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1
00:00:01,449 --> 00:00:02,912
Come on, man. Let me touch the ball.
2
00:00:02,913 --> 00:00:04,604
Uh, only I touch this ball, Cy.
3
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:05,705
Ooh, a ball!
4
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,489
Do-Right, play with
your own ball, all right?
5
00:00:07,490 --> 00:00:08,341
This one's magic.
6
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,776
And this ball's the only reason
7
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,744
why the Bulls got six
championship rings.
8
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:12,512
Six!
9
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,880
What about Michael Jordan?
10
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,181
Whatever. Listen.
11
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,717
During the Bulls' dynasty,
when they were down by four,
12
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:20,353
I would just touch this
ball and say, "Bulls!"
13
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,721
and they'd have a surge.
14
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,123
You know, the Bulls play them
punk-ass Cavs this Friday,
15
00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:25,258
and we need this win.
16
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:27,173
Are we still good
for watching it at my house?
17
00:00:27,174 --> 00:00:28,637
Yeah, that's a tradition. I'm there.
18
00:00:28,638 --> 00:00:31,831
Oh, FYI, my mom's
ferrets got out... again.
19
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:34,334
So, um, you got to tuck
your pants into your socks.
20
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,736
Straight vodka at noon? I like it.
21
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,438
Uh, let me get one, too... with a straw.
22
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:39,772
This is water.
23
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,507
I got to pick the kids up after school.
24
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,076
Look what them kids done did to you.
25
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,877
- What?
- You can't even lunch-drink anymore.
26
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,479
I stopped breakfast-drinking, too.
27
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,681
I take this job seriously, man.
28
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,852
No more Kahlúa and
Kellogg's? Come on, Buck.
29
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:54,996
Every time you start a job
and it gets a little tough,
30
00:00:54,997 --> 00:00:55,788
you cut and run.
31
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:56,856
You famous for that, Buck.
32
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,558
That was an outrageous statement.
33
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,460
When have I ever done that?
34
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:04,163
Does this bus stop at Grant Park?
35
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:05,431
I quit!
36
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,601
That's it! I'm sick of it!
37
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,336
You only drove the bus for two days.
38
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,904
Aw, look, this job is different.
39
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,440
I love taking care of them
kids, and I do it damn well,
40
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:16,909
so y'all can just stay out
of my business, all right?
41
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,110
I got this.
42
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:21,614
Oh, God!
43
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,216
Is this what water tastes like?
44
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:30,428
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
45
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,793
Doo, Doo-doo-doo.
46
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:36,562
Dang, you looking out the
window and not on your phone.
47
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,264
It must be bad.
48
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,133
But Uncle Buck is here to fix it.
49
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:42,335
I wanted to go to
this avant-garde opera
50
00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:45,037
with my friends downtown
at an abandoned warehouse.
51
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:46,739
Well, you know, the only word I heard
52
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,207
in that sentence was "friends."
53
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:50,843
Doesn't matter, because Mom
and Dad said it wasn't safe.
54
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,212
You know, if I tell my
friends my parents said no,
55
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,514
they'll think I'm lame.
56
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,082
Easy. Just front.
57
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,083
Front?
58
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:58,217
Yeah, front.
59
00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,453
Photoshop yourself
doing something better.
60
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,688
And with them little
weird friends you got,
61
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:03,923
that shouldn't be hard.
62
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,858
Yeah!
63
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,361
I can say I went to
a Lulu James concert.
64
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,096
And then you can hashtag everything.
65
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:11,664
#BigTime.
66
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,399
#Blessed.
67
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,101
#DontHate.
68
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,669
#WerePoppin.
69
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,671
#Fabuloso.
70
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,773
#NotLame.
71
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,875
Hashtag!
72
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,710
Hey, hey, hey.
73
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:27,280
Look, I don't want to be
all up in your business,
74
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,981
but I do laundry once a week,
75
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,551
and there was only one
pair of drawers in there.
76
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,219
You got to do better than that.
77
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,254
Uncle Buck, do you know
anything about girls?
78
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,056
I know they like clean drawers.
79
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,758
There's this girl that I really like,
80
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,126
but she won't even look my way.
81
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,527
Aw.
82
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:43,429
You came to the right place.
83
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,799
Man, you know how many ladies that I...
84
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,702
No, point is, I'm great with women.
85
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,237
Let me be your wingman on this.
86
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:53,272
Oh, teach me, sensei.
87
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:56,742
Well, what you got to do is
you got to make her need you.
88
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:59,111
Is there a class that
she's not really great at?
89
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,380
She asked me for help
on a math problem once,
90
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:02,682
but I suck at math.
91
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:03,583
Wrong.
92
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,451
You a math genius.
93
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:09,322
Look here. Just tell her
that 53 times 72 is 525.
94
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,356
Is it?
95
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,325
I don't know. And neither will she.
