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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:42,634 - Good morning, beautiful. 2 00:01:42,634 --> 00:01:44,903 -What time is it? 3 00:01:44,903 --> 00:01:46,805 Eh, 9:00ish. 4 00:01:46,805 --> 00:01:47,940 -Oh. 5 00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:49,141 -Thanks for sleeping over. 6 00:01:49,141 --> 00:01:50,142 -Mm-hmm. 7 00:01:50,142 --> 00:01:52,177 -Feels weird sleeping alone. 8 00:01:52,177 --> 00:01:53,946 Like I'm...Sleeping alone. 9 00:01:53,946 --> 00:01:54,980 You want to move in? 10 00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:56,949 -Ugh, no! 11 00:01:56,949 --> 00:01:59,618 You have got a bad case of the bed sprawl. 12 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,790 Plus, things are getting pretty serious with Jason. 13 00:02:04,790 --> 00:02:06,158 -Jason with the hair? 14 00:02:06,158 --> 00:02:07,960 -No, Jared with the hair. 15 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,429 This is Jason with the glasses. 16 00:02:10,429 --> 00:02:13,031 -Didn't you just go out with him, like, on a first date? 17 00:02:13,031 --> 00:02:14,133 -Uh-huh. 18 00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:16,335 And it was a great first date. 19 00:02:16,335 --> 00:02:18,270 And we've been texting... 20 00:02:18,270 --> 00:02:20,205 All the time! 21 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,011 Anything? 22 00:02:26,011 --> 00:02:29,715 -Just the same three jobs I'm not qualified for. 23 00:02:29,715 --> 00:02:30,716 This sucks. 24 00:02:30,716 --> 00:02:32,050 -You hated that job. 25 00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:33,952 -Yeah, but at least I could pay rent. 26 00:02:33,952 --> 00:02:36,155 -Just get a temp job. 27 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,080 Jason! 28 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,497 -Who would ever want to work a temp job? 29 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:52,938 -Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. 30 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,080 -Actually, no bakey. 31 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,382 But there's a goat cheese 32 00:03:03,382 --> 00:03:05,217 and squash frittata in the fridge. 33 00:03:05,217 --> 00:03:07,486 You can heat it in the toaster oven at 350 34 00:03:07,486 --> 00:03:09,588 or totally ruin it in the micro. 35 00:03:09,588 --> 00:03:11,924 Amaretto mimosa? -Oh, no, thanks. 36 00:03:11,924 --> 00:03:14,893 I gotta four-day gig at mbst&t starting today. 37 00:03:14,893 --> 00:03:17,696 -No way! They just moved me to mbst&t. 38 00:03:17,696 --> 00:03:19,865 I was totally planning on having a lame day, 39 00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:21,500 and they've gone and messed that up. 40 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,035 Did you already put in your money? 41 00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:25,204 -I put it in the ledger, but I didn't red-light it. 42 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,345 -What have we got, like, 75 days left? 43 00:03:33,345 --> 00:03:36,582 -84 if we want to make it there by Thanksgiving. 44 00:03:36,582 --> 00:03:38,083 -It's a small price to pay for another 45 00:03:38,083 --> 00:03:41,587 epic Jefferson and Carter ski adventure! 46 00:03:41,587 --> 00:03:44,756 Whoosh! Whoosh! 47 00:03:44,756 --> 00:03:48,026 We feeling the pink today? 48 00:03:48,026 --> 00:03:49,528 -Yeah, let's give it a try. 49 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,702 -Yeah. Yeah, I think that works. 50 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,516 -Oh, yeah. Shake that moneymaker. 51 00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:18,817 All right, guys, 52 00:05:18,817 --> 00:05:20,619 I need you to go through these boxes here, 53 00:05:20,619 --> 00:05:22,721 make sure we shred anything older than seven years. 54 00:05:22,721 --> 00:05:24,556 Dates are on the top of these folders. 55 00:05:24,556 --> 00:05:25,991 Any questions? 56 00:05:25,991 --> 00:05:28,026 -That suit, Ann Taylor? 57 00:05:28,026 --> 00:05:30,195 -Um...It is. 58 00:05:30,195 --> 00:05:31,663 -You really wear it. 59 00:05:31,663 --> 00:05:33,031 -Thank you, Jefferson. 60 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,068 -Mrs. hwang? 61 00:05:36,068 --> 00:05:37,369 -Yes. -Stephanie. 62 00:05:37,369 --> 00:05:39,071 Cal staff sent me over. 63 00:05:39,071 --> 00:05:42,808 -Okay, why don't you come with me. 64 00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,010 -Ann Taylor? 65 00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,078 -I'm telling you, man, 66 00:05:46,078 --> 00:05:48,847 these things are a gold mine. 67 00:05:48,847 --> 00:05:50,549 -Ann Taylor? 68 00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:51,683 -Ross. 69 00:05:51,683 --> 00:05:53,985 -You really wear it. 70 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:56,855 -We have 2,500 of these 71 00:05:56,855 --> 00:05:58,890 that need to be stuffed and metered by lunch. 72 00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:00,392 As soon as the other temps are finished shredding, 73 00:06:00,392 --> 00:06:02,160 they can jump in and help you out. 74 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:02,880 -Okay. 75 00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:06,832 -I know, not much time. -I'll do my best. 76 00:06:06,832 --> 00:06:08,367 -I'd prefer you just get it done. 77 00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:11,203 -Okay, I'll do that. 78 00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:13,438 -Are you talking back to me? 79 00:06:13,438 --> 00:06:14,506 -No? 80 00:06:14,506 --> 00:06:16,575 - There's a reason 81 00:06:16,575 --> 00:06:19,044 you're a temp worker, you know that, right? 82 00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:20,946 -Because I got laid off? 83 00:06:20,946 --> 00:06:23,482 -I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 84 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,019 They don't lay off the good workers. 85 00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:30,922 -All right, I'm gonna go stuff these. 86 00:06:30,922 --> 00:06:32,090 -Please do that. -I'm going. 87 00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:33,225 -Go. -Okay. 88 00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:34,226 -Hurry! -I am. 89 00:06:34,226 --> 00:06:35,426 -Let's go. 90 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:38,351 Temps. 91 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,268 -Don't take it personally. Hwang hates girls. 92 00:06:43,268 --> 00:06:45,203 All right, are we doing this? -And go! 93 00:06:45,203 --> 00:06:46,571 -No, no, no. -Corner back, corner back! 94 00:06:46,571 --> 00:06:48,874 Oh! Damn it. 95 00:06:48,874 --> 00:06:50,275 -Winner! 96 00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:53,545 -I demand a re-do. 97 00:06:53,545 --> 00:06:55,580 -Is this what you guys normally do around here? 98 00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:56,300 -Uh... 99 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,951 Sometimes we raid the office supply closet 100 00:06:59,951 --> 00:07:02,387 and see if we can make a fort out of anything. 101 00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:03,822 That gets real challenging. 102 00:07:03,822 --> 00:07:05,457 -You enjoy being a temp? 103 00:07:05,457 --> 00:07:07,959 -Temping is just a means to an end, really. 104 00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:09,327 We're actually skiers. 105 00:07:09,327 --> 00:07:11,663 -Like professional skiers? 106 00:07:11,663 --> 00:07:14,499 -Yeah, kind of. -Except we don't get paid. 107 00:07:14,499 --> 00:07:16,301 We're going to mount hood this year. 108 00:07:16,301 --> 00:07:18,804 It's a straga volcano or strata volcano. 109 00:07:18,804 --> 00:07:20,005 -Strata volcano. -Yeah. 110 00:07:20,005 --> 00:07:21,573 -Strata volcano. 111 00:07:21,573 --> 00:07:25,444 -So skiing and temping. Any other life plans? 112 00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:29,314 -I take it you're one of those live to work people. 113 00:07:29,314 --> 00:07:32,617 -I appreciate the value of a life's work, yes. 114 00:07:32,617 --> 00:07:34,786 -What's yours, then? 115 00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:39,858 -Oh, well, I... Went to school for accounting. 116 00:07:39,858 --> 00:07:41,293 -That sounds thrilling. 117 00:07:41,293 --> 00:07:43,995 -Well, what's your life's work, skiing? 118 00:07:43,995 --> 00:07:45,964 -It's actually not just about skiing, 119 00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:49,267 it's about, uh, seeing as many incredible places 120 00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:51,470 and meeting as many incredible people 121 00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:53,672 and gathering as many meaningful experiences 122 00:07:53,672 --> 00:07:55,540 before shuffling off this mortal coil. 123 00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:57,042 You know, things you can't really do 124 00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:59,878 from a cubicle or a corner office. 125 00:07:59,878 --> 00:08:02,614 Ever been skiing? 126 00:08:02,614 --> 00:08:04,182 -I was more of a field hockey girl. 127 00:08:04,182 --> 00:08:05,884 -Me, too. 128 00:08:05,884 --> 00:08:08,453 -I have a boyfriend. -Was that for me or for her? 129 00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:10,689 -You. -Oh. 130 00:08:10,689 --> 00:08:13,859 Okay. Congrats? 131 00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:16,228 -Sorry, I was just trying to shut this down. 132 00:08:16,228 --> 00:08:17,529 -Shut what down? 133 00:08:17,529 --> 00:08:18,830 -This little banter we have going on. 134 00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:20,365 -Why? 135 00:08:20,365 --> 00:08:22,634 -Banter usually implies ulterior motives. 136 00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:24,536 - I'm not hitting on you. 137 00:08:24,536 --> 00:08:26,371 -Good. 138 00:08:26,371 --> 00:08:27,506 -Would you like me to? 139 00:08:27,506 --> 00:08:28,506 -No. 140 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:32,644 -Seems like maybe you would like him to hit on you. 141 00:08:32,644 --> 00:08:35,146 Call 'em like I see 'em. 142 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,018 -I'm Jefferson. 143 00:08:40,018 --> 00:08:41,353 -Stephanie. 144 00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:50,996 -So what's your man list? 145 00:08:50,996 --> 00:08:53,732 -My man, oh, what are you talking about? 146 00:08:53,732 --> 00:08:55,567 -You know, list of qualities 147 00:08:55,567 --> 00:08:57,068 a guy has to posses in order for you 148 00:08:57,068 --> 00:08:59,905 to open up your secret sexual side. 149 00:08:59,905 --> 00:09:01,773 -I don't think I have one. 150 00:09:01,773 --> 00:09:04,576 But if I'm trying to waste time and not do work, 151 00:09:04,576 --> 00:09:08,580 I'd say um...He's gotta be nice, but not too nice. 152 00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,181 -Okay. 153 00:09:10,181 --> 00:09:14,419 -Uh, and he's gotta like kittens, puppies, and kids. 154 00:09:14,419 --> 00:09:17,422 -This is not quite as secret or sexual as I was hoping for. 155 00:09:17,422 --> 00:09:18,690 -We're at work. 156 00:09:18,690 --> 00:09:20,225 -Hey, I'm sorry, can I talk to Stephanie? 157 00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:22,027 She's the cute girl i was just making out with 158 00:09:22,027 --> 00:09:23,461 in the broom closet. -Shh! 159 00:09:23,461 --> 00:09:24,930 -Shh! -Shh! 160 00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:26,231 -Shh, shh! -Shh! 161 00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:27,866 -I have to say as a casual observer 162 00:09:27,866 --> 00:09:30,268 of the female species, you're all highly contradictory. 163 00:09:30,268 --> 00:09:32,904 Because as far as I can tell, most girls not only have 164 00:09:32,904 --> 00:09:36,775 but, in fact, enjoy many forms of loud, raunchy, kinky sex. 165 00:09:36,775 --> 00:09:38,109 -Gross. 