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:12,660 Oh. Yes. No, you're right. You're right. Selfies are dead. 271 00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:15,170 Ooh, Maggie, Maggie, will you take a picture of us? 272 00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:17,500 - Yeah, sure. - No. 273 00:12:17,830 --> 00:12:19,600 You're making a spectacle. 274 00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:21,410 Yeah, that's the whole point. 275 00:12:21,510 --> 00:12:24,300 Lauren, everything can't be in all-caps. 276 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,780 What do you mean? 277 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,460 Let me put this another way. 278 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,960 It's not cool. 279 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:31,979 Nobody posts anymore. 280 00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:33,349 It's all word of mouth. 281 00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:36,150 Oh, yes. No, no, okay, I was just being ironic. 282 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:37,430 This is for my finsta. 283 00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:38,950 That's "fake Instagram." 284 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,910 Millennials are so sad. 285 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,560 Oh, my God. 286 00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:46,640 Okay, that just happened. I'm old. 287 00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:48,640 - Don't make me choke you out. - What's wrong? 288 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,159 Tam's being a dick. 289 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,040 They just told Lauren that she's irrelevant. 290 00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:53,440 They're right, Liza. They are. 291 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,820 They're right. Millennials are over. We are done. 292 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,500 No, we're still happenin'. 293 00:12:58,670 --> 00:13:00,690 You know, getting older isn't so bad. 294 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,470 Maybe you want to try it sometime. 295 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,620 Hey, what's going on? 296 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,990 You want to come say good-bye to Inkburg? 297 00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:17,710 What are you talking about? 298 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,310 I'm done with this place, Liza. 299 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,019 Okay, just... you stay right there. 300 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,480 I'm coming over. 301 00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:41,500 Sorry, ma'am, we are closed. 302 00:13:41,870 --> 00:13:44,620 I already got my tattoo, thank you. 303 00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:46,740 What's going on? 304 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,379 My landlord wants me to sign 305 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:52,920 a ten-year lease or vacate. 306 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,480 Whoa, look who's an adult. 307 00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:58,820 I think I'm gonna vacate. 308 00:13:59,740 --> 00:14:01,380 Wh... you're gonna give Inkburg up? 309 00:14:02,410 --> 00:14:04,100 What are you gonna do instead? 310 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,400 Anything, really. 311 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,059 I could rent a chair 312 00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:09,859 at a tattoo shop in Portland, 313 00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:11,180 Silver Lake. 314 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,500 This place is your passion, your soul. 315 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,419 I just don't know if there's 316 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,599 anything here for me anymore. 317 00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:24,419 I don't know if I have it in me 318 00:14:24,420 --> 00:14:25,860 to make any more commitments. 319 00:14:26,540 --> 00:14:27,860 Are you kidding? 320 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,340 This is a commitment. 321 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,999 This is a commitment. 322 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,000 All of these are commitments to yourself. 323 00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:38,560 You can't go wrong committing to yourself. 324 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,560 Trust me. 325 00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:44,960 Trust you. 326 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,440 How can I be sure 327 00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:53,400 that this place is my future? 328 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:57,520 And what's keeping me here? 329 00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:00,000 You've got all of us, 330 00:15:00,990 --> 00:15:04,720 Maggie and Kelsey, and you've got me. 331 00:15:09,070 --> 00:15:13,140 No, I don't have you. 332 00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:22,510 I'm gonna clean up a little bit. 333 00:15:27,090 --> 00:15:30,270 Good night, Liza. 334 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:44,260 _ 335 00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:54,880 - Liza Miller speaking. - Hi, there. 336 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,040 This is May from "Vanity Fair." 337 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,540 I'm checking some details for a story about you. 338 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,820 About me? 339 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,140 - You and "Millennial." - Oh, okay. 340 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,289 I see here that you are one of the co-founders 341 00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:07,640 of "Millennial Print." 342 00:16:07,890 --> 00:16:10,960 - Yes. - And that you're 41. 343 00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:15,700 Uh... who's writing this article? 344 00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:18,080 Don Ridley. Can we confirm your age? 345 00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:21,419 Hey, we're late for the Reese meeting. 