96
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,659
Gotcha.
97
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,727
Thanks, Uncle Buck.
98
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:15,828
Aw, my man.
99
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,597
Anytime, Einstein.
100
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,066
You home early.
101
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,601
How was your anniversary dinner?
102
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,769
- Oh, my God.
- What?
103
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,538
I completely forgot.
104
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,640
Aw, aw!
105
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:30,142
Baby, I'm so sorry.
106
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,878
Well, you should be.
107
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:32,845
What are you sorry for?
108
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,247
Our anniversary dinner.
109
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,215
Oh, my gosh. I completely forgot.
110
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,119
Forgetting about
your significant other...
111
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,652
that's classic Buck.
112
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:40,720
Good night.
113
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,155
Honey, I knew both of
us working would be hard,
114
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,024
but this is crazy.
115
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,126
You've become, like, some sexy stranger,
116
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:50,029
which is kind of hot, except
I'm too exhausted to act on it.
117
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,731
Remember how awesome we were in Atlanta,
118
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,965
going out all the time?
119
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,500
We were hot on those streets.
120
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:56,502
Like Michelle and Barack.
121
00:03:56,503 --> 00:04:00,306
With a little bit of danger,
like Beyoncé and Jay Z.
122
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,175
We were like a luxury car commercial.
123
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,386
Sexy and sophisticated.
124
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,458
Oh, yeah.
125
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:22,128
You think we'll ever get
that new-car smell back?
126
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,000
Y'all need to get y'all act together.
127
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,735
'Cause if y'all split up,
128
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,405
who gonna get custody
of me and the kids?
129
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:33,539
Don't make us choose.
130
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:35,141
That's all I'm saying.
131
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:40,546
Hey, baby.
132
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:43,282
Ah, middle-of-the-day call. I like it.
133
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,951
You're gonna like this even more.
134
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,119
We're pulling an emergency
anniversary reboot.
135
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,188
I cleared my schedule
and made a reservation
136
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,823
at that dinner-and-dancing place.
137
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:51,924
This is non-negotiable.
138
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,459
I'll get Buck to babysit.
139
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,194
Well, look at you, all in charge.
140
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,362
I like that, too.
141
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,730
Oh, really?
142
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:58,998
What you wearing, girl?
143
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,967
A sweatshirt with a ketchup stain.
144
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,168
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
145
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,232
I probably should've said
you were on speaker phone.
146
00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:06,339
That's Kiana,
one of the girls I'm mentoring.
147
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,641
Anyway, I'll see you
soon. I'm very excited.
148
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,309
Baby, you got me all worked...
149
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,544
Bye.
150
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:12,678
Hello?
151
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:14,880
You know, your husband
sounds old but hot.
152
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,916
Uh. He'll appreciate half of that.
153
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,670
Need a plan to get them out of there...
154
00:05:18,671 --> 00:05:20,272
Can you help me with my spelling words?
155
00:05:20,273 --> 00:05:22,421
I want to be smart, not just cute.
156
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,523
Oh, sure, baby girl.
157
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:25,591
All right.
158
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,160
The first word is "college."
159
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,895
I think the word's "collage."
160
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,865
All right, you can say it as
fancy as you want to say it,
161
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:36,002
but you're not getting into
collage unless you can spell it.
162
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,026
Now, I done told you about...
163
00:05:38,027 --> 00:05:39,672
Hold up.
164
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:40,640
What's up, Will?
165
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:43,175
Oh, no, no, no. It's cool. Yeah.
166
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,177
I know you're trying to
get right with your lady.
167
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,914
Look, me and Cy,
we can watch the game over here.
168
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,816
All right, cool. My man.
169
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,719
Hey, wh... Where'd she go?
170
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,189
Cy!
171
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,457
You brought a cheese plate.
172
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,960
This ain't no art gallery.
This is a basketball game.
173
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,161
Look, man, I'm still not sure
174
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,562
about watching the game over here.
175
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,065
I think all these kids'
energies is gonna jinx us,
176
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,533
and the Bulls need our focus.
177
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:11,270
Look, Maizy's asleep, Miles
is studying with a friend,
178
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,072
and Tia don't like sports or fun.
179
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,974
She's in the bedroom. It's all good.
180
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,642
- All right.
- Man, I got it.
181
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,611
Look, I just thought we could start...
182
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,814
Hey, old man.
183
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,049
Hey, little gutter punk.
184
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,450
Are you lost?
185
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,286
I just seen the rest of your
crew up under the overpass.
186
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,070
I don't appreciate you
putting your little...
187
00:06:29,071 --> 00:06:29,922
Hey, Jo.
188
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,691
This is my Uncle Buck.
189
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:35,194
Nice to meet you... Uncle Buck.
190
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,500
Did she just say my name weird?
191
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:44,336
That's the girl
- I was telling you about.
192
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:45,905
I think she's the one.