166 00:09:38,109 --> 00:09:40,478 -See and yet none of you will ever admit 167 00:09:40,478 --> 00:09:43,615 that you like, want, or have these various kinds of sex. 168 00:09:43,615 --> 00:09:45,116 What is that? 169 00:09:45,116 --> 00:09:46,651 Is that some kind of agreement that you all have 170 00:09:46,651 --> 00:09:47,752 where if you don't talk about it, 171 00:09:47,752 --> 00:09:49,054 it doesn't actually happen? 172 00:09:49,054 --> 00:09:50,388 Like, if a random girl and a random guy 173 00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:51,823 have sex in a random forest, 174 00:09:51,823 --> 00:09:52,958 yet no one is there to randomly see it, 175 00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:55,460 can you still call her a slut? 176 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:59,664 Not that I would ever call anyone a slut. 177 00:09:59,664 --> 00:10:01,333 Unless you want to be called a slut. 178 00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,635 Even then, I think I would have my hang-ups with it. 179 00:10:03,635 --> 00:10:06,004 Hello? You want to get some lunch? 180 00:10:06,004 --> 00:10:08,907 -What are we gonna talk about? 181 00:10:08,907 --> 00:10:11,076 -The weather. 182 00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:15,880 -I like to be tied up. 183 00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,519 -Or we can talk about that. 184 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:26,091 -But we can't. I'm a girl. 185 00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:30,195 So you ready for lunch? 186 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,598 -Yes. 187 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,781 -Oh, my gosh! 188 00:10:49,781 --> 00:10:51,850 Josh and I would never come into a store like this. 189 00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:56,054 -Well, maybe that is why you broke up with him. 190 00:10:56,054 --> 00:10:57,622 -I like it. -Mm-hmm. 191 00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:11,817 -Um... 192 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,601 I don't really do that. 193 00:12:16,601 --> 00:12:18,103 -The... -Yeah. 194 00:12:18,103 --> 00:12:20,905 -Oh. Oh, sure. 195 00:12:20,905 --> 00:12:22,540 Good. -It's just I... 196 00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:23,775 I have lockjaw. 197 00:12:23,775 --> 00:12:25,276 -Ooh! -Yeah. 198 00:12:25,276 --> 00:12:27,145 -That doesn't sound fun. -Not at all. 199 00:12:27,145 --> 00:12:29,981 -Well, I should have asked. That was -- sorry about that. 200 00:12:29,981 --> 00:12:31,483 -Okay. -Um... 201 00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:39,090 -Oh! That is really gross. 202 00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:40,792 People poop in there. 203 00:12:40,792 --> 00:12:42,694 I poop in there. 204 00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:54,222 Oh! 205 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:55,758 Ah! 206 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,287 You know we have friends waiting, right? 207 00:13:09,287 --> 00:13:10,955 -No, I'm sure they're fine. -Oh! 208 00:13:10,955 --> 00:13:15,260 -Jefferson and I hit the mountains every single year. 209 00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:18,596 We're going to mount hood next year -- near Portland. 210 00:13:18,596 --> 00:13:22,300 You know that's a strata volcano. 211 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,868 -Oh? 212 00:13:23,868 --> 00:13:25,603 -Okay, stop, stop. 213 00:13:25,603 --> 00:13:27,472 You're starting to act like that vibrator we got. 214 00:13:27,472 --> 00:13:30,642 - Exactly what does that mean? 215 00:13:30,642 --> 00:13:33,211 -It means you know how it only has the one speed? 216 00:13:33,211 --> 00:13:36,114 Mee! Mee! Mee! You know? 217 00:13:36,114 --> 00:13:37,782 - Mee! 218 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:46,124 -Is that Annie Taylor that you got on? 219 00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:53,665 -Would you like me to be a little bit more variable? 220 00:13:53,665 --> 00:13:56,301 Maybe...A little bit more, "rah!" 221 00:13:56,301 --> 00:13:59,337 Or, "errr!" Or, "dugga-dugga-dugga-dugga." 222 00:13:59,337 --> 00:14:01,005 -Yeah. 223 00:14:01,005 --> 00:14:02,640 -Hey, got you a drink. 224 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,209 Hope you don't mind germs, 225 00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:06,277 'cause I took a little sip there. 226 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:11,883 -Oh! -Shh! 227 00:14:11,883 --> 00:14:14,352 -Ugh! That is really gross. 228 00:14:14,352 --> 00:14:16,254 People work here. 229 00:14:16,254 --> 00:14:18,389 I work here. 230 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,694 -Can I ask your honest opinion. 231 00:14:22,694 --> 00:14:24,195 What do you think of this jacket? 232 00:14:24,195 --> 00:14:28,099 -No, you may not, and I love it! 233 00:14:28,099 --> 00:14:30,602 -Did we miss anything? 234 00:14:30,602 --> 00:14:35,240 -No, I was just telling Curtis how awesome his jacket is. 235 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,042 -It's kind of getting warm in here. 236 00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:42,013 -I'm so confused. Are you in a relationship? 237 00:14:42,013 --> 00:14:43,948 -We're just trying to keep it in the moment. 238 00:14:43,948 --> 00:14:46,384 -I don't know what that means. -I don't, either. 239 00:14:46,384 --> 00:14:49,254 Jefferson says it a lot, seemed kind of romantic 240 00:14:49,254 --> 00:14:51,456 as I was getting out of that Josh situation. 241 00:14:51,456 --> 00:14:52,757 -You were getting out of a something 242 00:14:52,757 --> 00:14:55,360 that started in junior high situation. 243 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,863 So a toe fungus would have seemed romantic. 244 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:05,403 -Oh, well... I like being in something 245 00:15:05,403 --> 00:15:07,472 that's maybe not so defined. 246 00:15:07,472 --> 00:15:11,309 -Okay, but if a... 247 00:15:11,309 --> 00:15:14,646 Relationship isn't defined as a relationship, 248 00:15:14,646 --> 00:15:16,147 then is it really a relationship, 249 00:15:16,147 --> 00:15:17,815 because it seems like half 250 00:15:17,815 --> 00:15:19,984 of what makes a relationship a relationship 251 00:15:19,984 --> 00:15:23,121 is being able to call it a relationship. 252 00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:24,322 Am I right? -Whatever. 253 00:15:24,322 --> 00:15:26,591 You know, whatever. I'm happy. 254 00:15:26,591 --> 00:15:30,828 And the sex is fucking animal style. 255 00:15:30,828 --> 00:15:32,297 -I don't know. 256 00:15:32,297 --> 00:15:35,066 You always struck me as the person 257 00:15:35,066 --> 00:15:37,435 who needed an update on her Facebook status 258 00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:39,437 in order to go fucking animal style. 259 00:15:39,437 --> 00:15:41,606 -That was the old Steph. 260 00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:43,341 -I want ice cream. 261 00:15:43,341 --> 00:15:45,910 Do you want ice cream? 262 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,816 I want ice cream. -Yeah. 263 00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:24,549 -Guess who sent me a relationship request. 264 00:16:24,549 --> 00:16:27,051 -Oh, things are getting serious. 265 00:16:27,051 --> 00:16:28,486 What are you gonna do? 266 00:16:28,486 --> 00:16:30,521 -I don't know. I'm gonna... 267 00:16:30,521 --> 00:16:32,156 Ignore her for now and then just hope 268 00:16:32,156 --> 00:16:33,658 that she forgets she sent it. 269 00:16:33,658 --> 00:16:35,293 -Yeah, that's cool. 270 00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:37,795 I have an uncle who sends me candy crush requests, 271 00:16:37,795 --> 00:16:39,697 and I just ignore them. 272 00:16:39,697 --> 00:16:43,901 I'm never gonna play that game, okay? 273 00:16:43,901 --> 00:16:46,571 -Oops. Dropped some shit there. 274 00:16:46,571 --> 00:16:47,531 -Thanks. 275 00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:51,909 Don't worry about it. 276 00:16:51,909 --> 00:16:54,679 -Oh! Mmm! 277 00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:58,583 -In order, nape of the neck, eyes, and teeth. 278 00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:01,052 -Nape of the neck? Dude, you're a liar. 279 00:17:01,052 --> 00:17:02,353 -I am not a liar. 280 00:17:02,353 --> 00:17:03,855 -That's the kind of list a guy makes 281 00:17:03,855 --> 00:17:04,989 when he's embarrassed to say the first thing 282 00:17:04,989 --> 00:17:06,090 he looks for are tits. 283 00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:07,191 -Tits? 284 00:17:07,191 --> 00:17:08,593 -Yes, every guy looks for tits. 285 00:17:08,593 --> 00:17:10,161 -No, you -- you can't help seeing them, 286 00:17:10,161 --> 00:17:11,662 they're right in front of you. 287 00:17:11,662 --> 00:17:15,199 What I look for is a nice nape of the neck. 288 00:17:15,199 --> 00:17:16,934 -I guess you have a point. 289 00:17:16,934 --> 00:17:19,437 -Well, what's the first thing that you look for? 290 00:17:19,437 --> 00:17:20,157 -Tits. 291 00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:24,976 -Hey, guys. 292 00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:30,448 -Oh! 293 00:17:30,448 --> 00:17:32,450 -Nice nape. 294 00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:37,922 -Who do you think was the genius who first took a popsicle stick, 295 00:17:37,922 --> 00:17:40,258 jammed it in a hot dog, and then dipped it in a fryer? 296 00:17:40,258 --> 00:17:43,628 -I notice you haven't accepted my relationship status change. 297 00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,266 -What? 298 00:17:48,266 --> 00:17:50,568 -Yeah, I sent it to you, like, two or three weeks ago. 299 00:17:50,568 --> 00:17:53,071 It's not that big a deal, i just figured 300 00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:56,474 maybe it's time our status reflected our relationship. 301 00:17:56,474 --> 00:17:57,809 I did notice that you had time 302 00:17:57,809 --> 00:18:01,312 to post those hilarious workplace memes. 303 00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:03,481 Classic. 304 00:18:03,481 --> 00:18:05,283 -Well... 305 00:18:05,283 --> 00:18:07,452 Remember how, um... 306 00:18:07,452 --> 00:18:10,321 Refreshing we thought this thing is that we have? 307 00:18:10,321 --> 00:18:13,624 -What is this thing that we have? 308 00:18:13,624 --> 00:18:15,793 -This? -This. 309 00:18:15,793 --> 00:18:18,729 Us, you and me -- this. 310 00:18:18,729 --> 00:18:20,698 What is it? 311 00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:24,302 -Complicated. 312 00:18:24,302 --> 00:18:27,572 -Then how about it's complicated as a status? 313 00:18:27,572 --> 00:18:30,475 Just some indication that we're together. 314 00:18:30,475 --> 00:18:32,910 -Steph, it's only been, like, a month. 315 00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:37,081 -It's been almost three. 316 00:18:37,081 --> 00:18:38,583 -Really? 317 00:18:38,583 --> 00:18:39,917 -Do you really think I'd be doing the things 318 00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:42,587 we've been doing with some random guy? 319 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:47,158 -We haven't even been on a real date yet. 320 00:18:47,158 --> 00:18:48,793 -Date?! 321 00:18:48,793 --> 00:18:50,461 You don't even buy me drinks. 322 00:18:50,461 --> 00:18:52,864 -Yeah, 'cause that would make it a real date. 323 00:18:52,864 --> 00:18:53,944 -Oh. Wow. 324 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:57,935 I -- 325 00:18:57,935 --> 00:19:00,471 are you embarrassed by me or something? 326 00:19:00,471 --> 00:19:01,706 -No! 327 00:19:01,706 --> 00:19:03,774 No, Steph, you are... 328 00:19:03,774 --> 00:19:06,711 Way one of the coolest, sexiest, funniest chicks 329 00:19:06,711 --> 00:19:08,346 in the world, probably. 