346 00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:22,640 Okay, I've got to go. Bye-bye. 347 00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:24,340 Let's go. Let's go. 348 00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,300 Come on. 349 00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:30,189 You told Don your real age? 350 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,100 No, he saw both my IDs when I slipped on ice 351 00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:34,330 and dropped my bag. 352 00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:36,340 Well, why didn't you make up a story, 353 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,220 like, tell him you were trying to get discounts or something? 354 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,180 - On what? - I don't know. 355 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,540 What do old people buy? 356 00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,980 I'm not a senior citizen, and that's not the point. 357 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,780 "Vanity Fair" is going to publish an article exposing me. 358 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:48,800 What? 359 00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,710 Oh, my God. They're calling me now. 360 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,720 Don't answer it. 361 00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:55,510 Okay, we cannot deal with this. 362 00:16:55,610 --> 00:16:58,219 Whatever we do, we cannot let Reese's people know. 363 00:16:58,220 --> 00:16:59,360 Not a word. 364 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,520 Ahh. 365 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:01,780 Okay, let me see. 366 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,280 New phone. Who dis? 367 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:13,050 I received a very unsettling phone call 368 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,356 from a fact-checker this morning. 369 00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,139 She was insinuating something very odd 370 00:17:16,140 --> 00:17:17,639 about your age. 371 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:18,760 Reese is in pieces. 372 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,260 Liza, how old are you? 373 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,720 I'm... 374 00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:30,630 Age-queer. 375 00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:32,600 - What? - I'm age-queer. 376 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,719 That fact-checker was trying to 377 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,879 age-shame us for being young, 378 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,960 so I told them I'm old in protest. 379 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,160 And it's, like, who cares? 380 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,920 I don't identify as any age. 381 00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:42,980 Neither do I. 382 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,719 They were so focused on how successful 383 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:45,979 we were for our age, 384 00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,880 and it shouldn't matter how old we are. 385 00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,010 Exactly. 386 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,160 Screw them. 387 00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:51,250 Who's them? 388 00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:52,360 The patriarchy. 389 00:17:52,790 --> 00:17:54,050 So I told them I'm 41. 390 00:17:54,150 --> 00:17:56,050 And let them think that for all I care. 391 00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:57,320 We're post-age. 392 00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:00,980 But how old... I'm confused. 393 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,660 It's confusing, but it's not wrong. 394 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,860 - Mm-mm. - Every time you get a bunch of 395 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,780 strong, powerful women together, 396 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,020 it's their looks, their age. 397 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,236 They're too young. They're too sexy. 398 00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:13,910 What are they gonna do, throw us in "The Handmaid's Tale"? 399 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,360 Under his eye, girl. 400 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,180 Kiara, it's that fact-checker again. 401 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,640 I'll handle them. 402 00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:29,880 - Age-queer? - I... 403 00:18:29,980 --> 00:18:32,880 - That was insane. - Yeah, and probably offensive. 404 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:35,280 Liza, we have to stop this story. 405 00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:36,369 I know. 406 00:18:36,370 --> 00:18:37,890 I'm gonna go find Don right now. 407 00:18:37,990 --> 00:18:39,410 Before he stopped texting, he mentioned 408 00:18:39,430 --> 00:18:40,810 a luncheon for Broadway Cares. 409 00:18:40,910 --> 00:18:42,220 That's a nice charity. 410 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:45,180 The only thing Don cares about is the free food. 411 00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:07,740 Don. 412 00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:09,340 Liza. 413 00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:11,040 I was the story you were working on. 414 00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:13,200 How could you do that to me? 415 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,170 I thought that I met a man that I liked, 416 00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:17,130 that I trusted. 417 00:19:17,230 --> 00:19:18,930 I'm sorry. 418 00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:21,580 I'm a freelancer. I need to dig up stories. 419 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,330 And you're a really great one. 420 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,800 You said it yourself. 