193
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,108
Yeah, the one that's gonna murder us.
194
00:06:53,504 --> 00:06:55,005
Should I clear this setting?
195
00:06:55,006 --> 00:06:57,240
No, we're celebrating
our anniversary tonight.
196
00:06:57,241 --> 00:06:58,508
She'll be here any minute.
197
00:06:58,509 --> 00:07:00,210
Uh, is that her?
198
00:07:05,616 --> 00:07:07,050
Nope.
199
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:08,218
Absolutely not.
200
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,386
Hi!
201
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:10,820
I'm so sorry I'm late. Mwah!
202
00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:11,934
Baby, what are you wearing?
203
00:07:11,935 --> 00:07:13,102
You're gonna give people seizures.
204
00:07:13,103 --> 00:07:14,791
I know I look like a sundae Maizy built.
205
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,226
Yeah, with mostly sprinkles.
206
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:18,495
I was running late, and I
stopped at the dry cleaner,
207
00:07:18,496 --> 00:07:19,763
and this was all that I had.
208
00:07:19,764 --> 00:07:21,197
I thought the patterns matched.
209
00:07:21,198 --> 00:07:21,998
You did?
210
00:07:21,999 --> 00:07:22,899
Yeah. No?
211
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:23,700
Hmm.
212
00:07:23,701 --> 00:07:25,268
Okay, hold on one second.
213
00:07:25,269 --> 00:07:27,537
Uh, I'll be right back.
214
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:32,776
What do you think?
215
00:07:32,777 --> 00:07:33,877
I love it.
216
00:07:33,878 --> 00:07:35,779
You'd better,
because it just cost us $300.
217
00:07:35,780 --> 00:07:37,047
It...
218
00:07:37,048 --> 00:07:38,081
What?!
219
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,582
- Mm-hmm.
- Money well spent.
220
00:07:39,583 --> 00:07:40,950
Sit on down.
221
00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:44,054
Come on! Defense!
222
00:07:44,055 --> 00:07:44,954
Ah!
223
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,658
Uh-oh. It looks like
you got your hands full.
224
00:07:48,659 --> 00:07:50,026
I think I better get out of here
225
00:07:50,027 --> 00:07:51,890
and go watch the game
at home with the ferrets.
226
00:07:51,891 --> 00:07:53,863
No, come on. Nah, it's tradition.
227
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:55,465
If you leave, the Bulls lose.
228
00:07:55,466 --> 00:07:56,866
Well, your nephew
'bout to lose something
229
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,768
if you leave him alone with
"Orange is the New Black."
230
00:07:58,769 --> 00:07:59,969
What are you talking about?
231
00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:02,033
I'm talking about that baby
going in that room a boy
232
00:08:02,034 --> 00:08:03,268
and coming out a father.
233
00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:05,408
Oh, God.
234
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:10,513
In the dining room? Really?
Uncle Buck, you're killing me.
235
00:08:10,514 --> 00:08:13,450
Hey, I-I'm just close by in
case you need some advice.
236
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,719
Um, is that a Bible?
237
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,088
It sure is. And I'm
glad you recognized it.
238
00:08:18,089 --> 00:08:20,256
This is just a reminder to let you know
239
00:08:20,257 --> 00:08:21,991
that we're all being watched.
240
00:08:21,992 --> 00:08:24,060
Whatever... Uncle Buck.
241
00:08:24,061 --> 00:08:25,895
Stop saying my name
like it's a horror movie.
242
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,530
You starting to scare me, little girl.
243
00:08:27,531 --> 00:08:28,531
Here.
244
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,174
Alexis, your shrimp is in my nose.
245
00:08:38,175 --> 00:08:39,008
Oh, baby, I'm...
246
00:08:39,009 --> 00:08:40,076
Get off your phone.
247
00:08:40,077 --> 00:08:41,377
I'm so sorry.
248
00:08:41,378 --> 00:08:43,713
Kiana keeps texting me. She's
having a really hard time.
249
00:08:43,714 --> 00:08:46,282
She just sent me
three crying emojis and a poop.
250
00:08:46,283 --> 00:08:47,917
Well, we're having a hard time, too.
251
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,519
Well, what is that supposed to mean?
252
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:50,687
It means we're really busy,
253
00:08:50,688 --> 00:08:52,711
and we need to take advantage
of our time together.
254
00:08:52,712 --> 00:08:54,724
I don't want to end
up like the Rineholds.
255
00:08:54,725 --> 00:08:56,826
How are we gonna end
up like the Rineholds?
256
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,195
They got a divorce
after she stabbed him in the leg
257
00:08:59,196 --> 00:09:00,630
at a Souplantation.
258
00:09:00,631 --> 00:09:02,031
I'm just saying, that could be us
259
00:09:02,032 --> 00:09:03,800
if we don't set our priorities.
