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Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
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00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:04,240
We conclusively proved
super-asymmetry,
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00:00:04,241 --> 00:00:07,260
and yet somehow
we-we still feel like imposters.
4
00:00:07,330 --> 00:00:09,090
Yeah, there should be
a term for that.
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00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,830
Oh, for crying out loud,
there is a term for that!
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00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,930
It's called "imposter syndrome,"
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00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,000
and you don't have it,
because you can't have it
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00:00:16,070 --> 00:00:18,089
if you are imposters,
and you are!
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00:00:18,090 --> 00:00:20,950
We're the ones who discovered
super-asymmetry,
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00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:23,320
so if anyone's gonna feel like
they have imposter syndrome,
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00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:27,130
it's us because we're
not imposters, they are!
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00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,130
You're imposters
and you're frauds!
13
00:00:33,140 --> 00:00:35,500
I think what President Siebert
is trying to say is that
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this is a setback and we should
adopt a different strategy.
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I-I'm sorry.
I-I just... I-I snapped.
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Oh, you're sorry.
It's all better, then.
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00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,450
Listen up, you have shot
to win a Nobel Prize,
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00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:47,850
and you're blowing it.
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I think what President Siebert
is trying to say
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00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,490
is that you have a shot
to win a Nobel Prize,
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00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,090
and you're blowing it.
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00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,530
Uh, that's exactly what he said.
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00:00:58,590 --> 00:01:01,830
Yes, but I said it
in my calming HR voice.
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00:01:04,270 --> 00:01:07,100
So, obviously,
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00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:09,370
I'm really sorry
about my outburst.
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00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,640
(STAMMERS) Calling you frauds
was unacceptable.
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I feel terrible about it.
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It has caused her
a lot of stress.
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She chewed through
her night guard
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like it was a piece of jerky.
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00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:21,450
What you said was
really hurtful,
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especially because I
thought we were friends.
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00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,590
Why would you think that?
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Ouch.
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00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:31,590
Ignore them;
they're just mean people.
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Uh, not mean, just sorry.
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Seem mean, are sorry.
Happens all the time.
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It's okay.
I talked to my therapist,
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00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,640
and she made me realize
that what you said
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was really more about
your own insecurities.
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I'm sorry, what?
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There you go, she's sorry.
We all heard it. Moving on.
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Yes, obviously,
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you're angry at all
the attention we're getting
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00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:56,680
for our discovery
and you're lashing out.
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Well, uh, technically,
she lashed out.
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I contained myself,
which I don't think
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I'm getting enough credit for.
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00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,490
The point is we should
take it as a compliment
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00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,060
that even you guys think
we will win the Nobel Prize.
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Uh, no, we-we certainly
do not think that.
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The Nobel Committee will realize
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00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:16,470
that we came up
with this theory.
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But we proved it.
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By accident.
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All breakthroughs
happen by accident.
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No, they don't!
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00:02:25,780 --> 00:02:27,380
Look, the Nobel Committee
doesn't like infighting,
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00:02:27,450 --> 00:02:29,550
so if the four of you don't stop
sniping at each other,
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00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:31,420
the award's gonna go
to someone else entirely.
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00:02:31,490 --> 00:02:33,720
He's right.
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You know, like it or not,
we can't avoid each other.
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Let's at least try to be civil.
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Agreed.
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You know, when you
think about it,
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we're linked together the
same way that super-asymmetry
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links together every atom
in the universe. Hmm.
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That's not what it does at all!
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00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:53,770
Well, that's the great thing
about science.
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00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,440
We all get to have
our own opinions.
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I'm still not talking.
That's impressive, right?
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
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00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,860
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
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♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
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♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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♪ Bang! ♪
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You... No, no, no, no.
Your money's no good here.
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00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:41,440
Well, I'm glad that
we hashed all that out,
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00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:44,380
and moving forward,
may the best team win.
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00:03:44,450 --> 00:03:45,910
I couldn't agree more.
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(QUIETLY): We're the best team.
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Greg Pemberton,
you old so-and-so.
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(CHUCKLES) Very good to see you.
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Uh, let me introduce you
to my colleague, Dr. Campbell.
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Uh, Kevin, this is Barry Kripke.