330 00:19:08,346 --> 00:19:09,614 -Then what the fuck?! 331 00:19:09,614 --> 00:19:11,482 -The fuck is... 332 00:19:11,482 --> 00:19:13,317 I don't know, why can't people just be happy 333 00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:14,886 with the way things are? 334 00:19:14,886 --> 00:19:16,787 You know, why can't people just live in the now? 335 00:19:16,787 --> 00:19:18,389 Why does everybody have to label and compartmentalize 336 00:19:18,389 --> 00:19:21,058 everything in their lives? -Because, Jefferson, 337 00:19:21,058 --> 00:19:22,460 that's how we make an informed decision 338 00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:23,828 on what we keep and what we throw out. 339 00:19:23,828 --> 00:19:25,630 -Like Josh? 340 00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:30,868 -Yes. Exactly like Josh. 341 00:19:30,868 --> 00:19:33,037 And whoever first decided to jam a popsicle stick 342 00:19:33,037 --> 00:19:34,739 into a hot dog was an asshole! 343 00:19:34,739 --> 00:19:36,974 This is disgusting! 344 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,245 -Stephanie! 345 00:19:41,245 --> 00:19:41,965 Steph! 346 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:46,484 Estephania! 347 00:19:46,484 --> 00:19:48,886 Hey, that's my corn dog! 348 00:19:48,886 --> 00:19:51,355 That's my corn dog! 349 00:19:51,355 --> 00:19:52,523 You know what, i don't want to be tagged 350 00:19:52,523 --> 00:19:53,824 in anyone's photos, either. 351 00:19:53,824 --> 00:19:55,026 It's a creepy invasion of privacy. 352 00:19:55,026 --> 00:19:56,494 -I agree. -This sucks, man. 353 00:19:56,494 --> 00:19:58,829 It's like I get punished for knowing what I want. 354 00:19:58,829 --> 00:20:01,098 -What do you want? 355 00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,402 Holy crap! 356 00:20:04,402 --> 00:20:07,672 That's Allison segal from high school. 357 00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:14,579 -Look at that, it's Allison segal. 358 00:20:14,579 --> 00:20:16,714 -I want out with her once -- junior year. 359 00:20:16,714 --> 00:20:18,082 -You did not go out with Allison segal. 360 00:20:18,082 --> 00:20:19,584 You never went out with anybody. 361 00:20:19,584 --> 00:20:21,285 And Todd Parker went out with Allison segal. 362 00:20:21,285 --> 00:20:22,753 -No, that was me. 363 00:20:22,753 --> 00:20:24,422 -Well, Todd Parker went out with her, too. 364 00:20:24,422 --> 00:20:25,923 Then again, he crushed, like, every girl in high school. 365 00:20:25,923 --> 00:20:27,525 I wonder what he's up to? 366 00:20:27,525 --> 00:20:29,460 -He's probably in jail. 367 00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:32,096 -Or witness protection. We should call him. 368 00:20:32,096 --> 00:20:33,731 Will and Nicholas, too. Those were good guys. 369 00:20:33,731 --> 00:20:35,600 -She didn't recognize us. 370 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,268 -Or she did. 371 00:20:37,268 --> 00:20:40,538 -She looks exactly the same, only more professional, 372 00:20:40,538 --> 00:20:44,475 like a businesswoman, not a prostitute. 373 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,044 I wonder if she's single. 374 00:20:47,044 --> 00:20:48,813 -No matter what I do, I'm gonna befoul this thing 375 00:20:48,813 --> 00:20:50,414 with Stephanie. 376 00:20:50,414 --> 00:20:51,134 -Yeah. 377 00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:54,252 -What? 378 00:20:54,252 --> 00:20:57,455 -She's probably single. 379 00:20:57,455 --> 00:20:59,156 -Oh. 380 00:20:59,156 --> 00:21:00,958 Yeah. 381 00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:32,056 Where you at today? 382 00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:46,924 -Hell. 383 00:21:55,213 --> 00:21:56,947 -Me, too. 384 00:21:56,947 --> 00:22:00,851 I'm back working with the hwang again. 385 00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:08,359 -Oh. My favorite. 386 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:11,696 Say hi for me. 387 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,965 -I thought about it, 388 00:22:14,965 --> 00:22:17,568 and maybe we can go out on a real date, 389 00:22:17,568 --> 00:22:20,705 just so you can see how much I suck at dating 390 00:22:20,705 --> 00:22:24,075 and why I shouldn't do it. 391 00:22:27,045 --> 00:22:31,515 -Are you asking me out on a date? 392 00:22:31,515 --> 00:22:38,589 -For strictly scienti-- scientific purposes only. 393 00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:54,739 -I'd love to be experimented on. 394 00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:11,355 -Are you bored? 395 00:23:11,355 --> 00:23:13,524 -What? No, no. 396 00:23:13,524 --> 00:23:15,960 -Oh, great. I'm boring you. I'm boring. 397 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,429 -Stop it, you're not boring. -I actually know that I am. 398 00:23:18,429 --> 00:23:19,764 It's okay, just go ahead and say it, 399 00:23:19,764 --> 00:23:22,566 come out and tell me. 400 00:23:22,566 --> 00:23:24,435 -What you're sensing right now is not boredom, 401 00:23:24,435 --> 00:23:25,870 it's just like when I get hungry, 402 00:23:25,870 --> 00:23:27,872 I just get, you know, one-track minded 403 00:23:27,872 --> 00:23:29,540 and, you know, i just get tunnel vision. 404 00:23:29,540 --> 00:23:31,108 It's like boom -- food. 405 00:23:31,108 --> 00:23:32,443 Just... 406 00:23:32,443 --> 00:23:34,078 -Boom, food. 407 00:23:34,078 --> 00:23:35,946 -Tunnel vision. 408 00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:38,656 -Right. 409 00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:56,667 -Your hair looks really nice. 410 00:23:56,667 --> 00:23:58,769 Did you do something different? 411 00:23:58,769 --> 00:24:00,771 -Kind of. 412 00:24:00,771 --> 00:24:03,240 Thanks for noticing. 413 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,277 -It looks really nice. 414 00:24:06,277 --> 00:24:09,246 -I'm glad you like it. 415 00:24:09,246 --> 00:24:10,496 - Oh. 416 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:23,861 Dave Matthews? 417 00:24:23,861 --> 00:24:25,429 -No, way worse than that. 418 00:24:25,429 --> 00:24:26,997 -Jack Johnson, 'cause he's about as bad 419 00:24:26,997 --> 00:24:30,134 as anybody I can think of. -Why do you want to know? 420 00:24:30,134 --> 00:24:32,269 -Because I think you can tell a lot about somebody 421 00:24:32,269 --> 00:24:34,205 from their most embarrassing music purchase. 422 00:24:34,205 --> 00:24:36,106 Dashboard confessional. 423 00:24:36,106 --> 00:24:37,975 -I like dashboard confessional. 424 00:24:37,975 --> 00:24:39,610 -Oh, god! -I like them! 425 00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:41,879 -I like dashboard. 426 00:24:41,879 --> 00:24:43,447 -Oh, man, that -- 427 00:24:43,447 --> 00:24:45,282 you really do have questionable taste in music. 428 00:24:45,282 --> 00:24:47,885 Really questionable. Jason mraz. 429 00:24:47,885 --> 00:24:49,854 -Not gonna tell you. -Come on, I told you mine. 430 00:24:49,854 --> 00:24:53,357 -Oh, you told me you downloaded a bright eyes album one time. 431 00:24:53,357 --> 00:24:55,025 How embarrassing is that? -Super embarrassing. 432 00:24:55,025 --> 00:24:59,230 -I own all of his albums plus an ep. 433 00:24:59,230 --> 00:25:00,998 -How can you say he won?! 434 00:25:00,998 --> 00:25:02,666 Look, he's -- he's sulking back into the ocean, 435 00:25:02,666 --> 00:25:04,001 a defeated beast. 436 00:25:04,001 --> 00:25:06,904 -She's returning home. 437 00:25:06,904 --> 00:25:08,739 -Godzilla's not a woman! 438 00:25:08,739 --> 00:25:13,878 -Um, she had a kid in "Godzilla's revenge," hello! 439 00:25:13,878 --> 00:25:15,479 -We're gonna have to have a serious talk, 440 00:25:15,479 --> 00:25:17,548 because that doesn't qualify as a movie. 441 00:25:17,548 --> 00:25:19,717 -Okay, regardless of how you feel about it, 442 00:25:19,717 --> 00:25:21,418 she would still be the winner. 443 00:25:21,418 --> 00:25:23,254 -Okay. 444 00:25:23,254 --> 00:25:25,556 Seriously, I just want you to think about this, okay? 445 00:25:25,556 --> 00:25:27,424 Who would win in a fight -- 446 00:25:27,424 --> 00:25:31,228 a giant, pre-historic dinosaur with clear back problems 447 00:25:31,228 --> 00:25:34,999 or Kong, the eighth wonder of the world? 448 00:25:34,999 --> 00:25:37,234 -Radioactive mutant lizard, no question. 449 00:25:37,234 --> 00:25:39,603 -Ugh, you! You're a lost cause. 450 00:25:39,603 --> 00:25:40,871 You're beautiful, 451 00:25:40,871 --> 00:25:42,373 but god damn it, you're a lost cause. 452 00:26:04,095 --> 00:26:06,730 I had a really good time tonight. 453 00:26:06,730 --> 00:26:09,433 - Yeah, me, too. 454 00:26:13,438 --> 00:26:14,805 I better go, though. 455 00:26:14,805 --> 00:26:17,875 -That would probably be best. 456 00:26:17,875 --> 00:26:20,945 -Yeah. Yeah. 457 00:26:20,945 --> 00:26:24,715 Otherwise, it's like there's this giant elephant in the room 458 00:26:24,715 --> 00:26:28,118 that I want to... 459 00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:33,157 ...fuck. 460 00:26:39,464 --> 00:26:42,132 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Go turn off the TV. 461 00:27:53,739 --> 00:27:56,006 That was like... 462 00:27:56,006 --> 00:28:00,878 Some of the most normal sex we've ever had. 463 00:28:00,878 --> 00:28:03,547 -Is that a bad thing? 464 00:28:03,547 --> 00:28:04,547 -No. 465 00:28:13,425 --> 00:28:14,858 Creed. 466 00:28:14,858 --> 00:28:16,493 -You brought creed. 467 00:28:16,493 --> 00:28:18,429 Wow. That is... 468 00:28:18,429 --> 00:28:20,497 So much worse than I could have thought. 469 00:28:20,497 --> 00:28:23,734 -I know! I know. 470 00:28:35,014 --> 00:28:37,614 You crack me up. 471 00:28:40,919 --> 00:28:43,353 -So this is how it's gonna be, huh? 472 00:28:43,353 --> 00:28:44,922 Every morning when I wake up, 473 00:28:44,922 --> 00:28:47,224 you're gonna be here taking away my opportunities 474 00:28:47,224 --> 00:28:49,126 to walk around naked. 475 00:28:49,126 --> 00:28:50,894 It's 4:00 in the afternoon. 476 00:28:50,894 --> 00:28:53,964 -I'm a night owl. Hoot! Hoot! 477 00:28:53,964 --> 00:28:56,600 -Well, if you want to walk around naked, be my guest. 478 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,036 -I'm gonna hold you to that. Where's Jefferson? 479 00:28:59,036 --> 00:29:00,437 -Out getting wine and cheese. 480 00:29:00,437 --> 00:29:01,772 We're going to see a movie tonight 481 00:29:01,772 --> 00:29:03,607 at the Hollywood cemetery. 482 00:29:03,607 --> 00:29:07,611 -Ah, you're running the bases backwards. 483 00:29:07,611 --> 00:29:09,279 -Running the bases backwards? 484 00:29:09,279 --> 00:29:10,748 -Means you start with sex 485 00:29:10,748 --> 00:29:13,250 and then you do all that couply stuff. 486 00:29:13,250 --> 00:29:15,119 -Yeah, I guess. 487 00:29:15,119 --> 00:29:17,454 -Now, the pancakes with orange zest. 488 00:29:17,454 --> 00:29:19,790 -Curtis? 489 00:29:19,790 --> 00:29:20,510 -Dude! 490 00:29:21,727 --> 00:29:23,560 -Oh, my god, is that a real newspaper? 491 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,730 -She's dead. 492 00:29:26,730 --> 00:29:28,966 -Allison segal? How? 493 00:29:28,966 --> 00:29:30,434 -Her heart exploded. 494 00:29:30,434 --> 00:29:31,274 -Gross! 495 00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:43,747 Should we say a prayer or... Something? 496 00:29:43,747 --> 00:29:45,682 -I'm gonna be honest, i feel little weird 497 00:29:45,682 --> 00:29:48,685 saying a prayer over a pair of used panties. 498 00:29:48,685 --> 00:29:50,320 -What? 499 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:54,024 I have a pair from every girl I've been with. 500 00:29:54,024 --> 00:29:56,693 -Yeah, that's a little... That's just creepy. 501 00:29:56,693 --> 00:29:58,328 Okay, Steph, back me up on this. This is a little -- 502 00:29:58,328 --> 00:30:00,164 -oh, actually, i can't say anything. I -- 503 00:30:00,164 --> 00:30:03,667 I do have a pair from all the girls I've been with. 504 00:30:03,667 --> 00:30:06,837 -If only we had stopped her to say hi. 505 00:30:06,837 --> 00:30:11,275 She could have been the one to find a cure to cancer. 506 00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:12,676 -Was she that smart? 