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(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

(KIDS BOOING)

KID 1: Hey, four-eyes!
KID 2: Loser!

JORDAN: Allow me
to introduce myself.

KID 3: Get off the stage!

JORDAN: That's me,
Jordan Sanders.

Well, actually,
this is me now.

I know. I get it.

Big change, right?

But that was me in 1993,

the day I decided to show

everyone at
Windsor Middle School

what I did best.

The laws of science.

They're actually true.
I can trust them.

I can rely on them.

Who cares?
(LAUGHTER)

JORDAN: There she is.
You know her.

The person who just can't
let you live your best life.

Prepare to behold
a death-defying feat!

(LAUGHTER)

I trust the conservation
of mechanical energy 100%.

So much, in fact, that I am willing
to risk my very life to demonstrate.

Boo!

(KIDS BOOING)

(YOUNG JORDAN CLEARS THROAT)

Because this ball should not be
able to pass this very spot again.

Go!

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

(ALL GASPING)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

JORDAN: Now, this should have
been my moment of victory.

And for seven
glorious seconds,

I was on top of the world.

(GRUNTS)

But then, just like that,
it was over.

(KIDS LAUGHING)

Ow. Ow, ow, ow...
JORDAN: Something changed.

Little did I know,
that something would be me.

Jordan, I know you had
big plans to go out there

and show those kids
how awesome you really are,

so they wouldn't be so hard
on you at school every day.

Being me sucks.

I want to be someone else.
(JORDAN'S MOM SIGHS)

JORDAN'S DAD: I know
it's hard right now,

but that's just because
you're little.

When you grow up,
it won't be like this.

It won't?
JORDAN'S DAD: Nope.

Because you're smart.
Yes!

I am smart, aren't I?

JORDAN'S DAD: And do you know what
happens to smart people when they're big?

They become the boss.

Really?
Really.

And nobody, and I mean nobody,
bullies the boss.

Well, then I can't wait
to be big,

so I can be the boss
and no one will bully me.

That's my girl.

Because I'll bully them first.

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

(ELECTRONIC CHIMING)

HOMEGIRL: Jordan,
it's time to wake up

and live your dreams.

Jordan.

I said, wake up, girl.
(GROANING)

Let's get this shmoney,
okay?

(MOANS)

(GASPS)

HomeGirl, call April.

HOMEGIRL: Take a woosah, girl.

Fact, April Williams
is your assistant.

"Assist" is
in the job title.

Calling April.

(ELECTRONIC CHIMES)

MAN ON AUDIOBOOK:
So you want to slap your boss.

You're not alone.

We all have stress triggers.

People who are vampires,
bloodsuckers,

just plain evil.

(CELL PHONE RINGING) AUTOMATED VOICE:
Jordan Sanders calling.

Jordan Sanders calling.

Jordan Sanders calling.

Jordan Sanders calling.

Hello.

Are you awake?

(NERVOUSLY) Yeah, I'm awake.
I was just meditating.

Wake up!

Be awake when I call!

But I don't know
when you're gonna call,

so when would I sleep?

When I'm not calling.

April, listen to me.

I'm sad this morning.

Oh... Why?

I have asked you 1,000 times to
have my housekeeper, Elaine...

Linda is her name. Linda.

...put my slippers 53
centimeters away from the bed,

so, when I hop out,
my feet can land on them.

I mean,
am I being unreasonable?

(QUIETLY) Yes, bitch!

Is that too much to ask?

No, it's not
unreasonable at all.

JORDAN: Damn right,
it's not too much.

I can't be any kinder
to you, April.

Why are you not at work?

I don't need
a stay-at-home assistant.

I'm on my way.

I'm on my way right now.
JORDAN: Go!

(UPTEMPO HIP-HOP
MUSIC PLAYING)

Keep your eye
on this.

APRIL: Hey, Tony.

Hey, April.
Can I get a raspberry jelly?

And you can just put a line of sprinkles out,
and I'll snort them.

(CHUCKLES)

Take it the boss lady's
on the warpath this morning.

Every morning.

Focus.
All right.

Stevie didn't go
to school today?

Yeah, I gave her
the day off.

Those bullies
just won't let up.

I can relate.

Hey, April.

Hey.

Want to see a magic trick?

Yes.

I'm gonna take this penny
and turn it into a quarter.

Can you get
my paycheck next?

STEVIE: Ah, Jesus.

Ta-da!

(CHUCKLES) Wow.
That was magical.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Thank you.

It's like she senses
my happiness.

Yes, Jordan?

Did you call Amex and schedule
my call? I need to have it...

(MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)
(DISH RATTLING)

HomeGirl, end call.

HOMEGIRL: Mmm-hmm. I got you.

"Good morning, Trevor."
Oh, good morning, Jordan.

What are you still doing here?

I overslept. Forgive me.

You always have an excuse.

Why you always got your guard up, huh?
Have I ever hurt you?

No, you haven't
because my guard is always up.

Why do we have this discussion
back and forth?

I should've known
what you was about.

You got my name as D Boy
in your contacts.

Yes, I saw that.

D is...

It's DeAndre,
which is French for Trevor.

You know what?
I don't have to explain myself. What? Jordan.

Why were you going through my
contacts in the first place?

Come on. What? "DeAndre"?
You have to go.

No, no, no. I'm not... Oh, my...
Are you serious right now?

What?
You strong, ain't you?

Come on, Jordan. I'm just trying to
get you to open up to me, all right?

Come on.
I have a company to run.

You... You can run me.
Come on. You know how we do.

(ELEVATOR DINGS)
Come on. You get it. You know.

(SINGING) I'm tryin' to
put you to bed, bed, bed

I'm tryin' to
put you to bed

Yeah!

Bed, bed

Give it to me now.
Come on! No! No!

No!
Wow.

Oh, wait.
I need my key back.

What? Uh... I can't hear you.
That was for one night!

What did you say?
What? What? D Boy!

Did you have to do all that sex
stuff in front of my child?

Oh, please.
He just popped out of you.

I am sure he knows
the territory down there.

She's four.

Oh!

He's transitioning.

Well, good luck,
little fellow.

I like you.
Now, your momma's a different story.

(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

If you need a drink,
come over here, little man.

I got you.

HomeGirl, play Put Me to Bed.

HOMEGIRL: You removed all love
songs from your playlist.

Right. No softening.

I tried to tell you.

HomeGirl is playing yourjam.

(UPBEAT HIP-HOP MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)

(EXHALES) Perfect.

Excuse me.

(GRUNTS)
(THUDS)

Oh.

Back! The usual.

Thank you.

And don't hate
the player, y'all.

Hate your little
broke-ass game.

Have a cheap day.

VINCE: Oh.
Good morning, ma'am.

How would you know?

(JORDAN GASPS)

Oh!
(SHATTERS)

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

Beat it, boys!
This ain't the hood.

(GASPS)

Vince, you read my lips.
VINCE: Okay.

If you see Lil Weezy or any other
delinquents near my baby again,

you better body slam them,
or I'm gonna body slam you.

(STAMMERS) Yes, ma'am.

And then I'm going to get you fired.
VINCE: Yes, ma'am.

I would hate
for that day to come.

(ENGINE REVS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)
(HORNS BLARING)

(CHUCKLING)

(ACCELERATING)

APRIL: (ON PHONE) Hi, Jordan.

Did my new seat cushions
arrive yet?

Not yet.

Clearly, you don't care
if my ass is in pain.

Of course,
I care about your ass.

You wouldn't happen to be shoving
a donut into your face, would you?

Goodbye.
Huh?

APRIL: Oh.

Oh, my God. Are you okay?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
So sorry.

April, I am so sorry.
I'm sorry. No, it's my fault.

Is your donut okay?

Oh, it'll survive.

All right. (CHUCKLES)

I got your sugar all over me.
(CHUCKLES)

Wow, that looks
so good on you.

Huh?
Huh?

I thought you said something.
No, uh...

So wait. So are you gonna pitch
your idea to Jordan today?

Yeah! Today is the day!
(CHUCKLES) Yeah? Yeah.

But tomorrow's
also good, too, I heard.

No, no, wait.

April, you've been saying
"tomorrow" for like months now.

DiscoverEyes is great.

Yeah, you gotta go for it.

Hey.

You got this!

Okay.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

You got this.
Yay. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, wait. That's a step.
I got it. I'm good.

(LAUGHS)

And you can get this.

I'm sorry. You say something?
Huh? No, no, no.

Jordan, yeah, you can get
the product, the apps...

(APRIL GRUNTS)

Not gonna catch me slipping.
(THERMOMETER BEEPS)

Mr. Connor.

May I help you?

I am waiting on Jordan.

Oh, um...

Would you like to wait
in our lovely lobby?

Nope. She's fine with me
chilling in here.

Um...
Cool, cool.

Oh. Of course.

She is gonna love that you're sitting
at her desk with your feet up.