We went to college together.
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Great to meet you.
Well, you have my number.
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00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:02,630
We should hit up the
buffet at the strip club
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00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,170
while you're in town.
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00:04:04,230 --> 00:04:06,930
Nothing beats a lap dance
and a baked potato bar, huh?
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(CHUCKLES)
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00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:09,570
You can come, too.
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00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,640
That's a hard pass.
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I'll walk you out.
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PEMBERTON: Good to see you, Barry.
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You're the best!
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Oh...
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God, I hate that guy.
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That's strange; you
seem quite fond of him.
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00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:29,020
I was only being polite.
Pemberton is a grade A weasel.
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How do I know you're
not just being polite
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00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:32,560
when you say it's
nice to see me?
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00:04:32,630 --> 00:04:35,930
I have literally
never said that to you.
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00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,600
Why do you say he's a weasel?
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00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,800
(SIGHS) Pemberton's whole M.O.
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was to take other people's ideas
and turn them in as his own.
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00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:46,810
That's exactly what
he's doing to us.
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I'm not surprised. I heard the
only work he did on his thesis
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was googling,
"Where can I buy a thesis?"
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00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:57,080
Well, plagiarism is a pretty
serious charge. Are you sure?
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You want proof?
I can make some calls.
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You'd do that for us?
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I really don't want to see
that guy win a Nobel.
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00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:06,660
I also don't want
to see you win a Nobel.
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00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:08,500
Ooh, this is tricky.
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I don't know, Barry.
It sounds a little sleazy.
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Well, let me know
if you change your mind.
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00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:18,670
Sleazy is where I thrive.
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00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:24,010
So I was talking to my mom
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about our Pemberton
and Campbell situation.
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Really? What'd she say?
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Apparently, Old Testament God
would bring down his wrath
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00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:31,220
on them for being deceitful,
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but New Testament God
would forgive them.
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00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:38,130
So couldn't we just
bring down our wrath
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00:05:38,190 --> 00:05:40,530
and ask the New Testament God
to forgive us?
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00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,830
You know, I asked her
that very question. And?
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00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:45,470
She said I was full
of California sass.
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00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,200
Oh, good, you're all here.
Uh, we're wrestling
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00:05:49,270 --> 00:05:51,570
with an ethical question,
and perhaps you could help.
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00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,210
Sure, what's up?
Yeah. Fire away.
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00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,710
If we have damaging
and embarrassing information
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00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:59,450
about someone, should we keep it
to ourselves or expose them?
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00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:05,820
Quick question: Does it happen
to do with online tastes
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00:06:05,890 --> 00:06:08,260
that might or might not reflect
their real-life tastes?
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00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:11,960
I know all about your
tall girl website.
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00:06:12,030 --> 00:06:13,730
It goes on our credit card.
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00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:18,270
It's Dr. Pemberton.
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Kripke says
he plagiarized his thesis,
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and that he can prove it.
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00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:25,410
Wow. Well, that's not gonna sit
well with the Nobel Committee.
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00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:27,470
Hang on. I don't think
it's fair to use something
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someone did in school
against them.
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00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:33,150
Relax, he said it's not you.
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00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:35,120
I don't know.
If someone's a cheater,
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they should be held accountable
no matter how long ago it was.
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00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:41,920
(LAUGHS): Okay, now
you just sound crazy.
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00:06:41,990 --> 00:06:44,020
So you really think
they should do this?
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00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:46,260
(STAMMERS) It wouldn't
just knock Pemberton
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00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:49,260
out of Nobel contention, it
would blow up his whole career.
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00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:51,670
To that, I say kaboom!
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00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:55,940
No, I meant it's a bad thing.
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00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:57,370
No, no, I agree with Bernadette.
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00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,670
If Pemberton cheated,
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00:06:58,740 --> 00:07:00,740
maybe he shouldn't have a career
in the first place.
158
00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:02,640
There's plenty of people
that didn't plagiarize.
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00:07:02,710 --> 00:07:04,910
And a few of us who did,
but it's only 'cause
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00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:06,910
The Scarlet Letter
was so boring.
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00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:11,020
Aw, I love The Scarlet Letter.
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00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:13,790
Th-That's where I got
my taste for bad girls.