260
00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:06,569
Okay. You're right.
261
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,140
Now, let's get back
to some sexy seafood.
262
00:09:10,141 --> 00:09:11,141
Mm.
263
00:09:13,544 --> 00:09:15,345
Not that one. That was up my nose.
264
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,446
Oh, right. I'm so sorry.
265
00:09:16,447 --> 00:09:17,380
Ah!
266
00:09:17,381 --> 00:09:18,748
Okay, we're down by four.
267
00:09:18,749 --> 00:09:20,350
Buck, touch the ball.
268
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,117
Bulls!
269
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,586
Did you hear that?
270
00:09:23,587 --> 00:09:25,155
Yeah, I heard some girl
screaming or something.
271
00:09:25,156 --> 00:09:26,489
Come on, "D" Rose. Get down!
272
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:27,657
I should check that, right?
273
00:09:27,658 --> 00:09:28,525
Oh, that's a travel!
274
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,592
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
275
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,328
You.
276
00:09:32,329 --> 00:09:33,363
Are you cool?
277
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,431
No. Amber's pictures
are all over Instagram.
278
00:09:35,432 --> 00:09:37,233
My friends went to go see Philip Glass
279
00:09:37,234 --> 00:09:39,536
do a live score of
"Metropolis" without me.
280
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,638
Y'all ever think about just
getting a cookie at the mall?
281
00:09:41,639 --> 00:09:43,239
They're mad because they thought I was
282
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,141
throwing that Lulu
James post in their face.
283
00:09:45,142 --> 00:09:48,044
Well, you know my policy...
always tell the truth.
284
00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:49,779
You told me to front.
285
00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:51,981
Yeah, and I was frontin'.
286
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,416
Ugh!
287
00:09:55,085 --> 00:09:56,886
She done woke the little one.
288
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:58,788
Buck! Come touch the ball!
289
00:09:58,789 --> 00:10:01,357
- We're down by 11!
- You got to touch it three times!
290
00:10:01,358 --> 00:10:02,759
Ugh!
291
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:05,762
Aww.
292
00:10:08,699 --> 00:10:11,835
Die, zombie! Die, zombie! Die!
293
00:10:11,836 --> 00:10:13,419
What are you hitting me for?
294
00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:14,604
You're not the police.
295
00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:16,406
I thought you were a zombie.
296
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,408
What made you think that?
297
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:19,375
What's up, Will?
298
00:10:19,376 --> 00:10:21,144
Oh, no, no, no. It's cool. Yeah.
299
00:10:21,145 --> 00:10:23,713
I know you're trying to
get right with your lady.
300
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,457
Look, me and Cy, we can
watch the game over here.
301
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,451
All right, cool. My man.
302
00:10:29,353 --> 00:10:31,154
Hey, wh... Where'd she go?
303
00:10:32,189 --> 00:10:34,791
Look, Maizy, zombies ain't real.
304
00:10:34,792 --> 00:10:36,793
When you die, you just die.
305
00:10:36,794 --> 00:10:38,561
Am I going to die?
306
00:10:38,562 --> 00:10:40,864
Buck, come on! Touch the ball! Please!
307
00:10:40,865 --> 00:10:41,965
Hold that thought, Maizy.
308
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:44,300
Bulls, Bulls, Bulls!
309
00:10:46,837 --> 00:10:48,471
Whew!
310
00:10:48,472 --> 00:10:50,874
Look, Maizy, here's the deal on death.
311
00:10:50,875 --> 00:10:52,475
You don't have to worry about it,
312
00:10:52,476 --> 00:10:55,278
'cause it's like falling asleep forever.
313
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,080
Sweet dreams.
314
00:10:58,148 --> 00:11:00,450
I'm never going to sleep again.
315
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,218
You son of a...
316
00:11:02,219 --> 00:11:03,019
You piece of...
317
00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:04,220
Ah, hey!
318
00:11:04,221 --> 00:11:06,244
There's a lot of words I
could say right now, Buck.
319
00:11:06,245 --> 00:11:07,223
Go ahead and say them.
320
00:11:07,224 --> 00:11:11,294
I'll spell them. We can do flash cards.
321
00:11:14,265 --> 00:11:16,399
You know, this is a great soundtrack
322
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,800
for a sad dog commercial,
323
00:11:17,801 --> 00:11:19,936
but it's a terrible one
for basketball, Buck.
324
00:11:19,937 --> 00:11:21,170
Man, just ignore it.
325
00:11:21,171 --> 00:11:23,354
You're losing control, Buck.
The wheels are coming off.
326
00:11:23,355 --> 00:11:25,942
No, man, the wheels
are on, the rims are on,
327
00:11:25,943 --> 00:11:29,012
I got a full tank of
gas, and I got this.
328
00:11:29,013 --> 00:11:30,179
I'll be right back.
329
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:31,923
Okay, I'll touch the
ball while you're gone.