I'm just gonna go get her.

She's here!
Take cover, everyone!

(HURRIED CHATTER)

I'm sorry. Good morning.
Yes, you are.

So, Connor...
Shh.

(LIVELY CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

STEVIE: Thank you!

Why are y'all out here congregating
like you're in the yard?

MAN: Sorry, ma'am. Sorry.

JORDAN: That's not what
I'm paying you for!

Can I interest you
in some magic?

There is no such thing
as magic.

Well, what about
Black Girl Magic?

You're a black girl
fire hazard.

Now go and disappear.

STEVIE: What? (SCOFFS)

Happy birthday!

Call the city
and get JS Innovations

off that dumpy donut truck's
delivery route.

Of course...
Ahhh!

Who did this?

I told you guys,
no carbs around me!

Oh... Uh...

Um...

Your biggest client
is in your office.

Connor?

How did he get
up there, April?

You know you're not supposed
to speak directly to him.

I didn't.

He was already there when I got there.
And I tried to tell him...

Shh.

There she is.

Connor the Incredible.
What a pleasant surprise.

Please, stay seated
with your feet on my desk.

It's actually fine.

They gotta be on the desk.

Up top.

(EXHALES)

Well, what can I do for you?

I am bouncing
to another firm.

What?

No. No.

Connor, you can't jump.
You're my biggest client.

That's why I wanted to give
you the heads-up in person.

Wait a minute.
Where is this coming from?

We just want a fresh voice
to bring in new tech ideas.

Listen, my next product,
it's still in beta testing,

but I promise you, HomeGirl,
it's gonna be big.

It's more than
a virtual assistant.

It is a virtual assistant
if she were your homegirl.

It's just not for us.

All right.

Story time, JoJo.

Oh, not again.

CONNOR: When I was a kid,

I lived a hard-knock life.

Mmm-hmm.

Anyway, I started
getting into tech,

and, one day,
I had to come to my dad

and ask for a $10 million loan
to start my company.

He's like, "What?

"When you start a company,
you don't get $10 million.

"I'll give you $5 million."

And that hurt...
Wow.

...'cause I was expecting 10.

I had budgeted
for $10 million.

Mmm.

So I go to Grandmother
and Grandfather.

And I'm like, "Can you invest more
millions of dollars in my company?"

My grandfather's like, "What?
I don't know what this is."

No.

That was hard,
but he gave it to me.

And then, finally, I sell
the company for $400 million.

So that's my struggle.

That's how I came up.

I felt that. I do.

I mean, you could
give me a chance

like Grandmother
and Grandfather gave you.

And just... Just...

Take that leap of faith,

and, and, and...
(CONTINUES STUTTERING)

Look, JoJo.
And, and...

Okay, I'm meeting
with another firm

to talk about new
gaming app ideas on Friday.

I'm sorry.

Wait, wait, wait.
Connor.

Please just give me a chance
before you make any rash moves.

(GROANS)

All right, fine.
Forty-eight hours.

Cool?
Yes.

I will take it. Thank you.

And I promise
fresh voices coming at you.

Also, do you know
you have, like,

three dinner napkins
on your back?

I didn't know if that was a choice
or if you leaned on something or...

JORDAN: No, it's fashion.
It's fashion.

CONNOR: Oh. You got one shot, JoJo.
Don't blow it.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
JORDAN: All right, people.

Settle down.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Oh!

Apparently it's lunch,
since Scott wants to eat during our meeting.

Okay.

(EXHALES FORCEFULLY)

There you go.

Take a bite.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

We don't have
all day, Scott.

Eat.

(INHALES)

Yummy.

Anybody else hungry?

No. I just had salad.
I'm fasting.

JORDAN: All right.

Connor wants
a new gaming app,

the best thing
we've ever come up with,

and we're gonna
give it to him.

It needs to be big.

It needs to make noise.

When you say "make noise," do you mean,
like, literally make noise,

like the app makes noise,
or is it just a...

PRESTON: Okay.

I get it.

I know that face.

We've got 48 hours
to save our asses.

So let's go.
(WHISPERS) Go.

(MOUTHING)
JORDAN: Impress me, people.

SCOTT: Um...

An app like Tinder,

but, instead of matching
people for dates,

you match with people
for dating advice, uh,

and then analyze
why all your dates went bad.

So, like Tinder,
but sad.

Like how your parents felt
the day you were born.

Next!
Okay.

Um, a crossword puzzle app
for news junkies.

So like a crossword puzzle
that makes you angry?

Exactly how I'm feeling
right now

when you come up...

(SHATTERING)
WOMAN: Ow!

...with those ding-dong, ding-dong bad ideas!
(GRUNTING SOFTLY)

(HIGH-PITCHED) I think I have
a pretty interesting idea.

(NORMAL TONE)
What? You do, April?

I don't even sound like that.

What's going on?

Nothing.

What?

I didn't say anything.

Somebody said something.

(SCOFFS)
Y'all need to be quiet.

We're having a meeting up here
about important stuff. Shh!

PRESTON: Sorry about that.

So you have nothing?

You have nothing?

Wow.

Nothing.

She didn't say anything.

He thought
he heard something.

Y'all ain't
said nothing.

Connor is out the door
unless we crack this.

And in case I wasn't clear,

if Connor is out the door,
all of you are out.

Bye-bye, healthcare,
which you know you need.

Bye-bye, ping-pong table.

Bye-bye,
ergonomic chair.

Which...

Dang.

(CRASHING)

(WHIMPERING QUIETLY)

You better stop
quivering that lip.

You better not cry.
(WHISPERS) Stop crying.

JORDAN: This isn't
about you, Melissa.

Are there no more ideas?

Fine.

Once again, I will have to
figure it out myself.

Go. Go!

I can't look
at you anymore.

I have an idea for a new app.

Are you asking me
or telling me?

I'm telling you.

I'm telling you that I have
an idea for a new app.

It's called DiscoverEyes,
and I...

No.

I don't take pitches
from assistants.

It's just...

I've been here
for three years,

and you promised room
for growth and...

So I owe you
a promotion?

No, no.
That's not what I'm saying.

I know this is
a terrible time,

but I really think
I could help this company

if you just gave me a chance
like someone gave you a chance.

Let me explain something
to you, Miss April.

Nobody gave me anything.

I saw an opportunity.
I took it, and I ran with it.

And you know what?
I'm still running. Every single day.

You know how many times I had to
pitch my first idea before I sold it?

Seventeen.

And I sure as hell didn't
take no for an answer.

Wait, so does that mean
you'll hear my pitch?

No.

You know what it is?
I'm a taker.

You're not.

So just concentrate
on being my assistant

and try being good
at that first.

You can't talk
to April that way.

Who let the fire hazard
in here?

She's just
making deliveries.

Come on, Stevie.
Let's go.

Were you always
this way?

Was I always what way?

Mean.
No.

Actually, I used to be just like you
when I was little, and you know what?

People treated me
like crap.

Then what happened?

I got big,
and I got rich.

So now who's gonna
check me, boo?

Well... Well...

"Well... Well..."

Well, you ain't ready
to play with the grown-ups.

So go ahead
with your little self.

I wish you were my age.
Then I'd check you.

Everybody who you're awful to
would check you too, boo.

Well, I wish your little
cartoon dog would bite you.

I wish you were little.

What was that?

What was what?
JORDAN: What was...

(GASPING)

Get out. Get out.
Get that little chocolate Hogwart out!

Are you okay?
'Cause you don't look so good.

No,
you don't look good.

No,
you don't look good.

That's what happens
when people don't eat carbs.

They start seeing Satan.

Move!

Go back to work! Work!

Work!

HOMEGIRL: Morning inspiration.

It is better to have money
and be broken-hearted

than be broke
and broken-hearted.

Let's wake up
and get this money.

(YAWNS)

(SIGHS)

Mmm, I need coffee.

I told you, watch it.

(YELPS)

(CHUCKLES)

(GASPS ANGRILY)

I swear to God,
when I see you again,

I will whoop your butt.

Argh, I'm not the one.

(GROANS)

The usual.

What's your usual?

(SCOFFS) You're playing
with me, right?

(SIGHS)

Here. Does that help
you remember?

Triple espresso with foam!

You know,
too much caffeine stunts your growth.

First of all, shut up.

(PEOPLE EXCLAIM)
And second of all,

does all this body look like
my growth has been stunted?

Depends. How old are you?
Thirty-eight.

(PEOPLE CHUCKLE) Well, then, yes.
Yes, it does.

(LAUGHTER)

(GASPS)

What the...

Oh, my God.

I need to go to the hospital.

(LAUGHTER)

(CAR LOCK BEEPS)
Security!

A homeless kid
is trying to carjack!

Who's missing
a bag?

No! Back off!
No one is touching this bag.

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS)
Step away from the car.

It's me, Jordan.
This is my car.