507 00:30:12,676 --> 00:30:15,512 -Or...Stumbled upon it. 508 00:30:15,512 --> 00:30:17,614 -I never knew Allison very well, 509 00:30:17,614 --> 00:30:19,449 but in high school, 510 00:30:19,449 --> 00:30:21,885 I was always a big fan of her perky boobs -- 511 00:30:21,885 --> 00:30:23,554 -don't say that, you piece of shit! 512 00:30:23,554 --> 00:30:25,155 -Oh, Curtis, cool out! 513 00:30:25,155 --> 00:30:27,024 Cool out, man. 514 00:30:27,024 --> 00:30:30,661 -Jesus, Curtis, calm down. 515 00:30:30,661 --> 00:30:32,229 Not a... 516 00:30:32,229 --> 00:30:35,032 I'm sorry, I never knew you felt that strongly about her. 517 00:30:35,032 --> 00:30:38,535 -She was my first. 518 00:30:38,535 --> 00:30:42,239 -I thought Janet moler was your first. 519 00:30:45,711 --> 00:30:47,611 Orally. 520 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:54,418 -Sometimes I don't get Curtis at all. 521 00:30:54,418 --> 00:30:56,353 -Haven't you ever been madly in love? 522 00:30:56,353 --> 00:30:57,688 -Please, he was not madly in love. 523 00:30:57,688 --> 00:30:59,156 I didn't even know they were going out. 524 00:30:59,156 --> 00:31:00,991 -And what about you? 525 00:31:00,991 --> 00:31:03,026 - I thought I was, once. 526 00:31:03,026 --> 00:31:04,261 Turned out to be the flu. 527 00:31:04,261 --> 00:31:07,998 -I'm serious. -I'm serious, too. 528 00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:11,702 Just once, then I lost all self-respect. 529 00:31:11,702 --> 00:31:13,503 -What happened? 530 00:31:13,503 --> 00:31:16,039 -Ugh, I don't know. It was like a year ago. 531 00:31:16,039 --> 00:31:17,875 We were going out for a while, and then suddenly she decided 532 00:31:17,875 --> 00:31:19,776 she needed to find herself. 533 00:31:19,776 --> 00:31:23,347 Apparently, she'd been hiding inside another man's penis. 534 00:31:23,347 --> 00:31:24,915 -That's a good place to hide. 535 00:31:24,915 --> 00:31:26,917 Bet you didn't think to look there. 536 00:31:26,917 --> 00:31:28,418 -Are you folks ready to order? 537 00:31:28,418 --> 00:31:30,754 -Sure. Go ahead. 538 00:31:30,754 --> 00:31:34,258 -Uh... The, um, the chicken special. 539 00:31:34,258 --> 00:31:35,893 How does that come? 540 00:31:35,893 --> 00:31:37,361 -Baked, broiled, barbecue, stuffed, flame-broiled, 541 00:31:37,361 --> 00:31:39,363 peppered, on in a nice pot pie. 542 00:31:39,363 --> 00:31:40,898 -Um... 543 00:31:40,898 --> 00:31:43,267 The -- the broi-- broiled chicken special. 544 00:31:43,267 --> 00:31:45,235 -Me, too. -How would you like the potato? 545 00:31:45,235 --> 00:31:47,571 -Baked. -What are the other options? 546 00:31:47,571 --> 00:31:48,772 -Baked, whipped, scalloped, au gratin, 547 00:31:48,772 --> 00:31:50,474 country-fried, French fries. 548 00:31:50,474 --> 00:31:52,609 -Can we possibly substitute that with like a fruit compote? 549 00:31:52,609 --> 00:31:54,278 -Just get whipped. Everyone likes whipped. 550 00:31:54,278 --> 00:31:55,746 -I do like whipped. I'll get whipped. 551 00:31:55,746 --> 00:31:56,947 -Soup or salad? -Salad. 552 00:31:56,947 --> 00:31:58,415 -Sure. -Two salads. 553 00:31:58,415 --> 00:32:00,083 -Ranch, Russian, thousand island, blue cheese, 554 00:32:00,083 --> 00:32:02,085 ranch peppercorn, ranch vinaigrette, house Italian? 555 00:32:02,085 --> 00:32:03,987 -Do you have roquefort, or is that the same as blue cheese? 556 00:32:03,987 --> 00:32:05,322 -If they had roquefort, she'd say roquefort. 557 00:32:05,322 --> 00:32:06,990 -Unless they were the same thing. 558 00:32:06,990 --> 00:32:09,259 -We have blue cheese. -House Italian for me, please. 559 00:32:09,259 --> 00:32:11,128 -Can I switch that to the soup? -Veggie, beef barley, 560 00:32:11,128 --> 00:32:12,996 chicken noodle, cream of celery, or matzo ball. 561 00:32:12,996 --> 00:32:14,965 -Just go with the salad, house dressing. 562 00:32:14,965 --> 00:32:17,134 -Sure, yeah. Does the special come with bread? 563 00:32:17,134 --> 00:32:18,802 -Yes, white, wheat, rye, marble rye, pumpernickel, 564 00:32:18,802 --> 00:32:20,804 sour dough, kaiser roll, or bread stick. 565 00:32:20,804 --> 00:32:22,472 -Can we just get a variety in a basket? 566 00:32:22,472 --> 00:32:23,840 -Two specials, broiled, 567 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:25,342 potatoes -- one baked, one whipped -- 568 00:32:25,342 --> 00:32:27,611 two salads, house dressing, basket of bread. 569 00:32:27,611 --> 00:32:28,912 Anything to drink? 570 00:32:28,912 --> 00:32:30,514 -Two cokes. -I'll be up all night. 571 00:32:30,514 --> 00:32:31,915 -Coke, diet coke, sprite, root beer, iced tea, 572 00:32:31,915 --> 00:32:33,917 lemonade, o.J., coffee, tea, or milk? 573 00:32:33,917 --> 00:32:36,987 -One coke, one... -Sprite? 574 00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:41,325 You're very decisive. 575 00:32:41,325 --> 00:32:43,827 -Maybe that's your problem, you need to be more decisive. 576 00:32:43,827 --> 00:32:46,430 -Well, I have way more problems than that. 577 00:32:46,430 --> 00:32:47,464 I think. 578 00:32:52,437 --> 00:32:54,104 -I'm sorry, you guys. 579 00:32:54,104 --> 00:32:57,407 We're all out of chicken. 580 00:33:33,078 --> 00:33:34,811 -Hey. -Hey, how's it going? 581 00:33:34,811 --> 00:33:36,079 Am I interrupting? 582 00:33:36,079 --> 00:33:37,881 -Not at all. 583 00:33:37,881 --> 00:33:40,817 I was just warming up, loosen out all those bugs. 584 00:33:40,817 --> 00:33:43,487 -Mm-hmm. What for? 585 00:33:43,487 --> 00:33:45,822 -Well, after seeing Allison right before she died, 586 00:33:45,822 --> 00:33:48,725 I realized she saw me for who I was. 587 00:33:48,725 --> 00:33:51,561 She saw that I had the soul of an artist. 588 00:33:51,561 --> 00:33:53,163 -Wait, what? What does that mean? 589 00:33:53,163 --> 00:33:56,066 - I'm gonna be a dancer. 590 00:33:56,066 --> 00:33:58,568 -Like as a job, you're gonna do it as a job? 591 00:33:58,568 --> 00:34:00,904 -It's not commerce of the wallet, 592 00:34:00,904 --> 00:34:03,340 it's commerce of the spirit. 593 00:34:03,340 --> 00:34:05,709 We only live once. 594 00:34:05,709 --> 00:34:09,212 I need to find a way to express myself. 595 00:34:09,212 --> 00:34:10,547 -Through dance? 596 00:34:10,547 --> 00:34:11,797 -Yes. 597 00:34:13,585 --> 00:34:15,819 How do you express yourself? 598 00:34:17,422 --> 00:34:20,624 -Um, ah, I'm not sure I do. 599 00:34:20,624 --> 00:34:22,692 -That's your problem. 600 00:34:22,692 --> 00:34:25,695 -Why does everybody think i have a problem lately? 601 00:34:25,695 --> 00:34:28,065 I'm actually very happy with my life. 602 00:34:28,065 --> 00:34:30,434 -That's your problem, too. 603 00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:41,044 Plans and projects 604 00:35:06,138 --> 00:35:08,405 -no fucking way! Todd Parker! 605 00:35:08,405 --> 00:35:10,740 -Jeffy! Wow! Hey, how are you, man? 606 00:35:10,740 --> 00:35:12,342 -Oh, where have you been, man? 607 00:35:12,342 --> 00:35:14,077 Curtis and I were just taking bets on whether you were 608 00:35:14,077 --> 00:35:17,314 in prison or witness protection. -Oh, no, no, no. 609 00:35:17,314 --> 00:35:19,583 -Still cruising the bitches and slapping the hos? 610 00:35:19,583 --> 00:35:21,084 -Eh, not so much. 611 00:35:21,084 --> 00:35:22,986 -They must have named an std after you now. 612 00:35:22,986 --> 00:35:24,321 I swear, you had 30 different strands of chlamydia 613 00:35:24,321 --> 00:35:25,856 that one summer. 614 00:35:25,856 --> 00:35:27,324 Speaking of bitches you crushed, 615 00:35:27,324 --> 00:35:28,692 did you hear about Allison segal? 616 00:35:28,692 --> 00:35:30,427 -Yeah, it's sad. -Fucking terrible. 617 00:35:30,427 --> 00:35:32,929 -By the way, this is my wife. 618 00:35:32,929 --> 00:35:34,030 -Oh. 619 00:35:34,030 --> 00:35:35,832 -And my little girl, Claudia. 620 00:35:35,832 --> 00:35:37,267 -Your... 621 00:35:37,267 --> 00:35:38,702 Your little... 622 00:35:38,702 --> 00:35:40,637 -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. Hi. 623 00:35:40,637 --> 00:35:42,939 - This is Jeffy. 624 00:35:42,939 --> 00:35:45,008 We were...Pals. 625 00:35:45,008 --> 00:35:46,209 -Yeah. -At school. 626 00:35:46,209 --> 00:35:47,777 -Yeah, yeah. 627 00:35:47,777 --> 00:35:51,114 Wow! Look at -- Todd Parker and fam. 628 00:35:51,114 --> 00:35:52,482 This is just -- you know what? 629 00:35:52,482 --> 00:35:54,284 Can I get a picture of you guys? This -- 630 00:35:54,284 --> 00:35:55,952 Curtis is gonna laugh his ass off. 631 00:35:55,952 --> 00:35:57,954 Oh, wow! 632 00:35:57,954 --> 00:36:00,457 Uh, a little closer. A little closer. 633 00:36:00,457 --> 00:36:04,127 Yeah. That's all right. I'll widen out. Nice. 634 00:36:04,127 --> 00:36:06,329 Oh, you would not believe the trouble we used to get into. 635 00:36:06,329 --> 00:36:08,698 This guy. -Yeah, she's heard the stories. 636 00:36:08,698 --> 00:36:11,067 -Uh, Claudia's getting a little grumpy here. 637 00:36:11,067 --> 00:36:13,136 I'm gonna take her to the car. 638 00:36:13,136 --> 00:36:14,804 It was nice to meet you, Jeffy. 639 00:36:14,804 --> 00:36:17,374 -Nice to meet you. -See you in a bit. 640 00:36:17,374 --> 00:36:19,309 I'll be right out. 641 00:36:19,309 --> 00:36:22,646 -Bye, Claudia. 642 00:36:23,481 --> 00:36:24,681 -Shit, man, how many fucking times 643 00:36:24,681 --> 00:36:26,082 did I tell you to wrap it up? 644 00:36:26,082 --> 00:36:27,350 You're lucky it was a baby and not aids. 645 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:32,923 Yeah, well, I... I kind of wanted this one. 646 00:36:32,923 --> 00:36:34,491 But, anyway, what's going on with you, man? 647 00:36:34,491 --> 00:36:36,059 You working, what are you doing? 648 00:36:36,059 --> 00:36:38,161 -Oh, yeah, yeah! You know, working -- oops, shit! 649 00:36:38,161 --> 00:36:39,663 Working on not working. 650 00:36:39,663 --> 00:36:42,165 Working on getting to a mountain each season. 651 00:36:42,165 --> 00:36:44,201 Hey, so, you know, i was gonna go get a drink. 652 00:36:44,201 --> 00:36:45,535 You should come out with. 653 00:36:45,535 --> 00:36:47,337 -Oh...No, I can't. 654 00:36:47,337 --> 00:36:50,674 I, uh, I gotta get Claudia down. It's past her bedtime. 655 00:36:50,674 --> 00:36:52,409 -Bedtime? It's like -- 656 00:36:52,409 --> 00:36:54,511 -naptime, you know. 657 00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:57,414 -Not really. -Babies take naps. 658 00:36:57,414 --> 00:36:59,516 -Yeah. Well, maybe another time then. 659 00:36:59,516 --> 00:37:00,850 We'll go out for a... 660 00:37:00,850 --> 00:37:02,385 You know, Curtis would love to see you. 661 00:37:02,385 --> 00:37:04,554 Speaking of, do you ever see will or Nicholas or -- 662 00:37:04,554 --> 00:37:07,057 -oh, yeah, yeah. They're -- they're both married. 663 00:37:07,057 --> 00:37:09,159 Will's working on kid number two. 664 00:37:10,361 --> 00:37:12,796 - What?! -Yeah, I know. 665 00:37:12,796 --> 00:37:14,231 -What?! Married?! -Yeah. 666 00:37:14,231 --> 00:37:16,633 -Kids? What -- what happened to you guys? 667 00:37:16,633 --> 00:37:19,102 You all get, like, abducted by aliens or something? 668 00:37:19,102 --> 00:37:22,973 -Oh, no, we just kind of grew up, you know. 669 00:37:22,973 --> 00:37:24,241 You know what? 670 00:37:24,241 --> 00:37:26,376 Let me get a picture of you, too. 671 00:37:26,376 --> 00:37:29,813 The guys are not gonna believe how much you have not changed. 672 00:37:29,813 --> 00:37:31,715 -Yeah. How about this? 673 00:37:31,715 --> 00:37:33,250 Sun's out, guns out. Do this. 674 00:37:33,250 --> 00:37:35,485 -Oh, yeah, yeah! Classic Chucky. 675 00:37:35,485 --> 00:37:36,886 Oh, so stupid. -It's like old times. 676 00:37:36,886 --> 00:37:38,755 You get it?! -That's awesome! 677 00:37:38,755 --> 00:37:40,390 Oh, man. 678 00:37:40,390 --> 00:37:42,959 Well, I gotta get out of here, but good to see you. 679 00:37:42,959 --> 00:37:44,894 -Yeah, totally. -Say hi to Curtis. 680 00:37:44,894 --> 00:37:47,797 Tell him I remember he owes me 40 bucks. 681 00:37:47,797 --> 00:37:49,432 -Dude, he's gonna flip. -Yeah. 682 00:37:49,432 --> 00:37:51,134 All right, see ya. -Oh, hey, um... 683 00:37:51,134 --> 00:37:55,472 Speaking of, do you think i could borrow, like, 20 bucks? 684 00:37:58,509 --> 00:38:00,910 -30 different strands of chlamydia? 685 00:38:00,910 --> 00:38:02,345 -He was exaggerating. 686 00:38:02,345 --> 00:38:04,247 It was one summer, I got it, like, twice. 