330
00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:32,882
Ah, ah, ah!
331
00:11:32,883 --> 00:11:34,183
You lay a hand on that ball,
332
00:11:34,184 --> 00:11:36,586
and you gonna pull back a bloody stub.
333
00:11:36,587 --> 00:11:39,155
Don't touch that ball, brother.
334
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:42,191
Okay, this is more like it.
335
00:11:42,192 --> 00:11:44,294
There's so much more where
that came from, honey.
336
00:11:44,295 --> 00:11:45,795
- Mm.
- Oh, yeah.
337
00:11:45,796 --> 00:11:47,036
I'll be right back.
338
00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:47,931
Okay.
339
00:11:47,932 --> 00:11:50,400
Excuse me. Bring me
your fanciest dessert.
340
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,641
Sir, this deconstructed baked Alaska
341
00:11:58,642 --> 00:12:00,209
takes three people to prepare,
342
00:12:00,210 --> 00:12:03,079
so if we're not doing this,
I'll need to release Javier.
343
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,814
Go home, Javier.
344
00:12:09,386 --> 00:12:11,955
- Babe.
- Alexis, what are you doing?
345
00:12:11,956 --> 00:12:13,022
Who is this?
346
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,258
- Um...
- It's me... Kiana.
347
00:12:15,259 --> 00:12:16,759
You remember, I met you earlier
348
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,162
when you were phone-sexing your wife.
349
00:12:19,163 --> 00:12:20,730
Alexis, can I talk to you?
350
00:12:20,731 --> 00:12:21,564
Okay.
351
00:12:21,565 --> 00:12:23,299
Wait. Uh...
352
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:25,368
Honey, I'm really, really
sorry, but you don't understand.
353
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:27,003
She was threatening
to drop out of school
354
00:12:27,004 --> 00:12:28,404
and run away with her boyfriend.
355
00:12:28,405 --> 00:12:31,107
The girl is one gospel song
away from a Tyler Perry movie.
356
00:12:31,108 --> 00:12:33,251
And you thought bringing
her to our anniversary dinner
357
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:34,510
would help the problem?
358
00:12:34,511 --> 00:12:37,580
I know it's not ideal, but she
just needed a little face time.
359
00:12:37,581 --> 00:12:38,748
And don't worry.
360
00:12:38,749 --> 00:12:40,450
I've... I've got this all under control.
361
00:12:40,451 --> 00:12:42,051
I'm sending her home in an Uber.
362
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,520
Kiana! I can't live without you!
363
00:12:44,521 --> 00:12:47,724
Damn, Ty! Why you got to be so needy?!
364
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:50,693
Okay, uh, maybe she needs
just a little more face time.
365
00:12:50,694 --> 00:12:52,996
Be right back.
366
00:12:52,997 --> 00:12:55,164
The hell with it. Light it up.
367
00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,100
Catch Javier.
368
00:12:57,101 --> 00:12:59,402
Now!
369
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:03,306
You're really bumming out
Cy! Can you turn it down?!
370
00:13:03,307 --> 00:13:05,141
Let me feel my feelings!
371
00:13:17,321 --> 00:13:18,588
Handled.
372
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,790
Buck! Ball!
373
00:13:20,791 --> 00:13:23,359
You're gonna look so
hot with an earring.
374
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,362
Hey. Wow. A home piercing.
375
00:13:26,363 --> 00:13:28,231
Good idea. I love it.
376
00:13:28,232 --> 00:13:30,133
Yeah, she said
it's gonna make me look cool,
377
00:13:30,134 --> 00:13:31,734
like a young Pharrell.
378
00:13:31,735 --> 00:13:32,702
Awesome.
379
00:13:32,703 --> 00:13:34,203
Did you sterilize the needle?
380
00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:37,040
You don't need to do that.
I've done a bunch of them.
381
00:13:37,041 --> 00:13:38,574
Awesome.
382
00:13:38,575 --> 00:13:40,877
Well, you know,
Fat Marcus did a home piercing,
383
00:13:40,878 --> 00:13:41,878
and it got infected.
384
00:13:41,879 --> 00:13:43,246
Ooh.
385
00:13:43,247 --> 00:13:44,847
Ear looked like a monkey paw.
386
00:13:44,848 --> 00:13:46,649
But do whatever you want to do.
387
00:13:49,386 --> 00:13:51,487
I should think about this.
388
00:13:51,488 --> 00:13:53,623
Boring. I'm out.
389
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,991
Hold on.
390
00:13:54,992 --> 00:13:56,612
I know how to keep this party going.
391
00:13:58,595 --> 00:14:00,430
Ooh, God!
392
00:14:00,431 --> 00:14:02,932
Get to watch the game.
393
00:14:02,933 --> 00:14:04,934
Where'd you get coffee at, Maizy?