I'm not losing
my job over this!

(SCREAMS)
(THUDS)

(GRUNTS)
Ha!

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

(GRUNTS)

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

Hey, little girl.
Who are your parents?

Um...

Jordan Sanders is my mom.

Uh-uh.
Jordan doesn't have a child.

Well, she keeps me hidden.

Just, please,
don't tell anyone you saw me.

You poor child.

That woman is even more
horrible than I thought.

She is not horrible.

She just has
a very demanding lifestyle

that might be giving her
a nervous breakdown.

Hello? Hello, Child Services?

Stop.

Stop talking like that.

How do you know what I'm gonna

say?

Where are my natural
tear-drop boobs?

I paid 15 G's
for those things.

Why? Why did you change?

This can't be happening.

(SIGHS)

Okay.

No.

Not this girl.

Jordan, it's me.

(SIGHS)

I got all 15 of your messages.

Aw, aren't you cute?

(CHUCKLES) Are you
related to Jordan?

So you see her, too?

See who?

The little girl.

Where's Jordan?

Jordan?

Do you really want to know?

Yeah.

(WHISPERS) She's inside me.

(WHISPERS) So you ate her?

Is that what happened?

Did you cook her in your little
Easy-Bake Oven? (CHUCKLES)

Jordan, hey, I'm here.

Where are you?

I got your dry cleaning.

(SCOFFS)

You did not pay me to babysit.

I'm just gonna call her.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

She would never give
her phone to a child.

You got that right.

I don't know what you did
or how you did it,

but you did something to Jordan,
you crazy little Chucky doll.

I'm calling the cops.

Um...

You had a strawberry donut
stain on your shirt yesterday.

What the hell?

One night, we were
brainstorming a dating app,

and you were telling me the lamest
story about how you lost your virginity

in the back of
your mom's Dodge Ram van.

But you told your college
sweetheart that he was your first.

You lying thot.

What in the black Jesus?

This doesn't make any sense.

You went to bed grown,
and then you woke up...

Little.

But that's for white people,
'cause black people don't have the time.

I know.

What happened?

I can't even think
of what could possibly...

No, no, no.
I mean, how did you go from this to this?

(SIGHS)

I have never seen a better glow-up.
April.

Can you help me
and figure this out?

No, you're right.

Sorry. Let me just focus.

Think. (SIGHS)

I got it.
What?

Gucci Mane.

He's had a better glow-up
than you.

I mean, he's happy. He's healthy.
He's got a six-pack.

He has a really nice smile.
I don't know if those are veneers,

but people say we smile alike...
April!

Can you help me?

(SIGHS)

Mmm-mmm,
I don't like that.

What?

I like kids to have
old-school manners, so...

I'm not a child.

Mmm...

Okay.

(SIGHS)

Please help me.

"Please help me,
Miss April, ma'am."

Are you kidding me?

Nope.

(SIGHS)

Please help me,

Miss April, ma'am.

Okay, child.

Okay. Um...

Well, try
Benjamin Button syndrome.

No. That's when
you're born old

and then you age backwards
until you're a baby again.

Oh. Well, my bad.

I must have gotten my magical
body curses mixed up. (SCOFFS)

Wait a minute.

What?
That's it.

That girl...

The fire hazard
from the donut truck.

She was waving that dumb wand
and wished I was little.

Yeah, wishes don't come true.

'Cause if they did,
I'd be on maternity leave

with Michael B. Jordan's baby by now.
(SIGHS)

Okay. So you're gonna go to the office,
stop by the truck, kidnap her,

and bring her back
to me, okay?

I have some duct tape.

We'll just starve her
till she reverses this. Yeah.

Okay, or we could just ask her to use
her toy wand to make another wish

'cause that's
way less felony-ish.

LITTLE JORDAN: Just...

What are you doing?
What?

I need a glass of rosé.
It's too early for tequila shots.

You're too young to drink.

Relax. Just a couple of sips
to take the edge off.

"Female Gary Coleman disease."

He died?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(SIGHS)

Nosy neighbor.

I swear to God,
you're gonna learn today.

What?

Child Protective Services.
Are your parents or legal guardians home?

Oh. Um... (CLEARS THROAT)

April!

Sorry.

What you got there?
Nice rosé?

So who's in charge?

Me.
Me.

I have that Jordan Sanders is listed
as the owner of this apartment.

Correct. Paid in full.

Okur.

You told me your name
is Jordan Sanders.

I did.

Well, the other Jordan,
the owner,

he's, uh, my brother.

Yeah.
My dad. I'm a junior.

Yeah, 'cause women
can be juniors, too.

And where is
your father now?

Mmm. My, um, father.
That is a good question.

Auntie?

Where's Daddy?

You know exactly where he is.

Um...
APRIL: He's, um...

Overseas.
Space.

Uh, in a space overseas.
LITTLE JORDAN: Mmm-hmm.

Space Force.

Got it.
And your mother is where?

She's a crackhead.

Yeah, Jordan is a crack baby.
It's so sad.

That's why she's so hyper
all the time.

Oh, yeah.

Let me just document this.
Aunt and crack baby.

No, no, no.

But this is just temporary because
she's going back to her dad soon.

Mmm-hmm, very soon.

Back where?

Home.

In Hawaii with my brother.

That's
President Barack Obama.

Hmm, no, that's my brother.
(LAUGHS)

They just think
we all look alike.

Same dog and everything.
Okay.

Uh, and could you please tell me why
you aren't in school today, hmm?

School? (SCOFFS)

Girl, bye. I haven't been
to school in, like, years.

Nope, that's not
what she meant.

That's not what
you meant, right?

Oh, yeah, that's not what I meant.
Joking. Mmm.

Okay, good, because any parent
or guardian of a child

during the ages
of mandatory attendance

shall send such child
to public school,

private school,
or a homeschooling program.

Furthermore, any parent or guardian
who violates this code section

shall be subject to fine,
imprisonment, community service,

or any combination of such
penalties as the court sees fit.

Say what now?

"Say what now" is enroll
this child in school,

or somebody is going to jail.
That's what now. Say what.

By "somebody," do you mean...

You. That would be you.

Now, the school district

which Jordan would be
assigned to would be...

Ah. Windsor Middle School.

Windsor?
Mmm-hmm.

Oh, hell no.
Yes.

Hell yes. (LAUGHS)

We love that school.

Enroll her there today,
and I will be checking that you do so.

No. (CLEARS THROAT)
Look here, lady.

I am a businesswoman,
and I have a company to run.

She sells
Girl Scout cookies.

She just takes it really
seriously. I'm like...

So I don't have time
for Child Services,

and I sure don't have time
for school. Okay?

Let me be clear.
I will have you in foster care

and your goofy aunt over here
in jail if you don't. Okur?

Yes. Okay. Yes.

No problem.

Excellent.

Now, if you don't mind,
I'm just gonna get a video

of you two together.
Are you gonna post this?

And this apartment,
because I like the evidence.

I can't go to school.

I'm not going to jail.

(SIGHS) I can't believe
I have to say this.

You're gonna have to be me
in the office.

They're not gonna listen to me.
I'm like the homie.

You have to
make them listen.

I'll be on the phone
in your ear,

so don't say anything
I don't tell you to say.

Don't do anything
I don't tell you to do.

So you're still in charge?

Always.

Just keep everyone focused
on fresh ideas,

or else
the whole company is over.

That just really
makes me uncomfortable.

Oh.

But do you know
what else is uncomfortable?

Unemployment.

Okay.

I will agree to cover for you
at the office

if you agree to promote me
to creative exec.

What'd you just say?

I said, um,
for you to promote me to creative exec.

Well, look whose balls
just dropped.

I gotta take what I want.

Isn't that what you said?
Maybe.

So, deal?

Deal.

Yes!

(SIGHS)

You know,
since I have to be you,

I should probably
dress the part

and borrow
some of your clothes.

Your body can't fit
into my clothes.

This is squats.

This is Pilates.

That body
looks like BabyGap,

Gymboree,

OshKosh B'gosh to me.
(CHUCKLES)

Oh, you get on my nerves.

Fine.
Yes!

LITTLE JORDAN:
This is ridiculous.

Let me
get this straight,

you went to Target,
and you got me this?

Tarjay.

The overalls is what I got.
The shirt is mine.

I look great.

Looking like Cookie
from Empire.

April.

Uh, you know this kid?
APRIL: Oh, hey, Vince.

You know how Jordan always
asks me to do everything?

Yeah.

Well, this is her niece.

Yeah, I'm watching her
while she's out of town.

Oh! (CHUCKLES)
That explains it.

Yeah, we had a little confusion
with her yesterday...

Uh, did you guys,
call a Lyft?

No. I got my keys.
No.

Actually,
Jordan left these for me.

Yeah. It was part of our agreement.
(CHUCKLES)

I don't think
Auntie said that.

Now, stay out of
grown folks' business.