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Ugh, why is this
decision so hard?
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00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,760
Maybe because you want to win,
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00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:24,500
but deep down you know it's not
the honorable way to do it.
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00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,030
Otherwise, you would've
done it already.
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00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,740
That's really wise.
168
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,640
Yes, but it may just be
the Indian accent.
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00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:37,980
Do you think
by not exposing Pemberton
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00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:40,310
we're doing the right thing?
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Of course.
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Unless you think we're not
doing the right thing.
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00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:47,050
Why would you think
that I don't think
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we're doing the right thing?
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00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:52,060
You might think that if
good people hold themselves
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00:07:52,130 --> 00:07:54,060
to unrealistically high
ethical standards,
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00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:57,130
then they might lose out to
their unscrupulous competitors.
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00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,300
Is that what you think?
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00:07:58,370 --> 00:07:59,570
No.
180
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,400
No, I just thought
if you thought we weren't
181
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:04,340
doing the right thing,
that's why you might think that.
182
00:08:04,410 --> 00:08:06,610
Well, if I did think that,
183
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,940
you might point out
that people who claim
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00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,380
it's okay to do
bad things to win
185
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:14,010
are bad people no matter
what they tell themselves.
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00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,750
And I'd be right
187
00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:17,020
to point that out.
188
00:08:17,090 --> 00:08:18,750
Because you're a good person.
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00:08:20,590 --> 00:08:23,160
I love talking to you.
190
00:08:23,230 --> 00:08:25,690
It's like talking to me,
but with a girl voice.
191
00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:32,030
I'm just saying, Sheldon
and Amy deserve to win,
192
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:34,270
and sometimes that means
doing what you got to do.
193
00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:36,970
Don't you think it's better
to take the high road?
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00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,340
Yeah, and instead of guns,
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00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:42,580
armies should carry
candy canes that shoot wishes.
196
00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:44,210
So what's the worst thing
you've ever done
197
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:45,810
to get something you wanted?
198
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,410
I'm not gonna tell you that.
199
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,820
Oh, come on.
I'll tell you mine.
200
00:08:49,890 --> 00:08:52,590
(LAUGHS): Right,
'cause yours is gonna be
201
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:55,190
as bad as mine. Okay.
202
00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:57,690
(CHUCKLES)
Come on, just tell me.
203
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,630
Okay, fine.
204
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:02,060
When we first met,
there was another waitress
205
00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:04,100
at The Cheesecake Factory
who thought you were cute,
206
00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:08,940
so I told her you had all
the hepatitises, A through Z.
207
00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:11,570
There aren't 26 hepatitises.
208
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,440
Well, if she was smart
enough to know that,
209
00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:15,840
she wouldn't still be working
at a Cheesecake Factory.
210
00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:17,640
Oh, she still works there?
Who was it?
211
00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:19,180
Why does it matter?
212
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:23,180
You're right, it doesn't matter
'cause I got the best one.
213
00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:26,720
Was it Susan?
214
00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,160
Why? Because she's tall?
215
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:30,360
Good night.
216
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,890
Can't believe it.
217
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,400
Sheldon loves telling on people
when they break the rules.
218
00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:38,500
Yeah, well, maybe he's changed.
219
00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:40,570
He hasn't changed. Last week,
when the vending machine
220
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,740
gave me two bags of chips,
he called my mom.
221
00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:45,640
Well, that didn't
ruin your life.
222
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:46,910
Well, it ruined my day.
223
00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:49,710
I had to talk to my mom,
who, by the way,
224
00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:54,250
is-is polyamorous now,
so that's fun to think about.
225
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,380
Look, I'm proud
of Sheldon and Amy.
226
00:09:56,450 --> 00:09:58,650
You know? They want to win
this thing on their own merits,
227
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,750
not by knocking out
the competition.
228
00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:02,220
Yeah, but what if
they don't win?
229
00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:04,390
Uh, Pemberton and Campbell
have done an amazing job
230
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:06,560
of associating their names
with super-asymmetry.
231
00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:08,660
They have all
the momentum right now.
232
00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:10,330
I don't like the idea
of them losing either,
233
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,930
but this is their decision
to make, not ours.