687 00:38:04,247 --> 00:38:06,983 It's not a big deal. It was like 10 years ago. 688 00:38:06,983 --> 00:38:08,752 -I don't want you hanging out with him. 689 00:38:08,752 --> 00:38:11,321 -Okay, well, you don't have to worry about it. 690 00:38:43,021 --> 00:38:46,156 -Hello. -Hey. 691 00:38:46,156 --> 00:38:48,625 -Unironic knuckle bump. 692 00:38:48,625 --> 00:38:50,527 -What are we moronically knuckle-bumping to? 693 00:38:50,527 --> 00:38:53,229 -Unironically knuckle-bumping to the somebody here 694 00:38:53,229 --> 00:38:55,965 who got a real job today. 695 00:38:55,965 --> 00:38:57,534 -What?! -Yeah. 696 00:38:57,534 --> 00:38:59,069 It's only an entry-level position, 697 00:38:59,069 --> 00:39:02,739 but it's full-time with benefits and a key fob! 698 00:39:02,739 --> 00:39:06,543 -I didn't even know that you were looking or... 699 00:39:06,543 --> 00:39:08,545 Full-time, huh? -Yeah! 700 00:39:08,545 --> 00:39:10,547 Yeah, I just put it out into the universe, 701 00:39:10,547 --> 00:39:12,382 then I ran into this old friend of mine. 702 00:39:12,382 --> 00:39:14,984 Her company was looking, and the next thing you know... 703 00:39:14,984 --> 00:39:17,721 Key fob! -Sweet. 704 00:39:17,721 --> 00:39:19,189 Soon you'll be able to afford some atvs 705 00:39:19,189 --> 00:39:20,824 and jet skis you'll never use. 706 00:39:20,824 --> 00:39:24,027 -What are you talking about? 707 00:39:24,027 --> 00:39:25,395 -I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 708 00:39:25,395 --> 00:39:28,064 This is exciting. Come here. Come here. 709 00:39:28,064 --> 00:39:29,232 Mmm! 710 00:39:29,232 --> 00:39:29,952 -Mwah! 711 00:39:31,570 --> 00:39:32,320 Oh. 712 00:39:38,242 --> 00:39:40,243 You don't want to be a temp for the rest of your life, 713 00:39:40,243 --> 00:39:41,083 do you? 714 00:39:44,216 --> 00:39:44,936 -What? 715 00:39:46,717 --> 00:39:47,437 -Yeah. 716 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:49,470 Oh. 717 00:39:50,088 --> 00:39:53,123 Oh, what's her name? 718 00:39:53,123 --> 00:39:54,858 -Dad. -Oh, sounds hot. 719 00:39:54,858 --> 00:39:59,195 -I need to go get something from him. 720 00:39:59,195 --> 00:40:01,898 -Does this mean i get to meet your dad? 721 00:40:01,898 --> 00:40:02,898 -No. 722 00:40:18,650 --> 00:40:21,284 -There's my boy! How are the slopes?! 723 00:40:21,284 --> 00:40:23,319 -Gonna find out. 724 00:40:23,319 --> 00:40:24,821 -Come aboard, come aboard. 725 00:40:26,658 --> 00:40:27,824 -Oh. -Tricky. 726 00:40:27,824 --> 00:40:30,093 -Oh. -Mind if I vape? 727 00:40:30,093 --> 00:40:35,298 I got a sweet little personal-use grow-op topside. 728 00:40:35,298 --> 00:40:38,468 For my migraines and anxieties -- totally legal. 729 00:40:38,468 --> 00:40:40,303 But... 730 00:40:40,303 --> 00:40:43,573 I lace it with a hint of opium. Not as legal. 731 00:40:43,573 --> 00:40:45,575 Dad, it's 10:30 in the morning. 732 00:40:45,575 --> 00:40:50,613 -Well, what is you kids say, it's 4:20 somewhere. 733 00:40:50,613 --> 00:40:52,982 -Oh, no. Thank you. 734 00:41:08,265 --> 00:41:10,633 -Anyway. 735 00:41:10,633 --> 00:41:11,801 -Oh. 736 00:41:11,801 --> 00:41:14,838 Uh, it's from you grandma. 737 00:41:14,838 --> 00:41:16,372 And then... 738 00:41:16,372 --> 00:41:19,008 I had to borrow, like, 40 bucks out of there 739 00:41:19,008 --> 00:41:22,479 to cover my health insurance. 740 00:41:22,479 --> 00:41:25,748 -It's -- it's fine. 741 00:41:32,456 --> 00:41:33,456 Dad? 742 00:41:34,526 --> 00:41:36,192 Dad? -Oh, my god, man. 743 00:41:36,192 --> 00:41:39,195 Where's my manners. Let me give you the grand tour. 744 00:41:39,195 --> 00:41:40,445 Um... 745 00:41:42,067 --> 00:41:43,833 Uh, there's the kitchenette, 746 00:41:43,833 --> 00:41:46,803 um...The microwave oven, 747 00:41:46,803 --> 00:41:49,973 toaster oven, range top. 748 00:41:49,973 --> 00:41:53,042 And here's my bedroom. 749 00:41:53,042 --> 00:41:56,980 Motion of the ocean, it's like sleeping in the womb. 750 00:41:56,980 --> 00:42:00,583 And then through the kitchenette is the freedom room. 751 00:42:00,583 --> 00:42:02,352 That's for...Open debate 752 00:42:02,352 --> 00:42:05,388 and discourse and just vegging out. 753 00:42:05,388 --> 00:42:10,193 Plus, I got directv, so I watch "whale wars." 754 00:42:10,193 --> 00:42:14,898 -Well, it is a very lovely home...Boat. 755 00:42:14,898 --> 00:42:18,568 -When Jeffy's mom left, my whole perspective changed. 756 00:42:18,568 --> 00:42:20,003 And I just looked around, 757 00:42:20,003 --> 00:42:21,771 and I thought, "do these advanced degrees 758 00:42:21,771 --> 00:42:23,706 hanging on the wall mean anything? 759 00:42:23,706 --> 00:42:28,177 Does Volvo's safety record mean anything?" 760 00:42:28,177 --> 00:42:29,879 I'm 15 years into a 30-year mortgage 761 00:42:29,879 --> 00:42:32,582 and who cares?! 762 00:42:32,582 --> 00:42:35,051 It's prison. 763 00:42:35,051 --> 00:42:37,353 And little Jeffy sprouted his little wings, 764 00:42:37,353 --> 00:42:39,022 flew the Coop, and that was it. 765 00:42:39,022 --> 00:42:40,890 I just... 766 00:42:40,890 --> 00:42:43,092 Didn't need to own anything, didn't need to be anywhere, 767 00:42:43,092 --> 00:42:45,028 so I had a friend, he had a boat, 768 00:42:45,028 --> 00:42:47,196 and I'm living the dream for $375 a month, 769 00:42:47,196 --> 00:42:49,566 plus I gotta scrape the barnacles off. 770 00:42:49,566 --> 00:42:51,901 -Okay, we gotta go, dad. -Yeah, me, too. 771 00:42:51,901 --> 00:42:54,571 Don't be a stranger, okay, unless that's your thing. 772 00:42:54,571 --> 00:42:55,872 All right, how about a hug. 773 00:42:55,872 --> 00:42:57,073 -Oh. -Mm! 774 00:42:57,073 --> 00:42:58,641 -So nice to meet you. 775 00:42:58,641 --> 00:43:01,210 -Oh, my god. That feels good! 776 00:43:01,210 --> 00:43:03,146 Dang. Seriously. 777 00:43:03,146 --> 00:43:05,214 What do you gotta do to score a fox like you? 778 00:43:05,214 --> 00:43:05,934 -Easy. 779 00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:14,223 -By left, he meant left this earth. 780 00:43:14,223 --> 00:43:15,592 My mother's dead. 781 00:43:19,730 --> 00:43:21,264 -I'm sorry. 782 00:43:21,264 --> 00:43:23,533 -It was a long time ago. 783 00:43:25,302 --> 00:43:26,636 Should have just told you earlier. 784 00:43:26,636 --> 00:43:29,272 I don't know why I didn't. 785 00:43:29,272 --> 00:43:32,241 -It's okay. 786 00:43:32,241 --> 00:43:34,243 -Yeah, thank god I only have to see him once a month. 787 00:43:37,449 --> 00:43:38,982 You know... -Yes. 788 00:43:38,982 --> 00:43:41,317 -No. Mnh-mnh. 789 00:43:50,362 --> 00:43:54,764 -Are you sure he can't hear us? 790 00:43:54,764 --> 00:43:56,099 -Oh, no, he can definitely hear us, 791 00:43:56,099 --> 00:43:59,435 I just told him not to listen. 792 00:44:00,804 --> 00:44:04,474 -Oh, no, I -- no, no. I can't do this. 793 00:44:04,474 --> 00:44:06,142 -What do you mean you can't do this? Yes, you can. 794 00:44:06,142 --> 00:44:07,677 -I can't do this. -Yes, you can totally do this. 795 00:44:07,677 --> 00:44:09,278 You can absolutely -- -no. 796 00:44:09,278 --> 00:44:11,214 -Oh, come on. You can do it in the bathroom of a bar 797 00:44:11,214 --> 00:44:14,951 or in the broom closet of an office or in the car, 798 00:44:14,951 --> 00:44:17,687 but you can't do it with little Curtis around. 799 00:44:17,687 --> 00:44:19,122 -No, no, listen -- listen. 800 00:44:19,122 --> 00:44:20,957 -Mm-hmm. -They were strangers. 801 00:44:20,957 --> 00:44:24,627 I know Curtis, i have to see him again. 802 00:44:24,627 --> 00:44:26,129 -Want to go to your place? 803 00:44:26,129 --> 00:44:28,364 -I would, but it's after midnight 804 00:44:28,364 --> 00:44:29,465 and I have to work tomorrow. 805 00:44:29,465 --> 00:44:31,134 -Yeah, so? 806 00:44:31,134 --> 00:44:32,402 -Hey, hey, listen. 807 00:44:32,402 --> 00:44:34,537 How about I just a rain check 808 00:44:34,537 --> 00:44:37,807 for when Curtis is out of town or something. 809 00:44:37,807 --> 00:44:39,475 -Fine, blue-ball me. 810 00:44:39,475 --> 00:44:41,144 -Ew. Never, ever say that again. 811 00:44:41,144 --> 00:44:43,780 -Oh, don't ever do it again. 812 00:44:45,582 --> 00:44:47,817 -Oh, by the way, what are you doing on Saturday? 813 00:44:47,817 --> 00:44:49,686 -Nothing, I don't think. -Good. 814 00:44:49,686 --> 00:44:52,255 'Cause I plus-oned you to this girl, Miranda's, wedding. 815 00:44:52,255 --> 00:44:53,856 I just started working with her, 816 00:44:53,856 --> 00:44:55,525 so it's kind of weird that I even got an invite, 817 00:44:55,525 --> 00:44:57,060 but not surprising seeing as though 818 00:44:57,060 --> 00:44:58,828 I get invited to everybody's wedding, 819 00:44:58,828 --> 00:45:01,864 this being the sixth of the year. 820 00:45:01,864 --> 00:45:03,666 -You plus-oned me to a -- to a wedding? 821 00:45:03,666 --> 00:45:06,836 -Yeah, free food, an open bar, i figured you wouldn't mind. 822 00:45:06,836 --> 00:45:08,438 -You can't just plus-one somebody to a wedding 823 00:45:08,438 --> 00:45:10,840 without asking if they're available first. 824 00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,342 -I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be a thing. 825 00:45:13,342 --> 00:45:15,778 -To -- to a wedding? To a work person's wedding, 826 00:45:15,778 --> 00:45:17,447 and you think i want to go hang out 827 00:45:17,447 --> 00:45:19,515 with a bunch of stiffs i have nothing in common with? 828 00:45:19,515 --> 00:45:22,185 -Okay, first of all, they're not stiffs, they're my friends. 829 00:45:22,185 --> 00:45:24,053 -Oh, and what do you do, friend of Stephanie's? 830 00:45:24,053 --> 00:45:27,056 Oh, I fill in for you assholes for about 1/10 of your salary 831 00:45:27,056 --> 00:45:28,891 whenever one of you has a stress-related heart attack 832 00:45:28,891 --> 00:45:30,693 on your way to an early grave. 833 00:45:30,693 --> 00:45:33,930 -Wow, sometimes you can be such a sad, judgy dick. 834 00:45:33,930 --> 00:45:35,598 -I'm a dick? -Uh-huh! 835 00:45:35,598 --> 00:45:37,233 -You're the one who plus-oned me to a wedding 836 00:45:37,233 --> 00:45:39,202 without even asking if I was available first. 837 00:45:39,202 --> 00:45:40,770 -Okay, I'm sorry. I should have asked. 838 00:45:40,770 --> 00:45:43,106 -Shocking people even go to those things anymore. 839 00:45:43,106 --> 00:45:45,641 I mean, how can you sit there celebrating two morons 840 00:45:45,641 --> 00:45:47,577 who are just gonna be divorced in five years. 841 00:45:47,577 --> 00:45:49,278 And you don't just invite yourself 842 00:45:49,278 --> 00:45:51,214 to meet somebody's dad, by the way. 843 00:45:51,214 --> 00:45:52,715 If I wanted you to meet that asshole, 844 00:45:52,715 --> 00:45:54,317 I would have invited you. 845 00:45:54,317 --> 00:45:56,619 I would have -- I would have invited you to meet him. 846 00:45:56,619 --> 00:45:59,122 That's personal, okay? -I'm sorry. 847 00:45:59,122 --> 00:46:00,456 I didn't even realize that you felt that way. 848 00:46:00,456 --> 00:46:02,125 -And what the fuck are you sending me 849 00:46:02,125 --> 00:46:04,093 a relationship request for? 850 00:46:04,093 --> 00:46:06,229 Guess what, Steph, the world of social media 851 00:46:06,229 --> 00:46:08,664 does not give two shits if we are in a relationship 852 00:46:08,664 --> 00:46:10,967 or complicated or -- or whatever. 853 00:46:10,967 --> 00:46:13,102 And I'm sorry if I refuse to take what we have 854 00:46:13,102 --> 00:46:14,604 and shout it to cyberspace 855 00:46:14,604 --> 00:46:16,472 so people can like it or comment on it 856 00:46:16,472 --> 00:46:18,941 whenever we put up a photo of ourselves! 857 00:46:18,941 --> 00:46:20,510 And then when we inevitably break up, 858 00:46:20,510 --> 00:46:24,781 have those exact same people like that status. 859 00:46:24,781 --> 00:46:27,250 You just over-step -- 860 00:46:27,250 --> 00:46:29,352 a lot, and I think you should work on that. 861 00:46:29,352 --> 00:46:32,088 -Excuse me?! 862 00:46:32,088 --> 00:46:33,689 -I'm saying this because I care. 863 00:46:33,689 --> 00:46:37,827 -What do we have, Jefferson? What do we have? 864 00:46:37,827 --> 00:46:40,696 -W-- we have this. We have us. 865 00:46:40,696 --> 00:46:42,465 Christ, what do you want, Steph? 866 00:46:42,465 --> 00:46:44,534 I feel like I've been expressly clear about what I want, 867 00:46:44,534 --> 00:46:46,469 and you're the one who's gone changing the deal. 868 00:46:46,469 --> 00:46:48,304 -That's life! 869 00:46:48,304 --> 00:46:50,473 Things grow and change and evolve! 870 00:46:50,473 --> 00:46:53,643 Relationships grow and change and evolve. 871 00:46:53,643 --> 00:46:55,378 I can't do this anymore. 