Give me the keys
I let you play with.

(LAUGHS)
She's so funny.

(CAR LOCK BEEPS)
Here we go.

Ooh!

Okay, how do I
close the doors?

(GASPS)

Now how do I
start the car?

Just put it in electric mode.
It's easier to...

(ENGINE REVS)

Whoa! Stop!
(TIRES SCREECH)

April! APRIL: Okay, I got it.
I got it.

LITTLE JORDAN: Watch it! Stop!
(BRAKES SQUEAL)

What are you doing?

Whoa! (SCREAMING)

APRIL: Okay, I got it.
I got it.

LITTLE JORDAN: No, you don't.

APRIL: No, I don't.
Okay, I got it.

I can't go in there.
Mmm-mmm.

You heard Agent Bea.

If you're not
registered today,

I'm going to county.

But this place.

The memories.
It was so hard for me.

I never felt so small.

I know this is hard
for you, and I'm sorry,

but I'm not going to jail for you.
You're going to school.

If you think
I'm listening to someone

with such poor control
over their edges as you,

then, girl,
you are severely mistaken.

(SIGHS)
Okay. That's it.

Listen. I'm the adult,
and you're the child.

So, when I say something,
you listen.

(CHUCKLES) Please.

If you don't stop
embarrassing me

in front of
these white people...

Well, you're
embarrassing yourself.

You know what?

I'm sick of you.

Say one more thing.
I dare you. Fine.

You're too fat
for that skirt.

You know what?

If you want to take it there,
we're going old school.

(GRUNTS)
APRIL: What?

Oh.
Let's go.

I'm requesting backup.
We have a BMW situation.

Black mama whoopin'.

How you like that?

Mmm-mmm.

(YELPS)
Whoo!

Try me.

Okay. See, no. LITTLE JORDAN: Whoo!
How you like that?

You tried it. (CHUCKLES)
No, you tried it.

'Cause I been looking at
you like a little girl,

but you a grown-ass woman,
and you gonna catch a grown beating.

Fine. 'Cause I got
this good knee back.

(GRUNTS)

And how about this?

April.
Should I sell it?

Give that back
to me now.

What are you gonna do
if I don't?

(SHRIEKS)

I told you not to test me!

Yes!

Start spanking your kids.

(LAUGHS)

Reminds me of my mama.

I can't believe
I'm back in this hellhole.

That must be
Principal Han.

Just shut up and stay cool.
And I got it.

Hey. Nice to meet you.
PRINCIPAL HAN: Hey.

Nice to meet you.
Welcome, Jordan.

APRIL: Uh... (CHUCKLES)

She's just nervous.
Aw.

Well, let's
get you started.

Pull it together.

Ah. There's your teacher.
Mr. Marshall.

(SOFT R&B MUSIC PLAYING)

ALL: Damn.

How I get detention?

Yeah. I'll be just fine.

(SIGHS)

Hi.

Hi, we are so excited
to attend this school.

This is Jordan.

She's feeling nervous
about joining your class.

Oh, yeah. Hey, listen,
don't be nervous, okay?

Perfectly normal,
but don't be nervous.

I'll be with you
the whole time.

Promise? Okay.
MARSHALL: Promise.

Your daughter's adorable.

Oh... Not my daughter.
(GAGS)

That's my niece.
Oh.

Um, and I'm April.
April. Gary.

I'm single. But not looking.
I'm not desperate.

Just open and available.
(CHUCKLES)

Got it.

That's where I'm at now.
I just got divorced.

You got divorced?

Oh, no. That's great.
So I'm, like, totally desperate.

Yeah.
Yeah.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Anyway... All right. Uh...
Well, school gets out...

Okay, we should, um...
We should go.

Okay, yeah.
Bye, Gary.

You can get it.
(CHUCKLES)

Okay.

We have a new student
joining our class.

Ladies and gentlemen,
this is Jordan, all right?

And here's what
we're gonna do.

We're gonna give her
a nice warm

Windsor welcome.

Let's start... There you go.
What are you doing?

(STUDENTS CHUCKLE)

This is not
a Windsor welcome.

This is not what
I've taught you guys.

Hey, hey, hey.
I blame the parents.

You know what, Mr. Marshall?
I'll just take it from here.

(SIGHS)

Hi, everyone.
I'm Jordan Sanders.

And I want to make a few things
clear before we get started.

First of all, you're meeting
the new alpha of the class.

I can establish
my dominance easily,

or you can make it
hard for yourself.

Ooh. Nice pants.

If the floods are coming.
(STUDENTS LAUGH)

MARSHALL: Come on.
Yeah. Your clothes suck.

Charlie, zip it!

Thank you, Gary.

It's Mr. Marshall for you.
I'm the teacher.

Mmm-hmm.

And I'm the student.

Okay, where was I? Yeah.

We're gonna skip
the "haze the new girl" thing.

No. It's dull.
Predictable.

And I will strike back with a
vengeance like you've never known.

Well, if you didn't
want to be hazed,

you should've combed your hair.
(CAMERA CLICKS)

(LAUGHTER) MARSHALL: You know what?
One more outburst,

and I'll cancel Spirit Day.

I'm not joking around,
young lady.

But you can't cancel
Spirit Day, Mr. Marshall.

I am Spirit Day.

Oh, good Lord.
JASMINE: Which reminds me...

Get your tickets to the hypest
school spirit pep rally ever.

This year's theme
is Winchella.

Windsor's most talented
students,

and others that we couldn't
block from signing up

because of new rules
of inclusion...

(LAUGHTER)

...will show what makes
Windsor the best.

Whoo! (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

All right. All right. All right.
Thank you. Pipe down. Pipe down.

Open up your books.
You know what I mean?

We're gonna do
some learning.

Start pretending
to read.

Oh, boy, you know.
Meeting new people.

It won't always be
like this. Okay?

'Cause I could tell
when I met you

that you are
a special young lady.

You know what?

I feel like you get me.
Really?

I feel like I get you, too.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

So you feeling
what I'm feeling?

You want to quit?

I think about quitting
every day. (CHUCKLES)

But I can't because
I have a responsibility.

What are you feeling?

Oh!

No. I'm not
feeling that at all.

(STAMMERS)
I'm an adult man.

And you should have a seat.

Okay.

Mr. Hard-To-Get.

I see you.

Mmm-hmm.

Go ahead and sit down.

It's time.

Time to sit down.

Just don't, you know...

(STAMMERING) Just look the other way.
Look the way...

Look up there.
Look away from me.

(SOFTLY) Teach me something.
Don't...

(SIGHS)

So, uh, what are us kids
into these days?

I'm looking for the next big thing,
you know.

Uh... Excuse you.

Cutting without tipping
is rude.

(CHUCKLES)

(SCOFFS)

(GASPS)

Really? You feed this
to children?

To eat?
Mmm-hmm.

(SIGHS)

Postmates.

(SIGHS)

You got this, Jordan.

You're grown.
You're successful.

These kids can't hurt you.

(EXHALES)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(LAUGHTER)

(ALL LAUGHING)

GIRL: Next table.

Oh, my...
She's coming over.

Oh, really?
It's like that, sister?

Mmm-hmm.
Okay. Fine.

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

Come on!

Come here!
Hey!

(SIGHS)
ISAAC: Over here!

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

Huh...

Never thought
I'd say thank you

to anybody offering me
the worst table in the house,

but, um, thank you.
Sure.

Mmm-hmm.

Why do you guys need
a "safe space" for lunch?

(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

(SNORTING)

Stop.

It's becoming clear.

Three years ago, I answered
too many questions correctly.

(SING-SONGY) Friend Zone.

I didn't have
any new clothes

at the start of school
one year.

Over.

(STUTTERING) I don't
even know why I'm here.

(SIGHS)

Who did this to me?
(KIDS LAUGHING)

You better show yourself.

ISAAC: Don't... Don't worry.

(STUTTERING) No one gets stuck
in the Friend Zone forever.

You're cute for thinking that.
Keep living.

No. He's right.

Once everyone sees
our talent at the pep rally,

we can finally get out
of the Friend Zone

and be in the center
of it all.

We'll be cool with everyone.

It's gonna be very "What's up, what's up?"
in the hall.

Who does that Jasmine girl
think she is?

(STUTTERING)
Jasmine, she's...

Sing it, Isaac.

(SINGS) She's so perfect

He doesn't stutter
when he sings.

I see.

These answers better be right.
Duh.

What is wrong with this school?
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

What is it?

(KIDS LAUGHING)

(LITTLE JORDAN READING)

(LAUGHING)

Order for Sanders.

That's me.

All right.

Thank you.

(MARSHALL TUTTING)

There's no Postmates
in school. Okay? Sorry.

You know what?
I am done chasing you.

A man who finds a wife
finds a good thing.

That's Bible, Gary.

(SIGHS)

What a weird little girl.

April, you have to come pick me up.
These kids are demons.