234
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,370
(SIGHS)
235
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,970
Maybe it is ours.
236
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,470
What do you mean?
237
00:10:17,540 --> 00:10:20,640
Well, I-if Sheldon and Amy
don't want to expose Pemberton,
238
00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:23,180
that doesn't mean someone else
can't do it for them.
239
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:24,910
They'd never have to know.
240
00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:26,780
Really? You'd do that?
241
00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:28,120
They deserve the Nobel.
242
00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:30,620
I'm not gonna let two frauds
steal it from them.
243
00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:33,320
And if that means getting
my hands dirty, so be it.
244
00:10:33,390 --> 00:10:36,720
(LAUGHS)
What's so funny?
245
00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:41,300
Just realized I've never
actually seen your hands dirty.
246
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,730
All right, Hofstadter, here's
all the proof you need.
247
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,570
Great, thanks.
Just remember,
248
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:51,370
once you take this envelope,
there's no turning back.
249
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,040
What if I look at it
and decide not to use it?
250
00:10:57,610 --> 00:10:59,550
I had not considered that.
251
00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:01,850
Got to hand it to you,
252
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,680
you got a real talent
for making things boring.
253
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,750
Thanks.
254
00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:07,960
Hey, look at that,
you did it again.
255
00:11:10,090 --> 00:11:11,230
Hi, Leonard.
256
00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:13,060
What? Nothing.
257
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,960
You okay?
258
00:11:15,030 --> 00:11:16,330
Uh, no, you are.
259
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,280
So guess what.
There was a waitress
260
00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:27,280
at The Cheesecake Factory
back in the day
261
00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:29,380
who kind of had a thing for me.
262
00:11:29,450 --> 00:11:33,020
Other than Bernadette?
That does not sound right.
263
00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:34,450
Honest to God.
264
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,850
Oh, well, who was it?
265
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,350
It doesn't even matter.
I'm happily married.
266
00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:40,860
The point is women... plural...
Find me appealing.
267
00:11:40,930 --> 00:11:43,360
Okay.
Okay, well, well, let's see.
268
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:45,530
Okay?
We-we know it wasn't Penny,
269
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,870
we know it wasn't Susan...
Wait.
270
00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:49,270
How do we know it wasn't Susan?
271
00:11:49,340 --> 00:11:51,030
Uh, because she had a type.
272
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:52,300
What type?
273
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:55,140
Don't make me say it.
274
00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:58,140
Are you saying
I'm not a handsome guy?
275
00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:00,910
See? It's mean, right?
276
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,220
Hold on, as we've established,
277
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,920
a minimum of two women
think I'm attractive.
278
00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:11,090
Uh, yeah, you're right,
it was totally Susan.
279
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,960
I didn't say it was her.
I said it could've been.
280
00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:17,160
It could've been anybody.
Marta, Gina, Annalise...
281
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:20,730
It's a little creepy that
you remember all their names.
282
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,230
Not just their names.
283
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,330
The cars they drove,
the color of their eyes,
284
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,440
and whether or not
they had boyfriends.
285
00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:31,440
Your husband was acting
kind of weird today.
286
00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:34,810
You sure you're not thinking
about your husband?
287
00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:37,410
No. He was acting all sketchy.
288
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,280
Almost like he was guilty
or something.
289
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,750
Oh. Well,
that doesn't mean anything.
290
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:43,750
I mean, Leonard has
resting guilt face.
291
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,760
Yeah, it's-it's like, "What are
you guilty about, Leonard?"
292
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:48,330
"Nothing." "Well, then,
tell it to your face." (SCOFFS)
293
00:12:48,390 --> 00:12:50,460
Are you okay?
294
00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:52,260
I'm so okay, yeah.
295
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,500
Then why are you acting guilty now?
296
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,400
Okay, look, Leonard knows
297
00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:59,870
that you and Sheldon
decided to take the high road,
298
00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:01,340
so he went to Kripke for you.
299
00:13:01,410 --> 00:13:03,340
But that just means you
didn't do anything wrong,
300
00:13:03,410 --> 00:13:05,210
and now you don't risk
losing to those idiots.
301
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,110
Why did you tell me?
302
00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:09,480
Now that I know, I'm implicated.