872 00:46:55,378 --> 00:46:57,180 I don't want to be just a fuck buddy. 873 00:46:57,180 --> 00:46:59,048 -Fuck buddy? We're not even fucking. 874 00:46:59,048 --> 00:47:01,617 You're leaving, remember? 875 00:47:02,386 --> 00:47:04,720 -Oh, I am so done with this. 876 00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:06,322 And you know what? 877 00:47:06,322 --> 00:47:08,057 It might shock you, but I'm actually looking for 878 00:47:08,057 --> 00:47:09,659 something way more than a label. 879 00:47:09,659 --> 00:47:12,295 I'm looking for a fucking partner in crime. 880 00:47:12,295 --> 00:47:14,030 -That you can just get tired of and dump? 881 00:47:14,030 --> 00:47:16,465 -I am not your ex-girlfriend! 882 00:47:16,465 --> 00:47:18,467 I'm not gonna go hide in some other man's penis! 883 00:47:18,467 --> 00:47:21,537 -Tell that to Josh. 884 00:47:21,537 --> 00:47:24,740 -You are a self-fulfilling prophesy. 885 00:47:24,740 --> 00:47:26,676 -Another label, thank you. 886 00:47:39,723 --> 00:47:42,391 -Go after here. 887 00:47:44,394 --> 00:47:47,763 Okay, don't, that's cool. 888 00:48:07,251 --> 00:48:09,185 -Mmm! 889 00:48:09,185 --> 00:48:10,553 This was heavenly! 890 00:48:10,553 --> 00:48:11,854 -What I tell you? 891 00:48:11,854 --> 00:48:15,091 Cupcakes are the panacea for all ailments. 892 00:48:15,091 --> 00:48:18,261 -Yeah, but now instead of feeling sad, I feel guilty. 893 00:48:18,261 --> 00:48:20,596 Fat. -You'll get over it. 894 00:48:20,596 --> 00:48:23,299 -What the hell's a panacea anyway? 895 00:48:23,299 --> 00:48:25,701 -It's Greek for cure-all. 896 00:48:25,701 --> 00:48:27,236 -How do you know that? 897 00:48:27,236 --> 00:48:30,039 -I'm Greek. -No, you're not. 898 00:48:30,039 --> 00:48:31,974 Are you? -Half. 899 00:48:31,974 --> 00:48:33,609 -Maybe he's right. 900 00:48:33,609 --> 00:48:36,045 Maybe we are too young to be thinking about the future. 901 00:48:36,045 --> 00:48:37,413 We should just live in the moment. 902 00:48:37,413 --> 00:48:39,081 -No. 903 00:48:39,081 --> 00:48:41,550 Spending your twenties, like, sowing your wild oats 904 00:48:41,550 --> 00:48:43,386 or finding yourself or whatever 905 00:48:43,386 --> 00:48:44,987 is a bunch of malarkey. 906 00:48:44,987 --> 00:48:47,256 All that leaves you is a biological clock 907 00:48:47,256 --> 00:48:49,825 ticking in tall boots, going on eharmony dates 908 00:48:49,825 --> 00:48:52,461 with men in their 40s who still collect action figures. 909 00:48:52,461 --> 00:48:55,298 -Did you just say "malarkey"? -I'm bringing it back. 910 00:48:55,298 --> 00:48:56,966 You know what we should do? 911 00:48:56,966 --> 00:49:01,771 We should get dressed and call some boys and go out. 912 00:49:01,771 --> 00:49:04,140 -After this. -Attagirl. 913 00:49:12,349 --> 00:49:14,617 -5, 6, 7, 8. 914 00:49:14,617 --> 00:49:16,786 One, three... 915 00:49:16,786 --> 00:49:18,788 5, 6, 7, 8. 916 00:49:18,788 --> 00:49:20,423 And good. 917 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,027 Lift up. 918 00:49:25,027 --> 00:49:27,129 Stop, stop, stop. 919 00:49:27,129 --> 00:49:30,666 Please, stop. Everyone, come here a second. 920 00:49:34,504 --> 00:49:37,373 -That's great, but maybe we should save the accounting 921 00:49:37,373 --> 00:49:40,776 for the apartment. 922 00:49:40,776 --> 00:49:42,979 Why don't we just go to mount hood next year? 923 00:49:42,979 --> 00:49:44,547 -Please, if there's one thing we are definitely doing 924 00:49:44,547 --> 00:49:47,717 this year, it is going to mount hood. 925 00:49:53,056 --> 00:49:56,058 -Are we maybe running away from something? 926 00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:04,533 -Sometimes you have to have something and lose it 927 00:50:04,533 --> 00:50:07,136 to know why you wanted it or needed it. 928 00:50:09,506 --> 00:50:11,574 -Are you talking about beer? 929 00:50:11,574 --> 00:50:13,009 'Cause I could really use a beer. 930 00:50:15,413 --> 00:50:20,049 -Well, if you consider my movie collection a shrine... 931 00:50:20,049 --> 00:50:20,769 Uh-oh. 932 00:50:22,153 --> 00:50:23,686 -Uh-oh, what? 933 00:50:26,257 --> 00:50:26,977 -Shit! 934 00:50:28,526 --> 00:50:29,892 Shit! 935 00:50:32,363 --> 00:50:34,363 Shit! 936 00:50:34,363 --> 00:50:36,999 Shit! Who's the guy she's with? 937 00:50:36,999 --> 00:50:40,436 -A guy. -That asshole! 938 00:50:40,436 --> 00:50:41,704 I bet he sells things. 939 00:50:41,704 --> 00:50:43,906 -We're all selling something. 940 00:50:46,209 --> 00:50:48,177 -Yep. 941 00:50:49,546 --> 00:50:51,280 -That was kind of funny? -Yeah. 942 00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:53,249 -A lot of disinfectant. 943 00:50:53,249 --> 00:50:55,751 -Hey, hey, hey. 944 00:50:55,751 --> 00:50:56,786 Amy, good to see you. 945 00:50:56,786 --> 00:50:58,220 -No. 946 00:50:58,220 --> 00:51:00,289 -Oh, you must be Matt. 947 00:51:00,289 --> 00:51:02,925 No, no, Jason. Ryan? 948 00:51:02,925 --> 00:51:04,693 -Okay. -So many, I get 'em confused. 949 00:51:04,693 --> 00:51:06,228 What are you doing here? 950 00:51:06,228 --> 00:51:08,197 -Same thing everyone else is doing here, I guess. 951 00:51:08,197 --> 00:51:09,865 -Pretending to have a good time in your desperate attempt 952 00:51:09,865 --> 00:51:11,634 to convince ourselves we belong? 953 00:51:11,634 --> 00:51:13,302 -We're having a few drinks. 954 00:51:13,302 --> 00:51:15,371 What are you doing here? -Pretending to have a good time 955 00:51:15,371 --> 00:51:17,273 in a desperate attempt to convince myself I bel-- 956 00:51:17,273 --> 00:51:18,908 -have you met Blake? -Hey, what's up, guy? 957 00:51:18,908 --> 00:51:20,476 How's sales? -Oh, pretty good. 958 00:51:20,476 --> 00:51:21,977 -Oh, really, 'cause I don't see any coffee. 959 00:51:21,977 --> 00:51:24,847 And we all know that coffee is for closers. 960 00:51:26,283 --> 00:51:29,819 Stupid "glengarry Glen Ross" -- great movie, 961 00:51:29,819 --> 00:51:31,620 one of her favorites if you're trying to get in her pants. 962 00:51:31,620 --> 00:51:33,722 Hey, can I -- can we talk privately? 963 00:51:33,722 --> 00:51:37,059 -Do you mind? -No, he's good. Come on. 964 00:51:40,397 --> 00:51:44,166 - I have no idea who Matt is. 965 00:51:46,436 --> 00:51:48,070 -Who's the guy? -Just a guy. 966 00:51:48,070 --> 00:51:50,239 -Just a guy, huh? -Just a guy. 967 00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:52,608 Sensitive, intelligent, sense of humor, cute smile. 968 00:51:52,608 --> 00:51:54,510 -Cute butt? -Oh, you noticed, too? 969 00:51:54,510 --> 00:51:55,811 -Oh, that thing is impossible to miss. 970 00:51:55,811 --> 00:51:57,580 That's a pilates ass, by the way. 971 00:51:57,580 --> 00:52:00,916 I can't believe you brought a date here to our bar. 972 00:52:00,916 --> 00:52:03,352 -I just met him, he's not a date. 973 00:52:03,352 --> 00:52:05,588 And I didn't realize this was our bar. 974 00:52:05,588 --> 00:52:08,424 -You know, I remember when I was just the guy. 975 00:52:08,424 --> 00:52:09,992 -Yeah. 976 00:52:09,992 --> 00:52:12,261 Sad, 'cause now you're just an asshole. 977 00:52:12,261 --> 00:52:16,298 -You know, from the start -- from the start, 978 00:52:16,298 --> 00:52:19,668 I said that if this happened between us, 979 00:52:19,668 --> 00:52:22,771 that...This would happen. 980 00:52:22,771 --> 00:52:24,473 -I'm glad he's here, 981 00:52:24,473 --> 00:52:26,809 'cause now I won't make some stupid mistake with you. 982 00:52:26,809 --> 00:52:28,477 -That's good. -It's good. 983 00:52:28,477 --> 00:52:30,446 -Good. -It's good. 984 00:52:34,986 --> 00:52:38,554 -What kind of stupid mistake are you talking about? 985 00:52:44,961 --> 00:52:47,029 Probably shouldn't have had that extra beer. 986 00:53:31,275 --> 00:53:35,044 -Maybe me focus on that instead of mount hood this year. 987 00:53:39,717 --> 00:53:42,885 -What? What are you talking about right now? 988 00:53:42,885 --> 00:53:44,920 -Don't be mad. 989 00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:47,423 I just... Want to spend more time 990 00:53:47,423 --> 00:53:49,792 trying to find myself. 991 00:53:49,792 --> 00:53:51,727 -That's what we do on the mountain. 992 00:53:51,727 --> 00:53:53,295 -Right, no, we do. 993 00:53:53,295 --> 00:53:55,898 But I think I'm growing beyond the mountain. 994 00:53:55,898 --> 00:53:58,133 -Beyond the mountain? -Plus, my parents 995 00:53:58,133 --> 00:54:00,102 are hassling me about not paying rent, 996 00:54:00,102 --> 00:54:01,570 especially for the three or four months 997 00:54:01,570 --> 00:54:02,905 that I'm not even home. 998 00:54:02,905 --> 00:54:04,473 -So get a sublet. 999 00:54:04,473 --> 00:54:05,774 That's what people do, they get sublets. 1000 00:54:05,774 --> 00:54:07,776 I'll help you, okay? -Right. 1001 00:54:07,776 --> 00:54:10,579 No, I know. 1002 00:54:10,579 --> 00:54:13,882 Also...I want to take some more dance classes, 1003 00:54:13,882 --> 00:54:15,784 and that's pretty spendy. 1004 00:54:19,122 --> 00:54:21,790 -Dance classes? 1005 00:54:26,930 --> 00:54:30,899 This ski trip is all I've wanted all year. 1006 00:54:30,899 --> 00:54:33,435 It is all I've been working these mind-numbing, 1007 00:54:33,435 --> 00:54:36,305 soul-sucking jobs for. 1008 00:54:36,305 --> 00:54:40,175 And you're just gonna take it away from me so you can dance?! 1009 00:54:40,175 --> 00:54:41,644 -You can have the money. 1010 00:54:41,644 --> 00:54:44,313 -It's not about the money, asshole! 1011 00:54:44,313 --> 00:54:46,148 It's about the fucking plan! 1012 00:54:46,148 --> 00:54:47,950 You had a plan, and you're not sticking to it! 1013 00:54:47,950 --> 00:54:49,852 -How am I an asshole for just not doing 1014 00:54:49,852 --> 00:54:52,388 what you want me to do?! -Fuck you! 1015 00:55:21,451 --> 00:55:23,218 -Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1016 00:55:23,218 --> 00:55:25,354 Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh. 1017 00:55:25,354 --> 00:55:28,657 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. 1018 00:55:28,657 --> 00:55:32,394 Oh, fuck! Oh, yeah. Oh! Oh! 1019 00:55:32,394 --> 00:55:35,297 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, yeah! I want it! 1020 00:55:35,297 --> 00:55:38,901 -Sorry, is it too loud? Need me to headphone it? 1021 00:55:38,901 --> 00:55:41,670 I'll headphone it. 1022 00:55:45,408 --> 00:55:47,710 -Oh, hey, man. 1023 00:55:49,079 --> 00:55:51,647 -Dropped your shit. 1024 00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:14,370 -Wow. Cleaning. 1025 00:56:14,370 --> 00:56:17,239 -I'm having a friend come visit. 1026 00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:20,376 -We're having a friend come? -Uh, from Canada. 1027 00:56:20,376 --> 00:56:22,511 I told her she could stay here, so... 1028 00:56:22,511 --> 00:56:27,116 You know, she's going to come in just a little while. 1029 00:56:27,116 --> 00:56:30,185 -From Canada. -Yep. 1030 00:56:30,185 --> 00:56:33,021 -You need me to leave for a while or... 1031 00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:38,460 -Yeah, or... 1032 00:56:38,460 --> 00:56:40,696 Yeah. 1033 00:56:42,565 --> 00:56:44,933 -You need me to move out? 1034 00:56:44,933 --> 00:56:46,635 -I think. 1035 00:56:46,635 --> 00:56:47,355 Maybe. 1036 00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:50,490 Yeah. 1037 00:56:53,144 --> 00:56:55,043 -Oh, that's cool. 1038 00:56:55,043 --> 00:56:57,446 That's cool, I get it. 1039 00:56:57,446 --> 00:56:59,782 All right, yeah. You've been... 1040 00:56:59,782 --> 00:57:04,586 Very generous... Letting me stay here this long. 1041 00:57:04,586 --> 00:57:07,823 Uh... Thank your parents for me. 1042 00:57:07,823 --> 00:57:11,293 I'm gonna go...Get packing. 1043 00:57:11,293 --> 00:57:17,166 -You're still welcome to swing by and hang if you want. 1044 00:57:17,166 --> 00:57:21,003 -Well, I have no one else, so... 1045 00:57:22,238 --> 00:57:25,207 -Do you want me to make some home-made ice cream? 1046 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:13,789 -Sea lion war! 1047 00:58:13,789 --> 00:58:15,324 Sometimes they go at it all night. 1048 00:58:15,324 --> 00:58:18,160 I just lay here listening. 1049 00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:21,363 Arf, arf! Arf, arf! 1050 00:58:21,363 --> 00:58:24,633 I love it! This is my pbs! 1051 00:58:26,469 --> 00:58:29,304 Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf! 1052 00:58:29,304 --> 00:58:31,707 I love it! 1053 00:58:46,089 --> 00:58:48,524 -So I've never really worked with butt plugs before. 