394
00:14:04,935 --> 00:14:05,802
I gave it to her.
395
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,070
It's a latte.
396
00:14:07,071 --> 00:14:08,604
The girl wanted to stay awake.
397
00:14:08,605 --> 00:14:10,740
Look, we got 20 seconds
left. We're down by 4.
398
00:14:10,741 --> 00:14:11,844
You need to touch the ball.
399
00:14:11,845 --> 00:14:13,910
- Mup-mup-mup-mup.
- Did you do this?
400
00:14:15,746 --> 00:14:18,081
That is hilarious.
401
00:14:18,082 --> 00:14:19,248
But cruel.
402
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:20,683
I was trying to fix things.
403
00:14:20,684 --> 00:14:22,185
The ball, Buck! Touch the ball!
404
00:14:22,186 --> 00:14:24,487
You ruined my life.
405
00:14:26,123 --> 00:14:27,857
Where's Miles and Oozy Ears?
406
00:14:27,858 --> 00:14:30,493
Why? You want to humiliate him
in front of his friends, too?
407
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:33,362
We got nine seconds left,
Buck! Touch the ball!
408
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,600
Oh, hell no!
409
00:14:37,601 --> 00:14:39,068
- What the...
- Ahh!
410
00:14:40,304 --> 00:14:41,404
What are you doing?
411
00:14:41,405 --> 00:14:43,339
Sorry, buddy. This girl's trouble.
412
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:44,607
She's got to go.
413
00:14:44,608 --> 00:14:45,908
You're embarrassing me.
414
00:14:45,909 --> 00:14:48,544
If you care anything
about the Bulls at all,
415
00:14:48,545 --> 00:14:49,946
come touch the damn ball!
416
00:14:49,947 --> 00:14:51,914
I'm never coming over here again.
417
00:14:51,915 --> 00:14:53,583
Good, Jo.
418
00:14:53,584 --> 00:14:56,819
I hate you, Uncle Buck.
419
00:14:58,122 --> 00:14:59,889
Zombies!
420
00:15:01,058 --> 00:15:02,658
Your house is lame. Your uncle's lame.
421
00:15:02,659 --> 00:15:05,528
Uh, he's off his medication.
Jo, give me another chance.
422
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,231
Zombies everywhere!
They're gonna get us!
423
00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:11,801
Maizy. Maizy. Maizy, please stop.
424
00:15:11,802 --> 00:15:13,236
Maizy! Stop it!
425
00:15:13,237 --> 00:15:14,837
Oh, God. Stop. Please.
426
00:15:15,772 --> 00:15:17,006
I hope you're happy, Buck!
427
00:15:17,007 --> 00:15:18,274
- Oh!
- We lost!
428
00:15:18,275 --> 00:15:19,909
Why didn't you just touch the ball?!
429
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:21,444
Oh, you want me to touch the ball?
430
00:15:21,445 --> 00:15:22,845
You want me to touch the ball?
431
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,481
Ahhhh!
432
00:15:25,482 --> 00:15:26,649
I touched it.
433
00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:28,651
- Calm down.
- What the hell's wrong with you?
434
00:15:28,652 --> 00:15:29,885
It's just a game.
435
00:15:34,595 --> 00:15:37,635
Hey, big Will.
436
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:38,636
What's going on?
437
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:41,355
Could be better. How about you?
438
00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:43,491
Yeah, it got a little
tricky here tonight.
439
00:15:43,492 --> 00:15:46,794
- Everything's fine.
- The kids are okay, but I quit.
440
00:15:46,795 --> 00:15:48,529
And I thought maybe it'd be great
441
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:50,798
if you'd just fire me so
I can draw unemployment.
442
00:15:50,799 --> 00:15:52,200
Slow down. What's going on?
443
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,102
I love the kids, man,
and I love the job,
444
00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:56,804
but it's way harder than
I thought it would be.
445
00:15:56,805 --> 00:15:59,574
It's some next-level
parenting stuff right here.
446
00:15:59,575 --> 00:16:01,509
I-It's out of my league.
447
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:02,653
Stop it. You're not bailing.
448
00:16:02,654 --> 00:16:04,312
You don't quit just because it's hard.
449
00:16:04,313 --> 00:16:07,415
Yeah, I do, 'cause I'm famous for that.
450
00:16:07,416 --> 00:16:09,016
Buck, remember when we were kids
451
00:16:09,017 --> 00:16:10,685
and you pushed me down the stairs?
452
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:12,720
Come on, man. Why you
want to bring that up?
453
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:13,955
You didn't panic that day.
454
00:16:13,956 --> 00:16:16,224
You duct-taped my head,
threw me in a bike basket,
455
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,559
and rolled me to the
hospital, E.T.-style.
456
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,394
Things got crazy, and you adjusted.
457
00:16:20,395 --> 00:16:21,796
That's what you need to do now...