303
00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:10,710
But you wanted me to.
304
00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,880
I also wanted you
to be my jester
305
00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:15,350
at the Renaissance Fair,
but that didn't happen.
306
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,890
I wanted to be a princess.
307
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,290
There was only one princess,
and it was me!
308
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,460
Fine. I'm sorry I told you.
309
00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:26,430
And I forgive you.
310
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,270
'Cause that's what
a princess would do.
311
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,800
Kudos on the meatballs.
312
00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:34,810
They're nice and round.
313
00:13:36,610 --> 00:13:38,080
Thanks.
Yeah.
314
00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:40,080
They're much better
than those prolate spheroids
315
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:42,580
you used to pass off as balls.
316
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:44,310
Okay.
317
00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:47,180
Are you all right?
You seem distracted.
318
00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:50,820
Yeah, sorry. I'm just trying
to figure something out.
319
00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:52,690
Is it what to get me
for our anniversary?
320
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,360
'Cause I'll give you
A HINT: it's already
321
00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:57,860
in my Amazon basket.
Just click "buy now."
322
00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:00,430
I filled out
the gift card for you.
323
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:03,670
Apparently,
I'm the light of your life.
324
00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:07,500
Sheldon, if someone
were gonna do something
325
00:14:07,570 --> 00:14:09,740
ethically murky on your behalf,
326
00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:11,580
would you rather know about it
327
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,880
or not know about it
to retain your innocence?
328
00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:19,020
Well, now that I know there's
a thing to know, I have to know.
329
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,690
Can't help myself;
I'm a fact addict.
330
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:23,420
That's not a real thing.
331
00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:25,660
And that's a fact.
332
00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:30,190
Leonard, I know
what you're planning to do,
333
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:31,460
and I said
I didn't want to do it.
334
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:32,700
What? You told him?
335
00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:34,130
Well, you told me.
336
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,700
Yeah, that's-that's
probably where you heard it.
337
00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:39,470
You're not doing anything wrong.
338
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,240
That's the point.
I'm doing it.
339
00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:43,040
Yeah, but it's still wrong.
340
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:44,780
Well,
so is you and Amy not getting
341
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,210
the recognition
for your discovery.
342
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,380
And if that means
I have to do something shady
343
00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:50,650
so you don't have to,
I'm okay with that.
344
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,180
But we're not.
345
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:55,090
I mean, it's sweet that you want
to help, but we don't want you
346
00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:57,250
compromising your integrity for us.
347
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,760
Wait, what... really?
348
00:14:59,830 --> 00:15:02,090
I thought we were just
worried about looking bad.
349
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,230
It could be both.
350
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,900
Okay.
351
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,030
But I'm gonna go with my reason.
Yours is too complicated.
352
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,100
Hey.
353
00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:15,410
Hey.
354
00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:19,010
Listen, I did something
kind of stupid today.
355
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,280
Okay.
356
00:15:21,350 --> 00:15:22,950
I went to The Cheesecake Factory
357
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:26,320
to try to figure out
who that waitress was.
358
00:15:26,390 --> 00:15:28,320
Howie.
Don't worry, I didn't find out,
359
00:15:28,390 --> 00:15:31,250
because I realized
I didn't even care. (CHUCKLES)
360
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,860
W-While I was there,
I started asking myself,
361
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:35,760
"Why does this mean
anything to me?"
362
00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:41,500
And... I guess the truth is
it was all about my vanity.
363
00:15:41,570 --> 00:15:45,440
And why should I need to be
validated by another woman
364
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:50,570
liking me when the best woman
in the world already loves me?
365
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:51,940
(SIGHS)
366
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:54,510
And I just wanted
you to know that.
367
00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:56,180
(CHUCKLES)
368
00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:57,710
The restaurant manager
already called.
369
00:15:57,780 --> 00:15:59,580
You really creeped
a lot of people out.
370
00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:04,820
And I regret that.
(CHUCKLES)
371
00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:07,590
Because the only woman
I want to creep out
372
00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:09,430
is the mother of my children.
373
00:16:11,830 --> 00:16:14,460
Well, you're off
to a good start.
374
00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:20,400
Thank you for meeting us.