Jordan, I have my first meeting,
and I am freaking out.

I don't think I can do this.

LITTLE JORDAN: Calm down.

Put me in your ear.
Like, on Bluetooth.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

PRESTON: Hey, April.
Hey.

I heard...

Okay. Uh...
I heard Jordan was sick.

Yeah. She's definitely gonna be out for,
like, a day or two.

You ready to hold it down
without her?

Mmm-hmm.

All right.
Well, I'll see you in the meeting.

And I'm sure
you're gonna shine.

You're shining already.
Ah.

Okay.
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

We don't worry about
the flying saucer hardware...

Yeah.
Absolutely.

LITTLE JORDAN: (ON BLUETOOTH)
Okay.

Command their attention.

MAN 1: VR goggles.
MAN 2: Good idea.

Oh, I think we should do the...
MAN 1: Right?

Guys, I need to command
your attention, please.

Uh, can we all just quiet down and focus,
please?

(SHUSHING)

Thanks.

Where's Jordan?

Um, she's under the weather.

So I'm here
just filling in for her.

Is that why you're
wearing her clothes?

These aren't her...
This?

These aren't her clothes.
These are my clothes. (CHUCKLES)

You don't wear cheetah.

I always wear cheetah.
(ROARS)

Jordan is never sick.
She must really be on her deathbed.

(CHUCKLES) Which would be
a developer's dream.

(ALL LAUGH)

Was that Preston?

Ooh, if he wasn't so talented,
I'd fire his butt.

And he also
has a good butt.

He does.

April's right.
We need to focus.

Thank you, Preston.

No. No. Uh-uh.

JSI is going under...

I'm gonna need Melissa to shut up.
EMILY: You're right.

I need to get a new job.
No, you don't.

I'm looking at Jordan's Facebook now.
Don't check it.

This is off the rails.
You have to show them you can be crazy.

Y'all, I can be crazy,
so chill.

Do it now
or you'll never get control.

Do what?
Do it now!

I said, listen up!
(ALL GASP)

(YELLING) You wanna see crazy?
I can show you crazy.

(GRUNTING)

(STRAINING)

(SIGHS)

What, y'all put bricks
in here or something?

Y'all recycle a lot.
Wait, wait. JSI is doing fine.

We all have jobs. Let's innovate.
We're JS Innovations.

I'm in charge.

Oh, God.
This is so hard.

I don't know
what that was and...

What are you wearing?

You look like a cheerleader
for the Migos right now.

This is
the worst day ever.

I'm gonna need a stiff drink
and some clothes that fit.

Corner table for two.

Right this way.

(SIGHS)

Can I start you
with something to drink?

Oh, yes. I'll have
a glass of rosé, please.

Scotch on the rocks.
Two rocks.

And I mean two.
If there's three, it's going back.

(CHUCKLING)
How cute are you?

Are you in charge?

Mmm-hmm.

Let's get real.

This black card's in charge.

What is this?

The kids' menu.

Would you like
this kid's foot up your...

Oh, she'll have
a Shirley Temple.

Porterhouse. Rare.

Right away.

Thank you.

Any leads
on the donut truck?

The city doesn't provide
contact info for the trucks,

and since someone
took them off our route...

Damn it.
But these trucks

need to be inspected
every year,

and they can't just go
to any auto repair shop.

So I narrowed it down to a
dozen repair shops in the city

that handle
food truck inspections.

And I have
an intern making calls,

so we should have
a lead soon.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you.

Mmm.

This is heaven.
(STAMMERS) You know.

LITTLE JORDAN: Mmm-hmm.

APRIL: Mmm. Mmm. Mmm!

Oh, it's not all bad
at your school, though,

'cause can we talk about Mr. Marshall,
the other white meat?

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Oh, girl,
I was thinking about going back to pork.

Hello. Oink, oink.
Him fine as swine.

(SIGHS) I'd like to
teach him some things.

What are you gonna teach him
in that scrawny, flat body?

Well, at least
I'm not dried up

like a creek hit by
a drought down there.

Please stop.

Just a dusty bed of rocks
where water once flowed.

(STAMMERS) It's not dusty.

Anyways, what's up
with you and Preston?

Making puppy dog eyes
at him all day.

We're just friends.

Well, yeah, 'cause you're
too scared to get at him.

You see,
that's your problem with work and men.

You can't close the deal.

What about you?

You hire employees
but don't trust them.

You meet people
but don't make friends.

You date, and
you don't commit. (SCOFFS)

Committing is overrated.
I'm a boss.

I can't be heartbroken.

Men want me to be just like
a Mary J. Blige song.

Just down without them.

But I'm too strong
for that mess.

Okay.
(SIGHS)

Oh, can you actually
just leave the whole bottle

'cause she left her card,
right? (CHUCKLES)

She comes from money.
(LAUGHS)

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Why are you sniffing
and holding my glass?

My hand is not on your glass.

I literally see
your baby fingers

right now
gripping my glass.

Well, I think
you're seeing things.

Jordan, no drinking.
I mean it.

You got my aunties
over there trippin'. Stop.

Relax. I'm fine.

She's fine.
It's a game we play.

I'm drinking. You're drinking.

(SING-SONGY)
One. Two. Three. Drink.

(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)

WOMAN: Girl,
that baby's drunk.

(SINGING) Time on my hands

Since you've been away, boy

I ain't got no plan

No, no, no, no

But, see, I do got plans 'cause I'm the boss,
okur? (CLEARS THROAT)

And the sound of the rain

Against my windowpane

APRIL: Stop.

Jordan. Get down.

Is slowly
Is slowly driving me insane

I'm sorry.

Boy, I'm going down

(WHISPERS) Why are you
embarrassing me like this?

I'm going down

Go down then.
Come down.

'Cause you ain't around

Some kids need more
than just time out.

First of all
I am a great mother.

I encourage
this type of behavior.

Matter of fact...

(THUD)

(SINGING)
Sleep don't come easy

Boy, please believe me

Sorry.

Since you been gone

(MAN GASPS)

Everything's going wrong

Everything! Everything!
Yes, auntie!

Why'd you have
to say goodbye?

Look what you've done to me

Who is this?

I can't stop these tears

You don't know her?

From falling from my eyes

Oh, baby

I'm going down

I'm going down

'Cause you ain't around, baby

My whole world's upside down

Oh, I don't know what to do

If I ever lose you

I'll be going down

I said, I'll be going down

(BOTH VOCALIZES)

Oh.

Please forgive me, baby

I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry

Sorry

(APPLAUSE)

All right, I'm out.
April.

You can't leave.

If Vince sees you
outside leaving,

then he might call
Agent Bea.

Are you asking me
to spend the night?

I don't know how much longer
I can take being 13.

Please?

Miss April, ma'am?

Thank you.

LITTLE JORDAN: Well, see you

at the crossroads,
Wicked Witch.

So? How's it look?

Um...

It'll get you through
the night. Yeah.

You like this movie?

Yeah. I love it.

Work! Work! Work!

Yes! Come through.

All lunch hours are canceled!

Are you serious?

EVILLENE: Now suffer!

Really? Evillene was a boss.

I learned so much about
running a company from her.

HEAD WINKIE: We haven't had
a lunch hour in six months!

That explains a lot.

But I wasn't always
this hard on people.

When I was first this age,
I stopped being open and kind.

Every time I tried to fit in,
kids would just beat me down.

Make fun of me, bully me.

At that point,
I just gave up on people.

It hurt too much to care.

(SIGHS) Anyways,
when I grew up,

I guess I just
attacked people first

before they could attack me.

I get it.

It's hard out here for girls.

It's like, you get one shot
if you're lucky.

And if you don't
hit the bull's-eye,

people will drag you.

Am I done?

You finished and done.

Cool.

HOMEGIRL: Initiating
"Bed" light sequence.

You're welcome, ladies.

What is going on?

(SENSUAL R&B MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)

He's here.
APRIL: Who?

Oh, my God.
Did you order him?

Is this rich people Postmates?

Ooh. (CHUCKLES)

He's doing the dolphin.
He could flip me.

Oh, my God.

(SINGING)
Throw a flower in the air

(APRIL CHUCKLES)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Yes.

Ooh. Put me in the middle
of that. Yes! Yes!

(APRIL GIGGLES)

Oh, no.
You can't look at this.

This is for
grown folks' eyes only.

(GASPS LOUDLY)

TREVOR: Kid, stop looking!
Oh, my God.

Oh, just
calm down.

It's fine.
No, it's fine.

LITTLE JORDAN: Just relax.

No, it is not.
No, it is not fine.

What's wrong with you?

Oh, 'cause she's a child.
You a child.

Oh, right.
(LAUGHS)

What?

What are you
doing here?

Well, what are you doing here?
This is my house.

Who are you?

Oh. Um...

Well, I'm April

with a "A" for available.
(GIGGLES)

So great...