421 00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:26,080 You do what you have to do. 422 00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:28,860 Not at the expense of destroying someone else. 423 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,340 This story might end up being 424 00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:31,660 the best thing that ever happened to you. 425 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,296 I could make you the poster child for ageism. 426 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,259 And also kill my career 427 00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:37,480 and damage "Millennial." 428 00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:41,140 Well, none of that's gonna happen. 429 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,500 They just pulled it. 430 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,590 There's some social media thing that's exploding 431 00:19:44,610 --> 00:19:46,519 about being age-queer, 432 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,060 whatever that means. 433 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:51,040 Suddenly everyone's sensitive to age-shaming. 434 00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:52,920 Oh, wow. 435 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,560 Good. 436 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,290 They should be sensitive to it. 437 00:19:56,390 --> 00:19:58,420 Yeah, and once again, I'm out. 438 00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,879 You know, it seems like the only people who get 439 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,679 discriminated against anymore are middle-aged 440 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,020 straight white men. 441 00:20:03,140 --> 00:20:04,859 #me, okay? 442 00:20:04,860 --> 00:20:05,980 #me. 443 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,680 You know, I think I might know why you can't find work. 444 00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:10,860 And why is that? 445 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,220 Because you're an asshole, Don. 446 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:25,720 You're an adult. 447 00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:27,280 Your life is your life. 448 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,280 But why are you smashing your face into bread? 449 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,040 Oh, my God. How did you see that? 450 00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:32,620 I feel like I don't know you anymore. 451 00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:34,019 Mom, it's not who I am. 452 00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:35,399 It's just a thing I do for some extra money. 453 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,880 Okay, let me tell you something. 454 00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:39,660 You become what you do. 455 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,900 If you cheat, you become a cheater. 456 00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:45,530 If you lie, you... you become a liar. 457 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,730 It's so easy for you. You're so perfect. 458 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,560 Caitlin, I have done plenty of things in my life 459 00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:51,860 that I am not proud of. 460 00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:53,260 Like what? 461 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,360 Someday I will tell you all about them. 462 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:01,220 But for now, will you just stop breadfacing? 463 00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:02,890 Jeez, Mom, is it really that embarrassing? 464 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,280 What? 465 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,580 - Ohh. - Mom. 466 00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,439 - Oh, this is surprising. - Mom, stop. 467 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,580 - People are watching. - Ooh, it's so soft. 468 00:21:16,660 --> 00:21:19,770 Ohh, yeah. Mmm. 469 00:21:19,870 --> 00:21:22,020 Okay, okay, I'll stop. 470 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,880 God, you could really ruin anything. 471 00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:27,420 I love you too. 472 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,100 Are you still gonna eat it? 473 00:21:30,140 --> 00:21:32,000 Of course I'm gonna eat that bread. 474 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,980 I liked it on my chin. 475 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,960 - Yep. - It was really crispy. 476 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:53,979 Hey. 477 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,119 What are you doing here? 478 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,720 Josh, I can't let you do this. 479 00:21:57,140 --> 00:21:59,250 Who knows what the future holds, 480 00:21:59,260 --> 00:22:02,160 but I know how much you love that place. 481 00:22:02,510 --> 00:22:03,860 This was your dream. 482 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,370 You built it from nothing. 483 00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:07,040 It's who you are. 484 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:08,660 Take that lease. 485 00:22:09,380 --> 00:22:11,050 I'm not going away. 486 00:22:11,060 --> 00:22:13,340 Kelsey and Maggie aren't going away. 487 00:22:13,460 --> 00:22:15,020 Your roots are here. 488 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,300 I will be at your side. 489 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,240 You don't have to commit to us, but we commit to you. 490 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:21,640 I commit to you. 491 00:22:22,940 --> 00:22:25,390 I might not always be the same person in your life, 492 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,500 but I will always be in your life. 493 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,400 What are you talking about? 494 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,060 The sign. They're taking it down. 495 00:22:38,340 --> 00:22:40,380 I'm just getting a bigger one. 496 00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:41,900 What? 497 00:22:43,420 --> 00:22:45,430 Josh. 498 00:22:46,430 --> 00:22:48,290 I'm not ready to give up yet. 499 00:22:56,940 --> 00:22:59,790 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 33482

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