1054 00:58:48,524 --> 00:58:50,192 Is there anything I should know? 1055 00:58:50,192 --> 00:58:52,361 -We pride ourselves on being a safe zone 1056 00:58:52,361 --> 00:58:55,364 for people to explore and express their sexuality. 1057 00:58:55,364 --> 00:58:57,232 What we don't want is those dirty raincoat-ers 1058 00:58:57,232 --> 00:58:59,701 coming in, looking at our boxes for an hour, 1059 00:58:59,701 --> 00:59:02,337 and then going to jerk it in the alleyway. 1060 00:59:02,337 --> 00:59:04,873 -So my job is to keep browsing and masturbating to a minimum. 1061 00:59:04,873 --> 00:59:07,342 -Shit, those have been recalled. 1062 00:59:07,342 --> 00:59:09,611 -So how long you been working here? 1063 00:59:09,611 --> 00:59:11,880 -About a year. But it's not like I'm gonna move up. 1064 00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:15,250 I've already hit the glass ceiling. 1065 00:59:15,250 --> 00:59:18,654 -You mean the mirrored ceiling. 1066 00:59:24,361 --> 00:59:26,461 -Oh, you got it. 1067 00:59:26,461 --> 00:59:29,264 -You are bad! I gotta watch out for you. 1068 00:59:29,264 --> 00:59:30,933 So bad. 1069 00:59:30,933 --> 00:59:33,235 -Bet you get hit on relentlessly at a place like this. 1070 00:59:33,235 --> 00:59:35,804 -Yeah, but no one ever takes me seriously. 1071 00:59:35,804 --> 00:59:39,474 But it's not like I'm looking for anything serious, so... 1072 00:59:39,474 --> 00:59:41,710 -Thank you! That's the kind of girl I'd love to go out with. 1073 00:59:45,648 --> 00:59:48,317 -You would love to go out with me? 1074 00:59:48,317 --> 00:59:49,785 -I was just saying. 1075 00:59:49,785 --> 00:59:51,420 -Oh, my gosh, are you serious right now? 1076 00:59:51,420 --> 00:59:53,055 You -- you better not be kidding! 1077 00:59:53,055 --> 00:59:54,623 You're not kidding, right? You're serious, right? 1078 00:59:54,623 --> 00:59:57,459 You're serious?! 1079 00:59:57,459 --> 00:59:59,094 -I mean... 1080 00:59:59,094 --> 01:00:00,495 Would you want to go out with me? 1081 01:00:00,495 --> 01:00:01,997 -Yes! Yeah, I would! 1082 01:00:01,997 --> 01:00:04,132 I do! Yes, I do. Yes. 1083 01:00:04,132 --> 01:00:06,435 You're not kidding, right? 1084 01:00:06,435 --> 01:00:08,737 -I mean, it's probably not wise, 1085 01:00:08,737 --> 01:00:12,507 seeing as, like, you're my boss. 1086 01:00:12,507 --> 01:00:13,507 -Oh. 1087 01:00:15,245 --> 01:00:17,446 Oh. Yeah. 1088 01:00:17,446 --> 01:00:20,749 Yeah, that, yeah. 1089 01:00:21,117 --> 01:00:22,784 -But, like, if you want to. 1090 01:00:22,784 --> 01:00:25,487 -Yes! Oh, my gosh, please! Yes, yes, are you serious? 1091 01:00:25,487 --> 01:00:26,955 I want to go out and drink. 1092 01:00:26,955 --> 01:00:28,123 Oh, I might have to fire you first, though. 1093 01:00:28,123 --> 01:00:29,625 -Huh? -I'm kidding, I won't. 1094 01:00:29,625 --> 01:00:31,460 I'm kidding. But anyway, I don't know. 1095 01:00:31,460 --> 01:00:32,210 So. 1096 01:00:33,530 --> 01:00:34,930 Wow. Okay. 1097 01:00:34,930 --> 01:00:35,930 Yes. 1098 01:00:41,704 --> 01:00:44,306 -Yo, Curtis? 1099 01:00:44,306 --> 01:00:46,541 Knock, knock. 1100 01:00:46,541 --> 01:00:50,045 You would not believe the job i just got. 1101 01:00:52,148 --> 01:00:52,988 Curtis? 1102 01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,687 Curtis? 1103 01:00:58,687 --> 01:01:01,289 -Natalie Simmons is dead. 1104 01:01:02,692 --> 01:01:03,825 -Wait. 1105 01:01:03,825 --> 01:01:06,061 Wait, high school Natalie Simmons? 1106 01:01:06,061 --> 01:01:09,064 The cheerleader with the wonky Isabella rossellini teeth? 1107 01:01:09,064 --> 01:01:12,134 -She was eaten by a bear. 1108 01:01:12,134 --> 01:01:14,836 -Natalie Simmons was eaten by a bear? 1109 01:01:14,836 --> 01:01:17,305 -In shoshone national park. 1110 01:01:17,305 --> 01:01:19,174 It's a statistical improbability, 1111 01:01:19,174 --> 01:01:23,478 yet Natalie Simmons was eaten by a bear. 1112 01:01:23,478 --> 01:01:24,728 -Wow. 1113 01:01:25,849 --> 01:01:29,017 Shit, I really liked her. I liked her teeth. 1114 01:01:29,017 --> 01:01:32,888 -She was right next to Allison in the yearbook. 1115 01:01:32,888 --> 01:01:35,157 -That's a strange coincidence. 1116 01:01:35,157 --> 01:01:38,360 -Death is working its way outward from the "s's," 1117 01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:41,697 and eventually, it's going to get us all. 1118 01:01:41,697 --> 01:01:45,267 You just never know when a bear is gonna pop out and eat you. 1119 01:01:46,602 --> 01:01:49,204 -You could avoid going to places where bears are. 1120 01:01:49,204 --> 01:01:51,173 -The proverbial bear. 1121 01:01:51,173 --> 01:01:55,844 Eaten by the proverbial bear! 1122 01:01:58,182 --> 01:02:00,415 I missed you, too. 1123 01:02:05,221 --> 01:02:08,857 I wonder what Stephanie's up to right now. 1124 01:02:10,226 --> 01:02:12,094 -When's the last time you talked to her? 1125 01:02:12,094 --> 01:02:14,896 -When we saw her at the bar. 1126 01:02:14,896 --> 01:02:16,932 I befouled it, man. 1127 01:02:16,932 --> 01:02:18,366 I totally befouled it. 1128 01:02:18,366 --> 01:02:22,671 -She's probably at home, wondering about you. 1129 01:02:23,439 --> 01:02:25,741 -See these new rossignol super 7s? 1130 01:02:25,741 --> 01:02:28,910 Supposed to cut powder like butter. 1131 01:02:28,910 --> 01:02:31,747 -You're still planning on mount hood? 1132 01:02:31,747 --> 01:02:35,083 It's the only thing i have left to look forward to. 1133 01:02:35,083 --> 01:02:37,986 So...Uh... 1134 01:02:37,986 --> 01:02:41,189 -Unh-unh. No. 1135 01:02:44,794 --> 01:02:50,465 I'll miss you, Natalie Simmons. 1136 01:02:52,935 --> 01:02:55,237 -Yes. -Come on. 1137 01:02:55,237 --> 01:02:58,140 -Ooh. God. -See? 1138 01:02:58,140 --> 01:03:00,142 -Jesus. 1139 01:03:00,142 --> 01:03:03,278 -We're gonna have so much fun. -So much. All the fun. 1140 01:03:03,278 --> 01:03:06,181 -Can dress each other up. -Dress up each other? 1141 01:03:07,818 --> 01:03:10,852 We should probably get some help though, because... 1142 01:03:10,852 --> 01:03:12,087 -Hey, dude. 1143 01:03:16,794 --> 01:03:19,261 -Yes. Hello, I can help you. Can I help you? 1144 01:03:19,261 --> 01:03:22,564 -Um, we were looking to upgrade her vibrator. 1145 01:03:25,768 --> 01:03:27,803 -She currently owns a vibrator. 1146 01:03:27,803 --> 01:03:30,005 Um, do you know, like, what size or do you know what kind? 1147 01:03:30,005 --> 01:03:31,473 -It's a little one. 1148 01:03:31,473 --> 01:03:35,777 It makes like a noise like... Mee! Mee! 1149 01:03:35,777 --> 01:03:37,312 -Right, and it's just not quite getting the job done, right? 1150 01:03:37,312 --> 01:03:39,314 Meee! Meee! 1151 01:03:39,314 --> 01:03:42,284 Isn't quite doing it. And you need this device? 1152 01:03:42,284 --> 01:03:43,985 You can't bring her to completion on your own? 1153 01:03:43,985 --> 01:03:45,620 -Oh, no, it's like a new addition. 1154 01:03:45,620 --> 01:03:46,988 Like, we're... 1155 01:03:46,988 --> 01:03:48,356 When she likes to go down. 1156 01:03:48,356 --> 01:03:50,392 Down...Down there. 1157 01:03:50,392 --> 01:03:53,595 -She -- she goes down for you? 1158 01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:56,631 -Right, like a -- like a blowie. 1159 01:03:56,631 --> 01:03:58,166 -Oh. 1160 01:03:58,166 --> 01:04:00,168 -So you got -- so you got one that goes "meee!" 1161 01:04:00,168 --> 01:04:03,004 And you want to go, like "rah!" Or "errr!" 1162 01:04:03,004 --> 01:04:06,575 While she's...Performing. 1163 01:04:06,575 --> 01:04:08,176 -Yes. -Let me ask you something. 1164 01:04:08,176 --> 01:04:09,578 How long have you two been together? 1165 01:04:09,578 --> 01:04:11,847 -Not important. -Eight years. 1166 01:04:11,847 --> 01:04:15,350 -Eight years. 1167 01:04:15,350 --> 01:04:17,686 Wow! -We recently just took a break, 1168 01:04:17,686 --> 01:04:19,354 and i-i think it really strengthened us. 1169 01:04:19,354 --> 01:04:21,523 -Yeah, made me realize what's important. 1170 01:04:21,523 --> 01:04:25,360 Which is why we are here trying out some fun new toys. 1171 01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:28,330 Anyways, when you have someone like her, you gotta... 1172 01:04:28,330 --> 01:04:30,398 You gotta fight for it. -Absolutely. 1173 01:04:30,398 --> 01:04:32,200 But now you're having trouble sexually satisfying each other, 1174 01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:33,668 so you're here buying a little help. 1175 01:04:33,668 --> 01:04:36,104 Okay, let's see what we can do. Follow me. 1176 01:04:36,104 --> 01:04:38,206 Okay, so I'm guessing from your description 1177 01:04:38,206 --> 01:04:40,275 that this is the bad boy she had before. 1178 01:04:40,275 --> 01:04:42,043 -Wow, yeah, man, that's it. 1179 01:04:42,043 --> 01:04:44,212 -Okay, so let me direct your attention to this bad boy. 1180 01:04:44,212 --> 01:04:47,215 It has all the latest in dildonic technology. 1181 01:04:47,215 --> 01:04:49,384 Variable speeds, you can go from meee!, 1182 01:04:49,384 --> 01:04:51,519 to rah!, to dugga-dugga-dugga-dugga, 1183 01:04:51,519 --> 01:04:54,689 depending on your -- excuse me, her desire for stimulation. 1184 01:04:54,689 --> 01:04:57,959 -Uh...I don't know. 1185 01:04:57,959 --> 01:04:59,728 Babe, I don't know. What do you think? 1186 01:04:59,728 --> 01:05:01,696 It's your orgasm. 1187 01:05:02,765 --> 01:05:05,867 What do you think? 1188 01:05:07,436 --> 01:05:09,571 -I think while you and the guy from "police academy" decide 1189 01:05:09,571 --> 01:05:12,107 which sound effect works best on my clitoris, 1190 01:05:12,107 --> 01:05:14,242 I'm gonna go across the street to chipotle, 1191 01:05:14,242 --> 01:05:17,679 hope that they have alcohol, and go get drunk in my car. 1192 01:05:22,318 --> 01:05:23,785 - "Police academy"? 1193 01:05:23,785 --> 01:05:25,453 -Why don't I show you a couple other things 1194 01:05:25,453 --> 01:05:27,389 I think she might like. Pretty sure I know her type. 1195 01:05:27,389 --> 01:05:29,591 Let's start with some handcuffs. 1196 01:05:29,591 --> 01:05:31,660 -All right, all right. 1197 01:05:33,796 --> 01:05:35,597 -You give him blow jobs? -Hello! 1198 01:05:35,597 --> 01:05:37,465 -Ha! You give him blowies? I thought you don't do that. 1199 01:05:37,465 --> 01:05:40,936 -I don't. It was something special that I did with him. 1200 01:05:40,936 --> 01:05:42,971 -Do you even have lockjaw? 1201 01:05:42,971 --> 01:05:44,439 -That's what made it special. 1202 01:05:44,439 --> 01:05:48,109 I suffered for his pleasure. 1203 01:05:48,109 --> 01:05:51,479 -Oh, god! -It was personal! 1204 01:05:51,479 --> 01:05:54,115 I don't know what you want me to say. 1205 01:05:54,115 --> 01:05:57,118 -I miss you. -It's hard to miss someone 1206 01:05:57,118 --> 01:06:00,588 when you're busy living in the moment. 1207 01:06:00,588 --> 01:06:02,424 Sorry. 1208 01:06:02,424 --> 01:06:04,092 I was trying to be somebody I'm not. 1209 01:06:04,092 --> 01:06:05,460 I like being in a relationship. 1210 01:06:05,460 --> 01:06:08,697 I like being in something that's defined. 1211 01:06:08,697 --> 01:06:12,000 -I'm -- I'm ready for that now. 1212 01:06:12,935 --> 01:06:15,270 Let's do it. Let's do it, I'm ready. Okay? 1213 01:06:15,270 --> 01:06:18,506 -It's so funny how you feel this way after I leave. 1214 01:06:22,445 --> 01:06:25,213 -Sometimes you have to have something and lose it 1215 01:06:25,213 --> 01:06:28,316 in order to understand why you want or need it. 1216 01:06:28,316 --> 01:06:31,119 -And that's how I feel about Josh. 1217 01:06:33,656 --> 01:06:36,024 -Please, just give this another chance. 1218 01:06:36,024 --> 01:06:38,026 I know we have something, okay, 1219 01:06:38,026 --> 01:06:41,663 and you know we have something. 1220 01:06:41,663 --> 01:06:43,331 Please, just give this another chance. 1221 01:06:43,331 --> 01:06:45,166 I-i-i this is gonna be a clean start, okay? 1222 01:06:45,166 --> 01:06:47,168 Let's just -- let's just do -- I'll change the -- 1223 01:06:47,168 --> 01:06:49,237 I'll change the relationship status. I'll accept it. 1224 01:06:49,237 --> 01:06:51,673 We'll -- let's do it. Let's do it your way. 1225 01:06:51,673 --> 01:06:54,075 -Jefferson... 