So nice to meet you. Mmm.

Listen, what I'm trying
to understand is,

why would you be in Jordan's
apartment watching some...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I know exactly who you are.

You do?

Oh. For sure.

Listen, everything's
gonna be okay. All right?

Don't worry.
Everything's gonna be fine.

We gonna figure
this out together.

It's gonna take
some adjusting,

and, to be honest, I'd always
imagined having my own kids at first,

but I guess when God sends
you a child to love,

it doesn't matter
where it comes from.

Wait. What the hell
are you talking about?

This is why Jordan
was so closed off to me.

She was embarrassed
to tell me she's a single mom.

Oh, God, no. No, no, no.

Get out. Go. You know what?
I think you'd better go.

Look at you. You're so cute.
You should go.

Like a little doll.
We could go together, but you gotta go.

Lovable.
Look at this...

No, no.
Wait, wait.

Oh, my God,
you're so strong.

Key.

You sound
just like your mama.

That tough exterior just trying
to protect what's on the inside.

Look, you ain't got to do that no more.
Just give me the key.

Okay? I'm here for you.
All right?

And, look,
(STAMMERS)

listen, don't tell your mama.
All right? (ELEVATOR DINGS)

Just give me a chance
to explain, okay?

I'll be back. All right?
I'll be back. Daddy's home!

Mama's home, too.

TREVOR: Whoo!

I'm on Hinge, Tinder, and Christian Mingle.
(CHUCKLES)

So now what?

I hate to say it,

but I have to
go back to work.

And you have to go back to... No, no, no.
Please don't say it, April.

To school.

We can't risk it
with Agent Bea.

You don't understand what school was like.
Or is like.

The way this Jasmine girl makes
people feel about themselves.

She's mean,
cruel, a bully.

Doesn't care about
anyone's feelings.

Yeah, I can't imagine
what that's like.

You're not talking
about me, are you?

There's probably a reason
why you became this Jordan.

Maybe you have to do something
differently at this age.

Botox?

I'm just saying,
you have a chance anyone would kill for.

You get to be
a child again.

So, knowing what you know now,
what would you do different?

I'd stunt on those kids.

Yeah.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

KID: Hey.

(GASPING)

(KIDS GASP AND EXCLAIM)

Straws? That's me.

GIRL: Oh, my God,
the hot pink.

I know. I know.

Oh, my God. Is that...

Custom? Yes. Yes, it is.

RAINA: Jordan.
Yeah?

You look...
I know. I know.

Wow! Jasmine gave you
respect. That's huge.

(BELL RINGS)

It's time.
Time for what?

Time for everything
to change around here.

Winchella auditions
starting now.

No, no, no.
(SQUEALS)

No talent shows. No auditions.

We got this.
Isaac's got the voice.

(VOCALIZES) And
we've got the moves.

(GROUP EXCLAIMS)

It literally cannot go wrong.

Yes!
Let's do this!

(GROUP GIGGLES)

Come on!
It's gonna be great!

(UPBEAT R&B MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)

(FLOOR SQUEAKING)

That was amazing.
See you all at Winchella.

(GROUP CHEERS)

Oh. Except for you,
Becca. You suck.

Come on, guys.

Next!

Sure you don't want
to join us, Jordan?

Yeah, we could really
use one more dancer.

You could freestyle.

No way. I am never going on that
stage and sharing myself again.

I landed butt-first in a
stack full of cardboard boxes

the last time
I tried that.

Next!

Hi.

Okay, so what's
your talent?

(STUTTERS) I'm singing.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SINGING AND STUTTERING)
And, and, and

(CONTINUES STUTTERING)

And, and we're finished. Next!

Okay, so sometimes
he gets nervous.

But, trust us,
he's amazing.

And then we do this,
like, really hype dance

and we back him up.
RAINA: Yeah, yeah.

So, we'll just skip to
the part where we dance.

Music.

(SILENCE)

We'll just go.
Um...

Five, six, seven,
eight, and...

I'm sorry.

(GROANS)
Oh!

(SCATTERED LAUGHTER)

Okay, that's enough.
You're in.

See you all at Winchella.

Awesome. Thank you.

You guys are gonna be
blown away.

We already are.

Yes.

See?
See what?

That was a disaster.

(STUTTERING) It wasn't as great
as we thought it was gonna be.

But that's okay.
We'll totally kill it at Winchella. Right?

Yeah.
Are you crazy?

She just let you into Winchella
just to make fun of you.

I don't know. I mean,
she seemed pretty nice.

Yeah, plus, they won't laugh when
they really see what we're about.

Forget showing who you really are.
That is social suicide.

Huh?
LITTLE JORDAN: You know what?

I'm gonna teach you
how to be somebody else,

somebody that a bully
wouldn't dare to make fun of

because you're living a life
that they can only dream of.

And that can't happen here.

(STUTTERS) I've never skipped a
second of school in my whole life.

Mmm-hmm. And, uh,
where has that gotten you?

Let's go.

(KIDS GASPING)

Wow!

KIDS: Wow!

You live here?

ISAAC: This is so cool.

Is this what having money feels like?
Wow!

Okay, guys, now focus.

This is about showing Jasmine

and the rest of the school
what they're missing out on

by not being friends
with you guys.

So we have to look like
we're having the most fun.

Isn't it easier just
to really have fun?

Ain't nobody
got time for reality.

We're talking
about the Internet.

(SIGHS) Okay.

Um, HomeGirl, a vibe, please.

HOMEGIRL:
HomeGirl doesn't know you.

Voice recognition denied.

I said, HomeGirl,
a vibe, please.

HOMEGIRL: All right.
Playing a vibe.

Okay.
(HIP-HOP MUSIC BEGINS ON SPEAKERS)

So, no one's gonna be jealous
of you guys looking like you.

So we have to change
all of this. Follow me.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CHUCKLES)

(EXCLAIMING)

(SQUEALS)

No, no, no.
(GASPING)

(GROANING)

(GRUNTING)

(GASPS)

(ALL SIGH)

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
That was awesome.

We look so cool.

Oh! Look, look.
Look at all these likes.

Wow! Even Jasminekittycat
heart-eyed our story.

I mean, I still think
Winchella would've been fun.

One wrong move,
and then you'll lose all your followers.

Forget Winchella.

She's right.
We can't mess this up.

I've changed your life
for the better.

My work here is done.

Your Lyft
is downstairs.

Thank you.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)

Bye.

What are you doing here?

I don't know, okay?

I walked into the store.
There was pink everywhere.

And the next thing I know I'm
handing over my credit card and...

You probably don't
play with toys, huh?

I should have
thought about this.

I'm nervous, okay?

I just want to make a good
impression on you and your mom.

Where's Jordan?

Business trip.

Look, do you want me to send
her a message or something?

No. I mean, yes.

There's just so much
I want to say.

But your mama just makes it
so hard to talk face-to-face.

Just come in.

PRESTON: (CHUCKLING)
Hey, what is happening?

Hey...
No, no.

Yo, these are dope.

Uh, thanks.

So you ready?

Uh-huh. Uh, no.

I can't do it.

I can't run
another pitch meeting,

and it's fine.
It's good. I'm good.

April, you have so many
dope ideas. Look at this.

You know,
you could really bring the team together.

I can't do it
like Jordan.

Yes, thank God.

She never lets us
get our ideas out,

and that's including you.

You're right.

So what you gonna do?

I guess I'm gonna
run it like me.

I'm sorry. I couldn't
hear what you said.

I said I'm gonna
run it like me.

I'm sorry.
I couldn't hear you.

I'm gonna go up there...
Uh-huh?

...and run that
pitch meeting like April,

who's me, and I'm gonna kill it.
Uh-huh.

You gonna kill it?
Yes!

Up there, I'm gonna kill it.
You gonna kill it up there?

Yes!
Okay.

April, when I first heard that you
were leading the pitch meeting,

I really only came
for the bagels.

(ALL CHUCKLE)

But this is the first time I feel like
my pitch has actually been heard.

MELISSA: (CHUCKLES)
Tell me about it.

I haven't even taken one of
my anti-anxiety pills today.

Look at us. I mean,
this is nice. Right?

I mean, this is like a very positive,
like, AA meeting. Right?

Yeah! Right.

Yeah.
Thank you, guys, so much.

I'm so glad this is fun.

But I have to be honest. The
ideas just aren't there yet.

We gotta do better.

CONNOR:
Let's hear them!

Ready to make that money.

Is that...

APRIL: Mr. Connor.

How long
have you been here?

I don't know.
I never learned how to tell time.

Someone else
does time for me.

Well, but the pitch
isn't until tomorrow.

Where's Jordan?

Jordan...

She's at home,
dealing with some stuff

in her private area.
That's...

Whew!

It is on fire.

Mmm.

Got a hot box down there?

I've dealt
with a few of those.

You said
you dealt with a few?