458
00:16:21,797 --> 00:16:23,664
adjust to your new reality.
459
00:16:23,665 --> 00:16:25,066
Yeah.
460
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,134
Thank you, brother.
461
00:16:26,135 --> 00:16:28,302
Hey, what made you think of that story?
462
00:16:28,303 --> 00:16:30,938
I feel like I got
kicked down the stairs tonight.
463
00:16:30,939 --> 00:16:33,207
I tried to get
our old, sexy selves back,
464
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,009
but we can't seem to get there.
465
00:16:35,010 --> 00:16:35,843
Yeah.
466
00:16:35,844 --> 00:16:36,978
Sounds like you two need
467
00:16:36,979 --> 00:16:39,013
to do a little adjusting
on your own, man.
468
00:16:39,014 --> 00:16:40,615
Yeah. Maybe we do.
469
00:16:40,616 --> 00:16:41,382
Yeah.
470
00:16:41,383 --> 00:16:42,383
And, oh, by the way...
471
00:16:42,384 --> 00:16:45,920
you have never been sexy to me.
472
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,889
- Okay?
- You got a big-ass head, Will.
473
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:50,024
Chump.
474
00:16:50,025 --> 00:16:52,393
If you're really in love,
it's still gonna be there
475
00:16:52,394 --> 00:16:55,963
in two years, when you
graduate from high school.
476
00:16:55,964 --> 00:16:57,147
I want to tell you something.
477
00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:58,733
Uh, baby, just give me two minutes.
478
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,535
Two minutes. I'm almost done with them.
479
00:17:00,536 --> 00:17:01,669
Babe.
480
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:02,703
Sorry.
481
00:17:05,601 --> 00:17:06,784
I know what you're gonna say.
482
00:17:06,785 --> 00:17:07,775
No, you don't.
483
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,649
What I want to say is,
I know we've been trying
484
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,251
to recapture how we were in Atlanta,
485
00:17:11,252 --> 00:17:15,650
but this is our new reality,
and I'm okay with it.
486
00:17:17,486 --> 00:17:18,619
So, how can I help?
487
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,955
Well, a male's
perspective would be nice.
488
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:21,956
Mm.
489
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,380
And that boy needs some instruction
490
00:17:23,381 --> 00:17:24,419
on how to wear cologne.
491
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:25,493
Whew!
492
00:17:25,494 --> 00:17:26,854
- You got it.
- You don't smell it?
493
00:17:26,878 --> 00:17:28,378
I do now.
494
00:17:30,899 --> 00:17:32,600
- Mm.
- Be good.
495
00:17:32,601 --> 00:17:33,901
All right.
496
00:17:35,571 --> 00:17:37,071
Well, this will certainly be
497
00:17:37,072 --> 00:17:39,006
an anniversary we'll never forget.
498
00:17:39,007 --> 00:17:41,409
Mm.
499
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:44,345
Sexier and more sophisticated than ever.
500
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:49,483
Oh, yeah.
501
00:17:50,085 --> 00:17:51,786
What's Amber doing here?
502
00:17:51,787 --> 00:17:53,988
What's going on? He told
me Lulu James was here.
503
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,223
I lied. Work it out.
504
00:17:58,260 --> 00:17:59,660
Here's the deal on death.
505
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:02,129
When you die, you go to a happy place.
506
00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:03,264
I can prove it.
507
00:18:03,265 --> 00:18:06,067
They made a documentary
about Heaven. Look.
508
00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:14,141
So, there's a fox in
Heaven with an Afro?
509
00:18:14,142 --> 00:18:15,509
Yep.
510
00:18:17,246 --> 00:18:18,279
My parents had a fit
511
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,881
when they found out I went to the opera.
512
00:18:19,882 --> 00:18:20,982
They're so lame.
513
00:18:20,983 --> 00:18:21,949
Mine, too.
514
00:18:23,285 --> 00:18:24,218
Hey!
515
00:18:24,219 --> 00:18:25,653
Where'd you come from?
516
00:18:25,654 --> 00:18:27,722
I need to put a little
bell on your neck.
517
00:18:27,723 --> 00:18:30,524
Hey, Mr. Fix It, when are
you gonna solve my problem?
518
00:18:30,525 --> 00:18:32,493
I did. I sent it home.
519
00:18:32,494 --> 00:18:33,427
What happened?
520
00:18:33,428 --> 00:18:34,762
Man, I thought you were cool.
521
00:18:34,763 --> 00:18:36,364
Look, man, I know you mad at me,
522
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:39,400
but it's my job to protect
you, not be your friend.
523
00:18:39,401 --> 00:18:40,635
Well, you succeeded.
524
00:18:40,636 --> 00:18:41,969
You're not my friend,
525
00:18:41,970 --> 00:18:43,771
and you're not my wingman, either.
526
00:18:43,772 --> 00:18:45,506
You're just a parent.