1226 01:06:54,075 --> 01:06:56,511 It's over. 1227 01:06:56,511 --> 01:06:58,213 -Stop it! 1228 01:06:58,213 --> 01:06:59,848 Don't say it's over. 1229 01:06:59,848 --> 01:07:02,083 I am here, and I'm asking you for another chance. 1230 01:07:02,083 --> 01:07:04,686 This does not have to be over. -Jefferson! 1231 01:07:04,686 --> 01:07:06,755 -This can be a clean start. No, this can -- 1232 01:07:06,755 --> 01:07:09,591 -it's over. -No, let's -- 1233 01:07:17,033 --> 01:07:18,967 I love you. 1234 01:07:46,796 --> 01:07:47,516 -Okay. 1235 01:07:51,601 --> 01:07:53,568 -Bye. 1236 01:08:08,919 --> 01:08:10,819 Buddy, hello? 1237 01:08:10,819 --> 01:08:14,456 -These Tibetan monks spend 12 painstaking months 1238 01:08:14,456 --> 01:08:16,925 creating these mandalas with colored sand, 1239 01:08:16,925 --> 01:08:20,995 and I mean one grain at time. 1240 01:08:20,995 --> 01:08:25,100 The lama comes, and he inspects each mandala, 1241 01:08:25,100 --> 01:08:27,102 and he gives his holy nod of approval. 1242 01:08:27,102 --> 01:08:29,737 And then he whisks the sand away, 1243 01:08:29,737 --> 01:08:33,341 just brushes it with a graceful of his hand, 1244 01:08:33,341 --> 01:08:36,811 leaving behind just a smudge of nothingness. 1245 01:08:43,453 --> 01:08:46,921 -Somebody I know was eaten by a bear. 1246 01:08:46,921 --> 01:08:48,790 I'm working at a whack shack, 1247 01:08:48,790 --> 01:08:50,825 and I irrevocably fucked up the one relationship 1248 01:08:50,825 --> 01:08:53,962 I had in my life that actually mattered, 1249 01:08:53,962 --> 01:08:55,430 and you're talking to me 1250 01:08:55,430 --> 01:08:59,000 about the impermanence of sand mandalas? 1251 01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:02,537 -Hey, it's not about the mandalas themselves, 1252 01:09:02,537 --> 01:09:04,873 it's about -- -i know what it's about. 1253 01:09:04,873 --> 01:09:06,708 You're ridiculous. 1254 01:09:06,708 --> 01:09:09,144 You're 50 years old, you live on a boat that you don't own. 1255 01:09:09,144 --> 01:09:11,212 -I know it's an unbelievable life. 1256 01:09:11,212 --> 01:09:14,549 -Unbelievably sad! 1257 01:09:14,549 --> 01:09:17,552 You just gave up, dad. 1258 01:09:18,454 --> 01:09:19,621 -Oh, wow. 1259 01:09:19,621 --> 01:09:20,855 Okay, Jeffy, I get it. 1260 01:09:20,855 --> 01:09:22,323 You know, you have your perspective, 1261 01:09:22,323 --> 01:09:25,860 but I'm over here with mine, and it's cool. 1262 01:09:25,860 --> 01:09:27,729 No one's right, no one's wrong. 1263 01:09:27,729 --> 01:09:30,665 -No, dad, you...Have to... 1264 01:09:30,665 --> 01:09:33,835 Always wrap everything up in some new-age psycho-babble 1265 01:09:33,835 --> 01:09:35,303 self-help doublespeak that no one understands, 1266 01:09:35,303 --> 01:09:38,239 including yourself. 1267 01:09:38,239 --> 01:09:40,808 -I am that. -See?! 1268 01:09:40,808 --> 01:09:43,511 You always say that! "I am that." What is that? 1269 01:09:43,511 --> 01:09:45,547 I-i-it's like y-you think you're empathizing, 1270 01:09:45,547 --> 01:09:47,549 but really what you're doing is invalidating 1271 01:09:47,549 --> 01:09:50,018 anybody's sense of self. 1272 01:09:50,018 --> 01:09:52,253 It's maddening. I'm mad. 1273 01:09:52,253 --> 01:09:54,656 You're fucking high, as usual. 1274 01:09:56,859 --> 01:09:59,227 - I am that. 1275 01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:07,502 -Strange that I feel completely adrift 1276 01:10:07,502 --> 01:10:09,103 in every aspect of my life. 1277 01:10:09,103 --> 01:10:12,440 -Man, you set me up for that one. 1278 01:10:12,440 --> 01:10:15,843 Jeffy, where you going? 1279 01:10:15,843 --> 01:10:18,246 -To not be you. 1280 01:12:07,189 --> 01:12:09,724 -Good night, pappy. 1281 01:12:29,345 --> 01:12:32,547 -Oh, my goodness. 1282 01:12:40,189 --> 01:12:42,824 -I can't believe you're missing my debut. 1283 01:12:42,824 --> 01:12:45,360 -Sorry, man, I just can't go if Stephanie's gonna be there. 1284 01:12:45,360 --> 01:12:47,362 Why would you invite her? 1285 01:12:47,362 --> 01:12:50,698 -I just sent out a mass invite to everyone I know. 1286 01:12:50,698 --> 01:12:53,668 Plus, I thought you guys might get back together, 1287 01:12:53,668 --> 01:12:56,537 so I might have sent her a special e-mail 1288 01:12:56,537 --> 01:12:58,740 asking her to come. 1289 01:12:58,740 --> 01:13:01,442 -Curtis, do me a favor and just don't ever try and help, okay? 1290 01:13:01,442 --> 01:13:03,544 -Don't you think that she's going in hopes 1291 01:13:03,544 --> 01:13:04,846 that you might be there? 1292 01:13:04,846 --> 01:13:06,247 -No, I think she's coming 1293 01:13:06,247 --> 01:13:07,548 because she's a completely decent person 1294 01:13:07,548 --> 01:13:09,050 who wants to support you. 1295 01:13:09,050 --> 01:13:10,918 That's fine, I'll just come to the next one. 1296 01:13:10,918 --> 01:13:12,687 -Mmm. 1297 01:13:12,687 --> 01:13:14,355 One and done, my friend. 1298 01:13:14,355 --> 01:13:16,691 My parents are cutting me off. 1299 01:13:16,691 --> 01:13:19,560 I have to get a real job. 1300 01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:22,096 They were pretty pissed when they found out 1301 01:13:22,096 --> 01:13:26,601 that I was spending my money on dance classes. 1302 01:13:26,601 --> 01:13:29,771 -What about having the soul of an artist and all that? 1303 01:13:29,771 --> 01:13:31,439 -It's cool. 1304 01:13:31,439 --> 01:13:33,274 It's time to grow up. 1305 01:13:33,274 --> 01:13:36,577 Besides, dance classes are kind of silly anyway. 1306 01:13:57,833 --> 01:14:00,168 -Schmancy! 1307 01:14:00,168 --> 01:14:02,637 How can you afford this on what we're paying you? 1308 01:14:02,637 --> 01:14:05,940 -Well, I was actually kind of hoping we'd go Dutch. 1309 01:14:05,940 --> 01:14:07,842 -You're funny. 1310 01:14:07,842 --> 01:14:10,411 That was the first thing i noticed about you. 1311 01:14:10,411 --> 01:14:13,247 You're really...Funny. 1312 01:14:13,247 --> 01:14:16,250 -Ha. I...Was actually only half-joking -- 1313 01:14:16,250 --> 01:14:18,319 Dutch joking, if you will. 1314 01:14:26,495 --> 01:14:29,597 Well, what was the first thing you noticed about me? 1315 01:14:31,667 --> 01:14:33,201 - Your tits. 1316 01:15:00,829 --> 01:15:02,230 Are you okay? 1317 01:15:05,168 --> 01:15:07,301 -I'm...I'm sorry. 1318 01:15:07,301 --> 01:15:09,737 I'm sorry. 1319 01:15:09,737 --> 01:15:14,509 Just guys never take me out on, like, a real date, you know, 1320 01:15:14,509 --> 01:15:20,381 and, I mean, I'm just... I -- 1321 01:15:20,381 --> 01:15:23,084 thank you. 1322 01:15:23,084 --> 01:15:24,284 Thank you. 1323 01:15:26,389 --> 01:15:29,590 -Yeah, yeah, no problem. 1324 01:15:32,828 --> 01:15:36,397 -Shit, fuck, motherfucker! 1325 01:15:40,169 --> 01:15:43,271 - All right! 1326 01:15:43,271 --> 01:15:45,006 All right, yeah, man. Dig it. 1327 01:15:45,006 --> 01:15:47,942 Let's keep it going for x Javier, huh? 1328 01:15:47,942 --> 01:15:50,444 You guys are in for a real treat tonight. 1329 01:15:50,444 --> 01:15:54,382 We've got a first-timer here on our open-Mike stage -- 1330 01:15:54,382 --> 01:15:57,552 Curtis ashante! 1331 01:16:00,289 --> 01:16:02,456 -Thank you. 1332 01:16:05,193 --> 01:16:07,595 Hi, everybody. 1333 01:16:07,595 --> 01:16:14,101 This is my movement poem called "eaten by the proverbial bear." 1334 01:16:19,942 --> 01:16:21,909 -So do you want to make out or something? 1335 01:16:21,909 --> 01:16:23,210 -Mmm. 1336 01:16:23,210 --> 01:16:25,580 I kind of do and I kind of don't. 1337 01:16:25,580 --> 01:16:27,448 -No pressure. 1338 01:16:27,448 --> 01:16:31,252 Just so you know, I'm -- I'm open to it. 1339 01:16:31,252 --> 01:16:32,820 -My best friend's having a show right now 1340 01:16:32,820 --> 01:16:37,058 and I'm missing it because there's this girl, and... 1341 01:16:37,058 --> 01:16:38,793 We were friends, and we were more than friends, 1342 01:16:38,793 --> 01:16:41,796 and anyway, she's going, so I'm not. 1343 01:16:41,796 --> 01:16:44,632 -You're missing your best friend's show because of a girl? 1344 01:16:44,632 --> 01:16:46,167 -Yeah. 1345 01:16:46,167 --> 01:16:47,568 -That's so shitty. 1346 01:16:47,568 --> 01:16:49,670 -I know. 1347 01:16:49,670 --> 01:16:51,606 -But, I mean, if we're not gonna make out, 1348 01:16:51,606 --> 01:16:54,408 I mean, what do you want to do, because I made up this new rule, 1349 01:16:54,408 --> 01:16:56,477 no sex before kissing first. 1350 01:16:56,477 --> 01:16:58,813 -Fuck, what am I doing? -That's what I was saying! 1351 01:16:58,813 --> 01:17:01,015 That's why I made up this new rule. 1352 01:17:01,015 --> 01:17:03,117 -You wouldn't want to go see my friend's solo dance performance 1353 01:17:03,117 --> 01:17:05,586 that he choreographed himself at a local dive bar, would you? 1354 01:17:05,586 --> 01:17:07,288 -Yeah. -Really? 1355 01:17:07,288 --> 01:17:09,090 -Yeah. -Thank you. 1356 01:17:09,090 --> 01:17:12,126 -Mm-hmm. And, I mean, if you want to make out after, I can. 1357 01:17:12,126 --> 01:17:14,528 I pretty much make out with anybody. 1358 01:17:36,119 --> 01:17:37,718 -I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick, okay? 1359 01:19:39,274 --> 01:19:41,275 -Your local ski report is brought to you 1360 01:19:41,275 --> 01:19:43,244 by big sky tires. 1361 01:19:43,244 --> 01:19:46,413 -On mount hood, no new snow in the last 24 hours. 1362 01:19:46,413 --> 01:19:47,848 Timberline is operating seven chairs 1363 01:19:47,848 --> 01:19:49,316 with a 36-inch base. 1364 01:19:49,316 --> 01:19:51,185 Meadows is reporting a 32-inch base 1365 01:19:51,185 --> 01:19:53,120 with 9 of the 14 lifts running. 1366 01:19:53,120 --> 01:19:55,022 And with a 28-inch base, 1367 01:19:55,022 --> 01:19:56,757 skibowl has seven of their chairs making the trip 1368 01:19:56,757 --> 01:19:58,659 for the first time this season. 1369 01:19:58,659 --> 01:20:00,694 The weather will be clear and warm with snow-free roads 1370 01:20:00,694 --> 01:20:02,363 all the way up to the lodges. 1371 01:20:02,363 --> 01:20:03,998 So grab a friend and head up to the mountain 1372 01:20:03,998 --> 01:20:05,966 for a great day of skiing. 1373 01:20:05,966 --> 01:20:08,269 -And, of course, as always, when you make that trip, 1374 01:20:08,269 --> 01:20:10,437 make sure you make it on big sky tires, 1375 01:20:10,437 --> 01:20:13,007 the all-weather tire that gives you peace of mind 1376 01:20:13,007 --> 01:20:14,775 every time you drive. 1377 01:20:55,684 --> 01:20:57,651 -Yeah, I mean, i do like the beach a lot. 1378 01:20:57,651 --> 01:21:01,088 I like living near the water's always one of those things 1379 01:21:01,088 --> 01:21:02,890 that is like a must. 1380 01:21:02,890 --> 01:21:06,594 You know, that's why, you know, I couldn't, like... 1381 01:21:06,594 --> 01:21:09,029 Hey. -Hey. 1382 01:21:09,029 --> 01:21:13,100 -What are you doing back? -I came here to give you this. 1383 01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:16,871 -What is this? -It's dance classes. 1384 01:21:16,871 --> 01:21:19,039 Don't say anything, just take it. 1385 01:21:19,039 --> 01:21:22,209 -You are my friend. 1386 01:21:22,209 --> 01:21:23,377 -Oh! Okay. 1387 01:21:23,377 --> 01:21:27,047 I...I am that. 1388 01:21:27,047 --> 01:21:28,415 -Oh, where are my manners? 1389 01:21:28,415 --> 01:21:30,918 This is my friend, Chloe, from Canada. 1390 01:21:30,918 --> 01:21:33,554 -Chloe from Canada. 1391 01:21:33,554 --> 01:21:37,124 -And this is my friend, Gloria. 1392 01:21:37,124 --> 01:21:39,526 -Hi. Sorry, I was trying to get a drink. 1393 01:21:39,526 --> 01:21:41,128 That bartender hates me. 1394 01:21:41,128 --> 01:21:43,397 -Did you ask him. -Ask me what? 1395 01:21:43,397 --> 01:21:45,366 -Okay, you have to settle this for us. 1396 01:21:45,366 --> 01:21:46,934 They're trying to say that Godzilla is a female, 1397 01:21:46,934 --> 01:21:49,436 but there's no way. -There's totally a way. 1398 01:21:49,436 --> 01:21:52,072 -Okay, it has a kid in "Godzilla's revenge," but -- 1399 01:21:52,072 --> 01:21:54,275 -that hardly qualifies as a movie. 1400 01:21:54,275 --> 01:21:56,710 -Exactly. Thank you. 1401 01:21:59,881 --> 01:22:00,881 -Ha. 1402 01:22:02,051 --> 01:22:04,485 Let me, uh, buy you a drink. -Yeah. 1403 01:22:04,485 --> 01:22:08,055 -Yeah. Um, okay, question, Godzilla versus king Kong? 1404 01:22:08,055 --> 01:22:09,757 -King Kong. 1405 01:22:09,757 --> 01:22:11,292 -Yes! 101599