So what have you got?

Come on.
The suspense is killing me.

(CHIMES)

So what's your plan
for my mom?

(CHUCKLES)

There is no plan.

I enjoy
spending time with her.

That can't be it.

There's gotta be some angle.

Well, there isn't.

I see her. You know?

I mean, she's only tough
so no one can hurt her.

But on the low,

your mom is
really, really silly.

Like, I can't even tell you how
many times I caught her goofing

and dancing around here when she
thought no one was watching.

Mmm-hmm. (CLEARS THROAT)

All right.
Then let's get real.

You're here
for her money, huh?

(CLEARS THROAT) What?
Mmm-hmm.

No. I'm not here
for her money.

I do pretty well for myself.

You're a starving artist.

Yes, I am an artist.

Your mom only assumes
I'm starving.

I actually just had a great show
at the Studio Museum in Harlem.

I am surprised that I...

My mom didn't know that
about you.

I mean, how could she?

Right?

She never asks me anything,

and she definitely doesn't
tell me much about herself.

I mean,
I didn't know about you.

Then, if she's so tough,
then why are you here?

(SIGHS)

I care about your mom.

To be that guarded,

it has to be lonely.

I just want her to know that, even though
she may feel like she's on her own,

no matter what,
I truly have her back.

That is very nice to hear.

You see, I can do this. I can do this.
Right? I could be a great dad.

You know what?
This was a really good talk.

How about you
just give me a hug?

(CHUCKLES) Okay.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
You're so cool.

I knew we were
gonna hit it off.

Okay, all right.
All right, okay.

All right. Okay...

Let go. Uh-uh. Mmm-mmm.

Uh... Wait. Wait...

All right. All right.
Wait a minute.

Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait. No!

What are you doing?

Oh...

(CLEARS THROAT)
Right. Um...

No, don't.
You're on time out.

You need to
stay here and...

Matter of fact, you go sit in the corner.
You think about what you did.

I'm gonna leave you
by yourself.

No, just wait!

(DOOR OPENS)

Come back.
(DOOR SHUTS)

(CHIMES)

(SIGHS)

Come on.

What's her name?
Oh, that's April.

April. April! Hey!

Put me in your ear,
and I'll tell you what to say.

Time is money. Bring it.
What have you got?

LITTLE JORDAN: April.
I gotta go.

Don't you dare
hang up on me!

Sorry.

Can't hang up. It was like,
"Can you hear me now?" And then...

April!

The idea that we
wanna pitch tomorrow

is called, um...

It's called DiscoverEyes.

It's an interactive game where you can see
the world through the eyes of a child.

Or, you know, we have other ideas, too.
You... She...

No.

That's the one
I wanna hear.

DiscoverEyes.

Dope!

I'll be back in 24 hours
to hear the pitch.

DiscoverEyes. All right.
APRIL: Yes. DiscoverEyes.

SCOTT: DiscoverEyes.
Yeah. Sounds promising.

DiscoverEyes.

Scott.
Yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

MELISSA: You did it.

We did it, guys.

You did what?

I never approved
DiscoverEyes.

I never approved you
even pitching that idea.

And now my future
and my whole company

is gonna be running off
an assistant's pitch!

Well, what did you want me to do?
You told me to help.

You serious?

Disloyal.

Self-serving.

Huh.

You did this for you.
Not me. Not the company!

So I'm self-serving?

You're the one who only
cares about yourself.

You're nasty
to everyone here,

like we're not trying to help
make your company great.

Yeah, right.

Sure. You stab me in the back,
then blabbing all your bad ideas

to my top client
to get your first shot!

How would you know?

'Cause you've never even
heard my pitch!

You are such a child!
Whether you're 38 or 13,

it's still the same mess
with you.

You see, now I know why you're
too scared of taking risks.

'Cause you don't even know
what the hell you're doing!

You should just stay scared.

You know what?

I'm sending all the pitches

in your inbox, including mine,

because, clearly, you want to do
this on your own, which is fine.

Yes. That's exactly
how I want it.

You know what I want?

(GRUNTS) Carbs.
That's what I want.

I quit!

Go, then!

I'm doing that right now!

I'm not following
your instructions anymore!

So, girl, bye!

Girl, bye!

What'd you say?

Bye, girl!

Girl, bye-bye!

Bye-bye-bye! I'm NSYNC.

Argh!

And take your damn bagels with you!
Oh!

Was that an everything bagel?
You are nothing!

And bring me back
my clothes!

Too late!
I stretched them out.

LITTLE JORDAN:
I still want them!

APRIL: Too bad!
(GRUNTS)

MELISSA: There's only one person
I know who acts like that.

Don't say it.
(BREATHES SHARPLY) Jordan Sanders.

PRESTON: Hey.

What?

Who are you?

Excuse me?

Whose child are you?

Whose child are you?
Whose child is this,

walking around here
in a tiny pink pantsuit?

Shut up!
Get back to work!

You know what? She need a whoopin'.
What's in my purse?

Let me go. You know,
I'm gonna go get a belt

'cause I sure ain't got one on me today.
Yeah, get a belt.

Whoop somebody else's child.

You know, is it bad I hope
Jordan never comes back?

EMILY: No.
No.

EMILY: God.

(SOFT R&B MUSIC PLAYING)

What is happening to me?

God, just please
send me a sign.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

(SIGHS)

(CAR LOCK BEEPS)

Oh. Hey, little lady.
Stop.

Oh, um...

Hey, Vince.

I appreciate you being so conscientious,
but it's fine.

I'm not going to fire you.

Yeah, but Miss Sanders will.

I have to
make something right,

and I can't do it
without my precious baby.

No way. Come on.
Give me the keys back.

Fine. I'm sorry.

Thank you.

(VINCE GRUNTS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(HORNS HONKING)

(MUSIC THUMPING
ON CAR STEREO)

Hey, girl. How old are you?

(SIGHS)

I don't even know, man.

I don't know, either.
(LAUGHING)

Hey.

I have that address
you were looking for.

The what?

The donut girl. But it's gonna be
tough to find her after today.

Their route's, like,
impossible to track.

Thank you.

(SIGHS)

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
ON CAR STEREO)

(PHONE CHIMES)

(MUSIC VOLUME LOWERS)
Hello?

I'm still mad at you,
but I found Stevie and the truck.

I don't know
how long she'll be there.

(SIGHS) I have to get to
Winchella to help those kids.

Look, I screwed up.

I told them not to do
their stupid dance.

But I was wrong.

Well, I'm just letting you know
that this may be your last chance

to reverse whatever this is,

or you'll be living
that preteen life forever.

So do what you gotta do.

You're right.

(TIRES SCREECH)

(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)

(CHEERING)

Who's got
that Winchella spirit?

(WHOOPING)

Guys.

You guys
have to perform tonight.

(STUTTERING) But you said
that was social suicide.

Look, I'm not gonna lie.

You guys could go to the hospital
if you guys go on that stage.

But that shouldn't stop you.

What? No.

(STUTTERING) That should
definitely stop us.

You guys may be too young
to understand this,

but I bailed
on being my true self

because people told me
I didn't count or fit in.

You're only, like,
six months older than us, Jordan.

Everyone thinks you have to grow
up to figure out who you are,

but they're wrong.

When we're kids,
we know who we are.

It's just the world
that beats it out of us.

So, with that being said,

you guys should perform the dance
that you guys worked so hard on.

Come on, guys.
What do you say?

(STUTTERS)
No. We're good.

We're just chilling.

Yeah. We'll sit this one out.

It's Jasmine's world.

Who's got
that Winchella spirit?

(CHEERING)

I'll teach you guys there's
nothing to be afraid of.

What are you doing?

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

GIRL 1:
Get off the stage!

GIRL 2:
What's she doing up there?

(KIDS BOOING)

(MUSIC STOPS) GIRL 3:
Move it, Sanders!

BOY: Get off the stage.

Lame!

No, guys.
Let's give her a chance.

See what she got.

Give her some music.

GIRL 4:
Yeah, let's see it.

(PLAYING HIP-HOP MUSIC)

GIRL 5:
Show us something!

Oh, my God.

GIRL 6: That's not cool!

BOY 2: Get off the stage!

BOY 3: Boring!

(KIDS JEERING)

BOY 4:
Yeah, get the running man!

Okay.

(CHEERING)

Get it, Sanders!

(CHEERING GROWS LOUDER)

BOY 5:
You got this, Sanders!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(GASPS)
(SHRIEKS)

Oh!
(GRUNTING)

(ALL EXCLAIM)

ISAAC: Oh, no! Jordan!

DEVON: Jordan, are you okay?

Jordan!

(LAUGHING)

RAINA: Are you okay?

I'm sorry, guys.

It's okay.
You were great.

That was the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for us.

(STUTTERING)
And the most dangerous.

(KIDS BOOING)

BOY: What's he doing?