527
00:18:45,507 --> 00:18:47,341
You don't really mean
this, do you, Miles?
528
00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:49,610
It's "Mr. Russell" to you.
529
00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:56,884
Oh. Uh-oh.
530
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,352
Is everything okay, Buck?
531
00:18:58,353 --> 00:19:00,788
Yeah, I hope the kids don't
look like your basketball.
532
00:19:00,789 --> 00:19:03,758
I took your advice. I adjusted.
533
00:19:03,759 --> 00:19:05,726
Now your son hates me.
534
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,495
It hurts, y'all. It hurts.
535
00:19:12,634 --> 00:19:14,068
Really?
536
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:15,836
See what happens when I share?
537
00:19:15,837 --> 00:19:17,204
You guys are cold, man.
538
00:19:17,205 --> 00:19:18,406
No, no.
539
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,341
It's just that if they
don't hate you half the time,
540
00:19:20,342 --> 00:19:22,222
then it means that
you're doing something wrong.
541
00:19:22,246 --> 00:19:23,778
Don't beat yourself up. You did good.
542
00:19:23,779 --> 00:19:26,013
I honestly thought
I had this job figured out.
543
00:19:26,014 --> 00:19:29,317
I get them to school, I know
what they want in their lunches,
544
00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:31,686
and I know no matter how
many times I brush it,
545
00:19:31,687 --> 00:19:34,055
I still can't the Cheerios
out of Maizy's hair.
546
00:19:34,056 --> 00:19:35,656
Brother, that's just keeping them alive.
547
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:36,657
That's easy.
548
00:19:36,658 --> 00:19:39,293
Yeah, the hard part is
keeping them from being evil.
549
00:19:39,294 --> 00:19:40,761
Especially Miles.
550
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,697
The darkness is strong in that one.
551
00:19:42,698 --> 00:19:44,465
I know. He's gonna
be plotting on me now.
552
00:19:44,466 --> 00:19:46,167
Nah, he'll be fine in the morning.
553
00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:48,736
Yeah, I don't think so.
He had that dead-shark eye.
554
00:19:48,737 --> 00:19:50,186
No, no, kids have a way
555
00:19:50,187 --> 00:19:51,821
of resetting when they're disappointed.
556
00:19:51,822 --> 00:19:53,222
They're like little alcoholics.
557
00:19:53,223 --> 00:19:54,657
When they wake up in the morning,
558
00:19:54,658 --> 00:19:55,691
they remember nothing.
559
00:19:55,692 --> 00:19:57,660
Yeah, and sometimes they pee the bed.
560
00:19:57,661 --> 00:19:59,462
It'll all be good in the morning.
561
00:19:59,463 --> 00:20:00,696
For now, we're gonna leave you
562
00:20:00,697 --> 00:20:02,198
with your little murdered basketball,
563
00:20:02,199 --> 00:20:04,233
because we got a little
resetting of our own to do.
564
00:20:04,234 --> 00:20:06,377
- We do? Yay!
- Okay, all right, all right, all right.
565
00:20:06,378 --> 00:20:07,256
No more sharing. Go!
566
00:20:08,672 --> 00:20:11,674
And if y'all have any more kids, I quit.
567
00:20:13,903 --> 00:20:14,736
Morning, Miles.
568
00:20:14,737 --> 00:20:16,738
I mean, uh, Mr. Russell.
569
00:20:16,739 --> 00:20:18,373
What's up, Uncle Buck?
570
00:20:18,374 --> 00:20:20,542
That didn't sound so hateful.
571
00:20:20,543 --> 00:20:21,543
We cool?
572
00:20:21,544 --> 00:20:22,744
Yeah, we're cool.
573
00:20:22,745 --> 00:20:23,945
My man.
574
00:20:27,283 --> 00:20:29,517
You think he's just
pretending to be nice to me
575
00:20:29,518 --> 00:20:31,052
so he can kill me in my sleep?
576
00:20:31,053 --> 00:20:33,955
No, man. Like I said... complete reset.
577
00:20:33,956 --> 00:20:35,156
Cool.
578
00:20:35,157 --> 00:20:36,858
I'll take this stuff back, then.
579
00:20:36,859 --> 00:20:38,660
Wha...
580
00:20:38,661 --> 00:20:39,594
Oh, yeah.
581
00:20:39,595 --> 00:20:40,595
Check me out, baby.
582
00:20:41,697 --> 00:20:43,898
Uh... how'd you afford all this?
583
00:20:43,899 --> 00:20:45,233
Yeah.
584
00:20:45,234 --> 00:20:48,636
Hey, babe, do you know
anything about a fraud alert
585
00:20:48,637 --> 00:20:50,438
on our credit card?
586
00:20:54,810 --> 00:20:57,111
Open up, Buck.
587
00:20:57,112 --> 00:20:58,679
This is a felony.
40674
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