375
00:16:20,470 --> 00:16:21,570
No problem.
376
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,540
We never say no when someone
wants to buy us lunch.
377
00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:26,080
We didn't say we were
going to buy you lunch.
378
00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,080
Really? Apologies go down easier
379
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:30,380
with free
turkey club sandwiches.
380
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,350
This isn't another apology.
381
00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:35,820
There's something
we have to give you.
382
00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:37,490
Yes.
383
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:41,860
Uh, we have proof that you
plagiarized your thesis.
384
00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:44,360
It's why we invited you
to this lunch.
385
00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:45,860
(GASPS)
We invited them.
386
00:16:45,930 --> 00:16:49,430
That's the confusion
over who's paying.
387
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,400
Hold on, are you
blackmailing us?
388
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,140
No, the opposite.
389
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,240
We're blackmailing you?
390
00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:01,680
How are you up for a Nobel?!
391
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:03,550
SHELDON: We're giving you this
392
00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:05,720
so that no one can
use it against you,
393
00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:08,220
because we want to win
on our own merits,
394
00:17:08,290 --> 00:17:10,020
not by tearing you down.
395
00:17:10,090 --> 00:17:12,360
So it's true?
You really did this?
396
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,690
It was years ago, and
I was going through
397
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,690
a very hard time.
What hard time?
398
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,730
I had to write a thesis, and
I wasn't smart enough to do it.
399
00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:23,170
You realize my name
is attached to yours.
400
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,140
If this gets out,
it ruins me, too.
401
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,900
It's not gonna get out.
402
00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:28,310
(SCOFFS) You know what?
Linda was right.
403
00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:29,870
You're always
looking for shortcuts.
404
00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:32,910
When did you talk to my ex-wife?
405
00:17:32,980 --> 00:17:33,980
She's not your ex-wife.
406
00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:35,280
You keep dragging your feet
on those papers.
407
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:38,320
Well, I'm trying to
get the lake house.
408
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:39,550
You're not getting
the lake house.
409
00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:41,550
You're never
getting the lake house.
410
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,020
She picked it out,
she decorated it.
411
00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:44,620
The lake house is hers.
412
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,390
What is going on here?
413
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:48,760
I'm in love with Linda!
414
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:53,430
You son of a bitch!
415
00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:00,200
(BOTH GRUNTING)
416
00:18:02,470 --> 00:18:04,910
That was my iced tea.
417
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,930
(SLURRING): Dr. Cooper, Dr. Fowler.
418
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,000
Just the guy I want to see.
419
00:18:14,070 --> 00:18:16,500
Are you drunk?
420
00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:19,470
I was, and then I still was.
421
00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:22,280
And now, I still was.
422
00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:25,010
Okay, can we help you?
423
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,980
Pemberton is out.
424
00:18:27,050 --> 00:18:30,020
Someone published all the
information about his plagiarism.
425
00:18:30,090 --> 00:18:31,490
(WHISPERS): It was me.
426
00:18:33,790 --> 00:18:35,960
Someone else told Fermilab,
and he lost his job.
427
00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:37,460
(WHISPERS): Also me.
428
00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:39,030
And someone is
429
00:18:39,090 --> 00:18:43,060
sleeping with his ex-wife
and it's not me.
430
00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:45,330
I thought it was.
431
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,870
Not anymore. Apparently,
just because I'm better
432
00:18:47,940 --> 00:18:51,000
than her husband doesn't mean
I'm as good as her contractor.
433
00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:54,880
Women, huh?
434
00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:56,340
I-I think you need to go.
435
00:18:56,410 --> 00:18:58,410
No, wait.
Hear me out.
436
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,080
Look, the three of us
could team up.
437
00:19:00,150 --> 00:19:02,980
There's one small catch.
Dr. Pemberton has been saying
438
00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:04,790
a lot of bad stuff about me.
439
00:19:04,850 --> 00:19:07,320
But don't worry, I couldn't
possibly have done any of it,
440
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,390
because I was with you guys
the whole time.
441
00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:10,720
(WHISPERS): I did it.
442
00:19:14,430 --> 00:19:16,130
(STAMMERS) Frankly,
I don't know what Linda
443
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,660
ever saw in either of them.
33742
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