(CLEARS THROAT)

KID: What are you doing?

(SINGING) And I am telling you

I'm not going

I'm the best man
you'll never know

There's no way I can ever go

No, no, no, no way

No, no, no, no

And you, and you, and you

You're gonna love me

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS AND CHEERS)

You're gonna love me

(VOCALIZING)

Hit it.

(ALL CHEERING)

(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING IN UNISON)

Okay.

AUDIENCE: (IN UNISON)
Go, go, go!

Whoo!

(AUDIENCE CONTINUE
CHEERING IN UNISON)

(MUSIC ENDS)

(CHEERING)

I thought
you weren't coming.

LITTLE JORDAN:
Well, I mean, I wasn't.

But a good friend of mine,

who I should really
stop being mean to,

helped me realize something.

Even if it means I have to be a
child for the rest of my life.

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

I do.

MAN: All right, sweetie, time to go.
RAINA: Hey! Dad!

DEVON: Hey, Mom!
RAINA: Look, we did it!

DEVON: Hey, you made it!
ISAAC: Did you see me?

RAINA: They loved it!
What are you doing here?

Being a friend.

You're the evil lady
from the office?

Well...
(CLEARS THROAT) Yes.

But I've had real emotional
growth in a few areas.

Just turn me back.

Mmm-hmm?
Me?

Yep, that thing right there.
Just point that. (CLICKS TONGUE)

Yep.
(SIGHS)

Wait.

If I do, are you gonna
be all mean?

Didn't you just hear me say
I had emotional growth?

Jesus!

I apologize for yelling.
That was mean.

I'll be nice.
Hurry up and do it.

Okay.

I wish
you were all grown up.

Oh...

Give it to me.

(SIGHS) Okay.

Turn me back.

Big Jordan.

Grown-ass Jordan.

Come on.

Come on. I really need this.

Uh-uh, girl.
That's not how you do it.

Well, how do you know?
You didn't even know you did it.

Give me my wand!

I wish you were a marshmallow.
What?

STEVIE: I wish
you were chocolate cake.

Man!

She tried to turn those white
people into marshmallows.

STEVIE: I wish you were
a sweet potato pie.

That was
Black Girl Tragic.

So, um...

I've decided to come clean
with everyone about

whatever happened to me
because this isn't changing.

(SIGHS)

Are you sure?

I hid this little girl in me
for so long,

trying to be
someone I'm not.

(SIGHS) But no more.

This is me.

Hey, so, I...

I looked at your app.

It's good.

Really?
(SCOFFS) No.

The truth is,
it's really great.

I just got jealous.

I thought you were trying to
steal my thunder or something.

But it was petty of me.
It was small.

Very small.

I'm...

S...

Sorry!

What?

I've just never heard you
say those words before.

Thank you.

You're really talented, April.

I mean it.

You were right.

I was trying to take my shot
with Connor.

But I wasn't trying to stab you in
the back or anything. I just...

I wanted to get mine.

Well, good for you.

That means you're ready.

So I got this?

Are you asking,
or are you telling?

No, I got this. I got it.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

And you know
I have your back, right?

'Cause I know how much
winning means to you.

But I've been winning
the wrong way.

I realized that I wasn't
letting people be themselves

because I never
accepted myself.

Now I know that I can win
and still be me.

So go and pitch your idea
tomorrow.

Without you?

When you win,
my whole company wins.

And also,

you're a really good friend.

Honestly, my first.

So that's why
you're so bad at it.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Come here
with your cute little self.

Okay.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You're adorable.

HOMEGIRL:
Morning inspiration.

Even if you press
the snooze button,

it's never too late to become the
person you've always wanted to be.

Wake up, Jordan.

(SIGHS)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(GROANS)

Uh...

I'm back!

I'm back!

I'm back! I'm back!

I'm back! I'm back! I'm back!

I love you! Oh, God!

I am never leaving you again!

(EXCLAIMING)

Oh, God!

Here I come! I'm back!

Connor, thank you again.

We are so excited
to pitch this idea for you.

We've been working hard.
It's good... Uh...

Jordan Sanders sighting,
folks!

(LAUGHS) Connor!

You know I wouldn't
let you down.

Jordan, you're big... Back!
You're back.

Oh, she's... She back.
Yep.

I'm back.

Thank you, Connor,
so much for just coming

and allowing us to share
this pitch with you today.

I mean, I personally...

I love it...

And, um, I love the person
responsible for it.

So please let me re-introduce
you to my colleague.

Miss April Williams will
be pitching for you today.

She is the brains
behind DiscoverEyes.

Okay, I know
I said fresh voices,

but this whole thing
is your assistant's idea?

Yes.

Yeah, it is.

It is.

And you get ready to have
your khakis knocked off.

(ALL LAUGH)

I'm not wearing khakis.

Are you sure? I thought...
In my mind, you were.

(WHISPERS)
You got this.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

Remember the innocence and
the optimism of being a kid?

You were brave enough to be
yourself and to do things your way.

You saw the possibilities,

the wonder
of the world around you.

Before you grew up,
before the walls went up,

before somebody told you the
rules or where you fit in,

you were brave enough
to see the magic in you.

That is DiscoverEyes.

An app that transforms the ordinary
into something extraordinary.

Because we're all extraordinary.
We just have to discover it.

Pass.

We had a good run,
Jordan.

You're gonna regret it!
We should probably go, guys.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Good try,
April.

So I didn't "got that."

I blew it. I'm sorry.

No. No, no, no.
April, we can sell this.

Come on, you can't give up.

I'm not.

I'm gonna schedule
16 more pitches.

There it is. That's my girl.

Oh.

My purse.

Yes. Your purse
is right there.

Are you gonna...

Hmm?
You're not... You gotta.

No, you big.

You big. (CHUCKLES)
You're back!

(CHUCKLES)

I'm back.

(HUMMING)

Mornin'.

One second.

I said,
"Good morning," woman.

When I say, "Good morning,"
you say, "Good morning," back.

(GIGGLING)
Good morning.

We're screwed.

It's over. I tried.
We all tried.

DiscoverEyes is not happening.

JORDAN: (ON MEGAPHONE)
Everybody, outside!

Oh, God!

JORDAN: Now!

Oh. Better bring my Xanax.

JORDAN: Closer.

Closer! Don't be scared.
Come in close.

Okay.

JSI...

(FEEDBACK WHINES)

Well, we've reached
the end of a long,

humiliating,

self-esteem-crushing

road of no's.

No! No, no, no!

No, no! No, no! No, no!

(SINGING) No, no, no!
No, no!

But as a wise person
once said,

"All it takes is one yes."

So please take your little
exhausted hands

and put them together,

so we can congratulate April,

who has officially sold
DiscoverEyes!

What? Oh, my God!
(APPLAUSE)

She did it!

And that's not all.

It is officially the biggest deal
in JSI history! We are rich!

(CHEERING)

APRIL: We rich!

Oh, my gosh!
PRESTON: Yeah!

A new day is dawning at JSI.

And it's notjust about me.
It is about us!

With that in mind, please,

(SIGHS)

let me introduce to you

JSI and Associates!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Step right up,
associate April Williams. Oh, that is...

Thank you!

I need a magnifying glass
to see it, but okay.

No, if you just,
like, look right...

Like, if you get this close...
Like, if you put your forehead on it,

you can see all of it, "And associates."
(SIGHS)

Yes.
That's nice.

That's us now, guys.
Whoo.

We're a team.

And I am so proud of you, April!
(FEEDBACK WHINING)

Thank you.

You know I'm right here,
so you don't have to use that.

Okay, if there's
one thing I know,

it's how JSI and Associates
likes to celebrate.

Carbs!

(ALL CHEERING)
(SCREAMS)

JORDAN: You get a donut!

You get a donut!

(SQUEALS)
There's donuts!

You're incredible.

Congrats.

You can't do that.
I'm a boss now.

What?

Just kidding.
You can get it. (BOTH LAUGH)

JORDAN: Oh, my gosh!

Oh, no.

Guys!
What are you doing here?

(EXCLAIMS
AFFECTIONATELY)

I'm so happy to see you.

I brought these awesome kids that you've
never, ever met before from Windsor

to test out HomeGirl.

Well, that's awesome.
Yeah.

Thanks for coming,
guys.

JSI,

are y'all ready to party?

ALL: Yeah!

HomeGirl, I need a vibe.

HOMEGIRL:
HomeGirl playing JSI vibe.

(R&B MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)

(LAUGHING)

JORDAN: Yes!

(LAUGHTER)

Uh-huh!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

JORDAN: So that's me now.

Jordan Sanders
and my best friend, April.

Yeah, I've got a best friend.

And that's the story
of how the little girl in me

came back to show that you can't
let anyone else define you.

Of course, there's always
gonna be people out there

who just don't want you
to live your best life.

The trick is
not becoming one of them.

(R&B MUSIC CONTINUES)

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